How Did You Frick Up Your First Day On The Job?

first day free cups what's your worst my first day working as a receptionist at a vet clinic I was still pretty unfamiliar with the software used for documenting what was to be done during a clinic visit I didn't know what to put him for a puppy's first rabies shot and no one was around to ask so I just guessed and checked off something called rabies lab a few minutes later the vet seen the puppy pulled me out back and asked if I'd made a mistake turns out I'd called for a rabies lab test not a vaccine turns out a rabies test involves cutting a dog's head off and having it shipped off to have its brain tested for rabies so I basically called for a puppy to be beheaded on my first day this has got to be one of the best first day stories here good job spilled chloroform on my hand while doing an RNA extraction at a bio lab stumbled over to the lab manager told him that if I blacked out it was because I spilled chloroform on my hand then blacked out my first day working at an auto sales lot my boss was a huge black guy named owl he smirked at me and said we had to wash every car on the lot they were big eighties Lincoln's at least we had a wash bay with a pressure washer nozzle I pulled the first one out from its row threw it in reverse and promptly backed up right into the owners demonstration model he ran out and yelled at me my boss yelled we're just playing bumper cars the owner was not amused but there was no visible damage a few cars later I pulled one out onto the street and rammed the tire into a sewer drain and the sidewalk that had a pointed edge it dug into the tire and I watched as it started hissing and going flat my boss told the owner as someone walking by had stabbed it with a knife things went better from there we got almost all the cars done when the washer nozzle came apart apparently it happened all the time and I was sent two parts to get the needed fix the guy there saw I was new and nervous and told me to tell al to stop and rigging the thing and fix it right like the moronic robots I was I went up to this large black man and repeated exactly what I was told to say his face went blank and got a pained look and I realized what I had said the guys in the service bay roared with laughter I didn't get fired but I did get that service manager back he asked me months later to wash his car for a wedding he was going to I washed every inch except a portion on the side where I had taped in letters that spelled out jackass has arrived it looked great when I sprayed it down and it was wet but when it ride I had hoped who could clearly see the words you could he came back furious I quit shortly after that sounds like huge blackout is a pretty awesome human being didn't show up at all for my first day working at a bar why cause I was out drinking all night to celebrate getting the job at the same thing bar pretty much no excuse there as a teenager I worked at Dairy Queen awesome job by the way first day they put me and drive through with two female and also teenaged co-workers so I can watch and learn how to make whatever they're making I watched them make a few blizzards and figure it's easy you just put ice cream and candy topping into the cup stick it in the blending thing flip the switch and mix it up which yes it is that easy except one of the girls training me finally says okay you can make the next blizzard that gets ordered somebody orders one and it's a nerds blizzard yuck in case you wondered she advises that nerds have a tendency to punch through the side off the paper cup while blending so you have to use two cups what she doesn't mention with that when you do this you have to keep a finger on the inside cup while you're blending to keep it from spinning around in the outside cup I flip the switch and the inside cup starts spinning furiously the contents of the cup begin to fly out and both girls start screaming by the time I flip the switch again I have spackled vanilla soft serve and nerds all over every square inch of the drive-through not to mention both girls and myself looking back the real reason this was a first-day [ __ ] is at me plus two teenage girls plus the three of us being covered in vanilla soft serve could have easily become the most amazing workplace physical encounter ever conceived but I was too [ __ ] to realize it when I was about 22 I got my first proper job in an investment bank I was introduced to the head of the department a high-fly lady probably in her mid 30s but of course seemed quite old to me not long out of university she said that she noticed from my CV that we'd been to the same school I said wow what a coincidence my mother went there as well you might have known her I didn't understand until a while afterwards why she suddenly went cold on me and ended the meeting I had the same thing with my boss although I did not say it to his face I always assumed he was my mom's age and I kind of treated him as an elder or well a 45 year old then I found out he was 32 during my first week working at a library I received a call from a guy who sounded authoritative but the library often gets calls from government agencies and such he asked for my boss's home phone number there was a small book of numbers next to the phone so I gave him her number assuming this was an urgent call about funding applications or booksellers etc it turns out that I gave my boss's number to a guy that has been stalking her for years she was not happy oh man I work at a library too there is some unbelievably flicked up crap that happens in libraries when I try to tell my friends they always call Bulls on me this isn't necessarily a freak up and it's not my first day story but here goes so I used to work in an intensive residential treatment center for kids with severe autism the kids there are very low functioning and unpredictable so needless to say there are some pretty interesting first days for people but one of my favorite stories was one a co-worker had told me he said one day this girl comes in for her first day we were giving her the tour of the place and and introducing the kids to her once we got to client X's room and opened the door sure enough client X was sitting naked in the middle of his bedroom floor masturbating furiously I closed the door and told her that he does that sometimes she didn't seem shocked at all and I figure that was a good sign but after a few minutes she asked to the bathroom a few minutes later I saw her through the window riding away on her bike she never came back if she scared off by something that small it was most likely for the best as I'm sure that job isn't easy my first week of work out a fortune 500 company I deleted about half of the company's internal DNS records you should have seen the look on my face when a bunch of department heads came flying to our area waiter at Italian restaurant first tray full of red wine glasses for a table of Cougars leaned over to place first wine glass down spilt six eight glasses on a lady wearing all white I started at a subway shop in Jersey when I was sixteen I was immediately taught that each footlong sandwich with cheese was to get six triangles of cheese no more no less an hour later a customer ordered one such sandwich and I prepared it accordingly with the boss looking over my shoulder when the customer left he asked how much cheese did you just put I dunno six seven he screamed you put seven pieces well I'm sorry it won't happen he cut me off sorry will not bring back the piece of cheese I didn't go back to that sucker freak man cheese is more expensive and printer ink you could cost the company millions in a week probably not my most humiliating experience but as far as first day's go it wasn't fun when I was in high school I wanted to take Spanish in addition to French in part because I wanted to go with the Spanish club to Spain however only students who were in third year and above would be able to go I asked my guidance counselor if I could study on my own and then test into third year she said no and as an added bonus I should probably discontinue my college prep courses because it's not necessary for someone in my situation as I would likely be working in a factory naturally that P me off and I went directly to the head of the Spanish Department to ask her if I could study independently and test into third year she said it was unlikely that I would be able to do it but if I did and I passed the exam she would have proved it I studied my boss off for several months and the time came to take the test I took it and did really well however the head of the Spanish Department didn't have a section of the class that would fit into my schedule so I would be placed into another teacher's class this teacher was P that I was joining her class because--as I had skipped 2.5 years of Spanish and B I would arrive to her class about 10 minutes late every day because I was taking AP French at another school subsequently I was determined to work very hard to impress this teacher and get on her good side the first assignment was to prepare a speech to be read in front of the class describing our first experience driving with our parents I intended to start with the following lap Romero vest kentucky ER estaba muy nerviosa pork knee Madre Greta pork ala Taniya Mito the first time I drove I was really nervous because my mom was screaming because she was afraid instead i over conjugated and began my speech with this lap romero vest kentucky ER estaba muy nerviosa pork knee Madre Greta pork a lot any emitter the first time I drove I was really nervous because my mom was screaming because she took a crap I scream when I take a crap - technically not a first day but a few weeks back one of the stores I'm a casual at got a new manager however seeing as I only worked weekends I never actually met him one weekend I got a phone call to the other person I work with on the Saturday had called in sick and at the new part-timer for during the week would fill in anyway when I got to work I said hi to the new part-timer dude I didn't know him either and he didn't respond a bit later in the day though I went up and asked him what he thought of the manager because I had heard that he was a bit of a dog turns out the part-timer had also called in sick and I was talking to the manager he laughed and said who do you think I am to this day he hasn't let me forget about it and now most of the managers at other stores laugh about it too glad they have a sense of humor and I still have a job so he wasn't a dong not me but my roommates girlfriend had an awesome story about working at Fuddruckers she had been working there a few weeks first time she answered the phone she picks it up and goes hi this is rad [ __ ] how can I help you her boss just calmly told her to put the phone down and I laughed for a good five minutes that is exactly why I hate the name Fuddruckers I got an embarrassing one I moved from California to Northern Virginia as a junior in high school so I knew no one in my new school anyway first day of school I had to take the bus and I am not sure why I thought school here in VA started later than back in California so I woke up and was at the bus stop around 8 a.m. I've seen a lot of kids and they looked smaller than me I just figured kids my age stop taking the bus so we drive around collecting more kids it finally I see my HS but we pass it at this point I am like dude what the heck then 5 minuets later I arrive at the middle school so I told the driver she kinda smile and gave me a personal very own ride of the bus to the front doors of my HS and I missed homeroom and second-period : it's not really Africa more of a hazing my first day as a grocery bagger when I was 16 a guide told me I had to shake up all the salad dressings or they would go stagnant so I guess someone was supposed to tell me after 20 minutes or so except they forgot about me and I stood there shaking every salad dressing until my shift was over three hours later this is hilarious my first day as an a/c camera assistant on a film set I picked up a Pelican case full of prime lenses without checking to see if it was latched closed about 50k worth of lenses spilled out onto the sidewalk luckily for me none were damaged whoever leaves a Pelican case with 50k worth of fragile equipment unlatched should be spanked first day at work in a pretty general IT job bit of tech programming sysadmin stuff and the night before I didn't get much sleep because I was pretty nervous about it all the office that I was working in was fairly small and the company was having an activity there with a few important people including the managing director anyway because stuff was going on they didn't have much time to show me the ropes and go through all the induction crap so they left me to read some company documents in my office at some stage I must have fallen asleep while reading this oh so exciting stuff and I wake up to the sound of the door to my office closing apparently I was snoring a bit too loudly in the managing director had to come and close the door luckily he was pretty cool about it all and was actually apologizing to me for not having anything for me to really do on my first day don't worry I fall asleep at meetings where the company's president is sitting directly across from me I feel your pain forgot that I was growing a protest beard I was in the middle of a slump don't judge me didn't shave before my first day came in looking like a homeless dude in a shirt plus tie it didn't help that one of my name's is Mohammed of course they took my photo with that day and I take great care to face it the wrong way when I wear it not just first day on the job first our boss is giving me the overview when I start to feel a pretty strong need to take a dump so I politely interrupt my boss and say famous last words I'll be right back so I go into the bathroom do my business wipe and flush next thing I know the toilet is not only stuffed but overflowing all over the floor oMG WTF do I do I can't just leave it there so I come out of the bathroom and sheepishly fess up to my boss he has to call some people over to help out a few minutes later I see the CTO founder come over with a mop and bucket can you say mortified I don't think I've ever be more embarrassed in my life oh yeah and later on after the cleanup I find out that that was the toilet with the week flush which everyone who worked there apparently knew about but me it's funny now but definitely wasn't back then definitely not as good as most of these but while I was at college I got a job as an intern at a company about an hour away from where I was living at the time the plan was to commute but luckily my parents only lived about 25 minutes from my new job so I figured I'd stay with my parents the night before so I would have a shorter drive to work on my first day for whatever reason I left my work clothes on hangers on the doorknob and my mom's cat pee on them or sprayed or whatever male cats do I was in such a rush to get ready the next morning that I didn't notice the smell until after I had gotten to work not first day but I was working in a lab over the summer and managed to leave a container filling from the distilled water dispenser overnight I came back the next day to find the entire floor flooded and in an open-plan lab that's a lot with the machine needing new and an expensive filters took all day but at least I cleaned it up not really my Frigga but I was involved got a new job as an industrial engineering intern at a plant in this plant one of the functions of my department was over to oversee safety on my first day when we went around and shook everyone's hand and said hello this lady we will call her Sheila was sick Sheila is the middle manager under our department that deals with the boring day-to-day details and communicates with the floor workers so in about a year's time I on this lady's boss my boss decided that the best way for me to understand how the plant worked was for me to spend a week as a floor worker on each machine so the next few days I came to work dressed as a floor worker doing floor work while I'm machining away a few days later with the team leader on the floor when Shelia calls the weekly safety briefing I tell the team leader that I'm going with him because it would be good for me to sit in on so I go in and sit down and Shelia is leading the meeting at this point she still doesn't know me and has every reason to assume I am a new trainee floor worker Shelia comes behind me and puts her hands on my shoulders and nicely tells me I should go do some work it doesn't occur to me at this point she doesn't know who I am and I think she's just joking so I say how her okay and just sit there she goes and shuffles some papers around or something and gets ready to start she looks up and I'm still sitting there chillin talking to the team leader she points me out and starts yelling you what are you still doing here I thought i tol D you to get back to work you can just come in here and slack off at this point I interjected I think sitting in on this meeting will help me better understand and do my job hello hello your job is to go out there and work on the machine we will tell you if there is something else you need to know there's a bit more and I'm just sitting there like WTF and no one else is stopping her so not wanting to get into a yelling match on my third day I just leave to go ask my boss WTF I wasn't out of the room a minute when the PA comes on and I hear in her voice super sweet with the new engineer please return to the safety room please apparently they asked her why she kicked out the new engineering intern and she flipped out ever since then she was sooo would have Hooper nice to me and we always had a funny story to tell still kind of irks me that that is the way they treat the floor workers though TL DR I was a new engineer at a plant and a lady under me yelled at me and kicked me out of a meeting because she thought I was a floor worker WTF I was an engineer in a plant for five years and now I'm a manager and if a floor worker operator wanted to sit in on a safety meeting I think I would jump for joy that woman should be fired story from a friend my buddy just got a job at an airport fire station at a decent-sized city during his first day in the phone room the special alert went off in the control tower started updating him on the situation a special alert is what happens when an airplane is trying to land while on fire a regular alert is when some fat tourists heart finally goes out so friend X is a little nervous and doesn't want to screw up everyone else is out on the runway waiting for this flaming plane to land friend x jumps the gun and calls city Zed for backup city's edge never receives calls for backup from the airport so they scramble 15 fire station with two trucks per station city Zed is expecting a major bloodbath so the ATC locks down the area the road gets backed up with about one stroke two mile off fire trucks outside the gate a jet comes roaring in an emergency landing after making a sharp 90-degree left bank he said the jet looked like a fighter jet when it turned on its side and landed he didn't know they could do that it turns out that the generator in the rear of the plane had overheated and warned that it may be on fire it was perfectly fine friend X had to explain the thirty-plus fire trucks outside that had loaded foam and other stuff and were now trying to figure out why they were called for nothing he didn't get fired but never lived it down not a first day frigate but one of my favorite I got screwed work stories I interviewed for a job as store manager for a new comic book store for mile high comics they weren't looking for a lot of experience they were going to give a month's training in the warehouse front and back office and another store before they opened the new store well they said out of all the candidates me and another guy gave the best interviews and we liked both of you so congratulations we've decided to hire both of you to co-manager the new store awesome so we spend the next month training in the warehouse during the last week I'm there me and a bunch of other workers are filling new comic book subscription orders basically you go up and down a shelf with stacks of each comic book grab what you need and then fill the order speed and accuracy are essential you want to grab the comics as quickly as possible but you don't want to make any mistakes eventually you start to recognize comics simply by the cover art well whenever you empty a stack you have to pull out a new stack of comics from the shipping box and put them on the shelf problem was one of the guys I was pulling comics with kept putting the stack and upside down you can't recognize the cover upside down usually a lot of white space and you can't read the title to confirm the selection so I was wasting a bunch of time flipping the comic books back over eventually when the guy comes past me I say hey if you put them in right side up this will go faster see and I show him he seems to get it well not five minutes later he goes in and puts another stack and upside down and while I don't yell or anything I do call him out him front of everyone hey I just showed you you should put them in right side up you just put them in upside down again well the guy gets all annoyed that I would dare tell him how to do his job better and go storming off so last day of training each of us get called into the CEOs office surprised they were never going to hire both of us they simply couldn't decide so they decided to secretly test his for a month and then whoever they liked better at the end they'd hire because of the incident they were concerned I didn't work well with others even though the new store manager job was now solitary and so I got the shaft I felt pretty crappy not only for being lied to for a month but also missing my chance because I was actually helping a co-worker do a better job for the company as a guy who is super analytical about stuff like that I empathize with the pain of that injustice first day of work in Japan I'm an American who interned there for six months and I didn't know a single word of Japanese the other intern and I were talking about South Park which led to talking about the Chinpokomon episode I decided to Wikipedia that episode since I didn't have anything to do yet and the headline read something like you sick American don't look at this and upon further reading found it wasn't even aired in Japan because it's so controversial but we are talking about the episode casually referencing the name Chinpokomon I started to notice that other employees were looking at me and discussed so I figured we were doing something wrong I walked to the desk of a Japanese co-worker who was pretty cool with us already to which he said that we were casually yelling little dong monster in the middle of the office first day of my first job I go to the orientation at a different building get my badge and my parking decal and am sent on my way it's a little tiny decal so I get in the parking garage and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to put it on my front window or on my window so I start looking at other cars to see where they have it placed well some had it in front some in back and many didn't have one at all so I'm just staring at these cars scratching my head eventually I go upstairs and walk by the main security desk and hear him talking into a walkie-talkie we've got reports of a guy in a green shirt casing vehicles on the third floor I look down yup green shirt it's so I turn myself in thinking I'll I just explained the situation only to get taken to the Security office for about twenty minutes while they call my brand new boss and confirmed that I was invited here and am NOT a car thief good first impression not mine but a former housemate he was always late for work anyway and so even on his first day he left the house late and not wanting to make a bad impression he decided to jog to work however when he arrived in motion to take his jacket off he realized that as he was wearing a light blue cotton shirt there were two obvious damp patches under each arm pit along with a massive damp splat of sweat on his back I should also mention that he was not one of the most hygienic members of society either whilst being shown round his new place of work he opted to keep his jacket on but eventually realized that he was gonna have to do something and was forced to me Ashley explained to his new boss and he was drenched in sweat and asked permission to pop to a nearby shop and buy a new shirt and some deodorant which his boss thankfully allowed thus he was forever known as sweaty Dave first night as a waiter in training I was staging some drink glasses and lost grip on one side of the carrier lost the whole tray full of 16 pint glasses not pretty I got the mandatory customers applause to first day of my new Catholic high school is a grade 11 transfer student I was the only one who didn't know that uniforms were excused on the first day of class wanna feel like a dork all day try wearing a kilt and sweater while everyone else's in jeans and tees had to poop bad before an interview but had no time figured I couldn't clog the drain after the interview the interviewer asked me to start immediately as in today for this contract to hire program Enid position no problem I really didn't want to poop in the bathroom because it is about four feet by three feet wide with nowhere for the smell to go except out into the hallway a few hours in and I'm doing the chair squirm you know the one where you constantly adjust your position to ease the pressure on the stomach suddenly I feel all heck breaking loose down there and I given and head into the bathroom I tell you the very floor quaked when I flushed this monster down I sprayed liberally with the air freshener and as I'm doing so I see an air vent right above the toilet but don't think much of it half an hour later the woman in the room next to the bathroom is complaining about smelling something moldy something she's never smelled before in the office she starts calling other people into her office to see what they think it is and they all agree it smells moldy she opens the windows to let the smell out even though it's 40 degrees out and announces to everybody she will be leaving the windows open overnight to let the place air out apparently the vent dump the air from the bathroom into her office at the time I felt like they had to know it was me who did it and I felt like they were making such a big deal about it to get me to confess here's another one on my first day as an assistant manager at a supermarket we were majorly short-staffed and I ended up having to collect carts at the end of the night I pushed a shopping caught through a massive $5,000 window and the manager had to come and stay at the store overnight to make sure nobody came in through the window and robbed the place they did not ask me back when applying to colleges one of the schools I applied to was Yale I got an interview and after having driven to the interview I lock my keys in my car I had to borrow the interviewers phone to call my dad 60 minutes away - come bring me a spare I didn't get in first day at a new job I have to take the bus which connect to a train to get to work it was the first day for the driver - when I got on the bus I asked him will this take me to Appleby station and he has to check with the guy behind him so because it's his first day and he's being watched and he doesn't know the route he's driving slower than he should be we arrived at the train station just in time to see the train pulling away also I hadn't yet caught my new works phone number into my cell phone so I had no way to contact them I ended up being 45 minutes late on my first day if this is the Apple bigos station in Ontario then I can vouch for the fact that even if your bus driver wasn't new there's a 50 stroke 50 chance that he would have been late anyway Burlington transit like Oakville transit is to put it bluntly balls not mine but an awesome guide from South Africa this guy was brand new as a waiter in a top-notch hotel in Joburg and was surprised he got the job as he's generally an outdoorsy looking guy that can be a bit clumsy but get the job he did and it had the potential to earn tons of cash through tips as the food was very expensive this elderly couple is his first table he gets there and they immediately order a wine that costs over $1000 he immediately becomes very nervous at the prospect of this and goes and gets the bottle as he's talking about the wine all Bulls I remember him saying his hands were sweaty from holding the bottle he accidentally paused to harden to keep it from overfilling he jerks the bottle away and it flies out of his hands and smashes on the floor everyone stops and looks at him he's embarrassed as heck the couple were understanding enough though and asked for another bottle he's super nervous now and goes back to ask for another bottle in the wine cellar guys like no way you just dropped such an expensive bottle but he's talked into providing our hero with another bottle also he goes back and trying to be very careful and deliberate he manages to pour one glass fine and as he's pouring the second bottle it slips from his now very sweaty hands in a last-ditch effort to try and stop the bottle from hitting the floor he lifts up his foot to try and save the bottle overcompensates and basically dropkicks a thousand plus dollar bottle of wine across a super nice restaurant it shatters against the wall and everyone had still been watching him he takes off his apron apologizes to the elderly couple and walked out TLDR south african guy drops a thousand-dollar bottle of wine gets another and dropkicks that one out of nervousness before just leaving his brand-new job if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] by for Nana

Channel: Internet Is Fun

Views: 10,925

Rating: 4.9354839 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to, first date, first day, first time, worst moments, worst stories

Id: 43lnvFGGvAQ

Length: 31min 35sec (1895 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 16 2020