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stories. Okay storytime... Has someone ever challenged you to something
that they didn't know you were an expert at? If so how did it turn out for you/them? I’m really good at archery. My friend and I rented him a bow at the local
range and he wanted to bet me beers for every round. I told him repeatedly no, you will not win. He could probably get lucky if we did one
arrow shoot offs but he wanted to do proper three arrow rounds.He insisted. I drank for free all night. A neighbor on my block in Brooklyn challenged
me to a pizza bake-off. I recently catered pizza for my daughters
school and word got around the neighborhood my pizza was pretty darn good. My first thought was, "this guy is a Brooklyn
native, my pizza will be sheete compared to his!" But there was something about him bragging
that I couldn't resist the challenge. He talked up how pizza was in his blood, how
his dad ran the pizza place around the corner years ago. I remained silent and let my skills answer
for themselves. I got a buddy to let us use one of Baker's
Pride ovens at his restaurant. We even had total strangers try our pizzas. Every last person chose my pizza over his. I never mentioned to him that I've worked
in pizza places almost every day for the last thirty years. I never mentioned that when I'm not working
at a pizza place I'm making pizzas at home at least once every two days. I never mentioned that at nine years old I
knew that I wanted to be a pizza man. Here I am 45 and getting ready to start my
own pizza business. Wasn’t me, but there’s a story about an
old geotechnical engineer who used to work for the company I work for.Several senior
staff had to attend a meeting with the client, and some government regulatory staff who were
being awkward and not approving the design.This geotech guy is pretty much quiet the whole
meeting. Throughout the discussion,the government guy
keeps referencing this research document and shooting down anything anybody suggests.Near
the end of the meeting geotech asks government guy if he has the research paper with him. He responds yes and places it on the table.Geotech
asks government guy who is the author of the paper? Then slides over a business card. Turns out it’s geotechs own paper that government
guy has been referencing to defend his argument.Government guy went bright red and apparently approved
the design the same day. Some Japanese client that studied in France
asked me for a translation job but wanted to change all my sentences to prove she was
better than me at my own mother tongue. She ended up writing something grammatically
correct but that sounded so horribly sixual that if you tried and googled the terms you
would only find corn and erotic novels. I had to tell my boss she was forcing me to
write corn (because it was for a mascara brand that was supposed to be sold in France) so
he could stop her and after that she stopped trying to best me. My landlord tried blaming me for damage to
the Kitchen cabinets but didn't know that I'm in construction and am very familiar with
home building codes.They placed the cabinets too close to the stove and the glue that held
the laminate had melted. A local mall had a portable climbing wall
with a “make it to the top and win $100” side. The route was actually pretty challenging. As I walked by the guy asked me if I’d like
to try “nobody has made it to the top, you think you can do it buddy” At the time I was ranked top 12 climber in
my age group and kind of laughed to myself.After taking my $100 I then proceeded to call the
rest of my climbing team and one by one they went to the mall and claimed their $100 After the 4th person they guy got suspicious
and took the sign down. We later told him we were all Nationally ranked
competition climbers and he got a good laugh. The company who owned the rentals was the
one who lost the money, he just worked the booth and wasn’t the one who lost the prize
money. When working as a teacher I beat a lot of
students in Pokémon battles, cause they didn't think of me being like 15 years ahead of them
in fighting experience. Noobs. I was a competitive swimmer for 14 years,
including 4 years of NCAA, but I'm on the shorter side so people don't assume I was
any good.Was at a friends house on a lake one summer, and a macho guy challenged me
to race to a buoy in the middle of the lake, to prove... something, I guess. The lake is deceptively large, about a half
mile across, so I warned him that if he isn't a strong swimmer it could be dangerous.He
was running out of gas after about 2 minutes, so I offered to let him off the hook, but
he insisted he would finish. I went to the buoy and was swimming back when
I found him floundering, so I lifeguard swam him back to the house. His ego took a deserved hit that day.Don't
get cucky around water, even if you think you're a strong swimmer.Edit: thanks a ton
for the W and the votes, but I want to emphasize here how quickly this kind of thing can turn
dangerous. I was a lifeguard at the time, and there was
another lifeguard present, but even so this was a dumb idea. DON'T DO DUMB STUFF IN WATER. A tinder date bet me dinner that I couldn't
beat her in smash. I've been playing competitively for around
6 years, so she ended up paying for dinner. My wife and I were taking an evening cruise
for adults in Portsmouth Bay. The ship drove around the shipyard, where
my submarine and several others were stationed. My wife and I are having a quiet drink when
a really loud know it all starts spouting misinformation about each submarine we are
driving by. Calling them all the wrong class, wrong names,
etcetera When he literally points to my submarine and
says "and that is a 637 class" my wife finally speaks up and says "actually that is a 688
inches . The guy gets all gruff and says "well how would you know?". My wife smiles, hugs my arm and says sweetly
"That's my husbands submarine, it is the Minneapolis St Paul, SNN-708." He turned beat red while his date laughed. Not me but my brother & best friend. We were in Baltimore for a baseball weekend
in 2009 and hanging out at a bar across from Camden yards. They had a Silver Strike bowling video game. At our local bar back in Boston we had one
as well. I’m decent at the game but my brother and
buddy were ducking amazing at this game. Bowling 300 games and what not. So two dudes are playing this game and drinking. We ask them if we can play when they’re
done. They ask if we want to play them. We said sure. My brother andbuddy destroy these guys. Like it wasn’t even close. These dudes said it was a fluke and they wanted
a rematch but this time for a round of beers. Again, annihilation city. But they kept wanting to play, to eventually
win a game. No lie, after THIRTEEN ROUNDS OF BEERS they
finally gave up. They were great guys. We saw them the next day at the same bar and
they walked up to Us with beers in hand already and said “rematch”. To this day we still hang out with them whenever
we go to Baltimore. And to this day, they have never won.Edit
for details: the guys were buying 2 beers each time they lost a game to the two guys
they lost to, for my brother and friend. The beers were Natty Boh, which is Baltimore's
cheap gross awesome beer. I can’t remember the price, but they were
under 2 bucks a piece back then. They would buy the beers and they’d just
start piling up on the table next to the machine so we were all just drinking them. I’d say around 25-30 beers between the 5
of us in 4 or 5 hours. Tab was probably 60ish bucks for beers but
we were there all night getting wings and a million apps so we all just paid the tab
anyways. I’m not a great swimmer but there was a
time when I would do laps for literally hours. I would go slowly to make sure that I had
the energy to do the time I wanted to. This kid challenged me to race. I left him so far behind it was funny. He though he was about to humiliate me in
front of his friends. My nephew challenged me to Super Smash Bros
Ultimate once. Once. Co worker - “I’m pretty good at running,
I run every day. I could probably beat you in a marathon.” They didn’t know I used to be a pro runner. Ran under 14 minutes in the 5k, sub 29 in
the 10k, and under 15 hours for 100 miles on trails. Won a national title even.So I agreed to run
with them and jumped in the local marathon with no training. I took the prize purse and made myself a few
hundred bucks and took everyone out for beers with it. Was an interesting next Monday at work. Still waiting to say the words I've been preparing
for all my life:"YOU want to play Dr Mario with ME? You absolute fool." I’m a teacher so people try to tell me how
to do my job all the time (parents, kids, politicians, etcetera). How’d it turn out? Welcome to my world, duckers. Home schooling is a itch, isn’t it? Your kids are kind of horrible, aren’t they? Lessons aren’t that easy to plan, are they?Meanwhile,
I’m drinking a beer at 10am while grading the assignments I posted last week.EDIT: .Cleaning some things up:I’m not actually
drinking a beer at 10am...that’s clearly for this afternoon (it is Dyngus Day!) Parents, this was meant to be satirical: please
do not think for a second that we as teachers do not appreciate and sympathize with you
all during this ordeal, especially those whom are working still! Just graduated as a teacher and I’ve been
working as a Casual Relief Teacher. I play lacrosse which is a small sport already
and even smaller here in Australia. I tried out for the last World Cup team and
made it to the final cut.I was team teaching with another teacher who worked at the school. Before the period he spoke to me and said
“hey mate, we are doing lacrosse today. It’s a bit of an odd sport and hard to teach
so just wait over there and then you can just help with supervision and discipline.” then walked off.Being a CRT from an agency,
didn’t really know how to speak to him/speak up. I tried to speak to him and say that I played
but he didn’t give me a second soI just listened and did my thing. Few minutes into the start of the lesson I
grabbed a stick and ball and just started to work my around the class giving them pointers
and hints.The way he was teaching was completely incorrect and I didn’t want to say anything
so when the kids broke off into groups, I kinda just taught them correctly.He pulled
me over at a drinks break and asked how I knew so much/good perform the skills. I told him how I play lacrosse and my playing
history. He asked why I didn’t speak up and say anything
and I said I tried to tell him.Anyway, I ended up running the rest of the class and even
ended up sitting down with him and going through the correct and easier way to teach the game
and skills. Went with a big group of college students
to a bar. I was challenged by a cute little girl (and
by that I mean she was maybe 95lbs, 4 feet 11 inches ) to a drink contest with a pint
of beer. I'm 6 feet 1 inch , 200lbs, so I just chuckled
and agreed to it.It seems like I had just enough time to tilt my head back to start
chugging when I hear her empty glass hit the table. Turns out she had the ability to just open
her throat and pour the beer down.We dated for about six months after that. Seriously. Everyone thinks they are amazing at Mario
Kart. They used to be good as a kid and think they
still are.I played 2-4 hours everyday in undergrad (a couple years ago). I raced in local and school tournaments and
won most of the time. I was within seconds on several course records. I have every course memorized and know exactly
when to brake on every turn.I don’t play much anymore, but anytime somebody sees my
Mario Kart painting (I won it at a local tournament), they tell me how amazing they are. I’m happy to absolutely destroy them. It’s an otherwise useless skill.Edit to
answer questions: My best game is Mario Kart 8 (and Deluxe since it’s basically the same). I like tothink I’d be good at Double Dash
and MK7 since that’s what I played as a kid, but I doubt I actually am.If you think
you can beat me on MK64, you’re right. I got humbled at a New Years party when I
assumed my skills would translate and I finished dead last. Mario Kart is honestly not super high skill,
just memorization and optimization.And yes, you need to brake on most courses at 200cc. I promise y’all can’t beat me on Deluxe I can’t find the painting online and I don’t
have it in this apartment. It’s just Luigi on Cheep Cheep Beach and
its off something like Etsy I think? I got to pick it after I won.I almost always
use Donkey Kong on a bike. And my best course is Toad Harbor, that’s
where I was closest to beating the record. Chess. I'm a Chess master. I think when people hear that they're like
'oh he's really good at chess', but what it means is that I've played in international
tournaments and beaten other masters and some governing body has given me a title.Anyway,
I get challenged a lot by friends who think they're pretty good. What they don't realize is that your average
'pretty good' player is getting destroyed by your average tournament player. And your average tournament player is getting
destroyed by a master. Someone at a bar bet me there were only 30
days in a particular month. $20 if I could prove them wrong right then
(pre-cellphone days). I was born on the 31st of that month, showed
them my drivers license...edit: The person was drunk. And maybe not the brightest. edit: My driver's license wasn’t fake. My birthday is definitely in either Jan, Mar,
May, July, Aug, Oct, or Dec My Uncle challenged Jack Nicklaus to a golf
game in college, without a clue. The humiliation burns him to this day. I was visiting Kyoto a couple years ago (I’m
an American) and my wife and I walked into a tiny bar which had 5 people in suits laughing
and talking in Japanese. We instantly knew that this was not a tourist
bar and felt pretty out of place. The bartender spoke the most english so I
asked him what his favorite Shochu was, and things got a little more comfortable as we
drank and the whole bar tried to talk to us.Someone mentioned Mario Kart and I said “yeah yeah”
- so the bartender points to an old super famicom in the corner and apparently I have
accepted the challenge.I smiled to myself and my wife thinks it’s funny because I
used to have some skill at this game. Bartender selects battle mode and... the guy
is ducking phenomenal. Ihaven’t played in a few years and he buries
me in less than a minute. The whole bar is laughing and I’m a little
stunned. We’re on to the 2nd of 3 rounds.I destroy
him. 3 balloons to 0. Everyone cheers except the bartender. 2 shots were put in front of me and I throw
one down.Round 3. We’re down to one balloon each and I swear
it’s the longest battle round of all time. I’m sweating. Shell, dodge, shell, dodge. I have him in my sights and I fire.I miss
- the shell bounces off the wall and I self-KO. The crowd goes wild.So that’s the story
of how a self-proclaimed Mario Kart expert embarrassed himself and his country in a small
bar in Kyoto. We drank a lot and made a lot of great friends
that night that we’ll never see again... Guitar Hero. That poor bastard didn't know what he was
getting into. He suggested we play and was making joking
comments about how he could totally beat me. We played on expert and I absolutely demolished
him. My man was even struggling to hit the orange
notes shake my head. Not me but a while back a guy I knew from
church growing up posted on facebook something about Crusades and medieval Christianity. A girl responded and gave x, y, z reasons
why he was wrong. The guy responded back with you don't know
what you are talking about, you need to do your research and linked couple of youtube
links of armchair historians/pastors. She hits him back with a dozen or so academic
sources and let him know that she was 3 years in a PhD program studying medieval history. Not a physical challenge but I sell building
materials for a living (think Home Depot but for guys that build skyscrapers and stadiums). There has been many occasions where an old
man with zero construction knowledge tries to lecture me on what I do for a living. My office announced a laser tag team building
event, two weeks after I played in the laser tag (Ultrazone) national championships. Which were an actual thing in 1997.Edit: Sigh...
no, this is not a HIMYM reference, which I have to specify every ducking time I talk
about it. While not a pro, I'm pretty darn good at poker. The church I was at had a Poker night and
I was just going to watch. They insisted I join the 25 cent game.Came
home with $200 and they decided to never have a poker night again. My dad was into video games before they were
really a thing.He had a Magnavox Odessey, intellivision, etcetera..In the 80s you could
rent Nintendo's and games from video stores. He would do this when he visited and I would
almost always smoke him at whatever game.I didn't see him that much, but he was visiting
and decided to rent one and the game DoubleDribble (old NES basketball game). It was pretty new at the time and he knew
I didn't really like basketball.He played it all day while I was in school and when
I got home he challenged me to a game.The look on his face when his 10 year old son
beat him by 20 points or so was priceless.My friends and I basically rented every game
when it came out and I had played this one a lot.I mean, it's sports but it is still
a video game. I was good at games.Karma time is now my teenagers
can regularly beat me at just about anything. I had a mate that would play Call Of Duty
with me & I'd usually beat him in a 1v1 but he occasionally would maybe win or at least
get close, but then we played a different game. Motorstorm Apocalypse. I was a legitimate top 10 player on that game
with multiple number1 time attack times etcetera and he had just started playing through the
offline mode and was winning the races so he thought he was good, I warned him but he
insisted on a 1v1 to show off his skills.2 minutes later & I've lapped him on a 3 lap
race and he's quit the race before he's finished due to the embarrassment of not being able
to finish because there's a 1 minute timer on the end of the race where anyone that hasn't
finished doesn't get to finish.He never played that game again. Shotgumning beers. He lost and wanted a second go. Then proceeded to fall down after second round
loss.
