How can I forgive myself and others? | Thich Nhat Hanh answers questions

uh we read from one written question the the areas of the past of course a lot of suffering and are very difficult to liberate my errors i've created in the past quite a heavy burden how can i forgive myself for this pain that i caused and how to be sure that i have forgiven others what can i do if i offer forgiveness and reconciliation again and again to others but the other ones other people don't respond positively and to keep the door closed this is a very good question uh first of all you can learn everyone can learn from the from from their own mistakes and skillfulness and all of us are unskillful at times even the buddha as a teacher he was unskillful at times and he learned from his unskillfulness so first of all we we should we should remain remember that we are a human being and we can be unskillful at times and then the practice of mindfulness can always transform even transform the past you think the path is already gone and you can not do anything concerning the past but that is not true you can change the past because the past is still there in in the present the wound of the past is still there in the present moment and you can touch it suppose in the past you have said something unkind to your grandma and now you regret and your grandma is no longer there for you to say sorry and you have that complex of youth following you all the time but according to this practice you can do something you breathe in and out mindfully and you recognize that your grandma is still alive in every cell of your body you continue your grandma that is the truth the genes of your grandma are in you your grandma has not really died she continues in so having seen your grandma in in you you begin to say grandma i am i was not skillful i promise you that from now on i will never say something like like that again and if you are sincere mindful determined and then you can see your grandma and you smiling and you are healed you are healed so you can transform the past you make an aspiration a strong aspiration that from now on you will not say things like that anymore you will not do things like that anymore and that is a powerful energy that can transform even the past and you feel lighter later during the vietnam war there was a american soldier who killed five children in vietnam his unit was destroyed by the guerrillas so he was very angry and he came back to that village looking the way to retaliate so he brought with him a bag of sandwich and he put explosive in a sandwich and he left on the gate of the village and he hide himself and he saw five children coming out coming out and enjoy eating the sandwiches after that the children showed a sign of sickness and they cry they yell and their mothers came out and tried to help but the soldier knew that nothing can be done because the village is so far from a city and he saw the 509 in the arms of their mothers and the soldier survived the war and went back to america and he couldn't no longer sleep every time he found himself with a few children in the same room he could not stand it he had to run out of the room and he could not share the story with anyone until one day we offer a retreat for war veterans in california and he came and after four days of practices he got enough trust and during the sharing he told us the story trying a lot and i was in a group and i promised to give him a consultation and i told him daniel you have killed five children that is the truth and you suffer but now there are other children who are dying in africa asia many countries and even in america children are dying they are poor people there are people there are children who only need one public medicine in order for their life to be saved thousands thousands of children like that are dying over the world and if you make the aspiration to go to them and then every day you can save five children you don't have to to lie down in the corner of the past and suffer like that if in the past you have p5 and today you can save five and if you can save five to date five tomorrow and then you can see the five you guilt begin to smile in you and you are healed so he follow that instructions and i can saw the transformation and healing taking place right during that time he listened to the advice because during the time he listened to me he made that vow i will go out and try to save children i am young enough to do the work and that tremendous amount of energy given him by the aspiration begins to heal him right away and after that he practiced helping children in the world to survive and he was healed he married a dentist in england and led a normal life and this is a real story so the fact is that you are you you can liberate yourself from the past from the prison of the past you can make a strong determination strong aspiration to go and help help the people who are abused have the people who are victims of sexual abuse and so on and then you can heal yourself that is the power of aspiration the fourth nutrimental volition and if you have transformation and healing in you you become a pleasant person you are full of compassion understanding and your your presence is a very very fresh very pleasant for other people if you propose to him or to her the practice of reconciliation and if the other person refused to do because you are not fresh enough you have not healed yourself enough you have to to show yourself as someone who who has a transform who has healed himself or herself and the healing in you will help start the healing in the other person there are many ways you can write him or her a letter of love you can ask a friend to talk to him or to her on your behalf there are many ways to do it and if you are already you have already reconciled with yourself renew yourself become a new person and then transforming him reconciling with him become much easier if you find it still difficult to to invite that the other person to reconcile because you have not started the process of reconciliation from within if you have and then you have heal yourself and then it would be much easier to to help him to reconcile with himself and with you you

Channel: Plum Village

Views: 210,576

Keywords: Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh, mindfulness, zen, Thay, meditation, forgiveness

Id: 0CM9F1mdfcc

Length: 13min 6sec (786 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 08 2021