Nice to meet you. It is so nice to
finally meet you. Yeah, this is great. And you're here in person and
I appreciate that very much. Absolutely, are you kidding? I'd go anywhere to sit with you. Oh, thanks so much. Really. All right so for
those of you out there watching that don't know you,
tell everybody what you do. I'm a writer. I wrote a book called
Untamed, and I'm an activist. I run a nonprofit that helps
hurting kids and women. And I started writing when
I was trying to stay sober. So I got sober when I was 25. And I found myself in
those recovery meetings and felt like I was meeting the
first honest people I've ever met in my life. And that is what I needed
is to hear the truth and tell the truth. And then I started having
babies and I found myself just dripping with babies. And I couldn't get
to the meetings and I started to panic. And one day my sister showed
up at my door with a computer. And she said, I want you
to start writing each day. And I want you to use the voice
that you use in those meetings. And so I started writing
and the first time I saw those letters on
a blank sheet of paper I felt, oh, there
she is, there I am. And I use writing as a way
to just tell the truth. And it helps me stay
sober for 20 years. Yeah, congratulations. [APPLAUSE] You started drinking at 10? Well, yeah it was a tough life. No, but I actually did
become bulimic when I was 10. So my addiction started
very, very early and just morphed into
everything else as addiction does when you don't
get it healed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, so you're
married, you have babies. I do. And still do. But you were married
to a man, had babies. Then you meet Abby Wambach, of
course the brilliant soccer, player, and just everything
changed in your life? Yeah, yeah. I was married to a man. And I was in a kind of a broken
marriage to a really good man. And that's a tricky
place to be because women are supposed to be grateful
for whatever we have, right? The first time I saw Abby I fell
completely in love with her. And I had never kissed
a girl before, right. This is like completely
wild, out of context, for me. But like so many other
parts of my life, in order to find a
relationship, and a love, and a sexuality, that
made me feel comfortable in my own skin, I just had to
go outside of what everyone's expectations of me had been. So we fell in love. We became this blended family. Craig was just
unbelievably gracious throughout the whole process. Abby always says he
gave the kids permission to love Abby which was
an unbelievable gift. And Abby became a bonus mom. And she, I don't
know, just watching her be a stepmother
to our kids, I just think that step parenting is
the most scrappy, selfless, thankless, divine love on Earth. It is something that
should be celebrated more. I just love Abby. Yeah, well, and it's apparent. I mean, you have it seems
a great relationship. I follow you on Instagram. So I watched-- Oh, you do? --her try to dance and
cheer you up the other day. Yes. And I say try to dance,
I don't mean to be-- But, I don't know
what she was doing. I don't either. It was convulsing,
a lot of convulsing. But it did make me laugh. It did cheer you up, yeah. Yes. So before you became an author
you were a elementary teacher? Yes. And what made you
change careers? Well, I don't have a very
romantic story about that. I mean I became a teacher
because it's in my blood. My parents are both
school teachers. And so I was taught
to understand that the best and the
brightest become teachers. I still feel like I'm a teacher. I just have a much
bigger circle time now. And I left because I couldn't
afford to work anymore. So when I started having babies
I had to pay more for daycare than I got paid
in the classroom. So I had to leave like
so many teachers do, which is why we should pay
teachers a hell of a lot more. We sure should. Teachers-- it's crazy we
expect them to raise our kids. I say "our" like I have kids. But, I mean, I want kids to grow
up, and be educated, and learn kindness, and learn everything
that great teachers teach them. And then we don't
pay them enough. It's ridiculous. That's right. I also love how transparent you
are about all of your struggles that you've had in the past. Or continue to have. And I think that's what
everybody responds to with your podcasts and when
you speak because you really are honest about, you
know, we all have feelings. Yeah, yeah, it's hard to
be honest about who you are and how you feel. But it's harder not to be. Yeah. Right? I mean I think that's one of the
reasons I fell into addiction. I had big feelings and I
thought I had to numb it all. I thought it wasn't OK. But the first-- in a meeting
that I went to early on, I stood up and I
said, I'm Glennon, and I have been sober for a
hot minute, and I'm miserable. And I'm afraid-- It feels like
everyone else has some secret to life that I don't
have, because it looks like it's easier
for everyone else than it feels for me. Yeah. And this woman sat next
to me and she said, so the secret to life
is not that it's hard because you're
doing it wrong, it's hard now because you're
finally doing it right. And if there's any secret to
life, it's that being human is not about feeling happy,
it's about feeling everything, right. So we just talk about,
forget feeling happy, just feel it all, and
tell the truth about it. And that is the
only thing I found that makes life any easier. Yeah, yeah, and it's
hard to feel it all. All right when we
come back, we're going to talk about
your podcast, which is doing very, very well. We'll be back. The book Untamed which
I thought I had it here, and where's the book? Can someone bring me the book? Oh, thanks. [APPLAUSE] Oh, my God. [APPLAUSE AND INTERPOSING
VOICES] Am I doing OK? Oh, that was so nice. Well, she was upset that you
were on the show before her. So I wanted her
to be on the show at the same time you
were on the show. She has feelings, she has
feelings about it, Ellen. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I wanted
her to bring the book out. OK, so Untamed is
a beautiful book. It's going to be turned
into a TV show, right? Mm hmm. That's amazing. And when and where? Soon and I don't know where. And it's very strange
because someone else is writing about me. I'm used to controlling
the narrative. So I showed the
first script to Abby and I said, this
character's all wrong, me. She's a neurotic and
dramatic and I don't even recognize this person. And Abby said, I think
that they're right. I think it's dead on. So I had to kind of just let go. Wow. Well because that
makes a great TV show. We'll see. Yeah. And so the book
inspired the podcast. And the podcast, how did
you come up with the title? And tell everybody
what it's about. So it's called, We
Can Do Hard Things. And that slogan, we can do hard
things, is how I got sober. My friend, who was a teacher,
had it in her classroom. And I used to walk
by it every day just to give myself a little
courage, I guess. And so I wrote about
it in the book. And We Can Do Hard Things during
COVID became a real rally cry. First responders were
writing it on their masks for their patients, and
teachers were writing it in chalk on the sidewalk. And so I have a dear friend
who, during COVID, started to do hard things
walks with her friends. So a group of women who had
known each other for a decade would show up on
this path and they would each bring
their hard thing, whether it was about
their family or the world, or their work. And through these
walks they started to know each other better. And my friend Allison told me
that they had become closer than they'd ever been before. And I think it's because they
finally stopped faking, right. And they finally
brought to each other the hard stuff that we were
meant to help each other carry. Yep. And I think that this
is something that we can bring post COVID, right? There are some things
that we actually learned during this time that
we want to bring with us. And that is this
thing that we can let go of some of the small
talk, and the fakeness, and just really be honest
with each other about how hard life and relationships
and all of it can be. And it's great. And each one is a
different topic. But for people-- because
I think a lot of people do struggle with anxiety. I am honest about I
struggle with anxiety. But what tips do
you have for people who struggle with anxiety? Oh gosh, well, I am a clinically
depressed, clinically anxious, motivational speaker. So first of all,
if I can be that, anyone can be anything, right? I think one thing
we can do is really there's so much stigma
around depression and anxiety but I also have found
great gifts from it. I think we can talk
about the gifts that people who are extra
sensitive bunnies bring. I mean the sensitivity that led
me to addiction and depression is the same sensitivity that
makes me a really good artist, right? And the fire-- my
therapist calls it anxiety but I call it my
fire, that makes me a little bit
sweaty and fearful also makes me a
really good activist. So I think there
are gifts from it that we should talk more about. And the little tricks that I've
learned over time with anxiety, one of the things is when I get
really anxious it's because I'm future tripping in my mind. I'm scared of everything, that
what if, what if, what if. Or I'm obsessing about the past. And so one of the things I
do is to locate and listen. So I learned that very
early on as a kid. And the first thing I do
is try to find something that I can touch because
that grounds me, or something that I can hear because
that grounds me. So that brings me out of the
what if and into the what is. And what I've learned
is that if I come back to the what is and the
right now, I'm always OK. 100% of the time I've
been OK in the what is. And so if I can get myself
back to this moment, I can remember
that I've survived every moment before now. And one thing at a time, I'll
survive every moment to come. And so that's how I
make it through the day. Well I recommend
you read untamed because it's a beautiful book. And you can listen to
Glennon's new podcast. It's called We
Can Do Hard things on all podcast platforms.
