MATT: Hello everyone,
and welcome to tonight's episode
of Critical Role, where a bunch of us
nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play
Dungeons & Dragons. ALL: (jumbled) We play
Dungeons & Dragons. LIAM: When you inherit a mic, I'll tell you about it.
LAURA: Agitate. MATT: Yeah. (laughs) Before we jump into
our episode tonight, we do have some announcements
to get through, beginning with our sponsor
tonight, The Void. Thank you for being there
in the late nights while I'm trying to sleep. That's all. (laughter)
(clapping) MATT: Marisha, Sam, you got
an announcement to make? SAM: Yes, we do.
TRAVIS: Oh. MARISHA: The first three
episodes of Midst-- TRAVIS: Midst.
MARISHA: -- are out now! MATT and LAURA: Woo! MARISHA: Wherever you
get your podcasts. TRAVIS: Yeah, baby!
MARISHA: You can also get Midst. SAM: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Midst! SAM: We hope you have
been enjoying this incredible storytelling
in this ongoing, fourth wall-breaking,
reality-bending, science fantasy, space
western audio series filled with
unreliable narrators and performed for the enjoyment
of your mind's eyes and your head's ears. TRAVIS: Wow, wow.
MARISHA: (laughs) It's really cool.
Go listen. (laughter) SAM: If you're
itching for more, paid subscribers can enjoy
the first five episodes on midst.co.
TRAVIS: .Co. MARISHA: You can also
get to check out all of the cool artifacts, the appendices and the artwork
that relates to each episode for an even deeper look at
this otherworldly frontier. SAM: New episodes are available
every Wednesday. If you've listened--
LAURA: (gravelly) Every Wednesday. MATT: (extremely gravelly) Every Wednesday.
SAM: Congratulations. If you haven't,
go check it out. MARISHA: Go check it out.
SAM: Yay! MATT: (laughs)
MARISHA: Midst. TRAVIS: Midst.
MATT: (gravelly) Wednesday! MARISHA: (laughs) SAM: It's the Midstle
of the week. TRAVIS: (groans) Midstle.
MATT: Oh, you ruined it. You ruined it.
LAURA: I hate it. MATT: Marisha.
(laughter) MARISHA: You guys, I can't
believe it's here. SAM and TRAVIS: (gasp) MARISHA: Creator Clash! ASHLEY: Woo!
MATT: Oh man. MARISHA: It's going down. TRAVIS: (shouts) It's going down!
MARISHA: It's going down! (whooping)
LAURA: Let's go. MARISHA: (grunts)
SAM: Oh my god. MARISHA: This Saturday.
LAURA: Oh my god! MARISHA: I've been training for
six months almost nonstop. I've--
ASHLEY: Look at those guns! MARISHA: Basically my--
LAURA: Show the guns. TRAVIS: Smith & Wesson, let's go.
SAM: No, don't show the guns! Don't show the guns! That's secret.
TRAVIS: That's right, yeah. SAM: That's secret.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. LAURA: Don't show anything
that you know. ASHLEY: She hasn't been
doing anything. TRAVIS: Don't show them the
thunder and the lightning. MARISHA: Don't show them a jab-cross?
TRAVIS: Let her experience the storm. SAM: No!
MARISHA: Okay. MATT: Show them the flash
on the horizon. (laughter) MARISHA: Yeah, it's fucking-- ASHLEY: Event Horizon.
MARISHA: This Saturday, which is bonkers and
I'm a little excited and terrified all at
the same time. SAM: Are you ready? (laughter) MARISHA: We'll find out. We'll see.
SAM: I want confidence from you, Ray!
MARISHA: (shouts) Yeah, I'm ready! SAM: I like it. MARISHA: (grunts) SAM and TRAVIS: (laugh) MARISHA: Yeah, Saturday
this April 15th. I'm still on this one bullet point.
I haven't moved past it. (laughter) MARISHA: It's taking place at
the Amalie Stadium in Tampa, which is where the Tampa Bay
Lightning plays, you guys. SAM: Whoa!
ASHLEY: I mean. MATT: Speaking of lightning. TRAVIS: NBD.
MATT: It's fucking awesome. I am facing off against
the lovely Haley Sharpe, aka @yodelinghaley. She's so sweet.
ASHLEY: Bye-bye! (laughter) SAM: I'm sure she's very
lovely, or she was. ASHLEY: This is for charity.
This is for charity. LAURA: It's for charity. It's
for charity. It's for charity. MATT: No, she's
also pretty tough. We saw her fight last year.
TRAVIS: True. MATT: And she's coming to
reclaim that, so. TRAVIS: She's got scrap. MARISHA: She's scrappy,
she's, yeah. I'll let Ashley speak for me. (laughter) ASHLEY: Not scrappy
like our babe. MARISHA: As they were saying,
this is a charity boxing event and I am so fucking
stoked and proud that the Critical Role
Foundation will be one of several organizations that this event and the proceeds
will be going towards-- TRAVIS: It's so cool.
MARISHA: -- this year. So fuck yes. Tickets can still be purchased
at thecreatorclash.com. That's both for last minute
stadium seat tickets or for the pay-per-view. LAURA: Pay-per-view. MARISHA: It's all for a good cause.
MATT: Check it out. ASHLEY: You're doing a pay-per-view fight.
LAURA: You're going to be on pay-per-view! TRAVIS: Pop, pop, motherfucker,
pop, pop. ASHLEY: You're doing a
pay-per-view fight! LIAM: Blood in the water.
MARISHA: Get a t-shirt. TRAVIS: Let's go! Pop, pop!
MATT: It's going to be good. ASHLEY: Some of these videos
we've seen, my god, thirsty. I'm always like,
"I'll be the victim." (laughter) SAM: There are victims
in boxing? ASHLEY: Yeah. TRAVIS: In Ashley's dreams,
there are. MATT: Yep. (laughs) ASHLEY: No, Marisha, no! (laughter) MATT: I feel you. (laughter) MATT: Well, speaking of
the event horizon. ASHLEY: Oh no.
MARISHA: Oh shit. MATT: Because Travis, I know
you know the Latin. TRAVIS: Dominate--
Ex inferis, I think, yep. MATT: There you go. I believe that concludes
our announcements. So let's go ahead and jump
into tonight's episode of-- LIAM: Oh no.
LAURA: Why are you hiding? MATT: -- Critical Role. (wind whooshing) ♪ Critical, it's Thursday ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb
until we reach the top ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall ♪ LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end
or meet our destiny ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪ MATT: How do you
want to do this? ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪
come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪
continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is ♪
magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows ♪
what will happen ♪ ♪ He might ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪
on the fight ♪ TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪ LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪ MATT: ♪ We all share
the same goal ♪ TALIESIN and MATT:
♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪ SAM: ♪ Hold your breath
and roll ♪ MARISHA: You can
certainly try. ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪
come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪
continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ There is ♪
magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, ♪
our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪
on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready (get ready) ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ (fire crackling) MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off, half of Bells Hells had
encountered two new allies, some with ancient histories and some with more
ancient histories. But upon searching for
a means of reaching out to the other half of
your unknown troop, magic is changing. Ancient enchantments seem
to have been undone and a bit of disarray is
beginning to unravel, even here within the town of
Uthodurn in the Flotket Alps. Upon searching around
for answers, you happened to save a
lot of members of the town from one such enchantment that held a petrified
forest spirit from the Veluthil Forest and upon doing so, was
granted an audience to come with the king and queen of
the Diarchy here of Uthodurn. In the interim time, you rested for the evening
here at Deanna's house, enjoyed a fine breakfast and went to drop by
D&O's Toy Emporium where you had found yourself
radically and rapidly hired to deal with other
such bits of chaos that seemed to have gotten
free within the toy store. You battled some of
these firebugs within and the strangely mutated, terrifying, what's the
word I'm looking for? The mascot of the
Toy Emporium, which had now become a terrifying
arachnid-type creature. You did battle with it in the
upper region of the toy store, turned it back into its baby
form for about an hour quickly ran out into
the snow and-- ASHLEY: Kill it. MATT: Right.
(laughter) ASHLEY: Time to die.
MATT: Left it to be dealt with by the Glassblades as
you rushed back in. Since then, you reconvened and had a bit of a somewhat
conversation of closure with Oltgar, of which
you had previously seen when you stabbed him
in the hand and fled from Uthodurn
many years ago, sending him on his way to
bring the joy of his toys to children around Exandria. TRAVIS: (laughs) MATT: Now, nearing the midday
here in the subterranean depths of the dwarf and elvish
city of Uthodurn, I just realized you have a-- AABRIA: Yeah.
MATT: -- shrine. AABRIA: Yes, I've got
to cleanse my di-- Y'all were here the last time
when I was rolling, right? LAURA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Oh, this is that. We're doing it?
AABRIA: I went and bought crystals. So if everyone could reach a hand--
SAM: Those are crystals? AABRIA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: A hand? AABRIA: Yeah, everyone
reach a hand out. Just send out some good
vibes real quick. ASHLEY: Sending out good vibes.
AABRIA: Thank you so much. We've got to roll
above a three today. ASHLEY: Let's do it.
AABRIA: Okay, thank you. Ah, blow the smoke. Oh no!
TRAVIS and LAURA: Oh no! TRAVIS: You know what that means?
AABRIA: No wishes. TRAVIS: (laughs) MATT: I took all the
power for myself. AABRIA: Yeah.
MATT: (cackles) AABRIA: Damn it. Not again. LAURA: Ooh, it smells
like candles now. MATT: It does.
TRAVIS: Oh, candle wax. ASHLEY: I love it.
TRAVIS: That brings back memories. SAM: Oh god.
(laughter) AABRIA: Chetney did love
his temperature play. That was great!
SAM: That was good? AABRIA: That was good!
SAM: I've got to practice. AABRIA: All right. CHRISTIAN: Do you know what
you just secretly told us? AABRIA: Ooh.
SAM: What? LAURA: Oh.
SAM: Oh. Versailles?
AABRIA: Only Ashley knows. (laughter)
ASHLEY: You're done with us. MATT: They'll tell
us in time. Well, what is it
you wish to do? SAM: Oh, what time is it? TRAVIS: Midday. SAM: That's when we're
supposed to go! TRAVIS: I thought it was
in the afternoon? AABRIA: It's at noon.
SAM: It's at 12:00 noon. TRAVIS: Listen, my memory's
fading in my later years. We should hurry. MATT: Within the hour or so, it's somewhere between 11:00
and noon, you'd guess. Well, not even guess, by
looking at the clockwork that you have, it's pushing
just past 11:00. LAURA: We don't want to
be late meeting-- AABRIA: Yeah.
LAURA: -- royalty. AABRIA: Or what if we're late,
it's like a power play? ASHLEY: Ooh.
SAM: Do we have-- ASHLEY: I love a good power play.
SAM: -- to bring something? A gift, an offering?
TRAVIS: What? LAURA: Oh. SAM: A present?
LAURA: Like a house present? I don't know.
SAM: Well, I don't know. I don't know what the
rules are around here. I've never met a king or queen.
ASHLEY: I think they need to give us a gift. We took care of their problem. What do we need to show
up with anything for? SAM: Well, I know, but
isn't it polite to just bring something to--? ASHLEY: Oh.
SAM: I don't know. TRAVIS: I'll work on
something on the way. (chitters) I take out the very nice block
of wood that FRIDA gave me. CHRISTIAN: I think that
would be enough. TRAVIS: I'm working like a
goddamn CNC machine over here, just mind your business. LAURA: I'm just going to
Prestidigitation all of us as we're going, so I can
clean us up from our-- CHRISTIAN: Thank you
very much. LAURA: At least we
won't smell bad. MATT: Fair enough.
CHRISTIAN: Deanna, have you ever met the king and queen?
AABRIA: No. CHRISTIAN: Okay. AABRIA: I think I've only ever
seen them in parades before. SAM: And they rule together? AABRIA: Yeah. SAM: How do they
resolve disputes? AABRIA: Talking. Isn't
that your whole thing? SAM: Well, I know,
but, I mean, I've counseled quite a
few married couples and there's many times when
they don't get along and they go to bed angry,
which is fine and normal and everyone works through
their problems. But when your problems
could lead to war with a rival nation
or something, that could be very difficult. They must be
emotionally healthy. TRAVIS: Maybe the sex
is on point. CHRISTIAN: I don't know if
it's that kind of union. TRAVIS: Oh. ASHLEY: Oh.
CHRISTIAN: But my analysis of their union is that
it's their differences that make them
stronger together. SAM: Wow, it seems like
words to live by. ASHLEY: They don't consummate
their marriage? CHRISTIAN: I'm not sure that
they do. They might. AABRIA: It looks
like they have. CHRISTIAN: Oh? AABRIA: I don't know. It's
just a vibe you can catch when you see them.
ASHLEY: Just a vibe? AABRIA: Yeah, they've banged
it out. You know? ASHLEY: Yeah.
SAM: The way they look at each other
or there's body language? AABRIA: It's like
a body language, like when you're
physically comfortable in a space with someone. SAM: You can tell that? AABRIA: Yeah, can't you? LAURA: Well, then how come y'all
seem so awkward together if? AABRIA: Yeah, there's--
CHRISTIAN: If I had a fan. AABRIA: -- banged it out and
then there's, "You know too much." TRAVIS: Yeah, plus 200 years
on top of that, you know? AABRIA: Yeah.
LAURA: Yeah. It's like a re-banging it
out needs to happen. TRAVIS: What?
AABRIA: What? LAURA: Huh?
CHRISTIAN: What? TRAVIS: Why would you?
AABRIA: I'm so sorry. Oh god, it's so loud in this hallway.
TRAVIS: We don't know what you're talking about. ASHLEY: Uh-huh. SAM: Wow, I'm just
learning a lot about body language
right now. AABRIA: Interesting.
ASHLEY: Body language, tension. TRAVIS: I'm trying to work.
Stop distracting me. AABRIA: Where did you
get candy from? MATT: (laughs) ASHLEY: Would you like one? SAM: Oh.
AABRIA: Oh. Actual candy, thank you. MATT: These two adorable
dwarven children, one with this deeply
smooth brown skin and these bright brown
eyes and short black hair and even a bit of chin
scruff for a young boy, but with the dwarves,
they kick in early. (laughter) MATT: And this little pauper-
looking girl with fiery red hair, an olive complexion,
behind him and they're both wearing,
not ragged clothing, but, definitely, they look
like they've been adventuring for the good part
of the morning, lean out from one of
the nearby crooks and look over and the
little girl blinks and ducks behind while
the boy steps forward. "Were you the ones
with the bull?" CHRISTIAN: The bull? LAURA: Yeah.
CHRISTIAN: Yes. MATT: "Told you," and they just run off. AABRIA: Oh, no, what? Oh okay, well, all
right. That was fun. SAM: Yeah. LAURA: You know what I was
thinking about, though? The bull had been what,
petrified, right? That's how it was
stuck where it was? ASHLEY: Yeah. LAURA: And the magic loss
is what released it. So what if Ryn-- SAM: (gasps) Oh.
LAURA: What if Ryn got released as well? TRAVIS: Oh, that's true.
SAM: Oh. TRAVIS: Yeah.
LAURA: Armless. ASHLEY: That's a very
good point. SAM: Wait. Did we knock
off her arms? TRAVIS: We didn't knock
off anything. A giant automaton being
piloted crushed a wall that fell on her. SAM: But it was sort
of a group plan. LAURA: I think you were
alone in the automaton when it happened, though. TRAVIS: More like
sole responsibility. SAM: I was trying to
rescue everyone. I had good intentions. TRAVIS: FCG de-armed
a Planerider. AABRIA: Oh? I don't know what
a Planerider is. SAM: It's a person.
TRAVIS: Oh. CHRISTIAN: You took
someone's arms off? SAM: Not intentionally.
LAURA: Just one arm. CHRISTIAN: Just one arm?
AABRIA: But you saved the rest of them, right? SAM: I don't know that
I did, actually. AABRIA: Okay, well, I was
trying to find a win here. SAM: We don't know if half
of our party is dead. LAURA: Yeah, no, we don't. CHRISTIAN: They're
certainly not. SAM: I was pretty ineffective
in the fight, but to be fair-- AABRIA: I mean, but you were
effective this whole time. LAURA: Every single one of us
was completely ineffective in that fight. ASHLEY: I really
felt that, too. TRAVIS: Yeah, you were instrumental,
FCG, I have to say. SAM: Still, I feel guilty. I hope that Planerider
Ryn is all right. LAURA: I'm sure they are. SAM: I hope they can
still ride planes without being able
to, you know? LAURA: I'm sure they can. CHRISTIAN: (chuckles) ASHLEY: Can it be reattached
somehow through healing powers? LAURA: I mean, if people can
bring others back to life, I'm sure that people can
regrow arms, right? CHRISTIAN: No, that's where
you draw the line. They can't regrow arms. (chuckles) TRAVIS: We should get going.
ASHLEY: Yeah. SAM: Oh yeah,
the king and queen! AABRIA: We're walking, talking.
LAURA: We're walking. MATT: Okay. Following the central
Auger Trail southward, past the current disc,
through the Liber Disc, down to the
Grand Disc beneath, now in much better shape than
you had previously seen it. Much of the destruction
beyond the initial gate seems to have been
rapidly repaired and you can see actively some
of the low level guild mages within the city
are in the process of mending some of
the nearby damage and stone-shaping
some of the things that need to be
further reinforced to return to their
previous grandeur. As you step into
the neighborhood, you can see some of the
soldiers and Glassblades that immediately go
to see who you are, just to check to make sure
people aren't wandering through this space, especially
the space of a recent event but a day before, and immediately recognize
you stepping forward and step back a bit,
give a nod. You see there is
one particular soldier who looks like
they were wounded, you recognize as the one
that you had talked to, who is against the door
who is standing up now, with a light bandage and looks like they've
undergone something serious. They step forward and
she glances at the rest of you and goes, "I just wanted
to say thank you again." AABRIA: You're welcome. They didn't let you
get one whole day off? You almost died. MATT: "Oh, I was able to
get most of it healed, "and I wanted to help
with the recovery efforts. "I'm not doing anything
too strenuous, but, you know, "I'm trying to put
in work where I can." AABRIA: I'm going to cast a
1st-level Cure Wounds on her. MATT: Sure, go ahead and roll.
AABRIA: Just to help her out. Please, dice, be good now. Oh, what's a d8? Oh god!
SAM: Oh no. AABRIA: Oh no!
SAM: All the d8s have turned into d9s. TRAVIS: They were
scared of the fire. AABRIA: Okay, 10 points. MATT: 10 points. You reach out and touch her and she at first
assumes as you whisper that it's a simple prayer
and as soon as you touch, then a warm glow moves towards
the end of your fingers and into her chest. She pulls away for
a second, taken aback, un-expecting this
small bit of divinity and smiles and you can see
stands a little bit taller. "Thank you again." AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "Anyway, good luck
to you all." CHRISTIAN: What's your name?
ASHLEY: You as well. MATT: "Aye, Jerena." CHRISTIAN and LAURA: Jerena.
SAM and AABRIA: Jerena. CHRISTIAN: You're very brave.
MATT: "Thank you." CHRISTIAN: You helped
us just as much as we helped you
yesterday, so thank you. MATT: "Oh." AABRIA: (whispers) That's not true.
MATT: "I couldn't help but disagree, "but I appreciate the sentiment."
LAURA: (whispers) That's not true. (laughter)
CHRISTIAN: You guys. ASHLEY: She just laid
there the whole time, but you were healing.
MATT: "Yeah. No. "You're not wrong." AABRIA: It's okay, it's okay.
ASHLEY: It's okay. MATT: "Anyway.
(clear throat)" Goes off and wanders back to the rest of her troop.
ASHLEY: Thank you. AABRIA: Shame. AABRIA and CHRISTIAN: (laugh) MATT: Continuing now
through the less tense walk through the central
neighborhood here, rounding the left-hand
slowly descending rotation in the corner down
the Auger Trail to where you can see
once more the Citadel. Now already many of
the sustained damage and the toppled pillars
and bits of the archway that lead towards
the stair entrance up into the massive
crystalline funnel of the structure are pretty
much completely repaired. Once again, a few
other guild mages are in the process of taking
a break or actively mending it and it has a
bustling atmosphere of half construction site
and half a place of politically-centric business having to carry on
in the interim. As you begin to approach, some of the sentinel
guards step forward and look upon
you all and nod. "You have been expected," and they step aside. AABRIA: This is nice. MATT: One of them lowers
his spear right across-- SAM: (yelps)
MATT: -- the front of you, Chetney and goes,
"Who are you?" SAM: Oh, that's right.
AABRIA: (laughs) TRAVIS: Oh sorry, I'm the
bursar for this group. I keep records in
all monetary funds. I'm just here to
make sure that our accounts are
accounted for. LAURA: He was also
helping on the day. He just got separated
from the group. ASHLEY: He's not with us.
LAURA: He was injured. (laughter) MATT: Okay, make
a deception check with advantage just
because of that. ASHLEY: I'm just kidding.
MATT: No, I know. But I'm going
to do it anyway. TRAVIS: Yeah.
AABRIA and MATT: (laugh) LAURA: 27. MATT: He goes, "(laughs) "You're funny. "All right, come on in."
ASHLEY: Thank you. MATT: He pulls the spear
up and steps to the side. TRAVIS: (groans dramatically)
Oh, thank you. Oh. SAM: That was close. TRAVIS: Injured by
the bull. (moans) AABRIA: That's right.
(laughs) MATT: You ascend the steps
up into the Citadel once more. The lack of stillness doesn't pull away from
the sound of the echoing footsteps against the
continuously-widening halls and winding stairways that
go further up into the numerous hallways that the interior
of the Citadel contains. But you know precisely
the direction to travel since that was where
you had previously nearly, or briefly,
got into a scuffle. You step up the second
flight of stairs past the first
central entryway. The damaged double doors
that were left ajar and partially crumbled
have been repaired and affixed to the sides
and are partially open and you can see there are
a number of the sentinels that wear the royal attire
of Uthodurn who step aside as you begin to enter.
As you enter the chamber, you can see the pillars
have been re-affixed. There is still some
repair being done on the side elements
of the room. It's incomplete, it's only
been less than a day, really. Rapid repairs for
the time given, and it seems that the
majority of what damage could have transpired has
been prevented, thankfully. They're in the middle
of a discussion and one of the sentinel
guards steps forward and puts a hand out and
says "Just a few moments. "They need to finish a current
convocation with a guest. "Just if you wouldn't
mind waiting." CHRISTIAN: DM, I have a
question about the space-- MATT: Yes?
CHRISTIAN: -- that I've been thinking about since
we were in here last. Is the arcane energy
amplified in this place? Is the magic stronger
in the Citadel, within the Citadel, or
within the palace itself? MATT: Make an arcana check. AABRIA: Let's go. CHRISTIAN: I mean, I suck
at arcana, but anyway. 13. MATT: 13. You don't gather anything
that gives you the impression that the arcana is
stronger here, necessarily. You can see that where
previously you came in here, there were a number of
lanterns and light sources that were disenchanted
like the rest of the city. It looks like they've
swapped those out or managed to repair
them to some degree. You're uncertain,
but it is better lit than you previously remember,
mostly cleaned up and the room's still,
it is a grand chamber. You cannot help but feel like
this is the place where the center of government would
sit with honor and pride. But no sense of any enhanced
arcana, necessarily. CHRISTIAN: Okay. MATT: Anything you
wish to discuss before you approach
or the time comes? SAM: What do we want? I know that's
a broad question and everyone has to answer it
individually for themselves. If we get a reward for
helping these folks, I don't care about money. What could help us and what could help our
situation right now? You two also, what is it that you hope
to get out of this? CHRISTIAN: To help
you find your friends. AABRIA: Yeah.
SAM: Well, I mean, that's very nice of you, but you must have
your own goals, too. CHRISTIAN: We were
quite happy. (laughs) AABRIA: Yeah. CHRISTIAN: We would like to
help you all find your friends. AABRIA: It would make
us very happy to do so. CHRISTIAN: Yes. TRAVIS: I think it's
an information share. If they know anything
from cities or realms beyond
here in Wildemount, since we weren't here before
we were all of a sudden, and then maybe if they know
of any means of communication saved for the royal
family or a means of teleportation or
transportation, I don't know. LAURA: Maybe they do
know some druids. Maybe they can transport
via plants or something. SAM: That's a great idea. And Fearne, what do you want? ASHLEY: I don't know yet. SAM: Because you
haven't seen the room? ASHLEY: Yeah.
TRAVIS: You've been in there once, what do you mean? ASHLEY: Well, I was a
little distracted. TRAVIS: Pft. Multitask. ASHLEY: No, I would
like to find a way somehow to contact
our friends, so. I just want to make
sure they're okay. TRAVIS: Can we ask that you
not try to steal anything while in plain view
of the king and queen? ASHLEY: That's the
best time to do it. TRAVIS: You're going
to be you. Okay. ASHLEY: We'll see,
we'll see, we'll see. I probably won't. CHRISTIAN: If you're going to.
ASHLEY: Yeah? CHRISTIAN: Let me know beforehand
and I'll create a distraction. ASHLEY: Oh, great.
LAURA: (laughs) ASHLEY: Thank you so much.
CHRISTIAN: You're very welcome. ASHLEY: This is
a true friend. SAM: They really are. TRAVIS: What about you, FCG? Any ideas, requests,
needs, desires? SAM: Oh. No, I just hope that our
friends here are taken care of, maybe for the
rest of their lives. AABRIA: Thank you. LAURA: Good sponsorships. AABRIA: What do you even
do with a sponsorship? Everywhere in here
has been like, "Do you need--" What does that mean?
LAURA: I don't know. AABRIA: Do we
have to say stuff? Do I have to wear a robe? LAURA: Sponsored by a toy shop?
SAM: You have to wear things. LAURA: I don't
understand how you can even be sponsored
by a toy shop. SAM: I think you have to
do a couple social posts. AABRIA: What? I have to write
something on the billboard? SAM: On the billboard.
TRAVIS: Yeah, parchment and then you just nail it.
AABRIA: Yeah, you just nail it on. MATT: #Ad.
CHRISTIAN: Maybe they put a decal on me or on the jacket that I can
wear for whatever business. AABRIA: We will not
sully that jacket with-- CHRISTIAN: Fair enough.
SAM: Is that still not repaired yet? LAURA: No, we need
to get this repaired. ASHLEY: Oh yeah, we need to get that repaired.
SAM: That's one thing we could ask the king and queen for. MATT: It's about this
moment that you see there's a troop of
two bodyguard figures and one very well-dressed
older male dwarf on the rotund side in
long purple-velvet robes with golden red inlay, gems
encrusting every finger ring and you can see
a number of rings with gems encrusted and
woven into his beard as he walks past with a
bit of importance with-- LAURA: Ooh, woven into his beard?
MATT: -- nose in the air. Steps out of the chamber as one of the guards
turns and goes, "You're being summoned
by the king and queen." SAM: That was the prior
person they were meeting? MATT: Yes.
TRAVIS: Who was that? SAM: So fancy. We don't have
anything in our beards. MATT: "You're being called." SAM: Yes, all right. Yes.
TRAVIS: Okay, sure. AABRIA: Any chance we
recognize the guy coming out? MATT: The guy
who was exiting? Make a history check. AABRIA: Please
dice, be good now. SAM: So good.
AABRIA: (laughs) CHRISTIAN: Can I?
AABRIA: No. MATT: Sure. AABRIA: Four. CHRISTIAN: I don't even
know where I am right now. (laughter) MATT: You did
not recognize him. In the time that
you've been in Uthodurn and the time that
you've worked here, this individual,
you gather by their attire that they work or live in a
space that is a little removed from your experiences
within the city. AABRIA: Well, fuck him. MATT: They wear
that elite air well. CHRISTIAN: Okay.
MATT: (chuckles) AABRIA: Fearne, take a
thing out of his beard. LAURA: (laughs)
CHRISTIAN: She's on it. ASHLEY: Oh god,
I want to so bad. MATT: They're walking past. AABRIA: I cast Guidance. ASHLEY: Excuse me.
TRAVIS: Oh my god. (laughter) ASHLEY: Excuse me.
TRAVIS: We were so close. MATT: As the
sentinel's like-- AABRIA: Sorry, one second. TRAVIS: Instigator. MATT: One of the
bodyguards turns and puts a hand on
the side of the sword, looking towards you--
LAURA: (whispers) No, don't, don't. MATT: You hear the voice go,
(deep, Scottish) "Don't worry. "I can't help myself
but listen to the voice "of a fine lass who
requests my attention." AABRIA: He's a creep.
Rob him blind. ASHLEY: Oh. Oh. What is your name? MATT: "Lord Desavon Kamash." ASHLEY: Lord Desavon. What are you the lord of? MATT: "Would you
like to know more?" CHRISTIAN: (laughs) ASHLEY: Absolutely, I would.
TRAVIS: Battlestar Galactica. Kamash?
AABRIA: Kamash. MATT: He puts his arm out.
TRAVIS: Starship Troopers. ASHLEY: Oh, are we leaving? LAURA: Fearne, we got to
meet the king and queen. ASHLEY: I have to go
meet the king and queen, but if you wanted
to wait, you can. Look at this glorious beard. I'm going to
give him a little. TRAVIS: Oh boy.
MATT: (laughs) He seems-- He's
looking up at you because you tower
over his dwarven form. AABRIA: Yes. MATT: He shivers a bit as you run your fingers
through his beard and goes, "I have
not quite encountered "a fey as majestic
as yourself, lass." ASHLEY: Do you want
me to tell you a joke? (laughter) MATT: "Please." ASHLEY: Where does the
king keep his armies? MATT: "I don't know.
Where does the king "keep his armies, lass?" ASHLEY: In his sleevies. (laughter) ASHLEY: I'm going
to try to take it. I'm going to try
to take one of his little beard rings.
MATT: He goes-- ASHLEY: It's bad.
It's a bad joke, but-- MATT: "Oh, I get it. (laughs) "It's arm, armies." ASHLEY: Armies.
MATT: "(laughs)" CHRISTIAN: In his sleevies.
ASHLEY: Arms in his sleevies. MATT: "(laughs) "Sorry, I'm used to being
surrounded by folks who-- "Their senses of
humor are a bit aloof." ASHLEY: Oh, how sad. MATT: "I know, I know." ASHLEY: Mine's very
fully present. (laughter) ASHLEY: Wait, why
were you here? MATT: "I've business to attend."
AABRIA: She's going to get it. MATT: "Things have
been a bit crazy." ASHLEY: Right, right, right. All right. Well maybe I'll
see you around, Lord Desavon. MATT: "Very well.
Hopefully so." ASHLEY: Yep. (laughter) MATT: All right, make
a sleight of hand check. AABRIA: Let's go! MATT: His bodyguards are
watching you like a hawk. SAM: Oh god.
AABRIA: You got this, though, and you do have Guidance. ASHLEY: Okay. SAM: Plus a d4. AABRIA: Come on. LAURA: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Say it. AABRIA: This is the most important
thing in the world today. TRAVIS: Say it. ASHLEY: That would be a 26.
CHRISTIAN: We're all going to jail. MATT: (sputters)
AABRIA: Yeah! MATT: Natural six
and a natural four for both him and
his bodyguards. ASHLEY: Woo!
AABRIA: Yes! MATT: Even with their
very high perception bonus, you are smooth,
you are quick and-- ASHLEY: Coochie-coo!
MATT: Yeah, as you give a little
scritch and pull something from his beard, wrestling
it into your fingers. TRAVIS: Damn!
MATT: One of the rings comes free and you pocket it.
LAURA: Amazing. ASHLEY: Great.
CHRISTIAN: Every relationship I've ever been in. ASHLEY: Great.
LAURA: (laughs) Mine. (laughs) ASHLEY: I'm going
to put it on. TRAVIS: You're just flaunting it.
MATT: Yeah? It's a little loose. It'll go onto your thumb probably comfortably.
ASHLEY: Great, I put it on my thumb. MATT: As you put
it on, you can feel it has a number of gems
embedded within it. LAURA: Whoa.
MATT: It is a very, very nice ring. ASHLEY: I'm going to try to
see if I can grow a beard and then I'm going
to put it on there. SAM: (laughs)
AABRIA: Amazing. ASHLEY: Okay.
MATT: "You're being summoned." SAM: Yes.
MATT: The guard's still there. ASHLEY: Here we come. Here we come.
TRAVIS: Of course. MATT: As you ascend the
steps up to the central dais and the second
steps that lead up to the dual thrones that
greet you at the top, you can see before you
the king and queen. The Queen, Simone Fruunast, you can see she's
the dwarven daughter of the previous Queen,
Judessa Fruunast. She is as beautiful
as she looks also stern and attentive
and in control. She has a nice chiseled square jaw
with nice rose cheeks. A smile that looks at first focused like she's pensive
and then upon your approach, it turns into this
bright warmth as her dark brown hair is tumbled
in these heavy curls and she wears the
crown underneath, the toppling of her hair
goes over the top of the crown as it wraps into
and is woven into her hair. Beautiful long robes
that go beyond her legs and pool around the base
of the high-backed throne and she stands with
her hands crossed, gives a nod to her left. King Imathan Talviel. You see this elder elf male with long white hair that seems
to go almost to his waist, going past his
shoulders and his back where it has a bounce
and a curl at the end. It's parted in the
center where his crown presents upward, a golden
shape that looks like trees growing with
branches curling upward for about three inches before
they spread to the top. His eyes are a beautiful
deep emerald green, and he sits within this
long deep blue robe with silver trim on it, a few rings on his hands
that sit on the edge of his throne and he nods
as well as you approach. As the guards
step to the side and remain attentive
to your presence, the queen puts a hand up
towards the rest of you. "Hello, friends. "Thank you for
joining us this day. "After all, it was you and
your doing the day before "that saved many lives within
the great city you stand in. "Now some of you "I can assume are from town?" AABRIA: Right here,
right here. MATT: "All right. "It's not all outsiders."
AABRIA: Curtsy. MATT: "Very good, very good
and what's your name, lass?" AABRIA: Deanna Leimert,
your eminence. MATT: "Well, the honor
is ours, Deanna." AABRIA: (giggles) MATT: "You've done a great
service for our people, "and shown in times of
tumultuous uncertainty, "that those who stand up
and put their strength "to the protection of those
who cannot defend themselves, "that is where the heart
of Uthodurn lies "and through your
display of heroism, "you will never quite know
how many you've inspired "in the days, weeks, and years
to come to do the same. "So on behalf of our
fine city, I thank you." CHRISTIAN: I'll also bow. I'm not sure
if we're supposed to bow or not, but I bow, yes.
LAURA: Yeah, a curtsy. I do a curtsy.
ASHLEY: I do it, too. AABRIA: Deanna's
doing it to cover the fact that she is
deeply out of breath. (laughter) AABRIA: 15-foot, 15 speed. MATT: It's a lot of steps. It's a lot of steps.
TRAVIS: (quick footsteps) MATT: The elven king
leans forward with a warm smile that
curls across his face. "It is with our particular "appreciation that you have
answered to our summons "and arrived
here on this day. "We wish to, one, "thank you for the recollection
of the gracious beast "and returned to its
direction of its homestead. "You shall be
decreed the five, "six?" SAM: He was there, too. AABRIA: He was there
the whole time. TRAVIS: Uh-huh. MATT: "The six of you
will be decreed "as Protectors
of the Diarchy." LAURA: Wow.
SAM: Protectors of the Diarchy. MATT: "Afforded respect and
access throughout the city. "Granted a reward
for your duties." SAM: Oh!
MATT: "And a modest ask "of the Diarchy,
subject to capability. "We are ever-mindful
of abuses of power "and appreciate humility
in our heroes." LAURA: Of course.
SAM: Wow. ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. SAM: In the way that they've
been speaking so far, standing, do I detect any
body language between them? TRAVIS: Get on it. Let's go. AABRIA: Please,
can I assist him in the body language?
LAURA: ♪ I just want to know ♪ ♪ If you're boning ♪
MATT: Roll an insight check. AABRIA: Yes!
LAURA: I want to roll it, too. MATT: (laughs) LAURA: I really want to know. AABRIA: You have advantage. LAURA: I rolled a four.
SAM: Insight, 25. AABRIA: Goddamn!
TRAVIS: Yes! SAM: A whisper for insight!
LAURA: Aw, whisper? We all want to know!
SAM: This whisper-- AABRIA: Could you imagine--
TRAVIS: Are you writing in Elvish? ASHLEY: This whisper
is brought to you by-- AABRIA: Oh my god, thank you! CHRISTIAN and ASHLEY:
The Mighty Nein Box Set. ASHLEY: -- is now available
for pre-order. Find these and many more
Critical Role miniatures at wizkids.io/crminis at wizkids.io/crminis and your local game store. TRAVIS: Hey, hey, nice job, A.J. Let's go.
ASHLEY: At your local game store? ASHLEY: At your
local game store. TRAVIS: Very nice.
MATT: (laughs) AABRIA: Way to step up. I'm proud of you.
ASHLEY: Pick up the slack. SAM: I just focus
really hard, just trying to read anything. Okay. I mean, I don't-- AABRIA: Don't lie to me. SAM: I don't know
what I'm looking for. AABRIA: Oh shit.
SAM: But I also don't know what I'm--
CHRISTIAN: All this talk of body language and so
I am watching FCG. AABRIA: He's very old.
MATT: Okay. CHRISTIAN: To see if
there's any body language-- TRAVIS: Your grace is--
CHRISTIAN: -- that might indicate that he might like me. AABRIA: Oh!
TRAVIS: We wanted to make you-- MATT: Make an insight check. SAM: Oh, wait. You're
trying to insight me? AABRIA: Oh!
TRAVIS: Oh, to learn what you learned? SAM: To see if I'm
liking what I'm seeing? CHRISTIAN: Yeah. 10. MATT: Okay.
CHRISTIAN: Yeah. MATT: He's hard to read.
CHRISTIAN: Okay. MATT: It's all new to you.
SAM: Just staring intently. CHRISTIAN: Okay. TRAVIS: Your graces, we wanted
to greet you with a gift. A token of the
creature that was wooed and that did escape. I'll produce a pretty
fucking impressively carved bull, very much
like the one that rampaged through the town
and I'll take a knee. MATT: Takes it from you,
glances over it with a nod of appreciation. (King) "This was
a great beast. "Hopefully, one day,
once more will be again. "I thank you,
as indeed this-- "The reason for us having
it here as a keepsake "in memory of where
many of us came from. "This was one of many spirits
of the Veluthil Forest "that looked over us
and the surroundings "we considered guardians "of all of the elves
in Molaesmyr. "And--"
TRAVIS: Molaesmyr. AABRIA: Molaesmyr
MATT: "-- it was--" AABRIA: I've read that
on the thing. MATT: "It was at the loss of
our great city centuries ago "that we also lost
our protectors. "We found the beast
in that state, "frozen by some "ill-fated magic. "And we-- "We felt, after all the
years it protected us, "the least we could
do was protect it. "So it was here
in our throne room "that it remained when
the people of Uthodurn "took us refugees in and
the Diarchy was born. "So-- "We had hoped there would be
a lack of need to assault, "We had hoped there would be
a lack of need to assault, "restrain or, "far be it, "send to the next beyond, "such a beast. "Your deeds have indeed "seen that it could
thrive in its return. "So. "I, and all survivors "of the fall of
Molaesmyr, thank you." CHRISTIAN: Your highness,
are there more protectors here in the city or in the city?
MATT: "Nearby? No. "There may be more within "what is now known as
the Savalirwood. "Our beautiful forest is
no more and has been "corrupted "for centuries since. "Indeed, I do hope that the
Great Beast finds someplace new, "a fane that it could
bind itself to of health. "Or should it find
other wayward spirits, "mayhaps push back
some of the corruption "and begin the slow
process of reclaiming "what was once a beautiful,
thriving, living realm." LAURA: Maybe other guardians
were released at the same time. MATT: "I certainly hope so. "Indeed, it has been
a strange time for "magic." AABRIA: So you know about
the Applebee's SoulCycle? (laughter)
CHRISTIAN: No, she didn't. (laughter) (laughter) TRAVIS: Long may it reign. (laughter) TRAVIS: Forevermore. MATT: Sorry, you just blue
screened me there for a second. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Applebee's-- AABRIA: That's the only
thing I'm-- (blows kiss) That's my time,
time to go. Thank you. TRAVIS: I'm going to--
(laughter) TRAVIS: Thank you. MATT: You can't
control-alt-delete out of that. AABRIA: (laughs) TRAVIS: Holy shit. MATT: "Indeed, we've
been quite vigilant, "as a number of
our Glassblades "and a number of mercenaries
under our employ "have been keeping a keen eye "on local dangers and
threats that may emerge "at such specific times. "It is not the first
we've been through, "though, it has
seemingly been "one of the more arduous." Looking over to the queen,
the queen goes, "Aye, something
about this particular "Apogee Solstice
doesn't sit right. "We've not seen it have
such a profound effect "on many of the enchantments
within and beyond our city. "We've been completely
cut off from all "of our magical means of "communication with
allies from beyond. "Indeed, some of our more
powerful magics have been... "undone." You see this look of
sadness in her eyes. "Many of our fallen in the
events of the day before "in which it would be
not a terrible rite "to bring back from the-- "The brief thread. "It seems that such magics,
at the moment, are--" SAM: Wait, what? MATT: "Inaccessible." SAM: Oh no. TRAVIS: Yo.
AABRIA: Really? LAURA: Oh my god. MATT: "We've looked for
guidance on this, but some "of the temples
themselves seem a bit--" The king goes-- "Spooked." LAURA and ASHLEY: (gasp) MATT: "So we are reaching
out to all of our "friends as soon as possible. "We've sent our most
esteemed practitioners "of the arcane arts abroad "to gather information and
return once they're-- "They feel they
have something "of sizable response." LAURA: What is their
means of travel? SAM: Yeah.
How have you sent them? MATT: "These are the
ones who are capable "of transporting themselves. "Teleportation.
Translocation." SAM: They can do that?
They can teleport? MATT: "As far as I know,
they've vanished. "They've not returned." CHRISTIAN: Have you
heard from them? You haven't heard
from any of them? MATT: "Not yet."
LAURA: There's no way to communicate if they-- SAM: Is anyone left here
who can still teleport? Or use some sort of transportation with plants
or whatever? MATT: They both look at each
other and the queen goes, "Anyone with the capability to
do so has been sent away "in hopes that we gain
some sorts of anchor. "We're in the dark out here. "No answers and "growing unrest in
a very spooked populace. "So at the moment,
no, but many of them "should be returning within
the next week or so. "If they were unable
to find anything "or run into problems,
they were told "to return within
a week or more." AABRIA: Elbow check. Ask, ask.
TRAVIS: Ow. Oh. Ask what? AABRIA: To hitch a ride
when they get back. TRAVIS: Your majesty,
King Talviel-- We would be
most grateful if-- Listen, I'm doing my best. Would be most grateful if-- MATT: "You can beseech the
queen as well, if you'd like." TRAVIS: Yes, your majesty,
Queen Fruunast. CHRISTIAN: (laughs)
MATT: The queen gives a nod. TRAVIS: Fucking 10 out of 10.
AABRIA: You're nailing it. Go, go.
TRAVIS: We would be most appreciative if any of those
avenues of transportation or communication upon
learning of their success were made available to us. We should tell them, right? SAM: I think so. TRAVIS: We were on the
continent of Marquet during the Apogee Solstice and we were very close to... the event that may
have caused all of this. MATT: Both of their brows
furrow immediately and there's almost mirrored on both sides, lean forward
from their thrones in your direction
as they give you an odd look, like a, "Huh?" AABRIA: They're for sure banging.
LAURA: Yeah, if they're doing the same motion--
AABRIA: Yeah. SAM: They're doing the same
motion, but I feel like whatever Chetney's about to
say is probably the most exciting thing that's
happened to them in years. AABRIA: You can bang badly,
but still bang. SAM: All right, all right. I'll take that
under advisement. TRAVIS: We stopped by
the Vellum Steeple to look for some
research into a member of the
Cerberus Assembly, Ludinus Da'leth. We were hoping to-- MATT: The king sits back
in his throne a bit. ASHLEY: Insight check.
AABRIA: Yeah. LAURA: Can I insight check?
Oh, Detect Thoughts. TRAVIS: Did the queen sit back
at the same time, huh? (laughter) MATT: No, she did not. SAM: Does the queen making
eyes at Chetney or anything? AABRIA: Ooh.
TRAVIS: I mean, some things you don't need to
roll for, baby. MATT: All right, so we have
a lot of insight checks up in here, so--
LAURA: Yeah, I just want to surface thought on Ludinus. MATT: On Ludinus?
SAM: On him thinking about Ludinus.
LAURA: Yes, I just want to see. MATT: Okay.
LAURA: Is the, "Hmm." MATT: The surface thoughts
you glean from him is Recognition. Accessing old memories and just a bit of-- "Hmph." Kind of like a, "Of course." That's as best as you can
get from a surface read. LAURA: Okay, okay. ASHLEY: 30. LAURA: Whoa! What? How?
TRAVIS, AABRIA, and SAM: What? ASHLEY: I have a plus 13 for insight and
I rolled a 17. SAM: Why aren't you always
rolling for insight? ASHLEY: Incredible.
LAURA: You have a plus 13 insight? AABRIA: How do you
have that many? SAM: Well, I would read
a whisper ad here, but I think she
already done did it. TRAVIS: Yep, yep. SAM: But did she do it well? LAURA: She did a great job.
SAM: Okay, great. AABRIA: Really? MATT: All right. ASHLEY: I love Ashley, after
she gets a successful whisper, everything just locks down. AABRIA: Yep.
(laughter) AABRIA: I give nothing. TRAVIS: Vault.
(laughter) TRAVIS: Poker face. ASHLEY: Yeah, because I don't
have a poker face, but I try. TRAVIS: (hums) ASHLEY: I have to
put it away. AABRIA: I got a 20.
Do I get a whisper? I'm kidding. MATT: Unfortunately, no. LAURA: (laughs) MATT: Nothing beyond what
you even just gleaned at the surface thoughts. TRAVIS: We put in an order.
An order? A request at
the Vellum Steeple. If that could be-- Rushed? Expedited?
SAM: Expedited. TRAVIS: We would be
most grateful. Also, if I may,
on a personal note, I, personally, have been
around since the late 500s. I don't think that compares
in any way to your grace. But-- Molaesmyr-- I was around when all
of that had happened. I think we'd be very
interested to learn anything you could tell us
about the corruption of the now Savalirwood. Of what happened. MATT: "So as the heroes of
this, you are requesting "transportation via magical
means when it's available, "as well as information
on Molaesmyr "and expedition of your requests
at the Vellum Steeple? AABRIA: Mm-hmm.
SAM: Yeah, that's fair. LAURA: Sure.
TRAVIS: And maybe also a change of clothes, you know? Just maybe a gift certificate
around the discs. MATT: The queen chuckles
for a minute. "If you'd like that,
that can be arranged." AABRIA: Thank you. TRAVIS: Now's the time,
throw down. MATT: You all watch
as she gives a nod and you see somebody nearby, one of the lower level
chamber scribes begins to draw up paperwork and is in the process
of putting together some documentation for you.
TRAVIS: Bagels for a year, that kind of-- SAM: I can do that.
TRAVIS: Okay. AABRIA: I don't know if
your personal royal tailor has a free slot,
that would be good. TRAVIS: Oh, snap.
Something custom? AABRIA: Yeah, just like-- SAM: Oh, to repair FRIDA's jacket.
LAURA: It's really just to repair FRIDA's jacket.
AABRIA: Yeah, that too. TRAVIS: (laughs)
AABRIA: I have Mending. TRAVIS and MATT: (laugh) AABRIA: Drip or drown. TRAVIS: "Drip or drown." MATT: Drip or drown's
pretty great. CHRISTIAN: The elf that
was working with-- TRAVIS: I learn.
I continue to learn. CHRISTIAN: Lickdich? I mean, that's
what we call him. LAURA: Dricklitch.
CHRISTIAN: Drixlix. LAURA: Drixlix.
AABRIA: Oh no. CHRISTIAN: Your highness--
ASHLEY: Drixlix. CHRISTIAN: This is probably
low on the totem pole, concerning what's going on,
but there's a gentleman in your city who
is committing fraud and taking advantage
of his workers and potentially children. We discovered-- MATT: At the mention
of children, you see both of them grip
the edge of their thrones and she goes, "Who is this?" CHRISTIAN: I believe his
name was Drixlitch. He owns, or he's co-owner, soon to be majority owner of D&O Toys Emporium.
ASHLEY: D&O Toys. MATT: "I believe I know who
you're talking about. "Though I've not--"
CHRISTIAN: He's not a good man. LAURA: Oltgar was sweet.
CHRISTIAN: Yes. LAURA: He didn't
know about it. MATT: "Well, if you have any "means of proving
these accusations, "we can go ahead and have "some of our High Magisters
look at them "and see if this individual "can be put to proper-- "Oh, you have it
right here. Okay." AABRIA: Give it to a bailiff
guard or something. LAURA: Oh.
MATT: They do and they pass it off--
LAURA: Pass it. MATT: "Well, we'll look
over this in due time. "Appreciate that information, "as such a "deed does not go unpunished "in this diarchy." CHRISTIAN: That's
very important. LAURA: I feel like we
should let them know that Ludinus is behind
the lack of magic. SAM: I think you just did. (laughter) LAURA: I could have
said that mentally. SAM: Sure, sure, sure. TRAVIS: Oh, but the
Apogee Solstice, it's fried your--
LAURA: (mumbles) (laughter) ASHLEY: Your honor, king. TRAVIS: "Your honor."
AABRIA and TRAVIS: (laugh) ASHLEY: How do you
know Ludinus? MATT: "Ludinus was "one of the handful
of powerful mages "that lived in Molaesmyr." CHRISTIAN: That's not good.
LAURA: Oh. MATT: "One of the
notable practitioners "who, upon its destruction, "when the surviving
members of our people "were scattered, fled
southward into Wynandir "and has since forgotten
his elvish roots "and was one of the founders
of the Cerberus Assembly, "if I recall. "Yes, he was one of the--"
CHRISTIAN: Walks like a duck and talks like a duck,
it's a duck. MATT: "He preferred to avoid
politics in his time there "and would stay hidden
within his Gildhollow Tower, "focused on his-- "Well, on the past, mostly." LAURA: Well, Ludinus is,
I think, one of the main reasons
that the magic is failing this particular solstice. MATT: "Hm." He sits back a bit and crosses
his hands in his lap and his face gets a bit dark. "He was always deeply set
in his own research. "Cared little for the "needs of the people, "or granting his ever-growing "skills and gifts to
the aid of others. "Continuously sought
the nature of the gods "and hoarded
historical relics. "He carried an odd
hidden animosity "that none of us
really trusted. "I think he knew
that distrust well, "so he kept to himself. "He had a habit of loudly
debating the great priests "of the city in the
middle of their sermons." SAM and AABRIA: Ooh. MATT: "Many of the pious
leaders and priests "demanded we limit
our resources "supporting his work
and so he did. "He isolated within
his homestead "and became a bit
of a recluse, "which was fine by most. "We didn't mind "not seeing his face around "and he left little impact
on our day-to-day society." CHRISTIAN: If you can
remember, Your Highness, did he disappear before or after the tragic events
in the forest? MATT: "I'd remember it
like it was yesterday. "It was a terrible tragedy. "It was a cataclysm without
warning from beneath the city. "Now the city was founded on a
powerful, natural magic fount, "at a deep-set well of power, "that we were in the process
of trying to understand. "Many researchers
were delving, "and continued to find
caverns that went deeper "and deeper with
each additional step. "We were hoping to learn
the essence of this, "and I believe this is where
this cataclysm was unleashed. "and I believe this is where
this cataclysm was unleashed. "This was a wonderful city, "one that defied the 100-year
fire following the Calamity. "It was there in the Veluthil "where the stone and
wood took shape, "and Molaesmyr was
given beautiful form." You see this
look in his eyes, like he's recalling
fond, gentle memories. "It was our finest, the Grand-Conservator
Aramond Tuestral, "may he rest in peace,
that was spearheading this "very endeavor to understand
the source of the magic "that was promised
to come to light, "and it was under the
red light of the ruddy moon "that a terrible storm
of toxic shadow "engulfed the city, "engulfing the many
in a mercy "while others were
warped, changed. "The forest changed with it,
ever-corrupted to this day. "Our once beautiful home,
now a curse and a memory." TRAVIS: The arcanist's name
that you mentioned, I'm sorry,
could you mention it-- MATT: "Grand-Conservator
Aramond Tuestral." SAM: Does that sound
familiar to any of us? TRAVIS: It kind of does.
ASHLEY: It does. SAM: Tuestral?
ASHLEY: Aramond? MATT: "Aramond, yes." CHRISTIAN: Your Highness, are any of his writings
in the Vellum Steeple? Tuestral, are
any of his writings or anything that he may have
been working on available? MATT: "Unfortunately, "anything that would've been "adhered to his research "would still lie within
the ruins of Molaesmyr, "if it hasn't already been
picked cleaned by looters, "mercenaries, and other
ne'er-do-wells. "We do send-- "The Vellum Steeple has
been many, many years "spearheading endeavors
by hired mercenaries, "a range of troops. "Many individuals have been
sent over the years "into the ruins of Molaesmyr "to gather and reclaim what
of our history we can, "but it's quite dangerous." SAM: Well, maybe now
that magic is different, it won't be as dangerous. AABRIA: Or more. SAM: Some of the
traps may be-- MATT: "That's possible." SAM: De-trapped.
MATT: "That is indeed possible." "Bit of a rush to
know on our side. "Perhaps when the next
round of rangers go about." SAM: How far,
just out of curiosity, how far a trek would it be if someone wanted to
go snoop around in there? MATT: The Queen goes, "Well, half the journey
will have to bring you "either across the Alps
or down the base of it "in the Rime Plains. "Over the mountains
and Rime Plains route "before you even get to
the outskirts of the forest, "by horse is about four days, "by goat over
the mountains, three, "and then through the forest, "about another
three or four days, "or only two and a half,
if you take the river." CHRISTIAN: What about
underneath the city? AABRIA: If you caulk the wagon
and float it it's like a week. TRAVIS: Got it. SAM: "You take I-40--"
CHRISTIAN: Is there a way to go underground? MATT: "Not that far,
unfortunately." SAM: "Cut 20 minutes
off the drive." TRAVIS: "Take the toll road." MATT: (laughs) AABRIA: Did the fall
of Molaesmyr happen during another
Apogee Solstice? SAM: Anthony Coldness,
I think it's-- AABRIA: Oh, okay,
I'm so sorry. Everyone keeps
saying it so fast. MATT: The King thinks
back, and-- AABRIA: Because it
happened a lot, right? MATT: They happen once every little over
100 years, 130 years, give or take.
AABRIA: Deanna doesn't know that. MATT: Yeah, no. SAM and AABRIA: What's time?
MATT: The King goes, "It may have, actually. "The frequencies, "it tends to fluctuate. "I'm not a specialist
in that regard, "but I do believe it was." TRAVIS: He's done
this before. SAM: The King? TRAVIS: No, Ludinus.
LAURA: Ludinus. SAM: Oh. TRAVIS: I don't know what you
might do with this information, but Ludinus was hands-on
with the contraption that was taking aim at the
red moon that you mentioned, Ruidus, and I think his machinations
have something to do with bringing down,
wait for it, the gods. We don't know what
effects it's had, or if that affects
your business at all, but if you speak with
other dignitaries or such, I would rather you be informed
with this information. I don't know how quickly
it'll reach your ears. MATT: The Queen goes, "Do you know
if he succeeded?" TRAVIS: We don't. In a moment where we were
trying to stop him, we were there on
the continent of Marquet and then we found ourselves
to the west of Uthodurn. SAM: It seemed, though, that
he was on the verge of success and we weren't
able to stop it. LAURA: We were able to
maybe lessen his reach. MATT: One of the
local court members, you could see
this robed figure, an older dwarf woman
with thicker glasses and her hair pulled
into two side buns that rest on her shoulders,
steps forward and goes, "My Queen, we have confirmed
that indeed this solstice "seems to be continuous, "where it should have
ended but a day before, "but it seems the leylines
still flicker "and we've not seen the
red moon in the sky since." SAM: (gasps)
TRAVIS: -- does that mean? MATT: "It's by all accounts,
perpetual." TRAVIS: Oh, ho, ho. LAURA: He has
the moon tethered to a location in Marquet. MATT: The woman steps back
and the Queen also sits back in her throne. TRAVIS: (startled noise) MATT: "(sighs) Well, that's-- "That's disconcerting." AABRIA: Feels like
an understatement. ASHLEY: So if-if-if Revivify
is not working-- AABRIA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: -- isn't that a god thing? LAURA: Yes, it is.
AABRIA: Yeah. ASHLEY: So if
that's not there-- Well--
LAURA: But Deanna was able to heal us. TRAVIS: "Well."
AABRIA: Yeah. LAURA: That is-- SAM: Some things
are still working. AABRIA: Yeah. SAM: A couple questions,
King Imathan, Queen Thim-one. Do you-- TRAVIS: Calling them by
their first name. Shit. SAM: Can you tell us,
just out of curiosity, we've heard that
the Allhammer temple is one of the temples here. What other temples, what other gods are
represented here around town? AABRIA: There's a
Dawnfather's temple, too. MATT: (Queen)
"Dawnfather, Erathis, "there's all manner of
temples--" (King) "Through the city,
should you look around. "Keep your eyes abound on
the central and upper disc, "the Deliberation
and Volition Discs. "If you have an an eye
and memory for divinity, "If you have an an eye
and memory for divinity, "you should be able
to locate them." TRAVIS: What about
the Duskmaven? Matron of Ravens?
Is there a temple? MATT: "There is a
Matron temple as well, "though not as largely
represented here, perhaps, "as some other cities.
That is a more recent edition, I believe. SAM: I know that we already
asked for quite a lot, the tailor,
the gift certificate, the transport when it's
available, that kind of stuff, but might we inquire
if we could be outfitted with transportation
to this Molaesmyr place, in case we wanted to go? TRAVIS: Goats! They're faster
over the mountain. MATT: "You intend to travel
to Molaesmyr?" SAM: If we are able to. It seems like that's
where this all started, and it seems like that's-- TRAVIS: If our research
leads there. If the glory of Uthodurn be supported by such effort. (laughter) LAURA: That is true!
AABRIA: I Prestidigitation a little poof of wind-- MATT: (wind blowing) SAM: But also maps and
stuff might help us. LAURA: Yeah. But it's true. If we could find something to give us insight
into Ludinus' motivations to give us insight
into Ludinus' motivations or even weaknesses, if
you have any information, something that can
help us stop him. CHRISTIAN: Is there anyone
still alive besides yourself that might have
known him personally? MATT: "There's not many. Not
within the city, at least. "There are a handful
at Bysaes Tyl "to the southwest of here, "north side of the Empire. "Maybe some within
the Vellum Steeple. "They might be ones to ask
about the dangers of Molaesmyr, "since they maintain most
of the studies surrounding it "and send adventuring
interests there on occasion. "I will also say, "if you're looking
to travel there, that "it definitely easier across
the Alps via goat, "or if you wish to do the
Rime Plains via horse. "There is the Odakar orc
people of Boroftkrah "who exist there as well, "that if you tell
them you are "allied with the
Diarchy of Uthodurn, "they will treat
you as friends. "However, once you
are within "the shadowed embrace
of the Savalirwood, "threats grow exponentially. "Be mindful of raiders and the
corrupt denizens of the wood. "You would take care to
traverse the woods on foot, "should you be confident in
the lightness of your steps. "For a shorter journey, "you could raft down
the Boreal Omen River, "but you are at the mercy
of the rapids there "and whatever stalks
the banks along the way. "But the ruins lie near
the crossroads of the river "in the very heart
of the Savalirwood. "If we could provide
them with a means "of seeing where
they're going." And one of them
produces a map. (cheering) LAURA: You asked
the right question! TRAVIS: Oh shit!
AABRIA: Good job! TRAVIS: ♪ FCG ♪ SAM: ♪ Easy as
one, two, three ♪ AABRIA: Uh-oh. What is it?
MATT: ♪ I'll find the right one ♪ ASHLEY: Oh! LAURA: Oh, Fearney Poppins! CHRISTIAN: That's great.
ASHLEY: Flaming monkeys. Baby worm. CHRISTIAN: "Drop offs
welcome." MATT: There it is.
TRAVIS: Is this it? ASHLEY: "Drop Offs welcome." CHRISTIAN: "You will fall"
(laughs). TRAVIS: This is-- LAURA: (laughs) You will
fall-- in love. MATT: Eh, it's somewhere,
I'll find it later. I thought it was over with the
rest of the maps, and it's not. ASHLEY: "Sending spells
aren't working, "but maybe just
scream real loud." MATT: That's all right.
AABRIA: It's good! MATT: That's all right. But provides a map for you
for the Greying Wildlands. SAM: (overly forceful)
Where's the map?! LAURA: He just said
he couldn't find it. SAM: (even louder)
I want it, though! MATT: Too bad. AABRIA: Interesting. TRAVIS: FCG, listen.
AABRIA: Interesting reaction. TRAVIS: Emotion wheel,
bring it down a little. SAM: Sorry. CHRISTIAN: I'll go up to FCG
and put my hand on his shoulder. SAM: I will turn it to tired. (laughter) AABRIA: Your Majesty, is there anything
about the Savalirwood that you're not
really mentioning? Not in a bad way, but just, it seems like it's
a sensitive subject. MATT: (King) "There's not
anything that I'm holding back. "I have not returned to the
site since its destruction." TRAVIS: Dang. MATT: "As I've had people here
to govern and it's too dangerous "for someone of my
responsibilities to do so." AABRIA: Of course. MATT: "Most of the individuals
at the Vellum Steeple "have been spearheading
those studies, "so I wish I could
offer more, "but all I have are "sorrowful memories
of what once was." SAM: You know, the warm
embrace of a lover could really put
those at ease. MATT: He gives you
an odd look, goes-- SAM: In general. MATT: "I am long past such--" SAM: Oh.
AABRIA: Does that go away? LAURA: Do I still have
my Detect Thoughts up? (laughter) AABRIA: Chetney? MATT: You do, and you see
a flash in his mind of a younger elven man
that just passes through with a sad remembrance. CHRISTIAN: Did we all just take
a moment for his love life? (laughter)
CHRISTIAN: Did that just happen? Okay. MATT: "Regardless--"
SAM: Okay. MATT: "-- if you indeed
intend to take this journey "and are to return thereafter "for your request
of transportation "once our mages or druidic
specialists return, "any relics you might find "that would be of interest to
the Steeple or the Diarchy, "I'm certain will
be paid for well." TRAVIS: Of course, yes. AABRIA: Sure.
SAM: Thank you. CHRISTIAN: What if
they don't return? Is there a failsafe?
Is there a backup plan? If the magic isn't working and
we know that, Your Highness, maybe they've poofed into somewhere they're
not supposed to be. MATT: "Indeed, and
as a failsafe, "we've sent scouting
parties on foot "to a number of
these same allies. "The travel is much
more protracted. "I will warn, however,
the Savalirwood "is to the north
of Shadycreek Run. "There are a number of "untoward figures of power "and illegal "dire practice
within that city. "The Savalirwood is both a
place of preference for them "where they can hide "within the shadows of
which they crawl from "and where they can steal
and take as they please. "It is a lawless expense. "They enjoy that space
between civilization. "So be warned who you
trust out there." LAURA: How long of
a trek is it? MATT: "Depending on
the path you take, "a little over a week." LAURA: Oh. You said your people
that can transport would be back within a week? MATT: The Queen goes, "A week or two is
what we're hoping, "that was-- "if not sooner." SAM: Great. Well then, this
will line up perfect then. CHRISTIAN: Well, you said
the clerics in this city, the holy people,
they're spooked? I understand that, but forgive me, it just seems like
now would be the perfect time to have them available to the
people and to Your Highness and to those who
are trying to help. MATT: The Queen nods. "I will reach out and proffer
them the recommendation. "However, in spaces
of worship, "we try not to delve
and push too deep, "just as they try to not
involve with the politics "of our people as much. "But we will
meaningfully reach out." CHRISTIAN: I think the people
need them now more than ever. MATT: "I'm inclined to agree. "I'm not as faithful as I
may have been in my youth, "at least not for some time, "but I would be lying if
I didn't say recent days "haven't made
me feel a bit... "longing for outer comfort." CHRISTIAN: Likewise,
Your Highness. ASHLEY: My Queen,
do you have-- Is there a temple for
the Wildmother here? Is there a temple for
the Wildmother here? MATT: "Not within the city." ASHLEY: Oh.
MATT: "But, "there is a faint set
of stairs that climb "about a quarter mile to the
left of the main entrance. "If, with a keen eye,
you should find it "and there is a shrine built
atop the mountain tower there." ASHLEY: Okay. MATT: "You may find
a handful of keepers "that could help you,
if that's your interest." ASHLEY: Oh, I'm not
interested at all. It's just for a friend. MATT: "Great." AABRIA: Before we leave, I think Deanna's
going to step forward and pick a high light
on the wall and cast a little bit
of ray of sunlight that falls on
the king and queen and casts Bless on them. Well, if the Dawnfather, he's still extant. Even if you don't feel him
all the time, they're there. Thank you for
protecting the city. MATT: "Thank you for
protecting it as well. "And to that point," and she gives a slight clap and you see a figure step
forward with a small chest. The king goes, "One of our sentinels
who gave his life "in the protection
of many of us. "The family has requested "that his armament
be passed on to you "as a thanks and a means
of keeping you safe "in whatever
journeys are ahead." They step up front and lift
it up and begin to produce a beautiful set of
half plate armor. It is metal, so you're not
entirely sure what kind, but it is very well made. It looks like it
is strong, but light. The plates are thin,
but intricately carved. You can see there
are dwarven edges as well as
Elvish scrolling across and bits of chain that
connect between the two. It is mainly--
it's not a full set, just mainly like leg plates the breast plate, pauldrons,
and some arm guards. But the set is
set down before you. LAURA: What is it,
just a light metal? Is it just a light? MATT: It looks like
a shiny platinum with gold designs
around with-- CHRISTIAN: Looks tasty. AABRIA: No, don't eat it. TRAVIS: Sh. Sh.
CHRISTIAN: Sorry, sorry. ASHLEY: It looks like that
would fit me perfectly. SAM: Oh yeah, it's perfect
for your character. (laughter) LAURA: No, but it could
be interesting, yeah. TRAVIS: On FCG, I agree. SAM: Thank you so much.
AABRIA: Thank you. I'll grab it. MATT: (King) "Thank you
for all you've done "and if indeed
you take this journey "to my, many of our,
previous home, "good luck. "Stay safe, above all else. "And when you return, "we look forward to
hearing of your exploits." AABRIA: If you want
to make an appointment, I live up on
the Volition Disc. Just let me know some
free times for your tailor. Thank you so much.
MATT: He points over and the person
finishes writing and hands out
documentation that waives any cost. (exclaiming) MATT: At the specifically-- TRAVIS: Crown is balling. MATT: At Catlyn
Delafin's Clothier. TRAVIS: Oh, snap.
ASHLEY: Oh my goodness. SAM: Catlyn Delafin?
CHRISTIAN: She's very good. AABRIA: She's so good.
CHRISTIAN: Very good, indeed. TRAVIS: Woo. SAM: Okay, let's go. TRAVIS: Going to Milan, y'all.
SAM: Thank you, bye. AABRIA: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Mm-hmm. AABRIA: Uthodurn
Fashion Week. MATT: All right,
you exit the Citadel, glow and butterflies
of the experience beginning to fade
as you exit the chamber and exit the Citadel proper, back into the Grand Disc
and the city and the future events
are yours. What do you wish to do? SAM: Oh boy.
AABRIA: Oh my gosh. ASHLEY: Wow.
AABRIA: That was so cool! TRAVIS: The Vellum Steeple's
down on this-- nope. Is it on the disc above us? I think it is one up.
AABRIA: Yeah, it's one up. TRAVIS: But so are most
of the shibbitty shops, so we can stop by
the Steeple and then-- AABRIA: What about
going to Jaquoby's? LAURA: I know, we do need to
check on Jaquoby, yeah. TRAVIS: Oh yes, yes, yes. SAM: And then the tailors.
We have so much to do. Should we split up? TRAVIS: Is Jaquoby on
the Deliberation Disc? Is he on the-- CHRISTIAN: I think
he's on the-- MATT: Jaquoby's on
the Volition Disc, yeah. SAM: FRIDA and I
could go see Jaquoby while you all
go to the tailor. LAURA: Sure. SAM: Or do you want to all
go to the soothsayer place? SAM: Or do you want to all
go to the soothsayer place? AABRIA: The soothsayers?
SAM: The Vellum Steeple. CHRISTIAN: Oh.
LAURA: The Vellum Steeple, oh. TRAVIS: You can pick up
records for that, but who's wearing the armor? I was serious. SAM: Oh, I will, can
I cast Identify on it? MATT: Indeed, you can. This is mithral
half plate plus one. LAURA: Whoa.
AABRIA: Let's go. TRAVIS: Mithral half plate what?
AABRIA: Deanna puts it on-- MATT: Plus one.
AABRIA: -- and leaves the campaign. LAURA and CHRISTIAN: (laugh) MATT: There you go.
CHRISTIAN: She's gone. TRAVIS: Dang. CHRISTIAN: Does it come
in emerald green? (laughter) MATT: Not this one, it's
largely gold and silver. AABRIA: That will clash
with your rose gold. CHRISTIAN: Tastes real good, though.
AABRIA: Ugh. CHRISTIAN: Better keep it tied on my body.
TRAVIS: Can't have that. AABRIA: Can't have that. TRAVIS: Well, we could
stop by the Steeple and collect our
things as we move up. AABRIA: Sure.
SAM: Sure. Is Steeple the first
stop on the up? TRAVIS: It would be on
the Deliberation Disc. So maybe we could-- Well, we were also
going to ask him about the dangers
of Molaesmyr, so. Do you want to split up? SAM: Sure. AABRIA: Can I do an
insight check on FCG? That was a very
specific split up. LAURA: (laughs) AABRIA: He's paying a lot
of attention to my friend and I don't know how I
feel about that yet. MATT: Okay, make
an insight check. You can make a persuasion or
deception check, your choice. AABRIA: Don't worry,
I rolled two on the dice. SAM: What if I roll a
one? You don't know. AABRIA: You don't know.
SAM: I did. I did not, I rolled higher. AABRIA: Well, that's fine.
MATT: Hard to read. AABRIA: All right. MATT: All right, so the both of
you are heading up towards-- SAM: I think-- Well,
it's up to all of us. This is a democracy.
TRAVIS: Sure. Sure.
AABRIA: Go ahead. SAM: Just to sort
of be efficient, we have to go to
the Vellum Steeple, at least FRIDA and I have to
go see, Jaquoby and then-- TRAVIS: I got to
cut open Drixlitch. SAM: Sure.
CHRISTIAN: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. SAM: There's clothes to buy,
there's goats to pick up. TRAVIS: Yep. That's all on the way out,
the goats and everything. That's all up at the top. SAM: Are we setting,
are we going off today or are we going
to take a day off? TRAVIS: No, we got time.
LAURA: We're really going to the Savalirwoods,
just like-- SAM: I mean--
LAURA: We're just going? SAM: I don't know, what
do you guys think? AABRIA: The faster we
leave, the faster-- SAM: What do we do here?
AABRIA: -- we get back. SAM: What do we
do in this town? There's nothing to do here. We're just sitting here.
LAURA: True. AABRIA: Okay, that's a little
rude, but not inaccurate. (laughter) AABRIA: I think maybe if
you have something to do you won't fret as much. TRAVIS: Also, we can--
AABRIA: You all seem a bit stressed. TRAVIS: We are a
little tightly wound. AABRIA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Hey. We could also stop by the
Duskmaven Matron of Ravens temple and see-- They were all so focused
on that particular deity over by the Key, right? LAURA: That is true. TRAVIS: So I wanted
to see if maybe, it cracked or something.
AABRIA: Why her? TRAVIS: I don't know. ASHLEY: Maybe there's some-- LAURA: Maybe the matron had--
ASHLEY: Maybe they know something. LAURA: -- some sort
of immunity to it? That's dumb. But why would they agree
to worship a deity that they knew was
about to be devoured? TRAVIS: Yeah, what was different
about her than the others? CHRISTIAN: Do you know
what her domain is? What she's the deity of?
ASHLEY: Do you know? LAURA: Death, I believe.
AABRIA: Can I make a-- CHRISTIAN: Well, you
can't destroy death. TRAVIS: Please do. AABRIA: Can I make
a religion check? MATT: To?
AABRIA: To just, what do I know about? Is it common knowledge
that the Matron of Ravens is an ascended mortal? ASHLEY: Come on, come on. MATT: I think it's common
knowledge of people of, you know, moderate
to high schooling. So the average commoner probably just knows her
as the god of death. AABRIA: Yeah. Okay.
MATT: Those who've attended some level of higher learning would probably have
had to learn about it at some point in history. You can make a history
check yourself. History or religion,
your choice. CHRISTIAN: I would love-- AABRIA: It doesn't matter.
CHRISTIAN: If it's okay with all of you, I'd like to speak with Deanna
privately for a moment. AABRIA: Dying. LAURA: You want us
to leave the tower? CHRISTIAN: No, I mean-- AABRIA: I've never known a thing
and we're good leaving it there. MATT: Yeah.
AABRIA: I've never had a thought. MATT: No, you know these
places are creepy. TRAVIS: What is happening? Do you just want
to put it over here? AABRIA: I don't.
TRAVIS: Do you want to borrow one? AABRIA: I don't want to make yours bad.
LAURA: Stop using the big one. LAURA: You keep using--
AABRIA: They're all bad. They're all bad. TRAVIS: I was looking for
something above a 10, you know? AABRIA: Yeah, I would love
to know what that's like. MATT: You were saying you wanted
to talk to Deanna privately? CHRISTIAN: Yeah, I'll
pull Deanna to the side. Deanna, I know--
AABRIA: Hey. CHRISTIAN: Our new
friends are stressed, but I know you, and,
are you okay? AABRIA: Oh, I'm great.
I'm doing so good. This is good and
not stressful. CHRISTIAN: This is
a lot of commotion. We haven't had this much
commotion in a long time. AABRIA: Well, I feel like
ever since Eiselcross, which was terrifying--
CHRISTIAN: Yes. AABRIA: -- every new day
has been more terrifying-- CHRISTIAN: Yes.
AABRIA: -- than the last. You seem so cool about it, and I'm trying to match your
chill, and I don't have it. I do not have it in me. CHRISTIAN: Can I share
a secret with you? AABRIA: Yes, please. CHRISTIAN: I don't
know exactly if I'm feeling the
exact feeling, but (whispering) I think I
have a crush on FCG. AABRIA: I knew it.
I knew I felt something. CHRISTIAN: I didn't
even know I could. AABRIA: Oh my
god, that's so-- CHRISTIAN: But the other night
in my room, we got very close. Yeah, it was special. AABRIA: Oh my god, I'm so-- Immediately hug you. So, that's wonderful. CHRISTIAN: You're
not mad at me? AABRIA: I could never be mad
at you, not for anything. CHRISTIAN: Okay, because it's not
like I'm trying to replace you. AABRIA: No!
CHRISTIAN: Or anything like that. It's just, it's
different with him. He understands me in a way that I've never
been understood and I've had all these
questions in my head. Why am I here? What am I? And now there's someone
that is a reflection of me and I think I can help him. AABRIA: Yeah, and you should. CHRISTIAN: Okay.
And you're okay? AABRIA: I love you
with my whole heart. Of course. CHRISTIAN: I love you
with my entire core. (laughter) AABRIA: Whatever you need. Okay, I might be a little
melodramatic right now. CHRISTIAN: Don't cry
or I'm going to oil. AABRIA: I'm not crying. This is a normal reaction
to meeting royalty. If anything happens,
and we're helping them, but you are so,
you're so good at this. If something happens and maybe you have a chance to go on a
different adventure just know that you
could never disappoint me or make me mad
or sad-- I can't. Just follow your heart. We only get the one life, unless you're me. TRAVIS: (laughs) AABRIA: Okay? CHRISTIAN: I don't
want to leave you. AABRIA: I know. But the world's different now and you'll never
really leave me. CHRISTIAN: Okay. AABRIA: Not that--
It's a lot. I just wanted to--
I'm holding space if that's the conversation
we need to have later. But you can broach it. You can tell me anything. CHRISTIAN: I just hug you. AABRIA: Oh. Okay. CHRISTIAN: Don't say
anything to him. AABRIA: No, no, no, no. But if he does
anything mean to you I'm going to blast
his little ass all the way back
to the Changebringer. You feel me? CHRISTIAN: I feel you. AABRIA: He breaks your
heart, I break his neck. CHRISTIAN: Hey,
for the record. AABRIA: Yeah. CHRISTIAN: Mr. Pock O'Pea's
a good man. AABRIA: Oh. I think he's moved on. Have you seen Fearne? CHRISTIAN: Have you seen
the way he looks at you? AABRIA: Oh. Different conversation,
different time. CHRISTIAN: Okay,
good talk to you. AABRIA: Good talk, good talk. CHRISTIAN: I love you. AABRIA: I love you. CHRISTIAN: Fresh Cut Grass? SAM: Huh? (laughter) AABRIA: Where were you? SAM: Sorry. CHRISTIAN: If you need
a traveling buddy, I'm your traveling buddy. SAM: Oh! Great. Is that okay with everybody
if we just sort of-- TRAVIS: Sure.
SAM: -- go off to do-- AABRIA: Jaquoby's is super boring.
We can go do anything else. CHRISTIAN: That is not true. TRAVIS: Yeah, if you
want to go to Jaquoby's and we go to the
Vellum Steeple, do you want to meet
back at Deanna's? Or maybe at Catlyn's? AABRIA: (groans) Catlyn's.
SAM: Sure. I would say we can
just message you, but I don't know if we can. LAURA: I don't know. AABRIA: There's clocks
everywhere in here. Let's use time. SAM: Oh! That's a great idea.
LAURA: Yeah. AABRIA: Everyone's got two hours.
LAURA: Sure. SAM: Two hours. At-- TRAVIS: 4:00pm.
SAM: At Catlyn's. AABRIA: Yes.
SAM: Okay, great. TRAVIS: Cool.
MATT: You got it. All righty. So going to Jaquoby's. Where are the
rest of you going? TRAVIS: The Vellum Steeple. MATT: Okay. Let's jump into the
Vellum Steeple first. TRAVIS and SAM: Yeah.
MATT: You return to the familiar halls of the Vellum Steeple
from the day before. They're continuing the
business as they were. It still seems
very closed off. It's less open. But as you enter
the front door it's not locked at
the very least and it takes you a while
to be helped by a clerk. But, in that interim, you do manage to get
face time once again with the Scribewarden Ressia, who you've spoken
with previously, who returns with
her pompadour still a bit disheveled
from the day's work before she coifs it back
and reenters the chamber. "Hello again. I
assume you're here "to collect your
requested research. "Yes?" TRAVIS: Yes, as newly minted--
MATT: "Indeed." TRAVIS: "-- protectors
of the Diarchy." AABRIA: Yep.
SAM: P.o.D. MATT: "Excuse me?" AABRIA: Yeah, we're here
from the king and queen. LAURA: Yeah, did we
get anything to flash, like a little medallion?
AABRIA: Yeah, like a button. MATT: You have a decree, a sealed decree.
TRAVIS: Captain's wing? AABRIA: Yeah.
CHRISTIAN: (laughing) Captian's wing. AABRIA: Ooh, we got
to go in the cockpit. TRAVIS: Yeah.
MATT: (laughs) "What? "Oh, I'd heard the event
yesterday in the street. "I didn't realize
that was you. "Oh! Hmm. "Excuse my brusqueness
the day before. "I didn't realize I was
in the presence of heroes." AABRIA: You could be nice
to anyone, but okay. (laughter) MATT: "Regardless." Goes through with
this long stack of papers and leather bound, collections of vellum and
notes and they pull one off. It's this thin little,
almost like a bound book, about that big
with a bunch of paper of different sizes
and textures that are all woven in, stitched into
a singular book. Hand it over. "This is a dossier
on Ludinus Da'leth." LAURA: Wow.
CHRISTIAN: Wow. AABRIA: And just put it
on Imathan's tab. Thank you. LAURA: (laughs) Oh, do you have
any information on the Savalirwood and
particularly Molaesmyr? TRAVIS: The fall
of Molaesmyr. LAURA: Fall of Molaesmyr. MATT: "We have
quite a bit, yes. "Why do you ask? "Do you need anything
in particular?" LAURA: I believe we're going
to be traveling there shortly. TRAVIS: Yes, the king and
queen mentioned that there might be
some in the Steeple that were from there or
have ranger experience in expeditions in that area, could provide some insight
on what to look out for. MATT: "I'll be right back. "The person you should speak
with I believe is here today." TRAVIS: Oh.
AABRIA: How convenient. MATT: She leaves the chamber. AABRIA: She's much
nicer now. (chuckles) MATT: A short time later,
you see an elven male enter the chamber
alongside her, a very dower-looking
male elf. Short, short, dirty blond hair with a bit of
a chin strap beard that comes to a fine goatee-
like point at the bottom. No mustache. I don't know
how else to put it. He kind of looks
like Troy Baker. (laughter) TRAVIS: That's
a handsome-ass elf. MATT: He's just, he's just-- TRAVIS: Elven male.
Troy Baker. MATT: He's stern and
skinny and walks in, strikes a pose
almost as he stands, wearing travel leathers
in here. ASHLEY: Where do you
get your hair done? LAURA: Yeah, have you
been working out? MATT: Gives you a stern look. "This is Chief Auditor
Keenash Serevoldin, "who is one of the researchers
of the Woodset Auditors "who specialize
in the Savalirwood. "I believe you can
take it from here." She leaves the chamber,
he goes, "So I'm told you're going
to the Savalirwood." TRAVIS: That's correct,
Chief Auditor Kinash Saratalden. SAM: (laughs) AABRIA: Serevoldin. LAURA: Serevoldin.
TRAVIS: Are you sure? AABRIA: No.
LAURA: Serevoldin? MATT: "Serevoldin." TRAVIS: Damn it.
AABRIA: Got it. ASHLEY: Kinash is
the first name? MATT: "Keenash." ASHLEY: Keenash. MATT: Crosses his arms and
leans into the back wall. ASHLEY: It's like knish.
AABRIA: What is this? CHRISTIAN: Like ganache.
AABRIA: Is there a vibe here? What's going on?
TRAVIS: We are. Well, it feels that way. We seek details about
the fall of Molaesmyr. Hit me with that wind.
AABRIA: Yeah, I got you. TRAVIS: Fall of Molaesmyr
and any insight you might provide
on current events. LAURA: I give Fearne
some wind, too, just because it
looks good on her. AABRIA: Oh, it does. TRAVIS: Oh shit,
look at that. AABRIA: Everyone's so windy. I give a little to Imogen. Y'all get some. TRAVIS: We're all
just four like. (laughter) AABRIA: It's so breezy in here.
TRAVIS: Fucking hurricane in the foyer. (laughter) MATT: The need. TRAVIS: It's drying
out my mouth. ASHLEY: It's so cold. (laughter) MATT: "All right, well, "you certainly look
like the kind of folks "who are a motley crew. "All right."
TRAVIS: Thank you. AABRIA: Do you like
that about us? MATT: "I don't know. "What's your experience
wandering into "most dangerous
places in Exandria?" AABRIA: We're fresh back
from Eiselcross, baby. I've seen some shit. MATT: "All right. "All right, all right. "Well--
ASHLEY: We weren't in Eisen-- AABRIA: (shushes) All of us together.
ASHLEY: All of us were there. AABRIA: I think it's working. MATT: "The woods
are heavily cursed. "The very nature
of the nature itself "seems to be
hungry, consuming. "All the natural denizens
of a once beautiful place "are now themselves
swollen with dark magic. "They tend to
shift and mutate. "The line between
beings sometimes blurs. "The shadows seem
to move on their own, "speaking into your mind. "Yet even the nature of the
dark curse that lays there "seems to be fluid. "Some creatures that
were the biggest dangers "but a hundred years ago
have not been seen since. "And new dangers continue to "rise from the darkness
every few months. "It's always a mix up. "So, kind of hard to know
what you're getting into." AABRIA: Are they
weak to anything? Other than gruff
charm, I guess? MATT: "I mean,
shades and shadows "tend to dislike sunlight, "and there are many,
many, many ghosts "that wander that wood."
AABRIA: Cool, tight. I'm not worried. Let's go.
TRAVIS: (laughs) MATT: "Many have
fallen there. "Many of our brethren. "They were not let the gift
of passing beyond the veil." AABRIA: Hm?
TRAVIS: Oh. MATT: "Their spirits linger
and have been been corrupted "by the curse
that presides, so." LAURA: Oh.
AABRIA: Mm! MATT: "Hungry souls
wander those woods." AABRIA: Shoot. ASHLEY: So if you die there, that's where you stay.
AABRIA: You die in real life. LAURA: Well, if you die now, there's no bringing
anybody back. CHRISTIAN: Mm-hmm.
LAURA: So. TRAVIS: Yeah. Duskmaven shit. MATT: "The ruins themselves
have been largely reclaimed "by the woods as well. "Most of the
abodes, homesteads, "and the majority of the
structures of Molaesmyr "have been reintegrated." CHRISTIAN: Ooh. MATT: "From what we've
been able to gather, "the source of this
corruption seems to dig "from deep beneath the city "where the, well, some
of the final research "was attempted before
it broke free." AABRIA: Was Molaesmyr on a leyline? TRAVIS: Nice. AABRIA: That was the word they said, right?
TRAVIS: So fucking sold it. AABRIA: Yeah.
TRAVIS: Yeah. AABRIA: That thing
we all know about. MATT: He goes, "I don't-- "I don't rightfully
know, actually. "It's a little beyond my "learning and experience." AABRIA: When I get
back I'll learn-- I got to go. I'm done. I'm done, I tapped out.
TRAVIS: Wow. Somebody's horny on main.
AABRIA: I'm not, I know. I was trying to, like,
match an energy. LAURA: Do we know if
the fall of Molaesmyr happened during a solstice? MATT: "I believe so. "I wasn't around
for it, but." LAURA: That was
what the king said. During the solstice.
TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: "It was one of
the events that helped "to reinforce the
name Moon of Ill-Omen." LAURA: All right.
ASHLEY: What did you say? LAURA: The Moon of Ill-Omen. ASHLEY: Oh, okay.
CHRISTIAN: Oh. TRAVIS: The red moon.
CHRISTIAN: I heard one name, Moonavaloom.
LAURA: Oh, yeah. CHRISTIAN: I was like,
that's a good name. MATT: "That's my cousin, actually."
LAURA: Moonavaloom. (laughter) LAURA: Popular
baby names of 2024. CHRISTIAN: Moonavaloom.
LAURA: Moonavillomenum. CHRISTIAN: Right
behind Timothy. MATT: It's number
three in Uthodurn. Just under Liam.
LAURA: Imathan. (laughter) TRAVIS: Thank you.
This will prove-- LAURA: I actually
really like Imathan. TRAVIS: -- I'm sure
very helpful. Anything else
we can think of? Ludinus Da'leth, the
fall of Molaesmyr. The Savalirwood The corruption. Weaknesses.
AABRIA: Yep. LAURA: Any information
on god eaters? MATT: "Can't say I do." AABRIA: Insight check.
TRAVIS: Yeah, that was weird. MATT: Make an insight check.
TRAVIS: That was a weird reaction. ASHLEY: Guidance!
AABRIA: Thank you. TRAVIS: That's north
of a 10, baby. AABRIA: It was just that die.
ASHLEY: There it is. AABRIA: It's okay,
we're going to be okay. What's a d4 look like? TRAVIS: Just preparing.
AABRIA: Who could have said-- Plus nine, 29. MATT: Woo!
AABRIA: Yeah! SAM: What the heck is going on?
AABRIA: Whispers for your girl! SAM: So many whispers tonight.
AABRIA: Let's go! SAM: I don't know what
to talk about, guys. Midst, it's a podcast. It's out right now.
LAURA: Hey! SAM: You should go listen
to it or watch it. You can listen or watch it. CHRISTIAN: I'm working on that.
ASHLEY: Great. SAM: Also, Aabria's beanie
brought to you tonight by my wife, Quyen Tran. TRAVIS: Hey, cool.
CHRISTIAN: Cool! SAM: She knitted that.
LAURA: Pretty! CHRISTIAN: It works with
her hair color, too. SAM: I know, right?
CHRISTIAN: It's on brand. On brand. ASHLEY: Do we ask about--
TRAVIS: Is it made out of cat fur? SAM: And Travis' beanie
knitted by Adidas. (laughter) AABRIA: Thank you, Q!
It's so comfy. MATT: "Are you seriously
taking this journey then?" TRAVIS: Seems like it. We're going to get some new
threads first, you know, because if you're going to go,
you got to go in style. LAURA: Oh yeah, is there
anything you would recommend? MATT: As soon as you say that,
he leans back a little bit to show off his very
well tailored, leather armor.
TRAVIS: Oh shit. MATT: Got a nice scarf
and everything. TRAVIS: Woo!
LAURA: (laughs) Yeah. AABRIA: So squeaky.
ASHLEY: Ascot. MATT: "Well, I mean, if
you're looking for the best "functional and stylish
threads here in Uthodurn, "Catlyn's is the way to go "if you can afford her."
AABRIA: Everyone wants Catlyn. LAURA: Oh, we can afford her. AABRIA: We are protectors
of the city, little boy. Go. Go on. Get. ASHLEY: Yeah. TRAVIS: She's excited.
She's excited. We had a big day. MATT: "I think this not very
little boy will get. "Thank you very much."
TRAVIS: Thank you. Do you have a
recommendation of gear or things we need for--
AABRIA: You like this. TRAVIS: Okay. AABRIA: You like this. (laughter) MATT: Leaves the room
with a bit of a huff. SAM: Got no game.
AABRIA: What? SAM: He's got no game!
AABRIA: None. SAM: None. AABRIA: He didn't know
anything extra. He's just a weird little
guy that survived. ASHLEY: Okay. TRAVIS: How thick is
the packet on Ludinus? Is it a book or is it
kind of thin? MATT: It's kind of thin.
TRAVIS: God. (rapid gnaws)
AABRIA: Shit. ASHLEY: All right, well
it's something. It's something.
AABRIA: You can just ask his corpse later. Kill him! TRAVIS: We can start ♪ makin' our way ♪
up to Catlyn's and I guess we can
read and peruse the-- LAURA: Yeah.
MATT: Yeah. To give you a little
bit of overview. Most of it is, I mean,
it's threadbare in the sense that there
just isn't a lot recorded about
his history. He seems to be
rather aloof, and his public facing
persona really emerges with the Cerberus Assembly, specifically what's called
the Eve of Crimson Midnight, which was an event within
the Dwendalian Empire around the time that the
Julous Dominion still existed. Many of the various
noble mages between the two
factions essentially began to wage war in
the middle of the city. Number of innocents were
hurt and killed. Ludinus was considered
one of the heroes who stopped the assault. And through that,
used that event to get the king of the
Empire at the time to approve the creation of
the Cerberus Assembly with him as the head.
(oohing) ASHLEY: I'm sure.
LAURA: He did it. He started it.
AABRIA: He loved it. ASHLEY: The crimson--
TRAVIS: Ludinus-- ASHLEY: What?
MATT, SAM, and AABRIA: Midnight. ASHLEY: Midnight.
TRAVIS: Fucker. LAURA: It's all red.
AABRIA: It's all moon shit. MATT: It does talk
about his time as one of the lower council
members of Molaesmyr. He was respected,
if endured at times. He began a very forthright and functioning
member of society. Then as time went on, he began to become frustrating
for some people. There was tension with him and the various temples
and those of worshiping aesthetic, I
guess you could call it. He largely spent
most of his time within the Gildhollow Tower, which it says was in the
northwestern side of the city. It talks about a lot
of the things he's done as part of the
Cerberus Assembly. A lot of the laws
that he's helped enact. The creation of the Assembly, all the different mages that
have come in and out of the structure through
the years. Talks about the various
conflicts that he's helmed, including being one
of the main figures who helped with the completion
of the dissolution of the Julous Dominion
and absorption of it into the Dwendalian Empire. It also speaks of how
he was recently lauded as helping end the
War of Ash and Light between the Empire and
the Kryn Dynasty almost a decade or so before. SAM: What a hero. TRAVIS: The northwest part
of the city of Molaesmyr, the guild of what tower? MATT: The Gildhollow Tower. TRAVIS: Gildhollow Tower. It's only the third time
you've mentioned it, sorry. MATT: His title is the
Archmage of Domestic Protections of the Dwendalian Empire. He has helmed
imperial tactics during all major
large scale conflicts the Empire's had since the
creation of the Assembly, but his present public life
in politics is very demure, even to this day. Most people who discuss
him publicly say of all the
Assembly members, he seems to be one
of the more pleasant. AABRIA: Hmm. TRAVIS: Yeah, I bet. AABRIA: He seems nice. CHRISTIAN: You talking
about Ludinus? MATT: Yeah. TRAVIS: Luda! MATT: They do also note, apparently he immigrated
from Issylra originally to Molaesmyr. It was not his homestead. TRAVIS: (whispers)
What the fuck? LAURA: Issylra.
MATT: Issylra. SAM: Immigrants. They get the job done.
TRAVIS: You know, like the first city. LAURA: Yeah. He's ancient. Does it say how old they think he is?
AABRIA: Birth certificate? MATT: No, they say when he came
to Molaesmyr, which is where, it says he came to Molaesmyr
from a town called Ivaadel. TRAVIS: Damn, he's
dying right now. LAURA: (laughs) MATT: From Issylra, so
an elvish community, but was, was seemed to be a
young elf from Issylra who can to Molaesmyr to
study and stayed there for a number of centuries--
LAURA: A young adult? MATT: -- before its
destruction. Yeah. TRAVIS: At least we'll be
able to bring up old shit if we see him again. ASHLEY: Say again? TRAVIS: We'll be able to
bring up some old shit. Throw receipts.
ASHLEY: Oh, yeah. TRAVIS: We'll get inside
that armor, you know? If we can reach him. I got hands on him. Did you know?
AABRIA: What? What's that mean? TRAVIS: I got my
claws into him. I wrapped him up, and bitch-ass threw
me over my shoulder and onto a spike,
got impaled. He's a handy, handy
old-ass elf. AABRIA: But you're fine? TRAVIS: It sucked.
I'm not going to lie. AABRIA: Okay.
TRAVIS: Yeah, but-- AABRIA: Don't do that again.
TRAVIS: Round two's coming. AABRIA: Yeah, get his ass.
TRAVIS: That's right. ASHLEY: Like what's
up, Crimson Midnight? TRAVIS: That's right. I got your
Gildhollow Tower here. AABRIA: Yeah. ASHLEY: There was something
better there that I-- AABRIA: No,
we'll workshop it. ASHLEY: We'll workshop it. Okay. MATT: All right. While you're gathering
to your next venture, the two of you, as you head
upward to the Volition Disc, you're leading FCG to
the abode of-- you're leading FCG to
the abode of-- CHRISTIAN: Jaquoby Macyl.
MATT: -- Jaquoby. All righty. So, passing through the
different districts back up to the Volition Disc, there is a portion of
the city not too far from the Topper Mines, which are this massive
mining organization that is set multiple
times in the city, but its base operations
is here at the top, or at least its original
base operations where does most
of its business and paperwork out
of is now here, but its mining operations
have scattered a bit. But there's a number
of workshop areas and shop yards where
building industry and shop yards where
building industry and materials and large cranes
and things that are used to expand and build the
slow expansion of the city reside when they're
not in use. Through one of these
small districts, there was a rough
shod neighborhood of shacks and simple abodes. One particular place
that you recognize is the modest home and
homestead of Jaquoby Macyl. SAM: As we walk, I'm
going to sort of look everywhere but at FRIDA.
AABRIA: Oh! CHRISTIAN: I think I'm
pointing out different places, like over there, the Topper
mine, a bit of bartering, and I get a bit of
those precious metals if I want to taste
something different. SAM: Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you get bored
of copper, right? CHRISTIAN: Yes, and
ruby is exquisite. I mean, it's a bit
of a problem if you eat it in front of
people because they value it, but tastes good to eat. SAM: Yeah, I haven't
gotten a chance to really taste
a lot lately. Traveling with Bells Hells,
we don't, you know, most of the money
we spend or give away, but I don't really
get a chance to taste a lot of
different things. Wow, look at us. Just a couple of bots
just walking along and just looking at stuff--
CHRISTIAN: Just a couple Aeormatons. SAM: -- and just having a
little stroll in a day. CHRISTIAN: Yeah. This is Jaquoby's. SAM: Oh, we're there already? CHRISTIAN: Yeah, yeah.
SAM: Oh. CHRISTIAN: I was... Yeah, we're here. MATT: Looking at the abode, you can see it looks
like a nice cottage that has some distinct burn
marks on the exterior that have since been
shoddily painted over, but you can still see where the color transition
from the thicker paint goes to thinner and where
it definitely could use a little bit of love. Also, behind that is a
large, storage warehouse that the cottage is
glued to or stapled to, it looks like. This isn't
a focus on aesthetics as much as it is function. You can see there's
two windows that face the front
and the domed, half-circle doorway
that sits at the front with another tiny
window in it with cross set iron
bars in the front. But all of them have
curtains covering, and you can feel a dull
light from the interior. CHRISTIAN: You don't have to go
in right away if you're not ready. SAM: Oh, no, I definitely
want to meet this fellow and get some upgrades
and stuff, and, I just wanted to say
thanks for helping us out for the last couple days and
being so open and generous with your showing us
around, and I don't know. I just feel like it's a rare
thing to meet someone like me, like you, and I just, I'm happy to know you. CHRISTIAN: Like us? SAM: Yeah, like us. I feel like I've
been so focused on figuring out who I am
for the past several months that I haven't really been
open to letting someone else, that I haven't really been
open to letting someone else, you know, get to know me or letting someone
else in, I suppose, and seems like you
knew me right from the moment
we started talking. CHRISTIAN: I hope it's not
too much to say, but I feel very similarly. SAM: Yeah? CHRISTIAN: If I'm being
honest, I've been very angry for a long time about
why I was brought back. But meeting Deanna
and all of you, I think, and you, I think, I think maybe it's
not a bad thing, and maybe I'm given
an opportunity to, to make a new friend and
discover more about myself to make a new friend and
discover more about myself because I'm discovering
more about you. SAM: It's almost like we
get another shot at living, but, I don't know, we get to do whatever
we want this time. And it's wonderful to see, I don't know, how you've
been going about it. You've got such a
confidence and a-- I don't know. CHRISTIAN: I think
I wasn't... I think I wasn't
afraid of anything because I'd already sort
of imagined the worst, but I was wrong. I think that the
worst would be something happening
to Deanna... and now you. SAM: You and Deanna are
special to each other? CHRISTIAN: Yes, yes, I
love her very much. SAM: Hmm. CHRISTIAN: It's not-- SAM: No, it's fine. You know, that's
your person. That's fine.
CHRISTIAN: No, I don't have a person. I don't have a person. Well, she's a person
in my life, yes. But she's not--
AABRIA: Yes. CHRISTIAN: -- she's
not my person. TRAVIS: Okay. CHRISTIAN: Do you
have a person? AABRIA, TRAVIS, and LAURA:
(laugh) SAM: I had a person. CHRISTIAN: Who? SAM: Oh. No, but I don't. I mean I tried to kill her. TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh god. (laughs) SAM: And--
CHRISTIAN: Do you do that often? (laughter) AABRIA: Good cue,
good cue. SAM: No, not very often. CHRISTIAN: Okay.
SAM: But it has been known to happen. And I didn't kill her. I did kill her Pussy,
but I did not kill her. LAURA: Oh goddamn, Sam. MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh) CHRISTIAN: Okay? SAM: That was--
AABRIA: I got to go. CHRISTIAN: Were you
just nervous? SAM: -- that was another
automaton that she had. CHRISTIAN: Oh. Oh, okay, okay, okay. (laughter) CHRISTIAN: Okay. (laughter)
SAM: But no, I don't-- The people in my life
right now are my friends. You've met some of them. There's others, but I
have no special person. CHRISTIAN: I don't mean
to be too forward, but, if I was your special person, would you try and kill me? AABRIA: (whispers)
Just your pussy. CHRISTIAN: (laughs) SAM: Of course not. No, of course not. In fact, I think knowing
that I had someone would probably make me a
little more calm in general. But we got stuff to do, so we should probably
just go do it, right? CHRISTIAN: And I'll lean
in quickly and kiss FCG. TRAVIS: Woo!
AABRIA: (excitedly screeches) Yeah! ASHLEY: Woo! TRAVIS: (laughs) AABRIA: (high pitched squeals)
TRAVIS: Emotion wheel, emotion wheel, emotion wheel! MATT: (laughs)
TRAVIS: Emotion wheel! LAURA: First kiss!
First kiss. Is this the first kiss?
CHRISTIAN: It was on the cheek. It was on the cheek. AABRIA: Oh, exciting!
(laughter) AABRIA: Yes!
MATT: (laughs) Oh god. LAURA: It was a
cheek kiss? SAM: Oh.
LAURA: It's just a cheek kiss. SAM: I'm going to turn over
and meet more lippy if that's-- AABRIA: Nice! MATT: (laughs) There's no tongue! (laughter) AABRIA: Matt, let him
have his art. ASHLEY: (laughs) CHRISTIAN: If my rose gold
cheeks could blush, they would be blushing.
ASHLEY: Aww! MATT: Okay. CHRISTIAN: With that, I'll just give you a
knowing look and-- (knocks) MATT: "Who is it?" CHRISTIAN: Your
favorite Aeormaton. MATT: (screams)
"FRIDA!" (laughs) CHRISTIAN: Yes! MATT: The door opens up and
there you see, immediately. a male gnome of
brown and gray, a wild mat of
hair up top that comes down in these
two dangling sideburn tufts that are at the
sides of his face. This round, bulbous nose
and this bright smile, tiny, beady, dark eyes, who is wearing a standard button up collared shirt
rolled up past the elbows, and you could see it has a little bit of dirt
and grime on his arms, who goes, "(laughs)," goes in for a big hug. "Oh, hi, it's been a while. "It's good to see you. "Wow, oh my goodness. "Oh, you found another?" CHRISTIAN: My
favorite Aeormaton. MATT: "Whoa. "Hi. "Oh, my." Just wipes his hands
on his shirt. There's big, old
grease stains. He's like, "I'm sorry. I
wasn't expecting company. "This is-- Ah, okay. "Hi, I'm Jaquoby Macyl." SAM: I'll shake their hand. Smiley day to you. I'm Fresh Cut Grass.
It's great to meet you. MATT: "Fresh Cut Grass, the
pleasure is all mine. (laughs) "Well, come in, come
in, please, please." SAM: Sure, sure.
MATT: "Hi. "I could say I'd
put some tea on, "but I know it's
maybe not your thing." CHRISTIAN: Oh, same
joke every time. (laughter) AABRIA: Damn.
SAM: I'll eat the kettle! MATT: "I think I got
an extra. Come on in!" AABRIA: Oh. (laughs) MATT: You step inside and
it's a warm, welcoming hearth as much as it is like
a half-hoarder's abode. There is junk everywhere. Scavenged sections of
clockwork and machinery and all manner of odd minerals
and materials and ingots of all different unique
colors and shapes. It looks like
he scavenges a lot, but he also lives in an
industrial part of the city and as you know, works often
with the Glassblades. So it's not like he's scavenging out of necessity,
more out of curiosity. You can see, having been
to Imahara Joe's place, there is a familiarity to a
lot of the hanging chains with hooks and guiding grooves
for a lot of the equipment that's used for
hanging the numerous sectional chassis of large
excavation equipment and other unique things that are halfway cobbled
and welded together that looks a little odd. But it's familiar
in that sense, though, a unique and
different interior. He runs over and goes, "Ah,
give me just a minute. Got it!" Climbs up over
one of the shelves and pulls down one
banged up looking kettle and takes a hammer and-- (heavy hammering)
SAM: Oh, oh! He wasn't joking. LAURA: Oh, he's doing it. SAM: Okay.
MATT: "(groans) Puts his foot into it and pulls
it into two different parts and goes, "All right, I'm just
going to--" (creaking metal) Twists it and breaks
it apart a little bit to where it begins to
bend in this strip, it looks almost like a fucked
up metal Fruit Roll-Up and goes, "Ah, there you go." SAM: Oh wow. Thank you. MATT: "Got some for
the road, too." SAM: Oh! Great. I'll just.
(scarfs metal) (laughter) AABRIA: Oh no!
MATT: "Oh, looks like a--" TRAVIS: All at once?! MATT: "It's a different design.
Almost like a trap door. "It's terrifying. (laughter) AABRIA: Chew! Chew! MATT: "I didn't know
they could unhinge. Huh." CHRISTIAN: Tasty? SAM: Really great. A little rust. Mm. MATT: "Yeah. Mm. "That's what I hear,
makes it spicy. "FRIDA, welcome, welcome. "Fresh Cut Grass,
welcome. Right!" Goes and gets his kettle and starts putting
water into it and starts setting up a flame,
talking over his shoulder. "So, what can I do you for? "What brings you back
over to my place? "It's been a little bit." CHRISTIAN: Well, my new friend
is as in the dark as I was CHRISTIAN: Well, my new friend
is as in the dark as I was when I first came to you, and you helped me a bit and we're wondering if
you can help him out. Maybe figure some things out? I know he wants legs. SAM: I mean, legs seems
like a tall order, but we're about to
go on a journey, a possibly dangerous journey, and we were just given this. I'll present
the mithral armor. MATT: "Oh! Oh my goodness. "This-- (laughs)
Where'd you get this? "This is--"
SAM: Oh, the king and the queen. AABRIA: (laughs)
CHRISTIAN: He's a protector. MATT: "I need
to get out more. "Wow, that's-- "Do you want to
sell this to me "or scrap, it or--?"
SAM: No, no, I was hoping that you could, if
you're a skilled engineer like FRIDA says-- MATT: "I like to think so." SAM: Well, yeah, maybe
you could integrate some of that metal
into my design and--
MATT: "Oh!" SAM: -- re-outfit me
a little bit. MATT: "Well, let me
take a look at you." SAM: Sure. MATT: "If you don't mind." SAM: I don't at all. MATT: "Might be a
little uncomfortable, as I have to
suspend you, but--" SAM: That's all right. If it gets uncomfortable,
I'll just hold FRIDA's hand. MATT: "Okay, all right!" Reaches over and grabs some
of the chains and hooks, brings them over and starts getting that familiar,
slightly invasive, hooking of the
various chains. Begins to lift you
up and you, (cranking) get risen about a foot
or so off the ground. Goes ahead and grabs
a thick set of goggles and sets them up
with multiple lenses that seem to
click in and out. Puts on heavy gloves and begins to look
about your chassis, your body, your design. He goes, "I think I
can work with this, yeah. "Legs, you said?" SAM: I mean, that
seems like a lot. I would take just
a re-skinning, maybe a little thicker arms. If legs can be
done, that's awesome. My friend, Fearne,
had this crazy idea where I could
keep the wheel-- AABRIA: No!
LAURA: Oh god. SAM: -- but sort
of retract it. So legs sometimes and then wheels sometimes.
(laughter) TRAVIS: The popping-- SAM: I don't know
if that's possible. That might be too much. We really only have
an afternoon, so-- MATT: "You know--" (laughter) MATT: "I will say, "I'm very intrigued
at the opportunity "to consider developing
additional means of locomotion "for an automaton of
your historical esteem. "I can't guarantee
it would be functional "and it may take
me a number of days "to try and cobble together
such a possibility." SAM: Maybe we do that when
we get back from the trip. CHRISTIAN: Fresh Cut Grass is
here with a group of friends. MATT: "Okay."
CHRISTIAN: They have been tasked by the king and queen to go to the Savalir Forest. And so--
MATT: "Oh boy." CHRISTIAN: I know you're
very busy, Jaquoby, but you are the best. I was wondering anything
that you could expedite for my friend
would be great. MATT: "Okay, yeah,
that-- Okay. "You definitely
going to want--" "I feel confidently that I
could go ahead and apply this "to your person."
SAM: That would be plenty. MATT: "It'll take me a number of
days to try and do the research "and trial and error "on some possible "extensions of your person." SAM: Yeah, yeah. Maybe you could do those
while we're gone, but-- MATT: "Okay, I'll--"
SAM: For today, maybe just the armor. MATT: "Okay, I'll
see what I can do." SAM: Thank you.
MATT: "All right, "let me go ahead and-- "If you wouldn't mind assisting
me with some of this." CHRISTIAN: Of course.
MATT: "All right. "Go ahead and pull that table
over there, the wheels." You drag it over and he goes and lifts
up this leather sheet. You can see all
these manner of tools, these wrenches and
spanners and hooks. There's all these
very unique, industrial tools
for tinkering. CHRISTIAN: Can I
eat that one? MATT: "Preferably not, "that one had to be
imported from Kraghammer. "But hang tight, I may have a--"
TRAVIS: Kraghammer. MATT: "I may have a little treat
for you at the end of this." LAURA: That's a long import.
CHRISTIAN: Okay. MATT: "All right, so--" SAM: FRIDA, when Jaquoby
opens me up and stuff, you know, maybe just don't-- Just look at me in
the eyes, you know? I don't want you to--
We just met, so I don't-- CHRISTIAN: Would you feel
more comfortable if, click, if I was--
SAM: Oh god, no. CHRISTIAN: No?
(laughter) SAM: That's horrifying.
(laughter) TRAVIS: (monstrous moaning)
AABRIA: Okay, flesh tongue. (laughter) MATT: All right,
to that point, reaches over and
finds the side clamps reaches over and
finds the side clamps and releases them as
the chassis opens up and your arms fold up, and all the armor
dislodges slightly and lifts up. "Just to check," pulls the one
on the front side of the face that you haven't had pulled, and your face plate flips
and comes up again. "Oh yeah, just like you. "Faithful Care-Giver. "FCG, huh." LAURA: Oh!
MATT: "All right." TRAVIS: That's never
happened before, right? SAM: Uh-uh.
AABRIA: Ah! LAURA: Oh! CHRISTIAN: My heart feels so full.
TRAVIS: Faithful Care-Giver, I'm fucking dying. MATT: "All right. "Let me go ahead and start
getting this affixed." LAURA: Aw! MATT: Locks in a
bunch of lenses, gets the apron situated, and goes to work on
carefully pulling apart this enchanted mithral armor in a way that does not
disrupt the enchantment and is able to bend
and affix it to your Aeormaton body.
SAM: Amazing. MATT: As you continue
to work on this and you all begin to gather, let's go ahead
and take a break. (disappointed exclaiming) TRAVIS: Faithful Care-Giver?! AABRIA: Faithful Care-Giver?!
SAM: Come on. ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.
AABRIA: That is so good. TRAVIS: This here
Jaquoby is the shit. AABRIA: Let's go!
LAURA: Wait. So you didn't
come up with it? That was you? You did
the Faithful Care-Giver? SAM: That's all Matt Mercer. TRAVIS: I think it was a
combination of the two. LAURA: I love it.
ASHLEY: Faithful Care-Giver. TRAVIS: Oh! MATT: So take that break to
consider what sort of outfits you want to pull from. AABRIA: Yeah.
LAURA: Sitting here drawing shit over here. MATT: Yep.
LAURA: What am I going to do? MATT: Indeed, think on it, think on it.
CHRISTIAN: Oh my god, you really are. AABRIA: Are you!?
MATT: (laughs) TRAVIS: Zoot suit tails. (laughter)
MATT: (high-pitched) Honey honey! (laughter) MATT: We'll be back here
in a few minutes. (laughs) TRAVIS: Oh man! Hi. We're the narrators of Midst. What's Midst? It's very simple. It's a weird surrealist
fourth wall breaking reality bending science, fantasy space
western about a small, doomed planet floating in a cosmic ocean
of spooky darkness. Upon whose alien landscape
an ensemble cast of characters, including a crotchety outlaw, a freakishly
virtuous cultist and a weird, diabolical bastard, make awful decisions
and fight like hell to survive when the moon falls out of the sky and a large number of terrible things
happened in rapid succession. It's exciting, it's funny, it's scary. It's got neat
sound, weird music, amazing visuals, and every episode comes with bonus content
you can read and examine. Midst is performed solely by yours truly. As the three of us
narrate all the action, play all of the characters,
and bend a lot of the rules about how telling stories
is normally supposed to work. Midst is pretty fun, very strange,
and it feels like VR for your brain. We believe you'll enjoy it. Or maybe you won't, but
there's really only one way to find out. You're going to have to listen to Midst. Crew Member: And action. Oh, hello, I am Ashley Johnson, one part of the Critical Role cast and president of the
Critical Role Foundation. I would like to take
this time to do two things. One, thank the
amazing community for supporting CRF over
the last few years. Because of you, we have
raised over $2 million, allowing us to support other
nonprofits in their endeavors. The second thing is to tell you about all of the organizations and projects your money has been funding. So let us start with.
(tape recorder scratching) Well, what, what, what do you mean we have too many accomplishments and heartwarming milestones to speak on in detail
under 60 seconds? Well, I mean, how are we
supposed to highlight them? Oh, okay.
(lounge music) Oh, okay, this can work. Let's do this. Ooh, ooh, ooh, that was amazing. Come on, that was so cool! Oh, that was really fun. Ah, the best. Can you see all of this? This is, this is just awesome. Yeah! See, wasn't that great? And the best part is that
we are just getting started. So if you're interested in
being a part of this journey, whether it's to learn
more or to donate, please visit CriticalRoleFoundation.org (grand sweeping music)
Crew Member: And cut. Okay, how was that? That was good, that was all right? Gosh, what a nice long
list, that was so nice. All in two years! (dramatic music) It didn't have to come to this. Oh, Captain Crosswinds,
it did have to come to this. I will take this ship. I will crush your band of pathetic
rebels once and for all. (sword scraping)
It is my destiny. Your destiny is to die by this
blade, Commodore Chauffage. (both yelling) (dice clattering) Ha, I lunge forward and strike you with my rancorous rapier. (gasps) Ah! You pierce my shoulder but we are just getting started. Announcer: From Darrington Press, steel yourself and prepare
to duel "Till The Last Gasp." The two player
storytelling game of duels, (metallic whirring and clanking) danger, (whip cracks) and drama. Don't do this, Chauffage, you're just a pawn
for the Sky Lords. They don't care about you.
The rebellion cares about you. I care about you. Lies. (yells) If I'm lying, then why are
you so rattled, Chauffage? I hurl a grenade at the fuel cells and recklessly destroy scenery. No, you can't. You'll destroy us all! (explosion booming) (fire crackling) You're a... A monster. (laughs evilly) Your move, Captain Crosswinds. (continues laughing evilly) (Captain Crosswinds yells) Announcer: Dive into the fray
with nine unique maps and 12 pre-made characters. Or unleash your imagination and bring your
settings and characters to the climactic
showdown they deserve. I shall slay thee in the name of
Charnak the Spider Lady. Charnak the Spider Lady? I don't know, I thought
it sounded cool. No. Yeah, sure does. What if I am Charnak the Spider Lady (screams evilly) (screams and groans) and I dissolve you into goo
with my digestive enzymes. So does that decisively end the duel? I think it does. (chuckles) Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. (hands slapping) Announcer: "Til The Last Gasp" available everywhere Darrington
Press games are sold. (triumphant music) Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new
in the Critical Role shop. (gasp) Could anything
be more perfect? Style should never be
a dump stat, darling. Oh my gosh. It's so amazing. Ooo look at this!
Look at the details! Ooo! I mean the Traveler always says
impulse purchases are a good decision. This is pretty badass. You need this? You probably need this. And hey if you want, you could head over
to the Critical Role shop right now. (fantasy music) (mysterious music) (epic music) (mischievous music) (typewriter clacking) (peaceful music) Narrator: When the forces
of evil threaten Exandria, these heroes are there
to answer the call. Taliesin: I'm Super Scanlan, with my Critical Role
Twitch subscription, I can watch all my favorite CR shows before they come out on YouTube. Take that evil doers! Ashley: Here comes Jester, with her Twitch
subscription to Critical Role. She can access gnarly emotes and post links in the chat, too. Taliesin: Radical! Ashley: Boosh! ...Oh no! Here comes some trolls
to jam up our live chat. Taliesin: Don't worry,
Laudna will stop them with the help of Critical Role's
Professional Moderators. Ashley: She's spooky, but I like her. Here comes Laudna's friend Chetney. He has an Amazon Prime membership, which gives him one free Twitch
subscription of his choice. Of course, he subscribes
to Critical Role. It's the power of teamwork. Die, die, die! Taliesin: I'm spooky. Ashley: I cast Agonizing Bolt! Taliesin: Scanlan's Hand! Ashley: Stab 'em Chetney Ashley: And look, there's Caleb with the power of introspection
and existential dread. (cows mooing) Taliesin: Now that we've
defeated all the bad guys, let's gift subscriptions to other users. You can do that by name or randomly. Matthew: Taliesin, Ashley, please. I've told you so many times just don't play with those, okay? They're super fragile, custom
made, custom painted. You know what? We have to film in
about 30 minutes, so why don't you two
just come with me. Come on. (clicks tongue) (footsteps receding) Ashley: Oh, it's Major Buzzkill here to take away all our fun. (indistinct exclamations) Ashley: Is it Thursday yet bitch? Taliesin: You can certainly die! Ashley: Oh! Good one. Taliesin: Loot his corpse!
Take his vest! Ashley: Goooosh! Matthew: Would you
please stop that?! (fast bright music) Ashley: Grog smash! Narrator: Subscribe to
Critical Role on Twitch and collect all 21 action figures. Alternate forms and
familiars not included. MATT: And welcome back. So. What are you all up to? As you are getting fitted, we'll say you all are
gathering at Catlyn's, I believe, right?
AABRIA and TRAVIS: Mm-hmm. MATT: Any other business to
be attended in the interim, or are you all ready
to meet up there to-- SAM: We can meet up. TRAVIS: Actually, I try and
find Imogen really quick as we're going to Catlyn's. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: Everything's been so
crazy since all this started, and we've got all
this info on Ludinus, which maybe will help us and maybe we'll learn
a little bit more, but we haven't even had a chance to ask you about your
mom in all of this. LAURA: Why, Chet? TRAVIS: Well, I just realized
she was there, and then she was flying, and I know we were
attacking from all angles. I know you were
calling out to her, or at least I
was clocking that in the final moments
of it all, but-- LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: How are you
feeling after all of that? LAURA: It's hard
to put into words. The entire time that
I've had these dreams and these abilities, I've heard her voice and she's always
been so comforting. She's always been the trigger, the thing that
helps me remember I can run away
from the storm, that I don't have to be
enveloped by it, right? So it seems so strange that when it came down to it, she was fighting for it. It feels like something
happened to her. I kept trying to wake her up, you know, to who she
used to be, and-- I don't know if she's
not there anymore. She really did help
him, you know? She really did help make
all of this happen. She really did help make
all of this happen. Maybe I shouldn't have
been trying, you know? Maybe I should've just fought
her off from the beginning and then I could have
helped stop it a little more. and then I could have
helped stop it a little more. TRAVIS: It's a hard thing, trying to face the one that
brought you into this world. I don't know if we'll
come across them again or if she's even still here
or on the moon or what. LAURA: We dreamt and we saw-- I saw Ruidus and I saw all of the, what were they called? ASHLEY: (whispers) Reilora. LAURA: My-lora.
Reilora, thank you. But people at the site, and I don't know
if that meant everybody there got
turned into it, or if they're just gone
like the rest of us. TRAVIS: If we do come
across her again, just calling out
areas of exposure, do you want us
to do something? You also don't
have to answer. Just think about it. I know we had talked
about it, but if we're lucky enough
to get another shot, I don't want to
miss the second time. LAURA: I understand. If our friends are gone,
if what happened-- If Laudna and
Orym and Ash are gone because of that, then yeah, let's
take her down. TRAVIS: Insight check. SAM: Ooh! MATT: All right.
Make an insight check. You can make a persuasion
or a deception check, and not say which, just
tell me the number. TRAVIS: 13. LAURA: 13. SAM: Rollies? AABRIA: Rollies! MATT: Let's
Rollies it. (laughs) TRAVIS: Three. LAURA: 16. (laughter) MATT: She's hard to read. TRAVIS: Fair enough.
I'm sorry. You were put in the most
horrible position of any of us. LAURA: I think we're all put in a pretty terrible
place from this. TRAVIS: I'm not
fighting my mom. LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Let's go get
some new fucking duds. LAURA: (laughs) TRAVIS: Treat yo' self! LAURA: Take our mind off it?
TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: All right. While you
head over towards Catlyn's, back in the abode of
our fair tinkerer, Jaquoby finishes
some of his welding and clenching work on one
of the sides of the plates. "(straining) All righty. "I think that'll do. "I think that's-- "What do you think, FRIDA?" CHRISTIAN: I think
you look beautiful. You are an expert, Jaquoby. MATT: "Aw. (laughs)
Just to make sure "to tell the supervisors
of the Glassblades "next time you pass them by "that I am worth "an upgrade on my income." CHRISTIAN: I think we can mention
that to the King and Queen. MATT: "Oh, you're serious?"
CHRISTIAN: I'll make sure they'll take care of you. Yes.
MATT: "Okay. Well, I mean, "yeah, by all means.
We've been busy. "Wow."
CHRISTIAN: I have one more question,
if it's not too much. MATT: "Yeah." CHRISTIAN: My new friends are separated from
their family, and I don't know much about how (clinking) this works.
MATT: "Uh-huh." CHRISTIAN: I was wondering, in your dealings
with the Aeormatons, is there a way that maybe you
could utilize the arcane core to power other magic? Like a battery? MATT: "I mean, technically,
depending on the enchantment, "that's the nature
of automaton life, "that's the nature
of automaton life, "I would say, "having met both of you. "Others would say locomotion. "But obviously, there's
more to it than that "with certain designs
and creations. "I mean, it's not like
a general power source "for all types of magic. "The receptor needs
to be designed "to receive outside
magical power "or certain enchantments may
just be ready to receive "based on, you know, "a properly applied
conductor of such arcana. "I have a couple of cables
here that I'm not using, "just in case
you get curious." He runs to the
back and pulls down off of this long,
barrel-shaped pole that's wedged into the wall, a bunch of different
cables and threads and stuff that are laid over. Pulls down two of these-- One of them them's
a little shorter, one's about a foot
and a half long and the other is
about four feet long, and hands them over to you. They're flexible metal. They look like the equivalent
of a payphone cable. CHRISTIAN: Okay.
MATT: For those of you who need to Google
what that looks like, you'll know what it's like.
(laughter) MATT: As I wither into dust immediately.
AABRIA: I'm too young. LAURA: Oh my god,
what's a payphone? AABRIA: Yeah, what's that? (mocking noise) MATT: "This is usually what's
affixed to an interior arcane core "for a number of
large-scale automatons "that are utilized for
construction and moving, "in application of
carrying of goods. "So if you connect
this to a core one "and then apply it to a
properly prepared enchantment, "it might be able to
transfer some of that power. "But, you know, usually,
they're designed "entirely for that
sort of reception. "It's not a perfect science, "and my knowledge of it
extends to about there." CHRISTIAN: Okay. I was just wondering
if there was a way I could help them contact
their friends using the core. MATT: "(uncertain sigh) "That is not my specialty,
unfortunately. "You would have to talk to a "better mage or cleric
for that, I think." CHRISTIAN: I don't think there
is one in this town, Jaquoby. MATT: "(laughs) Oh, you are
very sweet there, FRIDA, "but no, I'm just a little
coupler of metal things." "but no, I'm just a little
coupler of metal things." SAM: (deeply) Well,
you were fantastic. MATT: "Oh god!"
(screaming) TRAVIS: Whoa! MATT: "No, hold on,
hold on, hold on. I need to-- "All right, I fixed it
back on there." SAM: (normal voice)
Thank you so much. MATT: "Lower it down."
(cranking) SAM: Sorry about that.
MATT: "No, I'm sorry, "I thought I had checked "all the various points
of entry there. "You're clamped down properly
now and good to go." SAM: Okay, thank you. MATT: "Oh wow.
That was embarrassing." SAM: Oh no, I--
MATT: "I'm so sorry." SAM: But the armor
fits perfectly-- or integrates perfectly, and thank you
for the upgrade. I look okay? CHRISTIAN: You look great.
How do you feel? SAM: I feel
a little bit lighter, a little bit more like my
joints don't squeak as much. I think I'll be
a little bit stealthier, by exactly one point. (laughter) MATT: But without
disadvantage. SAM: That's what I meant.
MATT: Yes. CHRISTIAN: That's great. Well, bring it in, Jaquoby. MATT: "Aw. (laughs)" SAM: Are we doing
a group thing? MATT: "Yeah, yeah!
Bring it in! "Come on in!" (squeezing hug sounds) SAM: Must kill. (laughter) MATT: "What was that?" SAM and LAURA: Huh? MATT: "I'll start sketching
out some designs. "I'll see what I can muster." SAM: For--
MATT: "Yeah, for--" SAM: For hoofers?
MATT: "Yeah. "No promises. This might
be a larger project." SAM: Sure! MATT: "Come and see me when
you get back, I guess. "So stay safe." CHRISTIAN: We'll try. SAM: Well, we always will. MATT: "Good, good.
All right." CHRISTIAN and SAM: Thank you. MATT: "Hey, anytime. Pleasure
to meet you, Fresh Cut Grass." SAM: Oh! Do we-- Do we pay you? I don't--
Do we pay you? MATT: "Oh, I think talking
to the King and Queen--" SAM: Okay. You're good.
MATT: "-- of my capability "was more than enough
payment for this endeavor. "Don't worry about it."
SAM: Okay, great, great, great. All right. CHRISTIAN: The King and Queen
did insinuate that if we got back safely,
we would be paid well. I will come and find you and share some
of that with you. You deserve it. MATT: "I wouldn't say no
to a little scratch." CHRISTIAN: Amen. Can we take
some of this metal? MATT: "Oh, for the, uh--" SAM: Just for scrap,
just for snacks. MATT: "I'll give you something
that I don't intend to use." Pulls small bits of cobalt and a few elements of unique,
odd-colored, imperfect metals and a few elements of unique,
odd-colored, imperfect metals and some alloys
that are found naturally in different magical sites and makes you a small, care package
of assorted chocolates, you know, puts them
together and wraps it up. AABRIA: Romantic!
SAM: Pu pu platter? CHRISTIAN: It's
like lingerie. MATT: "Here you go."
SAM and CHRISTIAN: Thank you. MATT: "That's to keep your
company on the journey. "Take care of yourself now." CHRISTIAN and SAM: You too. MATT: "All right." CHRISTIAN: These are my favorite.
They're a little salty. SAM: Leaded or unleaded? (laughter) AABRIA: If I see
Imogen and Chet veer off to have
a private conversation, can I drop back and duck
into the light above Sanctum as we cross it going up to-- MATT: Yeah, yeah, you do. AABRIA: The Volition Disc.
MATT: You can do that. As they splinter off a bit, you head over to the
leftmost side of that district as you cross up
into that region, and you come to this modest
temple of the Dawnfather. It's an open-air, hollow, three-sided
pyramid-like structure that has this archway
opening on each side, and within the interior,
there is a large relief statue that is an impression
of the Dawnfather, arms up in the air
holding the mace, and where the head is, it's a glass brazier
that contains flames that burn within to mimic the bright, star-like head
of this entity, this deity. Within, you can see all manner of jewelry
and chains and coins are placed into the nooks
and crannies of the armor and the relief, and there are
all manner of little messages and prayers that are left. You're very familiar
with this site, though your visitation
of it varies. At the moment,
there are a handful of people that are in there
quietly praying, and it takes you
a moment to look around before you see any of
the Keepers present, until eventually,
you see Evodon Leeds, older human gentleman,
short gray hair, bit of a short beard that's
trimmed close to the face, dark skin against
the gray hair and facial hair and a kind smile
and eyes to him. But you see a nervousness
about him, a furrowed brow and a vein that's popping
on his forehead there as he currently goes to some of
the people that are praying, he goes, "My apologies, but
currently prayer is relegated "to the members
of the Keepers "at the moment within
the temple, if you don't mind. "Thank you."
AABRIA: What is that? I'm going to be in the back,
hopping up a little bit, trying to make herself
not that subtly known. MATT: "Oh."
AABRIA: Hey! MATT: "(clears throat)
Excuse me." Pulls the curtains over
the fronts of the temple. "Deanna--" AABRIA: Elder Leeds. Hi. MATT: "Pleasure to see you in
these extremely trying times." AABRIA: What's going on? What were you saying
about curtailing prayer? What? That's wild. MATT: "We're, um--" Make a persuasion
check, actually. SAM: (sneezes) AABRIA: Bless you! Oh god. Of course
it went away. CHRISTIAN: "This scene
is brought you by "seasonal allergies." TRAVIS: Dude, it's
so cold outside. It won't stop raining.
What the hell. AABRIA: 17.
MATT: 17? "We've been talking "with a few of the other
temples of this district "and we're trying "to circle the wagons
a little bit. "You are, yourself, "a bearer of the miracle of
some of our great deities. "Have you noticed any change "in your connection
to the divine?" AABRIA: No? No, um no. MATT: Make a deception check. (laughter) AABRIA: All right. 16. MATT: "Oh, well you're
one of the lucky ones. "The rest of us have--" You can see in his eyes
there's a genuine look of, you can only see it as fear. "I felt the connection to the
Dawnfather my entire life. "It's guided me through
darkness time and time again, "and while the blessings
still seem to mostly be there, "my communion has
been severed. "Many of the high priests
have been unable "to reach out to the
ones who've chosen us. "We sense they're still there,
but they're just sort of-- "I don't know how else to put
it, like they're turned away, "and I think maybe... "Maybe our sins
are coming to roost." AABRIA: No! No, no, no, no. MATT: "Why else would--" AABRIA: It's nothing
we've done, what could... Fuck, language. TRAVIS: (laughs) AABRIA: It's not that
they're afraid. No, it's-- They're afraid
of something. That's what it
feels like to me. Something's coming for them. And I think, in their fear, they've leaned away. (whispers) I don't know. There's something big happening
right now in the world. I heard from the
King and Queen that resurrection magic
is off the table. MATT: "A few rumors have
come across my ears "and I hope that they wouldn't
be founded in truth. "But if you heard this
from the King and Queen, "well, that is certainly, "deeply troubling." AABRIA: Yeah. Okay, this doesn't
change much. We serve the people, and whether or not we have the
gifts that they've granted us we can do our job. It could be a light. Are you okay? Is there anything
you need? MATT: He looks over
his shoulder and the other keeper, Keeper Triya, is not present, and you see he's taking
solace in that present, that silence space with you.
He goes, "What's gotten me through all
the troubles of my life "up to this point was the
knowledge that I was never alone. "In these recent days, "it's the first time
I've ever felt alone. "So no, I'm not doing well, "and I'm not the only one." AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "But, "we push on." He looks back up
to the statue. "I think, "I think, barring this evening
gathering of the other priests, "I will continue to
push, as with others, "to keep our temples open. "In despite of this "uncomfortable period, "you're right. "You must still be that bastion
of openness and goodwill." AABRIA: To that end-- I'm going to pull out my
500 gold from the job and press it into his hands. MATT: "Deanna, I don't know
where you got this, you..." AABRIA: I'm a hero. Do you remember that bull? MATT: "Yeah."
AABRIA: I rode it. MATT: "(laughs)"
CHRISTIAN: (laughs) MATT: "You serious?"
AABRIA: Yeah, 100%. MATT: "(laughs)"
AABRIA: Would I lie to you? MATT: "No."
AABRIA: In here? MATT: "(laughs)"
TRAVIS: (laughs) MATT: "My goodness, you
are just ever "a cavalcade of surprises,
aren't you? "(laughs)" AABRIA: I think the most important
thing I'm learning now is, even if you feel alone, you don't have to be, there's always someone
to reach toward. And if it's not
the Dawnfather now then it's the people
out there. I'm going to step away
for a little bit as I am wont to do, but when I return, I'd
like to help more. MATT: "I think we'd all
like to see your face "around here a little
more, too." AABRIA: Okay. MATT: "(sighs)
Before you go," he puts his hand on your
shoulder and says, "Thank you. "It's challenging when
you've been the one "people look to your entire
life for comfort." AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "It makes it difficult
sometimes to reach out "when you need it yourself." AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "So, "you're a good one, Deanna." AABRIA: So are you, Leeds. MATT: "(chuckles)" AABRIA: I'll see you soon. MATT: "Real soon, and..." AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "This will pay for many
meals here in the temple." AABRIA: Yeah, if it wasn't for
that I was just going to spend it on a goddamn coat. And I turn and walk out.
(laughter) MATT: You walk out
and as you do, he opens the curtains
once more and the people that
were waiting outside look back and, "Come
on, come on in." They all start heading
back inside the temple. AABRIA: Sweet. I hustle over to catch
up with the squad. MATT: Okay. CHRISTIAN: (laughs)
AABRIA: Oh no, I'm poor again! TRAVIS: Oh no. AABRIA: Oh, goodbye.
MATT: All righty. CHRISTIAN: You have my 500, Deanna.
LAURA: I was hoping you'd give it back. (laughter)
AABRIA: Yeah. You were supposed to say no.
TRAVIS: You actually took it-- AABRIA: But that's fine,
it's fine, it's fine. This is what I wanted. MATT: Eventually, you all
gather on the exterior of Catlyn's Clothier. TRAVIS: Woo!
MATT: A beautiful two-story boutique that you can see--
AABRIA: Yes! MATT: -- is built from deep--
TRAVIS: (beatboxing) AABRIA: It's an
Abercrombie & Fitch. (laughter) ASHLEY: Such a strong smell.
LAURA: So strong. AABRIA: Oh my god,
I just smelled it. LAURA: The cologne!
MATT: Oh god. TRAVIS: My eyes!
LAURA: Talk about allergies. MATT: Indeed.
(laughter) MATT: Smooth, tufted brick
that has all been pressed into this beautiful
bricked pattern, porous from the exterior
and the masonry, itself, pristine and colorful. The dark gray to
pale gray bricks that alternate throughout have a deep red coloration
holding between all of them, giving this spooky exterior if it wasn't so well lit. All the windows themselves
are barred with beautiful gold
curtains that contrast from the interior. As you step through the
main front doors, these heavy, dark, polished
mahogany doors that swing open. Inside, indeed, there is
soft music playing, and it is well lit, as
you can see all manner of racks and displays
of beautiful, beautiful attire from
all over Exandria that presents itself. There are some
individuals here helping some other customers
that are wandering around. As you step in and your
unique looking troop looks around with eager and awe-filled eyes, A voice around goes,
"Oh, I'm sorry. "I don't think I've seen
your types here before. "Can we be of service to
you in my Clothier?" AABRIA: Oh my god, Catlyn. MATT: You see a
female half-elf in her 40s or so, with
this, I can only, it's got a
Sally Jessy Raphael-- (laughter)
AABRIA: Oh! MATT: Blonde, big, curled
wave right there to the side.
LAURA: Does she have red glasses? TRAVIS: Red!
MATT: Uh-huh. Got-- Well, not red glasses, but definitely that
squarish shape to it. Very sharp with a nice business blazer
on, you know? AABRIA: She's giving Diane
Von Furstenberg vibes. MATT: Immaculate makeup.
(laughter) MATT: "Ah, so, I assume you're
here for clothing, yes?" LAURA: Ah, yeah.
ASHLEY: Yes. LAURA: We were sent at the
behest of King and Queen... MATT: "Sure..."
LAURA: And they, yes. MATT: Does a snap. You see, what you didn't
notice at this point is these two well-dressed,
bouncer-looking dwarf gentlemen that are,
set out of the walls, begin to step forward a bit. "I have the King and Queen."
TRAVIS: Perhaps this documentation would help.
MATT: "(laughs)" TRAVIS: Oh shit, she
was telling the truth. (laughter) AABRIA: I've only ever been able
to afford the accessories here. I'm about to lose
my fucking mind! TRAVIS: Imathan and Simone, I'm
sure, would be very glad to hear that you've welcomed
us so warmly. MATT: She looks real
close at the seal, and looks all of you. Her whole energy
went from "Hello," to "Get the fuck
out of here," to, "What the fuck?" TRAVIS: (whooshes) MATT: Yep.
AABRIA: Yep. MATT: Takes the seal and brings
to one of the candelabras that are alit
within here and runs the seal
across the flame, and you watch the
symbol glare with gold. LAURA: Whoa.
CHRISTIAN: Cool. TRAVIS: Damn!
MATT: There is a magical element to the
wax seal on it that glitters. LAURA: Looks like
that magic's still working.
MATT: "Well," CHRISTIAN: (laughs)
MATT: "I'll be damned. "Well, my apologies for
my extremely rude "introduction."
TRAVIS: (haughtily) Not at all. AABRIA: The guy on the left, I
would love a glass of champers. ASHLEY: Oh yes.
(laughter) MATT: The big dwarf
goes, looks over, "Well, get her some
champers, come on!" (laughter) MATT: "Well, royal guests
are a rare find. "Indeed, it is an honor to have
you here amongst my boutique. "What can I help you with, "and how quickly can we get you
all in some of my clothing?" AABRIA: You go, you
go, you go. TRAVIS: Me? No please.
AABRIA: I'm blacking out at this point. Don't
worry about me. (laughs) TRAVIS: Well, we have a
royal business to attend to, and adventuring needs
that need to be fulfilled, but we will need
to do so in style. MATT: "Well, you happen to
be in the right place," as she plucks her
finger in the air and you see a bunch
of rolls of fabric glitter and move
on their own. You now notice
that she is an arcane-inclined--
LAURA: Oh wow. MATT: -- crafter and
designer of clothing. LAURA: Oh, does that mean you
enchant your clothing as well? MATT: "Oh, all of my
clothing is enchanting." TRAVIS: Oh! (fingers snap) MATT: "But not necessarily
enchanted." LAURA: Got it.
MATT: "I mean, I just create it "through magical means." CHRISTIAN: (laughs)
MATT: "That's my specialty. "If you want to take it
somewhere and get it enchanted "that's up to you entirely. "But I have a lot of turnaround
I have to get through. "Not quite time to do
full enchantments. "But regardless, what can I
do? What can I help you with?" To that point, what
is it that you want? What outfits are
you looking for? Please describe what you
want to have custom made. LAURA: Ah!
AABRIA: Oh yeah. CHRISTIAN: I feel like I'm
in the Louis Vuitton store. LAURA: I know, right? TRAVIS: Who wants to go
first, me? You want to go? SAM: It's up to you, you go.
CHRISTIAN: I don't know anymore. TRAVIS: Well, I'll go. I usually have lots of
skin showing, you know, because I like to let
everybody check it out, because I'm working, but because it's going
to be fucking cold for the next titty bit. AABRIA: Just a tit nipply. TRAVIS: Just a tit nipply. (laughs)
MATT: "Yes, yes." TRAVIS: I would like to--
SAM: (sneezes) TRAVIS: Perhaps--
AABRIA: Bless you! TRAVIS: You know, in my older years--
ASHLEY: Shh! TRAVIS: -- comfort is really
top of mind. So I was thinking if
you had some sort of very soft, velvety fabric,
perhaps a purple, or a blue, or a green in the
cooler palette, like a velvet
tracksuit, maybe. LAURA: Oh my god. TRAVIS: That would be
very athletic, but also very casual to
protect from the elements. I have a tendency to change
my size dramatically from one moment
to the next. Don't ask. It's really
fucking awesome. MATT: "I won't ask." TRAVIS: So if it has any
kind of, you know, stretching capabilities,
or durability even, that would be amazing. MATT: (claps) Claps twice, and you look in the back
as this young little dwarf, probably can't be more
than 20, 25 equivalent, with this a scruff (poofs) on
the end of his chin there. (laughter) MATT: Hair slicked back, has a number of
cluttered tape measures thrown over his shoulders. Goes, "I got it, I'll
get right to it!" And runs off into
the back room. She goes, "All right, we'll
get you taken care of." TRAVIS: Thank you. MATT: "Anything else
in accessories?" TRAVIS: I don't think so. I didn't think
about accessories. MATT: "Well, think
on it still. "We'll get to that momentarily."
TRAVIS: Thank you. MATT: "Anyone else here?" SAM: Are you two
going to upgrade your outfits for--
LAURA: We're just going to say-- AABRIA: Yeah!
LAURA: -- what we really want. AABRIA: Good luck, girls. LAURA: Mine's not very cold
weather friendly, necessarily. I just drew something
that I thought was pretty. MATT: That works. LAURA: Okay, so
what I'm thinking is-- MATT: "Now we can insulate
it, too, if need be." LAURA: Oh great.
MATT: "We can make it "secretly warm,
if you want to." LAURA: We'll see
how that works. MATT: (laughs) LAURA: Well, you see, I got
this flowy sort of dress thing going on.
(laughter) LAURA: I really like
the flowiness. It works with
things that I do. I want to get a flowy dress that goes
all the way to the ground with long sleeves
that are fitted. MATT: "Mm-hmm." LAURA: Then underneath
it I want, (laughs) a leather body piece sort of thing.
AABRIA: Yeah! (claps) SAM: Yeah. LAURA: For cold weather
insulation. AABRIA: For cold weather.
LAURA: I'm going to go with a leather overcoat that's cropped
and fitted at the waist. MATT: Okay.
LAURA: With a cold hood that can go over my head.
AABRIA: Yeah, oh yeah. SAM: That sounds very warm. AABRIA: So cute.
ASHLEY: The skirt's sheer too.
LAURA: And the skirt is sheer. I want it to be
super flowy so when I do my magic
it still flows up. ASHLEY: Yes.
AABRIA: Love it, love it, love it. MATT: "Now do you want
the sleeves to be fitted "all the way to
just the cuff, "or do you want them to go a
bit into the back of the hand "or what--"
LAURA: I would like for the dress sleeve to go pointed
into the finger and then the coat sleeve
can come just like that. MATT: "All right, well,"
(claps) claps twice, and in the back you
see this small, really, really crotchety
old, gnomish woman with this massive bundle
of forehead wrinkles that becomes the sagging
brow that nearly covers the entirety of her eyes, who pulls out with this
Bea Arthur type hair and clothing, attire. Goes, "I'll get right on it." TRAVIS: Sybil? (laughter) TRAVIS: No, just kidding.
(laughter) CHRISTIAN: My heart dropped.
MATT: Yeah. (laughter) LAURA: Maybe I can--
MATT: "Virginia, but nice try!" LAURA: Maybe I can make
the coat sleeves removable so when we
get in warm weather then I can not be too hot.
AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "I'll get right on it."
SAM: Oh god. AABRIA: Incredible. LAURA: I want it to be sheer, so
I want to see the lightning bolts on my skin now, you
know what I mean? ASHLEY: Nice.
AABRIA: Nice. MATT: I got it.
CHRISTIAN: Yeah. MATT: Coming across
to the table here. SAM: Sure. I think over at Jaquoby's the armor that he
plopped on me has given me a sort
of a golden sheen instead of a yellow sheen. So it's more of a gold--
MATT: Gold with silver accents. SAM: Yeah, gold with
silver accents. So to keep a little blue
going, I'm going to-- AABRIA: (laughs) SAM: -- ask for an insp--
(laughter) SAM: Inspired by FRIDA, I'd like a long
duster jacket. Right, that's
what you have? CHRISTIAN: Like this. SAM: Yeah, like that. But his is dark
green leather. Right? LAURA: Like an emerald green?
CHRISTIAN: Emerald, yeah. SAM: Yeah, I'll have
a dark blue leather-- LAURA: Ooh!
SAM: -- if that's all right? MATT: "That can be done." She goes ahead and
flicks her finger and you watch as this heavy
roll on the secondary floor, (whooshes) drifts over and (thuds) lands
on the ground next to her with this thick
really well cured, smooth-looking, like a
deer skin blue leather. SAM: Cool. MATT: And causes it drift off to one of the nearby tables
where it plops down, unrolls, and some of the other
figures start going through and pulling out patterns
and getting it ready while looking over at you
and making measurements and cutting it down. "Who else?" AABRIA: Deanna will step up, and she takes off her
big cozy sweater thing. Let me be very clear:
She's built like a Pixar mom: tiny upper body,
absolutely dump truck ass. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Yes. TRAVIS: Pixar mom.
MATT and ASHLEY: Yes! AABRIA: She's giving Elastigirl.
LAURA: Yeah, Ms. Incredible. (laughter) TRAVIS: Servin' it.
MATT: Love it. AABRIA: Riffing off
of Imogen: Yeah, can I do a little, a sort of stretch
green body suit under, we're not going to
hide our body anymore. We're renaissance. It's fine.
ASHLEY: You show it. LAURA: We're showing it. AABRIA: Yeah, we're showing it.
ASHLEY: Yeah, you show that butt. AABRIA: Let's show it! MATT: "Of course."
AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: "Right on it." She puts her hands together
in a one big clap and you watch as two
small goblin figures curl out with
impeccable, double-breasted, leather tops
with long sleeves, and these nice pants
on that are fitted, and one of them has a monocle and the other one has
this really thin mustache that's not been kept well, it's been penciled in
to try and fill the gaps. They both go,
"We'll help you immediately, "right this way." They pull you off to the
side to start measuring up. SAM: It's all you.
ASHLEY: Did you already go? Did you go?
Are you getting anything? CHRISTIAN: I... MATT: Has this coat. CHRISTIAN: You made that
for me a while back and it has
served me very well. MATT: "Mm-hmm." CHRISTIAN: There's a bit
of a rip in it, but that's not--
MATT: "I was looking, "a bit of wear and tear, but
that's easy enough to fix." She drifts her hand
over it and all the-- CHRISTIAN: Oh wow.
MATT: -- damage on it (whooshing) clears up. CHRISTIAN: Well, that was,
that was very impressive. I, if you remember,
I had you inscribe a name on the inside of
the jacket, Deanna's, do you mind in
that yellow, blueish, could you write
FCG on the inside? MATT: "That can be done." CHRISTIAN: Okay.
MATT: "Not a worry." SAM: We are essentially
married at this point. (laughter)
LAURA: I mean, yeah. AABRIA: Incredible.
ASHLEY: Yeah. Oh, hi, where are your
finest top shelf fabrics? TRAVIS: Whoa. AABRIA: Let's go.
TRAVIS: Whoa. ASHLEY: I need silks.
I need organza. I need tulle. I need... TRAVIS: What was the word
you used then? CHRISTIAN: Organza.
ASHLEY: Just all of it. What do you have? MATT: "Well, by royal
decree, whatever you want." TRAVIS: (laughing) Ooh!
ASHLEY: All right, so-- MATT: "The invoice
goes to them at the "end, after all."
CHRISTIAN: You're going to take them to the bank. ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
they're making sure that they're paying for it. I start pulling all of
the fabrics in a big pile, and then put
them there. Okay. So, I'm thinking even more like Rococo. LAURA: (laughs) ASHLEY: Even more
of a corset. It's more of a sleeve
here that, you know, poofies, and some
beautiful silks all over, but legs are, op--
So you can see my legs. Those are warm because
they're just all the fur. Got to show the hams,
and-- Or gams. (laughs) AABRIA: No, no, no.
MATT: Got to show the hams. AABRIA: Got to show the hams.
(laughter) TRAVIS: Got to show the hams.
AABRIA: It's a very hams-forward look. ASHLEY: Got to show
my hams, my ham hocks. Then--
TRAVIS: Hams. ASHLEY: I also-- Deanna.
AABRIA: Yeah? ASHLEY: Would you be able
to knit me something if I draw it for you? AABRIA: Uh, (sobs) yes! (laughter) ASHLEY: Oh, all right.
AABRIA: Also, I want a corset, too! I want corset, too. ASHLEY: Oh yeah, she needs a corset.
MATT: "Corset, corset!" LAURA: Yeah, I mean, obviously--
MATT: The goblin's like-- LAURA: -- I want some sort of--
AABRIA: Some cinchy-- LAURA: Yeah, cinching, beauty--
ASHLEY: Are we getting matching corsets? AABRIA: Yes! ASHLEY: Oh my god, I love this.
MATT: "Corsets all around!" ASHLEY: Best friends corsets.
LAURA: Right, right. TRAVIS: I don't need
a corset. ASHLEY: Yes, just
laces, and you know, boobies up to here,
and all the stuff, and-- MATT: "Would you
like us to incorporate "this breastplate
you're wearing, "the leather bits?"
ASHLEY: Oh yes, of course. How could I forget? MATT: "I'll just--
LAURA: (as Fearne) Oh shit, right. ASHLEY: I also want,
for your accessories, I think I want long
tippy finger jewels. I think I want long
tippy finger jewels. AABRIA: Yes! MATT: "For both hands?" SAM: What's that mean?
ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll do both, well-- MATT: "We'll make you
both, and you can "decide to wear one or the other."
ASHLEY: Make me both and I can decide. MATT: "Make sure
we charge for both." TRAVIS: Yeah!
(laughter) ASHLEY: Maybe some
jewels, just go to town. MATT: "We will go to town." ASHLEY: Ah, love it. MATT: "After all,
the least we could do "for the heroes of
the city. (laughs)" ASHLEY: The protectors
of the-- MATT: "Protectors, protectors."
LAURA: Diarchy. ASHLEY: Diarchy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MATT: "Yes, the Diarchy. (laughs) "Wonderful, wonderful. "We'll get right on it." "With expedited service,
which costs a little extra." TRAVIS: Of course.
MATT: "Mark that down as well. "We might be able to be done
within the next few hours." LAURA: Oh, wow.
CHRISTIAN: Ooh, lovely. LAURA: Do you have any sheer
fabrics with embroidery on them? AABRIA: Ooh. MATT: "I can add embroidery
wherever you like." LAURA: That would
be wonderful, yeah. MATT: "Very well."
TRAVIS: Could you also incorporate, I
love this cloak, and it has a hood that
comes up in my tracksuit. Could I have a removable or
tuckable hood that pops up? (laughter) TRAVIS: I call it--
AABRIA: Full Russian mobster. TRAVIS: -- a hoodie. SAM: Oh, sure, sure.
MATT: (laughs) CHRISTIAN: Oh. Hoodie.
LAURA: That's great. That's real smart. ASHLEY: I don't know if
I like that word at all. TRAVIS: I don't know,
it's a work in progress. (laughter)
TRAVIS: Hood-day. CHRISTIAN: Hood-day?
ASHLEY and LAURA: Hood-day. TRAVIS: Hood-day.
MATT: (Russian) "You must be careful "for this is the realm "of where Chetney Pock O'Pea
is known to lurk." AABRIA: (Russian)
Chetney Pock O'Pea. MATT: "(Russian) He's pretty
dangerous blood hunter." TRAVIS: Also, Deanna.
AABRIA: Yeah. TRAVIS: If you wouldn't mind,
I might also ask for a custom, maybe a knitted something that could cover up
my forehead-- AABRIA: Yes, yes!
TRAVIS: -- and keep the sweat out of my eyes, and
maybe also something matching for my wrists?
SAM: Ooh. AABRIA: Done.
ASHLEY: Wow. AABRIA: Done and done. This
was the best day of my life! TRAVIS: Great. AABRIA: Can I have bigger Uggs?
CHRISTIAN: I'm going to make eye contact-- AABRIA: More poofy.
CHRISTIAN: -- and talk into your head. TRAVIS: (laughs)
LAURA: Okay. LAURA: Is something up?
AABRIA: Hell yes. LAURA: Head connection.
CHRISTIAN: Head connection. LAURA: Yeah. CHRISTIAN: I know your friends
are okay. I mean, I feel it. Is there anything you want
to get here for any of them? LAURA: Oh, wow. I mean, I wouldn't even
begin to know. CHRISTIAN: That's okay.
LAURA: I'll think on it. Thank you for the reminder. CHRISTIAN: Well, the king
and queen are paying. LAURA: (laughs) That's true. I look down at
my red bracelet. I'll think on it. AABRIA: Can we
get a little bull? Just a little bull
embroidered in the corner, so everyone remembers where we all got this from?
ASHLEY: Yes, yes. MATT: Sure.
AABRIA: I would like that very much. ASHLEY: Love it.
MATT: Easy enough to do. Okay, okay. ASHLEY: Wait. I'm going
to go over to Imogen. Should we get anything
for Laudna, and-- LAURA: Oh my gosh,
that's what-- FRIDA literally just thought
of that. We should-- ASHLEY: Oh, really? LAURA: Yeah.
CHRISTIAN: In my head. ASHLEY: Oh, oh. Oh! Okay.
AABRIA: (laughs) TRAVIS: You guys, should we get
something for Laudna, and-- (laughter) ASHLEY: So wild, I just
said that to Imogen, and FRIDA just
said it to her. TRAVIS: I mean, it's like
Orym's the only one that didn't think of it.
What is up with that? LAURA: Orym? That's
not Orym, that's FCG. SAM: Oh, sorry,
I went in the back, I just picked this out for Laudna.
TRAVIS: You guys, this is it. (laughter) SAM: It's like a--
AABRIA: I don't like the way you're holding it.
SAM: It's a black negligee. (laughter) SAM: It's the only black
thing I could find. LAURA: You know what, though? We are all getting
matching corsets, I think it would be nice if we got Laudna a corset to match ours.
ASHLEY: I do, too. Let's get her a corset.
LAURA: In black. AABRIA: That would be so good.
LAURA: I bet she would really appreciate that. ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love that, I love that. SAM: So can I keep this then?
LAURA: Whether she wears it-- Yeah, you can wear that yourself--
SAM: All right. LAURA: -- if you'd like.
TRAVIS: Artists at work. (laughter) MATT: One of the
artisans' assistants marks it down on
the tally. (laughs) All right.
ASHLEY: I think that's it. SAM: I'm going to add
it to my inventory. MATT: So, in the time
waiting for these outfits, you begin knitting
the promised things, which you are a
consummate knitter. ASHLEY: I'm thinking something like--
AABRIA: Notes, give them. ASHLEY: Okay. So, a hood for sure.
AABRIA: How does knitting work? ASHLEY: But you know, it
comes down to a point with a poof at the end.
AABRIA: Of course. What color for the poof?
LAURA: This is like the thing you got me. ASHLEY: Oh god.
MATT: Hm? LAURA: That coat that you got me.
MATT: Mm-hmm. ASHLEY: I'm still
thinking on color. AABRIA: Okay. ASHLEY: Because I
don't know what color the rest of my
outfit will be yet. AABRIA: That's fair.
ASHLEY: Something I'll think about when we start-- AABRIA: Okay, okay, okay.
ASHLEY: -- drawing it out, but that's for later. Then something my
arm can go through, but it also wraps
around, and goes down. AABRIA: Ooh, we like texture,
and a little asymmetrical. ASHLEY: Yes.
AABRIA: Oh, that's so good. ASHLEY: Yes, I've
been watching "Willow." (laughter) TRAVIS: All the vibes!
ASHLEY: One of the characters has a really cool knit piece. TRAVIS: Yeah.
ASHLEY: That's the inspo. AABRIA: Done, done.
ASHLEY: It's really cute. (laughter) ASHLEY: But I'll give you a drawing.
AABRIA: Yeah, of course. ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Okay. AABRIA: I'm going to need
all of your best alpaca, just all the good--
I want your best fiber. This is for my friends. MATT: "That can be done. "There are the finest
of Flotket sheep, "and goat wool that has been--"
TRAVIS: Nice. MATT: "-- prepared for
just such an endeavor. "What dye coloration
would you prefer?" AABRIA: All of them. I need to have-- (gasps)
MATT: (magical poofs) You watch as she magically
changes the color of all the different clusters.
TRAVIS: She's awesome. Fuck. AABRIA: I may die here. I
may die in here, right now. ASHLEY: We'll
take all of them. MATT: (rapid magical poofs) Gets you a rainbow spree. LAURA: Wow.
TRAVIS: King and queen are going to be like,
"What the fuck?!" (laughter)
MATT: Oh, they're going to be-- TRAVIS: You better
rein that in. ASHLEY: We did a very good deed.
AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: You did, you did.
CHRISTIAN and AABRIA: (laugh) MATT: But quicker than you expected,
the outfits are presented. SAM: Amazing.
LAURA: Wow. MATT: All individually signed in
hidden areas by Catlyn herself. A Delafin mark. AABRIA: Amazing. TRAVIS: Damn. ASHLEY: FCG, you look great! SAM: Why thank you. ASHLEY: How was your date? AABRIA: Ooh? ASHLEY: Just hanging out. AABRIA: Yeah, how was it? SAM: Yeah, it was good. Yeah, we just
walked and talked, and c-caught up on stuff. I got a little tour
of the city. I met Jaquoby, and, you know, nothing happened. CHRISTIAN: Yeah, nothing happened.
SAM: Everything was fine. AABRIA: Insight check.
CHRISTIAN: I walk up and I grab his hand.
TRAVIS: Why would anything happen? AABRIA: Goddamn it. SAM: (laughs) TRAVIS: (laughs)
LAURA: (laughs) ASHLEY: Oh. How nice. LAURA: In your head, you
hear: What happened? AABRIA: (laughs) SAM: Well, more than what happened
with you and Pretty. AABRIA: Damn!
LAURA: Oh shit. (laughter) TRAVIS: Oh boy. AABRIA: I don't
care, I felt that. I felt that.
MATT: (laughs) CHRISTIAN: You'd see as he was
made a little uncomfortable by this, I slip by,
I stand next to him, and grab his hand.
LAURA: And pat his butt. CHRISTIAN: And tap him on his--
(laughter) TRAVIS: Clank clank.
MATT and AABRIA: Yeah! (laughter) AABRIA: Incredible.
CHRISTIAN: I hold his hand. ASHLEY: Oh.
LAURA: Oh wow! AABRIA: Oh! SAM: We don't have to
make a big thing of it, but yeah, I mean,
this is happening. (laughter) SAM: So, you know.
AABRIA: Are you okay? SAM: Uh-uh. Yeah. How's my stress points doing? AABRIA: (laughs)
MATT: You know what? You take one--
SAM: Uh-huh? MATT: -- lose one.
SAM: Oh. MATT: Then take another.
SAM: Oh! AABRIA: Yay!
MATT: (laughs) So you're up one.
SAM: Okay. AABRIA: Nice.
TRAVIS: Sounds right. LAURA: Yeah, that
sounds about right. SAM: We should get a rest. AABRIA: Yeah, okay. TRAVIS: We should, yeah.
Hold on. I can't. Higher?
Lower? Higher? AABRIA: Lower.
TRAVIS: Lower. MATT: It's got some
room to it, you know? But it definitely has
some stretch to give. TRAVIS: Yeah.
ASHLEY: Are the bottom of the pants--? LAURA: Oh, I can't wait.
If he turns into a wolf-- ASHLEY: Cut.
MATT: Oh yeah. LAURA: -- and he's still
in the tracksuit. (laughter) MATT: It was designed to grow--
LAURA: Oh my god. MATT: -- much like
the Hulk's pants. CHRISTIAN: Yes. Yes!
AABRIA: Oh my god. LAURA: A wolf in a hoodie? CHRISTIAN: Tracksuit mafia. LAURA: It makes me so happy.
AABRIA: Let's fucking go. MATT: You know,
role-playing games. TRAVIS: There's a
small flap in the butt where the tail can just boop. (laughter)
AABRIA: Oh! LAURA: It's so cute!
ASHLEY: (tail springing out) MATT: Oh my goodness.
AABRIA: Adorable. TRAVIS: (tail springing out)
(laughter) MATT: "Well, I hope
you're all happy "with the work we've done here."
SAM: We sure are! TRAVIS: It's immaculate.
SAM: It's fantastic. MATT: "Should you ever "want any updates,
upgrades, or more decrees "from the king and queen
with a blank check, "please do come back. "We are ever happy to make
commission work. (laughs)" TRAVIS: Thank you!
We'll be sure to tell everyone.
ASHLEY: Thank you so much! MATT: "Yes, please do.
Spread the word! (chuckles)" CHRISTIAN: You all drinking
and eating folks, did you like that bubbly
alcohol that they gave you? TRAVIS: The champers?
CHRISTIAN: The champers? TRAVIS: Yeah, that
and other stuff. CHRISTIAN: Can we have--
AABRIA: Yeah. CHRISTIAN: -- a bottle or
two of the champers? AABRIA: Champers!
TRAVIS: Champers. CHRISTIAN: Champers?
ASHLEY: Champers, yeah. MATT: "Two bottles of champers."
CHRISTIAN: Yes. MATT: (mutters) "Over the
top of this group." (normal volume) "Yes, right
over here, there we go." AABRIA: I'm done. ASHLEY: Great idea.
CHRISTIAN: Oh. TRAVIS: Bwah!
SAM: (bubbles exploding) TRAVIS: We got it.
(laughter) MATT: Very well. SAM: A night of rest, and then
we set off in the morning? TRAVIS: A night of rest.
AABRIA: Let's go. TRAVIS: As we're heading back,
I wanted to ask, though, you guys mentioned that you were
in Eiselcross before this? AABRIA: Mm-hmm. TRAVIS: What were
you doing up there? AABRIA: Let's talk
about it in the house. TRAVIS: Okay, yep. LAURA: Oh.
AABRIA: Drunk walk. MATT: You all are
gathered back up, because it is now evening,
as the time has passed of the day with you wandering
about, doing the commissions, checking in with people,
doing your own business. But the sun is set
on the outside, but here on the mountain, the
transition has gone unnoticed, pardon me, other
than the lights of the-- the still working
lights of the city dimming naturally
ever so slightly to help those adjust to
the changing of the time. Eventually you come
back to Deanna's home, the comfortable
warm interior, and begin to settle
in for the evening. AABRIA: So, FRIDA gets dreams, so we were
like, let's go find Aeor. So we went, and it was bad. You got more to add to that?
LAURA: You went to Aeor? CHRISTIAN: Eiselcross, we--
AABRIA: Yeah. CHRISTIAN: Yeah, the ruins.
We were trying to see if maybe I could feel
some sort of connection, or learn more
about my dreams, but when we got there,
it was crawling with all kinds of
bad folks, and-- LAURA: Oh.
AABRIA: Xhorhasian soldiers everywhere,
and monsters, and it was the scariest
thing in the world until we met you guys. ASHLEY: Whoa.
TRAVIS: Dang! AABRIA: Yeah. SAM: So, you just went
to snoop around, and then, but you were chased away? Did you get to
see anything, or--? CHRISTIAN: We made a decision
that we should probably leave, maybe come back at a later
time when we were more prepared, because I don't think
we could've handled the trouble that we
were walking into there. LAURA: It's very difficult
to get to, isn't it? CHRISTIAN: Yes.
AABRIA: Mm-hmm. SAM: Yet you said it was
crawling with soldiers, like hundreds? Thousands?
AABRIA: Oh. No. SAM: Dozens? AABRIA: Jeez.
Split the difference. SAM: Hundreds.
AABRIA: Many hundreds. SAM: Hundreds.
LAURA: Wow. TRAVIS: That's busy
up there. Huh. AABRIA: They're staking their
claim, looking for stuff. CHRISTIAN: Powerful magic there, I imagine.
AABRIA: Trying to scavenge. TRAVIS: Real estate is valuable.
LAURA: I wonder what it's like now. AABRIA: Mm-hmm.
CHRISTIAN: That's a good question. AABRIA: Hmm. CHRISTIAN: I would like very
much to return at some point in the future.
AABRIA: Of course. TRAVIS: Oh, we're doing
this. We're going to go for the ruins of
Molaesmyr tomorrow. LAURA: This is so weird. SAM: Are you
nervous, Chetney? TRAVIS: Well, yeah. I mean,
I don't want to get my new dope tracksuit
all fucked up. (laughter) SAM: That's true.
TRAVIS: Or maybe I do. I can't tell. But also, this is an
upgrade from, I don't know, the previous 400 years for me.
CHRISTIAN: (laughs) AABRIA: Oh, it's not--
Okay, yeah, cool. TRAVIS: You know?
AABRIA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Oh I know. It's
200, skip, it's a-- AABRIA: No, see, it's so wild--
TRAVIS: I know. AABRIA: Numbers.
Time is linear. CHRISTIAN: I think
it's worth asking. This is our fight as well, but your fight. Is it okay if Deanna and I join
you? Do you want us there? AABRIA: Wait, were
we not going to go? TRAVIS: Whoa, that's a little--
ASHLEY: Wait, wait, what? AABRIA: Were you not going
to let us go with you? TRAVIS: Of course, yeah.
ASHLEY: We couldn't do it ourselves. SAM: It could
be very dangerous, you could be hurt
in the process. Are you sure you want to? AABRIA: I'm very good
at not staying hurt. SAM: What? (laughter) TRAVIS: Let me get you
some water, hold on. (laughter) AABRIA: I'm good at
keeping people up. SAM: Yeah. AABRIA: And it's
more dangerous now if you can't
bring people back. TRAVIS: Oh shit,
that's right. AABRIA: We want to help. CHRISTIAN: I think it's important,
if things get too sticky, we run. We can't bring
anyone back, so. TRAVIS: Very fair. CHRISTIAN: If we got to get out of
there, we got to get out of there. TRAVIS: I just assumed,
because this shit is crazy, that you guys wouldn't
want to come. AABRIA: What? Do you think
we want to stay at home? Sorry, stay at home here? TRAVIS: Not the velvet! LAURA: Prestidigitation.
TRAVIS: Oh! Thank you. CHRISTIAN: That is so cool.
LAURA: Yeah. AABRIA: You're so cool.
TRAVIS: Dry cleaning. AABRIA: No. You guys are
the most exciting thing that's happened to us since
we found each other. LAURA: Prestidigitation.
TRAVIS: No! (laughter) AABRIA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Prestidigitation, but I miss. TRAVIS: No one's
talking about it! (laughter) TRAVIS: Prestidigitation! (laughter) AABRIA: And do--
why would, eh, why, wait. It would be boring to
stay here without you all. ASHLEY: No, no, no, you're
coming, you're coming. AABRIA: Thank you!
ASHLEY: You're coming, we wouldn't be able to, what did we get
best friends corsets for? AABRIA: We're best friends?
ASHLEY: Yeah. TRAVIS: You do have
matching corsets. AABRIA: Is that
going to be weird? TRAVIS: Matching corsets?
AABRIA: No, because we banged in the day. (laughter) TRAVIS: It's true. AABRIA: Yeah. LAURA: I'll just, I'm going to
pick up the champagne with my Mage Hand,
and just hmm. AABRIA: Probably a good call. No, my juice, no. TRAVIS: Oh no! (laughter) AABRIA: Okay,
then it's settled. We all go together
in the morning. TRAVIS: Yeah, Matron of Ravens
temple before we go, and then--
LAURA: Oh yeah. TRAVIS: We grab some goats. LAURA: (coughs) AABRIA: Oh yeah. SAM: Why are we going
to the Matron of? TRAVIS: I just want to
see if it's weird, or broken, or cracked. LAURA: I would like to see
if the Matron is suffering the same as the
rest of the gods. TRAVIS: Just because
they were all wearing the weird emblems and stuff. LAURA: And what does it mean
if the goddess of death is not around? TRAVIS: Yeah, it might be the
same as everybody else. It could be fast, but--
ASHLEY: Maybe nobody dies. CHRISTIAN: That's
a horrible idea. AABRIA: No, I think that's the
opposite of what we learned. People dying
and staying dead. ASHLEY: This is very song--
strong champers-- AABRIA: Right?
(laughter) AABRIA: I'm going to run
across the room to wherever Imogen put it down.
LAURA: Nope, nope. AABRIA: I got you!
LAURA: Nope, nope, nope-- AAABRIA: Don't hold it up
high, come on! (laughter) AABRIA: Rude! TRAVIS: Rah!
AABRIA: Oh! (laughter) LAURA: It's going to be a
early morning, you know? It's going to be so. TRAVIS: Do we get
breakfast round two? AABRIA: Hell yeah.
TRAVIS: Hell yeah. AABRIA: This will
be my masterpiece. TRAVIS: All right, well,
D team's taking the couch just in case anybody gets ♪ A-lonely hah, hoo ♪ SAM: Good god. (laughter) AABRIA: Mm-mm. MATT: Lesser Restoration comes
in handy as a cleric. AABRIA: 100%.
MATT: Hangover! I'm good. AABRIA: That's why she
drinks like a fish. She's like, I've never had a hangover
for more than two minutes. TRAVIS: No problem, let's
just hope it's still around in the morning. AABRIA: Thank you! (cackles) I've never had a consequence. (laughter) MATT: All righty, any business
anyone wants to get to before the evening's done? ASHLEY: I forgot a piece of jewelry
at Catlyn's, so I'm going to run out there
really quick and go get it. TRAVIS: At whose?
ASHLEY: Catlyn, the clothing-- SAM: Going shopping again.
TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: Needed some more stuff. CHRISTIAN: You'll be
okay, Ms. Calloway? ASHLEY: Oh, yes yes
yes yes yes. AABRIA: Are you lying
to do crimes? ASHLEY: I'm not doing crimes.
AABRIA: Okay. CHRISTIAN: If you
are doing crimes, you should let us know. AABRIA: We'll help.
ASHLEY: I'm not doing crimes. I'm definitely
not doing crimes. TRAVIS: She's got to toot.
She's got to go outside. ASHLEY: I have
really bad gas. AABRIA: You don't
have to lie. SAM: It was the bulgogi.
ASHLEY: It was the bulgogi. (laughter) ASHLEY: It was
the bulgogi. AABRIA: I'm glad we
stopped on the way. It was good takeaway.
ASHLEY: Delicious. How close is the Wildmother
temple that you were saying, that's like
the little stairs? TRAVIS: On the top
of a mountain, right? ASHLEY: Is it outside?
MATT: It's outside of the city, and it's along the mountain,
a little bit of a journey. ASHLEY: I misunderstood.
MATT: It's okay. It'll take you,
from where you are, because you're technically
on the top disc where Deanna's abode is,
so it's maybe, you'd assume, between a 15 and
20 minute walk. ASHLEY: All right.
I'll be right back! I'll be right back.
I'll be right back. MATT: Okay, so you head
out of the city, heading up the steps. The Glassblades
there recognize you as the one who fled from
the terrifying spider creature not but a few hours before.
ASHLEY: I'll be right back. I'll be right back. MATT: "Of course, Miss.
Of course, Miss." You step out into
the moonlit night above. You can see now,
for this evening, most of the clouds
have dissipated, and the stars are above,
and the technicolor aurora still glides across the
horizon on different tethers. You can see the long leyline
strings, not ever-present, but you can visually see
where the gossamer threads slightly shift and drift
in their place in the sky, all convening at
far distance points that you can't quite
make out in the distance. You can see the snow-covered
forest below in the ravine and the nearby mountains
that surround you in the alps. As you glance beyond the
outskirts of the Gruffside Livery and the entry point
to the city, the other walls
and the towers, you can see the stone steps that curl up and switchback
up the side of the mountain. ASHLEY: Wow, that champers
keeps you so warm. CHRISTIAN and MATT: (laugh) ASHLEY: Okay. I'm
walking up to the-- MATT: You eventually come to
an outcropping that juts out from the mountain, about
20 feet by 30 or so feet. It's simple. There is a small stone fence that's marked to prevent
anyone from tumbling off it. In the center of it, you can
see there is a small garden that grows beautifully, and while everything
else around here still carries a coat of snow, no snow seems to have fallen on the greenery within
this small circle. It's an odd
little visual here in the midst of the cold night
air, the flowers still open like the sun is fully
there to receive them. In the middle of it,
you see about a four foot, smaller than any other
statue you've seen, but a four-foot statue of
a relief of the Wildmother standing there, her form,
her arms up and smiling. ASHLEY: All right.
I'm going to go up to it. Pull some flowers out of
the dirt and put it-- LAURA: (laughs) ASHLEY: (knocks) Knock on the statue.
MATT: Okay. ASHLEY: Hey, bitch. AABRIA: (whispering)
Hey, bitch? ASHLEY: I don't know
how to do this. I don't even know if you're
there. Could be dead. Could be talking to nothing,
which I actually do a lot. Never mind. Okay. I came here to
say, if you're there, maybe you can talk
to my friend Orym maybe you can talk
to my friend Orym and try to say
that we're okay and we're alive and hopefully we'll
see you soon. I think that's it. All right. Well,
I'm going to-- I'm going to go
back, unless-- Are you supposed to say
anything to me? Do I do-- Amen. CHRISTIAN: (chuckles) ASHLEY: Do I hear anything? MATT: Make a
perception check. ASHLEY: 23.
SAM: Ooh! MATT: 23. You stand
there in the silence, looking over the dark,
moon-rimmed ravine, a little bit of Catha's
light that gleams across. All you hear is (hollow
blowing) the cold wind blowing through
the mountain range. Maybe that's a
sign. Who knows? ASHLEY: I think you
might be dead. I think-- All right. Well,
I'm going to go. Sorry I called you bitch. It was a term of endearment, because that's what
happens when I drink. I just get really friendly.
AABRIA: (laughs) All right. Okay, I'm going to go. Bye. MATT: You look back at it,
the flowers you've left behind, the welcoming appearance
of the Wildmother's relief and think on Orym,
and then trek back down the somewhat slick and
treacherous steps. But thankfully, you're a
creature whose body is designed for traversing such dangerous
mountainous terrain. ASHLEY: Billy goat. MATT: You leap down a few
steps at a time before landing in a soft bank of snow, and then
heading back into the city. ASHLEY: Open the gates! (laughter)
(heavy gate shifting) MATT: They open.
ASHLEY: Night! (laughter)
MATT: "Goodnight, Miss! "She's kind of cute."
Doors close. LAURA: Kind of?
ASHLEY: I head back. MATT and LAURA: (laugh) MATT: Eventually returning
to your friends. ASHLEY: I head back. I'm going to go over to
Chetney on the couch. MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: I'm going to flick him on the nose. TRAVIS: Ah! ASHLEY: Hey, dumbass.
TRAVIS: What? ASHLEY: If you don't make a move
on that woman, I'm going to. TRAVIS: Oh. Sorry,
I just woke up. Are you saying you
want to join, or-- ASHLEY: No, no, no, no, no.
TRAVIS: -- me make-- ASHLEY: Chetney.
TRAVIS: What? ASHLEY: The chemistry.
She's wonderful. TRAVIS: Totally. ASHLEY: You need to-- I'm a fan. I feel like
she's very special, and I don't think you
should pass that up. But if you're not wanting to,
just tell me, so that I can. TRAVIS: Damn. Well, I
put the invite out, so I don't want to
overstep my bounds. Plus, the champers has been,
you know, doing its thing, so I didn't want to--
ASHLEY: Sure, sure, sure. AABRIA: Ow! In the back room. TRAVIS: You hear? Trust me, I remember
that from two hundo ago. It was a thing on the beach.
ASHLEY: I bet. TRAVIS: You wouldn't believe. We got almost arrested
a couple times. ASHLEY: Really?
TRAVIS: Yep. Public voyeurism. It was a whole thing. ASHLEY: Wow.
TRAVIS: Yeah. We'd leave sand angels
on the shoreline. It was incredible. ASHLEY: No way!
TRAVIS: Yep, like a rotoscope. You could walk along the beach
and see the different poses. AABRIA: Told a story.
TRAVIS: Yep. LAURA: (laughs)
ASHLEY: That is-- TRAVIS: The faster you
ran, the hotter it got. (laughter)
AABRIA: A zoetrope. TRAVIS: A zoetrope!
That's what I meant! AABRIA: Yeah, I got you,
I got you, I got you. TRAVIS: Thank you.
Rotoscope, zoetrope. MATT: The concord's weirdly
tight on this kind of thing. (laughter) TRAVIS: But listen.
ASHLEY: Yeah. TRAVIS: All's fair in love and war.
ASHLEY: Yeah. TRAVIS: I'm just saying.
ASHLEY: All right. TRAVIS: All right.
ASHLEY: Game on. I'm going to go up
for my slumber party. TRAVIS: Oh shit!
(laughter) AABRIA: Yeah! MATT: Okay.
ASHLEY: All right. ASHLEY: I'm back!
(laughter) LAURA: Hey, bitch, hey.
ASHLEY: Hey, bitch! AABRIA: What's up? You're
cold from outside, maybe. Drink this. LAURA: Oh!
AABRIA: Yeah. ASHLEY: How're we feeling?
AABRIA: Oh god, so good. LAURA: Mm-hmm.
ASHLEY: Yeah. LAURA: What jewelry did you get?
ASHLEY: I got-- I didn't go to get jewelry. I went to the Wildmother altar. LAURA: Outside of town? ASHLEY: Yeah.
I wanted to just-- Maybe there's a connection
there with Orym, I don't know. LAURA: Oh my god.
ASHLEY: Just to say we're alive. LAURA: Did you find something?
AABRIA: That's so smart. ASHLEY: No, I didn't.
I don't think-- I don't know if
she's even there. But I just thought it was-- AABRIA: I stopped by my
temple when we were walking. I think there's all of
the priests of all of them, are like, no one's picking up!
ASHLEY: No one's picking up. AABRIA: But it doesn't
feel like they're gone. Just like they're like,
fucking, who's this? LAURA: They're running away.
AABRIA: That. I think they're
really, really worried about whatever you
guys saw from the-- No, I'm not going
to remember. Say it. I don't remember
what it was called. LAURA: Predathos.
Apogee Solstice. ASHLEY: Apogee Solstice.
AABRIA: So many new words. LAURA: Yeah. It is scary and weird.
ASHLEY: Are you doing all right? LAURA: I mean, as well
as any of us. It's so strange to not
know what's happening, just go about our business
and have no way of making sure. AABRIA: That's because you're
in people's heads all the time, right, so you're used to
knowing lots of stuff? LAURA: I am. You know
what's funny? This is the first time I've
been in a city in 10 years when I haven't been enveloped
by everybody's thoughts. It's so freeing. It's like I can finally
feel like myself again. It's happening at
the worst time. AABRIA: Yeah. I'm sorry.
LAURA: No, it's-- It's good, it's bad, it's
everything. It's everything. ASHLEY: That seems to
be how life works, where you have really intense
moments of happiness, but sometimes they
only happen when really bad things
are also happening. LAURA: Yeah. AABRIA: It's like when you
bake, and you make cookies, and you make a
chocolate chip cookie, but you put just a little
bit of salt on the top. The salt makes
you understand how sweet the sweetness
is, you know? LAURA: You should probably
give that hint to FCG, because I know he's
working hard at figuring out
those recipes. AABRIA: He's doing so good
for someone who can't taste a goddamn thing.
LAURA: So good. I know! ASHLEY: I know!
AABRIA: Wild. ASHLEY: It is wild.
AABRIA: The texture, it's a little crazy, but-- LAURA: They're really good at
following directions, though, so, you know.
ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. LAURA: I mean, I think
that's part of their programming and stuff.
ASHLEY: Very much so. And FRIDA and FCG!
AABRIA: Oh my god, I know, right? LAURA: What happened? I think something happened.
AABRIA: I don't know, but they were holding hands. LAURA: Are they together
in the room right now? Are they just together
in FRIDA's room? AABRIA: Fun fact. That's my kid's room.
LAURA: Oh! AABRIA: I go and lean
against the wall. It's a paper thin wall.
This is a cheap house. You can hear what's in
there if you just lean in. LAURA: All of us.
AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: All right, so the two
of you, what are you up to? (laughter) CHRISTIAN: I don't know. LAURA: (moans)
(laughter) (laughter)
TRAVIS: Laura Bailey! MATT: Goddamn it, Laura!
TRAVIS: No chill! What the fuck? AABRIA: A queen,
an icon, a legend. ASHLEY: A queen, an icon, extraordinary.
AABRIA: Give the people what they want. SAM: Metal on metal,
just scraping. AABRIA: Yeah!
SAM: (metallic screeching) ASHLEY: Metal on metal!
TRAVIS: Sounds like a drum set. AABRIA: Just a jackhammer.
(laughter) MATT: I was going to say
like a fucking derby. Cars crashing into each other.
LAURA: Oh yeah! (clangs metallic water bottle) MATT: No, but for real! Please, what's going
on with you guys? CHRISTIAN: That was a
lot of stuff today. SAM: Yeah, it was a
great day, though, and it's so nice
that our friends are so supportive
and understanding, giving us space. AABRIA: (claps) (shouts) Kiss! (claps)
TRAVIS: (laughs) CHRISTIAN: I didn't realize
how thin these walls were. SAM: I didn't realize how alcoholic that champagne--
ASHLEY: Don't forget to attach your meat tongue! SAM: God.
CHRISTIAN: You have a meat tongue? SAM: It's weird. It's like--
LAURA: No! SAM: It's like a
Schrödinger's tongue. If you try to perceive
it, it's not there. ASHLEY: (laughs) AABRIA: You can only see it out of the corner of your eye.
MATT: Phantom tongue syndrome? SAM: Yeah. AABRIA: Oh no!
SAM: It's real, but only in quantum space. TRAVIS: Quantum space? MATT: I hate this.
CHRISTIAN: I was going to ask if you wanted to maybe
enter my dream again, but I think that
would sully what we had today, so
maybe we can just-- I mean, I've never slept
with someone else. Maybe we can hold hands
and power off together. SAM: That sounds great.
That sounds great. That would be the perfect
ending to a perfect day. CHRISTIAN: I like you, FCG. SAM: I like you, FRIDA. Oh boy. CHRISTIAN: Faithful Care-Giver.
It suits you. SAM: I guess so. CHRISTIAN: You want to give
them a little something? I lean in and kiss, and
you hear the clink. AABRIA: Yes!
SAM: Oh! MATT: (laughs) AABRIA: (howls) SAM: I didn't think my body
could tense up like that. (laughter)
ASHLEY: Aww! SAM: Oh boy. CHRISTIAN: Okay. SAM: My joints are
a little tight. Maybe you need to, you
know, screw me a little. CHRISTIAN: Okay. (laughter)
TRAVIS: I fucking can't. SAM: There you go.
CHRISTIAN: Is that good? SAM: Yep. Oh yep.
CHRISTIAN: Harder? Harder? SAM: Tight, tight.
CHRISTIAN: Tight, okay. AABRIA and LAURA: Oh my god!
ASHLEY: What is happening? I wonder how
this is working. SAM: You just screwed me.
LAURA: What are they doing? AABRIA: I'm Minor Illusion-ing
what I think is happening, and it's incredibly graphic.
LAURA: It's really graphic. AABRIA: It's very graphic.
LAURA: Which one, I don't-- CHRISTIAN: Do you mind if I--
ASHLEY: Impressive. CHRISTIAN: Can I sketch you?
SAM: That would be wonderful. LAURA: Like one of
your French girls? (laughter) CHRISTIAN: I didn't say it.
MATT: (laughs) Oh no! SAM: I'll just sort
of lie down. (laughter) MATT: Oh my god! (laughs)
LAURA: I can't. AABRIA: Yes!
SAM: With my wheel just sort of seductively
spinning. CHRISTIAN: I'm just going
to adjust a little bit. AABRIA: Sparkles, sparkles.
ASHLEY: Your one leg crossed. SAM: The fake wooden
foot kind of-- (laughter) AABRIA: Hellish. Hellish. CHRISTIAN: And the curtain
fades to black. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: One metal hand hits the
condensation on the window. AABRIA: Yeah! (laughter) MATT: (metal squeaking on glass) AABRIA: What is the moisture? (laughter) AABRIA: What is the moisture? (laughter) ASHLEY: Oh my god.
LAURA: Wow. SAM: ♪ Take my breath away ♪ AABRIA: No!
(laughter) LAURA: Meat tongue. SAM: Oh yes, the
meat tongue. (laughter) MATT: Y'all made Exandria
a weird place. AABRIA: Yay!
TRAVIS: (laughs) AABRIA: This is your world. CHRISTIAN: This is your playground,
Matt Mercer. MATT: Indeed, indeed.
Collaboration, storytelling. ASHLEY: Collaboration! MATT: Any other business
before the night is done? TRAVIS: Nothing for
Chetney, I guess. MATT: All right.
AABRIA: That's on you, bo. MATT: Okay, then
the night concludes, a full evening's rest
is had by all. Eventually,
the morning greets you and I imagine depending on
how hungover you want to be. AABRIA: Lesser Restoration,
just pa-kow, let's go! MATT: A repeat of the
morning's breakfast with some changes and shifts? AABRIA: Nah,
we're doubling down. I think this has got to be
a carbo load situation. So we're adding-- There's a biscuit
moment happening. CHRISTIAN: Oh!
MATT: Okay. Heavy starches like potatoes? AABRIA: Biscuits
and gravy, yeah. MATT: Okay, okay, okay. What's the gravy base? AABRIA: Yeah, oh, I found
some good goat milk so it's a very heavy
fat-forward. MATT: All righty, hell yeah. ASHLEY: Yes! MATT: All right, for those of
you who can enjoy that meal, it's delicious. ASHLEY: I provided
the goat milk. (laughing) LAURA: Oh my god.
AABRIA: Yeah! It's got a little
champers in it. ASHLEY: No, I mean--!
He's leav-- TRAVIS: He's gone!
ASHLEY: No, you know, goats make milk! TRAVIS: Matt's out.
AABRIA: I'll go, I'll go, I don't care.
MATT: Too much. SAM: Beast Shape into a goat
and milk yourself. ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. AABRIA: So what you're saying
is if you were a goat, would you milk yourself? ASHLEY: Yeah!
AABRIA: Yeah. SAM: Matthew.
MATT: Yes? (laughter) SAM: I'd like to Identify
those gloves. MATT: Oh, okay.
SAM: From yesterday. MATT: Yes, indeed,
yes, indeed. SAM: Or the day before.
I can't even remember. LAURA: Yesterday. MATT: Those are
Weavepiercer Gloves. LAURA: Ooh.
AABRIA: Fun! I got it, I got it! Oh! Shit, that was very cool! MATT: "The Prestige."
(laughter) SAM: Why, did you
have something else? ASHLEY: No, I forgot
about the ring. TRAVIS: Oh yeah. ASHLEY: I don't know if
it's anything with some-- SAM: I mean, it might be. I mean, we can
just look at it and see if it radiates
with arcane energy. AABRIA: Yeah, I can
Detect Magic on that. SAM: Yeah, go for it.
AABRIA: Sweet. SAM: Oh, these are spell-
casting focus gloves. MATT: That ring
is not magical, but it is worth
a pretty penny. AABRIA: Nice, I switch from
Detect Magic to a jeweler's loupe. Like, "Okay." (laughs) MATT: You get the sense,
depending on who's buying, and who you're selling to, a fence or someone won't
give you a top dollar, but you could probably sell
that for somewhere between 300 to 500 gold. TRAVIS: Oh!
AABRIA: Three to five. If you find a
bad fence, though-- Don't sell this on
the Liber Disc. They're not going to give
you good dollar for that. ASHLEY: Thank you so much. (laughter) SAM: Or Fearne,
but I think more you. ASHLEY: I feel like fingerless
gloves are so you, but let me just--
MATT: For either of you, really. SAM: They're for
targeting-type spells. MATT: Correct, yeah,
it doesn't affect DC, but it affects the attack
roll to hit things. LAURA: But don't you
do things that-- Do you use things
that use attack rolls or do you use
things that use? ASHLEY: A little of both.
LAURA: A little of both, same. SAM: Is it attunement? AABRIA: What if one of you
each wears a glove? (laughter) MATT: You each get a plus one.
(laughter) AABRIA: We can go halfsies
on some gloves. LAURA: I would lose my
ring of protection. SAM: Eugh. LAURA: So I would
lose my AC bonus. ASHLEY: I know, I feel like
I would lose my-- SAM: Also, Matthew.
MATT: Yes? SAM: After they figure
out this shiz. On the way to
the Matron's temple. If I can pick up
some ivory strips, incense, some diamond dust,
any of that stuff around. MATT: Incense, everything
else you can find. How much diamond dust
are you looking for? SAM: 100 gold's worth. MATT: 100 gold's worth,
you can do that. You can muster that
before you leave. SAM: Okay.
MATT: Not a problem. SAM: All right. MATT: Indeed, you eventually
find the Matron's temple, while you don't know the
name of it necessarily, you passed it
a couple of times. It's hard to
see this looming, massive closet of a temple that is dark stone
set in the back that while other buildings, there's nothing built within
probably a 30-foot, 40-foot radius of it. It looms against
the back wall. AABRIA: I thought it
was a Hot Topic. (laughter)
MATT: You're not wrong. The goth club nights on
Saturdays are pretty great. But as you look, they're
these two solid doors that's at the front that
eventually come to a fair point at the
top before closing off. Almost like
upside-down coffins. Not quite that goth,
but that kind of a vibe. And they're closed. TRAVIS: Oh, anyone
standing up around outside? MATT: Mm-mm.
TRAVIS: Oh, okay. FRIDA, will you join me? Knock on the door. MATT: (heavy thudding) TRAVIS: Can I smell, listen,
hear, all of that? MATT: Yeah, make
a perception check. CHRISTIAN: I can help. MATT: Okay, so do
it with advantage. Which you do already
had as a wolf. TRAVIS: 16.
MATT: 16. Eventually, you do hear
some feet shuffles from beyond the door,
ever so faintly that stop and stay there. TRAVIS: Just a
quick question, we're not looking
to pray or anything. MATT: (heavy thud)
(creaking) It opens ever
so slightly. It cracks open
about six inches, and a human woman in a black
veil with a headband around it with a central
round, red gem pokes her head through. Doesn't quite make
eye contact with you, just looks past you as
she goes to the door. "Yes?" TRAVIS: I suddenly feel
incredibly out of my depth. AABRIA: You're doing great. TRAVIS: We have noticed
since the Apogee Solstice, a disturbance amongst
the Prime Deities. Can you feel the Matron? MATT: "The Matron remains, "though her thoughts
are distant. "We trust in her plan." TRAVIS: Could I try to
peek in through the door to see what kind of crazy
shit is in a temple for the Goddess of Death? MATT: The door closes.
TRAVIS: (shouts) MATT: You glance inside
and you can see there are these
dual archways that come to a
central point where there are
chandeliers hanging from it, and it gives the inside of
a cavernous ribcage vibe. But they're these
dual arches that come to an end
point where they hang and then they continue
on back like vertebrae and you get just into
a glance towards that before the doors close. AABRIA: That does sound pretty cool.
CHRISTIAN: Do you need to go in there? TRAVIS: No, no, seems like
the same sort of answer. CHRISTIAN: Okay.
TRAVIS: All right, let's pick out some goats. AABRIA: Yeah!
MATT: (laughs) Gathering all the materials and supplies you need
for the journey ahead. The weekish journey ahead,
should weather and everything else be kind. You bring the last of
your necessary seals from the king and queen
of the Diarchy to the top side where
the Gruffside Livery is and are granted to you six
massive Flotket Alp goats. and are granted to you six
massive Flotket Alp goats. You may pick of them
and I'll let you decide what they look like and
what you wish to name them if you choose to. AABRIA: I want the fuzziest
one because I'm going to shave it when we have to get rid of it. TRAVIS: (laughs) What?
LAURA: Oh my gosh. TRAVIS: Oh, for material?
AABRIA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Hell yeah, okay.
MATT: "You're going to want Jerry," and points to the back. Jerry is this completely-- You can't even see the eyes, it's like that alpaca
that's been left too long and you just see the snout and then this massive
explosion of fuzz, and these little horns that barely poke
out the sides. Right as you look at it,
it goes (bleats). AABRIA: Let's go, Jerry
girl, you're mine. MATT: (bleats) It is the softest climb. (laughs) They go ahead and get, all
of them are given means of reins and a saddle
and everything, as well as side packs for
any of the gear you need. These are designed for
trekking across the mountains, so they are massive, but
they're also well-fitted for long journeys. So we got the
super fluffy one. What are you guys going for?
TRAVIS: I'm going for the biggest overachieving
son of bitch ever. Biggest-ass goat,
littlest-ass rider. Give me the musky one. MATT: (laughs) AABRIA: He's over compensating.
MATT: You going to call him Musky? TRAVIS: 100%, well Musk, yes. You know, I'm all
about that musk. (laughter) MATT: "All right, we'll go
ahead and get Musky for you. "Go ahead and bring Musky!" This is a very young goat,
but it's one of those-- You know how some dogs
or some animals, they have that gene where their
body creates too much muscle and they look like massively
ripped for no reason? This goat seems to
fall in that category. It's like-- (impacts) (bleats)
(laughter) TRAVIS: Fuck yes! MATT: Massive bulging,
square-pupilled eyes, the horns are way too big
and they curl inward, and it has the bulldog walk which you think would
be bad for a goat trying to go onto
the mountain sides, but we'll see how
well it does. But you see them, they've had
to extend the saddle leather like twice to get
it around its torso. AABRIA: Look at this
thick bitch. TRAVIS: Holy shit. MATT: Make an animal handling
check as it comes up to you. TRAVIS: Perfect.
MATT: (bleats) TRAVIS: Eight.
LAURA: Oh no. CHRISTIAN: Oh man.
SAM: Oh no. MATT: (spits)
TRAVIS: (yells) MATT: Just spits right
in your face. AABRIA: Perfect. TRAVIS: I'll wear it
with pride. MATT: It seems to acknowledge
it with a head nod. You found Musky. (laughter) SAM: If there's a pretty
goat, just a pretty thing with little braided
locks or something. AABRIA: Aww!
MATT: Yeah, there's a beautiful white and brown spotted goat. Its horns have been
capped. They're smaller. It has like a luxurious
mane of hair that seems to blow
with the wind. When the wind goes, half
of it shifts to the side where the wind's blowing it. When it's still,
it billows out to the bottom, like a
bell-bottom goat, if you will. ASHLEY: (laughs) Oh my god.
AABRIA: My god! MATT: (tiniest bleat) (laughter) SAM: Fabio.
AABRIA: Yes! MATT: Fabio it is.
AABRIA: Yes! MATT: (laughs) AABRIA: That is the greatest
thing you've ever done. (laughter) AABRIA: You'll never be more
glorious than in that moment. TRAVIS: The V-structure.
MATT: (laughs) I don't know what
I'm doing up here. (laughs)
AABRIA: Perfection. Art is what you're doing. ASHLEY: What are
you naming it? SAM: Fabio.
ASHLEY: Oh, Fabio. LAURA: I want a dove-gray one with really, really
soft dove-gray fur. MATT: Indeed, indeed.
One approaches. This one is a little older, it looks like it's
more experienced. It's a little like it's
seen the Alps for a bit and probably would be
likely to lead the pack because of its experience
traveling through this journey. But still strong and sturdy
and willing to go through. You can see it
has that soft, deep-gray feathery
fur to it. It's lost one horn on
one side partially, so it's broken,
but it's been capped and has a ring that
hangs from it. It has a small chime
that's affixed to it, so when the wind blows
it like (bell tings). It seems to twitch a little
bit when it hears it. ASHLEY: Like, "Where's that coming from?"
LAURA: Aww! I'm going to hold
on to its horn. His name is Belle. ASHLEY: Aww! MATT: (bleats) Kind of nuzzles you
for a minute. CHRISTIAN: I'll find the
scrawniest, roughest-looking goat. MATT: All right. CHRISTIAN: Looks like it's seen
its fair share of winters. MATT: You find one
that looks like it's seen its fair
share of winters, and some of them
maybe a bit sallow. This is the "Mystery Inc"
Shaggy of all the goats, This is the "Mystery Inc"
Shaggy of all the goats, where its hooves are thick,
its shoulders are thick, its legs are scrawny,
and as it walks, there's a little bit
of shake to it. It has a long snout
and its eyes are a little bit further
apart than the other goats and looks a little odd
and goes-- (squeaky bleat) CHRISTIAN: I'm going to
call you Patchwork. SAM: Patchwork.
TRAVIS: Patchwork. MATT: Fair enough, they get it
saddled up and ready to go. ASHLEY: All right, I
would like the-- I want a round boy. I want one that's
basically a circle and then you see two
little feets pop out. MATT: (laughs)
ASHLEY: Just a circle. MATT: Now all these
goats are-- Many of them trek up and
down these mountains and they're very athletic
and are kept in such order. There's one that doesn't
go out very often and for a reason doesn't
really have much of anyone to pick it up or hire
it, so it stays back and continues to enjoy
its sedentary life here in the livery. You see it has
big curled horns. One of its teeth has grown through its lip a little bit. It has this one tooth
sticking out in the side. Just a big round,
soft boy with a red panda color
fur to it. ASHLEY: Big floofs. TRAVIS: Let's go.
MATT: Big mane around its neck that you wouldn't
think it's the mane, it looks like it's just the
continuation of its round body, but it makes it look
more spherical. ASHLEY: We're going to
name him Donnie Boy. MATT: Donnie Boy.
AABRIA: Donnie Boy! MATT: And like--
CHRISTIAN: ♪ Oh, Donnie Boy ♪ MATT: Kind of waddles up to
you, he's on his side and goes, ASHLEY: Hello, you biggest--
MATT: (deep bleats) ASHLEY: Oh!
AABRIA: Ooh! ASHLEY: We're going to
get a little workout in. You're perfect the way that you
are, but you're going to get a little bit of an adventure.
TRAVIS: Oh, he's just ripping ass? MATT: Yep.
TRAVIS: Yes! (laughter) TRAVIS: Haul her in the back.
ASHLEY: Woof! Stinky! All right.
Goochie goochies. MATT: This other one
also has to be fitted with a unique saddle. They all realize, "We never done put a
saddle on that one. "We should make some
quick adjustments." They cut out some other, they have to cobble two
other saddles together to make one that fits
around Donnie Boy. But sure enough, you all gather
your things, your supplies, load up your unique
spectrum of Flotket goats. Then here in a blue, barely cloud dappled clear
sky this cold morning, the wind picks up a bit as
you all cluster together and begin to head outward
towards the Savalirwood. and begin to head outward
towards the Savalirwood. TRAVIS and AABRIA: Donnie Boy! MATT: Destination, the
ruins of Molaesmyr. TRAVIS: Oof.
AABRIA: Yeah. MATT: And we'll pick
up there next time. (cheering)
(clapping) TRAVIS: So good!
AABRIA: Amazing! TRAVIS: And a costume change! MATT: This is so fun.
ASHLEY: Dang! MATT: All righty. Well, we'll see how the
journey goes next time. SAM: Yeah! MATT: In the interim, thank you so much for
joining us, everybody. We love you very much,
and is it Thursday yet? Good night.
(cheering)
