Honest Trailers | Pocahontas

[Music] from the studio that dominated the early 90s with the little mermaid Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin comes an absolute stinker they kicked off more than a decade of garbage Pocahontas meet Pocahontas a product of Disney's underage third strap era she's a princess based on a real 12 year old sex trafficking victim transformed into a dry land version of Ariel they expect those rules to be obeyed you disobeyed me daddy I love him I love him father in this all Leg Adventure that's just a little mermaid without the catchy songs sense of fun or knowledge that they're all about to die from war famine and disease but uh look over there pretty waterfalls when you need an Australian to play an Englishman who sounds like an American to patronize an Indian you call Mel Gibson we've improved the lives of savages all over the world Savages he'll play John Smith a guy as Bland as the name John Smith would imply I'm John Smith watch this Explorer discover he has so much in common with Pocahontas they're both hot their eyebrows don't match their hair color and that's it as these two characters as thin and two-dimensional as the cells they were painted on find love during the time of colonization a big goof up with plenty of good people on both sides once two sides want to fight nothing can stop them in fact the English would be friendly if it wasn't for One Bad Apple in this historical epic that teaches us all the real colonizer was love all along London is that your village yes buildings as tall as trees I'd like to see those things see there she didn't have to be kidnapped back to London who said anything about her being kidnapped if I don't look it up it's like it never happened when you're not stuck wasting time with Pocahontas enjoy your time with equally boring Side characters like three animal Sidekicks more bumming than Bob chayback [Music] a talking tree that's a little too thorned up for Comfort I want to see him again I want to see him again and he's handsome too and a bunch of English explorers who unfortunately weren't lost at sea in the opening scene not a thousand bloodthirsty Savages shall stand in our way if any Indian tries to stop me they'll blast him Savages could be hiding anywhere do you think we need some Savages these white men are dangerous so this Thanksgiving revisit an animated musical whose songs range from forgettable too regrettable kill ourselves or maybe two or three except for one absolute Jam about how indigenous folks are mythical beings with magical powers instead of actual people who still exist think my tribe are Ordinary People and claim a land you think you can explain but we are all imbued with superpowers we know magic we are Druids I'm amazed I'm basically an X-Man or Avenger Heron in the order I command and if you cross me John you will discover I can walk into this bird that's on my hand and they'll never hear your voice [Music] I could blow you from this Lion King as Mountain I control the ancient forces of the wind if you cross me then I will grind your bones to dust until your just pieces I can scatter in [Music] with [Music] story The Maze Runner Porta John 90-day financier trash Bandicoot Colonial American Psycho Mr Smee Chief of Staff it's Giving Tree Wizards of the Coast and exactly what TLC warned us not to do love at first White [Music] going back is his only chance he'll die if he stays here so it ends with Jon heading back to England to treat his gunshot wound by boat is anyone gonna tell him by a Vengeance I am the Knight I am Batman thanks for the handkerchief Arthur I have one power I never give up I know I made a promise but I didn't see this coming I didn't count on being happy

Channel: Screen Junkies

Views: 804,119

Keywords: screenjunkies, screen junkies, honest trailers, honest trailer, pocahontas, pocahontas trailer, disney, honest trailers pocahontas, honest trailer pocahontas

Id: wyspEl3a4YA

Length: 5min 42sec (342 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 22 2022