Homelander. Kills. Everyone. Therapist Analysis — The Boys Season 4 Episode 4

So today we're going to go through a little bit of homelander and what brought us to that scene yes that scene when we see him at the end in the elevator I think that for homelander there's a lot that went into his psychology that need to cut out all of the pieces of him that he sees as weak the pieces that he sees as his humanity and this buildup of his anger with these pieces within himself that ends up driving him to the point of wanting to cut them out of him to push away those feelings of guilt regret and being human so let's take a look at some of the scenes that I think epitomizes some of the pieces of his Humanity that he wishes to cut out from him maybe if IID raised you I could have made you better and not some weak sniveling starved for attention weak um you I know you're disappointment leave him alone I think that there's a lot of people in homelanders life that have mirrored back or shown him that they're disappointed in him feeling and I think that that is that driving force that he of why he doesn't think that that makes him good enough this this questioning that he has over having emotions and having feelings and I think that for a lot of people they try to cut out the parts of them that they don't like because these feelings are uncomfortable in the end though it's our feelings that allow us to know what makes us happy or not they're the guiding force that help us make choices that will actually make us happy the problem is is that you cut those pieces out of you what ends up happening is you just don't know who you are without them because you're so so busy trying to live this life to make everyone else happy this version of what everyone else wants from you instead of what you want for yourself and it's often these people that we look up to that it sticks the most that it kind of resonates and it keeps on playing back especially if the thing that they say has a part of knowledge of what you already worry about yourself as well and those are the things that really stand out and ring like this is the proof that really am not as good as what I wished that I was or strong as what I hoped to be and that's why it can be so very damaging especially if you don't have a very strong sense of [Music] self when homelander sees this white hair it's this thought of his own mortality and when you think about you being a God and then having this come to you that even though your powers are Godlike you still age and if you age that means that you'll die that that piece of your Humanity you would also hate this part of him that is not Godlike which is another thing that I think makes him want to push these parts of him away [Music] now I'm not so sure about keeping it in a creepy jar don't do that it is something common for us when we look at and notice our own mortality or a death comes to us that we can go through this feeling of existential dread this fear of ceasing of our own existence and for other people it might be something different it might be a gray hair but it might be a wrinkle or it might be feeling sick or it might be seeing someone else that is our age having something horrible happen to them and then we think about the fact that it could happen to us as well that can give us an anxiety Spin and then if you think about being Godlike having all of these Powers all of this control and to have all of that come crashing down as that is more fantasy than reality because he's aging just like everyone else he has all these Powers but he has a question that he doesn't have a solution for and for a lot of people they could say that that would be considered a midlife crisis greatest fail you are simply bad prod your destiny momy and a daddy in our boo it's because deep down there's a part of you that is still human him failing people him hurting people him feeling guilt about it and that's his Humanity coming back to him and I think that he believes that if he can get rid of it that he can cut out that piece of humanity he won't have to feel guilt regret or being upset that he's disappointed people for a lot of people that's actually the worst and he has this want to make people proud to caretake their feelings and that disappointment that's usually like that's for many people the worst thing to hear from someone is that I'm disappointed in you and he feels that he's disappointed many people and the people that he disappoints he often then has to get rid of thinking that if he gets rid of them as a person it'll get rid of that feeling from within himself but unfortunately that's not true because in the end the disappointment that he feels is from within not from the outside I totally agree he's a mench did I use that word right mench he just said he was crazy what I meant was we would be crazy to you know not bring him in surrounded by sick ofan it's just that you make a lot of really great points sir when you know that people are just saying yes to you not because they really feel this way but they're going to do anything because they're scared or because you're powerful or because you're famous and they look up to you it does become meaningless and because it's meaningless it doesn't bring you meaning because all of it is a lie he needs to find meaning from other things things that are more real that hold actual substance and the problem is is that he's created this world of people being around him because they're scared that will say whatever he wants then he's not getting an honest reflection of their feelings and when people are scared they're going to say whatever they have to in order to survive and so now he truly is alone homelander because he spent so much time alone that's another one of his main fears this is exactly what I'm talking about not one of you has the stomach to challenge anything I say oh my God I have got to carry this entire company on my shoulders you're right and that was one of his fears of being alone being left alone but also that if the company fails now it's all on his shoulders he has no one else to blame the company is yours you'll come to sorely regret that the world will recognize you for the pitiful disappointment you are you are not worthy of my respect you are not a God you are simply bad product because that would be another sign that he is not perfect and a lot of people that fear failure will actually avoid or give something up or have something that they can use as a scapegoat so that the failure doesn't fall all on them based on your public appearances your stylist is dying your hair more often used to be every month now it's every 2.4 weeks did she tell you you're going gray or is she hiding so between that and your enlarged prostate my what look at your hands you've been washing them more often so likely you've been peeing more often which makes sense you got a lot of power but you do age it's a hard thing when other people point out and can realize that you're getting older it's not just that Society judges that but I think that it's also especially for homelander he's so used to everyone looking at him as perfect he's trying so hard to be perfect that all of these he seizes other flaws these are all of his human parts that he doesn't want to have and when you're surrounded by all of these yes people all of these psychop fants you start to believe that that that's true for you that you are a God and then to have all of the these pieces of reality because that's just a facade no one is perfect no one that it kind of crashes down because you didn't even realize it you believed the lie and our brains can be really Adept at lying to us plus there's that small matter your own father almost killed you wow any mouth breather could see you're going through some existential midlife whatever I like that she knew that she started to tread on thin ice that this was a dangerous area and so she didn't say the word crisis which might be a word that might make him feel even more fragile and when you're dealing with someone that has narcissistic traits you can go through my video on homelander and you're dealing with someone you have to be careful with what you say I think that you should always be careful though with the words that you use with other people there's no real reason to try to make someone feel more fragile or small I need advice from someone On My Level God I've spent my life scaling the peak of of what it's all I ever wanted and and then now that I have it you're still not happy and that's the thing when we talk about the things that actually make us happy often people think that it is power Prestige Fame being looked up to but in the end that's ephemeral it is isn't real it doesn't actually feed who we are as a person and especially when you're going through what do I want the rest of my life to be like and we're looking at our own mortality we're often trying to see how can I be truly substantially happy and those are usually internal processes of actually making a difference making a change and it's difficult if you've been living your life for what everyone else wants from you or what you think you want for yourself but it's just been what you've told that you should do often you've lost the pieces of yourself that can give you that information the thing that he's trying to cut out of himself his Humanity are the things that would show him what he would actually need to do to be truly happy and that becomes really difficult you become like a ship without a sale and I think that also the things that would make him happy are in the areas of himself that he doesn't feel comfortable the parts that he's trying to cut out of himself and so it's almost like the closer that he gets to that the more he wants to run away and have to do even more horrific things to prove that he isn't the person that he would then have to be and it sounds kind of circular we often have to go to those dark places or the places that are sensitive the places that feel in order to actually understand the things we really need and those are exactly the places that he doesn't want to go because they make him feel vulnerable and weak at the same time save people they cheer kill people people they cheer it's it's meaningless humans are nothing they're they're less than nothing they're just toys for my amusement and yet they control everything I think that a lot of people want to find meaning in something and they're always searching for something to fill into that void that is themselves to bring meaning to their existence and that's a huge question that we deal with in therapy the thing is is that you're never really going to find it from an outside Source you really have to be in touch with yourself and the things that matter to you and why we think that it is in The Superficial things of if I climb this many mountains that'll me mean that I'm meaningful and that I have value or if that I make this much money or if I'm this important but it only feeds you for a moment and then it goes away the things that bring meaning are the things that are sustainable internal mechanisms inside of yourself and only you can answer that question of what really truly brings meaning to you but to do that you have to look inside of you and allow yourself to feel and I think that that is the Dilemma that battle that homelander has within himself what kind of Legacy am am I going to leave to my son a country and a world or something better something pure CL cleansed like marble you do realize that probably won't make you happy either still tell me how you go about it and sister Sage is Right him wanting this sanitized world would be fake as well she understands that he's not ready to be able to actually hear what the truth of what will make him happy I think that a lot of that is what he runs from I think that for a lot of us that's what we run from because the things that would truly make us happy involve risk involve getting to know ourselves in a very intimate way looking at all of those dark places where we sometimes exist and being able to expect more from ourselves and I think that that's really hard not just for people that have superpowers like homelander but I think that just for General people it can be really uncomfortable to look at yourself in an honest way the good and the bad you what you love him so much why did you get him to be your dad no I don't want him to be my dad you're enough enough any of that scene shows how hard how much homelander is trying to be a better father to to Ry and I go through an entire episode homelander parenting skills you can take a look at it and I think that for him it matters a lot because he didn't have a father to raise him and so it means a lot to him to be able to have his own son and a lot of people have a child and hope that that will fill the void of being needed and wanted by someone in a way that is much more deep but that void can't be filled by having a child it's a void that you have to fill on your own John come here you really made a mess this time tiger and yes this reminds me of the other scene that he had with the mirror before but I'm not going to go into that one CU I've already dealt with that one so you can take a look at that video on your own afterwards but yes it's reflected in this scene haha come on champ pull yourself together deep breath for God's sakes look at you few starlighter hate you Ryan spend some time with Butcher and a boohoo you're a mess you have to be stronger John and this is actually quite accurate to what happens within ourselves that inner monologue that we often have and all the different pieces that battle it out and which is the piece that wins well the one that's more practiced the one that you pay attention to and we often have this voice of reason and this voice of kindness and this voice that's malicious this voice that just wants to get rid of things that cause us angst but our inner monologue the way that we speak about ourselves and our actions really does change who we are and if it is malevolent or abusive it can be exceptionally damaging it's one of those things that I think that we should be taught in schools how to deal with in a way that is healthy instead of maladaptive for still need love so much love you still crave it that's not true you're going to make him weak and needy like you you can still fix things he's your son this also goes to that scene with soldier boy saying that you're weak and a disappointment to me and because of that because that was such a significant event for him I think that he does not want to do that to his child because he sees that he's been taught that that's what he shouldn't do and that's the problem is that we're not taught how to parent and if we're not taught how to parent then we're just going to parent by what we think is right or how our parents parented us even if we know it's wrong sometimes that can happen because in times of trauma and stress that's when our brain is actually recording how to behave in those situations because he's heard that and it's set he believes that that must be true and so he has to do something about it before it damages not only himself but Ryan everyone hates you it's time to overcome this need for love this sickness once and for all and that other part of him the one that was quiet the other time like it really looks to me like that's his inner child the wound the young hym the one that doesn't really speak up for himself those parts of him that have been hurt and are not really listened to and heard you're never going to be your true self until you transcend your Humanity what do I do you need to go back to the start when you deal with that inner monologue you want to be able to hear what that part of you says and it's interesting to me maybe I'm reading too much into it but it's interesting to me that when that part was about to speak everyone hates you that parental part the part that's going to problem solve and just fix things hushes and stops him from speaking and that often happens that we shut out that part of us and so it never really gets hurt it always ends up feeling abandoned and that's what you want to undo and I'll just give a little caveat that if you've gone through your own trauma hearing it from someone else can sometimes be really difficult or it can kind of open up those wounds so you might want to tread lightly we're going to be just discussing it hearing it spoken about but sometimes that can bring up your own hurts and pains from your childhood or your experiences as well so you might want to skip over some of these Parts just in case you made the shot you did a little fist pump to celebrate and then you turned up the temperature see if you could burn my skin even though my skin didn't Char still really hurt a lot yeah I was in there screaming in agony I was just doing my job I think that especially when you're sharing your trauma that you've been hurt by someone else the response of I didn't know any better or or I was just doing my job it doesn't really answer to the feelings of what homelander hopes for that someone that's sharing this hopes for they are hoping that someone else can empathize with or understand their pain and what it caused them to be able to be a part of their part of the journey often when we're confronted with something that we've done wrong our first thing is a defense which is common for us to do but it's something that we're doing for ourselves instead of for someone else to be able to listen to and I won't even say carry because that is not something that everyone might have the capacity to be able to do but to be able to at least reflect and understanding and validate someone else's experience is a huge gift again a skill we're often not taught that's often why we share our pain with someone else in hope that we can get a better understanding of where we are and why you know I had nightmares about that exact moment and you can't even remember it it's funny isn't it how people can have such a a different memory of the exact same thing and that's true and maybe neither of them are completely accurate yet for Frank he looked at John more as a science experiment something that he had to test something that wasn't human and I think that that makes it easier for us to dismiss someone else's pain we sometimes dehumanize things in order to get over being able to commit things that are harmful on others and I think that that's one of the reasons probably that he didn't really feel it or we often block out things that are traumatic as well hey Frank this is my last shot why do you go and watch from in there John why don't we homelander and I think that homelander doesn't just want to cut out his Humanity by doing this I think that he also wants Frank to understand the trauma and pain that he went through for Revenge it's often the poison similar to jealousy it's like the poison that we end up drinking by doing this he's trying to cut out his Humanity hoping that by him treating himself the way others do one is they might understand a little more of what they did to him and feel a little touch of his pain and that that might make him feel a justice but it doesn't actually erase what he went through and I think that it is another piece of him trying to push his Humanity Away by committing these atrocities by becoming the monster that they made him and he believes that pushing his Humanity away will help him will allow him to be this hardened person without feeling guilt or care or want or need and a lot of people do cut away their feelings just to be able to work or do the process at hand and there are times where that can actually be helpful to be able to get a job done that has to be done or to be able to survive in very difficult situations it doesn't bring you fulfillment because you don't know what fulfillment is because in order to feel that you have to allow your Humanity to exist again to be able to feel because if you don't feel how do you know what makes you truly happy and for a lot of people they don't even know what they want for simple things their favorite color or pizza or the thing that they want to do right now that's right John omander omander we were friends I was always nice to you yeah that's right you are I think that it's also really significant that homelander doesn't want to be called John one John is a sense of his Humanity that's him his human name and so he wants to be called by his superhero name but also it's that sign of authority to remember that I am better than you to be able to put himself above the parts of himself that are human I used to be left in there for hours days on end completely alone right and out of all types of torture that psychologically is not physically damaging but psychologically very damaging being alone feeling alone feeling like there's no one that you have really is harmful for us we are by large social creatures that feel good when we feel like we have someone to be around us and it can be really damaging on us psychologically and also can cause us a lot of difficulty to be with other people again because we haven't learned all of the skills that would happen naturally if we're around other people hopefully other people that are kind and thoughtful even with animals that live in groups can be so damaging to be able to reintegrate afterwards and to be able to read and understand and feel a sense of security this can commonly cause a strong sense of fear of abandonment and an attachment injury that can often go through our entire lives until we actually decide if we actually decide to be able to work on it that when you did your rounds at night I had about a couple of minutes to myself and that would be the only time a day that I would feel anything good and you caught me with my pants down you had a really really good laugh at me remember that's when you nickname me squirt and to be laughed at especially when you're a teen trying to form your own identity and who you are and to be able to be laughed at when you're expressing your own sexuality can also cause so much trauma to your own sense of self and your feelings of safety because if someone that's supposed to be taking care of you is the one laughing at you what safety do you feel and he already felt alone and this was one of the few times that he felt anything besides being alone and pain and if you yourself are going through a lot of pain or a lot of trauma you want to be able to reach out I'll leave some links in the description if you yourself are going through a lot of trauma or after watching this you found this very difficult stop it John Barbara Cake's melted I'm afraid please put him out of his misery oh no I don't think that would have died from that I don't know why she's saying just kill him he could have went to the hospital he could have been saved I would assume that it was all cauterized at the same time but anyways okay that's a different discussion for a different time you know why I used to call this the bad room it just a room John's neither good nor bad that's easy to say from the other side of the door no did you come back here just to torment those people doesn't that feel little little small the dialogue that Barbara has with homelander I think is really intriguing because it seems antagonistic that she talks down to him and I think that that might have been a technique that used to work when he was younger I find that kind of condescension actually creates anger I felt angry at her talking about his pain in such a minimalistic way whether you agree with what he's doing or not they were just following orders Dr VAB bombs Stan Edgar's and mine yeah but they followed them not one of them had the back bone to stand up and say this is wrong CU they were scared I was a child they were scared and it sounds like her words to him do carry a certain amount of authority he does listen someone that isn't a psychopat sycophant he says siant I don't know siant psychop Fant one of them when someone is speaking to him like an equal directly it does seem to sink in it seems like there's definitely a chance that he might listen or care to hear what her opinion is we have no physical power over you we never did you could have broken out of here anytime you wanted we could have stopped you but you didn't it's interesting because that is also true a lot of times even with large animals if they're taught that they can't do something eventually they start to believe that even when they can you think about elephants that at first are given chains when they're young so they believe that they can't break the chains but then later just a simple rope that they would be able to break out of unless they become really angry and then try to it will restrain them in the end our belief of what we are capable of is often what limits us not the actual limitations of the world around us I think that if we realize that we can reach our true potential I think that that's a lot of what John wants to reach his true potential but his manner to be able to do it and what he believes he needs to do to reach his true potential is skewed by all of the hurts and all of the wounds that have been imposed upon him cuz you couldn't stand the idea that we would be disappointed in you your need for approval and for love like I don't know what her motivation is by speaking this way to him I don't know if she was purposely trying to gain his ey so that she he could take it out on her and she could save everyone else that was there or that she was in enjoying the power and control in a cruel way over on him and enjoyed rubbing that in but it definitely didn't seem like this was a way that he would feel any kind of validation and leave without hurting someone so I think that her technique and being able to deescalate a situation is quite poor doesn't matter what you do to Mayor the rest of the staff here your need for love is so deep it's so human you'll never be able to overcome that and for him that's like speaking King slurs to him these are the things that he's running away from so by her reflecting this back to him it just fires him further to be able to push that away and yes people actually do do that often when we feel like we're going to be accused of something anyways we might as well just be that because that's what we're going to be blamed for whether we do it or we don't and a lot of times when we're worried about our Humanity or we see that our feelings are the things that hurt us we do try to cut them out or create such horrible situations that we could never come back from so that it would just be easier we don't at least have to struggle because of that and so a lot of times we become the monster that we've created in our own mind it's a self-fulfilling prophecy and that can be really damaging and that's also why therapy and being able to really come to terms with who you are and understanding and hearing that negative selft talk which most of it is usually lie in the first place can be so healing to be able to deal with all the trauma that we've gone through I'm not human and neither is my son and I'm going to raise him so that he knows it which is another reason that I think that he is doing this because he believes that raising his son without feelings and emotions being stronger and above that would be a good way to parent [Music] and the meaning behind that smile that is debated a lot I think that for him he believes that by doing this committing this atrocity against all of these people some that had a hand in what created these wounds this hurt inside of himself and some that didn't I think that he believes that that is his final piece to be able to cut out that Humanity from who he is that now he's free of it the problem is is that it isn't one simple action that can be able to heal or even to get rid of who we actually are it will usually come back to the surface because it's much deeper than that I know that we all wish we could be as smart as sister sage and I can't exactly give you that but with today's sponsor brilliant.org you can get VA close learn enhance grow with brilliance ever growing set of new courses and Brilliant makes college level courses available to help you be as smart as a whip and you don't have to go through as many books as sister Sage did each course is designed for High Velocity yes soup fast velocity learning to help you stay focused reach your goals and become the smartest woman man person and Brilliant makes learning like a game with fun features that let you challenge yourself compete with others and it never gets dull and we know that when learning is fun and engaging knowledge sticks better so you remember more easily and quickly and Brilliant has thousands of lessons they have math chemistry physics engineering computer science and so many more with 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even 5 minutes will make a difference so try it out today you have nothing to lose and if you want more you can click on the link and you get 20% off an annual premium subscription as well so just click on the button on the screen or head head on over to brilliant.org jorgia and clicking on that button really does help out this channel so thank you so much to brilliant.org for sponsoring this video and hopefully I'll see you in the next one so this is a little bit of the psychology that made homelander Commit This atrocity and some of the things that made him so wounded and hurt you can let me know what your thoughts are on homelander and what happened to him in the comments below and hopefully I'll see you in the next video and you can check out my whole series on on the boys

Channel: Georgia Dow

Views: 117,183

Keywords: psychology, psychotherapy, therapy, self help, life coach, psychotherapist, self improvement

Id: n_BHgnwuIKM

Length: 34min 59sec (2099 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 26 2024