Hollywood Squares (Marshall): Pat vs. Jo Ann

and the contestant who picks it first could win a vacation for two in mountain land mexico which star is it jonathan winters karen valentine don rickles al lyndon john davidson shirley jones artie johnson bob newhart or pauline all in the hollywood squares and here is the master of the hollywood squares peter marshall thank you and welcome to the hollywood squares hello stars hey hey hello i hope i pronounced this right i believe this is it joanne cisneros perfect how about them apples ladies and gentlemen yes homemaker married to a u.s air force captain with a young son joanne is joining us on the hollywood squares this evening and you have a chance to win a brand new automobile and good luck great all righty all right mr x is pat packard hiya pat nice to see you uh i have your uh uh resume here an aerospace consultant who recently married a pr lady that's right i know a pr lady chita rivera she's in chicago not that way and that's sort of an inside joke anyway we have a commercial and we'll be right back after this the object for the players is to get three stars to roll either across it without a diagonally it is up to them to figure out of the stars give you a correct answer making one up that's it they get the squares game is worth 250 dollars we play a two out of three match our players play for nine thousand dollars and the first thing no we 250 each completed game already and we played three secret square games kenny and circle starts the first secret square for a mexican vacation we'll jet you from los angeles for a week for two at the guests of the luxurious hotel hacienda matsuram mountain land mexico 104 room with balconies facing the ocean pool beach air conditioning fine cuisine entertainment two furnished by the hotel hacienda mozzarella plus peppermint pens the only pens for the ink pump to let you right at any angle great for christmas papermate and varela sportswear presents the gentleman's leisure suit hand tailored from the finest fabric style for a custom fit 32 colors to choose from furnished by varela sportswear also yardley of london's original an assortment of featuring cologne and aftershave for you and your friends for christmas the british fragrance for men furnished by yardley of london plus for a great newton taste sensation try a tootsie roll mini you'll love them they're chocolatey tootsie rolls with a hit of cool mint plus zodiac's sst estographic self-winding watches futuristic styling hours and minutes marked by two floating satellites orbiting dot council center water and shock resistant automatic calendar furnished by zodiac watches i'm finished peter that's easy for you to say all right let's show the whole money it's the secret squares i know the stars are brief before the show to help them with the bluffs but they are hearing the actual questions for the first time joanne won the toss backstage pick a star dear i'll go for paul in i don't blame you paul according to the world book what's the most important single thing you should do to take care of your skin [Music] don't tell jack palance that you hate his dog commercials [Laughter] [Applause] the most important thing to do to take care of your skin the most important thing keep it clean keep it clean that's in a risk i'm going to disagree yeah you keep it clean already put it next there break for you pat john davis that's [Music] this is worth three thousand dollars special envelope what actress won an academy award for her first major screen role in the song of bernadette was it jennifer jones audrey hepburn or claire bloom song of bernadette song of bernadette yeah oh uh who's the three jennifer jones audrey head burner claire bloom boy uh uh song of bernadette yes uh claire bloom claire bloom i disagree who was it jennifer jones jennifer jones and bill lythe was the guy 20th century fox i love the pick he's very young john [Applause] uh you're going on davis mexican vacation the men's sports wearing a thousand dollars worth of watches over three thousand dollars a very good start for you so joanne pick a star jonathan winters true or false the united states astronauts are advised to stay off beans excuse me he's going to pick it over that was an opener opener to a very long question um the the astronauts now are we talking about them ones that went there last uh what ones well their last are we talking about any astronauts just any astronauts yeah they're advised to stay off beans before flight true or false neil told me to lay off of them that's neil armstrong he said yes i agree as a result of studies by the western regional research laboratory the usda right with a circle pat your turn karen valentine you look lovely this evening i love your outfit dear thank you according to recent research do most american women admit to being turned on turned on occasionally by pictures of nude men oh yeah they they admit it is it yeah i agree 67 percent at least sometimes yeah thank you for the next joy shirley incidentally shirley is marvelous and now ross hunter is a dear friend of ours his new motion jenny dolan the lives of jenny dope yes in italy someone describes your figure as bello bello are you happy i'm very happy i agree it means beautiful and you have a beautiful figure hey all right pat hardy artie when a german says ich i-c-h what does he mean it means that somebody put garbage on his plate [Music] and he he looks down at it and he goes this yeah but actually what it really means is that don rickles is a hockey puck or the second or alternate choice is i i i disagree i means i as in i am wearing a coat yes okay uh put a circle there a break for you joanne great bob newhart already for 250 according to the bible when moses struck a rock with his rod something came out what a loud scream [Applause] when moses struck a rock with his rod something came out according to the bible what i think wine wine i disagree wawa little water yes 250 joanne it's his name [Applause] hey that's nice we had two winners pat won the secret square joanne the game and we're gonna have another sequel square game right now kenny and next star is the second secret square for burris's lancer group features transitional styling sofa loveseat chair and recliner covered in soft durable vinyl with brass nail accent looks and comforts for the whole family to enjoy furnished by burris plus it's the kimball artist spin it a quality musical instrument fashioned from solid walnut hand rubbed to a rich luster unique tonal quality furnished by kimball valued at over a thousand dollars and sweeten up with reed's individually wrapped great tasting candies in a row nine delicious flavors including root beer assorted fruit and peppermint sweetened up with reeds also quasar color tv for the comfort of your eyes it automatically adjusts the picture to changing room light furnished by quasar plus nice and sleepy hollow carpeting lustrous nylon for traditional country or contemporary decor carpeting furnished by mazlin now back to squares and joe andrew's brother all right let's show the whole money to the secret square and pat your turn all righty done true or false back in the middle ages middle ages bowling was part of a religious ritual you asked me that mm-hmm if you're polish uh i don't know too much about bowling i would say back in the middle ages if bowling was a religious uh ritual ritual of it i think they'll all wind up in a hot tub with a duck i would say no he said that's fine no it's true that's how the modern game began as a matter of fact by the way all you bobby vinton fans that's don rickles and care of the hollywood square nbc oh don't get over it folks that's what i do write your lesson cards to peter dumb artie johnson artie johnson up there in the right-hand corner true or false under certain circumstances and tibet teachers are allowed to take students home to spank them [Applause] [Music] is that true or false [Music] true he said it's true it's crazy enough i'll agree [Applause] what an x there all right fat you're bob newhart all right bob true or false jokes seem fun here oh boy jokes seem funnier when you've had a few drinks let's hope so yeah he said yeah let's hope so i agree huh you'll agree i agree research shows this is a fact yes we're the next okay joanne john from winners to blog [Music] jonathan uh can can some pigeons pigeons can some pigeons count count oh there are a lot of statues all over the world that have been looking up soon yeah one um let's see uh can pigeons count well i tell you that's interesting because and there was one question here at one time about pigeons uh during the first war they're using them as messenger visions and so i think they can probably say at least count to one you're a chipmunk i'm sorry a chipmunk i'm a chipmunk i look like one but you're a chip okay can you probably stuff more than 10 hazelnuts in your cheeks at the same time oh yeah and then some i agree yeah up to 20 in fact very good for the next joanne john davidson john how many toes is so great does a two-toed sloth [Laughter] now this might sound simple this is not life magazine put out a series of books called the sea fishes mountains you might have gotten them right that's all life magazine can do now is put out these books about the sea and the fishes they also put out a thing on the to the sloth yeah two-toed sloth how many toes does he have two-toed sloth is named that because there is one toe on each foot which comes to two there is only one toe on the two-toed sloth per foot yes so how many feet does the two-toe sloth have two-toed sloth has uh i i didn't read all the books tutor sloth has uh has has two feet okay so that's two toes one per foot okay he says two joanne disagree uh he has eight two on each foot yeah eight okay you put a circle there and pat it your turn alan hal true or false in washington dc you could be arrested for shouting explicit expletive deleted you can be arrested in washington for saying expletive deleted at a policeman [Laughter] you always ask me these cop questions um i'm not a cop you know i'm an actor i know that all right but you play a policeman you don't ask new heart psychological we're getting to that expletive deleted expletive at a policeman in washington you can be arrested for that i would say if you did it with the meaning expletive deleted you could get arrested he said yeah i agree no you can't uh we have a commercial you'll have to earn that circle yourself we'll be right back uh we know that how london is not the secret square it's either pauline or shirley jones and it's worth three thousand dollars i'm gonna go for the win with helen you could have gone with paul and is what i mean see he might have been the secret square we'll never know until after this question a group of psychiatrists are complaining that something never happens to the patients on the bob newhart show what remember now i told you before we were going to get to that kind of question yes something uh something never happens psychiatrists are really complaining psychologists also that the patients on the new heart show something never happens to them they never forget their lines they never i don't think they ever get cured either do they uh they never make another appointment they never make another appointment i disagree you had it before they never get better yes circle against the square [Applause] incidentally as shirley jones was the secret square and now we're gonna have another secret square game so let's clear the board kenny and this time circle starts a secret square for bassett furniture features the warmth of a classic bedroom grouping with mattress and box spring furnished by bassett and good animals long-wearing inexpensive kids clothes for toddlers of teens just magical animal tags and get perfectly coordinated tops and bottoms and emergency help information directions only a call away with a citizen's band two-way radio system furnished by midland international also quizel lighting's house full of light 1 000 of lamps for every room designed the tradition of american craftsman glass and blown and hand decorated all furnished by quizle lighting plus the new 22 volume world book encyclopedia including research guided index volume world book is easy to use easy to read in child craft the 15 volume how and why library and that's it peter that's all i got thank you kenny let's show the whole way at the secret square enjoy and you'll start this game dear [Applause] all right we'll go with artie johnson alrighty artie true or false a group of dentists in argentina are supplying cows with dentures this goes back to the days when we first got there so later no one understands here i uh in in argentina and they sing to the cows that famous song from tibet [Applause] actually uh that's true they found that the animals could probably have a little bit more opportunity to develop over the years i'll agree with that and they're chewing their cud with little dentures yeah okay with the circle back hell ended captain john sutter sutter discovered something about california that caused thousands of people to move out here what disneyland no it's no no john sarah discovered gold in 1849. i agree right he caused the rush okay with the next join all right we'll go with jonathan winners jonathan uh according to the world book on which anniversary is an electrical appliance a proper gift the 8th the 18th or the 80th an anniversary gift yeah and we have 8th 18th or 80th electrical appliance electrical what a wonderful gift for an anniversary might at one time been a big gift you know on visitors day at osning um listening to throw that out i didn't know that they had anniversary gifts electrical yes they do is it the 8th 18th or 80th must be the 80th the final light just switch i disagree no it's the eight yeah the turn on the light okay with a circle pat your true or face according to dr joyce brothers buying a new dining room set can be so traumatic that it can possibly break up your marriage what is all the moaning going on i don't moan during that question i would say uh would say break up a marriage true or false uh he's moaning because he doesn't know what dramatic is uh i would say yes that's true i agree buying and arranging home furnishings can cause major quarrels that can lead to them oh yes we're the next okay [Applause] speaking of matrimony eddie fisher my recently said marriage kills love marriage kills love and love kills what 20 minutes [Applause] eddie pitcher recently said marriage kills love and love kills kills marriage kills love and love kills marriage marriage ships in again now i tell you what that is that is our buzzer ladies and gentlemen and it's either worth 50 for joanne or nothing for pat so marriage kills love and loves kills marriage joanna i'll agree no friendship friendship okay we're gonna add up the scores we have two x's up there for you pat and that means fifty dollars a cubicle one hundred dollars in cash and you want a secret square worth over three thousand dollars so it's been about a thirty one thirty two hundred dollar night with our uh party gifts hope you had some fun yes sir all right thank you [Applause] how are you oh you didn't win a secret square but you've got six hundred dollars in cash and you're going to drive away from the studio tonight congratulations it's pontiac smart new sub compact house for distinctive styling a responsive four-cylinder engine and high overall economy overhead cam three-speed floor shift furnished by pontiac hey time is up for this evening we're going to see everybody on the panel we're going to start with don uh our director jerry shaw let's go around the round the horn let's say good night to your lovely mother down in miami beach okay good night good night eddie good night mom i love you al good night edit good night john a good night edna hi shirley good night erica arty ed i love you hi bob good night erica jonathan good night adam karen good night anna paul good night dana hey good night and have a good evening see you next time on the hollywood squad a jackson pollock painting once sold for 10.5 million dollars a picasso self-portrait was bought for over 43 million dollars a japanese businessman paid 82.5 million dollars for a van gogh tim drew this and won five grand it pays to be an artist win lose or draw weekdays at 11 30 a.m eastern only on game show network [Music] [Applause] this has been a merrell leader bob quigley production [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you

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Length: 21min 24sec (1284 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 28 2021