Hold Up Wait A Minute! | Pastor Stephanie Ike and Dozie Ezemma

a message you know that jesus is the message of every church we say people at our hearts we say that love is our brand we want to be marked by love when people describe us we want to be described by how we love people not just how we love god but how we love our neighbors and we are so glad tomorrow we get to celebrate love month with every single one of you so happy love month to you we are excited this is uh this is a very popular month in our church because of course we have lots of exciting things that we talk about we have discussions um around you know relationships love sex you know god culture things like that and of course this is when we have our q and a sundays which happens on the back end of the month so this month week three and week four we're going to have q and a sundays bring all your questions um you know follow you know watch out for our social media page and all that you'll see everything that you need to find out you know how you can ask your questions and how to participate as well so i'm really pumped about that really excited um if you're a guest in our house i'd like to say welcome my name is deji i'm privileged to serve as one of the leaders at lighthouse church and you are among some of the very very best people in ottawa we say but right now obviously we are virtual and so we are global but welcome to our house can you just help us welcome all our guests we are so pleased that you decided to join us this morning we have just one promise for you like we always do when we come together that your life will never remain the same that god will speak to you god would encourage you god will meet you right where you are and speak a word into your heart and into your situation in the name of jesus if you're new like i said please follow us on instagram download the lighthouse app to stay updated with what's going on in our house you know it's also an opportunity for you to watch and listen to all the past sermons that we've had and things like that to just go ahead and get connected as well of course if you have any questions don't forget don't hesitate to reach out to us by email contact lighthouseottawa.com we would be very excited to connect with you what we say church is that we are a family we don't do life alone we are about the one each and every one we are a family we do not allow you to do life alone we are about the one each and every single one all right for all our team members just so you know this saturday coming up the 13th of february is team night it's not valentine's day so we're not going to ruin your valentine's day plans this saturday is team night we say team nights are the best nights and sundays are the best days right so 7 p.m um the zoom details should be on social media and you'll probably get a text as well if you're on team and if you're not on team and you want to join the team trust me there's still so much work to be done there's still so much heavy lifting that's done every single week if you want to participate you want to contribute one way or the other please also you know check out or pay attention to our social media handles and then of course join the meeting on saturday you are very very welcome to do that one more thing before i go into introducing our guest today today is an amazing sunday we have not just one but two special guests so it's it's going to be amazing all right um for those of you who are members of our church as you know we we typically would pray an hour before service so sunday morning prayer hour comes back starting next week from 10 a.m zoom details also made available to you we jump on zoom and we pray for an hour prayer is a way of life all right it's not it's not something we do when the enemy comes attacking prayer is like eaten all right it's our way of life so just stay tuned as well and we're going to get plugged in starting again next week into prayers next week i do teach on sex is good porn is bad i mean it's going to be pretty raw i'm going to be walking all the way up the aisles into your homes next week so just expect me to be in your house next week okay be all up in your business but please before you take that topic and say pastor said sex is good so please do not do not act on that until you listen to the entire ceremony all right sex is a good point is bad it's gonna be amazing um discussion that we have next week today we have with us not just one like i said but two special guests and you know we are so fortunate we are so privileged that we're able to get to this week all right it's a double dose i think it's prophetic all right we're going into a season of double all right god is going to double favor in our lives in jesus name we have pastor stephanie ek with us and we have dozier izuma as well all right and so we're going to listen to pastor stephanie in a second but i'm just going to introduce her but first i want to say thank you to both of them for their incredible kindness thank you for you know um extending grace to our house thank you for honoring our invitation thank you for the spirit that you carry we obviously are very proud of the work that you do and we are fortunate we are blessed to have both of you with us today if you have not invited a friend culture of invite guys just go ahead right now there's no better sunday send a link to someone put on your whatsapp groups instead of you know affording jargons go ahead and send this out to as many people as possible so that we can get started i'll introduce pastor stephanie who's going to come up first and after that we'll have um dozier come up later how many of you excited i'm i'm so excited about this so excited so stephanie ek is a remarkable communicator with a message of faith hope and love a message she delivers as an author pastor and talk show host she's passionate about leading people into an understanding of god's unconditional love and the identity they have in him stephanie's first book moving forward biblical teachings for working in purpose was released in 2015 and in moving forward stephanie answers timeless questions on breaking free from stagnancy using biblical truths her sophomore book is scheduled for release in the summer of 2021 that's this year under the leadership of pastor sturay and sarah jakes roberts she is the executive pastor of the potter's house at l.a her desire to spread the gospel was ignited at an early age of nine when a divine encounter changed her perspective of god stephanie is the host and producer on the same room a digital talk show and podcast that offers an authentic and insightful take on unconventional fate topics with a unique blend of guests i actually have watched quite a number of those and it's really helpful very it blesses me all the time so through the show stephanie's paving new grounds for how faith is engaged into this culture very relevant content amazing stuff i was talking to her during the week and i said to her that i want to be like her when i grow up all right she has my dream job to be an executive pastor um god hasn't allowed me yet to to to do that so i'll i'll stick to my lane for now but lighthouse church you know as is our culture we give honor we honor up on a down on a sideways can you please join me and welcome pastor stephanie ek can i see you guys show some excitement show her some love this morning hi stephanie over to you hi how's everyone doing how are you doing gaijin so good to see you again and i'm just want to make sure that you can hear me quite fine yep okay awesome awesome hey lighthouse family um i heard that you guys operate as a family and i love that i love people i love that and so i'm really excited about today's message on hold up wait a minute you know i encountered god first i'm gonna just kick off of my story because i believe that anyone who is pursuing the journey of celibacy that already or you're just or you're curious about it that there is there might be a seed of conviction about this is the way that god wants me to take and so i'm excited about the q a that we're going to have and i'm just going to kick off with really my celibacy journey and so i encountered god at nine years old just like past the day he mentioned and during that time in my life there were things that the lord just started speaking to me about my future about my destiny and all that stuff and one of the first things that he talked to me about was to wait till marriage to not have to have sex right and in my mind i'm like first of all who's thinking about sex at night and as i got older i started realizing wait okay this commandment wasn't for my my present at the time it was to hold me to the point of marriage and so getting older i remember many times that i was like okay what is this about because i want to have sex and i remember because you know the lord is really my best friend and even as a kid well another kid in my teenage years and i started contemplating like everyone is doing it you know i want to i want to experience it and i was talking to a friend of mine i was because i was trying to figure out the ways i could like almost like try to put god in the corner type of thing i'm like okay so what is the best way that i could go about this and it doesn't affect anything and so people talked about protection and all of that and i literally right i remember coming to the lord and i'm like hey you know i heard about condoms and you know this would protect me i'm like if you're worried about me you know maybe having children or something this is being protection and i can never forget the holy spirit said you will be the 0.1 if you think you're gonna find a corner or like a back door about this and so that took me on a journey that this is there's something deeper about this i knew i understood that for one that the lord was calling me to a celibacy journey because that was an area that i would help minister to people about about the standard of god but then it's about why the standard of god because sometimes we think that god just gives us these commandments um because of him but one thing i've learned about the lord is that there is nothing we can do to make him more god he is and so every commandment every instruction every direction is actually for our benefit and so when the lord started taking me on a journey that celibacy is for you my daughter there are things that i've called you to and i don't want you to be out of alignment because of things that you might get yourself caught up in now my friends that know me i have um i can have sometimes an extreme personality and so when i like something i really love it when i don't like something i'm not touching it and what i've started to recognize is that even in my personality the lord understood that if you just start doing this for pleasure or for desire you might find yourself in a addictive pattern and this could actually bring about a lot of destruction and it will bring you out of alignment with my will so not just even as it related to me personally but even as it relates to me in the general call of god because sex as we know in the bible sex is to bring oneness sex brings oneness with you and your partner and so it's not about just being one with just anybody and this is not to discourage people that maybe you've already you know you've lost your virginia in the earlier years because there are things that you can bring before the lord just for restoration in your soul in your mind and in your spirit but what i began to understand is that there is a difference between just the journey of celibacy and the mindset of purity because sometimes we can just say that campaign the journey of celibacy you might feel like i'm doing this to please god and you have to recognize pleasing god is above it's coming to that awareness that where does the revelation of god bring me into wholeness because it's not just about i'm doing this for the lord the lord is saying it for you to come to that place of wholeness and so when we connect the conviction of this is the way that god has called me to with an understanding that this is actually going to build my walk in wholeness that now brings us to the place of walking and purity because i i i could have said that you know lord i'm on this celibacy journey but during that journey there were times when i was watching pornography there were times i was giving myself to things that were not um there was not even an alignment with the will of god but in my head i'm like okay god i'm doing what you said i'm not having sex but when it brought me to the place of purity stephanie recognized that this is not just about me telling you that you know that says the lord type of thing but that i'm actually this is for your own goodness is going to bring you to a place of wholeness and the things that i've called you to and when we look at the life that we live we have one shot at this life we have it's not you know it's literally one shot to be the people that god has called us to be and for me i'm so curious and i'm after everything that god says i am that i'm not going to allow the perverted mindset when it comes to sex to derail me from the things that the lord has called me to do because what the enemy now does is the whole essence of perversion is to reveal something that is supposed to bring honor and glory not only to the lord but even to you walking in wholeness and to my to almost make it this my new thing and turn it into what is only the flesh can only get pleasure from and so when people look at sex and say you know what i'm just trying to hit that person you know just smash everybody that you have made something that is so spiritual and sex has different levels to it right this is the it's spiritual it's physical it's mental it's all of that and when you take it down to just this one element and say well this is just for physical pleasure this is where perversion comes from because what the enemy would take half truth and magnify that half truth and now add some deception to it and offer it to you as of course why would you want to enjoy this but in god we find the fullness of the commandment the fullness of the purpose behind his commandment and his way and so for me that has really been my walk you know i found myself thinking that okay i'm celibate you know and god is going to bless the same god let's just show me you're not walking in purity yes you're not doing the act but in your heart you are you're coming in sin connected to sexual immorality every single day and so when i came to that place of embracing for myself that god you have a purpose for this and that purpose is actually for my good and that gave me really the courage to say you know what i'm going to walk this out and walk this out in truth but another thing i have learned and i think this is just very practical is that sometimes we think that when we are on this celibacy journey then marriage is the reward right so we're like god you know i'm celibate and so now it's like marriage is my reward like i did what you said where is my husband where is my wife and we have to just recognize that first of all this is what we do it's not that marriage becomes this reward that okay you did this check mark god needs to send you your spouse right because anyone on the celibacy journey i believe at least you know maybe 99 of people they have a desire for marriage they have a desire to you know meet their husband or meet their wife but to recognize that character is also important you know so it's not just about saying that hey god i'm on this journey but being a person also of character another misconception i've seen is that people have this um almost like prideful idea that you know this i'm bringing myself to my spouse in this way so look you should be grateful for who i am and to really get your mind back to the place that it's not about me being the prize it's not about him being the prize jesus is the prize jesus is our reward in this he is the one that kept me he is the one that kept you he's the one that kept us whatever the journey of your dating relationship would look like but to always bring it back to the lord and come back to that place of what is the why behind my celibacy because if your why is not rooted in recognizing that this is about alignment this is about walking in the place of wholeness if your why is not rooted in that then there are many things that can easily be adored that the enemy comes in and brings deception and causes you to slip because if your why is connected to um celibate and yes we're celibate and we're looking to marriage but if you're celibate as the reward for god to give your spouse and you feel like time is going by and you haven't met anyone then when someone comes into your life and they're like hey you know i can't really mess with this celibacy journey you're on you will fall into temptation very easily because you feel like well this is the way it's for me to get married so you have to know you have to hone in on your why and that why has to bring you to a place of recognizing where you and god meet that yes this is a standard that the lord has set for my life but also this is a this is what would bring me into alignment and even just from a very not a very natural place you know a lot of times sex brings confusion too early in relationships and so a man might stay longer in the relationship that he needs to be because the sex might be great a woman might stay longer in the relationship because she doesn't want to add more people to her list and so it just kind of clouds your judgment even when you're looking to make a decision and again if something is clouding your judgment then it has you distracted and so for me that just looks again like something that could cloud me from being in alignment with the lord and so what i want to encourage everyone listening to this is that you need to get rooted in what is your why what is your why have you recognized that this actually brings you to the place of true alignment that just to kind of remove the things that would bring distraction and any type of seed of the enemy because like for me for example yes i wasn't watched i wasn't having sex when i started watching pornography that put a seed in my heart to even cause thoughts of cheating and all kinds of things when i started thinking about marriage and i'm like where did this thought come from but it was planted when i was watching pornography it was planted in other things so when we open ourselves to the very things that god is saying that hey don't do this we don't recognize that it's protection and so when i had to come to the lord with these thoughts i'm like god why where is this thoughts coming from why is it all of a sudden that when i think about marriage it actually scares me like i'm gonna be bored this is me being honest i'm like i don't want to be bored in a marriage but there was a seed planted when i was watching pornography because i saw what looked exciting and i'm like you know what i don't need a christian man to be boring because i will be out of this marriage but what was taking place is that the enemy used something that i had given my mind to and he used that to stop planting thoughts about things that would make me feel like oh this is about to be boring and the same thing happens when you start giving yourself to other people to men to women in sexual relationships it brings a sea that opens the door for the enemy to cause confusion to bring questioning and we'd start wondering where is these thoughts coming from but somewhere somehow a seed was planted and the power of the holy spirit is that when we can bring that before god then god will cause that light to be uprooted you know i'm reminded by scripture that just talks about bringing every thought into captivity into the obedience of christ any thought that would challenge the obedience of what the lord has called you to do you can bring that into captivity and so when i started paying attention paying attention to what i'm thinking about you know there's a saying think about what you're thinking about and when i said that paying attention to that i said god this is not from you and this is not even from me because that's not even in my character to have this idea of like oh my gosh this is you know i might be out type of thing but when i when i gave that to the lord the lord opened my eyes and showed me that a seed was planted when i used to watch pornography a seed was planted because it brought distraction and the enemy said oh there is an open door and i can use this door and so maybe you're someone maybe you've had that experience and maybe you're having that experience right now that you're worried when it comes to marriage you're worried when it comes to you know um settling not even i don't like the word settle down when it comes to you know having a life partner or what have you um but when you're worried about that and maybe you've opened up yourself sexually in the past to other people or even by the way of things like pornography that you can bring that to the lord and say heavenly father here are these thoughts there are not thoughts that glorify you they're not thoughts that come came from you and so we've shown me who i truly am and revealed the lie in this and all of a sudden god renewed my mind and i realized that way this this came from the enemy and i was able to rebuke that and not even engage it not even interact with it because one of the biggest problems that we have is that we have these thoughts that are not of god and we start engaging with it and one of the scriptures in this season that i'm holding on to and really every season of my life is a scripture that talks about with my mind i will serve the law of the lord so with my mind i will serve god so if my mind is open to something that does not serve the lord i rebuke it i cast it out i don't have time to engage with things that would derail me in the very purpose of god for my life and so i pray that for all of you listening that this encourages you um excited about the q and a session we're gonna have so get your questions ready and this is great you know i just gave you a lot of tmi about my own life but i believe that it's our vulnerability that brings healing it's a vulnerability that brings transformation and god has done such an amazing work in my own personal life in my purity journey so i don't even look at it as a celibacy journey anymore i look at it as a purity journey bringing me to the place of purity in my mind in my spirit in my soul about what it is i'm going after and even in the desire for marriage not just looking at it like okay god i checked up the celibacy mark but no i want a check of being like you having your image representing your character because at the end of the day that's what i'm bringing into a marriage as well so i pray this blesses you wow so good thank you thank you thank you i'm here still typing out my notes so you might have to give me a second to finish catching my my pieces together awesome thank you thank you so much thank you that was awesome you know um one thing that pastor stephanie said that just jumped out at me was this whole concept of journey of celibacy versus what a mindset of purity i never thought about it before you know i'm just like because sometimes we think about celebrity as something that i want to achieve something i want to get a medal and just tell god and tell everyone hey i'm a virgin i've never been with anyone or i you know i'm now i've been celebrating for like two years like it's this sobriety journey or something like that but that was so profound to me it's a mindset of purity i also like where she talks about seeds being planted and the way you know the holy spirit ministered to me as she was speaking was that wherever you find fruit it means that the seed was planted and i extend that beyond just sex just to every area of your life in general in general wherever you find fruit you know fruit of anger fruit of depression it means that a seed was planted that was so good can we please just put our hands together can i see you just put your hands together just celebrate pastor stephanie for that short but very great word um that was a sermonette i call that but that was very powerful and very profound thank you so much thank you so so so very much um for that we are we are going to have um dozier come up you know in a few minutes and after that right i get to you know curate or basically have a conversation with both stephanie and jose around some of the things they've talked about and other things beyond um things like this beyond the things that they've talked about so just you know engage with us if you have we can take maybe one or two questions in the chat section don't forget that week three and week four is our full on q and a sunday we dedicate the entire service for weekly and week four to just answering questions so get ready for that but we're going to have a discussion shortly after i'm going to introduce dozier um in a second and the first thing i'll say about jose is that he's just a jokester you know um i told him i told this guy send send us your bio or something he sent me like three different words and i'm like bro he's amazing he's amazing um i'm just gonna read what i have about him and we will receive him with with jesus joy dozier was born and raised in the empire state of new york jose isma is a nigerian man not afraid to love god have swag and dare to be a man with standards i know right those two are not mutually exclusive you can love god and have swag at the same time he is known for his honest and real work with christ he is securing his identity through christ and describes himself as someone who takes calculated risks dozier believes his purpose is to allow his life to serve as an example to others that walking along a christian journey is actually possible his heart for men and women ministry is evident through his weekly webcast entitled falling forward falling forward so you know pastor stephanie has a book called moving forward jose has a webcast called falling forward making standards come alive the webcast encourages the audience to look at falling differently and when he's given the opportunity he also enjoys sharing his testimony of playing in the nfl being a virgin and learning to reject shame you can expect to receive truth encouragement and practical tools today that can be applied to your life so can you please help me help me welcome dozier ezema to lighthouse church can i see you welcome him to lighthouse those are welcome thank you so much we're pleased to have you and we cannot wait to hear what you have to share and share your your story with us today over to you jose can you guys hear me can you see me we can hear you we can see you okay i can't see myself like that but okay let's see um yeah but thank you for having me thank you for having me on this platform and uh it's a blessing for coming on here uh sorry about my introduction being short i don't honestly it's funny i'm not i'm not a long-winded person i like to get straight to the point in a lot of ways but uh just even with this whole topic on uh hold up wait a minute and uh everything how it goes on with purity and waiting to marriage and celibacy and all of that um i love to to highlight and talk about why we are waiting or why we do whatever we do because in all honesty uh purity or waiting till marriage is not it's not for your spouse at all it's for your walk with christ and the reason i say that is myself when i look at myself and the reason why god has kept me and i say kept me because uh it was all a lie in the beginning you know like the way god that god caught me i never wanted to be celibate never wanted to wait till marriage this stuff is ridiculous in my opinion but i know i gotta do it because god wants me to do it if i have my choice i'll be out here in these streets like david and solomon but god said so i'm gonna do what god said because that's the right thing to do and in all honesty um just even with my story if if you look at it i love reading the book of of david and solomon and all of that solomon is my favorite person and the reason i say silence my favorite person because he reminds me of myself if you ever read the book of solomon a lot of christians don't read a lot of christians don't read their word they don't understand what god is saying solomon had a lust issue if you ever read it god didn't highlight it but if you read it the story of solomon ends with him giving up and having sex with different women from different areas and then the story ends it doesn't say he came back he doesn't say he stopped it just ends solomon was the wisest man in the world the bible says there was there is none wiser than him yet his wisdom could not protect him from women with all the wisdom in the world women were still your greatest struggle and the crazy thing is it didn't start with solomon it started with david because at the end of the day solomon was a child of david being trifling and what i love is the bible says david is a man after god's heart guess what the bible says i don't make it up we spit in facts the bible says david was a man of god's heart david was trifling the man slept with another man with another man's wife and then killed him this is the bible but yet he was a man after god's heart house way how are you a man after god's heart and you trifling like that but what i and what i love what i love about it because it shows how human we are but it also shows that there are consequences to our actions and it also shows that god forgives and he we move on because the sexual sin will put you in in struggle guilt is what keeps you there so if you read that story and it's in second samuel chapter 11 the sin kept david the sin is what put david in sin boom he's so bathsheba and because the title is holding wait a minute my man the bible says david walked out and it said he said hold up wait a minute who is that and you know what i love david didn't even ask her for a date he didn't win a diner he said yo i'm just trying to smash come to my place that's it that's how trifling david was he was like yo i'm king mind you i have many wives i have many concubines and i just want to have sex with you and because of that if you read the story his first son died with her that was a consequence his first son died and i look at my life and i understand the reason why god had me and why he has a lot of people wait to marriage or practice purity is because he's not just saving he's not it's not for your spouse it's more so for your salvation and more so for his other children you don't realize it but there's a lot of children that have been aborted because you out here in these streets and you don't realize it there's consequences to our actions and a lot of see this christian culture nowadays a lot of people want to talk about hugs and kisses that's great god's going to hug you and kiss you but you're going something's going to happen we don't just walk away unscratched david's first son died and you look at life today most women are in prison because of love and when i say love i mean some good sex and love because love is cool when you by yourself but when a man gives you good sex look for some of y'all on here that that knows what i'm talking about when a man gives you good sex all of a sudden your mind gets blurred and now you're in prison most men are locked up because of child support that means that they're over here smashing women and we had kids that's why most men are in jail it's not for petty crimes or big crimes it's child support not being able to pay that's why most men go in and out of the system so when you look at this these are consequences to sex so when when god set it up and when he did me when god had me and tricked me to waiting to marriage and i say tricked me because god did me dirty initially when i was younger i it was around 8th grade or so i'm in new york so we start having sex really early um uh well i'm from new york we started sex really early i don't want to i'm not even going to get into why but anyways we started sex really early we're exposed to a lot but around 8th grade all my homeboys were like bro who you who did you smash who you having sex with and i'd have to lie and be like yo i'm waiting till marriage i was lying it was a lot it was never meant to be a real thing i was saying it because i needed them off my back for a little bit while i build up my confidence you feel me and get out here in these streets and it's important to understand the way i was writing the way god made me i had no dreams or aspirations in life as a young child and what i mean by that is i didn't grow up saying i wanted to be this lawyer this singer um i wanted to be this celebrity i wanted to be rich i the only thing i wanted in life was women that was it from young all i wanted was women all i cared about was women i just wanted and you know what's crazy it's not even about sex i wanted your heart i figured having sex is easy but having a woman's heart bro you the man you're the man so that's all i wanted that's all i cared about and it was a secret thing that i wanted i never told anybody and this is a young age and i'ma tell you most men that are out here in these streets savages they're not doing it because they want women they're doing it for other issues as for me and myself yo you might as well just call me king solomon because the man i was out here trying to be like sullivan you know what i mean i was not intended to be good in any way any shape or possible matter of fact i have prophetic words that warned me of myself with women that's and so it's part of the reason you gotta say i didn't have the luxury to be out here in these streets and i understood why god kept me pure or kept me waiting till marriage till later on now i understand i'd be messing women's lives up and i'm not saying it like i'm attractive or whatever because ugly dude's messing women's lives of all the time all right so let's just let's just speak spit facts i'm not saying i'm good looking look cause some of y'all didn't talk to some dudes in here and you know to do you know what i'm saying he not gq you know what i mean is some dudes we we messed with some girls that that was extra basic but she was fire in the bed so let's let's just even talk about that but my purity everything he did i realized it wasn't so much for me but more for his daughters because i would have messed your life up and i promise you because i had no intention i didn't want marriage i just wanted to have you and just have you just to know that i did to make me feel better and i just thought women were trophies so that was the way i would design that was the way the enemy planned it and then god when i got he he would mess my life up and when i say mess my life from eighth grade till about 18 till i got saved when sexual encounters would come god would do something crazy i mean like the car would stop um my bus wouldn't happen i live in new york city buses don't ever stop running the bus would stop running um crazy things would happen to stop my sexual encounters so i'm looking like bruh what is going on who is trying to mess my life up and this was god doing this this entire time i didn't understand the calling he had on my life i didn't understand that he wanted me to play football and go far i just wanted women that was it so he did this and a lot of times you guys don't understand your purity is marriage is the the basic of you waiting it is your destiny your purpose your life your salvation some of you guys you will go to hell because of not being able to control your sexual your sexual issues or your sexual struggles and the reason i say that is unless we repent in all of this and all our sexual desires we're going down the wrong path period no matter what whether you know what for some people that don't even engage in sexual encounters you think that because you wait and you super holy or whatnot let's let's even talk about y'all that don't have sex but you swear you lust after everybody but you swear you the greatest in the world you walk on water that's not the case your sin just looks different from the norm and we have to understand purity isn't just waiting purity isn't just not having sex purity isn't just not having porn or masturbating purity is actually living in a way where your mindset and your purpose and your spirit is focused on god and i'm not even gonna hold you and act like i've been pure my whole life to be honest yo in all honesty i'm a savage in my mind like this right here this right here this yeah needs to be my read today and you know the craziest thing people got to be honest because i don't care for celibacy i don't want to um i mean i do it for christ of course but i don't want to wait till marriage the older you get it it's not cute it don't look good so for some of you guys even on a practical level and you thinking your celibacy is greater the older you're getting that's not a trophy unless god told you to wait till marriage you now have to work on other things because it's to celebrate people that have all these issues with men and women because you're weird and you're socially awkward and you don't even understand how to move with the opposite sex and now you want marriage because you think it's your trophy and you're mad at god when marriage doesn't occur when your purpose wasn't aligned in actually doing it for christ because if your purpose was in line to doing it for christ you would have been wired to already meet your spouse but you were too holy so now you're awkward and you have no idea how to deal with the opposite sex and a lot of people have to understand that because for me and i thank god he had me play football because i'm not gonna hold you i was the square you know what i mean i was a church boy you know what i mean i sweaty palms when it comes to talking to girls you know sweat dripping your shirt wet when you talking to women and all this i was a church boy and god used football to level me up because not because of sex with women but because he needed me to minister to a certain type of people that weren't super churchy people that go to clubs or people that that come from the street can talk to me as opposed to some somebody in church and it's not a knock on you but i understand my purpose from my purity matter of fact they usually walk up to me and they're like yo where are all the girls at i know you got a bunch and i'm like now i'm chilling and they're like what you mean clearly you out here in these streets and then ministry starts from there it happens all the time people like there's no way you're not having sex whatever church you go to i have to go to that's how it happens when men not understand times when they when we start talking about christ so god has used that as an avenue not for marriage but for him so i want i want to encourage everybody on a practical tip when you're practicing celibacy and all of this you have to understand that you are not strong to don't think that you can handle situations don't think you can put yourself in certain situations you you're not built like that now everybody's everybody's changes everybody has different standards for themselves but don't be a fool and think you're greater because all the people that fell thought that they were great wonder woman you thought you were superman i'm gonna i'm gonna hang out with him i'm asleep in this bed naked and we not gonna do nothing you right and rocks talk too cause you out here acting crazy you know what i mean rocks must talk because you're over here thinking that you just not gonna do stuff like that and you have to understand you have to pay attention to what everybody says i always tell people listen to the spirit and listen to what people say stop trying to go so deep that you miss what's right in front of your face everybody says the same thing when i had sex or when we when we end up having sex or we fell i didn't expect it i didn't know so it lets you know that everybody lost control and they were not pertaining they were not planning to have sex so on a practical level if you know that most people saved and not end up having sex or end up falling because they didn't plan to then you should know don't put yourself in any situation that'll cause you to think or to try on a practical level but i want you to also understand that if you do fall or god forbid something happens look at david that's a prime example of the most trifling situation and god forgiving him and blessing him with an amazing son solomon after now solomon had his own issues yes but if you repent and you truly repent to god and you move on yes you messed up in the sin but guilt is what keeps people where they're at you gotta understand in that in that story the whole story the the baby was born after i mean the baby died later on but understand and then solomon came that's more than nine months that's about two two years or so if anything winning because it speaks about when bathsheba gave had child and she was pregnant then the baby died then nine months after that solomon came so when you're looking you're looking about at least a good year or two with this lie going on that david had but yet god still forgave him so i want everybody to understand if you slip up you can repent and move on never let the guilt trap you matter of fact the word of god it even says that david fasted and prayed that god would change that god would change his mind as far as killing his first child and god did not and guess what when he did not david stop fasting he stopped praying put up some clothes and eight and he moved on so when you mess up or if you mess up move on after it the guilt is what keeps you i've messed up in plenty of ways maybe not gonna go all the way having sex but i never stayed guilty in what i did if i messed up look at what it is we're moving on christian could be mad at me i don't really care you're not jesus you're not my mom you're not my brother or sister i'm moving on with christ so i wanted to i want everybody to understand that and that's really all i have to say for you guys hey man oh and i'm excited for this q a coming up too definitely ready doors yeah thank you i think we were we weren't ready for you man at all we were not ready so good so good can we please celebrate those years for that short but very packed encouragement thank you so much thank you so much you know one of the things he said the sin gets you there but guilt keeps you there right you know guilt keeps you there and that is so that is a word right that is so true um another thing you said that stands out to me because we said this just about i think about a couple weeks ago that you don't don't so think about this way you're not strong so you're strong because the bible says my grace is sufficient for you and all that but you're not meant to test the grace of god right so you're strong but you're not strong and you know that scripture in first corinthians 10 i'll just read 12 and 13 to us before we go into the q a it says that therefore let him who thinks that he stands let him take heed lest he fall right then he says that no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man but god is faithful who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able with every temptation he will make a way of escaping hey we said this last week or two weeks ago that what god does he doesn't take away the urge he doesn't take away um you know the need or you know the the temptation but what he does is that he makes a way of escape so you gotta use the door right you don't you don't stay there and start praying you have to run from that situation so thank you thank you dozier thank you um stephanie as well are you are you guys ready for some questions right now can we can we can we do this i have a couple questions that i'll take from the house but then i have a couple of just introductory questions that i wanted to ask you guys by myself just for the benefit of our audience and whatnot stephanie my first question is for you um how did you how did you how did you land um as this executive pastor what was your journey from that age of nine to executive pastor what does that look like so that doesn't sound like selling this thing but uh but no no from nine to where i am now honestly i think it's just in the journey of obedience if i'm being honest um that's really what it's been because even when i was leaving nigeria um initially my initial goal was to study in the uk so i was going to go to the uk and i wanted to study law and so the lord showed me that i haven't called you to london i've called you to the united states and so at that time i told my mom i'm like hey actually i think i need i'm supposed to go to the u.s i already had family out here and i explained to her my mom already you know she had seen the consistency of just the faithfulness of god in my life and knowing that anytime he said something to me that you know that was actually leading me in the right direction so it began with the obedience to choose the location that god was sending me to um and then coming here really just obedience along the way i think one of the turning points in my life was i was at the height of like um you know in real in business and i was flipping properties in real estate just living my best life as i thought um and the lord told me he's like walk away from it and i'm like walk away from what you're talking about and he'll just like walk away from the business walk away from everything and i'm like what am i supposed to do about finances and it's like i literally like lived on savings and so he just said walk away from it all so i walked away he told me to move to downtown l.a i moved um and right there i was like what am i doing here and you know nigel my mom was like stephanie have you lost your mind what are you doing that is not going to end well no i'm just sure i mean it ended well now but it was not good back then you know and literally the direction of god was for me to go to the church that i'm now the executive pastor and when i went there he the moment i walked in he was like this is the house that i would raise you um in your in your ministry and so the first thing the lord told me to do was to serve as an usher so to volunteer and said to me that for a whole year never miss a service um and oh like just be diligent and be excellent and so imagine telling your nigerian mother who is a businesswoman to the core that i walked away from everything to volunteer at the church she was like stephanie is not america that needs god we need him here if you are looking to do the gospel you can do it in nigeria and find a good job i was like ma if it's about getting a good job like i'm in business you know but i was like i just have to obey the lord so it wasn't fun it wasn't fun at all i went in months um family just misunderstanding me um you know not really talking to that many people but when they saw the fruit because that's the beautiful thing about the word of god there will always be fruit tied to the word so when they began to see the fruit of it as time went on um i remember one time even my brother was like stephanie i'm sorry like we didn't get it and that was one thing the lord said to me he said your family is not going to understand but in time they will so don't hold any grudges don't hold any offense because they are not supposed to understand i didn't speak to them i spoke to you um and so that's really the truth of it it's been a journey of obedience wow wow thank you so much for sharing that um well my parents passed us but even if i told them you know i remember just back then that oh i'm going to i'm going to do ministry full time and i'd probably say come come home let's have a meeting and he'll call all the elders of the family and they'll pour oil on my head and cast out the devil it was it was wild you know so i really appreciate that i think one of the things you said that's you know sticks to me is the fact that your your ability to hear god at critical intersections of life has really been what has chatted your course um you know a lot of i just cannot i cannot separate your ability to hear god from your story you know that's that's the way i see is like god said this god said this god said go here and it was just like abraham right god gave him this random instruction leave your father's house what leave your country what to wear oh i'll tell you just that going i'm like seriously what are you talking about you know so that makes perfect sense thank you um for sharing that because i think a lot of us are trying to figure out our journey um we say we want to live with purpose but what we don't understand is that sometimes that means very radically different choices from what is the norm what our family wants what we've ever wanted for ourselves like jose was talking about all he wanted he had no ambition dead you're just trying to get girls and god says you know do this do this and i spoke to dozier um i think was friday night and he was talking about how god said move to atlanta and i'm like you know just the ability to hear god is everything right in our journey so thank you so much for sharing that i have follow-on questions but i want to jump to those here for a second um josie and i know you touched on this a little bit um i went to howard university okay in dc so that's a party school right um and i wasn't an athlete or anything so you were an athlete how did you survive and i think this links to one of the questions i'm getting in the chat how did you practically i know you talked about god you know intervening and blocking you a lot of time but how did you survive university as an athlete super you know superstar athlete and still maintain your mindset well not you didn't have a mindset of purity you were a journey of celibacy at the time now you have a mindset of purity right how did you do that how did that work for you practically because i think most of us need to hear that you know what on if we could be honest uh college was one of the hardest times in my life my junior year college was probably one of the hardest in my life it's gotten harder again but junior my junior college was extremely hard and on a practical level one thing i did in college was um i was very linear focus on what i needed i would uh also one this is not for everybody but i did not i did not party in college i had my degree was chemistry and i had football so i didn't have time to do a lot of stuff that other players did and one thing i did was when things got hard i went from class to home and i would pray i mean it sounds crazy i mean it sounds really cliche when it comes to like real christian life it sounds cliche and i get it how people say you know um it sounds too biblical or whatnot but that's honestly what i did there were certain times where i couldn't even be around the women because one they're throwing themselves at you and like i said once again it's not for looks i was a football player i could have looked like a rock it didn't matter they saw money so uh they sold money that's how it works and um so they threw themselves at me and honestly i would go to class and i'll go home and i'd have to pray like i just have to pray and the the hardest thing was really when i would there was a girl who i would talk to who i was interested in that was the hardest thing to do so honestly when i would go home and pray i would tell god and i was very i'm very direct with god very direct and there were certain times i had to pray and i had to let god know and when i say prayer i had a conversation i let god know um this is probably the greatest thing i let god know i say look god if you don't stop me this girl i describe her you already know her i'm gonna i'm trying to do this this night with her i'm gonna go and i tell him exactly what i plan on doing i'm gonna meet her i'm gonna holler at her just like this because you know i swear i'm the smoothest man in the world i'ma invite her over and i'm gonna do this this and that and you have to stop me and when i tell you that god will stop me every time but it's the honesty that protects me a lot of people are not honest with god like he doesn't already know yeah yeah yeah that's so good that's so good right a lot of us pray god stop me and then you you're on your way you're in your car stop me and you make a right and a left turn god stopped me and you go up the elevator yeah god's not gonna help you right that's so good that's so good um just being honest with god that'll be my i guess um just summarizing for everyone being honest with god in your moment of weakness you know truth is i think when you grow up especially if you grew up in you know african culture it's almost like we pretend like god doesn't know the problems you know like we pretend like god doesn't know that you're struggling you know and i said it's okay to be honest with god right it's okay to be honest god i'm really struggling this week is like all the demons from hell are after me right what am i what are we going to do about this you know about this situation and and you know being accountable to god first and then to others i think that was great thank you thank you for sharing that i have a question here that i want to take from um our audience um so someone talked we already touched on the first one which is around boundaries uh there's a question here around what if you have a man who is a christian and accepts you except you accepts that you're celibate but still wants to perform oral sex on you and you on them you said he was christian right what yeah that's the question uh i'm gonna have jose answer this one because i think we need to crack up of it you have a man who's a christian except for but he still wants to perform oral sex on you and you and them so yeah those here go you know you know honestly it's it's funny to me when uh christians you know they want to be like i'm celibate but i'm having oral sex it says sex after it you're not celibate cut it out you're not celibate and then also i'd say this too if it feels like sex and your body reacts like sex it sucks because you're still getting the same pleasure and on another level good so good say that again that that was that that's wow okay right if it feels like sex and your body reacts like sex then it's sex and if we can be very honest and frank there are women who prefer oral sex way more than sex with men there are men there's there's few men few men in this world but there are some men that prefer prospects to more than more than real sex but just because of that and there's people that prefer more you're not abstaining from anything you're not practicing abstinence in any way you're having sex and i even tell people when you masturbate you're having sex with yourself sweetheart or or the dude like it's it's all the same thing so at the end of the day and and the bible always says it's staying from sexual immorality this is what the word of god says sexual immorality so we're not even going to get into this the whole theological hey is oral this or sexual immorality is sexual immorality and the bible says abstain from it because i don't like when christians don't read their bible and then they want to come and be like oh um i'm practicing celibacy no you're acting like a clown because you declaring your word you know what i mean so when it comes down to it let them know bring the scripture out it's not sexually immoral and that's it there's that's the facts the bible is facts if you believe the bible and you claim to be a christian then let's just go off the facts of the word of god thank you stephanie you want to add something or is that comprehensive enough for you yeah no that that's real i mean because i i've had that experience with a guy in the past and i remember he was like not respected you know yeah feels like i respected he was like but you know you know is there room for oral and the truth of the matter i think it goes back to understanding the difference between celibacy and purity because i think that people just think that celibate celibacy is the act of abstaining from sex so if it's you know if people don't have the understanding of what dozier just shared that anything that feels like sex if if it feels like it if you get the same pleasure if you're getting the same because you will still have an orgasm with oro you know let's just be real so if you're to get that same pleasure then it you are it is sex you know to some degree and i think that people just move in an ignorance that sex is looks like this and so if it's outside of that then we should be fine right um and i think it just goes back to either the woman or the man having a deep understanding and then being able to communicate that and that's why i believe that for anyone watching if you are on that purity journey to um have levels to your understanding of what it means to walk with god in purity so that you don't easily get you that you're not easily swayed in a relationship to feel like well maybe there's room for this um so i really love what dossier shared because then it's just really sharing what your your boundaries are and if a person respects it then they respect you and if they don't then you know you have your answer wow so good so don't play yourself pretty much i think the good thing about this question is that you know there's there is a common ground which is the fact that both of you are christians and so the bible can work in this situation right so for us as christians when we find ourselves in some situations the bible might not be the best tool to engage in conversation because there is we don't have that common ground right you don't go to someone who doesn't believe in your god doesn't believe in your bible and say the bible says well he doesn't care right but then when you're talking someone who's a christian and you're dating this person there is a common ground which is the bible so you guys need to open it together and come to that point of balance that doji talked about so so good thank you guys so much i have another question here i want to take this one and then i go to another thing um okay so this is a good question it says that what practical steps are things can young women do to overcome negative views between purity virginity and self-worth so that whole idea i think of i'm still a virgin something must be wrong with me i'm not having sex everyone is doing it so my self-esteem is affected things like that right what what can you say to young women who are struggling with that you know in this season yeah um when you don't have a why then other people's reasoning you start adapting to other people's reasoning um and that's where it begins because if i'm just doing this again to you know because god said if i don't understand the value it has in my life if i don't understand the worth it has on my life then i would adapt to other people's way of thinking so for example when i was in college i pledged to the sorority i pledged aka and you know greek greek life in college is sex it's party sex drugs and i remember where you know i mean there's also the powerful things that happen on the other side but most of it is really it comes down to these three things now when people i remember like my sorority sisters would say like stephanie like you're missing out you know you need to just give in just once you know the the frats would tell me like man there was a time that even it was so they thought i was definitely lying that they had like some um some frat brothers came together and they made a bet they're like man like who's gonna get her first because she lied right and people will always tell me like oh you're missing now so when they will have conversations if they're having like stories and where you feel like you know it's to kind of give you this feeling like you're the odd one out if you don't have a story to share but i it never bothered me because there was i was coming into my why i noticed that when i would feel like even even like confidence because let's say you're dating someone and you don't have the confidence to say hey i'm a virgin then you are not rooted in your why and so i would believe that it's going back to that because when you find something worthy you are you're it's easy for you to talk about it it's easy for you to speak on it's easy for you to share it it's just my relationship with jesus is like my biggest treasure i would talk to him to anyone if i can't talk about jesus to someone then it questions what i believe about him the same thing when it comes to my purity journey if i don't have the ability to talk about it or i i feel weird in circles when they're talking about sex then something i'm not rooted in my why and so that would be my first encouragement like to get fine get you know have a foundation of how does this what does god have for me in this journey and when you understand the power of it for your personal life and not just about marriage but your personal walk with god then i mean there's really no room for the idea of like shame on worthiness wow that's so good right so basically it's this whole concept it sounds very you know very christian that jesus is everything to me right um and and you know imagine the parable of jesus where he says that the kingdom of god is like you find you know a pearl of great price that you're willing to sell everything that you own and buy that you know so basically you're saying that if you have the mindset you're the y first number to the mindset that you walk with god your relationship with jesus is everything to you then there is nothing else that equates or you're not willing to trade anything else for that for that relationship that that was good but i think um does it so to that point guys also struggle with i think it's actually worse for guys to an extent different application but it is right where you know it's almost like you're a guy you're expected to be doing these things so what's your problem and you know how how would you encourage guys who are trying to live pure right um in the world where we are today which is yeah you know i know where we live right we're not in new york but we still live in a pretty dark society right no you're right and um i would tell any man you must get a level of confidence in your celibacy you must because we as men shame other men for not having sex we shame you or at all times you will always be shamed for waiting and for not having sex low-key like beneath in a quiet way we'll we'll respect it but we'll joke about it and that's what i mean every man will have a deep respect for you but you will be the joke so you must develop a level of confidence because if you don't what you're gonna but you're going to look for affirmation from other men just to fit in and then from there you'll end up doing certain things that you didn't even want to do but you know with men you know it's the ego for us and it's a sizing each other up so you don't want them to look down on you and the reason i say you have to have an edge and a level of confidence in it is because when the battle comes if you put it in check it won't come again and on a prime example for instance in the locker rooms people will come and make fun of me well they were trying to make fun of me but you know i was born a race where i'm from you're not going to come to me with no smoking think you're just going to walk away so they will come in and be like hey you know um you wait until marriage this is that you're not gonna be any good that at all all of this stuff and um they're like yo the girls don't even may not even want you and i was like stop it i could take your girl let's not even do that let's not do that and it's a joke it's a joke but the fact that i had confidence enough to say that lets him know oh i can't try him anymore and the reason i say this is it doesn't sound cute but in the world we live in you're not in church when you're out in these streets you cannot talk in a hey i'm just so holy god has me filled men don't respect that you have to stand and tell them look i really don't care how you feel this is what i'm going to do when they see that they will respect who you are but if you don't then they will nitpick on you and then it'll eat away at your identity yeah so you have to and firm it's not like women you don't have that same luxury where they're cool with you in some sort of way wow that is so good that is so good um and you're so right right you only need to fight that battle once once you win they'll never come back to you and the truth is people actually respect you for it they absolutely respect people that do what they cannot do or are what they cannot be right so that is a very very good point thank you thank you i have a question here that says what advice would you give to someone who's seeking to break soul ties and then do you believe in soul ties what advice would you give to someone who is seeking to break soul ties [Music] yeah i think what soul ties when i think about that i think about first it's the soul so there's the soul realm that's connected to your way of thinking your way of being um so like your will your emotions and all of that and so for me the the way i look at breaking soul ties is wholeness within my soul because what my soul is tied to is brokenness at that stage so even if like when you have because there's there's the even went from let's say from a sex element right um there's the entanglement that you can have with a person but when you start to discover wholeness in yourself first of all what attracted me to you what drew me to you what where did we find ourselves what was this bond created and when i begin to live from a higher place than where i met you from the place of what drew me to you my soul cannot be tied to you because the brokenness that you met no longer exist and so for me the first way i look at it is my journey with god to find healing in my soul and so the way i think to be different the way i live to be different because however i was thinking when i met you that now cause disruption or cause even maybe even more damage to me when i find healing in god it removes that that um almost like the stronghold that you had in me and so the problem is we try to find healing from the other person and so it's all the questions of you know why why didn't you pick me why did you leave why did you ghost me why you know why did this happen why did you cheat on me what so we're trying to find healing from the very person that we're also trying to break free from but when you find healing in god it brings you into a different level of wholeness that i cannot be bound to you anymore like this this hole that you had on me i found my healing in god and so i would encourage people first to understand that it takes time there's patience involved in that um even being in prayer about that because again with sex there can be some spiritual ties to that but even just being in prayer that lord whatever that is like break it off i remember there was a friend of mine when she started having sex with her boyfriend the dreams that he would have of him drowning she started having the same dreams you know because there was there was a oneness that took place so one is to keep put it in prayer but to also bring to god what drew me to this person what was it what level of brokenness did i find in myself that connected me to this person and when i can find my healing in god it breaks off what was the tie because i just look at it there's something that tied me in this moment and if i grow out of it then i'm no longer entangled wow wow so good thanks thanks for sharing that um you know reminded of something you said earlier which was about your honesty with god um dozier i think that when we come to god a lot of us we still keep part of ourselves as safe to say we want to present the good parts to god but god is the person i can say to our church all the time god is the father you run to when you've messed up so also opening up these areas these dark areas of the lord um are very helpful so you need to tell the lord i'm struggling here why am i having these feelings why am i still having these connections you need to help me and pray about it all right don't pretend like it doesn't exist because it's going to stay it's going to linger for longer than it needs to all right just uh just an add on there a little bit on that soon of course absolutely all right so with the fact well i mean with uh to break off soul ties too i definitely recommend fasting and prayer but not just in a spiritual christian way but i mean fasting from the person because if it's one thing i know yeah when people finish with somebody and it's it's mainly women and men do this you know their whereabouts you know who they're talking to after you know where they've been because you're following them on social media you're still answering their messages or you're at least reading it you have people tabs on them if you really want to break off the soul tie you have to fast from the person and then you can build up strength to even be around them but cut off all ties block i tell them block people if a man block a woman woman block a man block them starve yourself from any communication with them that's the only way the cord is going to get weakened enough to break yeah wow that is really good that is very very good that i definitely recommend that thank you thank you dozer i'm glad you spoke up there thank you i'll take one here what advice would you give to young couples um getting on that journey of purity as a mindset as opposed to the journey of celebrities so you're a young couple you're dating obviously um i think people well people think it's more difficult to remain celibate or have you know go on that journey of purity if you are in a relationship with someone so i don't know it probably is practically maybe it is but still i don't think it affects purity maybe celibacy but not purity for sure um but that's that's the question what advice would you give to young couples who are getting in on that mindset of purity as opposed to regional celibacy you're dating or you're i don't know engaged or something whatever yeah you know i think it's i mean if i kick off like knowing what you your it has to be healthy boundaries in the relationship one um and so that at some point that's just like key there has to be boundaries so both people being honest about their triggers and so if my trigger if if the trigger is staying like sleeping in the same bed together then that needs to be a boundary where you know if you're visiting you sleep on the couch or maybe like everyone just needs to know like what are their triggers so i think there's some couples that say like they don't didn't kiss till they got married now that's not my trigger maybe someone else is triggered you know but if you're staying in bed with someone now that could be a trigger so i'm like okay this could be used to be a boundary um so i think first of all being honest with each other about what is your sexual triggers and knowing that okay now we need to build healthy boundaries about this and not testing your boundaries i think that looking at boundaries almost as abusing the grace of god because there's the awareness of a boundary and that boundary is where god's grace comes in so if you start testing your boundaries you're abusing where god has said this is the place of grace um so i think that's the first thing um i think another thing is just even both couples um being like even um praying together i would even say like having uh being kind of like you know practicing their spiritual walk together so that you're not finding yourself because i would say even praying together every morning even in the if you're dating if it's you're actually dating with the intention for marriage or if you're in the place of engagement um because what that does is that it's inviting god not only to your day as individuals because you could have your own individual prayer life but in the inviting that to be the strength of your life even as a couple um i think that's just so powerful because again it dosey even spoke about this earlier we are weak you know that's the fact and when you're it's it has to be hard i want to if i'm with a man i i should move you where you're like i need to take a break you know i need to step back from you it's going to be hard right so it's inviting god to recognize like lord we are weak in this and what is our triggers and being healthy with those boundaries and recognizing like my boundary is where god's grace meets me and so i have to be able to set that and just be talking to each other being honest with each other when you feel like men today was hard or this was hard or whatever and it's like inviting god into that safe space so if you're used to praying with each other on a daily basis then even in moments like that you can say hey let's let's try to give this to god right now you know but yeah oh that's that's that's good uh does you end up at something or yeah definitely i want to piggyback on everything stephanie said i completely agree with her as far as boundaries and especially honesty but i also want to highlight too that there's when in your boundaries as couples people have to understand where they have negative boundaries toward themselves and what i say is you test the water so much that you build up this strength that's not conducive toward marriage for instance i can lay in the bed with you for days and not want to have sex with you that's not a good thing and you have to understand that if you have be able to work that muscle out imagine in marriage you guys should should want to be able to be around each other i can live with you for for months and years and not want to have sex with you that's not a good thing so certain people certain boundaries that you should not be getting strong in because it's not conducive to a marriage wow so i need those and people to understand certain things that you want to play with and you want to build a strength to it's not actually good for you so understand the purpose of your boundary and the purpose of what you're doing wow that's whoa that is crazy that is so true though that is a true you know like um when stephanie says that practice your spiritual walk together um that that's such a practical tip right it's very difficult for you to go from we've just finished praying so let's get in the bed right it's just it just doesn't work all right so i i think it's it's uh that's very practical right so before you guys start feeling certain things or start certain emotions start going through you you know you should start praying or pray together it's very difficult to transition that um to be honest with you just practically it doesn't nothing kills them like prayer if you're not married all right all right uh i have a question i wanted to ask you um stephanie first you're obviously just from following you and your content any kind of stuff you put out uh i would say that one of your gifts apart from communication is you're you're you're you're quite prophetic right you're you actually would be bothering on a seer um i'm not a seer at all i tell people i don't see anything we have some serious in our church i don't see i just know stuff right so how what would be your advice because i have a church of we have a church of really gifted people young people who are really gifted you know in different different things how what would you advise for people who are young and gifted you know the hand of god is on their life um how do they steal that because i find that sometimes because you know young people have a tendency to i don't know abuse the gifts or just not channel it properly how would you how would you advise young people who are gifted in this season yeah i would say to honor the channels um there's a scripture that talks about when it says that do not cast your pearls before swine and it's very practical to god as well um god is not if you're not someone that knows how to nurture the word then they may be a limitation to what you receive when you're able to honor god in the what the instruction that may seem small it amplifies the voice of god in your life but under the channels for me is even writing presently what are the channels that um you feel like you're growing in so if it's in your dream life um not just picking and choosing dreams that you pay attention to but that when you go to bed you have a journal by your bed or something that when you wake up and that dream is fresh you journal it you write it down you bring it to the presence of god and say lord what is it that you're showing what is it that you're guiding me it's as simple as having a dream about a friend and feeling waking up and feeling burdened and praying for that person because that's an act of obedience god you showed me something that's concerning about a friend of mine and now i want to cancel that even in the place of prayer so what you're doing is that you're showing yourself to be a worthy partner of the revelation of god and so now whatever god is showing me i'm looking into it because one of my favorite scriptures in the bible is when it talks about it is the glory of god to conceal a thing and it's the glory of kings to search it out i think many times when we think about the prophetic we think that it's about you know god i'm just waiting for you to just give me this open vision that without a doubt i know what you're saying but it is searching out the matter it is that okay even in the place of prayer when i'm praying i'm praying with the expectation that god show me something when i'm praying for a friend it could be that i could see maybe the clouds open i take it serious in that moment okay what does that what does the bible say about this is this open is this an open vision is it open heaven rather and i begin to write that down now i'm praying for them in their in their walk with god that okay lord whatever it is that they're seeking for in this time may your favor be like an open heaven over them concerning what their what they believe or what they desire for because the thing is that we think because one of the one of the issues i think today is that the prophetic has been glamorized so people look at the prophetic as a ministry um that is is you know is to be like like oh this is great when i see you i can tell you your name and that's not it it's it's a it's a it's a ministry that comes with responsibility and a burden it's really the biggest part of it is that it's one of the biggest burdens you would carry because you were carrying a weight it's when there's a song i love so much it talks about god break my heart for what breaks yours right the prophetic is the ministry that breaks your heart for the things that breaks the heart of god so that it brings you before the lord to pray to intercede to seek revelation to seek insight because you are you are communicating you're it's almost like you're being a representation of god and so i think that when we remove the glamour and we understand that this is a ministry of responsibility and it has a weight to it then we begin to not be spiritually lazy while talking about god give me a vision because it's because especially in the nigerian culture even african culture we've made the prophetic about your account number is this what does that have to do with my life right now your phone nu the devil knows my phone number you know you can tell you my address what does that have to do with my life today we've made it about that and and we so now you to the point that people don't even know how to differentiate someone walking in a spirit of divination and someone walking in the in the spirit of prophecy and so when you walk with the responsibility that the prophetic is to bring change the prophetic is to build up is to is to uproot things that don't serve the lord and build and manifest the kingdom of god then you're not looking at it like a glamorized ministry but you're looking at it as god i want to partner with you in this thing and so i would say honor the channels when you are before the lord if you want to receive a revelation and spend more time in prayer one thing that i think is very practical jesus said to his disciples could you not wait with me at least could you not watch with me at least an hour so if you are hungry for this then your prayer life should be at least an hour where you are just in the place of whether it's prayer study and like god reveals something to me because revelation is is a gift there's a scripture that talks about that what is revealed to man is for him and his children is an inheritance whenever god who knows everything decides to show you something then there is power in that something and so if you want to if you want to walk in that then you have to be someone who's committed to searching out the things of god wow you know your passion came through there it was like you were about to burst oh yeah i could tell that that yeah oh wow yeah so good on other channels on other channels um do not cast your pearls to swine that i'm going to keep that one in my head and i think those are i have a question for you in a second right um but what what stephanie has just said is so profound right it's that it's in the little things um you know god is a wise god he doesn't cast his pearls to swine so if you if he finds you faithful in little things so he shows you one thing and you ignore it he shows you something else and you ignore it well the third time it's probably going to be like you're not a worthy partner you're not you know i can't find you faithful and it's happened to me in seasons of my life where you know god was showing me something and i did not act on it as i also have acted on it and i found out like what's happening looks like god is not speaking to me anymore like he used to do before and he's like oh bro last couple of things we talked about you do nothing you just we just you know just kind of cast it away so that that's a very value point thank you thank you um stephanie start to think around because i'll come back to that in a second gifted people and um focus right um because also something about gifts is that there's a tendency for you when you find that you're gifted you just want to go all over the place you just want to start making noise you want you know i don't know think about that i'll talk about this but i want to ask you something about you know going through tough seasons because i i did understand that at a point in your career you suffered an injury you broke your ankle or something like that and for you know aspiring professional athlete that's like that's like that's like the rapture he's like god just take me home now kind of thing right it's it's extreme how did you navigate that season of that must have been incredibly difficult how do you navigate that because right now we live in a time when we're all going through so much there's so much darkness in the world you know and even prophetically as well it's not going to get better right um it's it's we're in a season where things are just rough and we need to be able to navigate through tough times how did you get through that season of your of your life honestly i learned a clung to the word of god but when i say the word of god it wasn't the bible it was a prophetic word wow so one thing about me if if i receive a prophetic word and it's god speaking it is god speaking so i cling to it with my every bit of my dna and i held it because at that time um a lot of people a lot of athletes go through depression it's not it's not spoken about but a lot of us go through depression things like that and um i realize now how i could have went through depression but because i stuck and held on what god said it was able to pull me through but when you do that in situations like that your world is shattered you know your world is shattered a lot of people um a lot of people can relate when you thought everything was going this way you got prophetic words that this was supposed to happen everything was aligned you got all the confirmations you saw it you were there and then all of a sudden something happens wow so in that situation or in that time you honestly you either think god is a liar or you can choose to you can choose to disbelieve him or you can choose to believe him and still know his word but regardless at the end of the day what happened has happened and either it has to change or you have to move on but something has to you cannot stay where you're at and the mistake that a lot of people make is they stay where they're at and that's when the spirit of depression comes in because depression is not progressive it does not move it traps you in the same spot so you're really trapped in time so you get depressed because the world is moving past you but i clung on and that's why you just like you talking about gifting that's why it's so it's so important for people to understand their gifting and understand why it's there and not use it loosely because if somebody had given me a word around that time that was not meant for the moment it could have shattered my life but from the simple word of what they said i held onto it because they were a mouthpiece for god and also i heard god for myself so i couldn't confirm it but that was that was really that that's the best way i can say to come out of situations like that wow that's really good i mean what you've said to me just now is it's better that you've heard god before you fall into the dark place uh because that's the word you're gonna need that's gonna be your anchor to pull you out um when you fall into that dark place it gets more more difficult to hear god right um just because you know it's so much going on wow thank you for that thank you for sharing that i appreciate it um circle boxes stephanie with that question around gifted people in focus and just being iron cored or planted yeah you know i think that definitely there's this always gonna be that babe season right where you are just on fire and you don't know how to handle the fire i think even like the prophet elijah um in right after he received the mantle the double portion you know he i mean the next thing you see the man do is command some animals to kill some people abuse of power i know talk about abuse of power right you know but i think it's a normal it's a normal part of the journey because you are growing in your gift and the thing is that the focus really comes in in knowing that you can always get back up we always make and even for me i remember there was a mistake one time i made the lord had revealed something to me about a couple that were together and it was not his will and when they were but he it was not just about him revealing that it was like there were layers to things that only could come from the lord that that revelation only come from god and that was so quick because the girl was a friend of mine and i'm like i want to see her marrying the wrong person and i remember she had reached out to me she was like hey she was asking me questions about it and i just told her my mind and the her boyfriend reaches out to me and he was just like you know um why would you say this to her and blah blah blah like you know that you have a place that like she would listen to what you're saying and didn't do that but he was coming at me i said you know what don't let the kingdom fool you i'm nigerian don't just be talking to me anyhow it was my ego my pride that came out i said you must be mad if you think you don't talk to me like this and literally the lord um checked me he was like stephanie that's not how you walk with me that's not it and i i had to call him back and say look i apologize you know um i i misstepped like that was not even something for me to talk about um so the fact of the matter is that we're all gonna have moments where we are you know all over the place but it's knowing how to get back into the presence of god it's knowing that you know at the end of the day the posture of your life before the lord is humility when you lose humility we can't even talk about focus you know there's nothing to focus on and so what i would actually encourage everyone is to fight for that posture of humility there was the prayer that david said search my heart oh god that should be your daily prayer like lord search my heart in this moment because the prophetic or revelation visions anything that comes from the lord it can cause a person if you don't know how to handle it or even when you come into the awareness of your power as a child of god it can cause you to move in a level of pride because you see elijah who went from telling the the bears to be i mean the animals i think with some beers or something to kill the men to elijah when actually people were coming against him and all he said was um you know what lord make them blind he didn't he didn't he didn't ask for anyone's life that was someone who had matured in his calling and in his gift and so i would just encourage everyone humility that's the biggest thing even when you pray at night or in the morning lord show me my heart if there's anything that i did that made that made me walk out of character with you what is it and being a person that is willing to apologize if you can apologize to someone whether you feel right or wrong if god calls you out on something if your relationship with god is a relationship where you're always right you need to question the relationship because that is impossible and so in your relationship with god just knowing when you step out of line that you can get back in i think that's the truth because when you're a baby in your in your walk you're going to make mistakes that's a given wow thank you thank you so much we've been knocking at one o'clock right now and i want to be respectful of our time um especially for dozier and um stephanie there's a question here it's a yes or no question is dozier single yes this is a question from the book of revelation okay yes this is a deep question a deep mystery of the gospel [Laughter] that's hilarious um my last question for both of you and then we're going to pray out is is this right now considering the fact that you're you're doing ministry to some extent you've walked with the lord to a degree right you have a testimony which is a positive testimony our testimonies are not the same i met god when i was 20. just sunday after i graduated from university um and it wasn't like smooth sailing from the beginning right i've kind of had my ups and downs and but my heart had always been too for the lord do you feel pressured right now to get this right when i say get this right i mean marry the right person and of course make sure you stay married do you feel that pressure um right now all right why you're laughing why are you [Laughter] uh pressure to marry the right person to be honest no um i do believe that there is what i have learned with the lord even in the journey of marriage is to also recognize that there is going to be the the fruit of who my husband should would be is going to be evident um one of the biggest things i think is uh kind of cripples women in in church and faith is the idea that before i get married god needs to tell me the who is this person right and the issue with that is sometimes you don't know if your desire is speaking sometimes you don't know if like what is actually guiding you but i've come to the place of knowing that i'm i'm very confident and i know who god has called me to be i understand the walk that god has called me to and so whoever my spouse is definitely i would still want i would want confirmation from the lord but i believe that he would reflect um to some degree what causes us to be equally yoked i think that an issue is when people say well god said but the person in front of you is abusive the person in front of you that you say god said it don't make sense and you're over here fighting for something that is toxic and it doesn't even have to be toxic to your natural life it could be toxic to your spiritual life and you're saying god said i don't and when i look at the character of god so even if i'm looking at the bible there is when i think about david you know there was a moment where david anointed i mean god anointed david to be king but before david became king in the natural he showed the fruit of someone who was ready to actually take the crowd and so for me i don't feel the pressure because i'm like whoever is going to be put in that position as oh this is like my husband then you i'm not going to empower someone who is not prepared to say i do because that's what happens if someone is saying i do to me then he looks at who i am right now as the person that he believes you you this this looks like what god showed me and so i encourage people don't be don't be so attached to the name of a person don't be attached to what god showed me this person ask the lord to show you the the way of the person the lifestyle of the person the fruits of the person because then you can recognize it when you see it um so for me i really don't feel pressured because i i think i'm just aware of who i am in god and when it makes sense it would make sense and if it doesn't that's fine you know walk away nice nice thank you that was here amen so i'm definitely a little different i absolutely feel pressure to uh but it's not in the bad way so um we talk about pressure in a very bad in a very bad way a lot of times because people feel like you know you don't want to mess up you don't want to make a mistake and i get that especially when you have a relationship with god when you talk to god all of that it's almost like the more you hear god the more pressure it is because you're like god you tell me no all the time what happens when you say yes you know so um it's this feeling it's this feeling of uncertainty a lot of times however with myself personally i've learned that um before the pressure was a lot more so because when you play football when you win the league you think you're supposed to be with a certain woman that looks a certain way then you mature and then you think okay you realize it's not that serious of course you still want a beautiful woman but now you want the balance and then you realize it's hard to find a balance so then it comes to it you get to a certain point but i'm at an area now where i'm getting older um and the pressure is there but it's in a good way because i do very well under pressure and i've realized that the ones that really fight against the pressure of age and life those are ones that actually don't get married and i've actually looked at the trend those that get very lackadaisical and they're like leave me alone they'll be 50 and it's like what happened i've noticed that but the ones that take care of i'm 49 i'm just messing with you i'm good i'm good but the ones that take heed to the parents pressure they take heed to the friends around them just out of love it's absolutely i it's needed sometimes some people need a push and i understand the pressures needed so i'm actually okay with the pressure because if i didn't have the pressure i might be playing if we could be honest so thank god i got pressure you know that's awesome thank you thank you and you just um you know what first i'll say this to both of you thank you guys so much um we're truly appreciative i'm really grateful i think that when i was talking to dozier he was like well you know we should have just come to canada well maybe next year if corvette goes away you guys can find your way up to canada how many people want to see them show up actually live in person um in ottawa we would like to have you guys obviously but thank you so much you guys have been a blessing to us i appreciate you deeply um i can promise you one thing that we would not stop praying for you guys all right that you will always be on our heart as we pray you know for you guys um consistently that but just not that but that you know you would make the lord proud because i see that that's what you really want to do that's what your heart is is to make god proud to make jesus proud and that you will make him proud um so thank you guys so so much we're going to pray out but before we do that i just you know um allow people if you have an offering you want to give you should have some direction as to how to do that um in a little bit maybe in the chat section or something please engage generosity is our way of life so we don't need to preach before we take um any offerings today um specifically um i need to go and unpack everything that i've learned because i learned quite a bit i'm gonna use some of the material and i go into next week now the bar's been set so high so i don't know how i'm gonna i'm gonna keep that um so talking about pressure i feel pressure you guys you guys pray for me uh stephanie and josie pray for me pray for me and then the q a at the end of the month usually um extremely intense i need to start fasting now um towards that if you're new here please make sure you connect there's a couple ways that you can do that it should be in the chat section and if you want to reach out you have any questions please send us an email we'll be happy to connect with you can you church just say big thank you to dozier and stephanie stephanie ek now stephanie ike okay it's stephanie ek um ek exactly stephanie ek um for their time with us today and our prayer for you guys that god will keep you that he will not only keep you but he will strengthen you and that you will go from glory to glory to glory to glory and your light will shine bright and that god would also protect you all right he will shield you he'll go the covering around you guys around your heart especially um in the name of jesus christ we love you guys deeply and i'll have any one of you can volunteer to pray us out of service um and right after that we'll just close with the sermon anyone want to volunteer bring us out stephanie you want to go go has the master close out prayers okay fine so you've been nominated wonderful father in jesus mighty name lord we love you and we adore you father you are awesome and wonderful forgive us of all sin and iniquity wonderful father i pray that every word that was spoken every question asked every everything that was mentioned wonderful father i pray that it will pierce our spirits and we will will take it and carry it in our day in life father i pray that you will move and your will shall be done father i speak your glory into our spirits i pray father that your instruction that was given will give revelation to our life and they'll bless us from years to come father i pray that people will be blessed people be encouraged people will begin to move in celibacy or impurity father i pray relationships that warrant will become i pray marriage it people will make it to marriage and it will be faithful and holy father i pray marriages will not be dry but your glory and your angels will be there while intimacy takes place father i pray that the practicality of your name and your glory will be here as well as the supernatural father we speak your direction your spirit your anointing and your angels into our lives now to move to protect us and father i pray to bless our abstinence our celibacy our mind says father i come against being so holy but instead we'll be pure and focused on who you called us to be and our purpose father i pray we'll not get caught up in a pulpit but we'll get caught up on ministry in our destiny in jesus mighty name we pray amen amen amen and amen fire prayer man i appreciate you guys we love you deep and for the rest of us we're going to close out with worship and catch you guys next week sunday we're going to do this again all month thank you guys so much i appreciate you

Channel: Lighthouse Church Ottawa

Views: 18,442

Keywords: church, lighthousechurch, sunday, service, sermon, stephanie ike, dozie ezemma, christian, ottawa

Id: -qANET4DQkg

Length: 102min 11sec (6131 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 07 2021