Hoedown Compilation - Whose Line Is It Anyway?

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we give the examinations hoedown I went to college I wasn't very smart I'd throw my hands up giving up at the very start every test I take you know your test would I fail but it doesn't matter cuz I am dan quayle I had to take an exam I studied very hard I thought a very very hard things on a card my study study trying to try try all my best and then I went and realized it was a urine test [Applause] I love the exams they are so much fun I love to take the paper and sit down on my bum or I am very smart oh it might sound kind of silly but I ain't pass every test cuz I write don't write there my willy [Applause] I hate examinations it filled me with such fear I get the collywobbles and lots of diarrhea if you are a student don't care about the pain get through your exam by taking lots of cocaine [Applause] remember puberty Steve and here you go with the puberty hoedown when that was a young man I went to my friend's house for tea but he was growing up too fast he was going through puberty [Music] kissing joined in [Music] I like going gray I really really do I really really really really please don't misconstrue Nations but I'm happy with my hair pigmentation [Applause] these are starting to happen to me way below my belt it's a strangest thing that I have ever felt I turned out the lights and I play with my crotch every night when I watch all the girls on Baywatch [Applause] they're a Halloween hoedown take it away Greg I like checker treating I go from door to door my ask for candy asks for sweets and then sometimes they give me lots of rocks and bugs but I do not care cuz I took your treat on drugs oh I'm so glad that Halloween is finally here cuz Halloween's my favorite time of the entire year my dress-up and give all the kids on awful fright I really don't know why I'm not wearing a mask tonight [Applause] last Halloween there was terrible blizzard it was caused by a wizard [Music] [Applause] Halloween can be such a special night it's a chance you get to ride around and scare and fight when people over the door oh boy do they rather that's because every year I dresses five Anderson [Music] vasectomy surgeon and away you go stymie you Steven well I went to my doctors and he said to me what you need is a fasiq to me that I cut you both off or put them in a jar I [Applause] fight fires in Germany they really are the worst I'll now we'll do German in my next verse make liebe dich who speak that material exploding okay jumpin jumpin all that trampoline [Music] some people think it's a really lousy job but I love the fact working around somebody's knob I think that it's a job that really stinks but I save up all the spare parts and I make out couple links [Applause] that doctor went to work today he started right down there he slipped around my tessie's and I run my pubic hair or that job I'm very grateful yes I do get bangs cuz now every time I make love on always shooting blanks I was riding my donkey up with stony pass to the grass let me help me back on that's why I sing this song I like to ride my donkey I ride him all day long he is very very very very very strong [Music] I am a donkey I love the halt the goods I think that's the way every duckie shuts as I am hauling never without fail someone comes and pokes a pin right in my tail I love my fluffy donkey I like to call him five I dress him up in panties he's the best animal alive I'd like to dress him up and lots of frilly clothes and the two of us begin to star in certain video a vice where you go I used to like the booze now you still like the chicken but now I get my kicks going out total again I go out to the desert and find myself a frog and lick it psychedelic back til I'm high has it gone [Applause] Planes Eric knows liquor store there's just some big cactus and not very much more but the agave I tell you gives the juice you put it and let it ferment it really cut you loose [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] and then I cut it off [Music] drinking laksa liquor can go right to your head well one day I drink so much that I woke and I was dead Oh drinking it really takes some nerve but at least I'm dead hey I am well preserved I was in the courtroom to see other day and the jury I began to sway my final speech was going really well when the judge fell asleep [Music] [Applause] I'm a lawyer and I need it to hire an assistant I saw a girl outside and she was awfully persistent she came in and told me all her legal beliefs later on I fell asleep and she went through my briefs [Applause] [Music] lawyer sue for everything it really makes no sense I just got a suit against me because of a potent such a bad sport but luckily they couldn't make it [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I made that big mistake and I stole the car cops pulled me over before I got too far I know I'm getting evicted and go to the pen cuz I'm being represented by Clive Anderson [Applause] [Music] good oh oh I know I should I sometimes get a bit of dirt right between my toy makes me feel just great [Music] [Applause] I really like to fight some nails I really really do but I ever never never buy my own there's one thing I really shouldn't do it's my nails and I love the chui day after day I can't stop what a twist I've chewed off all my fingers now I'm nibbling on my wrist [Applause] [Music] I really like to chew my nails I do it all night true and then when I finished I said to myself you I go and get myself screaming raspberry ripple and after that I begin to suck and swallow my own [Applause] [Music] [Applause] laughs it's very fickle from birth to the tomb [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] my son was born really in a big way [Music] [Music] [Applause] all I really feel is a doctor's hands on my bum he's pulling really hard and I'm afraid here I come I want to stay where I am don't wanna leave that tube hey but since I'm out here give me some of that big old boo boo [Applause] take it away ho down starting with you Jesse I could watch him all night I like watch them when I'm in sight airplanes what screen is too small that's all I don't bother me I've already got one ball I am the person that people want to kill don't really mind to me it's kind of a thrill I'm used to it now to me it's nothing new cuz I'm the guy that comes in and sits in front of you I saw her film the other day it wasn't very good it starts something that looked I paid like a would I looked a little closer I must have been going insane it wasn't a plank of wood at all it was Michael Caine versus bungee jumping in that sort of dangerous sport hoedown take it away Steven I went up the Eiffel Tower just the other day I drew up myself what braces and they sway [Music] [Music] [Applause] the other day my girlfriend said greinke wanna thrill she took me to a bridge at the bottom of the hill she record to my back in our because when she pushed me off [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] I like to jump off bridges it's really lots of fun but I'm in a lot of pain when the day is done I don't have a cord but you never hear me plumber I can still go up and down my penis's Mader [Music] feeding the cat hoedown why don't you take it away for us Greg I'm gonna kitty you know my name is Teddy my master feeds me too much that's why my buddy just let me down he stuck me in the backyard and put me in the ground [Music] I always think the way a master should in fact I feed all the kitties in the neighborhood they look at me kind of strange some are even better I guess they figured out I'm feeding them candy litter I love to feed my cat in I'll feed him from the fridge I'll feed him flies and rats and little tiny niche is the problem is I'm blind how can I side like a mole so sometimes I try to stop the food in the road I got a sad story it really is a pity I hit some bad poison I fed it to my kitty I put it in a bowl I laid it on his plate and now Mikey lost his life he's got another [Music] hey the phone travel hoedown take it away Richard I'm a girl as you can see I love to travel [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'd like to say howdy to everyone right here because I come from America and I'm not from here but if you come to my place I'm sure you'll find it's hot there's drugs and sex and beaches and you might get shot [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] come on or Canada we got Mounties galore pick up people who sleep soundly you'll never hear them store because season plays and things and things and things and things and things [Music] [Applause] every year in England when it starts to rain my wife and I go away on a biggle train when it comes to sex I think that I'm the best but she likes to refer to me as the Orient Express Frank van Frank food we go in a kitchen short-order cook though you may not think it I'm smarter than I look every morning when people come in and they want eggs and ham I don't all I have fun frying up some kitties I think it's kind of witty and I'm sure they won't stick cuz this pan is temper I have fun with fried foods especially when it's really hot I've got all the frat dudes in the world and you have not it's not as much it doesn't sound right people I used all my hot food to burn Jeremy Beadle [Applause] I like to fry a lot of pride on my griddle I give me big steaks I fry them till they're little I know it ain't good for me but I just love it all cuz sometimes when my veins fill up with cholesterol the giving birth hoedown starting with you Greg and all the way down the line I am nine months pregnant I tell you that it hurts every year I pop out a couple of little squirts when I go into the room to have those little drugs [Music] you know failing is one of the major parts of time I'm a little baby I live inside my money in a couple lunchtime I'll come out of her tummy when I'm grown I will run around on rugs but so she doesn't cry I hope she takes a lot of drugs [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] while having a baby should be given coming comes when I had mine I killed my OBGYN hey having a baby it makes me wanna fake cuz nothing's more look at the more beautiful in this big [Music] [Applause] [Music] watching a baby come out can be really neat I pull up a chair and I sit right down at her feet they called the police on me so I'm heading out the door apparently because it she's never seen me before [Music] [Applause] so now did the Gulf hoedown started with Stephen working the way down down to Ryan and take it away Richard when I was a schoolboy my teacher said to me I'm gonna teach it golf this is cool dirty you put the ball on it and swing very hard but make sure you use a club and not a piece of blood [Applause] stunned me [Music] I'm next to Colin Mochrie he really is a chump before we shoot the program he lets me Pat his bum when we go out golfing it really makes me sick cuz he always asked me to grab onto his stick [Music] I love playing golf I played it all the time though the way I play it some think it is a crime my golfing instructor told me it was lots of fun when he stepped in front of me whoops all in one [Applause] when I call golfing we always bet a buck and my friend kisses me he kisses for good luck on the rouse cuz he is just a friend but when he smooches me it makes my butter stand on end [Applause] hairdressers and hairdressing and a hoedown it should be cluttering on your rhymes are not insulting me so wait where you go starting with you Greg I hate haircuts it really is a drag cuz I think that my barber is a mighty hag every time I sit in the chair I just say damn I love cuz she always cuts not here and then I yell out darn to get it hey god I need to save up a few ball to get a nice neat one so I can get that new job but when our winning I came out a little bit clearer I hadn't been to the hairdresser I'd been to the sheets you know I'm not sure of my barber I think he's kind of strange the way he likes to play with my hair he always rearranged I'm not sure about him I don't think he's the kind of guy but I can't complain when he likes to blow me drive [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] okay [Music] chugga chugga chugga chugga chug of a washing machine chugga-chugga chugga-chugga get your clothes real clean you put in a bunch of quarters right there in the slot and when you take the clothes out they haven't finished a red circle they're still bad shirts I'm putting in my dirty [Music] when they little Rifton squeeze that then they're done all your laundry can turn out to be fine just make sure that you have lots and lots of time keep an eye out always look at the clock take it out wise I'm always missing a sock she thinks I'm really keen I think you're to the lunar madness X and the walks you machine and when you can come over and maybe you can try just get yourself a lady and get her in the dryer [Applause] take it away [Music] [Music] it was plenty or reasons to be commander-in-chief to help the people will give social relief to do something [Music] [Applause] [Music] the country's the president's having lots of sex I think we have the best president that I've ever seen the way his sexy voice sounds I think he's really keen a lot of people think he's a cook they think something's amiss of course what do I know I'm just a stewardess [Music] [Applause] and bad breath [Music] [Music] the other day I started feeling quite wheezy suddenly I smelled my boyfriend [Music] [Music] [Applause] my breath really smells bad my feet have a pong I really smell bad it is all wrong it's horrible it's horrible and there is part of me because of my beats thinking seven species are extinct [Applause] what sad that smell so bad a lion on the beach it's so smelly feet and they're within reach I will take a big night off and cut them up just for a lark throwing in the water they're food for a charge face the space truffle hoedown starting with you Greg take it away space travel hoedown oh I'm a tiny Martian I'm green and full of mirth I have one mission only to dominate the earth I'll give you our new leader and she won't take the job he's got no name is Harris ball his name is Bob [Applause] [Music] [Applause] we got a problem Houston I don't have the right stuff I'm gonna go to space now to look for stuff that they make [Music] - our er astronauts and we need information we'd need me to have some sex upon the old space station we did it and wouldn't you know we got into a bad fight hey is it my fault that I'm faster than the speed of light might fly around space ball around the clock it's my job cuz my name is dr. Spock sometimes I get bored on a three-year tour but I make it easier by sleeping with our whore I love free twinning that Tina way Richard starting with oh I love the lottery it makes me so excited and if I were to win it I'm sure I beat a lot but every time I go to the shop it is just a drag I'll see the shopkeeper and I shagged I just wanna marry my lucky number six having won the lottery I'm gonna pick up loads of chicks I gotta take your mouth and take it for dining and then I have fun with them all can't wait to see the smile on their face when they see my bonus ball [Applause] if I win the lottery I'd be one happy clown cuz then I would hire someone to do this hoedown what I see is it funny and your pets don't worry cuz Bryan's come in with bunny he's net I hope to win the lottery with a lot of luck would I go crazy I'd probably even change it all I'd keep my same old life sure I'd go to the whorehouse and maybe check out my wife [Applause] who down take it away Greg Tory politicians they really are a drag bumming common people [Music] proud so next election day I do not really care the feel-good factors coming soon its name is Tony Blair [Applause] politics is very strange and confuses me a lot their stories liberals Whigs and others put me on the spot they do things very strange [Music] [Applause] if power can lose really large seems everyone wants to really be in charge people who want power will do anything on a dare is a matter of fact that's why I ripped out all his hair [Music] Oh down take it away you're Richard [Music] [Applause] [Music] when we made love she proved to be a bit of a Squealer I'm afraid of women especially at night they always come towards me they give me such a [Music] [Applause] my girlfriend's kind of special she's one-of-a-kind down in Soho is where I did five when I put my mouth on her she really starts to blubber I guess that's what you get from a girl made of rubber [Music] that comes to mind something with you Greg working way down to run and I know you love doing these particular way Greg Hayek Pinay German my name is helmut kohl and you know kids i really really like to rock and roll you go to America it's where I get my kicks cuz President Clinton knows all the easy chicks [Applause] welcome to world leaders my name is David Frost I'm green you world leaders no matter what the cost mama solar world leader I'm a pleasant Carter fella but Ivan ever nicer Clark my name's Nelson much [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm a world leader I hate democracy because you know I'm a dictator you see I'm gonna make people march to and fro and back the best thing about being dictator is I look good in black [Applause] [Music] once I ruled Israel with the 9 pan I was the best leader in all of the land sure I was rich but no one lived in fear I've got silver in my pocket and gold in my hair hoedown about your worst nightmare might even be a hoedown I suppose but there ain't you hoedown about your worst nightmares and take it away Stephen when I go to sleep I've nightmares all the time I have this weird dream I'm covered in lime and the Giants me really really hard I have lots of nightmares and I try to be brave I'm covered in Vaseline with my mom in a cave in the morning I wake up from a chance and then there in my bed is calling in my pants [Applause] [Music] every night I go to sleep I go to sleep each night horrible dream that gives me quite a fright I kind of fall in that big cotton candy I won I need it eaten when I wake up I find my pillows gone [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] when I go to sleep at night you know my biggest fear that walking are around my room is some sort of creature [Laughter] when I go to sleep I'm so afraid of the dark then one night I turned on the lights just for a lark ah right before me is a really ugly free chair then I realize that I'm looking in the mirror [Applause] [Music] freaking her down [Music] I love to watch the tummy I like to watch cricket but looks really smelly [Music] room service [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I hate watching cricket how do they do that today it seems to run and run and run it goes on for 50 days it takes so long it takes too long it really is a crime at that time it takes to play cricket I can make love 455 times [Music] I'm going to the cricket match with the pretty girdle I really don't like the game but hey let's give it a whirl I sit there and make fun it until she grillings over and grabs my sticky wicket [Music] involving sculpting Western hoedown take away if further hobbies leave you in the lurch you can always break out your chisel and carve yourself a perch a truck you can carve a marble or a granite just go ahead and have at it you may spend a couple hours cleaning off the sediment from that age-old falling pediment but once you have done it you will notice with these that it's a one of them Grecian trees well you know carving is lots of fun it's cheaper to buy the rocks about a ton I like it when a carving when I'm alone but I find it's a lot easier when I am stoned everybody's [Music] choose all your mom oh shit oh it's right down when you're sculpting you won't where you won't be round that's all I can say [Applause] [Music] the marital problems ho-dong starting with Josie working way down the line - Ron where you go [Music] we [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] music insects are very similar to me but just go make them whatever I do or if I try to I found the best way to fake them I've been to that animal shop I've been in every branch there anyway I can really get it office with Richard branch [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I'm a great blue whale and I live under seas I'm having problems with my wife and me she always talks about old boyfriends it really makes me sick well how the hell could I compare to a guy named Moby Dick [Applause] [Music] I live in the u.s. married a girl from the south who she's always screaming got a really big old mouth she comes out of swinging a screamin and a fussing I guess that's what you get when you marry your sisters brothers cousins [Applause] Steve reading of the will hoedown when my father passed away we had to read the will I didn't turn up cuz I was feeling him in the post Center three million quid [Music] [Applause] my dad my brother passed away last week I guess that's kinda sad because he's the best brother that I have ever had but he'll always be with me because we made a pact I'll put my head right up here men start up the toilets [Applause] [Music] my mother died the other day I hit her way the cocks I hope that in the will she would leave me lots of - but when I read the well I found that bad I was not rich she just left me her knickers what a stupid bitch [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm starting with my croissants Ryan with Richard whereas with mom they feel so nice and cool I think pasta is religious in fact I think it's holy I cover myself in marinara and pads of ravioli I sometimes clean out dente with using it like floss and sometimes I stirred in my pants to make the special sauce wearing very very tight [Music] circulation [Music] [Applause] when I go out clubbing my pants are mighty tight sometimes it gets me in many many fights everybody looks at me they don't you son of a gun but I'm not actually wearing an D they're just painted [Music] [Applause] fucking hoedown starting with You JC moving along alive [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] in the country on the pony I'm very friendly with the critter and say hello I'm Tony there's something nasty in the way it's not a pony to be in is mr. Edison's toupee [Applause] Christmas hoedown please Steve the clown [Music] my Christmas [Music] [Music] I really love Christmas it's better than the rest when it comes to holidays you know it is the best I like to celebrate I guess I know how it goes that's what I prefer to sleep with a reindeer with the red-nosed I like father Christmas you know he's hell of a man I tried to see him once a year or something as I can when he comes I do all the locks and he comes down the chimney and he fills up my socks starting with you Greg a Western hoedown out on the Prairie it's real dry we don't know why we wait for it to rain and so we can take a dive we put on eye masks to put on our tanks and dive right into the dirt and then we hit our heads on a rock damn it really hurts I love all the bees all the Sharky's - when I see you I can come towards me I stripped like you out of all the friends down there hey don't you know there's a friend of mine the very popular Duncan Stowe [Music] I will skew the god boy I'm down four pounds an hour - good luck boys but when I'm be better really got no pairs until I turn real you cuz I got nowhere [Applause] we're driving motorways you know water routes take away [Music] when I came to England I met me a man he was shining bald his name was Clive Anderson [Music] I said where's the freeway he said no you silly twat it's called a motorway [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I use the motorway each and every day it really turns a lot like work it really is not playing I got hit badly and why do you suppose I got rear-ended by a guy picking his nose [Music] driving home from work can be lots of fun driving down my way when your work is done I love to watch the bugs as they splat against my glass the lesson to grow through their mind is their big bad I like the sound of motorways when things go splat I look out my car window and I've run over a cat I really hate the worst thing in my life is the stupid bastard who designed the m24 [Applause] stood up hoedown starting Caroline moving on to Tony take it away Richard last night I waited I waited all along I waited for my boyfriend sang a little song where in the hell are you darling dear but he didn't turn up so I'm still waiting here [Applause] oh I met a girl I really really liked I hope that she come over but she wouldn't can you believe it [Applause] [Music] when it comes to girls I seem to have some kind of hex I can never get what I want then that is sex just a run around and scream and I rant I guess I should just pay money like my friend you [Applause] I waited in the restaurant I waited just all night I turned so much whiskey I began to get quite tight and then no one turned up at the end and I thought oh no and then I kissed a Labrador and then I [Music] [Applause] very sexy sex hoedown take it away D Greg I'm a Randy bugger I really get around I like to have a shag with everyone in town I have lots of bird I'm as happy as can be and that's good my name is Tony Slattery [Applause] I'm making love I do it every day my girlfriend's a contortionist redoing every way it's really quite remarkable the ways that she can bend he also ate his face off [Music] a man in the country there's really not much to do I love to grab anything and have a real good screw I guess it's really bad I guess it's kind of sad but my girlfriend looks at me and says hey you're not bad little kinky my patio made of fur I'd like to say anything [Music] [Applause] [Music] that's all folks you

Info

Channel: ShogunSanchez O__o

Views: 22,613

Rating: 4.7066665 out of 5

Keywords: Hoedown, whose line is it anyway, irish drinking song, drew carey, wayne brady, ryan stiles, Aisha Tyler, Colin Mochrie, Denny Siegel, Kathy Greenwood, Jeff Davis, Patrick Bristow, Stephen Colbert, Kathy Kinney, Ian Gomez, David Hasselhoff, Florence Henderson, Jerry Springer, Joanie, Richard Simmons, Katie Harman, Jayne Trcka, Laura Hall

Id: 9gM2sx-XUls

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 58min 54sec (3534 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 20 2018

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