Hilarious Groom - Gay Wedding Speech

right it's me now [Applause] I'm just gonna smarten myself up right wedding speech top secret do not read okay um wow okay looking at you all that's amazing um thank you all for being here today and I think firstly thank you to my parents for hosting us here [Applause] and thank you to Jose's family for turning up on time [Music] yeah well actually they didn't um so before we begin are you with me yeah okay all right I'm with you so I guess what you're all thinking what is he going to say what's he going to talk about and to be honest I'm asking myself the same thing no I'm joking I do have a speech here and when I was writing it 10 minutes ago all I could think was I've only got 10 minutes to go no no no I'm joking I'm joking um how are the Acoustics at the back who's that now I was trying to think of a title for this speech but a hundred reasons why Jose is the luckiest man in the world didn't quite have the right ring to it um this is going to be an interactive speech so can I ask everyone to sit down stand up yep okay and sit down thank you excellent right I've got your attention um now I'll be honest I wasn't that nervous about my speech today um in fact I spent as has been mentioned much of my time at school on the stage and I played all the greats uh Fantastic Mr Fox Danny zuku and I quote the school newspaper said he is a legend his name should be up in lights he really is better than Judy Dench much much better but sadly the sage didn't have its final call for me and life had other plans and I decided to go and study food science in Nottingham and that's where I met Joe for which I'm forever grateful so I'm going to talk a bit about our our history so for those of you that know me well or not so well I'm not the easiest character to get along with or live with and so throughout my speech I'll refer to my new husband as refer to my new husband as Saint Joe or San Jose for quite frankly having the patience of a saint put up with me for 10 years and the truth is that Joe and I have had uh some Joe and I are opposites in nearly every way and I believe that is what makes us so perfect um as scientists we've done several tests and it's true that Joe and I are genuinely opposites and I think that's our strength we push each other we challenge each other and support each other to be the best version of ourselves and I know that there's a lot of things that I do that annoy him not locking the door when I come in after work not clearing up after myself and he always says I never listen or something like that [Laughter] we do curiosity for life and a hunger to learn about the world and everything it has to offer and I've Loved saying Jay from the moment I saw him at the time there was something quite sophisticated about him he wore a jackass and Blue Suede Shoes whilst I owned one pair of jeans and two pairs of the same pumps from Topman I had no chest hair and he had a beard looking about 11 at the time I thought he was 31. he can grow a beard he'll do and it wasn't until two months into University that we met properly on a night out by the bus stop and there was definitely a chemistry in the air and as they say one thing led to the other and looking back we spent most of the first few weeks in High Spirits as all we seemed to drink was Jack Daniels and schnapps and in the early days we spent time learning about each other not that there was much to learn to be honest at 18. if we'd have released a biography at this point it would have been more of a pamphlet but we soon bonded over our love of traveling and before we were even officially boyfriends we had booked a trip to ratsworth hands up if you've been to rotswaff I think that says it all our flights were 14 pounds return our hotel for three nights was 40 pounds and we turned off and it was minus 20 degrees Celsius with half a curtain over the enormous window in the hotel and we spent most of the first night a week listening to the escapades of a rather expressive woman as she reverberated down the pipe that was in the corner of our room laughs and by lunchtime the next day we had discovered everything that rotsworth had to offer which included the train station which is one of the top seven attractions because it looks like a sand castle as we headed to the German border on a train sweating the whole time we didn't have our passports we gazed into each other's eyes during that first trip we made friends with the local strippers got featured in a Polish magazine and ate the best sandwich in the world this could be fun I thought so in a blizzard in front of the Pope in a sorry a statue of the Pape not the actual pave um in in a blizzard in front of the Statue of the paper I asked Jay to be my official boyfriend and of course he said yes since then we've continued to travel the world and we've been lucky enough to gauge some amazing places May many interesting characters along the way as well as make some lifelong friends and I often say you cannot travel yourself interesting but it's really nice to have someone to try with whilst you do so when Joe and I met he suffered from terrible stomach problems IBS lactose intolerance and our early idea of a fun day out was to go to see Joe's gynecologist sorry gastroenterologist and I remember the first time I genuinely fell in love with Saint Jay I had met Joe's parents John and Marie only a few weeks before they'd come up to Nottingham the night before Joe was due to gay for an exploratory now I've learned with Jay's family there really is nothing like an excuse to get the family together [Applause] clearing himself out I sat with John and Marie in the student kitchen eating a delicious pork inside a sauce with mashed potato and the next day we headed for Jay's exploratory and we wished him all well and waved him off as we sat anxiously in the waiting room and I remember it was a beautiful Hospital in Nottingham so clean and modern after a while the nurse came out the head matron Samuel James higginson she boomed and I leapt up and I followed her in and there was Joe bleary eyes on the bed and I remember hugging him and thinking this is what love is and he had asked for me and not his mother we'd only been together four months however there was a small detail that the woman had gone off the paperwork from the last visit and not who it asked for that that's just details so looking to the future I just like to quote my grandmother's favorite author George Eliot what greater thing is there for two human Souls than to feel that they are joined to strengthen each other to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories and for me that sums up what Jay and I have we know each other on so many levels and would be uncomfortable in each other's company we share the same Ambitions and hope in life the truth is we never see worrying about what that we have made the wrong choice and I think that's the curse of life to think about what might have been but I know with this we are making the right choice and to choose a life well lived as I look to the future I think about how I have dreamed of us as a family as a happy one seeing the world eating good food and embracing all that life has to offer and I know that The Best Is Yet To Come and it's already been bloody fantastic so I can't wait to see what's next I think just [Applause] just for a moment I'd just like to reflect I think the truth is that I never thought I would get married um and I don't like to bang on about being gay but growing up this wasn't even an option for us and my heart does fill with joy that we can all be sat here today with love and positivity in the room about two chaps getting married [Applause] [Music] that's the soppy bit over um right it may have passed a number of You by but you may have noticed that Joe or Jose has Spanish blood coursing through his veins and and when I met Joe he taught me a beautiful phrase beer and that means you're a part of me a part of me that I could never live without and I hope and pray that I never have to thank you for teaching me that phrase [Applause] [Music] now you will see from the setup in the room that my family tree is not Laden with fruit [Applause] and count them on one hand um earlier um and Jay's family and my family are fairly different um but I'm extremely grateful for the way that his family have embraced me and made me feel welcome from day one quite literally day one when I met you all on one day before we were even getting out [Applause] um so I think now on to the thanks if I can so um some special people in my life firstly thank you to my parents again for having us here today and to my dad for all your effort for the garden [Applause] you you have both given me every chance in life and I hope I make you proud you've both always taught me to reach for the Styles Climb Every Mountain higher follow my heart's desire so that my dreams can all come true at the same time I am sorry for being such a disappointment oh wait um when it comes to sport I've never lived up to your expectations of watching a grain a group of grain men kick a ball around a field and in reality I will always choose boiling my own head over watching a game of footy you're more of me than I would like to admit your drive your zest for life and your competition of competitiveness are definitely part of me I hope I have your kindness and your compassion and your ability to put others fast which never ceases to amaze me taught me many things in life like not to swap money with a stranger on the streets of Prague being left with 10 pence worth of an unknown currency to Debbie and Neil [Applause] to a very special lady in my life to my nadre which is my grandma's nickname she is my most special lady who has always shown me such unconditional love thank you for always being there with your amazing Saturday m s lunches to my nadre [Applause] sorry um there is one special person who can't be with us this evening and that is my amazing Grandma who inspired me and everyone she met when Joe first met her he was terrified of her for the first 18 months but she soon grew to love Joe often describing him as a good mate but as things got serious she even told her friends that we were flatmates [Laughter] that we were both Pratt we were both practicing homeopaths or something like that to my grandma [Applause] foreign to my cousins especially Amy who has been by my side from the very beginning whenever we're together I feel right at home and these heady days of working with boots together will always make me laugh ing away from my family to frankly my second family which were my bridesmaids starting with my best friend Lizzy you really are my second soul mate in this life Lizzy I've loved you from the moment we met and I genuinely think we are stuck with each other for life I attract The Crazies when I'm with Joe but that is nothing compared to when I'm with you the crack addicts in New York definitely Springs to mind to Rose my creative genius who always sees the best in everything and everyone to Hannah for keeping us organized and taken care of and to safely for your endless positivity beautiful smile and your ring making abilities [Applause] you all look absolutely amazing and I'm so so proud of each and every one of you you are amazing and I don't know where I'd be without you I love you all so much you do you don't realize um to John Marie Keely and Emilio I love you all so much you have stuck with me through all the turbulence even when I was a complete nutcase and also embarrassed you on too many occasions thank you for introducing me to the joys of bingo Caravan parks and all-inclusive hotels to Grace Elliot and Faye their safety and numbers so let's stick together [Applause] to our wedding planner in Chief Sally foden laughs the Marquee today looking as stunning as it does is all thanks to Sally and it has made 15 nearly 20 years of Friendship with Rosie worth it say thank you Sally and also to Eleanor and Neil for their generosity and love over the years but also for giving you the seats to sit on because you would have been sat on the floor and thank you all for coming as well it wouldn't have been the same without you but it would have been cheaper laughs [Applause] and lastly to Jay pose or whatever your bloody name is I I am blessed that you have come into my life to quote your favorite film you saved me in every way a person can be saved to be in the presence of Saint Joe is to have your soul soothed your greatest gift is your compassion for others you are a kind man with a good heart and I will love you forever you're my soul mate I love you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] ready for it now [Laughter] [Music]

Channel: SJ Higginson

Views: 194,912

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Id: _Uka49MiSGI

Length: 20min 21sec (1221 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 14 2022