[Music] The person I'm touching right now, you realize that you are a compulsive liar. Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. Matter of fact it's a lie from second to second. You could have told me something and I'll ask you the same question. And it's a completely new lie. You are so full of shit and you can do, that you can do things better than anybody else can not only you a liar. You're the world's biggest briber. [Music] And your name? Stone Cold Steve Austin. Stone Cold Steve Austin, Good to have you here. Nice to meet you. Who came with stone cold tonight make some noise. Stone cold! I see! I see! You're married? Used to be. Okay! [Applause] Got kids? Yeah! How many? 12. Okay! All right! It's a little awkward ahead, so I'm in a relationship. So do I. Looks, are you? Yes! All right!
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Let's see. It looks like you're married. Yeah! Okay! All right! Great! Excellent! Haley! Okay! Haley! All right! Okay! Okay! Careful! I wouldn't pull too hard on that finger at Taco Bell for dinner. All right! Exit. Okay! Who came with Haley tonight make some noise? Oh right! Here! Who'd you bring with you? Friend. Friend, friends! Is it a friend that you're married to? Yes! Yeah! All right! Yeah! What's your friend's name? Steve. Oh Steve! Is this your wife? Yeah! It is! All right! It is Mary. So Haley, Joe, Ari, Brad, Candice, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Tom, Steve, Louis, Louis, Louis, Justin, and last but not least Catherine. Its all right! Eva have them all. We got everybody. Perfect! How about giving your friends a great big round of applause. These people right here sharing their personalities with you. Here we go. Back up! Up! back up! Up! back of my bitch, riverdancing time! Here we go! [Applause] oh wow! The more you clap the faster Steve will go! Hey! [Music] Hey! Go! One, two, and three. Well, it hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Whoa! You guys just come on back. Have a seat there, have a seat there. Look, I'm Lewis! Lewis, I would say I was doing a show. You're totally interrupting. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Okay! That's okay! We take things very seriously here. You wouldn't go to Blue Man Group and do that shit. would you know it's the marks of our comedy of no-shows. We don't do it here either. Okay! All right! You're Irish? You Irish by chance? No! What are you? What are you? Okay. Not even a little bit of that black Irish everyone's talking about? No. No, I don't know who's talking about that but somebody. Okay. I'm blacker. You're blacker. I didn't black you longer. Have no idea? Yeah! It's crazy. All right! They fly on the ground check it out. It's, it's called sleep dust. If you get any on. You fall into a deep deep sleep. Starting over here. You ever seen sleep dust before. I-- I have some what do you-- what do you use? If I use it, I use it for for hypnosis show but people think what do you use it for? I Sparkle my shoes with it doesn't work on me. Where do you buy yours? Where do you buy yours? from China. From China directly. Yesterday. Before you got married to Haley? Yeah! Yeah! Well sleep doesn't good thing. I didn't put on his shoes Louis. Yep! What do you do sir? I'm a hypnotist scout and I invented Rogaine hypnotist out what is the meaning. I look-- I look for talent you're coming. You going watch hypnotist shows and see if they're any good. That's right. What do you think of this one? Still looking It's riverdancing time! Back them up! Back them up! Back them up! [Applause] One, two, and three or whoa this you guys. Come on back and have a seat. Come on back have a seat. I was wondering what you thought of Lewis's dancing. Oh! I could do way better. Oh! Is that right? Let's see. [Applause] [Music] What's that all about? I have no idea. I [Applause] don't know you. You don't know. All right! Okay! I'm sure you guys a trigger man working. I'm gonna need to borrow a belt. Someone got a belt? Think of! All right! We'll use our ease belt. You guys! Go ahead and stand up! Go and stand up! Everybody go ahead and stand up! All right! we'll use your belt next to... Thanks you so much! I can lose your pants are. Yeah! You know this is not an illusion. It's real magic like wizardry. Gather round semicircle like a Halfmoon. Like an arch, like a rainbow not too close. I have arachnophobia. Real magic! Right before your very eyes! Did you magic? I do. Totally magic witch! What's your best trick? Okay. [Music] Very venomous. [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm gonna make it what the mate is that. What's going on? Over here Jesus! Better pull it almost get the snake eggs. All right! Okay! You guys can pet the snake. Be very careful! Do not startle it. I'm a trained professional. I'm gonna use you for this demonstration. Perfect! Right here! Right here! Stand right there! Thanks! Arms down by your sides, chin up, face the front. Whatever you do don't move. Have a look at the fangs on this thing. off he comes just go turn him back to a belt. Back to a belt. Back to the... That was amazing! That was amazing! Yes it was! Next up. Lewis! Put your hands together for Lewis! [Applause] Come on back Luis and so Stone Cold! Steve sometimes Luis! [Music]
