Helen Fisher: Why Do Fools Fall in Love?

fora tv' the world is thinking but why do you fall in love with one person rather than another this is what match.com the internet dating site came and asked me almost five years ago and since then and at the time I said I don't know psychologists know that we tend to fall in love with somebody from the same socio-economic background same general level of intelligence same general level of good looks a similar level of education and religious and social values your childhood plays a role but nobody knows how timing plays a role but you can walk into a room and everybody is from your background and same general level of intelligence and good looks and you don't fall in love with all of them so I began to think maybe basic body chemistry plays a role maybe we're naturally pulled towards some people rather than others so I began to look through all of the genetic data they data on neurotransmitters the data on hormones and to see if there were some chemicals in the brain associated with personality traits that drove you to be towards some people rather than others now there's a lot of chemicals in the brain but most of them keep the eyes blinking or the heart beating instead of there's very few that are associated with personality traits and those few are these four brain systems the norepinephrine dopamine system the serotonin system the testosterone system and the estrogen and the oxytocin system so what I did is I created a questionnaire to see to what degree you express the traits associated with these four chemical systems and then eight million people have taken the questionnaire I watched an in a group of twenty eight thousand people who was naturally drawn to whom so I'm gonna go through the very broad personality styles we're all a combination of all of them these are brain systems not cubbyholes but we did have personalities we express some more than others and then I want to talk about who's drawn to WHO and how I feel this can be used in the business community the dopamine norepinephrine system I looked at 40,000 people in this system if you tend to be very expressive of these two chemical systems I call them the Explorer bad term but it's the best I had at the time they're not only seeking risk-taking energetic spontaneous impulsive optimistic sexual curious they've got the most interests highly creative if you give somebody l dopa for Parkinson's creativity tends to go up often very liberal open-minded there's a downside to every personality type they tend to be more manic unpredictable reckless and unreflecting these people look out not in I did a study of 178 thousand people to see what words these people used Adventure top word used by this high dopamine type spontaneity energy new fun traveling passion active outgoing I think Obama is a perfectly wonderful example of that he even moves like a high dopamine person high dopamine person moves with the sense of style which he does and they also have quite a bit of a facial expression which he has highly optimistic man there's a humor magazine in the United States called the onion when the day he won the election it read black man given worst job in the world and indeed he got it and still has it serotonin I called him the Builder it's a bad term had I read my Plato at the time I would have called them the Guardian these are the pillars of society the genetics of the serotonin system are associated with being conventional traditional cautious they're not scared but they're cautious calm social very managerial these are the middle managers often of the world orderly persistent details they're like the details don't give them the big theory they like the details loyal conscientious they respect authority I like to follow the rules they tend to be more religious and they're very good with numbers about side of them they tend to be more stubborn close-minded controlling etc the what top word these people uses family morals respect loyal trust trust where they use that one twice and values and Gordon Brown of course these people haven't taken my questionnaire but just by watching what they say reading with the Economist and other magazines say about them this is from the Economist that he's a control freak very detail-oriented very much of the networking man religious frugal PhD in history I think that actually does say something about the the details these historians do like the details like Colin Powell's another very good example the fourth the third type is the high testosterone type I call them the director the Plato call them the rational that's a better term for it in a study of forty thousand people analytical logical strategic very strategic direct decisive tough minded very good at what scientists call rule-based systems everything from computers engineering music is a very structured thing skeptical rank oriented you inject testosterone in a monkey and it all fight for rank emotionally contained these are the people that Davos who don't move their face they move the mouth but none of the face and the fingers of course with the BlackBerry highly self disciplined and emotionally contained poorer verbal skills and poor view people's skills tend to be aloof and more aggressive the words they use indolent a lot of different kinds of intelligence out there but this is the word they use debate geek nerd ambitious driven politics challenge they gotta have it be real they're the least religious of the group Sarkozy I'm sorry there's some people in the audience who know much better than I do direct blunt tough minded and I think coursework combination of all of them very much of the Explorer too and it was very interesting after the g20 met in and he called Obama week and the director hits you in the face the Explorer stabs you in the back and is much more nuanced I think the these two men come from very different biological personality styles and simply didn't understand each other Hillary Clinton I think is a very good example of a woman who's a high testosterone type I don't know if you were watching CNN recently and when she was in Haiti not only did she she showed almost no facial expression while she was with with bodies and all around her very much of the high testosterone the Chinese were Spanish to tell how blunt she was fourth type estrogen and oxytocin these people see the big picture imaginative fine linguistic skills very fine people skills intuitive it's called theory of mind trusting nurturing emotionally expressive egalitarian idealistic downside of it is indecisive these people live in a world of it depends well it depends we could do this we could do that it depends they see all these possibilities more unforgiving gullible effusive etc the top word they use is passion in this study 178,000 real heart kind sensitive these are the big readers of the world sweet random the other three types are not big on random it's one of their top ten words and an empathy and I think Bill Clinton's a very good example language skills a whole world knows he can't stop talking real people skills and glad our government sent him into North Korea to get those girls out and and not his wife very emotionally expressive cried when Hillary gave her speech at the Democratic convention and I don't know about the rest of the world but in America is well-known for the statement I feel your pain probably does have more mirror neurons in his mind and probably does feel some of your pain and he's a high on testosterone you've me high on testosterone and estrogen I own one fire dead but he's very much and he's got even got the the baby face of the of the highest region type of person I think Charles Darwin was another supremely fine negotiators synthesized all of science at the time and I think that Klaus Schwab is the world's finest negotiator Dacey's the enormous picture in all the relationships and has tremendous compassion for humankind on earth so I've got you take my questionnaire and you are given a pie chart we're all a combination of all of them of course and and then I was able to study a lot of other things about although many of the habits of these people but match.com wanted to know they didn't really care who you are they are interested in why you fall in love with one person rather than another so I watched in 28,000 people who's drawn at home female explorer goes for the male explorer male explorer goes for the female explorer female builder the traditional type wants traditional male builder traditional wants traditional in these two cases similarity attracts female director hillary clinton goes for the male negotiator the opposite male director goes for the female negotiator they're opposite female negotiator goes for the male director and the male negotiator for the female director that's Bill Clinton and Hillary in this case opposites attract

Channel: FORA.tv

Views: 48,985

Rating: 4.5882354 out of 5

Keywords: love, dating, relationships, personality, types, psychology, finding, mate, partner, emotional, type, category, compatibility, compatible, feelings, men, women, male, female, bill, hillary, clinton, sarkozy, fora.tv, foratv, fora, tv, helen, fisher, DLD

Id: nyEgWRwiV6k

Length: 10min 44sec (644 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 23 2010