Heath Calls Out Zane For His Pills - UNFILTERED #59

wow these are hot oh my god sorry the sweaters yeah we're we're trying to be festive on this episode because you know we're getting closer to you know christmas and the holidays and hanukkah and kwanzaa so we wanted to you know look our best in these very hot wool thick outfits yeah it is right i feel like i could see zayn like running down the stairs on christmas yeah getting this present i look like i have a poopy like yeah so you know and it's hot in here like i have a you can unzip it they've seen it but then i'll just it won't look good then oh yeah that looks all right okay beauty's painting yeah it works it's a really good sweater ho-ho-ho anybody have a joke for the intro i'm not ready meltdown you're having a zane melbourne is it sweaty i think i'm just hot and uncomfortable i think it's just why didn't you change it yeah yeah i don't know why you wore that it's just early i feel like i'm wearing the [ __ ] eyelash sweater that spongebob put on this onesie makes me look like i have a bony yeah it's definitely different in the waist department you go all the way going can we play a quick game real quick what does zane have prepared what do you got mariah what uh what are the lyrics to meghan the stallion's last song body crazy i can't even make something else she was humming it for the past like 30 minutes so that's the crazy one big titties little waist body crazy one in me what is it body crazy curvy waist body crazy what what happened to vegas body crazy hip crazy the titties curvy wavy big titties lil waste it's body crazy birdie wait what is it my christmas my christmas list my wish list for santa play cool naughty i saw that was on amazon prime the other day i've been watching a lot of movies lately everything is on amazon prime i didn't i've never seen white chicks oh what get the [ __ ] off okay we're ending this episode let's go to them i know i know i know i've never brought it up because i knew that this would be the reaction i know i've never seen it such a you would love it it's a classic we gotta watch it with him i know i've seen clips i've seen bits and pieces i know that when she takes the bag she's like it's prada like that's all i know you're you're gonna quote that movie for the next one oh my i'm just really excited for you i know it's as quotable as mean girls yes i would say more well i mean i don't quote me and girls i just know it's a very quotable movie right mean girls is like number one quotable movie yeah it's a big one yeah oh my god i'm so excited i know i would love it that's what we're doing because i was gonna watch it the other day but then it was one of those ones you had to rent and i was like and it's hooked up to my amazon prime account you don't want to spend my money i didn't want to mooch oh baby it's okay my roommates do it all the time [Laughter] every night is like oh i bought the notebook i bought the notebook all right david's amazon account is hooked up hooked up to matt king's moms yes so for the past like for the past year they're they kept renting movies and that king's mom was like honey i have a 5 dollar amazon bill because all he doesn't watch movies that's so funny and they you know they put [ __ ] on all the time without just without second guessing that'd be a good christmas gift to matt's mom like if he just wrote her a check for every penny that he ordered for the movies it's just an amazon prime gift card okay can we roll the intro yeah let's get [ __ ] let's get this [ __ ] kicked off [ __ ] oh okay he's gonna cause a promotion plug it in baby it's coffee talk baby welcome back to zane heath and filter that's heath that's zayn we got kenny and mariah that's mariah they were gonna do it sorry do it again do it again it's fine no it's fine it's fine it's tradition to cut us off anyway that's easy but i'm zane no mara kenny present i'm todd hey sharks [ __ ] that was good all right well i think i'm having a heart attack are you are you okay i don't think so why what's going on he goes ugh being the mogul of a coffee company is just too much a lot of pressure on my back being a ceo if you ever want to talk to if you ever want to talk to do it into the mic so because there's somebody listening right now that will probably know what's wrong i was gonna say everyone in the comments will have some sort of medical recommendation for you i'm sure sharp pains in the chest right in my heart i've been having pretty sharp pains in my chest too we also haven't eaten in a week or showered or slept so that could possibly be it yeah it's been a a pretty hectic week yeah to say the least so if you guys didn't watch the last episode or any of our so if you guys didn't watch kylie jenner's story or if you got it or if you don't follow us on anything we can we'll invite it to our pity party we finally launched our coffee that we've been working so hard on for two years um it's called cromoda coffee we launched it on december 8th which is a tuesday it's been out for about four days which was a tuesday and he he did see our tits on a tuesday bodybuilding crazy um it was so [ __ ] exciting we sold out on the first day in like seven hours it's like completely sold out we were not able to do we were expecting like 100 100 uh units it's crazy because our our manager likes to hype us up like guys this is zayn and heath we're talking about you don't understand you guys are like cut the camera like we we did not expect this to happen so we were absolutely blown away by how much you guys wanted to try our coffee and we're really excited and thank you to everybody who placed an order got it in the first wave and also pre-ordered um hopefully you guys are getting that soon i've seen a couple people that have already gotten i swear to god i swear to god we got we got i got i saw a tweet like hours after the launch saying yeah or not hour sorry it was the next morning we launched got my coffee i was like wait how did you get your coffee i heard that yeah so um i thought it was a friend we're based in san diego where we're shipping from so the person that got it first was actually in huntington so it was right there that's why it was so quick still pretty quick that's how we do it baby customer service we're running out to everybody just like we did with all the with all of our friends out here i i will say i am excited for a lot of the other stuff that's going to be coming out that zayn and i have been working on yeah it's just gonna take a little bit of time it's not gonna be two years um it is coming quick we're literally working on it right now so the next big wave of release uh of coffee goods is gonna be pretty freaking cool yeah we didn't think we'd have to work on it this quick after the first but we do now because we thought we would still be selling the first first batch right now the king batch very good we'll i'll hit him up we could do something with him but first batch king batch you know you know him they'll get it they'll know what i mean pre-orders are still out so if you guys want coffee you can still pre-order it and get it uh was it after december 30. uh each flavor is going to be different um so the k-cups i believe are january 12th if i'm not mistaken and then the bag is gonna be december 31st ships out okay cool perfect i would say hands down the most stressful tiring scariest time of my life but also the most rewarding rewarding and happiest i've ever been yeah because we were doing all this not knowing what the outcome was going to be because again like mariah said we had we we didn't sleep for four days we didn't eat for four days we didn't i don't even think i drank for four days no stuff yeah he didn't i'm alcohol not like water right no even water yeah i didn't drink anything we didn't stop at all we were non-stop it was crazy there was there was band-aids on all my fingers oh my god the band-aids were falling in the box yeah zane was bleeding our hands were we had we had to throw a box away because there was blood in the crinkle cup paper the white ones we're like okay so you guys might get some blood in your packages but it's okay it's it's same blood blood sweat and tears exactly yeah a lot yeah and again thank you thank you guys so much for supporting us we we cannot believe how many again how many of you guys were waiting for this and it's so exciting and it it makes us want to work harder on this and make sure we deliver the best product and the best packaging and everything because we will get better this is just the start we will get better promoting is going to be the biggest coffee now yeah i'm telling you right now because we realized like after the after the launch that's when we're like oh we need to make this a lot better i'm excited there's a lot we're doing yeah hey no they're good enough enough for the promoter that's it done all right let's jump right into the podcast here we go what do we got mariah and heath when you guys came to the back room which i had been hiding out in for the past like four days of you guys getting everything ready like i just remember i just put on a movie and i completely expected both of you guys to just come in and collapse because you you especially were like i don't remember what it feels like to sit like mariah was just like she totally collapsed but then we ended up watching well heath and i stayed awake yeah mariah knocked out within like 10 minutes as she should because she worked very hard but we watched um the disaster artist on netflix i know we're late to the game and it was a huge movie it had its time a lot of hype i didn't really hear about it but apparently a lot of people did i heard a lot about it but never took the time to watch it do it and i still haven't i know you told me to watch it but i still watch my [ __ ] mind dude let's watch it again together i would love it you would watch it again after watching i would watch that and the room there's not a lot of movies that i'd watch again right now so it's so that it's based off of a real movie yeah i know that i know the whole storyline i know yeah i know all that so it's based off of like the worst movie ever made yeah and it's the backstory leading up to making this awful movie yeah and just seeing how spot on james franco is with playing this character i think tommy wysaw was his name yeah yeah um just the way he portrays him is so spot on and funny and it just goes through this entire story of how this movie got to be made and then they do side by side shots at the end of the movie of what the original looked like and what they did and it is identical so good it was done but it's like you're uncomfortable watching it but you just like our eyes were glued we were we were taking bathrooms you're uncomfortable watching the actual movie or the um or the the actual movie was zayn i know like i know this story i know the whole like the disaster artist i know that movie like i've seen clips of it it's just i'm surprised how late to the game you guys are like you've never even you've never even heard of it before i've heard of it but i just never like took the time i had to explain the plot to you though too because yeah i was watching it and you would just come in the room and i was like and you didn't i don't think you i really don't feel like you were able to appreciate it until i told you the backstory that was based on a real thing which i i understand because i wouldn't have appreciated it either because it's so weird and like out of left field and you're just kind of like what is this but when you asked me the backstory and i kind of told you it was based off a real movie your eyes were glued to the screen and it was like so much more enjoyable from that point but when he says that it's not available everywhere like it's really like disaster artist yes but the real the guy like didn't want it to be on like netflix or well it could it didn't get on netflix he he tried but they denied it but it was getting like a bunch of hype and they do like showings of the movie i was like a cult following at like theaters around um but you can buy the dvd of it and i was like there's no way i'm gonna buy i can't wait like i needed to see it that night after watching it so we were searching all over the internet we found like a censored version on youtube and it was just like come to find out the the real movie is just like a poor excuse for trying to film a porno yeah like he was just doing whatever he could to drag out a scene to get to the next sex scene like it was disgusting like just like so cringe i ended up like searching searching trying to find it and it was like pornhub full movie the room and i was like all right all right uh-huh clicked it full hd ready to go i was like yes here we go we're watching the movie literally like five minutes into it it goes number one again no no no we didn't we didn't get rick rolled it was a real movie it was the full movie but it kept taking these breaks and it was like oh oh yo yeah sign up for pornhub live oh like the little app kept playing ads but without an ad popping up and mariah's sleeping next to us sleeping she's gonna wake up and be like heath and kenny are watching porn on the couch next to me while i'm sleeping it was and i kept like it felt like i'm like hiding something everything's so funny every single time it kicked in i would just he's sitting next to me i would just feel his body language immediately get like really vigilant and then grab the remote and mute the audio so that it wasn't like if mariah was to wake up and there were times when you would like roll over and whatever would just be like god like what are we going to tell her when she was she was waiting she was awake the whole time she was like but the thing is like the acting in it looked like a porn oh like a shitty porn yeah like i'm sure hey step bro and it was just like really there's times where there's times where we just get that it looks like you're boring any bad any about any like not good acting it just looks like a porn or are you about to watch it it was so [ __ ] funny to watch the real one after zayn it's called the room i swear to god i feel like i was on amazon and i saw there's a couple of movies called the room oh but it's not it's not yeah with jacob i saw that one and next to it was the room there's like three there's like three or four other movies called the room and obviously at the end of the movie i still don't understand why it was called the room like that was just a choice i literally think it was because this is another crazy thing there was one setting in the entire [ __ ] thing it was a room like it was supposed to be like an apartment yeah there was a room and then there was a rooftop to the apartment and it would just back and forth but this guy had nothing to do with the room though ended up spending six million dollars to film this movie and it's funny to see all the stuff that they alluded to in the disaster artist like little weird things yeah the guy was just like uh yeah you could film it on these cameras we usually rent him out and he's like no i'll buy him he's like do you want to do like hd or like 35 millimeter he's like yes um yeah i'm gonna do both and he was just like okay i'll sell it to you and like just to show you like how this budget this guy just had no idea what he just wanted really just wanted to make it whatever like i met like if we wanted to make a movie we're just like we people are just like this is the rate we're like okay yeah i guess so we would just say yeah we probably just say yes or anything you don't know you need this yeah you just don't know yeah and it was just crazy to see like them talking about it throughout the disaster artist and then being like holy [ __ ] six million dollars went to like this and it didn't look six million dollars besides besides the bad acting you're the bad right video was a higher production and looked better than this movie oh easily so this guy got [ __ ] he got like basically scammed or whoever whoever selling him this [ __ ] they knew that he he didn't know what he was doing the whole thing is nobody knew he he played it off like he was a kid and like became friends with this kid and was like i'm the same age as you he was in like 40s no you're not like i know you're not he's like no i'm your age he's like where are you from and he's like louisiana but he was talking like he had this like crazy european type of accident dude it was bizarre uh no i mean i want to watch it now like the fact that he told me like eight times like i have to watch this movie i gotta watch it now i haven't stopped thinking about it since i watched it i wanna i wanna watch it again speaking of porn do you guys watch uh jay alvarez's uh little porn video he made you brought this up the other night so i saw a bunch of i think well the first thing i saw was karina's tweet like something it was like i want somebody to j alvarez me and i was like oh i didn't what i didn't see any of that the first time i heard it was matt went to my room and was like did he see did you see jay offers this video i was like no what video he's like dude he has a portal out i was like whoa really i was like did it get like did it get leaked or something he's like no no dude it was like it was like shot like a j alvarez video and i was like there's like [ __ ] drone shots and i was like am i first thing that went in my head was oh he i he definitely put this out on purpose like he leaked it i feel like he licked it out himself so it was like a full on like color corrected like jail it was it was a full-on like jay alvarez it was a bit it was like a full-on like youtube video it was like the camera guy was following like a vlog and he was looking at the camera and then the girl like like with him and they went into the hotel room and it was like a very crazy hot sex scene that you would see in like a movie it was like very it was like a ronin it's like [ __ ] stabilized no it was it was like a it was like a straight up kenny so jay alvarez is bringing the budget to porno yeah and obviously it looked good it didn't look bad like you know how like when someone should get it gets leaked it's a little embarrassing i think he knew exactly what he was doing it's a publicity and a part of me like i haven't heard it i haven't heard of jay alvarez in like in a little bit like i haven't seen his name anywhere i've kind of like forgotten him myself like personally i just haven't seen his name anywhere i just i think this was like kind of like a a way to go back out and i i people do it i think it's normal but like that's how i see there's no way that got leaked there's no a video like that does not edited video it's a full-on edited video yeah it's not like a writing cut or anything like that i mean maybe it was rough like the awkward moment and you know what you got to give to him because i've never seen anything like that before from from internet it looked good it looked good it was it was a 10 minute there was a couple uh mid roll ads it was like it was like 100th video the future of porn guys is here i think this was a good time for him to leak that video out was because only fans is blowing up and i think it's like becoming normalized to like you know having only fans and like be naked and [ __ ] so i mean at the end of the day everyone's just trying to branch out nothing wrong with that and everybody's just trying to get their nuts i was good yeah i was gonna yeah win-win you know you've been trying to branch out lately you've been trying to get you're not lazy especially in time for christmas when you drink a coffee because that's one of the main ingredients in our coffee actually is nuts with chocolate and fruit if you want to get your nut log into cremoda.com good but you've been you've been doing some [ __ ] uh other you know other avenues i feel like that you haven't been doing um traditionally you've been on santino's podcast now yeah that was really fun yeah it was just cool because like we did the podcast with whitney together and like that was fun doing it like a duo yeah but it was just like it was interesting to sit down one-on-one because like we've never even done a podcast one-on-one yeah and like i don't even know what that would feel like but like doing it with like a basically a stranger like i met him before yeah but like sitting there and just like talking yeah it was very interesting it was cool i enjoyed it it was really fun um if you guys want to check that out um his uh podcast is whiskey ginger and i feel like because you don't know him too there's so much to like discover about another person organically in that setting and santino's really quick i recorded some of my lines with uh with him yeah the oyster the voiceover gig that i got and he's very fast he's really really very fast-paced and he's really really funny yeah so sorry i don't really know him so i don't i can't really i don't know he's actually he's actually in the disaster artist oh he is yeah he is watching it and i was like oh my god that's andrew so weird yeah he's he's a really big actor really huge comedian he's a little dicky's show oh dave i've never seen it but i don't know he's done a whole bunch of stuff and then he's got his podcast and then the one with bobby lee oh he's in that one too yeah yeah bad friends both oh so he he's on uh both two different podcasts okay but yeah he's uh super quick and funny how was noelle's thing was it a podcast or was that supposedly it's the fastest talk show did did you see noel's thing i did not i did not but so he asked me to go on he was like hey i'm starting this new thing i want you to be a guest okay cool i had no idea what to expect i showed up they blindfolded me walked me through i thought i was getting strapped into one of those like slingshot bungees that like shoots you in the case because they put this harness on me strapped me in and i was just like oh my god i'm about to like get launched see this did you have to sign anything before you had said oh god do you consent to doing anything noelle says within reason shut up that's what that was that was like the actual agreement um so i signed it obviously but it ended up being i i took my blindfold off and he punched the gas and it was a uh like basically a golf cart with a desk built around it like a talk show desk okay with like plants and stuff and he was driving a golf cart desk around a race track like a mini race track okay doing a podcast while we were driving not like super fast but it was like like in my head it's just [ __ ] chaos and you're trying to go through questions it was like as fast as you could drive like a like a like a gator oh that's funny um but it was it was it was really cool and i enjoyed that too if you want to check that video out it's out too on noel's instagram that's really funny that's a good idea it's genius it's called hot laps hot lap he's killing it he's crushing it it's every show is on is in that thing that's funny so he so he was recording i was the first one so i didn't know what it was gonna be i didn't have anything to see before going on it a pioneer well i don't think i don't think any comes out i think he's filming him all at once and then posting him oh i don't know yeah because i know because i know he's a todd he did i i think yeah yeah because i don't think he wanted it to i don't want he didn't want anybody to see it yet so he probably did everybody at the same time yeah that makes sense it's interesting though like i i've talked i feel like i've talked about this before but with you guys but like hot ones like how they make their the person that's being interviewed in a sense they're making them uncomfortable while these questions are being asked like it's hot things that they're eating so it's gonna make them uncomfortable it's gonna make them perform differently when they're answering these questions i feel like it's the same thing that's such a smart idea for an oil to do that is like put them in the hot seat basically like make them uncomfortable while you're interviewing them it's such a genius like plot i feel like i love that i need to watch your episodes i love creative people yeah i'm like jealous of it because like i love driving and like i love like cars and [ __ ] yeah yeah i can never think of fun [ __ ] like that or is it the team that thinks i don't know i have no idea everyone's just trying to do their own thing find their own lane branch out before we continue this episode is brought to you by calm calm one of the most powerful ways to improve your overall health and happiness to get a good night's sleep but if your daily routine has changed it can be harder to fall and stay asleep sleep we all love it and most of us probably want more of it but rather than getting a solid night's rest we often find 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your loved ones share stories through thought-provoking questions and their memories and personal thoughts it's a fun new way to engage with family especially those you can't see in person so every week story worth emails your family member different story prompts questions you've never thought to ask so for example they'll ask what's a small decision you made that ended up having a big impact on your life or if you can see into the future what would you want to find out reading the weekly stories is fun and makes your family feel close even though you're not together after one year story worth will compile all your stories including photos into a beautiful keepsake book that's shipped for free and the keepsake book is something cute that you could give as a birthday gift or a holiday present that you could just share with somebody to remember all the good times you had together yeah and i feel like it could actually bring a family closer too like being involved remember some you know 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ago i had an appointment with this like anti-aging place and i know it sounds weird it was ah i like i don't know why it's not there's like there's not another name for it but like this place was just it was called the anti-aging center so i went and they had like all the results for me like my testosterone levels and just everything all my levels like all and like 10 pages and i basically have a mental and body of an over 60 year old man no way my my mood my so and and it's crazy you grumpy as old i know so she so she like sat me down and it almost felt like a therapy session it was it was very very interesting she sat me down we were talking for a little bit and then she was like how would you if you're if if your friends could describe your mood lately and how you've been what would you how would they describe you as right and i was like well i mean to be completely honest i don't think i've been in like the best mood lately i think i've been pretty negative lately and i haven't been very happy it could be the year i don't know i'm just like not energetic i'm not motivated at all i'm very lazy i it's just i'm i'm at my like lois right now she's like well i mean that makes sense because it literally says it all here in your numbers i was like what do you mean she's like every like every every like your testosterone your um estrogen your other like i've literally just disappeared in the blood all this [ __ ] that she had that where i should be i should be above this number i should be below this number all that was off by a lot and she even she was surprised she was like very surprising to see these numbers like we need to fix you because you you're you're how old you're 27 yeah you're 28 sorry you should not be you should not be here and we need to fix this now because it's only going to get worse and i was like that's [ __ ] insane like i know that they could see like yeah i get checking like your testosterone and estrogen levels but like seeing how it's broken down yeah yeah is really cool how you can like dive in like someone could take your blood and say that you're unhealthy but men the fact that she was able to say like mentally like you're pretty unhealthy that's crazy just by just by blood so now she gives you different like medicine pills yeah so she so i ha i had to go home with a lot of a lot of [ __ ] i she gave me this like supplement box where each each uh pack pack has like a ton of like different vitamins and fish oil [ __ ] that i have to take i have to now inject myself with a shot every day of different after after twinsies yeah i have to maybe i have to inject with testosterone every other day and then i have to inject baby that's called steroids no it's not steroid it's i mean it's i guess it is steroids but it's not the steroids that like [ __ ] people use so you've done this for how long you've i just started have you you've injected yourself already um not myself lately but um she she was like showing me how to do it and it's it's [ __ ] terrifying the needle is this long and she was like you need to go all the way in yeah inject everything in and pull it out like i can't do this kenny does it like it's nothing but this is the thing that was whenever i found out that i was diagnosed i was 19 so like i had lived my full life you know before like i've become an adult and it's so hard to like it's so weird because your body anytime i would try to inject like i know what i was taught and whatever and anytime i would try to go do it like my body would just stop me because it's like self-preservation yeah it's like you're not supposed to hurt yourself like it's so it's so hard to do initially it's like it's like heroin you know you got to stick it in you want to feel that good exactly but you know you got it this [ __ ] you're not feeling good you're just vitamins for a [ __ ] bite that baby that's why you got liquid liquid iv you mix it up and so when's the first time you have to inject yourself um she did it for me uh when i saw her friday i have to do it myself uh tomorrow can i do it and i got it i have to do one in my stomach and in my thigh and i also have to take these like i think they're called troves i i'm maybe mistaken the the wording of it but it's like this square that i have to split in half and i have to take it an hour after dinner every night i have to do this um oh you're honest i have to spray it in my mouth like twice and then swish it in my mouth for 30 seconds every time i wake up like the the second i wake up yeah no i was so off where i have to do all these things every day and then after a month she's gonna see me again and be like how are you feeling now this is crazy this is [ __ ] that my body isn't producing at all i'm working out every day i'm eating better and still it doesn't it like it's i'm not my body's still not able to and then she makes it and then she makes you take those rhino plus pills a month seems pretty awesome dick pills at the gas station that are like sitting there it's like got like a holographic rhino you take you take one in it like it's like a viagra does it does it even work we did them i i feel like that one was like made from like [ __ ] somewhere crazy like i don't think that one was the same as the other one zayn and i got bored one night we went to the gas station i think this is a long time ago i think i went to go like like a pack of cigarettes yeah and like beer or something we had a i think we had a job and we were there for one night yeah and there was nothing going on it was like it was like a tuesday night and we had to go home the next day and we so we went to the gas station before we grabbed dinner and we go to this gas station and they just had a wall of these walls more than you've ever seen they had more selections of dick pills than they had of alcohol cigarettes chips chips everything it was a [ __ ] wall we're like holy [ __ ] why do they have so many it was somewhere in new york right yeah and it was like a a pretty big corner story it was like a huge one so we looked up and we looked at each other we were like have you ever tried a big bill do you think it would work we're like we don't know let's try it we're like hey dude which one's the best dick pill he goes the samurai and we're like can he write that he's like we're like we'll we'll get we'll we'll get two and he's like okay he looked at both of us like we were gonna [ __ ] each other my god i know and we so we buy it and we're like at dinner it was like it did it was like a date so we wanted to do this right because obviously we spent like we spent like what ten bucks it was they were expensive so we're like hey look we should take this at a good time we don't want to [ __ ] it up i think we're like in the middle of dinner where we took it it was a horse pill like they're big yeah it was giant we took it and we're like all right dude good night we almost forgot that we took this but we like we're like good night gonna we're at home and i was like in bed and then all of a sudden yo i could have touched the ceiling it was [ __ ] sunday mariah what it was it was it was such a crazy experience he was he was taller laying down than he was standing up yeah i was talking about this with santee i told you guys a little bit about with santino the other day about like the market for dick pills like it's dick pills coffee flavor guys hang in there guys like i didn't know there was such a a huge market for it but even like what you're saying how there was like such a like a wall of a white but yeah like that goes to show you how big of a market is new york the city that never sleeps baby because they too busy [ __ ] yeah like i don't understand it like i i just i don't i don't get i mean i thought like when i think of dick pills i think of like erectile dysfunction it is right i totally understand it in that capacity but like what i've been made to know is that not everybody that's popping these pills like pez have problems getting their dick up i think it's i think it's just like a um i think it is a testosterone boost i think it it's just testosterone i don't know but because if that's the case then i'm injecting this [ __ ] three times a week then you're taking the wrong [ __ ] but yeah no it the [ __ ] the [ __ ] worked it [ __ ] works and it's like and i feel like it puts you at your it put you it puts you at your best i think that's one thing that men have that they could be insecure about yeah and it's like [ __ ] well if it does work great if it doesn't at least i [ __ ] tried yeah and it's as easy as going to the store and buying it so why not i feel like if it works that well why not that's true it's like you're paying for convenience i remember i remember we got home from that trip oh my god we were sitting in the apartment we were talking about it zayn went online and bought out like do you remember this it was like 50 pills i bought 50 pills because i was like this shit's [ __ ] good i don't like this [ __ ] it's good i'm gonna put this i never used it never never [ __ ] you still haven't but it was it was in my like old old apartment kenny wanted i want to try it shouldn't ever go get some samurai pills and then watch disaster artists you guys are all waiting for the episode what about the boner episode [Laughter] it's like you know it's crazy like once like once you use it you're like oh my god i need more of this because this is like this just works so well easy i know but like it's so those pil those pills are so bad for you again that's why like i didn't they're they're bad for you because i looked it up i obviously looked it up i was like hey are these pills dangerous for you and it's very [ __ ] it's just like it's unnatural yeah it's like it made the switch so much easier hey i'm glad to know that that [ __ ] is that's why i bought 50 because i was talking to 50 different girls i was gonna say and one was for each i was gonna say yeah what were you about to use right that's what i'm curious about i'm when i'm excited about something i just buy a a a ton of okay i'm impulsive yeah yeah and i buy a lot of things so that was something that i bought that i never [ __ ] used and i wish i did but i never used whenever i think of you going to this place this whole anti-aging thing i would never expect for you to leave there with this sort of like diagnosis i'm seeing you going in there and getting a recommendation for botox and for a facelift or like and you know what i think they do do that i think they did yeah if it's fantastic but i i didn't check but um the only reason why i went there is because i think i've been feeling like like uh it should be like overall wellness center or something right yeah well i mean wellness center good yes that's that's what it should be in the center that sounds like a ymca or something some sort of like ymca that's like a athletic yeah but like getting like physical activity in it's like a wellness center too yeah anti-aging like if you if you come out and you're like yo they told me i'm a 65 year old i need to i need to rewind this because like everything i'm looking up everything i look up about testosterone like it's very like it's very much so about you know like it's about the penis and about puberty and about hair and about whatever like there but there are residual effects though that like help you maintain a normal mood like a mood that you're more likely to be you know to maintain so it's like i i it makes sense i just didn't know anything about testosterone being like uh a sort of mood regulator yeah and some uh do some leg workouts i i do a lot of workouts that's why i like squat i do okay i do a lot i know that's what i'm saying i'm doing a lot of workouts and i still did not feel good and lifting your legs and lose testosterone and seeing uh and seeing todd todd has been in a really really really really good mood lately like he's just been like waking up energetic ready to take on the day he works out a lot as a board he's just he's just he's just like good mate or maybe he's in love i don't know he's just been in a really good mood lately so like and i know he went to the center and is taking [ __ ] yeah so like in my head i was like [ __ ] i want to feel as good as todd does because he looks like he's happy like he wakes up feels like he's just can take on the day and i'm like complete i'm the complete opposite did he talk to you at all about like because you obviously just went to this place it's like how long before you see any sort of results results um check back in a month that sounds so quick though right it does because i could i'm i could inject this for a week but like i know i'm not going to see it's like it's a slow process just like any other medication it's like a very slow process you have to give it a fair shot that you you're gonna have to inject the [ __ ] i know to make sure you know that it works and if it doesn't work you can rule it out but like you have to do the injecting exactly and i also feel like i i can't just sit there and let it work i have to it's like kind of like a i gotta work with it yeah so i need to make sure i do my best to start start energetic and be wake up early and be ready to take on the day in my own head just so these this medicine can set yourself up for success yeah exactly i think waking up early is a big big thing yeah like try try to get in the habit of that wake up early make your bed yep oh my god work out you come back home shower every time you're [ __ ] ready to go um i've been waking up earlier now like the past few days i've woken up at like 8 39 which is wow early for me that's like [ __ ] crazy for me i would like to wake up an hour earlier like i want to wake up at 7 30. i'm trying to get to the 5 a.m club that's you see that that's not even fun because you're you're going to sleep knowing that you're not going to get enough rest well i'm i'm at like 6 30 right now and it's you're at 6 00 uh oh 16 hours no i get up at 6 30. oh 6 00 6 30 okay i feel like when i first got out here like back in july i feel like we were all more attuned to like staying up watch a movie oh you want to watch another movie let's watch another movie why not whatever but like fun it's exciting yeah but i think yeah i think lately you you have been better about you know not not calling it too late you know which i think is important because i my sleep schedule is [ __ ] and i feel like i was totally on the same wavelength as you prior to all this testosterone stuff i was i'm still waking up pretty late what what time do you get up i've been setting an alarm for 9 9 30 well nine and then i'll hit snooze a couple times but like i will wake up at like 10 30 sometimes and i will hit snooze and i will i will roll and i don't like it it makes me feel like [ __ ] because when i get up when i oversleep yeah i do too if i so just force yourself up and you'll be fine yeah yeah yep okay i don't know what it is and i i can't figure it out but i wear contacts and i take them out at night i wake up in the morning and my eyes are so [ __ ] dry to the point where like i can't even open them because it hurts so bad yeah like no matter what i'll wake up and i'm just like like this and i'll just like force myself back to sleep yeah because there was this like motivational speaker i feel like she probably did a ted talk or something i'll try to find the video for you guys later because it's actually really cool my mom loves this video um but it's this motivational speaker her name is mel robbins and she talks about this five second rule and she was going through a lot of like negative [ __ ] in her life like i think she was going through a divorce and a bunch of like really difficult things and she had zero motivation to do anything so in the morning she would not be able to get up like she would just like not feel the need there was no drive to get up so she just wouldn't and she learned that there was this rule this like five second rule in your head that it takes you about five seconds to talk yourself out of doing something whereas if you can just beat it to the punch and just do yeah and not within that five second window you're good you will start telling yourself like oh well i guess i could do this if i woke up well it's not that big of a deal i cannot probably make it up in that time period that five seconds hits me when i'm in bed when i wake up it's the hardest thing to do yeah so she's like she thought of like a rocket launching you know how they have the countdown five four three two one she would wake up in the morning the second that she opened her eyes and she would count herself down like a rocket launch and she would say five four three and then get up one and she would get up she would not allow herself to go back to bed she would count herself down and she would force herself to get up no matter how she was feeling if she was feeling good bad or indifferent i'm like setting up an alarm right now it's so important it's such a good method yeah that's so good it's you literally tricking your brain because it's it's almost like we have these innate tendencies of like you know the five second rule to convince us not to do something it takes like i think 11 seconds to judge somebody based on just their appearance or something like that i don't know don't quote me on that but your brain does these things and you almost have to override them and trick yourself into being like no no this does not serve me so i'm not gonna allow it to go on like this it's weird and give yourself like something to wake up for like that's what i've been finding yeah like this morning i woke up at 6 15 to go surf with todd yeah and i was like it gave me an activity like mariah and i was like if i have golf in the morning i'm [ __ ] up i'm ready like i just like i know i have something to do i have nothing to get the only thing i have to get up for is working out which is like scheduled the night before but like weekends i have nothing to get up for so i think that's like a problem i just need to figure out something i need to do i've been like trying to find excitement in the morning like i'll get up and i've been trying this thing where i don't check my phone like i'll get up in the morning i'll go make a cup of coffee i'll go sit out by the fire pit and i'll read for like an hour and then after that is when i'll like check my phone because i know if like i lay in bed i'll reach over i'll grab my phone i'll scroll through some [ __ ] and then i'm just like stuck there in bed and then feeling lazy and tired like well i guess i could like we're never active when we're checking our phones for any given reason we're never doing something wrong checking scrolling yeah just sitting and scrolling that's helped me a lot just getting out just getting a cup of coffee and like my activity that i'm waking up for is like fire pit reading yeah like mariah will come out we'll have coffee and just like sit there you get up at like 3 30 right i don't i don't i literally don't understand you i know i don't get it either i know everybody's different like especially with you you you count how many hours of sleep you're gonna get you're like i need like the normal how like what is it like we need seven or eight yeah eight hours yeah zayn's very like animate on that like i i have to get my eight hours and have to get it for me i don't like staying up late my body doesn't like it like i love i'm an early riser but if we're up like especially like when we're working on the the coffee and stuff like that we were up at like 4 a.m but for some reason no matter how late i go to bed i could go to bed at 4 a.m i will be up at six or seven i naturally wake up as soon as my eyes open i get ants in my pants and i'm like i have to get up and do something i can't just sit here i wish whatever that is it's the natural energy like she is so energetic like yeah constantly throughout the day yeah like do you notice i'm picking at stuff as i'm sitting here like i can't sit still it'll drive me actually insane like that gets me anxious i get a lot of anxiety from sitting like if we do the podcast for close to three hours i'll start like panicking a little bit huh i'll get like weird yeah whatever you have i think i'm injecting in my belly right now like trying to get to that point yeah yeah that's good that's good yeah i don't know one of the things that she said to not do less caffeine less caffeine you drink a lot of caffeine i've been drinking a lot of i i feel like i drink a lot of energy drinks i drink a lot of coffee yeah so drink water i drink i drink a lot of cold water yeah the results just showed i drink too much so i gotta talk i know i'm probably gonna have [ __ ] kidney stones what's kidney what's kidney stones again because if you drink a lot of like caffeine you get like these rocks that you have to like pass through and oh [ __ ] out you're they're really painful too and the stones look just like they're scaled before we continue we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor of this episode grand harvest taking some time to yourself to relax and unwind is more important than ever baby we know you like to decompose you feel dead we know you like to decompress and decompose baby you have been in a lot right now i know i think we all have to this has been like a really rough year so like you know i need some games to spice up my life you know get your mind off of some stuff exactly so one of my new favorite ways to decompose or de-stress is with solitaire grand harvest grand harvest has everything you love about the traditional tri-peak solitaire all wrapped up in a fun farm aesthetic so you can enjoy the relaxation of the farm life while you're upping up your solitary skills baby solitary grain harvest is a super relaxing treat for the mind full of fun and challenging levels you can play anywhere anytime play your cards right in advance and earn an hourly bonus based on how many crops you grow the more you play the more crops you can harvest and the more bonuses to collect i like it it's like solitaire with a twist and you get to like do something else on the side like i'm all about that farm life it's solitaire like you've never seen before and it's free to play connect your social accounts and see how your friends are progressing in the game like i could spy on zayn how are you doing while you're decomposing okay and it's fun to have a little friendly competition while you're stuck at home exactly and when you need to take a load off solitary grain harvest is a fun way to unwind i personally like right now they got a little uh holiday theme going yeah which is kind of cute exactly it's like it's like a holiday farm yeah and honestly i love solitaire i used to play solitaire as a kid it's addicting highly addicting so that's why i love this game so much i love to play all the time and it's like you're just trying to beat yourself but with grand harvest you kind of like get to compete with your friends check out how they're doing and you get to see little the cute little farm animals too which e-i-e-i-o yeah so guys i mean give heath a chance he's actually on level two i'm on level six i am not only don't get out it's okay just be honest with them it's a little hard for you to play solitaire and i get it don't try me i've been playing since i was a kid so like i'm i'm just like really good at it you couldn't you're better at handling a goat or a [ __ ] [ __ ] exactly you're better at animals i'm better than cars we're stuck inside or just dreaming of the great outdoors now you can have a fun farm style getaway right at your fingertips so download solitary grand harvest for free today at the apple store google play and amazon and challenge zane baby because he think he's doing something i am doing something and i will teach you how to play the game all you got to do is ask thank you solitaire grant harvest grand harvest solitaire solitaire grand harvest thank you solitaire grand harvest i feel like food in the beverage industry is so ridiculous lately yeah just something's good for you just no i'm not sorry what do you mean by that when you go to the grocery store you can get organic [ __ ] fruits and vegetables how is that a [ __ ] thing a [ __ ] instead of like instead of regular fruits ones that have [ __ ] chemicals and all sorts of carcinogens and whatever attitude you pay you pay attention and they they charge you five dollars more to have something that doesn't have these additives and they're like well if you don't well if if you want something that's organic we can do it but it's going to cost you more and we won't add all this [ __ ] up it's [ __ ] up but it's because they have to work harder to get it out faster i think that's just something no no no it's not no because isn't it because it's such a huge supply they've got to get so much out of short amount of times and pesticides well that's how they stay good for longer preservatives like preservatives is one thing yes but like i'm not on their side i'm just saying like i just think that that's why we're able they're able to put out so much on the floor like that right and take longer doing it it's because of all the [ __ ] they have they put on they're able to do that stuff to make it look pretty stuff to make it look like it's still fresh because if you look at like like fruit that's or vegetables are grown in like your backyard it looks like [ __ ] it doesn't it doesn't look that good it looks better like when you see on the shelves and [ __ ] like color the apples covered polishes yeah the wax that's crazy that whole wax there were experiments that were done that like that actually extracted the amount of wax to make it look shiny like that we made it this far food should be real regardless and you shouldn't have to like right well yeah i mean it's like people people like the the standard has been set before all this to be like but this all this negative stuff is okay though so like if you don't want it to be in your food then you're gonna have to [Music] oh the cigarettes yeah yeah paul blart that was the first that was the first thing i thought of and then that was something i wish i didn't say but you said it for me you said it for me because i was saying the same thing for us for [Laughter] so i think i think i saw something that like paul maul owns a bunch of different like food industry companies and i thought that was really interesting i don't know probably had enough money to start a cigarette coming paul mall owns like a bunch of like cigarettes and super addictive like just nicotine whatever and i saw that they like own [ __ ] with like food and like they gotta be adding something into the food to make it more addicting and appealing to buy yeah they started as a cigarette company yeah did so well and paul is in cigarettes that's so much money that they bought out like grocery stores yeah yeah i wouldn't be surprised were they are they like an old brand like they were like the only ones out and they were like the hot ones in the market the big one yeah i didn't know that i thought like marlboro and chip were like big big owned by pomo marlborough yeah it's owned by palma wow paul mall is like the big umbrella company do you think cigarette sales are do you think cigarette sales are going down now i think they're gonna start going back up i think the electronic cigarettes were a way to get the younger generation addicted again in order to get them back on real cigarettes i don't think so because real cigarettes are cigarettes i think they'll find gross like kids that spoke puffs no because kids are into like vintage things they're starting to smoke them cigarettes are cool again now yeah i don't see it make cigarettes cool again yeah normalize cigarettes i think it was a way to because because it was a thing like cigarettes are [ __ ] stupid are you crazy why would you ever do that try this electronic cigarette then you get a nic addicted to nicotine and then they're like oh well we can't do flavors anymore sorry guys no more no more flavored puff jewel whatever and then people are like well [ __ ] now i have a nicotine addict like addiction i need to [ __ ] give me a cigarette whatever i can see that because i mean honestly to be candid it's like i don't have an addictive personality so i can't really say for sure but yeah i mean like the the vape things always appeal to me more because i never liked cigarettes i mean i i haven't tried them extensively i think the first and only cigarette that i've tried was with me probably at duncan in florida billiard yeah oh yeah billiards um i went there i know what you're talking about yeah she's very good yes that's my bubba but like you never pressured me or anything like that i probably asked you like that's why no i did not you smoked before me smoked before did you he was on marlborough 27 no no no i started smoking because of you he's such a [ __ ] he was smoking cigarettes and i was like do you want to go have a cigarette because you were smoking he was trying to impress you when you first met that's so cute he was like oh heath you smoke i had no idea so you influenced me zayn don't start that's where this conversation starts yeah yeah yeah we i get into his car he's got empty [ __ ] cigarettes all over the floor hey look okay because because of you to you what was it 27s are the ones that taste like chocolate that's when we're talking about flavors i was like they did have flavors and cigarettes they had mint and chocolate god i never like i never like like i okay i will be completely honest you like cigarettes look pretty cool cigarettes are sexy they look they're they are yeah but like upon trying one with you did not understand the appeal of smoking i i like the look of it i hold joints when i smoke weed i hold joints like cigarettes i hold cigarettes like joints that's fine oh yeah you do it's weird i think the look of a of a little peace sign kind of holding a holding a thing with a peace sign thing i think that's cool but i upon trying a cigarette i was like oh yeah this is this is nasty i don't like it uh zayn i never talked about remember remember when i went to florida for my brother's wedding yeah so i had the best man speech and everything it got filmed i didn't know people were filming it of course of course it got filmed i didn't really like the wedding you know i i'm willing to bet you gotta have at least 15 different angles of that it's on youtube i didn't even know about it it's my highest view video um so yeah it got filmed and i saw it in like the drop box that everybody was sharing but i didn't watch it because i don't want to watch it because i know i was a mess like dude the entire day i was so emotional for his wedding yeah i was bawling my eyes out when we had to walk down the aisle like all all of like the groom's man i was i was he's getting emotional right now i can ball my eyes out let's see so i've never i've never watched my speech well it's a big day your brother's getting married i don't know i don't know what to expect oh look at me like oh my god you look like a you look like you sell cigars oh my gosh um it's funny i actually always felt like you were the best brother in the family and i look up to you in every way you're an incredible athlete had the body of a greek god this beautiful long blonde hair [Music] and leo still loves him [Laughter] and i'm pretty sure he's rubbed off on you [Music] i'm happy to call you my new best sister see you all you're too hard on yourself like he did not want to watch it and i told him i was like it was the most perfect amount of each emotion yeah there was crying there was laughing all the jokes and crying i know but all the jokes came across like you pulled yourself together for the jokes they laughed for a long amount of time then you can breathe and then you would cry like it was like everything worked out perfectly i was gonna say imagine imagine you're trying to deliver a joke through tears you had time to like breathe get the joke across probably the the most scared i've been in a very long time really it was worse than doing like uh like a project for school like presenting because it was your family that was there right it's also leah's family friends it's like yeah oh yeah yeah i forgot about her family yeah yeah like if it was just my brother like it's one thing but also like knowing like how big of a day this is uh-huh like it's like a family member like a brother's wedding yeah there's high expectations yeah it's like literally doing stand-up comedy it didn't it was i mean the thing is now i didn't know how big it was before they gave me the mic they were like the most anticipated speech of the night the best man speech here we go and i was just like [ __ ] and you told me to wrap it up hey change zayn everybody that i didn't know from the wedding like just the other people that were invited kept coming up to me they're like oh my god you're shane's brother you're you're the comedian oh very good nice apparently people kept saying like oh yeah he's a comedian this is before the speech yes before they even met me like before they like they're looking at heath who's our stand-up comedian stand-up community they're trying to find me standing up drunk [Laughter] hey all we found was just drunk videos of you where's your what you're trying to stand up do you want to talk about when you were taking the wedding pictures that cop oh my god about your cub yeah yeah so we pull up to the venue that yeah this was at and i rented a rolls royce for my brother and his wife just to like have and like take cool pictures like with i just thought it'd be like a fun being like a fancy thing a fancy thing for right it was their special day i wanted them to like pull up to the spot in this car like just really enjoy the day yeah so i rented it and we like drive over and like i ended up pulling the car in the front of the venue yeah so the bridesmaids could all take pictures with it and everybody it would just like be like this cool like photo shoot yeah opportunity so the girls are all in the car taking pictures and a parking enforcement car pulls up so that at the end of this spot like it's like a dead end and at the end of it is like a loop around a median yeah so you loop around and you can drive back out yeah so we looped around and parked here okay right so we're parked the guy pulls in afterwards after we started taking the pictures and parks right behind the car and is like getting in the shots and he's looking at me like there's a wedding going on and he's looking at me and i'm just like he's like you need to move the car and i was like i totally understand they're almost done with the pictures as soon as they're done i'll move it out of the way like i sorry about that we're almost done he goes i need to get out and i was like why don't you try going around the car like there's plenty of room to pass because you could get around it i was like why don't you try going around he's like and he's giving me this nasty look i was like come on i was like like he must have just broken up with his girlfriend or something that he was so excited about i don't know what you want me to do you want me to get all the girls out of the car so i can move the car up five [ __ ] feet so you can i was like i don't know what you want me to do yeah i was like you can easily go around the car this will be completely fine and i will move yeah everybody everybody was like yo you can't talk to him like that i was like i don't give a [ __ ] like he can easily go around yeah and then i like if you want to give me a ticket cool i'll pay the ticket let them finish their [ __ ] like this is their day yeah but you could tell like the look in his eye the way he was sitting there he had nothing he had he just had nothing else he just wanted to [ __ ] ruin somebody's day yeah and i was like [ __ ] and then i i said i was just like i don't know what to tell you i was like i'm not moving because it's not like there's a bunch of people like or his team looking like he could easily just let that slide and it's not like there was traffic it's not like there was anybody coming to teenagers like hanging out skateboarding and smoking a cigarette being cool like drawing property right that'd be an [ __ ] whatever it was a busy intersection and i was really [ __ ] up traffic cool yeah i got it get it but he ended up driving around and i was just like okay and the person at the venue was like i can't believe you just talked to a like a parking enforcement person like that i was like i mean but like really yeah be a human being for a second yeah i mean like we were saying it's like they're okay yes there's like laws and there's regulations we understand that and then there's common courtesy yeah there's a human decency yeah like read the room be able to know that i love that there's a wedding going on you guys having a good time i can't do this right now but like just like just hurry this up and then get moving yeah that's all that's right you have to do and that's what you're supposed to do that's what you're supposed to do like his job is supposed to just and we're supposed to follow the rules we understand that nobody else is around you're the only people at this freaking parking lot it was a parking lot it was a parking lot like crazy like it's funny because like as a whatever he is a law enforcement officer i know he's not a police officer but it's like as somebody that's enforcing a law or a regulation he's a step above a safety patrol well right but it's like his job is to make sure that not a lot of people are inconvenienced or whatever he would be inconveniencing more people your group by trying to force you guys to move than he would be like if you just like like just let it go like it's fine you're like nobody's in convenience by this yeah like as long as you let them know that hey they can't they're you're not supposed to be here and then that's it just let them finish up real quick we should take another minute right if you guys could just wrap this up like like he's making himself aware hey guys this is gonna be happening but like i see you're having a wedding have a good time but like just wrap it up real quick like this isn't supposed to be happening yeah yeah you didn't have that experience with your safety patrol your safety patrol you have a safety patrol no like to me parking enforcement people are like you you remember like middle school where there was a safety patrol they were the [ __ ] orange vest hey hey hey hold on i was the captain i know you knew you were a captain i was in elementary school yes i was but i but you were also the tallest i was intimidating by height but like yeah i mean i just don't understand people that are like i the other day i got a ticket i was grabbing my coffee which was walking distance but it was one of those moments where like i had pre-ordered my coffee i was like oh it's at the point where it's going to get kind of like grow some water let me just swing in my car and just pick it up i've done that multiple times yeah no issues everything's fine everything's cool whatever night today not today i parked in a spot for and it wasn't red or anything like that it was just that there was street sweeping within the two-hour window that i was parked there it was 9 45 and the parking window went to 10 a.m um for picking up you know for for all that for street sweeping and then most likely already they're most likely already finished they most likely already sweeped it i was gonna say it was like there was no way that a sweeper was coming within those 15 minutes like it was already done and it only took 30 seconds to pick up your car right the coffee was ordered i walked in i swear to god i was in this spot for less than two minutes it had to be less than two minutes i got out of my car i walked in the same block of my coffee shop that was so close and i walked out and a guy was in the front of my car and he was and and he was looking at whatever the front of my vehicle and i saw that he was in uniform or whatever his [ __ ] safety patrol vest and he was kind of hot in his uniform whatever kind of hot besides the point but like he was sizing up he looked like he was just sizing up my car just looking at it like and i go oh hey sorry is there a problem and he goes yeah you can't park here i said okay i'm so sorry i was just going in to get my coffee like i'm leaving right now and he ignores me and then i said have you started writing a ticket yet and he ignores me and he goes and he laughs and then he has a device that he starts punching information into and i said excuse me have you started writing a ticket yet and then he looks me dead in the eye and goes unfortunately yeah now i have oh and i said okay well i'm trying to vacate the spot like if you i'm so sorry i i i live very close by like i was whatever and he just ignores me he starts walking around in the back of my car because since i have florida plates they're not in the front and the back so he had to walk around the back and then he starts trying to take pictures of the car and he probably did get a picture of the back of the car and then i walk in front of his shot and i go okay excuse me i'm sorry but like you're probably in these pictures yeah i literally am probably in the pictures that he took because i'm like there trying to be like look i can leave the spot if the problem is me being in the spot i can leave very you're keeping me here in this illegal spot that longer than biggest thing and he was just so rude about it if he really cared about street sweeping right which he clearly didn't he was he just go and i go i go clearly you haven't started issuing the ticket he goes actually we start issuing the ticket before we take pictures i said okay well then would you mind telling me the repercussions of me parking here and he goes what do you mean you're getting a ticket i said what are the repercussions of the ticket and he goes it's a [ __ ] ticket you can't park here like getting really like just uppity and like belligerent and i'm just like there's no reason for that whatsoever this is the problem i have with these parking ticket [ __ ] that drive around their job is to get people as quick as possible they wait it's they wait they sit there and wait and as soon as they see it boom done like i feel like that's such a [ __ ] up thing to do it's like as soon as the meter hits red give it give him a ticket [ __ ] put it together three meter tickets where was a minute over my time one it literally says on the ticket zero zero what like one minute well like you said two you were like you were like what if you were just pulling over like that's how quick the in this interaction was i was genuinely inside the coffee shop for a minute maybe even what if you had garbage you might want a litter you pulled over to throw it out and he was there giving you a ticket like it's just like it's so it's it's i understand rules i understand it like we're not like i feel like people are going to be like oh my god they're such brat just follow the rules have you never seen a fire truck that needs to pull into an emergency situation like like anybody would be upset in this situation the point of street cleaning is that you're not there when they need to clean the [ __ ] street if they've cleaned the street or already and there's 15 minutes left and they're long gone why the [ __ ] are you giving a ticket because they can the the law is that you're not there for the for the [ __ ] machine to come clean the streets it's not there how about allah these [ __ ] don't be [ __ ] littering in the streets yeah be clean and we won't have to street sweeping i'm not trying to present like oh my god i was such an angel and i approached him and i [ __ ] kissed his feet and whatever but i was like hey is there a problem and he he told me the problem i said okay well that's about to be solved if you would just let me leave and like he he didn't he and he go and he literally tries to tell me i said okay well i'm gonna get your information after this and we'll you know we'll do whatever we have to do after this because i really felt like it was just unjust i was it was less than a minute like i mean come on but and he was like well you don't have to stick around all the information is going to be sent to the the address we have on file i said no i said you're you're keeping me here because i want to make sure that i get all the information that i need to do what i need to do and i kept asking him i said what's your name and he goes all the information's gonna be on the ticket i said okay then i'll wait for the ticket he goes you don't have to it'll be made available to you i said no i'm gonna wait for the ticket so i waited for the ticket it's printed out it prints out he gives it to me and starts walking away back to his car and i look at the ticket his name is nowhere on there i go excuse me your name's not on here he ignores me i said i'm having to follow him to his car now he's not out he's walking away without without like him giving your name my car is still parked in the illegal spot as a result of him and i said your name is not on here and he points to the serial number of the ticket and said that's all the information that you need and i said no i need your name and then he hits his chest because his name is like embroidered on his vest or whatever he's wearing yeah it's a power trip he literally did not give me his name he's a parking ticket to person let me let me let me bring this up so say you got your ticket he drives off how long are you allowed to have your car sit there with a already printed that's what my mom said she doesn't matter you should have ran errands in the in the area because you want to write you a ticket they yeah you can just leave it there for however long you got so many tickets i could just put on my dash but it's great it's crazy it's like if that's the case then what's the what's the point then right what's the point you're clearly not you're not you're not doing it so that i vacate the premises because this ticket will ensure that i can stay at this process nobody's safe for safety right you're doing it because i can if it was above you if it was a problem you would have had a tow truck come and tow the [ __ ] car out of there but you have it yeah because it's not that big of an issue and that's not me in a cash crap i got a ticket i got a ticket once outside of my apartment and i actually won this one i did i i usually don't i'm like okay you're right i'm wrong i'll pay whatever um i got a ticket and i looked at the entire block it was a really long block i looked down there's not one sign for anything and i'm like oh my i won this is it like i won and i grabbed the ticket i took pictures that there was no signs anywhere i uh online they said like submit pictures or whatever or whatever i sent the pictures and to this day like i haven't had a confirmation that it went through or anything they just like didn't have me they dropped it yeah they didn't no apologies when they got nothing to say right they dropped my i got a speeding ticket um when we're on our way to san diego yeah we never heard back from i never got it i they they printed like i got stopped by the car we were yeah we we had a little road trip uh at night and i just was going a little faster than i was supposed to and he stopped me he gave me a ticket and i never i never he never put it in he never put it in huh so crazy it's probably the beginning of the month no no no it was it was it was a month ago it was about how long was it so we were we were running down to get last minute stuff for cremoda right so we had to run down to san diego yeah yeah and on the way down there we were like 10 minutes from being there dude it's all it's always like that you're on a road trip it's always the last [ __ ] few minutes like pulled up behind us he was hiding oh there was another time where i was going to um see jersey shore i was going down to seaside with my family i had my brother and his girlfriend in the car with me and then my mom and my sister it doesn't matter anyway i was following the car in front of me to go to the beach and i'm driving down i don't have the gps she does so i'm making sure i'm following her we're on the freeway and i lose her for a little bit and i'm trying to figure out if she exits or not and i'm like oh i don't know if she was supposed to exit here i don't know like where she is so the i didn't want to miss the exit so i pulled into that little like you know when it merges i pulled into there because because there was a cop i felt safe okay i thought there was your phone no that was the first right i know but i felt like it was okay like he was already pulled in he was doing whatever i pulled behind okay if he does though but you can't pull right i pulled behind him to call my mom i'm not gonna do it while driving like obviously so i pull behind him i go on the phone and i'm like i'm like calling my mom and he finishes up what he's doing comes straight to my window and like starts just like being such a hard ass and i'm like i'm literally following my mom we're like five minutes from the beach i'm like i'm following my mom to the beach like i have my brother in the car like i didn't know where she was like and he thought that i was trying to cut the line onto the exit and i was like i'm f i'm on the phone with my mom like i'm following her and he and i gave him the story and i was like so nice about it and even like my brother's girlfriend was like we are i was like 18 like i was a kid i was young and he like didn't give me the time of day wrote me the ticket and he was like you can't still wrote you a take out i had to pay a ticket yeah oh my god wow it was crazy i also had a cop situation where i was following a cop because i because um i was following a cop on the highway and i was going the same speed as him because i was thinking as long as i'm going as fast as the cop in front of me i should be fine he didn't have his sirens on so he should not be on his way anywhere or like there's no emergency so he's just driving can't be that fast so i'm going as fast as him and a cop goes behind me and pulls me over now it doesn't make sense pulls me over and goes you're going too fast and i went i'm going i was going just as fast as the cop in front of me and he didn't have his sirens on he goes you're not it doesn't matter you're not you shouldn't be going to stop they think they're above the line and he didn't he didn't mention that he was on his way well he wasn't because his sirens weren't on cops when they don't have their sirens on they're not on their way to anywhere i don't even need to look that up because that's [ __ ] true if you don't have your sirens on you're not on your way anywhere yeah unless it's an emergency and they never use their turn signal it makes me so mad they're very dangerous drivers it's crazy dude who i don't know who was in the car i lit the [ __ ] out of the cop in front of me at the red light when it went green wait dude the cop was at the light and it turned green and he wasn't and it was i was waiting oh yeah yeah this is yesterday and i just thought he wasn't a cop he wasn't going to give a [ __ ] you're not paying attention he didn't go it was a good like he was sitting there for like six seconds i was showing you two emotions in front of him in front of police right oh i would not honk in a couple i think he was sitting for 12 seconds no i should piss me off what also was funny there was a car in front of us between the cop and us so we were just pictured the people was like like sweating like oh my god they have a warrant for their arrest and they're just between oh so there's a car between you there was a little like little red car i might have done it then you're like we have to get to kylie jenner's head safety thing i remember the first time this is one more pull-over story the first time i got pulled over i had just gotten my license so i took my brother and sister to like wing night on a tuesday night and i was driving back and i was in my parents minivan and i was going slow because i had just got my license i was being safe and somebody was riding my ass but for a really long time like over a mile a really really long time so i was like embarrassed so i like started speeding up the second i sped up lights oh my gosh oh and it was the it was it was like undercover up my ass and i'm like do i go faster so i just started going faster i was above the speed limit by like 10. any normal person would go faster when someone's riding around yeah that's anybody i was embarrassed and i bet you mariah it was the end of the month because he never hit a [ __ ] quote and that [ __ ] is [ __ ] that they had these quotas they needed me every month because i was like i i started crying right away because i was so scared i never experienced anything like that i started crying and we were only 10 minutes from my house so he had me call my parents to come get the car and they were laughing at me and they were just like trying to like laugh with the cop and he just didn't care he was just like there's a warning like didn't care at all my parents were like oh my gosh you're just stupid half those [ __ ] have a power trip and it's so bad so bad i i will say like i've had a lot of bad experiences but i have had a lot of good ones me too i've had really good ones and really [ __ ] bad ones yeah it's just a person yeah it's the person yeah it's like you don't know what they went through that day i understand that like the whole like wedding thing or whatever you know if he just got a divorce he's pissed off right that's what i did all right i was like you know what i've been i've been like honestly i've been like when i see people like freak out or have that like i and now i'm just kind of like yeah i'm understanding of it i've been more understanding people the benefit of the doubt yeah yeah honestly the best thing you could do ever in life is just kill people with kindness oh i was like where is that you should have spread that only thing is killing point blank no kill them with kindness just yeah i completely understand i was a hundred percent more mad like yeah i've i've done stupid [ __ ] in the past that i should have been in a lot of trouble for and i was just like honest like i've been probably like you feel lucky oh yeah yeah it might i could have been bad bad but just like yeah i i did this yes i agree it is wrong and i shouldn't have that's why and even if you don't it's just you just do it just do it and it like it's just taking the high road honestly that's why it's extra it stings extra when like you do lead with that like i totally left i totally led with that i was like hey i'm so sorry is there an issue and he's told me the issue and i said i'm so sorry i'm leaving when you open up being nice like right when you open up being nice and you're just shut down and you're like it's not the person it's the person like that's just the type of person that yeah yeah it's not even in a nice way of like yeah i'm so sorry like things happen like i'm gonna have to give you a ticket for this whatever he wasn't even trying to like be nice about it i was just like you're because yeah it's hitting his face because they're gonna they're gonna leave maybe they're gonna leave not like in the end of the day whether you're nice or or not nice they're not gonna feel leaving bad no they're not gonna leave feeling better they're not gonna they're not gonna feel leaving bad right they're not that's right the first time they're good i should wrote that down he is going to leave feeling like he has just the biggest dick and he is like the biggest man like like he's on a [ __ ] samurai pill exactly like he just popped for him you know what it do make you feel like that [ __ ] and that's why i bought a whole box it do make you feel like that [ __ ] get over yourself the pill on the back says do not exceed do you want to feel like you just wrote somebody a parking ticket do you want to feel like a meter maid in power meter maid try one of these want to feel like you're as big as a meter order now order now order 50 on order order 50 of them do i take them all we got them for some callers guys let's do a couple all right first question koalas hi guys my name is michaela i'm from staten island and i just wanted to start off by saying my friend olivia and i love the podcast and look forward to new episodes every week my question is for everyone what holiday traditions are you guys most excited for as the holidays begin to approach just wanted to say thank you for this opportunity and love you guys love you to michaela holiday tuitions traditions traditions what holiday tuition that's what i heard that's why i heard that that's why i was like tuition michaela you gotta enunciate more just kidding okay i'm like very good question my favorite holiday tuition is college doing them i heard staten island yeah um i don't i'm listening i don't have any and i know that sounds so [ __ ] boring i we don't really have anything boring i used to have a lot i was gonna say when you lived at home you didn't have any either no growing up our whole family used to get together for like thanksgiving and christmas and that was like what i would look forward to all year oh i mean we do that too is that a tradition yes we used to go to my grandma's house every year and that was like really fun for me i love being in my grandma's house because like my grandma's house is like almost like it looks like a cottage i don't know it like it like oh that that is incredible it felt like christmas so that was like something we did as kids and then we like kind of stopped it sucks getting older because i feel like traditions just die it's just do you think smaller do you think little kids right now are getting christmas like we used to i don't think so i don't know i wonder that too i'm one i wonder if like because parents could try to just be like oh god whatever it's this kind it's this type of year it's not going to be great or they could try to combat that and be like i'm going to try to give my kid the most magical christmas i posted 2020 is definitely different because of like covet obviously like people aren't getting together like normal i heard that there was this kit it was probably a facebook post i don't even know if it's real but there was this kid apparently that was like asking his parents like okay but mommy daddy is it safe that santa's going to all these houses because what if he gets cold and brings it to our house that's so sad for a kid to have to think about that yeah that's why you have santa come in in a hazmat suit yeah in a red and white hazmat suit that'd be cute his uniform needs an update honey a little big fuzzy mask only thing is [ __ ] santa on the fire truck that's all i had where where did what happened yeah santa came on a fire truck for us on a fire truck board down the street you can throw candy canes right yeah i've never heard of this not every town does it like not every neighbor neighborhood does i think it's certain your mom's a firefighter i know oh yeah i mean she's 100 gonna know like have you ever been she's on she's hungry she's sleeping she's three hours ahead she goes zayn i've played mrs claus for the past seven christmases all right guys well that's it for today's episode thank you so much for watching if you want to listen to the audio it's going to be on spotify and apple or any other playlist you guys go to and the video is every single tuesday on youtube.com zane and he thank you and make sure to check out our coffee we our pre-orders are out right now on macromoto.com so make sure to check it out we have three flavors we have two sheets lock in your spot while you can baby uh anything you guys want to say before we roll out all right all righty then we'll see you next week love you guys

Channel: Zane and Heath: UNFILTERED

Views: 936,145

Rating: 4.9320803 out of 5

Keywords: coffee talk, unfiltered, views, podcast, vlog squad, david dobrik, zane and heath, zane hijazi, heath hussar, vlogger, funny, vlog, natalie, todd, scott, matt king, mariah amato, mariah and matt, carly and erin, celebrity, vs, addison, tiktik, tik tok, girlfriend, kenny, set, new, season 2, stassiebaby, tiktok

Id: wBvFbdee1cM

Length: 85min 13sec (5113 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 15 2020