Heath Was Wrongfully Accused For A Crime - UNFILTERED #68

this podcast is brought to you by hellofresh hellofresh's contact free delivery is always convenient especially this past year sign up right now you're going to get 10 free meals and free shipping when you go to hellofresh.com 10 unfiltered and use code 10 unfiltered thank you hellofresh let's talk about [Music] is that a real song yeah let's talk about sex did you ever just like cringe when like a song would come on it would have sex on it when you were a kid no just you i just i got i got giddy i thought i was like i got excited you see when i heard i was just [Laughter] that's why when wap came out it just kind of like re it spoke to me yeah i just understood i know we just get each other me and [ __ ] yeah me and cardi you know when zayn first when when you first played me your cover of [ __ ] i thought like you actually wrote the lyrics you'd never heard that before that like i thought the chorus was the same as like the wet ass [ __ ] song but like i thought zayn was like oh and i was like a lot of people a lot of people hit me up saying that wow like they they actually have never like listened to the lyrics like they actually didn't know what the lyrics were until they heard my song was like oh [ __ ] that's crazy because i like i say it like very slowly and clearly enunciate it but yeah it is like my my like i think my cousins or my family they when they heard that they thought i wrote it they thought like that that's what i thought it was like who is this vulgar poet inside zane vulgar poet like imagine not knowing that was a real song and like your family member is sending it to other family members like do you see what zayn's doing now like have you seen his dad what's your son up to this is his latest video that does sound like something that lonely islands would come up with yeah lonely island yes i'm on a boat i miss them so much they were so good i just had sex i just had sex and it felt so good it did all right well let's get this episode started baby [Music] [Music] wow they're getting really lazy no we gotta keep the tradition alive do you guys do the same moves every time we try and try i try not to but like it ends up being the same thing we know like three though and we kind of recycle them okay i'm either just shaking my ass or doing the whip so we've kind of added a new variation like we you know we start big juice the funny juice the funny and then it gets very small then just in the hands and then just oh nice oh and now we're now we're saving it and we're putting in our pocket saving it for a rainy day all right get going lose each other was that was that a like a uh like a nursery rhyme like a princess diaries that's how that's what it's from but i think it is like a song people yeah it is i don't know from princess oh i was thinking to zip it lock it put it in your pocket mariah knows a bunch of those too well you guys your teacher never told you that that sounds like a brick wall waterfall yeah you think you got it all they would just be like zip it lock it no put it in your pocket um so if you guys don't know uh some of you don't know but matt is permanently back yeah he did recover from his bicycle accident at jimmy john's finally have i recovered i would say yes am i healed no does it still hurt um occasionally it's this weird kind of uh phantom nerve feeling so oh we should start a gofundme for him i don't i don't need to go fund me yours goes over the texas uh gofundme fund for [Laughter] more money no um but to clarify for the people who are listening um back towards the end of my first chapter being a part of unfiltered i had a really bad uh injury with a bike i was walking outside of a jimmy john's in north hollywood and if you're familiar with the area be very careful because there's a total blind spot when you walk out of the jimmy john's there these big uh concrete columns and i was with mike i got my italian nightclub and with the cake and ranch and we and i walked outside i walked outside and a guy on his bike was speeding like a bicycle not a motorcycle a bicycle was speeding down the sidewalk and colliding what would you define as speeding yeah he's probably feeling really good right now saying that someone he was speeding on a bicycle like on uh well once a total blind spot so it may have not been going that fast but it was fast enough to knock me on the ground that's a tall guy i mean it was just a lot like being so low and clipping his feet out from him he was going fast enough where it knocked him out of the first quarter of the second season it was painful you know the grape lady like the woman who's like smash stomping on the grapes on tv that was me when i fell i was like oh and uh i really injured my hand um they did an mri uh i had fractured the hook of my handmate that's good crazy and but it wasn't that severe of a fracture and over time it's gradually healed but i never got it fixed i'm gonna i'm gonna be honest with you i had never laughed so hard when i saw you put a mask on your hands that's all yes remember when he was he posted a story and he had like a face mask wrapped around his hand i had to use with what i had to cover up my hand because you can it's hard to find bandages that stick on your hand very well i mean i could have ace wrapped it but you took it off your face and put it on your hand yeah i put the band-aids on and then put the mask around and i made a little makeshift bandage okay all right i macgyvered it okay so um i've healed but like there's a little chunk of bone that's still floating around in my hand do you feel it uh sometimes probably for the camera three three out guys send him your prayers please he he's gonna need all the love and support i just don't think i'm gonna go through with the surgery because it's not that severe but i think sometimes i'll just feel something on my hand and i have to like shake it loose um but that's why i was gone but i am permanently back that's where my money is gone i'm not that's why we let him go excuse every episode guys he he started his own poshmark channel and he's finally back he was busy doing that really involved in his d-pop you have a d-pod um i buy things on d-pop all the time i haven't started one but i am soon patricia's trying to set it up for me i bought this one i bought this off yeah oh did you vintage i love going like on i just like to search ll bean and like newly listed because usually that's when someone's nice stuff selling someone's just trying to sell it really fast and i just pop it i can't do shopping i just i can't like even depop like i'm not able to like look for clothes yeah you're not a shopper you don't know how i i i could go into a store and i'll walk out with nothing or i'll walk out with something i'll never wear you just need to tell yourself that you like it i do but then i never yeah you don't want to change into it that's the thing yeah he won't go want to buy something but he'll buy a 800 burberry jacket okay that was like that was like a good seven years ago gucci [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah exactly keith and i were getting badoo jobs back in the vine days and i remember i had some money our first like good size check from vine we were like oh we are doing [ __ ] we were it was like a reoccurring chuck a check it was it was pretty like unbelievable at the time like we were doing vines and months in we're like oh my god there's a steady income like badoo is hitting us up if you guys don't know what badou is but dude is like this app that was like kind of like tinder it was like a hot or not like a hotter hotter knot which is an awful uh bad marker oh that's horrible yeah yeah he's not hot or not it sounds like a fake made-up like kind of joke version that they would put on a tv show yes yeah like a [ __ ] like a next right like an snl skit hot or not but at least it's very flattering that someone thinks you're hot and they don't just like you yeah that's true yeah for my looks not my personality yeah but yeah we're making a lot of money so i was like damn i'm gonna buy myself a burberry i don't know why we did that i just went to a burberry store it was like the first time i've ever walked into a store like that and i was like i'll do that one i never wore it but this military green puffed like quilting wow it didn't look anything more than like fifty dollars this this this jacket it looks like an old navy just kind of yeah well i kept that burberry bag like the the paper bag for like a year do you guys keep the apple boxes yeah do you guys like have this weird tendency to keep apple boxes or like really nice bags they're too nice in there that's my like spare charger so i keep it in there and when i need to use it i'll take it out and i'll throw the box yeah did you like ever hear that from like your dad like always keep the boxes yes my dad still has our cell phone boxes it has it's the dokey no because because you want to like return it like what's the point i guess so it's just like the proper thing to do is to keep the boxes but i've just learned just to get rid of it immediately it just takes up space but it's weird we have that like instinct to like oh i gotta hold on an entire desk drawer full of apple product boxes like sometimes i'll hide things in them like jewelry and stuff before okay don't tell the secrets i mean they're they're high quality they're really nice boxes where's the apple [Laughter] high quality [ __ ] man that isn't yeah it is a weird thing to do i know i think it just screams like just middle class just trying to save money when i had braces they sold these little wax strips that you can yeah if it was poking you if the wires were poking you if it hurt inside of your mouth you take a little bit of the wax that you buy you put in there my mom didn't want to buy it they were probably like two dollars she didn't want to buy it so she got me those wax juice candies are you [ __ ] kidding me tina i just used this it worked it was wax it was the same consistency she was like i'm not buying that here you get a candy out of it and it's cheaper it looks like you see your air pod case that's what it the wax looks like inside you open it up and there was like four strips and you would use that my mom's like [ __ ] that i i would my brother had braces but i would like take his and use them for like little magic tricks oh oh like i would take the wax and like you like stick a card on the other side of the window and then my babysitter would come over and i'm like you want to see a trick and i'd be like where's the two of clubs and i throw the deck and i and i'd pull the blinds up and it would be like outside suck on i don't know why as a kid i always wanted braces for some reason we all did until you had them i wanted braces and glasses and then i got those and nobody talked to me yeah i ha the one thing i got was a retainer like the one that goes the little oh yeah but man [ __ ] like food would get in there and get stuck in there like one time i ate a salad and a lettuce a whole [ __ ] lettuce went in i couldn't i couldn't take it out and it was it was like a see there was caesar dressing on the lettuce it was just stuck there and i told my i told my parents everything and we couldn't like go to the dentist i had to wait till like i like went to go get it titan in like a month that's a weird look you're growing like a whole harvest up there it's coming out of here there should be like a garbage disposal switch that like lines up whatever gets stuck in there yeah but i remember i would like talk to girls in class and like you know i have a retainer and i want to go and then it's an american flag glitter a design you put an american because they only have like three options like a dinosaur [Laughter] can you go everybody did the pledge of allegiance [Laughter] yeah i remember i wanted glasses so bad too i used to sing you know how they said like don't sit close to the tv when you're growing up you did it on purpose i did it on purpose i would sit this close because i thought glasses were the coolest thing i know i'm gonna make my eyes go bad and i'm gonna get the glasses and you did and i sure did when did you get glasses well my mom didn't believe me that i needed it probably because she saw me sitting at the tv like doing the thing and uh yeah she didn't believe me my entire life and like i was like i know i need them like i can't your dad and mom never needed glasses no they have incredible eyesight so yeah they just didn't believe me until i went to go i started wrestling in high school and i had to get a physical and like an eye exam to like prove that i was what i don't i don't i know you wrestled in high school yeah yeah you wrestled dude yeah is this when you were you were like heavy did it hurt i wrestled my diet i was having a hard time um i weighed 135 okay that's what i wrestled wasn't your hair long couldn't someone just go come here i had to wear a hair net i had to wear like that like i literally had to wear like this i could do a do-rag but then i had to like flip it and like tie it and like then i'd put my headgear on top of it okay or you just like teased it up and like cut it open right so i had to get my physical and get my eye exam and i i didn't pass and my mom was like okay do the test again let's go we don't have time for this i was like no i actually can't see so the doctor called her in and like put up the eye exam thing that you like looked through and made it so it was my vision so when she looks through it she would see what i would see oh oh i didn't even know you oh i didn't know that was it yeah yeah so if you like if you like look at somebody you put some of these glasses on you'll see basically like what their vision is does that make sense i've heard of that i didn't think it was true though yeah so basically they just like put the lenses in that little contraption and she looked through it and she like she she broke down she was like i'm so sorry like i didn't [Laughter] normally our parents believe their children uh here um yeah so uh she she finally saw what i saw and then i got my glasses so when you go to the wrestling matches did you have to wear like athletic goggles with your hair there's clear ones no i actually uh got the glasses real quick and then they put me on contacts for if i was wrestling okay cool yeah did you ever have to go in and do the uh almost the video game test where you look at a little black square and you have a little controller and then oh you have to click you have to click when you see like a little blurry thing in the corner no the world's hardest your vision and you're gameplay and then you would you would put the headphones on when you would hear it you would put yes going up like so were they like some old school ass headphones yeah they were like beige why were they doing it in school because you have some parents who are like denying that something's wrong with their kids i'd pretend i'd pretend i don't know how to write i just so i got a laptop all the time i'm like having a laptop was fun in class no i've never had a laptop i didn't get a laptop i remember when flat screens first came to the school and they told you not to touch it because it was just oh yeah i was like what do you mean jelly like is my hand gonna go through it like i just didn't understand it the only memory i have was the big clear and then like the neon green or the orange macbook or mac like yeah we would get those in middle school like what do you mean no the big like it was the desktop the old desktop that was like clear and it had like orange like little like accents or like like the old imacs yeah yeah but they had the laptops too that would they would have for us i never got a laptop yeah didn't get through oh you got a plantation metal that's why we had to go [ __ ] i remember our science teacher we were doing an experiment with magnets and this was like the third grade and was like this is a magnet these are very serious do not go up to the computer yes and put these to it and he goes don't go up and then he did it like right to the computer and it like the computer shut down and everything because he was just trying to explain like don't go up to the right on it so funny that's really funny i can imagine the students like oh were your laptops in school like why didn't you bring up these laughs we didn't have laptops well i always remember there was a little cursor ball thing in the middle right like a little felt cursor it was like that little felt thing in the middle of the keyboard yeah you could use as a cursor right oh i think a little never mind remember we were talking the other day about how we had to make brochures in school yes [Laughter] like having to make a brochure you got to pick a topic and they would give you like a template of oh and you'd have to like fold it and like make it yes this is what the cover looks like the first flap should be the most important information why would they make it do that brochure i thought they were we were going to be traveling yeah sure not to make a damn good bro i think i think i made one for my family that was like like why i deserve a dirt bike and i just went home like no i made a venn diagram wanting stuff we were not prepared for life throughout our 12 years of [ __ ] school that's a shame what a show i'm gonna i'm just gonna homeschool my kid josie you haven't paid your taxes in six years okay let me explain to you why i don't know this is why i'm sure to pass out to everybody and a powerpoint presentation so these are my expenses so you can see the overlap right here in the center this is where i didn't want to pay these i didn't want to pay do you think why don't they teach taxes in school well he's made a good point i think it's just because it keeps you in this [ __ ] like dumb bubble oh yeah that or i think there's a sensitivity towards it maybe well too bad you got it because everybody's it's like everybody's got a picture yeah can you imagine though if your kid though comes from from school and is like dad have you paid your taxes let me take a look at those 10.99 you know dad that's a tax deduction to audit you guys that's something they should teach in high school high school you're about to be like an adult you know like you're about to like get a job and all this [ __ ] so they should teach you that [ __ ] in like 11th grade 12th grade they should have told me to get a credit card when i was in high school but they did i did not know how to get a credit card remember when we first moved out here i couldn't get [ __ ] because i didn't have you couldn't get a credit card because you didn't have a credit card to show that you can have a credit card you got to get lucky enough to find one person that will just give you the card without any credit like yeah like victoria's secret like it was something random i had a credit card and i never used it because i thought you're not supposed to use credit cards and i could afford i could afford the credit card i could pay it off every month but i did it because i thought credit cards were bad and i used a debit card every time i still use it you're taught as a kid to like only spend what you have like if you have the money that's what you spend so in a credit card is not how that works you spend money that like is pretty much not from your account yes you pay it later but like that's we were just taught to do it you better be able to buy it do you remember that commercial where the guy was like you put on my credit card and he's like in the limo and just like and he's like so that commercial mess with me it was like don't use a credit card because those things happen awful just a guy buying all this expensive [ __ ] and putting it on his credit card but like he can't afford it yeah weird now now i use credit everywhere because i would like to buy things oh i'm obsessed with credit card points like every time before i buy something i've never reached a credit card i've never used points for anything oh really yeah i've been saving mine for japan those points are now erased because of the pandemic you'll get it inspired you're gonna have to redo square one i finessed some points my mom did say though never use your points for like a cashback no like to like put it towards like paying off the bill usually don't put it yeah don't use it as like cash what do you what do you mean by that like if you have points you could redeem them for like a cash stay at a hotel or whatever like you could do yeah or you can be like use points towards paying the bill really great to use points whenever you're buying a flight that would normally be very very cheap and for some reason it's the last minute so expensive you're like this is a time to use points because it's absurd i'm paying this much do you have to use your points at a certain time or does it all just collect throughout the years i don't know i think some have different thresholds that's a good question yeah one time like i think i did look at my points for my credit card and it said something like 15 off of some groupon thing that of to a place i've never been to or would never go to so i was like okay well points suck i guess my card i'm sorry i just never went back amex [ __ ] my credit uh yeah i couldn't buy my i couldn't buy a car because amx doesn't like actually there's a difference between like all right we're gonna get technical there's a difference between my mom works for american express so so and she did yeah guys so facts so there's a difference between like a credit card and a charge card so i got an mx gold card yes and i was like my first credit card i'm gonna do this um i actually had a chase before that but it was like a thousand dollar limit right yeah and then my amex gold card didn't have a limit it was just whatever you spend you just pay it in full at the end of the month you should some people pay them no you you have to oh so there's no limit so on my credit report it only showed that i had a thousand dollar limit because my one card was a thousand and my amex was just not like whatever so i was spending more than a thousand dollars on my credit or my my amex card and it showed that i was going over a hundred percent of my credit allowance even though i was paying it in full every month it showed that i was irresponsible with my my credit allowance so i was dude i dropped like over a hundred points in a couple months from using this card and i was just like i had no idea i was like here i am i'm like i don't get my credit no and you're paying you're paying the [ __ ] on time someone's listening to this right now and it's hitting the brakes oh my god amex cancel my car yeah be careful with the charge with the amx charge cards because i ran into that too same thing as heath yeah oh you you're just making the phone gesture do you see people asking their kids like yeah you're talking on the phone and they do this or this oh yeah younger kids will go like this oh they do i'm sorry we studied pantomime in pantomime we studied pantomiming in theater in high school very seriously have the objectives so like if you're gonna like drink a cup you would you would grab the cup and you'd drink it then you'd put it back where it was and you could always go back oh yes oh like a little man when you play beer drinking games right but if you had a phone you wouldn't hold a phone like this like this is bad panther got it you would do it very good imagination yeah that's how like you would hold it yeah yeah yeah so i sorry that's just drilled in my brain not to do this but i guess if i was just joking with you guys about being on the couch but my instinct is to do that yeah just to be like yeah i wish i took theater i took acting for like a year did you hold on did you see their the the other one that's like the phone but they go uh show me taking a picture and like they'll ask like an older person and they're like this and they'll ask like a younger kid and they're like show me taking a picture and they go like this oh yeah oh wow it's really weird weird i mean who [ __ ] takes pictures of those cameras though like not like a dslr but like that like that but it's just that that's our instinct to like yeah this is this is still like use the uh volume up button as the well i mean we still do because this dyspo which is taken this way defeats the whole purple just a disposable camera you know it is fun though i do i do enjoy it there's something about waking up the next morning and like the camaraderie of everybody being like the pictures are up and then everybody's just like going through yeah well what's funny about dyspo is that like we took so many pictures that night in the cabin in tahoe and you know we were just all so drunk we were just taking a bunch of pictures and the next day we're like oh my god it's up and it's just delete it delete it that's what makes it so funny it's that like it's the moment where it hits and it develops and you're like oh my god what the [ __ ] what pictures did we take and then everybody in like that role that you're in can you see what you took that night that you uploaded to that exactly it says who took which picture yeah oh oh yeah it reminds me of that scene in hangover when they just like find the camera and they're like what the [ __ ] yes exactly what happened last time they go through everything like this reminds me of that that's what it feels like yeah um so i got my uh adhd medication uh i got my i got my whole thing i forgot what it's called it's like eddie-ness or some [ __ ] but the doctor uh prescribed to me he's like this um 90 of my patients that take this completely changes their life i was like oh [ __ ] yeah i'm like let's go i'm ready to that's wrong pop this pill pop these firecrackers pop these pills let me get back to work baby so i wake up i was so excited i waited two days because i was like i had to prepare my body for this experience you know so i wake up this trip it was like those fast rapid release like little pills you put on your tongue and put it on my tongue i was like um let's go let's go baby so i went to work out i felt really jittery and i worked out and then i went home and i was like okay and then by 2 p.m i i was completely it was like done like i just felt lethargic i was just like [ __ ] i feel like what i normally feel like now this sucks what's going on i'm gonna change my life that's what i thought too and i know like you're supposed to like kind of let it work like you have to do how yeah but i really did i was like getting [ __ ] done but like i was just like oh my god it is not i don't feel it right now i just felt a little jittery in the morning and it went away and then i took it for the next few days and it still didn't work so i was just like maybe i'm not taking enough so i was like ooh let me take two so i put two on my tongue i was just like it's going to work it's going to work i know and all of a sudden like it i just felt like just something took over baby i thought i owed i i owed all this medication i was i was freaking out i remember walking up to scott's house because i was good this is when you came and i saw you yeah dude you looked rough this medication is supposed to like skyrocket your anxiety but like it didn't really the days i was taking it first but when i when i doubled those it was like through the [ __ ] roof i remember walking up to scott's house and i saw like there was like five people there uh that day and i was i looked over the wall i'm like oh [ __ ] i don't i don't want to talk to anybody i don't want to talk to anybody so i'm like walking up walking and all of a sudden scott takes out his camera and just starts pointing at me and i'm just like oh [ __ ] and i'm like talking to jason and he's still pointing the camera at me which is completely okay but like that day i was freaking out it's like it's like when you're high and don't want people to know yeah yeah are looking away and it like seems even weirder i look at scott and i was just like can you get that camera out of my face and i didn't like i don't like and i remember he was just like oh and i remember it just completely just shot him down and i was just like and i remember just thinking about that the whole day like i didn't apologize to him in the moment because i was just like i just was just freaking out so i was working out and i just remember thinking about it i went home and i kept on thinking about it i'm like oh my god this is bad this is bad like i [ __ ] hate this i call my doctor i'm just like what do i do i i took two is this gone what's your emergency is it's gonna go away he's like you just gotta drink a lot of water blah blah and i get a facetime from zayn and i'm like wait isn't he in the house and it's like sitting on his toilet in his bathroom and he goes like i think i took too much and i'm like i'm like i'm like slow down i'm like how much did you take and he's like i took two of them and i'm like and i know the medication he's taking and i'm like you're gonna be fine you're gonna be fine you're just right now you're really focused i i felt like i took that weed cookie that one day at the apartment it was just like i felt like it wasn't gonna go away and i was like [ __ ] i was like saying go go work out go run he's like i just did it that's what focus feels like oh really it seems like an invisible person well i've been focused on my life then this is crazy it's like painful to focus like i just can't stop listening to people they're pouring people out the problem with those types of medications though is fixation and sometimes you can fixate on something like too much and too strongly like for you is the anxiety and like overthinking like how you reacted and interacted with scott or whatever and that like sends you down a spiral yeah sometimes you like you take adderall and then you spend like a whole hour on facebook being like i've been missing out i got it this is when i realized that this medication [ __ ] me up that day so that night i was in my bed and i was just wired it was like 1 30 in the morning i was like oh i'm not getting to sleep tonight i go and i'm like oh i need something to do download sugar crush okay i download sugar crush that's why that's how you know it's a problem look wait i'm playing the game and i i lose all my lives and i'm like i gotta keep going he's just he's buying extras guys i mean give me another round baby guess how much money i spent that night on sugar crush not more than ten dollars a hundred and fifty dollars oh my god 150 [ __ ] dollars because i couldn't get past the next level uh what do you buy i don't get it gems baby it was crazy i was just like oh my god this is bad i i i so i was like i need it i need i i stopped playing the game and i was like i need to play another game right farm bill i was like you know what i need to play another game i was like ooh i'm gonna play monopoly i re-download monopoly games what uh oh he knew he was gonna be up for a while you were playing what did i got for the next six hours you were possessing here's the thing about the monopoly it's a it's a good game because it's a game about life baby you know it teaches you how to pay your taxes teaches you how to rent how to lease how to how to you know flip houses and [ __ ] why don't we play monopoly in school more it teaches you how to get out of jail it's capitalism you got to roll three doubles it teaches you all that fun [ __ ] and we played the game going to jail and it's it's crazy what it's crazy about this game because like in real life it's really sad when people like lose their houses or like you know they lose all their money or whatever but if you have a monopoly oh it's a bloodbath you know you just want to like see people [ __ ] burn just burn to the ground and it's fake money how much real money you put in it's monopoly money how much real money he played the realistic version with like hundreds of thousands of dollars i put my actual house in the game like i somehow put miles zane's over there he's like he puts his car keys up did you beat the computer of course i did or you played like online with people i was playing like with computers i was a [ __ ] mess that night i was playing with bots and i was just like i would like the way out when i was winning i was just like oh [ __ ] yes but it was like bots that i was playing yeah he gets addicted to stuff really easily like that though like i got him into carcassonne and you were that's a good one yeah it's like you like build it sounds really stupid you build roads and castles and you like like settlers of catan or it's similar it's got like these tiles and they have like a river or a road that will go through it and you can have like you have to match it up and then you have to like build the border around the castle and then you close it it's a high brow game i don't play game well i i've spent six hours today setting up trying to hack my oculus quest 2 to play groundhog two the vr video for the past five days he's been like zayn i need to play groundhog day i'm like matt what the [ __ ] day was weeks ago just let it go but they made a vr game that's the sequel of the movie so you know the movie groundhog day the weatherman phil connors is stuck in the same day over and over fast forward to the future present day his son is a youtuber vlogger who has to go to punxsutawney and he finds himself stuck in the same day and he has this whole mystery about like apparently my dad a long time ago was stuck in the same day for years and to change his life and now i'm in it so ev you have to do the same thing every day and interact with people it's pretty fun but i had to hack the system and i did it in the mainframe six hours six hours we are so proud of you but i logged out of your steam account and i don't know your steam password or what your account name is so you guys gotta figure that out or just charging why didn't you make your own account because he was hacking i did but i cleared the download caches and it logged you guys out and zane couldn't remember your password so wait i don't want to switch things up but it's going to drive me up the wall if you don't help me figure this out when he was saying bots it reminded me d i think it was on aim were you able to message bots oh smarter child was that what it was oh you like talk to like just a fake like to a computer there was a bot called smarter child that we would talk to they all had different names like that right okay oh i spilled my feelings to that robot yeah you were yeah it was like the alexa of ais yeah and you really felt like you were talking to somebody just thought i want to know the other names all right only one i knew was smarter child you didn't use it you didn't use like aim i wasn't allowed i couldn't talk to anybody when i first got it none of my friends had it but like my mom's friends did so i would just like message all the money yeah i was only talking to my cousins yeah like hey kelly it's matt she's like hi man we're using aim because we didn't have phones yeah or we had phones it was the first like way of messaging your friends it was faster than like email like i would email my my friends and cousins yeah because i remember i would call their house i remember like being in my friend's house using i am but like at the time i definitely had a phone so like did you yes but the texting was like remember it was like you to press the t9 texting where you press the button three times i had the flip i had to slide up oh but i could only send like tex seven texts you did not get the flip side thing until probably high school yeah i was saying nobody had those types of phones like you had this only people had those were sidekick people in middle school at least hey don't call me no jeez [Laughter] so you actually felt like you odd oh yeah 100 i did not feel well it was like it was too much now you know your limits i do know my limits that was a lot for me too yeah we're good guys you're here that was just a brave story dose responsibly yes and please delete the credit card from your phone so you're not yeah buying this [ __ ] all night but yeah i do have a follow-up appointment so i'm going to switch up my medications so i'll tell you my necklace i'm excited zayn loves this [ __ ] i do it's like wine tasting but for it is it's like i'm trying to change my life and i need if i need to find the right path i just want to be drugged up all the time you know what i mean yeah i feel like i'm in i'm in a point right now where i'm just like i need this drug in order to ha to have a better life and that's such a bad mindset just like i'm not going to be able to like continue my life in a good way without this drug and i think you'll use it for a while and then kind of weaned off of it definitely like i did a lot in college and now i rarely do it yeah yeah or i'll just start doing heroin so before we continue we want to give a big thank you to our sponsor of this podcast hellofresh with hellofresh you get fresh pre-measured ingredients and seasonal recipes right to your front door so skip the trips to the grocery store hellofresh makes cooking easy fun and affordable at home and that's why it's america's number one meal kit and eating healthier has never been easier with their low cal carb smart vegetarian and pescatarian options every week baby they got something for everybody exactly cut down on those grocery bills what's great about hellofresh is that it's so customizable you could choose your delivery date food preferences and even skip a week if you want off guys i've been on a huge health kick lately i've lost 40 pounds now okay baby give me a call all right all right so i've been eating hello fresh a 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thank you so much hellofresh i look great now a body by hellofresh so mariah yeah you went to a wedding tell us all about it okay i didn't it was it's her parents wedding i literally just had zayn write down wedding i'll know what it means so you went to a wedding you went to a wedding last week right your parents just got married my parents congratulations um so i came across this tick tock and it was a wedding video and the the caption was i can't believe they put this in without consent and it was like the bride and groom walking down the aisle and then it cuts to a clip of sesame street characters turning around and like the audience like cheering like i know you're confused i'll show you i'll show you what like they put the editor put this in without telling the bride and groom like hey right we're gonna put this in and it was like their actual wedding like video so it's like sesame street characters walking down the aisle no so i'll show them they're walking down the aisle and then it cuts to [Laughter] like in the wedding video just like an edit because that's a wedding in the sesame street like show no no it's the issue in the wedding no but it was like a wedding in the sesame street show like they took a clip they took a clip from the session or it's the muppets i know i know that but in the muppet show was it like a wedding going on probably yes and they cut it in there wait and they did it without their consent i mean that's what they said so i was watching it and i was cracking up i thought it was so funny and then i'm like why don't i think this is weird and then i thought i was like oh i text my parents i said am i crazy or is this same thing in your wedding video her parents like film everything they have videos of yeah like they're live so they sent me clips like 10 minutes later of their wedding video they have the same [ __ ] they have the mustache they have a cinderella scene they have a robin hood scene and they have a [ __ ] it's what and i talked to my mom about it i was like what like this is so funny but i find it like a little bit normal and then i was reading the tick tock comments every comment was like my aunt had the same thing my uncle had the same thing it was a thing in the 90s like it was probably like you got the muppets like how could they put that in your wedding video look at us we love like filters and like adding like weird clips and stuff back then it was like do you want like a little funny package of us adding in reaction shots of different parts of culture it makes sense no it doesn't yes it does it sends back that like my parents said like there's a scene of the robin hood scene where like the the guy and girl kiss and they freeze frame it but it's freeze framed for like 15 seconds like a really long time then it fades to my parents kissing but it was so long but my mom was like back then it wasn't long it was like wait for it wait it was exciting [Laughter] like you couldn't get edit anything edited personally like that unless it was a movie so it was crazy to see what the [ __ ] titles were different it's just in there [Laughter] oh my gosh it just cuts to are you [ __ ] cinderella that's so weird and then it's like the whole scene oh my god like minutes worth so then this was impressive and they lived happily ever after and then it fades to my parents i don't get it i'm no i don't it's zero percent i understand that even back then it worked though so it was a different time it was a different time it makes no sense oh my god that transition what in their wedding video i like it i like it too it's fun and then it goes back and then it ends up at the house no it's quirky and fun it has a sense of humor your parents had a sense of humor that's great yeah in my wedding they replaced the video that uh that they're showing to zayna josie drunk for 10 minutes that's weird i just remembered a quick little thing the go into the chapel song so when it was my brother's wedding um just like a few months ago we got into the car and i was the best man and i was driving everybody to go to the actual wedding so it was like the boys so we're driving i get into the car and i plug my phone in to like put it onto the um the radio and i put on pandora and i just hit play um and the first song that came on was going to the chapel coincidentally crazy we all freaked out like i literally turned it on and i just pressed play on pandora and it was going to the chapel and where like why and i was we looked at each other we're like what is going on maybe it's kind of like instagram as they kind of hear what you're what you're like doing and then just they just play we were mine i could not believe it you used to be a big pandora guy i still am you do you have a spot of concern everything is spotted by no i have spotify finally he no when you guys were living together you would only play your music off youtube or pandora because when i i did it i didn't i didn't have the [ __ ] memories you would never even ever have the [ __ ] you could you would he wouldn't have a premium account and ads would come on all the time would be bumping at a party everybody hey hey hey pandora listener and you didn't want to buy it you were yeah oh it's like then take your phone off the [ __ ] audio but i was playing heat but you would obviously play like some underground florida like trap music that would only be on youtube so like i get it they should make a remix to go into but i i do have spotify i just like the randomization of pandora there's spotify radio i don't like the like the the stuff that they have it's it's the same like you see like the 50 songs that are on it and then it's just like you know why though because you've been you've been using pandora for so long so pandora now knows your music and knows what you like like my trainer he will he refuses to use spotify because he's been using pandora for so long and it's just saved what he likes to listen to so now his playlist is perfect don't judge me i just feel like the stocks for pandora is going down i just i don't really care about it i hope they i hope they stay afloat why don't you put a billion dollars in pandora so it goes up and people can make it let me get it i never thought about that maybe i should he has a million dollars for people listening every time we throw in a new company to like invest in pandora to the moon to the moon to the moon we actually had this really funny story i wanted to share with you guys we were at a restaurant the other day and we were waiting in line and there's this little girl like standing out front with her family and i saw her and like i was like i was like that looks just like your cousin but like a littler version like a younger version and she was like holy [ __ ] that does like they just had like a very similar face and then she was like oh she's probably from staten island they all look the same and uh we like joked about it and then [Music] we go to sit down and we're eating and they ended up being at a table next to us so she's talking to the waitress and we overheard and they're like oh we're from staten island and i'm like are you [ __ ] kidding me like we guessed it and it was just so funny that like we happened to like just have this whole conversation thought there's no and then obviously mariah had to go say something of course you did i literally like took a deep breath i was like now i have to speak up like no one's telling me to do it stay in your seat mariah my mom would be pissed if i didn't say anything my every time like somebody comes up from pennsylvania new york new jersey my mom's like find out last name maiden name street they lived on this happens a lot we come across a lot of people and when i know from or when i know someone's from staten island jersey pennsylvania there's always a connection it's like matt with everybody because they could be your best friend right so i go up to the table and i'm like i don't want to be weird but i heard you're from staten island i was like i was born there i'm from great kills and i started like explaining everything he's like oh what street i told him the street and he goes oh we own a restaurant on that block and i was like oh my gosh no way which restaurant whatever we're talking and then um so that was weird enough as it is and then the daughter i noticed she was like doing tick tocks and i was like oh i saw you doing tick tocks i'm a dancer too um i was like do you dance and she was like yeah she dances on sun island i was like oh my do you know elle it's called la dance she was like i was like do you know la dance she goes that's where she dances i said my cousin owns that studio she goes your cousin's tracy i was like my cousin's tracy then the dad goes how crazy is it then the dad goes you know tracy's ex-boyfriend i was like yeah he goes i was in jail with him what he was like he was my friend in jail i was like wait what yo mariah with stan allen's like matt with texas he's just everybody he's just [ __ ] connected it's so weird how everybody knows each other in staten island so weird why don't we get that [ __ ] ever every time i meet somebody nobody not even florida like you could tell me about somebody from plantation and i have no idea i feel like literally the smallest little town but i feel like it's different like new york and texas i feel like everybody talks to everybody it's a community in florida we all do drugs with everybody so we have to [ __ ] but we just don't remember right because we do too much we od black out black out it's community we get out then that's that's actually that's crazy that is wild it's banana that's like not as long as my story so i met this guy no but i don't even know if it's that interesting but this is kind of crazy so um but you brought up about like their backyards used to touch yeah or whatever so um my uncle lives in grand prairie which is like 20 minutes away from where i'm from our last name's king there was one girl who went to my high school and her last name was king lindsay king not no relationship we're not allowed you got married she wouldn't have to change her last name that's crazy we are not related so i'm at like i think my cousin's birthday party it was a family backyard reunion 20 minutes away from our house in a whole different uh within a whole different town in a whole different suburb and we're at my uncle's house our last name is king and we're playing in the backyard and guess who pops her head over there lindsay lindsay king i i'm like what i what are you what are you doing why are you back there and she goes my uncle lives here and i'm like what what her uncle whose last name is king lives behind my uncle whose last name is king out of all of the nooks and crannies in the backyard i was probably like 10 or something and i'm like wait so why is this happening we are related we weren't related at all we still aren't cause her mom came out my mom comes out and she's like oh my god michelle cindy how are you no way so who lives and it just appears coincidence wild do you think they assign houses like in school like our city or alphabetical order crazy crazy i still remember that day where i like but there was no relationship do you think they assign oh you want to buy a house where you have to buy this house because we have to go a certain order that is that is really cool just wild i wish we had stories like that i know in florida just start talking to people i don't know you gotta look i have no shame you don't wanna go up to somebody that looks like they're from florida or that look like us i guess you know i guess i need a bird there was uh there was one youtube video i did and then at the end like you know how we would like do like an outro and like say goodbye um so in the outro is where i would usually put uh like about a 30 second clip of me doing like facial expressions trying to get a thumbnail and it was me and david going like did you see oh what and it was like i usually would put it in and then i would pick a little screen grab from that and then i would delete it oh [ __ ] so it was like this long ass outro of me and david just doing these facebooks and it was the most embarrassing cringy thing and i uploaded the video didn't realize it was in the end of it pushed it through and then the comments were just like oh my god the end of the video are you guys seeing this i feel like i'm not supposed to see this and i'm like what did i do i feel like so i put it in and i'm watching it i'm like oh my god and then at the end he's like you think we got it yeah it was the most embarrassing thing so i freaked out and you know how you can edit something in youtube yes so i went to go do the trimmer it was my first time ever editing something like after the fact so i went to trim and i thought i had cut that section out but it deleted everything of just this so i'm like thank god that's done and then i put my phone away he's like i went to check back 30 minutes later and everybody's like what is this video it was just the entire video upload was just oh my god yeah i bet it would have i bet it would have crushed you think we got it yeah that should be good i was [ __ ] devastated dude it was oh my god i had a scare like that before one one time was me carly and erin filming in my living room and it was we were filming for maybe like 15 minutes like all straight raw footage and for some reason instead of uploading the edited clip i uploaded that raw file it was the same time so when i saw the 14 minute clip i was like perfect that's my edited vlog and i uploaded everyone's like [Laughter] i feel like i'm not supposed to be seeing this right now and i'm watching i'm like oh my god so it was me carly aaron just making jokes and [ __ ] and there's times where like someone didn't like they started or something and we would just re-say the joke oh it was [ __ ] embarrassing it was so bad and we were like redoing it like there's times where we were doing it yeah you know how you like you'll like say something you're like all right let's do it again cleaner but a little bit quicker so we can like you know make it fit because not when you're filming not everything is perfect all the time sometimes you say something funny like somebody was talking over you so you just gotta repeat it but when you see it in raw form it is [ __ ] terrible oh my god that was really funny all right let's do that again say it quicker i'm just not going to talk so you you go ahead and it just like it's like seeing something you're not supposed that's like really behind the scenes that's what happens that's how these videos are made but it's so embarrassing my favorite one was of jason when i uploaded that video with oh wait which one i heard saying no no not the not my nut one so i there was a video though you never heard that story so no not my nuts it was it was fully edited it was edited properly but me and we did a i did a bit with jason where i was like he like got naked we were dragging him across the grass it was like very um visual like and raw and it was so [ __ ] funny i was like i have to post this but you know i'll just put the black square over it just like i normally do and i uploaded and i was just like no you didn't i forgot to blur anything so like you're watching this video it's just complete there's this 50 year old man just it was it was so bad and i finally said i deleted it i need to call jason before because people have already probably uh downloaded this clip it's going to be on twitter he's going to see this how long was it up for it was up for like six minutes oh no and i was with zayn when it happened and i think we had somewhere we had to be and you like hold on i'm just uploading this right now i'm like all right come on let's go and then he's like pushes it he pushes it through and he's like hold let me just check something he goes oh my god oh my gosh and he goes down his laptop he's on the ground also zayn just lets out the biggest fart ever because he's just so stressed and just like like out of his body and i'm like oh no and i'm like you didn't put the box straight he goes no the [ __ ] that like what you saw on that video that would have gotten my channel permanently banned like it was so much so much of jason that was just everything uh no no it's the nuts it was it was just it was it was it was just a lot it was a lot too much it was it was it was really funny more than should have been yeah right but i remember i remember that happened and then like later on that day i'm like i told jase i was so sorry he was like it's fine whatever i was like it was karma for when you released my nut that day so i guess we're even a lot of people were speculating that you did it on purpose that too people thought i did it on purpose but like that was there like no you did not do that though that was no i would never like dude i mean that would have that would have like he staged the fart [Laughter] and we'll do it in a couple minutes it was just like the most like thing your body could have done in like a moment of pure stress is he just like let out the biggest like fight or flight or fart and zayn was just like letting it out right now i just didn't know how i was gonna how i was gonna tell jason like how do you even start that conversation an eye for an eye and nut for a nut what did he say was he like oh that's all right he was like stressed for like the first like minute and then like he was just like it's fine whatever and i was just like no jason like you don't understand what i uploaded because he didn't see it yeah he thought i just uploaded something small but i was like no no jason it was like a solid 35 seconds of your ass being dragged you just it was just a lot it was it was it was eye opener now like now i i like i make sure i watch it like 15 times before it's like uploaded i i even have like a sense of like i get scared i get nervous before i post public on videos now because i'm just like did i miss something yeah it is pretty sketchy like it's just like there's a lot that could go wrong yeah and with it and the way the internet is quick to grab it yeah and with the way the internet works is that like you mistakenly post something or whatever and you are just held like you are you are [ __ ] like like if it was just if it like offended anybody you are just you are just done because you just like mistakenly posted that oh did i ever tell the first time i almost got scammed by the white band speaker scam well i think that's like a red hole i may have said this on a previous podcast when i was on but it happened again today if you don't know about the white van speaker scam they target guys like us mostly young dudes and they're handsome this happened to me in west hollywood i don't know like a couple months ago or like maybe a year ago a guy pulled up and was like yo man i work for like this speaker company i have this huge thing and i'm leaving town and i can't take it with me um it's like two thousand dollars and i'm willing to sell it to you oh it's like stolen off the truck and then they like no i don't think it's stolen no it's not stolen it's just super super cheap speakers that they're acting like are worth a lot and they're cutting you a deal and one of my friends has fallen for this and he thought he was getting this super great deal and he was going to resell the speakers but the speakers are worth like less than 100 bucks oh my god but they try to get you to pay like a couple hundred dollars were these guys that you saw like that day in a white van uh yes in a white van this today was it today or was it yesterday yesterday it was yesterday um uh i was driving over scots to work out and this guy like pulls up to me in like uh i'm like a chevy van like you like devin's fan like an astro van yes and like was like roll down your window roll down your window and i'm like i thought something was maybe wrong with my car it was really off-putting and i was just like very uncomfortable i roll down my window and he goes hey we work for like this sound system thing and we're leaving town and we oh i i we gotta sell these speakers i'll give them to you super cheap they're working two thousand dollars and i go this is the white van speakers yes i go no it's the white man's speaker scam and he goes huh what and just zooms off takes a right and i'm like and i'm like he's about to probably turn down on scott street and is gonna come up to all these guys and try to sell them and scott would buy these people will catch you and make you seem like it's just like they're in a rush and they're cutting you this great deal they'll catch you in parking lots they'll catch you on the street how do people fall for it though like a lot of people take anything from anybody because you think you're getting this great deal the speakers look really really cool and great but they're [ __ ] you see matt like if a car like that came up to me and did that i wouldn't think that they're selling me a speaker i think they're trying to kidnap me like that that seems so sketchy by itself like not even like they probably think of every different types of tactics to get somebody's attention they do the parking lot thing they just pull over if they see me parked or they will try to just wave you down i'm just like in the truck i'm like so you guys still gonna sell me those people are you guys gonna deliver these to me are you bringing them to my house or am i helping you guys deliver these speakers how to who would be surprising but do we have a billboard blindfold but the first time i didn't tell the guy this is a scam get away from me i was like sorry but i'm not interested but i knew it was happening this time i just said it right to their face i have those speakers they're fifty dollars just the way you said it like reminds me of a kid going stranger danger like this isn't a white band speaker but like i feel like i have to share that because i feel like right now they're on the prowl so if you don't know about it look it up and learn about it and you see me like this i'm pushing my speakers behind this cause like i have them like i got scammed right right and if they if they came up in front of my house i would like think twice about it i'd be like i mean they're here yeah but like on the road i'd be like ah [ __ ] that because like that's like that's really shady mm-hmm but they look for guys like us because we always fall for it and we always want to deal baby uh-huh girls are smarter you are the white van speakers what no you should have just followed them the whole time and everywhere they stopped you're just like don't buy speakers from them with the white van speaker scam this dude looked rough though he was missing teeth or like maybe had like a snaggletooth or something it looked like he's he used to do math but he's got his act together but they got caught up with the scams he's got a job now cause sometimes people get into it people get into it because they got scammed and now they have they wanted all the speakers so they want to get it you know what let's let's be completely honest but they don't have the tactics uh this is uh speakers that are they're worth 2 000 what'd they say follow the script bro you know when you get them and you like plug it in when you're home like you press play on your music it's just like it's just muffled you you can't be too pissed at these guys because like and like when you buy like product from best like apple product or best buy don't they up the price of the products because yes but it's a quality product this is already it's shitty yes it is shitty it is a sh no it's a [ __ ] i think they're just upping it like more from one from when they bought no when you bought it when you come home and you plug it in it's like the worst audio you've ever heard that's like their little like cherry on top like he oh you know what i think is a scam too and a lot of people do it and it's school the people who go to like ross or tj maxx walmart and they'll go get products that are on sale and they'll scan it and see what it's going for on amazon yes you see tick tocks of some dude who's like how i make ninety thousand dollars a month and they go to a tj maxx and they scan the products and then take them to amazon right and it's like the discounted cheaper at like tj maxx and then they go and sell it on amazon for for more than they just bought it for really they like they're like basically flipping like just whatever products and what was the amount they made i i think it's wrong yes i think it's wrong too because those products are there for at affordable prices for you know lower income people to be able to have access and afford and it's sad when they go up in and take all the crayola play-doh they can take to amazon i i just think it's so bizarre i don't like it i used to work at forever 21 and um there would be like tourists like that would come and buy like a bulk of like 100 different dresses and they'd buy them all and they would go back to their country and sell them for like four times the price usually that's reversed what or we go to other countries and buy all of it super cheap and then come here to sell it oh so they're just they're just taking their [ __ ] back yeah maybe okay yeah that's not reverse capitalism i never understood that in the whole like the drop shipping [ __ ] oh yeah when you go through like alibaba and stuff well you literally you you sell something online and you jack up the price and then you don't even have the products you just have this fake store where you're selling stuff yeah and then they order it from you and then you go and order it from this store and ship it directly to them yeah so many of those swimsuit businesses that are out there are all pre-made in china and they're just buying them wholesale and drop shipping them and then you get your receipt and it's like all in chinese and you're like i thought i got it from ocean babes bathing suits but no you just bought it from china and somebody just like went and placed your order for you and then charged with yourself it's kind of like the [ __ ] uh the postmates [ __ ] like we just discovered restaurants ghost restaurants yes yes and they they just started this so like the i was loud a month ago i i'm going through postmates i'm like oh what's pimpin pasta what's this place that's someone with ragu in their kitchen just whipping it up in like i order it and then like i forget what restaurant it came from do you remember the restaurant that it came no it was like panera bread or something i was like if i knew this [ __ ] came from panera bread i wouldn't have ordered the best damn burritos is chipotle i'm tired of these fun names like smack my ass sandwiches that's not funny [Music] you see that [ __ ] you think about it you look at it again you're like hold on wait a second they would never name a restaurant pimpin pasta there they were i have been questioning this since day one of quarantine and everybody shut me down what do you talk no zayn's the one that was like i'm i'm sure you just haven't seen it i was like it doesn't exist no they have like they have ones that are like really real they're like it's like best [ __ ] pizza dude you're like what i've never seen this you're like it's probably just hidden it's probably gonna fall on the wall no i swear it's an underground it's an underground place about that speaking of smackdown sandwiches what do you call the sandwiches that are um longer that you get at like subway i call them like like cookies you're talking about like a massive you want to buy you buy for a party no no no not like just like a sandwich like yeah something from jimmy john's or like a sub or a hoagie a sub or a hoagie yeah i call it a hero that was one of the questions that's a mediterranean wait a hero the test that you made me take that was one of the questions oh hero yeah oh i can't believe how [ __ ] accurate that survey is weird yeah oh yeah this is crazy accurate yeah there's this really great new york times uh survey that they did a few years ago um in a how do we really work yeah go explain it um yeah they did this really great survey that you take and it figures out where you're from based on your local lingo of how you call uh certain things like do you call them do you call them gym shoes tennis shoes sneakers sneakers what do you call what do you call the highway uh do you call a highway a freeway in interstate uh what do you call the day before halloween i have no name for it uh mischief night cabbage night uh what do you do you call them fireflies lightning bugs and based on all of those little answers they get they can pinpoint where you're from in the united states exactly mine said new york and pennsylvania which i understand where both my answers come from because they say different things yeah i'm primarily from pennsylvania yeah but some tendencies come from new york which is insane pembroke finds miami like what the [ __ ] is this crazy yeah it's very very cool we should put a link to it yeah the people yeah it's fun to play with your friends and figure it out it'll be under uh matt's gofundme speaking of pembroke pines miami we have a cool little segment we're gonna do real quick about weird florida news we should do it every episode because we've been finding some crazy [ __ ] [ __ ] that's happening in florida i mean we've been finding [ __ ] all the time the craziest [ __ ] comes out of florida it's insane it's embarrassing it's like i'm surprised it's not the onion like the news that comes out of it so did you see that old guy who just got arrested like 90 year old dude i cry thinking about it he was making a bunch of food and would always give food to the homeless um i forget what part of florida it was like south florida i think it might have even been foreign yeah um and he cook a whole bunch of food up at his church and would just pass it out to a lot of the local homeless people and the cops came and i guess they just passed some new law that you can't feed the homeless they arrested him without a license this 90 year old man right yeah they arrested him yeah they they took him out and like the cops are like walking out putting like that's so low guys just trying to help people that can't eat right now there's some things that you let slide all right he's 90 years old let him do what he wants like what was the law that the cops were saying that he was breaking serve i'm pretty sure you can't serve food without a license that's why a lot of those people get arrested with those hot dog carts and [ __ ] because they don't really yeah but them shits are fire yeah but they're gonna yeah but they're f they're homeless like it's it's they that that's crazy he's helping the community okay orlando airport passenger busted trying to board plane with 22 pounds of meth okay i'm so sorry like all right it was a wild weekend and we just we were just trying to get our [ __ ] back from is that the actual picture yes what oh what where in florida do you think this happened guys um miami tallahassee oh orlando yeah we see 22 pounds but he had 900 of cash uh with him and uh he claimed the drugs weren't his and uh like he should i would do the same thing you know i believe him a tsa agent spotted him at the gate uh around 8 a.m on january 22nd and stopped him for a random bag check before he could board his flight so he had already made it through security with the 22 bags of meth 22 pounds honestly like heath honestly those machines that they have i don't think it like it scans for like weapons and [ __ ] i don't think like drugs really comes up in their system i don't think so too it could just be bags of flour did i ever tell you about what happened to me at the airport when i moved out here you tried to smuggle drugs no so close in my bag i had brought uh like i was really into tea at the time like i just always had like different tea so i had like a couple hundred dollars worth of tea i just really liked it and they were in like containers and i had them in my carry-on and i went through tsa everything was great and i go and i'm waiting to board and all of a sudden i see three guys like jacked like huge dudes and they're circling around me and they're all looking at me and they're just walking around me and i'm like why are they looking at me like that i just like it's like what did i do all of a sudden one comes up to me are you heathusar i was like yeah yes i am would you like a picture and uh i was like yeah he's like you have anything in your bag you shouldn't have oh and i was like no he goes okay let me ask you this are you transporting anything in your bag that somebody gave to you oh my goodness and i was like no he goes uh do you have anything illegal i was like no he goes we're gonna have to search your bag and i'm like oh are you nervous or you were like thinking yeah i i wasn't like nervous but i was i thought it was really bizarre and they're causing a huge scene now so now everybody they should have just grabbed you and like pulled you to the side right make everybody pull me into like a back room they didn't stop yet everybody in the whole boarding like lobby area is staring at these guys coming up to me and i'd be one of them if somebody's getting stopped i'm like what's were going at me like get them get them yeah take them out and i was just like and i'm like i don't i don't have anything so they're like open your bag so they're unzipping my bag now and they're going through my [ __ ] they're pulling my underwear out moving stuff and i'm just like it was it was the most uncomfortable feeling and then he like pulls out my tivana tin and he would have started laughing at that point he goes what's this opens it up and he's looking at it and he pulls like the tea out and he's like he's smelling it that's good it's just ginger spice he goes what do you like tea and i was like yeah that's why i have it in my bag he's like uh-huh interesting and he's looking around and i had like a vape at the time he goes i thought you said you didn't have anything illegal in here i was like i don't he's like then what's this oh my god they need to walk away with something right i know you could tell he was reaching for something of course so he goes then what's this and i was like that's that's a vape he goes you know you're not allowed to fly with this right you could tell he felt stupid because he just tried to like bust me for like yo you like tea and then he what's your favorite tea i was like oolong he started like grilling me with these questions but he found the vape and he's like you shouldn't be flying with this and i was like i fly with it all the time [ __ ] you it's not illegal and he was like you shouldn't have lied to me oh he's embarrassed okay he's like you need to check it in with the person at the desk and i was like what he so i walked over i was like can i fly with this or like yeah so i put it i put it back in they see me they see like when i go through tsa they see me with a puff they don't say anything it's definitely allowed they don't like do anything about it but yeah you could tell they felt so [ __ ] stupid and then they're like all right that's it and like my shit's still everywhere like all over the place people are still staring and uh they're like all right that's it i was like can you put my stuff back in the bag and pack it back up and he was like yeah and then he started like putting my underwear back and then he's like have a good day heath i would have been like and now make an announcement to the whole [ __ ] terminal it was tea i'm not a [ __ ] [ __ ] drug lord transfer or drug everybody clapped i would have told the people next to me but they were all rooting for my [ __ ] demise get them out it's only t [ __ ] in that moment i would have like honestly if i were you i would have been like but guys it was t t like just like that's crazy they found you after tsa yeah i'm curious the whole process like they let me go through like obviously they saw something but didn't stop it was herbs herbs look like herbs but they let me go through and then phoned in the swat team who was it heath the tsar are you here i'm gonna be completely honest sometimes i look at the people looking at the machines to see if they're actually looking right and i swear to god like sometime they're just like like they're not even looking at the [ __ ] because i see the screens i'm just like are they really paying attention i'm surprised they recognized you because they must have had your id and your id doesn't look like you at all they they probably had eyes on me the whole time yeah oh yeah as soon as they left i think that's when this started to like i don't i don't believe the whole like scanner thing where it shows like hot spots on your body where like yeah what is that no mine's always accurate mine's always accurate because every time i have a clip in there's a there's a square on my bun weird but yeah i went through and there was a a big red blotch on my genitals and they're like we're gonna have to pat you down like here you just gentle yeah i touched heath from zane and heath unfiltered his crotch and i just i checked him for metal i well i had been like out on like a a paddle boat you know paddle boats like the seats get kind of wet and i went to the airport like within an hour after like my final paddle boat ride it was in michigan and the guy was just like feeling my rear and he goes is it raining he said that yes god and i was like i was sorry i was on a boat like it's just it's wet from me sitting on the boat he's like oh that's what that is so okay but i was like was he like yes it was just like my pants were damp and he was like is it rainy out today i'll never forget okay a food delivery driver accused of stealing teacup poodle puppy from jacksonville beach condo i used to have a teacup poodle so a man was arrested after snatching a puppy while delivered food to a jacksonville beach home on saturday get away with that the dog owner's wife ordered a pizza from the restaurant through grubhub and the police said that the guy arrived with the food at the family's home inside a condominium building the poodle exited the residence and he grabbed the poodle and hid her in the delivery bag i just can't believe grubhub would allow that and that's why we use doordash imagine getting your dog stolen from the pizza man grubhub more like grub pup grab pup [Laughter] i was like giving you a recognition for that joke thank you i'm always scared to look at everybody when i make a joke you just close your eyes yeah grub pup hold on guys it's coming hold on there was one florida story that i saw that you sent me it was yeah a hacker apparently hacked like a water system and it was in miami like recently and poisoned the water supply he within one minute was able to change the water levels from this entire water plant to poisonous levels what what isn't that crazy where florida which which which well which part of florida where is parents i know there's a movie out there that like that was like the plot of the show these movies are giving people ideas i swear to god i robot i wrote that [Laughter] someone pours in the water they're able to put like more that's woody right there's a snake in my boot oh tampa that's where my grandma lives hackertown [Laughter] recently i saw uh uh florida orange juice like the factory yeah and they had a water tower and i was like is that filled with orange juice or water you know like the big tower i thought that tower was just a [ __ ] sign i didn't like what is in there what's water why is that water there's no way there's water in that no that's where the animaniacs live that's where aquamarines duh no you know the beginning of animaniacs it opens up and they're like where the animex but there's no water in that not in that one have you seen aquamarine when she cleanses power and she lives there yeah but like what is that water for the city city no that that water in that little tank no it's a pressure gauge i'm pretty sure your tone moved with your hand it's a pressure cage i'm pretty sure we're talking about the ones that you see randomly in the middle of a city like the big bulb it looks like it doesn't look like it's big enough to to [ __ ] nourish the whole city so like it's that's why there's a water plant zayn in a filtration filtration what is that what flower do i might be doing like irrigation no it fluctuates i'm making all of this up i'm irritated it's so good it's a mini like air pocket like uh uh like it's almost like like a mini kind of like volcano that's where it goes through to like pressurize the entire thing can we look this up because i i need no i'm just gonna tell everyone what are water towers for [ __ ] our tick tocks are going to be listening what we learned on tick tock they're talking about this [ __ ] like it's not really water in it can we start this rumor you're right man i'm right oh pressurized water for distribution god i like how do you even come up no because it just makes me make something up because i know that the water level in it fluctuates and if it's fluctuated in an insulated area that involves pressure so it like operates as this pressure gauge to distribute the water i feel dumber and dumber sitting next to you 346 plus 586 300 no exactly i don't have that kind of he's not as smart as we thought that's right that was like a child okay oh what's this boys go to jupiter to get more stupider they do girls go to college to get more knowledge okay and if you are coming to us for knowledge or get any sort of information baby we are not the source i couldn't even tell you the definition of knowledge i'd be like smart knowledge means things that you know in your brain uh i heard this one thing and i i thought it was so [ __ ] funny but accurate at the same time how would you explain the difference between knowledge and wisdom knowledge i think is like crystallized intelligence that's things that you've like have accumulated that you know you know that the atlantic at the what that what you know the oceans of the world where the atlantic is where the pacific is wisdom is based off of experience right in your own like human journey so i have more wisdom than knowledge knowledge is knowing that a tomato's a fruit yes wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad mm-hmm yes that oh i like that oh you just came up with that in your brain no i did it so was that knowledge or wisdom that you just spoke um that's his memory um that was his liked sex unknown i heard it and i was like oh my god it makes sex sense it really does there was also another thing that i just learned recently remember how we talked about the hibernation thing yes so a camel right you know the hump on a camel oh the water there's we were taught there was water in it but there's no [ __ ] water there's not water in the camel's home or the water every day every [ __ ] teacher told us that there was like a water that's where they store their water because they don't get water often so they suck it up and then they store it in their bags yes and that's why i thought like where camelback has come from camelbacks have water in the back and that's why they call it a camelback is because there's water in it that's what you see that's why you can't trust that people what it doesn't make i'm not saying anything but when people write [ __ ] back then and we're supposed to follow it now that's why we shouldn't trust everything that there's a water park in pennsylvania called camelback beach you tell me is there a fountain with like water spewing out of the camel's back did you guys ever learn that song sally had eight humps we just have to line up and then you were like yeah the first time i ever got my card signed in kindergarten is when you know when you got your card signed is when you did something bad that you had to show your parents you did oh yeah the yellow card because in our music class we all had to line up and i would when when it would come to me i would step forward i'd be like sally had five humps and she's like stop stepping forward and i did it three times in a row and she goes sit down right over there and miss horker or torture i know you got remarried if you're listening i'm so sorry and i remember that this day she used to be miss zorn miss horcher mchorker sally had seven eight humps boulder sign got in trouble the kindergarten teacher came in and goes why are these kids sitting here miss oren and she goes because their main character energy like that reminds me that teachers would actually punish us like that for like like little [ __ ] like that follow the rules she told him three times and i think he has adhd no he doesn't he has he thinks he's the star of the show he needs to take his fast release tablets okay i can see everyone else saying they're lying and matt's mouthing it [Laughter] just waiting for his turn being frustrated when they don't say it fast enough it just came out of me i couldn't stop i just had to step forward what what is it what is it what was that song i don't get it to teach an account and about camels with multiple humps not full of water [Laughter] dry humps just fat sac clubs i'm just thinking about like people like just like starving or just like really parched in the desert and they see a camel they're like oh my gosh oh thank god oh my god take his water it's just fine just blood coming out of it like a turkey they're just carving it you know what i learned from tick-tock you can't touch your palm to your shoulder i can yes you can [ __ ] wait how did you do that is this not it oh nice wait i can't i can't get it i can't get it oh can you do this no i can't see the people listening [Laughter] no don't tell them zayn is completely naked [Laughter] i grew up and was taught and up until three days ago thought bats were blind that's why they echo locate everybody's like they see better than us they echo locate they can't oh the phrase like doesn't yeah no they have perfect [ __ ] vision i i still always thought like seeing that i thought they were they were not blind because there's i i never thought bats were blind even when they were telling me bowser blind i was like [ __ ] there's no way wait blind then why do they echo locate they they do it at night on top of like their their sight to find like movement and like to increase their vision yeah i guess just to like but then why don't birds echolocate i don't know but they can see oh i think that's pisses me off bat's poop can make you go blind i don't believe that [ __ ] either or maybe the owl poop or is i'll poop in mascara i'm going down a rabbit hole i kind of want to try echolocation fat poop no that poop that would cause it fine if you eat it if you rub it in your eye if you touch it smell it if what what is this well i think rubbing any poop in your arm causes a [ __ ] that poop makes you feel excited it's just in the room get it away do you know the guy who's blind who can do echolocation himself like he clicks his tongue and he can sense where boundaries are he's like riding a bike yeah he's just like while driving that's why i'm not driving you can't drive you said bike on a bike yeah yeah riding a bike riding a driving even riding a [ __ ] bike how the [ __ ] do you do that there's no way here he can hear where the sound's bouncing off somebody knows that you're [ __ ] on a bike on the street no there's no way you're blind you're blind you're you're you're you're other senses yeah yeah stronger some people are he's got a gift let him have a gift it's kind of like a superpower i think he can see a little bit check his site let's have him on i was if i was my mom would be like he could see if i was legally blind i could see a little bit oh i would tell the whole world i was 100 blind and baby take advantage of it oh yeah i can see zayn would be like the girl who like claimed she had like a stroke or something oh that was uh oh where she was she couldn't walk but she could run yes that was crazy oh yes she would be running and then all of a sudden she would stop she would like seize up because she yes because she took a shot right it was like some vaccine or a flu shot yes and the news people covered her story because she was trying to sue the company yeah and then the news company traced her down and saw her in a parking lot walking completely normally she confronted her and then she started speaking in a british accent they saw me walking i'm fine now what do i have that's zing getting alive that was like i feel like that was the first time i saw someone on the internet get canceled like that was the first original that was the original thanks [ __ ] she started to cancel culture for sure but also there are those people that have really bad stutters that can sing perfectly yeah oh that's so that's interesting oh that makes sense stuttering yeah talking and then singing it's like walking and running cody lee yeah who's that he has autism and he's blind yeah he was on so he has like oh that talent i oh yeah that's crazy he has the hardest time speaking but then when he sings an incredible voice wow have you guys heard of i just saw this on tick tock but have you guys heard of astral projecting or astro yes i i've i haven't done well i'm like talking about like yeah i have an astro project i have i have out of body experiences sorry no no no i just saw the ticked off of the girl explaining it and she like i'm just like looking at this video i'm like this girl is crazy and i go to the comments and everybody's talking about how they've astral projected how they've had out-of-body experiences and people are like um these comments were like no do not do this like i did this and i i it took so long for me to get back to my body i'm like wait a [ __ ] second where are these people who how is this like not wait what like more talk like it's not talked about more if this is like a real thing there's a vlog one time where i was telling you that i had woken up and you had surprised me with the lord sitting on the couch and i was talking to her and you guys were talking to me okay that was a time where i astral projected out of my dreaming correct it only happens when you're dreaming but you're consciously that's why it goes out of your body and i it's happened to me multiple times it usually happens when i'm out of town and i'm sleeping in a foreign place and i have friends there in family who i'm like excited to see but i'm like in this weird state of napping where i think i've already awoken and i'm talking to them in another room and then i realize i'm in this loop where i'm like no i'm actually sleeping but i am like out of my body you're at that place i'm at that place in the room talking to those people i it's all in my dream but i'm out of my body and it feels so real i feel like i've already woken up oh i might opening of my eyes and i'm like i'm still in bed did we just talk about this yes so you don't you don't do it like purposefully no it happens these people are talking about this like oh they they can't do this if they want it's just getting to a state of awareness in your dreaming and honestly the possibilities are like infinite i know but they're like you have a choice i hate talking about dreaming like i really hate it because i hate when also people like start talking about their dreams like do you want to hear about this thing that didn't happen like it gets to a point where it's like kind of silly yeah yeah i don't like talking about it you know it's just like uh like when you hear somebody tell about a crazy dream i'm like cool but it didn't happen but all those things are possible lucid dreaming and out-of-body experiences this is my belief i think that like when we die we are like we are in a dr like we're in a dream once we die but it's like our heaven or our like what we want to be in for the rest of our lives have you have you seen the show on netflix um about near-death experience i've seen a couple like where like like they're about to die and like they see yeah they like like they leave their body yeah um and they they've had these like crazy not visions but like one of the ladies she died on the operating table and like left her body and saw and was watching the doctors performing surgery on her saw everything that was going on it was this long process and she was like dead and they were trying to bring her back and they ended up bringing her back and she came back and was like talking to the doctor and was like explaining and talking about everything that she had seen while she was out and unconscious and the doctors was like how how do you know this how did you see all this like it's not possible like you were dead when this was going on like how she was like i left my body and i was looking down and i was watching it happening and then got pulled back into my body and then another guy had a similar experience remember he she talked about how vivid the colors were and all the stuff and he had the same experience he was like the colors were vivid and it was like this whole and another lady she was a kayaker and went over a waterfall and ended up being like trapped and pinned under and like died underwater and like her body got sucked out like 20 something minutes later and was unconscious the entire time somehow they brought her back to life and while she like i don't know how she wasn't brain damaged or anything like that she doesn't know either but while she was dead she like her whole life flashed she did the thing she was talking to god and he was just i guess this what she was saying was that like he was like this isn't your time yet um you're gonna go back you're gonna finish you're going to have this journey and you're going to tell about this experience and it was this crazy thing but like nobody knows how she survived and he was like i am going to tell you though that your son is going to die young just a heads up or something like that or your son won't live for to see 18. yeah he did hit his 18th birthday and then she just turned 18. and then so she told him and then he ended up dying like really really shortly he was a professional skier or something got into a crazy accident and passed away when he was 18 or 19 or something crazy i actually was just talking to my brother earlier about it but he uh died and his heart completely stopped and they brought him back to life and he was out i guess for like 30 seconds he had some weird virus of the lining in his heart and they my parents like rushed him to the hospital he wasn't feeling good he felt like his heart was being like squeezed so they pulled him in and they sent him like straight to the emergency heart unit whatever and he was like sitting there and he was like he said he was on the table looked up and he was like my heart and then he just went out and he said that he was laying there and he just like felt his body being like pulled forward and he said he saw a bunch of like faces and people that like he couldn't like recognize but he was like getting closer and he said it was like this really warm welcoming feeling and it was just like he just felt light and happy and then all of a sudden he like started getting further away from it and they started like getting like pulled back and then he like woke up and they were like shocking his chest um and then he said he like looked over and then he heard the uh doctor in the room he was like well that was intense and he was like did my heart just stop and they're like yeah wow that's crazy that is like but he's always wanted like a near-death experience to like have his own proof like proof religiously and he was like dude that was it yeah damn this was maybe like four or five years ago damn the brain is crazy like i just wonder how like everybody's brains were like brains work when like that time comes like someone that doesn't believe in god that like has a near-death experience what do they experience that's when their show had some people that didn't believe in anything yeah yeah it happens to a lot of people that don't believe yeah and they're like well that's crazy that is like oh scary that is chilling i'm just like imagining matt like dying and he sees like a great groundhog day he's just everybody at that's just his happiness and that's what his brain is telling him like okay this is your path after welcome to punxsutawney all right um cool that was a roller coaster that was a roller coaster that was fun some good stuff that was really highs lows happiness sadness confusion epiphanies all right guys well that's it for today's episode thank you so much for listening and watching guys if you want to get the chromoto coffee go to comodocoffee.com and you can get the house blend uh in the bag or the k-cups that's all we have left right now sorry we should have all the flavors available and more soon very soon very hopefully in a couple weeks i think oh and i smelled one of those new flavors in me oh my god that one's not that's not that's not even the one that's coming out yet that one is later that one was revolutionary that one is very special okay make sure to check out uh the audio form of this podcast on spotify google on mondays and on tuesdays we post on youtube version on youtube.com zane and heath and um anything else that closes out mariah i got a story i imagine i tell a story it goes a little further kind of crazy it reminds me i have this crazy story no that's okay no that's it bye guys we love you bye guys

Channel: Zane and Heath: UNFILTERED

Views: 2,522,486

Keywords: coffee talk, unfiltered, views, podcast, vlog squad, david dobrik, zane and heath, zane hijazi, heath hussar, vlogger, funny, vlog, natalie, todd, scott, matt king, mariah amato, carly and erin, celebrity, tiktik, tik tok, girlfriend, season 2, tiktok, vine, davids vlogs, scotty sire, jason nash, funny podcasts

Id: _wPkhDGhjR0

Length: 102min 1sec (6121 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 23 2021