Heartbreak to Breakthrough: Her Path to Financial Security and Independence

now this is redefining wealth it's not about money but this is what is possible because I do Chase purpose not money I do pursue purpose relentlessly it's the byproduct and you need to see an example of someone who lives that way authentically now before we hop into Today's Show be sure to like comment and subscribe now let's jump into the video [Music] Patrice I'm gonna hit it straight forward I met you about five years ago yeah uh you were at the time Eric I was um and uh the whole world is going to know today you're no longer married and you're still the wealth lady but when I look at you I see peace I see Joy I see happiness y'all see this smile get on her smile right now bro get on this mouth zoom in if you can with your editing this word this girl is smiling how are you feeling you are the wealth lady we know you as redefining wealth how are you how is your business doing with this huge transition I'm well I'm well um it's not to say that I haven't had to grieve anything but I'm very grateful okay um and I believe that's something I learned through this process is that you can hold both at the same time you can be grateful for making a decision that you know was the right thing for you and also grieve the dream that you once had right so I hold space for both but what I teach at redefining wealth is literally what I've used to just take me through this process I live by the pillars do you yeah I live by the pillars so when I'm not feeling well I tap into a pillar and go what do I need to be doing in this particular pillar and that's what I focus on so I try not to dwell on any one thing that you know that I never dwelled only on money stuff never right because wealth is so much more than money material possessions it's about well-being and happiness come on now and if you say you live by that then why would I not look like I have peace and joy this is who I am Joe you just set your pillars for the people who do not know you okay she's talking about pillars help her get through this real quickly what are your pillars so the six pillars of wealth are fit yeah it's about becoming your best self the thing I say about fit is you need to be mentally and physically well okay if we say that we have a vision for our lives it's our duty and responsibility to protect the vessel it's the only one we're gonna get okay and then also remembering you can't pray for things that you're not mentally prepared to receive so fit is the first step second is people come on it's about creating relationships that matter both personally and professionally and then I just talk about understanding that there's always someone watching you as the power to bless you but how are they watching you show up who are they watching you be okay and um if you say you have boundaries do you enforce them um that's very important the third pillar is space yep it's about setting up your life to support you um and really just understanding that we say a redefining wealth clutter is the physical manifestation of Chaos in your mind so digital clutter physical clutter relational clutter any type of clutter when you feel stuck in some place in your life there's probably clutter around you that represents that and you want to clear that fourth is Faith it's about believing in something greater now one thing I always say is I don't care what people say they believe in because I love everybody but if you say you believe in something do you make time to practice it good period because that's what you're going to need in these Seasons right fifth is work living your life's purpose I truly believe that when you are not working in your purpose day in and day out it is very hard to set and honor your priorities okay which leads to a lot of financial mismanagement yep people are unfulfilled they try to use money to buy people or things yeah it doesn't work just creates a bigger hole and then finally sixth is money and it's about attracting the abundance you desire so I think that a big reason that a lot of people could not follow the advice that we've been given for all these years is because they have clutter and Chaos going on and all of these other pillars and it creates a distraction so we know the basic money stuff because you and I and so many of our peers have said it in so many different ways right yes people go well why can't I just budget why can't I just do this why can't it's more than likely it's not a budgeting thing it's a behavior thing it's a belief thing it's a relational thing you know you got people on your budget that don't belong here right like so so I operate from the pillars I set my calendar up by the pillars I talk from the perspective of pillars my clients talk to me by pillar but whenever something is off I don't try to go beat myself up about that thing I try to look at the other parts of my life and it just makes it a more holistic like journey man fit people space Faith work money I think in my single season I think one the main pillar on your list that I'm really learning to focus on it's the space really like creating more space getting rid of certain things and and and distractions and people in my life to create a healthier process for my life if that makes sense yeah you know um fit I got the full gym I work out every day I'm trying to be sexy you know what this summer I'm going to be on the beach half butt naked as a Christian man I'm gonna tell you that right now I'm gonna look good as a matter of fact can y'all bring me my water uh hey uh Michelle is in the office can you bring me my water I gotta get this gallon of water Alex so we're we're drinking gallons of water now I got this I got to stay fit I got to stay fit I feel you uh people I'm very big on relationships yeah me too I can tell you are yeah I'm saying because day one I was like I like Michelle I'm not Michelle I'm thinking myself for my water I like Patrice how first conversation hands out yeah and it was the best and and I learned a lot about you in that conversation if y'all know anything about Patrice this is why y'all need to rock with Patrice she doesn't know how to lie like she's just going to tell you what's on her mind and she was like bro and I won't say what you said after that but she's like you can't fake it thank you thank you so much Sarah see I see you you know what I'm saying me too Alex don't be looking at me like that bro all right we'll let you be hey man listen at least I got all the way here yesterday for you you know I mean you needed to write on there almost keep trying dang you needed to see what I'm saying this this is what this is what you get from Patrice that's why she the big sip she she the sister you know what I'm saying but I'm gonna ask a hard question if you can't answer it then I understand it um being single I think a lot of people right now are stuck in relationships that they're not happy with they're stuck in relationships that I even believe spiritually God is saying leave but they're comfortable where they are they're comfortable because of the money they're comfortable because it's just common it's just familiar to them uh but I believe that sometimes those same relationships right are hindering them from accomplishing everything God has on the inside of them because they're being focused on that man or that woman because there are some men in relationships that know they need to leave that woman have you felt since leaving you've been more I'm gonna say that is don't say like this since leaving your relationship have you made more money have you have you accomplished more things like how are you when it comes to the business of life according to recent stats only about half of African Americans have some form of estate planning put into place this includes important documents like your Wills your trust and your power of attorneys additionally only about 60 percent of all people have life insurance coverage but why is it so important for not just black people but all of us to have these things put into place you see life insurance can provide financial protection for your loved ones in the event of your Unexpected death it can help cover funeral and burial expenses uh pay off debts and even your mortgages but here's what I really want you to consider it can provide income for your loved ones to build wealth with you see estate planning on the other hand can help ensure that your assets are distributed according to your wishes after your death and that your loved ones are taken care of if you truly love and I mean this if you truly truly love your loved ones don't leave their Financial Security a chance I want you to get life insurance today you can get a free quote with my friends over at those by visiting anthonyoneal.com forward slash life insurance or by clicking the link in today's show notes protect your family's future and give yourself peace of mind don't be in heaven and you're full of joy and your family is here on Earth struggling and stressed get life insurance today with my friends over at ethos hey now let's get back to Today's Show I know it's a good one okay I'm gonna answer that but let me go back okay I don't think that most people are comfortable I think that they have learned to intellectualize what they're actually feeling okay and I think that many of us have been so focused on self-awareness which is all the stuff up here that we have completely abandoned Soul awareness which is spirit and all this and our souls are exhausted from us lying to ourselves right so it's not that you're comfortable because there's definitely something yeah that nags at you a little bit and there's something where in your spirit you know it's not right but we like to romanticize reality so what we do is try to justify okay and rationalize ration outlies right and we try to make excuses for and dismiss and diminish because many of us have been taught that that's what you should do facts many of us have been taught that you stuff down the emotion and that you know um your feelings are not necessarily valid and so we're taught to try to romanticize the pieces that we like and make that everything while completely ignoring and dismissing the list of things that just don't work for us or serve us yeah and so for anyone who's in that place I just want to put words to it I understand that you're probably not comfortable but it makes it looks good yeah I'm in a season in my life where I've decided that I will prioritize peace and purpose over appearances say that again peace and purpose over appearance over appearances I don't care how good it looks I don't care how beautiful our Christmas Time family pajama photo looks I don't care you know that you I don't care about any of that none of that if I don't have peace in my soul it's a no you are talking right now because people are watching you saying ugh they felt that because people they care about the appearance yeah I actually dated one chick and she was all about the appearance of us dating and she was willing to go through hell spend money that she didn't have would ask me to spend money that I know I shouldn't be spending just so we can have the appearance of happiness it's Patrice we almost did it Patrice yeah and I know that's one of your things come on now you know what I'm saying she had I thought she had the brains hmm and I questioned if she had the Bible but because she had the booty in the body I said well maybe you tried to romanticize I did yeah because you know as a single man I'm like damn I'm tired of being single you know I'd be 40 here soon and I'm like what in the world but then without knowing what I did I did your route I said nah that's not that's not even worth it because that's going to bring me hell that's going to be bring me drama I'm not gonna be practicing what I'm preaching to my people yes so I said nah man I'm not even going to do that and to this day she won't talk to me [Music] what got you there it's where which part to to Desiring the peace and purpose because you didn't really have nothing about money in there but if you focus on your purpose that produces income yes but what got you focusing on the peace and the purpose solely though my soul being exhausted my soul was exhausted and something that you said you know I've said for many years I don't desire to be a public success and a private failure and I realized that I was living by the pillars and I was teaching and I believe in them wholeheartedly like this ain't a podcast thing for me right it's like this is how I live my life but my former husband and I would be in Conflict not because he debated whether those things were true but because I didn't always see them in him yeah and after a while it becomes intolerable it becomes intolerable and this is not to make him wrong right and I'm not wrong but it became very apparent we were not a right fit for each other we met at 20. wow we were best friends for like a year or so before we even started dating we were dating by about 22. I just turned 42. so you're talking about it's not who I was at 22 years old and I've gone through a lot of personal development a lot of therapy I I invest in Patrice getting to know Patrice in and out very authentically yeah and the more that I did that and you could see that the differences became glaring at some point and you you made a point too like earlier I believe that life is always speaking to us right so for years life was speaking to me whether it was through dreams it was through Visions I don't know about you but God has a way of getting to me I have I would have I would have a random person in Subway prophesied to me I would have a person an Uber like say I don't know why I feel like telling you this but there were a series of things that would happen and I would try to dismiss them away but life was speaking many of us don't want to hear what life has to say so we it doesn't fit the picture and I think the big thing for anyone who's in a season of transition is to understand you can dream a new dream yeah yeah some dreams write serve you for a season but when we stay in situations and it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship this is jobs this is a city or something when you stay beyond the expiration date you prolong your own suffering yeah first of all um and second of all it's like you don't believe that God could do a new thing say right now let's go deeper oh do you think how do you feel right now you was married for 20 something years I was married for 15 years 15 together with a guy yeah for 19 years one guy now you're single I just have to laugh because it is different I'm serious yeah 19 years ago and the dating is different from today very you know what I'm saying 19 years ago you you we didn't know Patrice Washington today 19 years ago Patrice Washington didn't have a seven plus figure business 19 years ago Patrice Washington wasn't on national TV 19 years ago Patrice Washington didn't sell books 19 years ago Patrice Washington wasn't as fit and as beautiful and as tall showing date a taller man we bought it I was as tall you were as tall I've been this High since I was 15. all right all right all right so it's like you go through this divorce I've met ladies who have been through some breakups and some divorce and they cannot stand men they're just like ugh oh man this oh man or that and I'll just be like wait what how do you feel now being single back in the dating game successful making money like is one and if it's too much you can say it's too much but are you interested in dating and eventually getting back to marriage because I'm gonna say before before you say it I see you as a wife because I've watched over the years and how you covered your last husband and how you're just a great big sister to me I'm like you are a relationship person I am so I'm like I want to know when are you do you desire marriage again one and then two how was the dating field for a successful woman okay first of all yes I'm a wife material absolutely yeah like definitely um and I am very relationship oriented I mean I was with one person pretty much my entire adult life yeah yeah so my previous dating experiences you're talking about beginning a college I was a child you know um so yes I'm interested in lifetime partnership possibly marriage I'm not turned off to the idea of marriage but I'm also okay with like hey you do your thing I do my thing and we have an understanding is that like an Oprah and uh what's his name absolutely what step yeah and so they don't agree in but they live together we're not married but we're doing life together yeah and I'm I'm like okay with that to an extent because I know at this point we're both coming into something with money and assets and all of this stuff and let me tell you untangling is not for the faint of heart did y'all have to untangle in your past situation we still untangling yeah so even though the divorce is final there's still work to be done okay and that's not necessarily a part of life that I look forward to doing again especially because I know that now that I'm Freer to be my full self what I've done pales in comparison to what God is going to do eyes have not seen the ears have not heard I'm very clear that I was living a fraction of who Patrice Washington really is and I know people think oh you're so outspoken and you're this see your dad and all of that stuff but there was still always a part of me that will only go so far because it was ingrained in me that you have to like your husband has to be here right and you were like the support right so as my career kept growing I do recognize that there were points where I would only let it go so far okay not that I was sabotaging but I know that there were things that I didn't go for because I felt like it'll be too much that'll be too much of a strain on my marriage or my or my family and I said no to a lot of things and I don't regret saying no but in this season when I'm free there's no rescheduling Joy I'm doing everything that scales joy in my life and I'm going to go after the opportunities that feel right for me and what's next for me right so with that being said you know I expect by the time you know I meet this ideal partner I expect by that time ideal partner um you know that we might both have so much it would be understandable if it's like you know what at least initially don't rush to propose to me gotcha I'm okay with that okay okay yeah all right all right all right all right all right but has it been has it been difficult it's been interesting so that's your way of saying yes it's been interesting you know so my mindset is not what you described okay I do not think that all men are dogs I don't think that all men are bad I don't think that all men are anything because I see people for who they are what you show me and what I see when we're interacting is what I go off of so I'm not going like all men this and I'm in that that's just not my energy every time I've had a dating experience or met someone it has made me more aware of what works for me and what doesn't and I just take that lesson that's so good and I take it into the next situation so you know I had this idea right this list and so as I meet people and I get to interact with them and observe which really that's all we're doing in the beginning you're observing right so as I meet them and observe I get to say how does this feel for Patrice because I'm not in a season of dismissing my feelings anymore we're not doing that so I get to say how does this feel if something doesn't feel good I'm very communicative and I know how to say it with Grace but I can share like hey you know I noticed this or it's you know it seems like just maybe I'm looking at this incorrectly I'm able to do that right okay once we've acknowledged that there is something that doesn't work for me and you continue down this path right to me that's just my permission slip to move on with my life like because I'm clear that this doesn't work for me yeah and you're clear you're not changing cool then we don't have to waste each other's time quickly though like are you saying like all right if I say it and if you don't do it within one day you're done no no no no okay um the things that I'm referring to are things that are just fundamentally not going to work for me studies are showing nearly right now currently in the year 2023 that nearly 70 of people live in paycheck to paycheck when you dive deeper into this study study reveals that out of that 70 a large portion of those are people who make over six figures these are people who are living paycheck to paycheck because of inflation because of job loss but a lot of people say man we have an income problem and here's here's the truth we don't really have an income problem we have a lack of utilizing our gifts and skills problem you have the skills you have the talents that God put on inside of you and I'm going to ask you this question let's be very honest are you utilizing them correctly or are you just going to work getting that check coming home and not really utilizing your gifts and skills to build wealth to pay off debt well listen I am hosting a free a 100 free Master Class here with the next few days and I'm teaching people how to build a personal brand how to use the gifts and the skills that God put on the inside of you and turn that into an extra thousand to five thousand dollars a month to go towards paying off debt to go towards you know building an emergency fund to go towards building your dream home but I'm gonna go even a step further what if you can use the same principles I'm going to be teaching for free you make an extra one thousand five thousand but what happens if you could turn it into a six-figure income or maybe a seven figure income but then the next couple of years well if you are ready to take control of your money if you're ready ready to utilize the gifts and the skills God has given you to build a legacy to build wealth for yourself can you meet me I want you to go to Anthony o'neil.com forward slash save my seat again that is anthonyoneal.com forward slash save my seat or you can click the link in today's show notes it's 100 free come join me let me show you let me show you how we my team and I built a seven figure brand and how they can put a thousand dollars in your pocket but the next 30 to 60 days I'll see you soon and you're not wrong you're not bad if you've been rocking like that for 40 years and everyone else you've been with has told you that was okay and you're not interested in a different perspective I respect that I respect you enough to release you um and myself because Liberation is not one-sided that sounds harsh no you know what a guy that I dated told me that I was very I was harsh right and I said I don't think I'm harsh I'm clear I'm just I'm just really clear it's not that you need to change in a day no no you said I'm just going to release you I said that sounds harsh it's not yeah the release I'm just going to release you now that sounds harsh no in my head I'm like this Joker released I'm not saying that I say I will release you that energy is I respect okay okay who you are yeah and that you have your own thoughts around your ideal partner you came into this with thoughts as well yeah and so you may feel like well a woman needs to do this and this and this and this and that's fine there's some of those things that I'm willing to bend to and I'm willing to like figure out if the person is worth all that right and then there's some things that just fundamentally don't work for me so why do we have to act like I'm like every dating situation to me is not like I'm looking for my life partner or husband okay okay so because of that like it's okay to me to just observe and be like well that was fun so you're going in you look at dating now this season of your life intentional but it's not intentional for marriage it's let me just learn and see if there is something there and if it's not cool great if it is all right let's proceed forward yeah because I didn't get the phase that a lot of my girlfriends got gotcha so a lot of women who get married later they went through all of these different scenarios and circumstances and they saw a lot I was with the same person since I was 21 22 years old so I didn't get the chance to like enjoy and learn like talk to different people learn understand men in a different way I understood one man for 19 years okay okay I didn't understand you know I don't I don't have enough experience to be like all men and that might be why I don't have enough experience to be like all men do this and all men do that I wasn't raising a home with my father wow and I didn't have men in the household I had my mom my grandmother my aunts my first cousins who were all girls so there are a lot of things that I didn't learn cues about men and different things that I feel like this is my season where I'm getting to like learn men but also learn myself in relationship to men wow and then also get to go yeah I like that and I'm okay with it I'm not mad at them I'm I'm not mad at that at all I mess with you all the time but you know you do mess with me all the time can you tell them what you told me on my show but I tell you I said a lot on your show you said way too first of all it needs to be redefining wealth with AO Hey listen we had a blast on your show listen is it will it be out is it out at the same time okay cool great we're gonna link that show yeah we're gonna link that in today's show description that was one of my favorite shows like we had a good time I promise you I thought I was on my show you acted like that so I was listen y'all I was on Patrice show asking her questions like she had a whole bunch of questions for me I was like nah no you were asking me about um my list yeah your list I think sis [Laughter] I mean because my guys was just getting on me yesterday saying what y'all say I'm looking for what who am I oh he's he's Eddie Murphy and Boomerang they're saying I'm Eddie Murphy and Boomerang like I'm looking for this perfect woman and I'm not looking for no perfect woman because I said I want her to have the brains the Bible and ability that what that that ain't perfect that's just my desires but your desires yeah are clear what's your list you got like what 20 something 20 something but you only gave me like seven yeah because they're so this is the thing give me your top five what like what are the top five things no way I'm I didn't ask you this question do you have to have all 20 of those things oh that's what I was about to say okay cool if I have the desire to dream a new dream right and think about what I want in an ideal partner why do I have to limit myself to two or three things I'm not saying limit at all because they're limited they're upset with me with my three no but I've had people tell me you really just need to like do two or three things and let God fill in the rest okay well here's the deal when I was on a plane from I was doing a gig in New York flying to San Antonio okay literally I heard the Holy Spirit say you don't even know what you really want um you don't you don't really know what you want and I was like yes I do and then you know the next thing like listed so I started listing I got to four or five and I remembered I was like oh people always say you know you don't want to have too many things and the Holy Spirit said what does it have to do with you and I said heard and by the time I got to San Antonio I had this list now there are things on the list that are desires they are not deal breakers okay so wait give me five things if he doesn't have one of these five I don't want them if he's not a good Financial Steward I don't want him makes sense redefining wealth got you yeah and that and I don't care how much money you have if you can't manage it absolutely managing your money is more important than the income you actually have now I also had to add a caveat to that a good Financial Steward and generous because some people manage money well but they're stingy they won't give to charity they won't tip and they they're not going to give me anything Patrice you got to be generous the trees this sounds like cab right here what I hear you saying is he got to be a good Financial Steward and generous no no and you're generous is what is here's what I hear you saying and buy me some things no I'm not even hard on that no truly truly I'm probably unfortunately and my girlfriends will be upset with me for saying this I'm probably easy today because I'm not looking for a lot of gifts I like experiences though ah I like experience now we talk it's not that I need expenses like because I mean honestly if I want something I can go get it myself facts you can best facts right so but even for myself I'm not even the one caught up in all the stuff like I'm just not okay so we he got to be a good Financial Steward he needs to be generous to be one all right okay so it's almost like it's almost like if y'all out at a nice restaurant and it it is 100 and he give the the waitress two dollars I it's absolutely not yeah what are you doing no I'm with you I'm big on that I grew up in hospital very big like you know I was leaving I was telling all my business okay so I was at a hotel one time with this guy right that I was dating for months yeah yeah and so we were leaving and he didn't tip like that the housekeeper right so I went back and put and we had a nice Suite I went back and I put tip money and he was like what are you doing I'm like tipping the house the housekeeper he's like they already get paid now here's why this is big for me my mom was director of housekeeping for Marriott for years I grew up in Hospitality I understand how all of that works yeah and I always think about my family I'm first generation American a lot of the the women who are raising families yeah and they're depending on these tips much more so than they are the hourly absolutely right right so I'm very conscious of that and it's a sensitive thing for me yeah because I was the kid benefiting from the tips at one point you know what I mean I didn't know that bartenders rely on tips and and I didn't know that their their pay is not a lot at all at all like if they were to live off of what the the restaurant gives them they could not survive impossible it's tips so I'm very like aware of that so for a man who will spend seven hundred dollars on a on a suite for the night and then you don't want to give twenty dollars or thirty dollars to the housekeeper to me that's incongruent like it just you're you're not General did you tell them did you tell them like hey like you need to do this if we're gonna do this again this is what I expect this is what I need yes okay I mean I think there are some men who don't know that yeah they're not just something I think a lot of people just don't know that yeah right so that's good that's good all right so he got to be generous he got made some money and on your list this is this is where me and Patrice fall out of that I'm not even I have so many things on the list and you really just want to get to this this is where me and Patrice fall out at I said I said my desire no no no no no no this is this is my desire My Desire that's not your desire is that you be still two to three inches taller than me that's not a desire that's a desire that's not a that's a mandatory request from you no because you could be even an inch taller and I would accept it I feel I feel like that was gonna keep big is he has to be taller listen we go we go through this all the time y'all so listen we go through this all the time and this is my sister and I'm like yo you could be dating a Kevin Hart right now no I couldn't you could no I couldn't he could be a I'm talking about making a hundred million dollars and you would pass up on him I would I would I got it I'm not bending over another 20 years I'm not leaning to the side oh no I'm not doing it I'm not doing it I'm turning around I'm looking this way I'm not gonna do it she said I am not bending over another half in my life I get to Stand Tall I never met I never met your husband in person was he taller or shorter I get to stand tall and be in my full Glory of all that God made me to be I am 510 for the viewing audience I am 5 10. and then and with heels on I'm about six one so six two six three six four is ideal but let me tell you this when I stopped saying that there were no tall men because that was a story I had going on when I stopped saying that do you know that I attracted six nine six three most recently six six they're out there why why should I I know about your most recent one I was hoping that was the one I'm sure we both were too yeah that was one I even text you about it I was like I was praying for you you did because I mean I'm really praying for this situation and y'all I just think y'all too just look at me I just might make but that goes back to appearances uh versus peace peace yeah I got you and that's why literally when you said that a beginning of the show I was like it clicked I was like okay wait a minute yeah I got it there was a lot of Peace in that I got you yeah um what about money I asked this to all of my successful ladies and they get upset when I say can you use data school teacher so I'm Gonna Leave a school teacher alone because some ladies say well that's just disrespecting the school teacher so I'm gonna pull over here can you date a guy in the season of where you are now trying to think because no matter what I say any woman is going to have something to say about that that profession but I'm okay can you date a blue collar worker that makes about fifty thousand dollars a year good man he has fifty thousand dollars in his salary but he's been saving and investing properly he got about like you know close to a million dollars in his net worth with Investments and stuff like that [Laughter] he come up to you and let's say he's six five six five so I'm gonna give you your height yeah he's generous yeah you know what I'm saying um but he only made fifty thousand dollars a year could you date him I could date him could he date me why do all y'all say that I could date him so this is the thing again I'm not dating in this season of my life with the immediate intention of getting married okay okay so could I date him and could we have a great time and like yeah absolutely could he necessarily become my life partner I don't know because I don't know if he would be able to handle me what's the handle Patrice no I think so much I think it's more about be okay with what comes with a woman who is financial successful financially successful but also has her own like platform and her own because one of the challenges of challenges I've already seen is that if we're out especially if we're in a space where I'm more well known I have seen men kind of shrink what yeah yeah and it's typically the ones that don't have their own thing like their own so one of my things is that he has to be clear on his purpose and calling okay right because I'm clear on mine okay yeah and so I feel like if you're clear on yours your identity is probably much more solid and rooted than if you're in a you're in a job but that's not what you really want to do and you're unfulfilled and you feel some kind of way about it and then here I am I'm on purpose and rainbows and I get to go do everything that I want to do and I can get up and go and you could be like sis come do this interview and I'm like bad book a ticket go like I have a lifestyle that affords me a lot of freedom and typically someone in that position they waiting on vacation time we don't live the same and that's not to shade them it's different you're not wrong I'm not wrong but it may not be a right fit because look at our calendars you are on your publicist or on the phone with your publicist before this began that's how I sound I can't do the 26 but I could get there the 27th well if I fly from here and then go there and someone that doesn't understand that lifestyle and doesn't have the freedom and flexibility to meet up with me in a city or to come I would love to come with me to stuff they start to feel a bit insecure even if they were almost secure man until your woman out and about but the question is you're saying can he date you but can you even date that man who cannot do that that's the real question there well because I think there's a lot of men who actually be like all right cool I ain't gonna be up beneath you all the time cool great I think they say that until it happens I think they say that until it happens so maybe maybe because I'm in that no yeah oh yes oh y'all no no and the one that you know the one that you know no let me tell you what would happen oh my God if I was out speaking when I'm speaking Ayo I'm very present to what I came there to do I got paid to come there and do that and you're gonna do your job and I'm gonna do my job I am going to fully engage with the audience when people book me to speak they usually can't believe I'm the person who'll stand there and talk to every single person I will wait until the line is down I'm gonna sign books I'm gonna do everything and be present right that means I'm not just getting paid to speak for those 45 minutes you're getting paid to be there I'm getting paid to be there and I'm there so I'm the person that will be fully present for four or five hours I'm not thinking about texting you so when I do look at my phone what I don't need is oh so you still uh so you're gonna say you was just a is that all the menu of data that I know of have some level of success are you saying all of them have been there no no okay not at all so let's not talk about you know just the small it it happens though we just need to acknowledge that it happens and I'm the type of person when you say that you are working and you're doing your thing I may text you just like a hey miss you or whatever whatever but other than that I let you live breathe flowing your purpose like because I know how that fills us up and that gives us such Joy I'm not going to be texting you and calling you and I think too a part of that comes from which I don't see that with you because all I know is the nourishing loving supportive feminine feminine woman I think some of that stuff comes from those from some ladies because ladies women that way watch yourself video comes from some ladies who are not feminine really they bring that masculine energy all the time now you are very straightforward but you're very soft with your straightforward and so I wonder though like did do you ever make a man feel like he's not valuable when he's mm-hmm because that is where some men will have a problem if he and not need it like I don't need a woman to make me feel like I I need her to make me feel like a man no but I do want my woman to make me feel like I am valuable in this relationship you know what I think I do it too much I think that's the part I think that's been a part of my challenge in this like initial dating phase is because I'm relationship oriented you are so I be shutting everything down like if I feel like you it and I'm really into you yeah I'm not I don't rotational date or Olympic dating or all these different terms that they have now that I'm learning about I really don't do it but I see why you should I see why you should because you're emotionally giving everything to one man to eventually it drops and then now you got to start it all the way back over yeah yeah because I love relationship I love love I'm a Pisces I'm sensitive too like I'm sensitive to like people's emotions and like like if I feel like you may even consider that you're not as valuable I will course correct I'm quick to apologize I'm like very vocal about feelings so it's not hard for me to make sure that you feel loved respected right in this season was I always like this no it's one of the things that I learned in my marriage though because I was raised by a strong independent women and so even coming into my marriage those first several years I was still a strong independent woman in a marriage I didn't know how to ask for help I didn't know how to be supported I didn't know how to say I'm overwhelmed I just kept sucking it up and pushing through and he would give me more and more because it looked like I was handling it well but really inside I was like well damn it can I just get some help but I didn't know how to articulate that right so I wasn't always this way but I definitely as I've gotten to know myself more like I've I've accepted that this is okay it's okay to ask for help it's okay to show love and affection it's okay to be nourishing and nurturing you don't always have to be a fixer yes which is a very masculine energy let me ask you this question because we got like five more minutes on this show when you lied to it that flew by I know we need like two we need like two hours with with me and Patrice um and we may go over a little bit so y'all hang up with us um this independent woman stuff [Music] you're not an independent woman now at least from what I know of you right but you say you were at one point one point in time do you agree with these ladies that they don't need a man do you agree like when you hear ladies say I don't need no man I could do it all by myself do you do you believe that is the right energy you're successful you know we'll talk about your purse when you came down I said well my God you know what I'm saying like like like you have the level of success that you technically from a money perspective you don't need a man correct but do you believe in that energy when you're talking to a man no I need a man wait wait hold on wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait is the camera on her it is on her right yeah I just want to make sure the camera no not on me bro on her okay thank you thank you I need you to say that one more time for the camera and be very clear with your words here yeah because ladies are coming to the table some of them saying I got my education I got my degree you know what I'm saying like like I only know man for nothing so you better come correct like why do you say you do not like you do need a man I need a man I'm intentionally creating margin in my life in my calendar and my schedule to create space for a relationship that is important to me talk to us because I desire love come I'm lovable yes I'm loving I'm a phenomenal lover to a six too man I get you if you're six two and above right and I I need a man I desire a man I want a man I'm not walking around with the energy of I don't need a man now if it were just based on material possessions or on finances and stuff on paper do I require the financial support of a man no I do not require that do I desire to be supported by a man yes I do yeah do I desire to be held down by a man absolute held and held down by man absolutely like I don't I don't think that we were designed to go through life like alone I think that we were designed for companionship and I believe that the right man will have a vision so big like God has given him a vision so big that he will be able to leverage who I am already and who I'm becoming to take that Vision to the next level so yes I've done a lot of things in my career and I will continue to do you know I think infinitely more right or exponentially more however I also believe that to see the fullness of what God created me to be I need to be in Partnership and the right man will have a vision where we can leverage my wisdom my talent my grace my beauty my charm my experience all of that stuff to elevate that Vision to the next level yeah there's a reason that I can see my career like what I desire for it but only so far yeah and I've stopped trying to fight God about why don't I want you know more and more and more like you know I I I stopped fighting that because I understand that a portion of that is going to become clear when I'm partnered with the right person and I'm and I'm okay with that so I do need a man to fulfill everything I believe God has created me to do I need a man I need the right man but bring peace appearances are not enough you got to bring peace and purpose yeah yeah yeah listen that's the best thing that I've I would say that a woman has said on my show about men because I think sometimes men we need to hear that and I think we need to hear that from successful woman who technically from on paper financially don't need us but still saying I need you that makes a man feel like it would make that that man who was coming your way he would come after you harder simply because of your heart and your posture and I think certain ladies don't understand your heart and your posture prevents the right man from coming to you men from coming to you because we see you all the time clowning men I don't need a man for this imma build on my own I'm creating my own legacy like you kind of remind me of my sister Sarah Jakes like she's building but she loves the heck out of Tori Robbins like she needs Tori Roberts when she gets off of the stage the first person she's looking for is not her kids not her assistant not her team it's her husband running to him and I'm like yo it's the heart and the posture of that woman's spirit that will attract the right man and I just think that if ladies could understand that that's on the lady's side right but then man we got to step up I gotta step up you know what I'm saying there's some things inside of me that I'm working on with my therapist with my life coach and with my emotional coach so that way because you're saying you're preparing yourself there's some things on the inside of me that I'm preparing and getting rid of so that way I can find the love of my life if I live my life Gonna Be by like five five you know what I'm saying by five six everyone asked me could you date someone taller I'm like I could oh the flip side I could uh-huh I could could you but here we go you know if God said it I could do it I mean if God said it like if he if she came and she had everything and she was about two inches tall yeah two inches taller flat foot so when y'all go out she put her heels on she's five inches taller no honestly I've done that several times actually yeah cause I'm only five what five eight maybe hold on how tall you think I am five five eight because when you're flat are you flat foot now no no so you were like about yeah he was up there my sister my sister was up there you know she's always been up there but I'm like I've never dated someone your height but I have dated someone my ex-fiance when she put on Heels so we were the same height flat when she put on Heels she was up there but I kind of like it though because I can see that never mind let me stop playing with y'all oh my goodness boy hey look at this you need to walk in front of me girl make sure you're all right make sure my God look at the Lord Patrice man you have so much going on in this new season of your life you know what are you working on what are you building that's helping people with the redefining wealth I know you have a heart for ladies I do uh so what are you building right now this new season gonna be like because it has to be dope because you got all this free time now yeah I mean I wouldn't say that I'm still raising a 15 year old who's very active yeah but your daughter's real cool so she ain't that she ain't super cool yeah she's not like a husband you know what I'm saying [Laughter] [Music] no I'm doing a lot more personal development and spiritual growth work okay um because in everything that I've taught over the years that's really the piece that my clients take away most even though I'm teaching business or podcasting or this or that yeah it's really the confidence and conviction to do what God told you to do the First Time come on now like to own your feelings to own your experience and to go from self-awareness to Soul awareness so I do that through two programs now Mastery momentum which is a six month Mastermind where we focus on the pillars and we take people from autopilot to authenticity wow a lot of stuff you've just been doing because you've always done it yeah but it doesn't serve you in this season what gave you life in one season could be killing you in this season so good when God is trying to burn something new and then pillar Mastery which is a micro mine so it's a six-week intensive deep dive um where we get real and raw and I have seen Miracles and break answers happen in a six week period and that's what I take people through their co-created conversations we use the pillars as a framework but I'm not forcing curriculum it's like spirit-led it's beautiful I love it and can we sign up for that anytime or is it is it open closed card so we're we're uh open right now okay at the time that this drops but I think my next pillar Mastery starts in a few weeks okay that's six weeks okay and then the Mastermind as well I'm always enrolling like every other month but we're gonna drop all of her information in today's show notes you guys everything Patrice does y'all I always support her um I think she is just one of the coolest ladies in my life um and I genuinely can't wait her next wedding um I'm going to be on the front row like yo bro that's what I'm talking about my guy um because she's become such a good friend such a good sister and so uh any brothers if you make over uh six figures um if you are six two if you're generous kind and you got to be good looking man you got to be in shape because I've seen I've seen the last ones and bro they good God you know what I'm saying they walk up to me I'm like God don't bruh back up uh you know hey her DMS are open you got to be right don't even slide in there if you if you five five don't even sign there if you five nine it ain't gonna work bro it just ain't gonna work I'm sorry and if you don't love the Lord and if you don't have a heart for people and if you don't know where you're going just stay away honestly I think all men if you don't know where you're going that people probably shouldn't be dating period and I think that's one thing about me is I know exactly where I'm going you know what I find out too some ladies are intimidated by that some ladies call that arrogant controlling because I'm like yo this is where I'm going you can get on or you can stay off and I'm like well how is that controlling if if I have a Clear Vision I'm telling you do you have a vision and can your vision work with my vision my vision work with your vision and we build something together that but one of the guys I broke up with he couldn't articulate his vision what I say now so you know I I know where I'm going and I told one woman maybe we even talk about this I've had I've done a whole show in it I told her listen I'm coming for you tell them other Negroes uh that they can go ahead and step to the side and um I'm looking for marriage she said that that was a narcissist under control she said that you were a narcissist because I simply said this is what I'm doing I'm coming for you to this day we do not talk now she reached out actually recently and was like hey I'm sorry but you know I would too because you've been out here with your chains and your watch on your Louie on and you know what I did reach out I wasn't yeah I'm serious like you know what and I have a whole bunch of stuff and I wasn't gonna wear this because you know I come from this whole era of like not come from I'm teaching people how to be a good Steward of the resources and I was kind of like nervous to to show that for the last 10 years I've been a good a good Steward now I'm really starting to enjoy and by the things I desire building my dream home yes building an amazing team and Pastor Tim Timberlake I know if you know him uh he's the senior pastor of Celebration Church one of the largest church in America he told me on our show here recently um he said um Anthony you need to do what you're doing and show the people that you can have this lifestyle being dead for you and it was like because if you don't what people gonna do they're going to talk about you saying well the reason why because look at Anthony he broke so they're going to talk about you no matter what yeah he was like so let them talk about you but encourage that person who is following you to be like you know what Dang Anthony you got a Louie thing yeah he paid cash aspirational reality people need to see what living by the principles do they need to understand what living by the pillars actually does if I hide everything from you which I did for a season because I was taught yeah we don't yeah so I would show bits and pieces and be scared and I don't want them to think because this is not about money it's not about money but this is what is possible because I do Chase purpose not money I do like pursue purpose relentlessly so it's the byproduct and you need to see an example of someone who lives that way authentically they gonna see him yeah you inspire me now you inspire me you do I can say this y'all then we gonna go she inspired me four years ago she knows she does this but she knows she knows she did this uh she inspired me four years ago she said bro I don't have your following but I made three times your income and when I transitioned into my new season uh I called Patrice day two she don't even know this I was depressed that day I was scared I was nervous and I said Patrice I'm stepping out on my own and I won't say too much but she literally was like bro you're gonna be good and she was like and let me say this you don't need millions of people you don't need thousands of people you need you need some people but you're gonna make way more money just stay true to yourself and yo she was 100 correct what she is teaching ladies Works um and I've watched her from five years ago just I mean just do a lot of great things from best-selling books on a national TV show um and she inspired me because I was like dang I never forget one I never told this Patrice but one day I said in my office I was like yo Patrice was right when I got my first big check my first six figure check and like in one time I okay laughs I said this woman was right like what in the world and ever since then I've never really tried to build this huge um okay how can I serve the people that I currently have following me and trusting me right now and because of that we've been able to build a seven figure brand so love you very quickly I love you you know I love you too we're trying to get a figures within the next two years because I want my team I wanna I want people in my team making six figures seven figures working with me and that is something that that that's my goal it's like okay cool I'm blessed to make this kind of money but hey how can I position the people who helped me start from the beginning like CJ yeah he's already at six figures but how do we get him to make him you know seven figures yeah and then you know I got that's the desire of my heart too for real I've told my team members that come on yeah we even talk about that that's why I see my sister and she can't marry just anybody I can't I don't care I need I need to start looking at all the DMS first yo you guys we love you we're gonna drop Patrice information in today's show notes make sure y'all go subscribe to um her YouTube channel her podcast amazing I mean it is it is amazing I know some of you are already know her uh but if you don't know her follow her rock with her and we'll see on the next show peace out y'all foreign [Music]

Channel: The Table With AO

Views: 48,668

Keywords: women of impact, motivation, inspiration, feeling lost, find your purpose, how to stop feeling lost in life, patrice washington, redefining wealth, anthony oneal, anthony oneal debt free degree, anthony oneal student loans, money, budget, how to save money, personal finance, debt free, how to budget, debt, how to make money, student loans, millennial, divorce, dating, marriage, redefining wealth podcast, purpose, healing after a breakup, love after divorce, lisa bilyeu

Id: 55Sv3dW4Gk0

Length: 58min 32sec (3512 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 19 2023