Healing Broken Relationships

Video Statistics and Information

Video
Captions Word Cloud
Reddit Comments
Captions
today I introduce you to a new message series dealing with relationships families parenting you name it the list is long in today's sort of an introductory to a series that will uh really I'm calling it crisis mode can we get along and uh the answer is a lot of the answer that question a lot of places is not really and so we need some help and uh Timothy Lane once said this 12 relationships are not inherently dangerous expectations we bring to them can be and that is absolutely true so I want to tell you how I realized this series was needed how God worked to uh not nudge me this direction for the series that we will be a part of until we're done I I'm assuming we will be finished after Mother's Day or mid-may but uh if if we're on to something and God's up to something more than I have in mind then we'll continue on until we're we'll go all the way through summer if we need to but I don't think we'll do that but we'll we're ready if that's where God wants to take us every week we invite you to let us know how we can pray for you and you write a prayer request on a card or you can put it on the on when you check in through uh the app and you leave us prayer requests and we're thankful that you do that we're glad you take us up on that we're glad you are willing to leave a prayer request some of those you mark As confidential which we invite and the confidential prayer list is always given only to the pastors and then if you don't Market confidential there's a list that is open to all of our prayer teams and prayer warriors and the staff and Beyond so uh and I look at those every Monday morning and I begin to see a pattern uh escalating there's a variety of concerns shared and we're thankful for that we appreciate you allowing us that privilege but I kept seeing something coming up over and over again and I kept seeing more of it and I'm not surprised by it because I began to see that there were prayer requests for families in conflict many of them it could be a grandparent worried about grandkids it could be someone in their later years who have has not valued a relationship with one of their own children adult children it comes in many faces in many places and many seasons of life and I began to see it more than ever a parent with a child that's messing around with drugs and alcohol or whatever there's so many options these days to mess up your life and our kids are growing up in a very mean world it's a very different world than I grew up in or you grew up in probably but we are having a crisis I believe in families and it's not unique just to the culture it's whatever's happening in culture is also happening to us as well and so we need to talk about it I I see and hear about things a great deal that our family is divided over political and social issues and we have been manipulated and we have been intentionally divided and I call it the dumbing down of the country and I've never seen as many people stand in front of cameras sometimes telling a lie they know it's a lie and they say it anyway it kind of goes back to why I said last week it's so important that we get the facts and know the truth about everything and it's hard to find them these days now you know that I don't talk politics I'm not going to today go vote is the is the extent of it for me that's it just go vote if you don't like what's going on vote but it's I'm not here to advise you politically that's not the role of a church now we can do some of that in classrooms maybe on Wednesday nights or Sundays but that's not what we do on Sunday mornings but I want you to understand we are in a very divided divisive season across the board it's messing up churches there are churches and denominations that are splitting pastors are quitting at an alarming rate and there are things taking place for the body of Christ that are embarrassing to me the way we are treating each other in social media and as I said I know you're tired of hearing it I'm just not tired of saying it yet if I were not a believer I was social media would be all it would take for me to say if that's how they treat each other I don't need that I don't need to be a part of that I get enough people mad at me and angry and saying things about me I don't need to go to church and hear it in person that's a big hot spot for me it's hard to help people find and follow Jesus and I said this last Sunday relationships families business partners we're all dealing with a high level of anger in our families and I do believe it is a crisis so let's talk about it First Corinthians 13 Paul was having a bit of a crisis in the Corinthian Church and if you look at the chapters coming up toward chapter 13 of Philip of Corinthians you'll see that there were issues of unity in the church people had discovered the gifts they had various gifts and talents and opportunities and someone started thinking that theirs was more important than another some things never change and so Paul finally kind of says I can't stand he does a Popeye I love the Popeye moment some of when I say Popeye in the venue they won't even know what I'm talking about but uh Popeye was a cartoon it was a cartoon I watched as a kid I'm Popeye the Sailor Man and he would he would come to this point where he'd go I can't stand it no more I just can't stand it no more and I can't stand it no more Paul can't stand it no more so he writes First Corinthians 13. and I know we read it at weddings and it is about love but Paul was addressing a divided church that couldn't keep their focus where it belonged so I will show you the most excellent way if I speak in human or Angelic tongues but do not have love I'm only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol if I have the gift of Prophecy if I can fathom all Mysteries and all knowledge if I have faith that can move mountains but do not have love I am nothing if I give all I possess to the poor give my body over to hardship that I may boast but do not have love I gain nothing love is patient love is kind it does not envy it does not boast it is not proud it does not dishonor it is not self-seeking it's not easily angered it keeps no record of wrong love does not Delight in evil but rejoices with truth it always protects always trusts always hopes always perseveres love never fails but where there are prophecies they will cease where there are languages or tongues they will cease where there's knowledge it will pass away all these things we argue about he's saying this these things will pass away for now we really only know in part that when the completeness comes what is what is part what is in part disappears when I was a child I talked like a child I thought like a child I reason like a child when I became a man I put the ways of childhood behind me for now we see only reflection is in a mirror but then someday we will see face to face now I know only in part I just know what I know he's saying then I shall know fully even as I'm fully known and now these three remain faith hope and love and the greatest of these is love great quote by Timothy Lane while relationships are not inherently dangerous the expectations we bring to them are and that's where we get off the rails what is it going to take why we're going to are we going to spend at least the next five or six weeks on this because we're in a crisis point so there's several things I believe of Summer to kind of summarize where we're headed we'll I'll give you five five or six things here that are part of this series and we'll dig into as many of them as we can starting next week I think the first thing it's going to take if we ask ourselves what's it going to take to get our family back into some sense of unity what will it take to get churches back into Unity what will it take now please know I'm extremely thankful for this church I'm thankful for my team I'm thinking of our elders our leaders I'm thankful for thousands of volunteers because I do not at any given week somebody's going to walk out here and think that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard him say you know and there's times you'll say that was one of the best things I've ever heard him say I was one of your best sermons and when people say that was the best one I've ever heard out of you and I want to go you mean the last 39 years has not been that good so there there's clearly we're all humans we don't always agree but I'm so thankful we do have unity in this church we are of one mind and one heart and our focus is Jesus we want to be like him we want to know him we want to become like him and we'll learn about that through the Bible from cover to cover and I'm thankful for that in this church but what's it going to take to help us and our families help us at work to help us in the neighborhood to help people around us here we go first one is this you've got to have a really Clear Vision of a desired future what do you want your family to look like in five years 10 years 15 years I never forget when our our first child was born Tyler he's a little boy and and he he just he just sort of came out of the womb ready to go to work I mean his eyes wide open he they put him in the warmer for a minute and then get him cleaned up you know and he's laying on his belly and I'm looking down at you I'm I got down like this and and I mean his eyes were wide open and it was like he was saying to me get me out of here I mean he was just a natural-born leader and he is he's doing great things as a leader I love all three of my kids I'm just talking about the oldest one now so Cole and Kristen chill I'll get to you in the series some of the time but I remember thinking what was my our first child it was very traumatic for me I was over in the chair with hot towels on my head Paul Kim was having a baby and uh just the model husband you know she also gave me a look and you know what that look was apparently so we'll leave it there but I remember thinking when I held him for the first time and with each of our kids it's been the same I'm responsible for how they're going to see this world Kim and I and we were so thankful for parents we're very very fortunate we've had parents who love the Lord Who Loved Jesus who showed us Jesus we're very thankful for that and they played a huge role in our in our family's lives as the kids were growing up and continued to what do you want your family to look like in five years or ten years I think sometimes we get all caught up in the moment we make quick decisions or we say things we regret where are you headed in your marriage what do you want to accomplish in your family what kind of kids do you want to raise you know I'm stunned these days how many and I I I this may be aggravating some of you but I'm absolutely stunned these days that even good church-going folks think their kids will be just fine whether or not they go to church and I want to tell you what the anchor for me was good parents and grandparents but we had a good church my brother and I grew up in churches that loved us they didn't just talk about Jesus they showed us what it looked like I can't imagine taking that peace out of my life I sure wouldn't be standing here if that were the case when I was a kid what is the desired future what kind of adults do you want your children to be it takes a sense of vision to look out the future out into the future and decide where are we headed and is it the right direction what mid-course correction might we consider so that's the first one that we need to consider is a vision a Clear Vision of a desired future secondly there must be a commitment to spiritual growth we must commit that we are going to grow spiritually and again that seems to have been left off the table I hear parents say occasionally I'm going to let them make that decision well that's just brilliant do you let them make other decisions at 15 that could change their life what happened to us are we committed or not to help our kids know Jesus follow Jesus and have this sense of the conscience in them that it's not that they might think twice before they do something they shouldn't be doing but they might think about I know I'm loved by my Mom and Dad I'm loved by Jesus this will be disappointing this will be sinful but if that hasn't been put in them why would we expect any different outcome when I was a child First Corinthians 13 11 when I was a child I talked like a child I thought like a child I reason like a child when I became a man I put childish ways behind me but we have to help our kids put those childish ways behind them God's vision for all of us is to grow up to mature spiritually to have a mature outlook on life maturity by definition means to be complete in natural growth or development and I believe the depth and quality of a marriage and a family is in direct correlation to the level of spiritual maturity in that marriage spiritual maturity means in the power and love of Jesus we can face the toughest obstacles and what every marriage has them every family has them maturity means we're willing to deal with issues that are taking place either within us or within a relationship that could destroy us the power of Christ at work within us gives us what we need to accomplish these things but my goodness we decide and we can just handle it it's not that big of a deal a third one so we have a clear vision of a desired future a commitment to spiritual growth no let me just say this no no one brings a child into this world and says we'll get a roof over your head and decent food around the table beyond that you're on your own no one goes down the aisle to get married and says let's just give this a try and if we get you know if doesn't work we'll just get divorced Vision just simply means I'm going to do my best to understand how God has wired us up now then we move to the third one with that in mind and it's a commitment to intimacy intimacy Romans 12 9 love must be sincere love must be sincere I just read it love is patient kind doesn't Envy doesn't boast is not proud not rude not self-seeking not easily angered now that's the ideal and there are times in our lives we miss that Mark but it's supposed to be patient I'm not the most patient person said that intimacy happens in a marriage and in a family when there are four commitments then the just every relationship we have every friendship we have the first three of the four are time talk and Trust that's what we need in in relationships that we have in our friendships we spend time with people that are our friends we we talk we feel comfortable talking things through with these this friend these friends we have and I hope we all have friends like that we do and I hope you do too where you can talk about anything and you can trust them that they'll keep it to themselves and not turn it into a chance to gossip so every every friendship or relationship needs time and talk and trust but then the marriage relationship takes it up that Notch that's supposed to time talk trust and touch unfortunately so many of these days and throughout history get it exactly backwards we start with touch then go to trust and then we talk and then we so that and you just turn it completely upside down and you can only imagine the result you're going to get many people have tried that approach but it needs to happen and that's the ideal don't I'm not going to I don't want to take you back on any guilt trips if you did it the backwards you may have done that when you didn't know the difference maybe you didn't know that that wasn't the best way that God had in mind for you to develop this relationship together so let's not go back to guilt that won't help anything at this point and and the Satan I promise you has already started stirring in your minds somewhere where you're going man I really blew that often guilt's going to start Welling enough if it's needed pay attention to it but if it's been dealt with and prayed out and forgiven then this is just the enemy throwing it out in your face and don't let him do that we must have a commitment to intimacy a feeling of being close and emotionally connected and supported that's what that means the fourth one we need to make a commitment to clarity we'll talk about this clarity First Corinthians 13 5-6 it keeps no record of wrongs love does not Delight in evil but rejoices with truth Ephesians 4 15 and 16. God wants us to grow up to know the whole truth to tell it in love like Christ in everything we take our lead from Christ this is Ephesians 4 4. we take our lead from Christ who's the source of everything we do he keeps us in step with each other that's why it is so important that church a church that claims to be following Jesus exalting Jesus praying Jesus learning about Jesus and learning through the Bible what this looks like how we live it out this means that we have to be willing to tell the truth to each other because it's in everything we do Christ it says who's the source of everything he keeps us in step with each other he does how much does your relationship mean to you are all your relationships for that matter how much does it mean to you how interested are you in keeping it alive keeping it vibrant there's got to be clarity we've got to tell the truth to each other and that means gut level truth Matthew 12 25 says this a town or a family splintered by feuding will fall apart a town or a family splintered by feuding will fall apart will fall apart we have to have the courage to tell truth to get real to talk things through to wrestle with whatever you've got to wrestle with and then the fifth and last one or no number five there's one more number five there must be a commitment to wise counsel a commitment to wise counsel uh Psalm 1 1-3 happy are those who reject the advice of evil people who do not follow the example of Sinners or join those who have no use for God instead they enjoy they find joy in obeying the Lord obeying the Lord and obeying the law of the Lord and they study it day and night they're like trees that grow beside a stream and they succeed in everything they do that's how this was supposed to happen love would always it always protects and trusts and hopes and perseveres that's First Corinthians 13 7. Proverbs 15 plans fail for a lack of wise counsel Proverbs 12 15 the way of fool seems right to them but the wise listen to good advice we need a commitment to wise counsel that's why we have so many support groups Counseling Center we can refer you to Great counselors I'll never forget the day it hit me that I needed to put something together where we had good quality Christian counselors available to us and this was back when I think there were three of us on staff me and Jeff Stewart and Sharon Bromley and I remember a young man coming in to talk to me I knew him well he's part of the church and he came about my age at the time and he came in and wanted to talk to me and he told me he had a drinking problem a serious drinking problem and we talked we prayed but when he walked out of my office I realized I'm really not equipped to help him with what he needs as much as I love him as much as I wanted I want to be there for him I really don't know how to help him get the next step going one thing that hit me that day was he wanted to just try to find Jesus any Jesus for him had been hard to find he'd been shown kind of like a ladder you're going to climb the spiritual ladder and he couldn't he couldn't reach the first rung to even get started so I began to look around the community what what's available out here what can we start doing so we started a but we put in our budget and our budget was not of what it is now these are days the annual budget of the church in those days was about 165 000 annually I think we need that now about every week I don't know 25 million is the current budget no debt all Ministry can't help but throw that in so we started a fund in our little budget that we will pay for people to get counseling and it kept growing and growing that's why we now have co-counseling staff we have to be committed to get help I love counseling and I've got a list of counselors I've talked to over the last 40 years I've worn five of them out I mean I just that's why I said you need you need to go on to the next one I've never hesitated to pick up the phone and call a good counselor and and even the folks upstairs every now and then I say you got a few minutes don't be afraid of that I'm not ashamed of it some of the best decision I've ever made were to seek wise counsel from people who knew what they were talking about who knew how to help somebody with whatever they're going through ultimately I'd be invited unbeknownst to me I was being I thought I was going to lunch with a friend and he took me to a 12-step meeting and they wanted what am I doing here and then I found out what I was doing there my life changed in this dingy dark room over on 50th and Western with a friend who said you need to see what this thing's all about boy am I glad I got that invitation a commitment to wise counsel and then finally a commitment to forgiveness as we travel through this series we need to be probably starting start praying now Lord we're going to stir some things up and I need you to help me forgive and I need you to help me receive your forgiveness and again I tell you if it's been dealt with and over don't let it back in and the enemy would love to do that it all hinges on forgiveness Ephesians 4 32 be kind and loving to each other and forgive each other just as God forgave you I've often found that people who have trouble receiving forgiveness from God have great difficulty giving it to others that's the beauty of knowing that you're loved with an everlasting love you're loved enough for someone to take the nails on a cross and demonstrate what real love looked like a sacrifice that was made for us so it would make a way for us to know what forgiveness looked like we have to be committed to forgiveness it's critical it's vital First Corinthians 13 13 and now these three remain Faith open love and the greatest of these the greatest of these is love Luke 6 37 forgive and you'll be forgiven which is a really good reason to work through forgiving someone you're having trouble forgiving forgive and you will be forgiven in Matthew 6 14. if you forgive God will forgive you if you don't forgive you will not be forgiven you can't give away what you don't have Matthew 5 says if you're sitting in church or at the altar getting ready to take communion and you remember there's a you've not done the hard work of forgiving or reconciling with someone Jesus says you get up right away and even before the service is over you just go out now and go go be reconciled to your brother and then come back to the altar see how serious this is to Jesus how critical this is to relational and emotional health Colossians 3 13 forgive as the Lord forgave you that's why I love it when people discover just how much they've been loved and forgiven by God and they didn't know that there's a lot of people in this world who've been introduced to a God who was ticked off to a god who's just ticked off Romans 15 1-7 taken together verses four through seven portray love as selfless seeking the good of the other first and foremost love is what God in Christ has shown us and done for others there in in their helpless plight and hapless estate as sinners in love this is an explanation of Romans 15 1-7 in love we take God's sides share his Outlook and Implement his designs we treat our neighbors as we know God has treated us Louis Meads has done a lot of writing a long long time ago and he says this and I'll close with this love does not move us to seek Justice for ourselves but it should drive us to move Heaven and Earth to seek Justice for others agape love does not disguise or unleash anger it does not remove irritants from our lives or reduce irritability by by forbidding anger rather it meets our deepest needs enabling us to respond differently to the Raging circumstances we're facing reduce the potential for frustration gives us the power to communicate in an appropriate way increases our gratitude for the way God has worked in our lives so will you please be in prayer as we journey into probably one of the most difficult Seasons I can recall in my life where we're simply being divided we're allowing division to come into our homes we're allowing to Vision to come into our churches we're allowing it in every other area and if we as followers of Jesus Christ can't step up and bring a solution to that then nobody can he is our Peacemaker he is our forgiver he is the one who makes us hold he is the one who will give us the courage the desire to want to help other people find what you found an old line of the 12 Steps we're all just Beggars helping other Beggars find bread we're going to serve out some serious bread in the next five or six weeks invite a friend invite family and we're going to turn to Jesus and watch how he wants us to treat each other I'm going to pray and after I pray we'll invite the prayer teams if the prayer teams could make their way to the front of all of our rooms and the prayer team would be available to pray about anything that's on your mind you may have walked in with something totally unrelated to what I've said and you just need someone to pray with you or for you or help you to carry maybe a difficult burden you're carrying for a friend or a loved one let us pray for you and be an honor and they'll be across the front of all of our rooms men and women alike ready to pray as needed let's pray as we close loving father we thank you so much for the privilege the freedom we have together and father we thank you that um you have demonstrated to us your love for us cover to cover in the Bible father you have given us all we need through Christ to be the kind of people you know are capable of being to build good relationships not perfect ones and father we know that not all relationships can continue there are seasons where they have to part ways there's biblical examples of that father we see that we know that we realize that the Lord give us the courage to at least have the necessary conversations that might begin building a bridge or a relationship has been scarred we trust you we need you we cry out to you and we do so in the powerful name of Jesus amen
Info
Channel: Crossings Community Church
Views: 247
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords:
Id: FD42ZjbHLWo
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 32min 10sec (1930 seconds)
Published: Mon Apr 17 2023
Related Videos
Note
Please note that this website is currently a work in progress! Lots of interesting data and statistics to come.