Harvard-04-Leadership Coaching I-Psychology of Leadership-Tal Ben Shahar [eTati].mp4

hi good morning good morning hi so I'm glad you made it in this treacherous weather and today is our first guest lecture first in a in a list of illustrious experience and and thoughtful lecturers the reason I invited dr. Daniel Kennedy to this to this class to talk to us about coaching is because she has the unique combination of being an expert practitioner having worked in executive coaching for a long time having worked with senior executives from top organizations throughout the country and what she also brings is a very deep understanding and thinking about the topic which very much is in line with with our approach in this course the combination of action and reflection so dr. Danielle Kennedy is going to give us the introductory lecture to coaching I'm going to build on that in the next lecture and as you know coaching your coaching in Europe being a Kochi is a central part probably the central part of this course it's what will ultimately help you help us in our leadership development so it's a great honor to have Danielle Kennedy thank thank you thank you tow I think the first order of business is for me to feel some kind of presence here be present here and I want to be with you and spend the next 45 minutes as productively as possible but in order to do that I want to say something about the fact that I was a about professor stone whose presence I feel here very much he was a I wouldn't be here actually he introduced me at all and he was a close personal friend and a mentor and inspire and I just feel like you guys should know that about me so that I can be here with you the other thing I want to say right off the bat is that I am an a practitioner I don't I don't teach leadership I don't do much studying about it but I do a lot of practicing of leadership and it's been a passionate interest of mine most most of my career so this is this part is going to be the theory in action not there not the theory so much what we're going to do today is focus on leadership development as as its expressed in executive coaching I'm going to describe the field tell you something about the process and some of the core techniques that I use in my work I'm not sure there there are all kinds of executive coaches people are using all sorts of different methodologies today I will tell you a little bit about the methodology that I use and then if we have time I'd like to show you a case example or tell you a little bit about the specifics of it and one of the big issues about leadership development is is it really different from human development this if one is a fully developed human being is it is it possible to be a better leader and I don't really know the answer to that question I haven't had a whole lot of luck differentiating human development from leadership development I myself drawn a psychodynamic model and a developmental model a developmental cognitive model I started out maybe the psychodynamic model you all know is psychoanalytic Freud and object relations theory clinical developmental theory and then cognitive development I tend to use the model by Bob Keegan who talks about subject object balance and how each of us through the course of our lives as we develop become increasingly capable of moving our perspective farther and farther and farther away in our capacity to observe ourselves in a situation started out as a social worker and my first job sort of bottom-of-the-barrel entry-level job and Social Work is child welfare I mean it's sad but true it should be probably one of the top level jobs but you know initially it was my job to help keep children at risk alive so what I found myself doing was helping their mothers lead their lives trying to help their mothers lead their own lives so they could provide some containments and leadership for their own child so I like to think about the progression from leading one's own life to leading one's family to leading tasks and projects teams organizations conglomerates causes Nations I see it as a ever expanding circle where if one actually has the capacity to be in charge of one's self your capacity to be a leader is enhanced okay I want to differentiate off the back between managing and leading executive coaches is actually provide a help in both of these domains I differentiate them by thinking of managers doing technical work and technical work as defined as the sort of work that you do when you know what the answer is when you know what is supposed to happen when you know that technology so it's getting people to also learn the technology and getting them to use it efficiently where I see leadership is adaptive work leadership is when we don't know the answer and our job is to lead some kind of process problem-solving process toward developing an answer finding an answer innovating and answer to problems so here we have the leadership lifecycle and coaches tend to get engaged around the transitions between these between these proficiencies first there's the star performer the individual performer who is in charge of him or herself next moving to manager who's somebody who can I remember my first job as manager was night manager at the village dairy and I was in charge of myself and the cleanup person and the keys to the place at night it was something I learned how to master and there were answers to that but then the big transition where I think a lot of coaches spend most of their time is this this one whoops this one here between manager and leader because of course that's where one has to leave the page and enter into a world of managing uncertainty doubt anxious people dependent people where leadership really gets to be an art as well as a science then at culture definers this is this would be coaching CEOs and people who are actually defining a culture in their organizations and then finally legacy creators which I don't I don't think I've ever really worked with anybody in the stoom in a professional sense okay I've got two definitions of executive coaching here what is it this is from the forum handbook the executive coaching forum handbook executive coaching is an experiential and in divide individualized leadership development process that builds a leaders capacity to reach short and long term organizational goals it's conducted through one-on-one interactions driven by data derived from multiple perspectives and based on mutual trust and respect the organization the executive and the coach work in partnership to achieve maximum impact most most of the coaching work that I do as I'm hired by the company to work with the executive now a lot of coaches actually are hired by the executive themselves but when the when the organization and the executive are both involved it's essentially you kind of have two clients you're dealing with the organization as well as dealing with the executive and this definition emphasizes that here's the second definition it's a one-on-one confidential work with executives aimed at enhancing their current and future effectiveness that is developmental not value ativ unconditional regard from the coach so it's not evaluated focused on process not technical or industry content so it's not a McKenzie or a Bain or a monitor the company I work for or I work with two companies now but they're both small boutiques and one is an international boutique that does only executive coaching at top of the house coaching so it's about processing not content it's not therapy it's and that's an important distinction and it's the reason it's not therapy is because it's focused on a person in a role I recently started with a client not recently two years ago started with a young client at a university administration not this University she was a superstar and had been recruited to come across the country to work in her new role and very young for the role so they thought it'd be smart to hire a coach and so she didn't choose it at all she was told that she was going to come to the new job and and meet her coach which was qusai and she said I don't get this what do you you know what are we supposed to do when are we supposed to talk about what are you here for and then I told her a little bit about what I expected to happen and she said oh I get it it's therapy for my job and I actually thought that that was a pretty good definition about what it is but it is just for one's job okay I'm going to give you a little history how it developed it executive coaching emerged really in that sort of late 80s early 90s it was part of management consulting interventions you can just imagine if you're a management consulting firm and you go in and that company's ask you how can i leverage my my company my investment here it's not unusual that you would look at your people and say well you know this is your major investment and this is the major upside potential for improving business so in mid-90s when things were just booming with the internet bubble there was a wealth of resources and a very tight labor market so it's when the sort of well-known Harvard Business School article entitled the war for talent came out and companies found that it was really much cheaper to develop their talent than it was to go find and keep hunting for talent so the executive leadership executive coach field appeared came on the scene the other side that was happening was the during managed care and the psychopharmacology advances there were a lot of underemployed and underutilized clinicians out there who could easily transfer the developmental model that they were doing in clinical work to the business scene so there was a rich number of people who were available to do it and companies when they tried coaching found that they had a tremendous return on their so there was also a lot of in the in the 90s there was there was a big sort of upside edge around computer applications of developmental tools so that computer-based feedback model the three so-called 360 model do you all know what that is 360 model is getting feedback for for performance from the boss peers and the direct reports so that you get feedback from the entire surround of people who experience the effect or the impact of your performance so because you can fill these forms out on the computer you could get pretty interesting 360 feedback data for people which was extremely valuable and then also computer based testing enabled us to have work profiles personality profiles from larger numbers of people with with feedback so that that was also valuable so to pull this all together the one-on-one counsel of a coach or a person who could help an executive integrate all this information came out of the center for creative leadership that's sort of what set the standard in the field for someone who could actually help you take all these sources of data and make sense out of them so that you can utilize them for your own development on the supply side their coaching is really sort of worse pretty much in the Wild West or the frontier days of coaching it's completely unregulated there's an open marketplace of ideas and methods if any of you think that you're interested in this kind of field you're you know you're a wonderful time in your life chronologically to be entering it there's high creativity and innovation people are trying everything you're going to have some interesting speakers in this course who are doing things with the corporate athlete and energy and physical stuff and you know artistic stuff and there's just it's just very very wide open at this point there's also of course equal application equal opportunity for misapplication misuse and misplaced effort proliferation of resources they're everywhere everybody's a coach I don't know whether you're aware of this at your level but if you go out into the business world everybody has a coach everybody you run into is trying to be a coach doing a little coaching a little of this a little bit it's really very popular they're beginning to be some rudiments of regulation but there's no common definition theory based qualifications research professional organization it's all wide open now on the demand side from the executives point of view they love the idea of executive coaching because essentially these days because the the boom is over and the bubble burst everybody's being expected to do more with less the emerging global perspective is now putting tremendous pressure on executives because I really don't think we have a good way to do international business it's it's puts enormous pressure on people who are traveling back and forth from continents and and teams that are trying to communicate on the telephone and so executive coaches or executives definitely need some help making decisions about how to manage people in that regard there's heightened scrutiny and accountability and the same thing I was saying before the scorecard now that your performance review in most organizations at higher levels is enormous ly rich robust complicated information so that people have lots and lots of feedback about how they're doing and they don't know exactly what to do with it all they have poor work-life balance people are working enormously long hours many many days sometimes every day and executive salaries are so high that people feel that somehow there their time has already been bought all this adds up to an enormous appetite for some reflective space a relationship with somebody can help you think about how you're going to get where you're going and particularly someone who's outside the organization somebody for whom you have no worries about them reporting back to your boss or to your those who evaluate your performance now organizations are getting smart because they're starting to think about who's coaching in their organizations just imagine a big company like American Express if the top 400 800 1,200 people all have coaches it's very hard to regulate who's doing what what standards are being set and so this we're getting some pushback in the coaching field about oversight issues of confidentiality are a little harder to hold people want to know who you're seeing how often what the goals are the goals are being reached and there's also a growing commoditization in the field so that there's no you can you can get a coach online or you can go to people can go to coach you and sort of do only telephone coaching so you can understand why companies are concerned ok I want to give you a sense of what the wins when it's indicated these are the top 10 from the boutique coaching firm that I work for the somebody kept track of all the presenting problems why people call the self asking for coaches and you can see creating and leading a high-performing team it's very high developing direct reports holding people accountable time management these are all the qualities the skills of leadership and management that you are going to be studying and thinking about in this course how do people choose a coach it's very important that you get a good fit obviously it's in a relationship a one-on-one relationship of enormous trust so they're people who want to have you know there are all kinds of different executives and they want different kinds of coaches some people like information and in right some people are you know brash tough tough crusty people who want to be hit over the head asked to have a professional nag other people like to see it as being given a gift somebody who comes to visit them on a regular basis talks them on a regular basis and helps them feel given to you know that's only three of an infinite numbers of styles that you can think about for a coach it's not uncommon when you're seeking a coach to meet with several different people see what it feels like to be with them and there is a proliferation now of authorizing organizations there are seven hundred seven thousand members now who belong to the International coaching Federation regulation here are just some of the logos of companies that are trying to market and develop businesses based on the coaching industry okay I'd like to talk a little bit about the way I work and it's pretty hard actually to think about how I work you know you and you do something most of your life you develop talents and skills and styles and preferences that are pretty hard to articulate because they become tacit and not very easy to notice if it's you but I tend to use these three concepts and I think there are three concepts that you're going to you're going to hear much more about and read much more about in this course authority authenticity and adaptive capacity Authority is you know first of all let's think about how important authority is I mean if you are if you're a leader you are leading people they're depending on you you have a followership they are observing or engaged with your authority and how they experience your authority will have everything to do with how well your your enterprise goes how well your campaign goes how well your project goes so we define authority as the right to do work so for example if a cop pulls you over on the highway you most of us don't have too much trouble acknowledging their authority we don't say in whose authority do you work it's pretty it's pretty clear on the other hand if somebody comes up to you and says you're you know your tire is low your right tire needs to be repaired occasionally we might have that you know like who gave you the right to tell me that what's your authority to tell me that so the rights to work is usually conveyed formally with a role so you get appointed to a role you have certain privileges certain authorization in your role and there's also something called personal Authority or people who say they are self authorized and these are Larry Gould who's a professor of leadership at CUNY has this sense has this concept of personal authority developed and he calls it the right to be the right to take up your role and when you think about the difference between management and leadership if you want to move from management to leadership you have to take some risks and try something new and you often don't have the authority the Frank authority to do that and great leaders have actually will almost always tell you that they took up their own personal authority to do something different to go against the grain so it's a concept I like to talk I'll I use a lot now there's a whole theory of Authority called the Tavistock of the group relations theory and it was pioneered by a group in the UK at the tavataa Tavistock Institute in the mid-40s it was actually came out after the the Second World War when because of telecommunications where people were probably for the first time able to know pretty pretty real-time what was happening in different parts of the world and also psychology had burst onto the scene in the 50s and people had great hopes that we could take psychology and apply it to the study of groups and social systems in such a way that we could actually make the world a better place so this work was pioneered by a man named Wilfred beyond or by on B IO n who study who tried to take what we know about psychology and psychoanalysis and what we knew about a general Systems Theory and put it together in a way that we might be able to predict how large groups of people will behave under certain conditions so the study of authority and leadership in both overt and covert manifestations is the topic of the group relations theorist and I wrote a quotation here for more in Venice who's one of my favorite leadership thinkers and and this is drawn from your reading for this course but he says as a nation as organizations and as individuals we fear taking risks the context of our work and personal lives reinforces a set of common values attitudes and perceptions that discourages us from standing out in a crowd that calls for playing it safe and of course great leaders are not people who ever played it safe understanding this includes learning about the context that limits the full expression of leadership this context is inherited from our youth and shapes our current view of ourselves as long as it remains invisible to us we cannot shift our thinking or our behavior to feel to fill the leadership gap so the study of authority actually in two places where we can see things that we could not see before these covert processes and authority is also traced back into history which is also something that I think is very important if one is trying to develop leadership capacity there's a lot of theory about the first organization the first acts of leadership being in your first relationship so here's a quote from this is a book entitled lost in familiar places meaning that leaders get lost out there on the edge trying to lead something but in fact what where they're really lost is inside in the familiarity of their internal theater so individuals carry with them a model of organizational life that's derived from their early family experiences and their roles within the family they learn customary ways of relating to Authority listening to the experiences of others and collaborating around shared tasks so it just makes sense doesn't it that the way you would take up doing a task outside the home has something to do with the way you observed it happening inside the home now Freud argued that an individual responds to actual authority figures in his current life by transferring and projecting onto them the images of authority figures from the past which he still carries in his mind so one of my one of my clients actually gave me this quote which i think is really a wonderful one he said leaders are never as responsible as people think they are for the upside and nor are they responsible for the failures that what Freud said are these these projections these enormous hopes and and projections transferences onto leaders create leaders actually create the power of leadership because we as dependent followers give leaders our authorization to take up their roles and those patterns get started very early and when you when you do coaching with leaders it's very helpful to think about what their patterns are we do a complete family history so that we actually know these try to identify these constellations well how do I get rid of that like that okay the other in second days authenticity also something you're going to hear about in this class a bit more of the theorists that I depend on is Donald Winnicott who's a clinician a child psychiatrist who talked about true self false self identity he's responsible for the concept of the holding environment and transitional object these are those of you who have done any studying about development in psychology would have heard of these topics but true self is the real self false self gets started in the first relationship when there's a lot of pressure to be somebody and behave in certain ways that take a lot of effort that are not really true to oneself so if you had a parent who wanted you to be to make them to reflect positively on them to be a good child to learn how to speak early to learn how to to perform early what children do is they they look out of love they comply and they create their these certain behaviors that will please their parents but necessarily what happens is that the true self is set aside and the false self is developed and it's impossible to follow a leader I believe to truly follow a leader you don't trust to be real so authenticity has a great deal to do with with leadership and it's often helpful to think about what the early early messages were about one's false self because of course we all have it we can't avoid it I mean parents want us to do through you know we have to learn and grow and survive in a world and parents have to teach us how to do that so it's it's a it's it's certain kind of give-and-take around this but it's very helpful because people who want to climb the corporate of course are very busy coming across with the right behaviors so how do you balance authenticity with performance which actually brought me back to this poem that you've been using here in this class it's Yeats poem about the falconer and the Falcon which again if you have a falconer who is expecting you to do things and fly to places that are not easy for you and are definitely stretches then the full self can can get stretched too far and then the center doesn't hold ok adaptive capacity is the is the last a and I think that you know as people as we become a more complicated technological knowledge worker based work country of workers we need to be more adaptive they're fewer managers and more leaders and so adaptation is definitely called for the model I like to use is Ron Heifetz this model which very simply stated is the steps of getting on the balcony identifying the adaptive challenge regulating distress maintaining disciplined action giving the work back to the stakeholders the people who really care about whether the work is getting done and protecting the voices of leadership beneath you okay well let's shift gears to the process of executive coaching is pretty it most coaches are settling on this process it's becoming a standard in the field contracting data gathering delivering feedback development planning coaching and evaluating I'm going to go through each of these the 360 verbatim feedback and the pursuit of congruence is exactly where coaching is going these days this is a quote from Robert Burns that talks about oh what some power the gif tedious to see ourselves as others see us so there's lots of data now that shows that if there's congruence between the way we see ourselves and the way others see us we're going to be more successful in our work endeavors I think it has you know it's probably has something to do with trust probably has something to do with how well you read and can predict what you can and cannot do in a certain situation so what we do for the in coaching is we collect data from the surround the boss peers direct reports most often the spouse and when we can when the budget permits we do parents and children and friends so we get a holistic picture of who the client is this promotes self-awareness builds rapport and creates motivation for change the way it builds rapport is that because we do verbatim feedback and what I do is when I do an interview I'll go and literally type exactly what my interview is saying and then compile a document which I'll show you with direct quotes on it and in doing so I become a fellow traveler with my client so that should I hit that button again Barry twice okay so I become a fellow traveler with my client and we get a document that looks something like this so here's here's a sample document from a guy named Tom so we're asking what are Tom's greatest strengths as a contributor to Meridian this is just a mock up compilation of different different people's feedback it's well-protected confidentiality but we put down what Tom said about what his greatest strengths are what the CEO said what the peers said so they're following down here there are several peers and then what the direct reports set so so what we get is as surround now there's another document that I didn't copy a separate document that has the family data in it but we asked the same questions so we can see the parallels between what the workplace sees is the executive strengths and what the family and friends see is the executive strengths and you know often they're very very closely aligned way back ok good ok so it builds rapport because the executive reads reads all this stuff together with me when I do the interviews I sometimes have assistants who helped me with the interviews and so I never read all the interviews until I'm literally sitting with the client and so the client can turn to me were shoulder to shoulder and say oh my goodness is this something you could help me with so rather than me bringing him or her the news of what the what the community thinks of their leadership I'm in fact noticing it along with them and so we become partners and change rather than me leading the way so the contracting is simply you know it's sort of a business tactic of making sure that you do a good assessment you hear their story you ask questions you present the options and then you create some sort of pathway forward then we do the data collection and it's very important what information we gather so here's here's another list of the questions that we ask and it's a very very detailed this is the the product that we use because it's top of the house and people are very curious about their performance we do a very very detailed questionnaire so each of these questions are asked of the 10 or 12 people in the study and we get a verbatim document that usually is perhaps a hundred pages long of quotations for each of these questions so here are the leadership qualities that you all have read a little bit about in your around traits and then we do relationships with the direct reports so we would ask things like broad-brush how would you describe those relationships how effectively does the team function as a team how clearly do her direct reports know what she expects of them how does she hold them accountable how effectively does she coach and develop her people so we go through the interviews usually take about an hour and we probe what's nice about doing them live is that you have the opportunity if somebody says if you say how good a listener is she and the person thinks for a while and says pretty good we know enough we're on a questionnaire on an online questionnaire you wouldn't necessarily get an answer to that we would say gee you pause there I'm wondering why and then that then the interviewee might say well you know she really doesn't listen at all so then we start to get the real data which is very helpful for having a live person to the interview so there there's a question there are questions about relationships with superiors integrity and congruence which is a very big factor in leadership the emotional confidence which is sort of EQ the the things that Daniel Goleman is writing about how openly and appropriately does she reveal both positive negative feelings does she have a sense of humor can she laugh at himself that should be her how does she react to criticism how well does she balance her personal life with her work life and then we do a wrap-up at the end about current effectiveness in the future and we asked literally do you think he's in the right job and if not why not and what are her career aspirations what do you think really motivates him what do you think the future holds for him what would she like to be remembered for so you began to get a really deep picture of how this executive is seen and the executive hears what people really think where people think they're going in their life and what their potential for reaching their goals is in that organization and at the end can you see this what do you think you could do to help which then turns the interview into an vention of sorts okay that's the document reader right here we go okay so these are the things that we look at these are the people that we talk to this is how we gather we gather at verbatim it's anonymous so that the client is quoted the boss is quoted but the peers and direct reports are anonymous and when I'm collecting the data or my colleagues are collecting the data if somebody says something that Flags who they are we ask them to change it to recraft the sentence and then we read it again before we compile the documents so that people can really be assured that they're giving anonymous and detailed data and also the only way that we can do this in an organization is if we guarantee that the client that the data belongs to the client that is that we show it to no one else and if the boss sees it if anyone sees it it's only through the client they're the gatekeeper of all the information so the feedback session is usually a day or two at an off-site the coaches as I said a partner in change not a driver of change and it's a reflective space and I showed you the example after we do the feedback session which is often a very powerful event I think it's almost some people would say transformative we do the development planning and we asked executive what do they want to do to change what what sort of aspects of their leadership do they want to leverage and we asked them to be very specific and use smart goals and I have a sample development plant for you here we asked the executive to write a vision statement of the leader that they want to become and here's one hmm can i zoom out on this okay can you read that she want me to read it to you this is the executive that I gave you some data about his strengths before submission he wrote I want to be regarded as a skilled passionate and committed leader with high standards and a high drive to win others will say that I balanced successful business results with an empathic appreciation for people and process including always treating others with respect I want to be known as someone who can juggle multiple and complex work initiatives in a focused and organized way I would like to convey that I'm clear about my priorities and then I delegate responsibilities well to my capable and trusted staff people will want to work for me because I select my staff carefully give them significant responsibility and provide the guidance and coaching they need to develop and grow in their roles so this was particularly from an executive who was dinged for not developing his people and for not managing his priorities well so after reading the feedback data he became focused on what he what the upside potential and what his aspiration was and this is what the development plan looked like so there were three or four goals in this particular development plan that the first was to prioritize my responsibilities and focus my time and energy exclusively on those priorities so manage my time in a respectful manner so you can see how very detailed then we have six months of coaching usually is sold intense coaching and then we measure progress with the spot-check which means that we go back to the the same interview pool and we ask them how the executive is changed and we start out by saying have you seen any changes in the last six months and then we go over each development goal and asked specifically about change on a negative three zero positive three rating of course the critical period here is what happens right here after the development plan and as you begin the coaching and that's where real coaching talent skill persistence comes in and that's where the coaching relationship comes into play so aspects of that relationship are unconditional positive regard for the true self containment a holding environment abiding over time big picture perspective contractual safety and a developmental medium and that is no matter what the medium that the clients talking to me and I both empathically reflect that but also anticipate the next level so if you think about trying to help an executive develop we have these four stages of development that are all both cognate that are all cognitive emotional and behavioral so your first stage is unconscious competence that's what when the executive reads the 360 feedback he or she notices that they have a competence that they're not even aware of and so it becomes conscious oh I didn't know that people that I was not showing respect for it by juggling my priorities and then it becomes a conscious incompetence and then with coaching it then becomes consciously competent because you're trying really hard taking good notice of what you're doing and then eventually it it leads to an unconscious competence okay I want to ask you in terms of authority there was one last question I had that I wanted to ask you and that was do you do you know this actors workshop show that's on TV where people interview actors and ask them questions and you familiar with that I'm not a TV watcher but my friends told me about this which is prelude to the next question evidently one of the favorite questions on there was if there is a god if you get to if there is a heaven and you get there what do you want God to say we heard this question take a minute and just on that corner of one of your notes write down your first reaction to this question if there is a heaven and you get there what do you want God to say does anybody want to brave enough to share your answer come on in welcome that's a good one what about some others what wait a minute you're the man you're the man okay yep you're the man so welcome come on in you're the man any others that's right what are you doing here you don't belong here any others well done good job well done any anybody else have anything different we're sort of covering the territory now I need any others thank god you're here I'm glad sort of it so if you think about this what we're talking about is our inner authority what authority we carry within ourselves so these are the authorities that you're attempting to please as you go about your life the best answer I've heard yet and maybe you'll come up with some better ones if you think about it is tony anthony quinn who evidently said he thought about it for a minute and he said this is what God would say Tony I understand so if you think about this projected authority figure are they asking what kind of job you doing are they looking for companionship are they offering understanding these are the important aspects of that you yourself carry with you as you go to take up the leadership of your own life and the enterprise's that you deem worthy so good luck thank you very much you

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Keywords: 04, February, 13, Leadership, Coaching, I, Guest, lecturer, Dr, Dannielle, Kennedy, Psychology, of, Leadership, Tal, Ben, Shahar, eTati

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Length: 48min 17sec (2897 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 31 2012