Half in the Bag: Cocaine Bear, Knock at the Cabin, and The Whale

half in the bag [Applause] [Music] and we're back from what oh we've just been watching snowfalls over and over because it's the only only thing playing on this ancient television set every channel is snowfalls oh wait that's just television static oh which is what they use for their plug-in snow effect because it was cheaper someone just filmed their Grandpa's TV yeah anyway we're here to today we're gonna talk about two new ish movies newish in the grand scheme of things they're new they're more recent than like Lord of the Rings films and the big movie Studio Universal figured out that if you shoot a movie cheaper you make more money they finally well I know they have like a connection with Blum House they distribute a lot of blumhouse movies and Universal finally figured it out hey maybe there's something to that blumhouse formula let's just eliminate the middleman and make our own Cheapo movies we don't have to sit around getting no sleep sweating in our beds while we worry if Jurassic world Fallen Kingdom part three that we spent 697 million dollars on is going to eke out a profit we could make 10 cocaine bears and just see what happens there you go on this episode of at the movies [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you a knock at the cabin fever in the woods is the newest film from um night shamlam something happened in the cabin in the woods that I can't remember because it's been three months since I watched the movie Jay tell me all about the 20 million dollar low budget I'm night shyamalam film knock at the cabin fever in the woods yeah this is the new I'm not formula make them make them cheap these last few movies I don't know what the budget for old was but it probably wasn't much more than this oh yeah old was the one on the beach yeah I was thinking about the old people movie that's that's a very low budget movie that is four characters in it that's right that was when people were like oh M night's just gonna make schlock and embrace it instead of being pretentious about it I like this change well this one it's not his uh idea as a book it's based on a book and I read a little bit about the book because my issues with the movie I was like I don't like this I don't like that and then all those are things that were changed from the book so I found that interesting well I would be curious to find out what well we can talk about it I like the movie overall though yeah me too I I realized I'm not sure likes likes people watching footage of disasters that are happening somewhere else yeah you do have a montage of the signs when Joaquin Phoenix is watching the TV yeah it's like where the big thing the big raw and Emerick things are happening elsewhere and we're being reported on the news and are kind of disconnected from our characters that I'm not even when his movies are weird and kind of bad they're still sort of clever and then so the story is there's a couple and their daughter a gay couple a gay two men and a daughter and they they go to a cabin in the woods for a vacation who does this anyways maybe people start to do it again during the pandemic I want to get away from my [ __ ] neighbors they keep coughing on me well I don't know why you would go to just a tiny little house in the woods unless there's some activities to do like maybe boating or unless you're unless you hunt maybe if you like to hunt or hike I guess but these characters didn't seem like they wanted to do any of that they just wanted to go in the house I mean they weren't there for very long I'll give them that that's true they got interrupted pretty quickly who knows what amazing family activities they had planned but that maybe they had showed them with the with a kayaking boat on their the car and they brought their life vests and the little girls like I'm gonna go today I brought the map I have all these activities planned and I don't know I just I don't know that all could have happened off camera because the movie just starts which I liked little girls playing out in the woods and Dave Batista just walks up to her and you're like what's up with this guy we cut out all the family all the fat it's cut out we just get right into it uh and then uh we have four random characters from all over the country that all feel compelled by um prophecy or visions to to meet up and uh and spoiler alert the second they're all there I said oh they're The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and I was like oh that's the gimmick got it no you're supposed to realize that as the hubby goes along that's the M Night twist at the end is that there The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse um and the premise is uh in order to stop the apocalypse which I always thought the four horsemen were bringing in the apocalypse but again this is four people in this apocalypse it's good enough uh that's all people remember I don't really care but they say uh in order to stop the apocalypse for some reason one of you must sacrifice another yeah and it's like Old Testament God stuff ah kill your son to prove you love me right they're they're the zealots and they're there to and the the whole thing throughout the movies you're supposed to be questioning oh is this real and that's why it's beneficial that it's a gay couple um because that would be a pretty [ __ ] scary situation and you would of course assume that these weird religious people maybe have ulterior motives yeah um and this is all just a ruse that seems to be the angle yes because like Dave Batista is like oh I did not know that you two were were men and men it to me that doesn't matter we're just you know it's like okay I believe him but then there's the whole storyline with uh which sounds like a Harry Potter character Rupert Grint um the wizard Rupert Grint he's in that show called um I was gonna say he has an M Night connection right yes definitely he's a dead baby the show whatever it's called the rubber baby show it's called um something with an S the servant it's called servant servant or something it sucks it started okay right didn't you say it started it started okay but then they just drilled that's a thin premise and that guy that's like making this movie knock at the cabin and trying to make a whole yes exactly that's what it is this is a perfect little self-contained story yeah it's a it was a good looking show I just stopped watching it after like two seasons because I'm gonna get to the point the river Grinch is awful he's not a good actor he was fine in this I think it was okay in this but he didn't have a whole lot to do so you have the two characters um one of them's more practical one of them's more kind of leans more towards possibly believing them after seeing evidence and so they have a little uh it's a moral dilemma movie you have these characters in a situation yeah do they believe these captors and then they start to turn on each other it's all very like simple kind of classic stuff yeah yeah yeah and it never gets too ridiculous no no they're showing evidence on the TV of like this big like tsunami wave and all these like natural disasters or prophecies that are coming true I will lead to the uh the Armageddon or the end times and which one of those is something that when I was watching the movie I was like this is a little too much when all the planes are crashing yeah if it was like two or three you could be like oh maybe that's a coincidence like maybe that's not a prophecy coming true but and that's apparently what it is in the book it's like three or four planes and that's it that crashes but in the movie it's like hundreds of planes yeah well they question the legitimacy of the footage too yeah they're like is this pre-recorded or is this like computer Graphics is this faked like you know and so things that a logical person would think about because it's an unreal situation I like the idea of it being um like weird but like oh this could be nothing it could be a coincidence it could be a coincidence but yeah hundreds of every plane falls out of the sky at once is like oh there's something really weird that's a little much yeah it does have like as it gets towards the end it starts to feel like there is this real looming threat like it really had a yeah the sky starts to go gray and the Thunder's coming in it's like is this just a thunderstorm or is this actually the apocalypse yeah um but it's one of those movies that puts you in the situation where you're thinking like okay there's only two outcomes here either the crazy people are right or they're not and It's tricky to pull off either one of those and have it be satisfying I don't know if you want to look at it like from just a thematic perspective it's like the characters it's about the two men and their love for each other and the one is willing to sacrifice themselves so that the other two the other man in the child can live and he he it's like taking a leap of faith almost um regardless of the outcome you're doing it to save the person that you love yeah um and I was a selfless act uh selfless act yes um and he was the more um one that was more open to pass the other possibilities the other guy was more of cynic I was I I when he won the spoilers when the sacrifice occurs and it ends I was like oh God is this going to be a missed ending you know what I mean I died for nothing and then it turned out it wasn't and I was like okay it would have undermined the whole movie for me you would have liked the dark ending because not not just because it's dark but just it would have been I think more memorable more memorable yeah they drive away they go to a gas station restaurant or whatever it depends on how you like your movie to end a happy ending or a depressing bad ending yeah to me the ending wasn't as important as the journey to get there I'm sure the rest of the movie is great I like a movie like this where it's in the hands of a good director who knows how to to keep it moving and Tristan turns it's very like almost paralleled with snowfall so you ironically mentioned snowfall oh yeah it's like the polar opposite yeah polar cocaine bear opposite yes well snow falls it's like okay we're in the house uh for so long eventually some point someone's gonna go outside and you know you have to you have to keep people engaged but both in terms of the storytelling and the ratcheting up with attention and with how you film it yes this whole movie takes place in a cabin you never get tired of that location exactly boom and uh and and you need people to attempt Escape you need you know the little girl escapes at one point and the Dave Batista's in the bathroom and there's it's just like it it let's say m night is a more skilled director than the guy who made snowfalls [Music] and that's all I'll say about it did he write the screenplay to this I don't know because it did lack and this is the thing people complain about with those movies the weird dialogue you know hot dogs get a bad rap kind of cool shape thing got protein you like hot dogs right the unnatural dialogue that I've grown to like like I like a lot of that stuff in olds it's just so weird I didn't notice any unnatural dialogue no there wasn't in this that's why I was wondering if he wrote it because it was lacking that I wanted to mention this uh we're done talking about this that's fine it's an okay movie it's a good movie it's a pretty good movie yeah uh watch it for the performances and the ratcheting of tension not so much for the ending or the overall premise but I wanted to mention the Oscars real quick so when you talked about adapted oh I wanted to like scream because sequels are now considered adapted screen on the knives out sequel was like based on characters created by Ryan Johnson in the first knives what the [ __ ] and Top Gun was in that too which is a sequel and you know it was not the whale the whale was a a stage play and it was adapted into a script by the playwright who wrote the stage play granted he didn't make many changes apparently because it felt like a stage play but what's with that I don't know I noticed that and the rise of Skywalker based on Star Wars characters created by George Lucas I can't believe rise of Skywalker was what are the rules for adapted screenplay I'd never noticed that before maybe it's happened in the past and I just missed it but this was the first time it was two sequels yeah knife sound Sequel and Top Gun traditionally adaptation means adapted from another source yeah so they might have expanded those rules and another source usually is novel or play classically speaking I guess you can now you could say like Doctor Strange is adapted from the comic book yeah which is which technically would apply but apply more than just a sequel to a movie a sequel is that was ridiculous it was weird I'd never never seen that before I know I just wanted to bring that up because I know we're not going to talk about the Oscars other than I cried when hugged uh Harrison Ford it's very sweet there's some dumbass on Twitter that was like oh yeah he's grateful now why didn't Harrison Ford help kihi Kwan throughout the last couple decades when he was struggling to get roles [ __ ] is Harrison Ford supposed to do help out every actor he's ever worked with at a movie do you exist in the real world idiot people are Twitter is the best place to go to see people say the dumbest things possible it's true should have donated All the Little Star Wars toys to a children's hospital it was dirty dirty sticky old child saliva covered dirty Star Wars figures to a child Children's Hospital that you owned and have the right to do whatever you wanted with but you should have done this yes yes uh good good for uh kihi Quan and for Brandon Brandon Brendan Fraser yeah Israel or whale review real quick throw them away oh my God we're gonna do a mini review of the whale which I did not like at all squeeze it in there I thought it was pretty good it was very stagey but it does go along with we were talking about what was the movie you were talking about I think it was the best of the worst oh Mega lightning we don't talk about too much as blocking and business yeah these are two B words that involve movie making blocking his camera angles and locations businesses well she's gonna do this now it's it's a way to make like like like like boring dialogue scenes or expository dialogue work this director says girl comes in come a half sits on the the armchair of of couch dances in the chair Two Shots that's your block back and forth back and forth they never move and the whale is like polar opposite of that or it's like everybody has business I thought you were saying the blocking was like that no no it's the opposite of that yeah it's an example of hey you got the whole movie in this tiny room have your characters move around so what you're saying is Darren Aronofsky is a better director than a mega lightning person the mega lightning that's what I'm I'm making the that's a hot take joke the Bold statement it's a bold okay canceled on Twitter for my controversial statement it's a bad tape I I I can see how he got a standing ovation at cotton because the end of that movie is like drama overload over the top Darren aaronovsky [ __ ] yeah and I I like this the story with him trying to you know reconcile his life and what its value was and trying to pass on something because he basically wasted his life as he says himself um but it I I applaud the the Bold bold decision risky decision to make a movie that takes place Jesus entirely in an apartment yeah on the front porch yeah and the front porch with a guy in a fat suit who looks like fat bastard I was gonna say that was my the girl that I couldn't get over with the movie is I never saw anything but Brendan Fraser in a comedy fat suit towards the end it started to fade away for me it's a good performance his performance is very his performance won it over to where I was like oh yeah I forgot that was Brendan Frazier yeah early on though when his daughter who's like a complete [ __ ] through the whole movie which I appreciate when she's like come walk over to me and he's like struggling to get off I was like I can't take this seriously I just can't do it well there were two moments where I laughed and where I laughed so much I couldn't breathe when I laughed at the elderly it was that kind of laughter right okay it was when he got the drama by the way this is okay yeah this is drunk but when he got up in the table crash and when he starts choking on the meatball sandwich and his friend comes over who she hasn't got I think she maybe was nominated for best support he enjoys she was the best thing in the movie she was so good yeah she was the assistant in uh the menu Ray finds assistant lady yes I didn't realize that until after uh yeah she was good and uh but okay so there were two two moments that made me laugh and it wasn't because I was I was like haha funny fat guy falls down it was the the the sound design more specifically the part when he's choking on a meatball sandwich because she comes up to him and she's like hitting him on the back to try to get I don't I don't think she had the ability to um when someone's behind like him but she was like yeah hitting him on the back and it was like the the like the lucasfilm like Indiana Jones part you know what I needed when he fell over on the table collabs you need that Pottery break yeah but the table claps too was a was like like it was way too much so when you hit you hit someone on the back it's more of a dull thud Hollow sound less than a like a movie punch that's Darren Aronofsky this is what he does everything's gonna be big yeah but that would have made it more like um you ever see a scene in a movie I think I think it's in glory um the Civil War movie is one of my favorite movies and I think it's when um is it is it uh Denzel gets whipped and it's not a Hollywood whip sound [Music] and it's like oh I was really expecting a H like dramatic Hollywood whips on and it's so dull and realistic and he's just making this this face of like hatred towards Matthew Broderick and misery you know pain because he's getting whipped and it's it's it really takes you out of it and you're like wow okay that's real that's the sound we needed when he gets hit in the back is and not Hollywood Sound because I was meant you were meant to not laugh yeah and same with the table breaker and so that really those are really my only criticisms other than I think the adaptation of from the play should have used um more cinematic language in telling the story yeah it's hard to do because the whole like he can't go out of the apartment he physically can that's why you adapt it and you have some other story like really it could have used a lot of um flashback of maybe when Brendan Fraser is is gaining the weight thing we can utilize him out of the suit too yeah you could you have in between periods when he's like making bad decisions and doing stupid things and even you know it doesn't have to like alter the storyline too much just just um get us out of the apartment for a little bit Yeah I was fine with the whole thing being in the apartment it was for me it was just the uh the emotional beats everything is so heightened so over the top the part when he decides to kill himself with food and he's got like the fridge door open and he's like shoving Pizza on top of sandwiches or whatever the [ __ ] and he's just like can't take this seriously Darren Aronofsky cool your jets he made one movie that was not over the top he did the the wrestler which is one of my favorite movies and I would love to see him get back to something that kind of simple and stripped down and that's what this could have been but he just can't help himself and the score is so over the top yeah he likes drama it's a shame I think it's a waste of a very good Brendan Fraser performance I'm happy for him good for him he went you know went through some [ __ ] yeah had some bad experiences in Hollywood and now he's kind of getting his comeback good for him I just wish it was for a better movie uh he's he's very good on Doom Patrol oh yeah now they could say Academy Award winner Brendan Fraser but Doom Patrol's done I think isn't it no oh it's coming back I assume that got canceled in the great the Great Purge uh no I believe it's coming back in the fall I'm surprised it is but okay I mean I love it but I can't imagine it's a ratings Behemoth like that Willow show watch the programs on your TV watch programs watch the movies that we talked about I guess or don't what's the programs programs content content content it's not movies anymore it's content watch those contents not TV shows it's content Willow didn't make enough money with its content so they canceled it move on to next content Mandalorian season three it's not doing as well as Mandalorian season two bring back Rogue bring more content give me content more Stormtrooper more Darth Vader more Luke Skywalker more things you know less grugu now more gurugu less another Google baby baby Yoda yeah they got to bring in a baby here Yoda smaller baby Yoda baby Yoda lace an egg and it's like a nesting doll yeah it's a little baby has a smaller grogo in him oh he's pregnant so baby baby you hold on he's got bigger eyes for maximum cuteness anyway thank you for watching Captain the bag so we talked about a a modestly budgeted Universal movie and now we're gonna move I have to go to the bathroom to another modestly budgeted Universal movie cocaine bear where did Mike Go millions of dollars worth of cocaine fell from the sky this morning in Knoxville Tennessee there's more this out there they dumped it somewhere the jokes on you idiots cocaine bear is the greatest scam in all of movie history a film created with the sole purpose of viral marketing casting friends and overpaid roles and making a quick [ __ ] movie where all the funny parts are in the trailer but wait you say isn't that every movie yes now I didn't watch the trailer for cocaine bear it had jokes in the trailer are you kidding I'm serious I didn't watch the trailer oh it yeah because I was curious about it uh going into the movie I didn't watch the trailer because it's like well I'm gonna see a movie called cocaine bear I want to go into it not knowing what tone they're going for so I didn't see the trailer so I'm assuming the trailer plays it as comedic well before I saw the trailer I heard cocaine bear was coming out and I thought it was a biopic about John Belushi but then I watched the trailer and I realized that it's a film about technical yeah what is cocaine bear well it's it's based on a true story with a hundred thousand quotes yes I watched a trailer and then I looked up the based on the true story thing and the Bear Just snorted the Coke and [ __ ] died immediately now you just I think it ate it well it's gonna snorted you know whatever cocaine and then just died yeah the it's true that if plane flew over Tennessee Georgia Tennessee and near the border I guess I don't know the guy threw all the cocaine out of the plane I don't know why and then they they're looking around the woods and they found the berry some of the cocaine and died and then they never found the rest of the cocaine and that was the end of the story but I think it's sort of it was sort of like a legend urban legend sort of local Legend thing about the cocaine bear itself it was like then stuffed and it was like on display somewhere and then Waylon Jennings owned the cocaine bear oh stop you know it was like I think a thing like from the south where it's like it's like an urban legend that's the cocaine bear and if you're gonna make a movie about the cocaine bear you want to tell the the urban legend version of the story as opposed to the real version because the movie would be five minutes long yeah so and that's fine I don't care that it's not true to real events I I want to get the government involved in this whole based on a true story thing where we have like you know the MPAA uh has rating systems someone based on a true story levels one one through ten where it's like base this is like a bit a one with a little one you know a little cradle logo for it but you put after the statement based on your story it's a it's a one one is the lowest like the most unrealistic yes and 10 would be the most realistic okay so and you can go by Point scales too like 9.6 or 8.2 if it varying degrees I think that's that's probably too much of a scale that would get very confusing okay we'll just go one through ten this is a one or even zero now a zero would be like Fargo because they say they begin to Fargo based on real events nothing is like it takes place on planet Earth that's the only connection to reality sure that's like this movie there was a bear that ate cocaine that rating system would put the conjuring movies out of business you know what I mean is uh Elizabeth Banks like a southern gal or something is she what's her connection to this well I'm a I'm a side chick as the eagle says I went to school in Philly and my husband is a Philly fan oh yes I don't know a lot about Elizabeth Banks outside of she's directed a few things she directed that Charlie's Angels reboot with Kristen Stewart that vanished before it even came out like nobody remembers that Barrymore no no there was one after that with Kristen Stewart it came out like three years ago there was there was Advantage from existence because these are people that remember Charlie's Angels are in their 70s now there's there's probably Nostalgia from Young younger people for those early 2000s ones yeah they think it's a remake of that yeah I don't even know there's a TV show from the 70s yeah but she directed that she directed at least one of those Pitch Perfect movies okay I know where more as a comedic actress and that's when this movie started because she's in what had American Summer and the wet Hot American Summer Netflix shows it's just barbecue sauce come on I want to make out and the in the first 10 seconds of this movie they're playing that same Jefferson Starship song that's at the opening of what American Summer so it's like oh maybe this is going to be like absurdists maybe that's a little wink to wet out American Summer because they're gonna go that route [Music] there's only two ways to do this story you go that route like really absurdist just comedy and the whole cocaine bear thing is just a flimsy excuse to hang abstract jokes on or you play it completely seriously and the joke is that it's a cocaine bear movie but it's played completely straight and then this movie goes the most wishy-washy sitcomy tone imaginable park rangers are Pace officers which means we can shoot people you're safe Bears can't climb trees of course they can then why are you up here why do I skip school with you your boss here then the teachers mind looking after Rosette to go to Georgia for the Thornton case and you said you were good at dogs I said I had a dog it's like I got a comedy tone with no jokes in it bad I was shocked at how amateurs it felt for a movie made by a bunch of professionals it felt like a best of the worst movie where everyone's just walking around the woods yeah that's the thing is we opened this particular episode of half in the bag with a mention of big Studio low budget yeah and that's kind of what this felt like because my favorite sequence was the ambulance part that was the one part that was kind of fun yeah um and then they're like they climbed the tree the tree climbing Gators can't climb trees as they can and then the them attacking the the people the Nordic couple in the beginning the uh yeah all the all the the juicy bits are all in the trailer and um you know and really it seems like it has such a blunt obviously catchy title cocaine Bear yeah and so that's the viral marketing part I saw some people comparing it to Snakes on a Plane exactly I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday play yeah where it's like oh that's what's gonna hook people in Sharknado a ridiculous premise yeah the movie itself is almost like an afterthought yes exactly um and that's it's unfortunate um but I don't know it what I I was like okay what what yeah it finds that middle middle ground that it shouldn't have found of am I laughing is this supposed to be funny and then everything felt like filler I was thinking of Tremors a lot while watching it where it's like you have a simple kind of man versus natural monster small group of characters but in that movie like Kevin Bacon Fred Ward they're not like deep characters but they're fun to watch and they have good chemistry together and then he introduced you know Michael Gross and his wife for their gun nuts yeah they have all your locals that have their like distinct personalities that are fun to watch and this movie Marvel Martindale is the only one that stands out is like she looks like she's kind of having fun but like Carrie Russell she's mom she's Mom that's her role in the movie she plays mom who are you I'm a mom there's like nothing to her all of the Ice Cube's son and young Han Solo like they're just wandering around the woods a little young Han Solo his wife died that's the thing yeah his wife died and his father israeliota a drug dealer and there's some kind of they tried it at the end I couldn't believe they tried to have like actual emotion at the end they tried to have some sort of sappy thing about like parenting yeah yeah I was like what are you doing in cocaine Bear yeah the tone was just all over the place you can't have a serious dramatic moment here it's so thin that idea that this is about like parenting yeah oh yeah what because the two baby cub bears show up at the end this is yeah it's stupid the Tremors is a good model to have made a movie like this in where you have a small town and you have you introduce all of your characters and you like them all and you introduced the cocaine bear maybe have the plane fly over in the middle of the movie right and then the cocaine Bear runs amok in the town and it's a survival film like tremorses um but yeah this is like just everyone's all over the place there's no real Rhyme or Reason of where the cocaine bear is or why he does or doesn't attack uh all I know is the cocaine bear itself probably accounted for half the budget that's yeah we looked up the budget it's not got the cabin was 20 million and this was 35 million 36 38 somewhere in there yeah it's like oh that extra little bit went to the bear yeah they shot this in Ireland I don't know what kind of tax breaks they get Ireland but yeah yeah and there's like lots of connections between all the actors and I wrote them down I don't know if this is important or not it was just like a who's who of course no one from what had American Summer showed up yeah I was waiting for somebody to Michael Showalter someone to make a cameo yeah well Elizabeth Banks is the director uh oh Jesse Tyler Ferguson he's on Modern Family oh yeah Elizabeth Banks had a reoccurring character on Modern Family uh Phil uh Lord Miller oh yeah he produced this yes which explains Alden ehrenreich yes young Han Solo connection there Margo Martindale uh is in the Americans a show also with Carrie Russell and she co-stars with the guy who's in the beginning Matthew Rice I don't know clearly like casting people you know in this movie that's what I thought it was let's just make a cheap shitty movie with my friends for fun we won't take it seriously yeah we get a trip to Ireland I mean there this and an interesting part too is I looked at who the screenwriter is and it's some guy who wrote like three other low budget movies one screenwriter it's rare these days so it's like here's a script Elizabeth Banks you want to make cocaine bear sure let me hand it off some David Wade and Michael Showalter and they can do a pass on it sure yes exactly full-blown comedy I'm late the other route and again comparing the state did you ever see Snakes on a Plane I haven't seen it since the theater but I remember being surprised that I actually kind of liked it yeah it was okay because it was there was all the lead up to it ah it's an internet joke and so the studio shot new things to put into the movie to make it more sloppy and that stuff stands out but then the right rest of the movie I was like oh they're playing it mostly straight like it's a ridiculous premise but they're just trying to make a serious movie out of it and it's like they're relying on you to get the joke which is that the movie itself is the joke yeah and that's what you need to do I think to make it work but it's like this movie doesn't trust the audience enough to no to make that little creative leap it delivered to that vast middle section I I talk about the the intelligence curve it's a perfect bell curve of IQs right from low IQ to high IQ and the middle is a giant bell curve and so it's like what people go to watch cocaine bear it's not going to get super serious and it's not going to get super goofy it's going to be just funny enough and show the bear just enough that's why I felt so meddling and and dull to me like I really I think I would have been better with if cocaine bear went to a more serious route and also I feel like like cheated a little because we didn't get that ending where the the there was no plot where it was like everyone watered around in the woods they had to get the drugs back yeah but there was that plot line and then the plot line with the mom and then they converge at the very end I'm a mom and it's about family for some reason Margo Martindale as as the he never has it be the the Wayward uh like like park ranger first of all you don't cast Margot Martin down I love her she's in millions of things she's great as Margo Martindale in a movie but you you cast some schmuck who is the park ranger who wants she remember she made a comment like I I really want to work my way up to Yellowstone and I'm stuck at this shitty Park yeah you have some like overzealous park ranger who wants to move up in the world of Park rangering and this is his big chance sure and um he's got a a tourist car has broken down he's got Spring Breakers over here and and and the power lines fall down the phone lines fall down I have something that cuts the town off and you both the cocaine bears run amok but just over the the valley is the town and cocaine bear in the middle at the the height of the second act cocaine bear has dragged the duffel bag of cocaine to his bear Den where there are nine other grizzly bears oh my God and you up the stakes halfway through and all these cocaine bears are gonna go into the town and and you don't want to get as cliched as it's the big Fourth of July parade but that's the scene I wanted at the end where cocaine bear smashes through walls and this little Main Street and goes through a coffee shop through a dentist's office through a flower shop and is just going through you don't want your boring characters sitting on a dimly lit edge of a cliff arguing about what it means to be a parental figure I want to see the marching band going down Main Street and then all the instruments flying and the marching band members fly up in the air what's that what's causing that it's a cocaine bear did you ever see the piranha remake the 3D Piranha 3D that this is like 10 12 years ago oh yeah I heard about it I did one that's a movie that gives you your money's worth okay that's a whole Beach of Spring Breakers just getting chewed in half and uh climbing over each other to get out of the water one character's hair she has her hair in a ponytail and it gets caught in the back propeller Blades of a boat and rips her face off it's it's endless it's endless Gore and again that's played it's sort of silly but it doesn't have cheap sitcom jokes like this movie does yeah [Music] yeah this movie doesn't have and then that ending I want to talk about this this is a little bit of a side tangent the ending of this movie takes place on a cliff and it's all dimly lit gray and blue yes and I've noticed this trend in like modern cinematography and I don't know if this is related to shooting digital now or like you don't have to use as intensive lights as bright of Lights everything's trying to look so natural now that it doesn't look cinematic and it just looks blah and gray there's no definition there's no key lights no highlights I've noticed a lot more a lot of TV shows like I know the last season of Game of Thrones people were complaining about that it's like they're trying to go for natural lighting they don't want things to look like Saucy or something but it's like you can do that because it's a movie and people understand the language of Cinema especially if it's cocaine and if it's cocaine bear sure it could have a key light on your actors yeah can you compare that to a second of like like the scenes on like the side of a cliff and Lord of the Rings movies like sure in real life it would be pitch dark but we need to see what our characters are doing imagine if they shot the ending of Titanic now yeah yeah everything would just be gray that would be [ __ ] pitch black that you won't give up no matter what happens it's okay to have a natural sources for your lights because it's a movie and people want to see what's happening as long as it doesn't look like just a light blaring on the actor where it's like oh they just have a light right out of frame it shouldn't look like a Don dollar film yes it should uh give it some Dimensions shape to the Shadows I noticed that ugly blueness I hate that and I've noticed it more and more lately because you're a piece of crap person and a bad dad it gives you just enough to leave you satisfied with the concept but it didn't take its time and take itself seriously enough to make like a fun movie it was it feels like a con yeah um and and it feels kind of Asylum like it feels Asylum like yeah that's a good that's a good way to describe it is that it didn't feel like a big Universal Pictures movie you want to have fun with that concept that's why the ambulance scene was the funnest part because it was like a like a a sequence believe the ambulance paramedics show up and they discover the scene the guy goes in the broom closet and sees the cocaine bear boom boom boom they have to get Margo Martindale on the thing and it was sort of weird there was a moment the one paramedic has the stethoscope to Margo Martindale yeah and she's trying to whisper bear then she finally Whispers bear bear but we already know there's a bear if that was like our first time seeing cocaine bear that would have been so much more exciting but we've already seen the Bears you are Alfred Hitchcock I you know something but yeah they so then they try and escape the back doors of the ambulance are open the one paramedic has to jump in while it's moving it's got some momentum um more stuff like that the the what big laugh I got out of the movie was at the end we have Ray Liotta he gets his guts eaten out by the by the tiny bears by the bear cubs and then it ends with in loving memory as this corpse gets knocked he gets pushed off a cliff yep loving memory of Ray Liotta that's the best laugh in the movie and I don't think it was intentional [Music] kind of crazy to think that studios are becoming like the Asylum Universal Pictures Universal Pictures is the new Asylum this Asylum they're doing something right they keep making pictures they've had a business for 30 years I don't know if they not gone out of business yet because they have a a funny title foreign idea and then the movie doesn't matter and the movie doesn't matter and they make it for super cheap oh why haven't we been doing this Peter Jackson You're Fired but then you have an avatar oh yeah that's the polar opposite and uh 175 million ghosts went and saw Avatar I have not heard a single person talk about Avatar 2 but it's the biggest movie ever I don't know how this works can ghosts buy movie tickets this is something Tech Bagans needs to investigate [Music] 500 billion people went to see Avatar too but we couldn't find a single person I actually saw it is this the world's biggest paranormal phenomenon 175 million ghosts bought tickets to Avatar this Usher said he walked into a sold out show and didn't see a single person but he felt a cold wind that's over took out his pke meter and it went off the charts every theater for Avatar 2 has been completely empty and all the tickets Jeeps Cameron buy all the tickets himself are there any like uh night vision cameras but like a camera that can pick up ghostly apparitions of them absolutely we need to have those installed into all of our our movie theaters Across the Nation to to capture these Avatar 2 moviegoers because I want to know where they're at Full Spectrum camera that shoots uh that that records not just in the visual Spectrum but and uh or a heat uh heat camera that can um detect like Blobs of cold mass that's where it really used in ghost hunting too all right we need to get Zach Baggins on the phone we need to start this investigation and figure out who's seen Avatar Two you're right just film the theater just initial all these like blobs this is completely full shut up just shut up [Music]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,152,660

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans

Id: oE0vwnbnlj8

Length: 46min 26sec (2786 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 20 2023