Boomstick -This episode of Death Battle is brought to you by Squarespace. The easiest way to create a beautiful website, blog, or online-store for you and your idea. Squarespace features an elegant interface, beautiful templates, and incredible 24/7 Customer Support. Try Squarespace at squarespace.com/screwattack, and instantly get 10% off. Wiz - For untold decades, scientists have searched for a legitimate method of measuring a person's level of bad-assness. Completely missing the obvious answer. B - Just check out the size of his sword! Like Guts, the brutal black swordsman from Berserk. W - And Nightmare, the demonic scurge from Soulcalibur. B - He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. W - And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle! In the realm of Midland, rumors run rampant of a man wielding a humongous blade, slaying any who get in his way. But before his legend grew, this black swordsman was known simply as 'Guts'. B - Oh man! I'm so excited! Guts is one of the most badass and hardcore characters ever. *Badass and hardcore scream* W - But the story of Guts is not for the faint of heart. B - Yeah. It's... kinda dark. You've been warned. W - After a brutal massacre, Guts was born from the CORPSE of his mother, who'd been hanged from a tree. B - And we're just getting started. Baby Guts was discovered by a travelling band of mercenaries, and was adopted by the camp whore. W - Who... died to plague 3 years later. With no one to turn to, Guts was mentored by the mercanary leader Gambino, who began training him in swordsmanship when he was just 6 years old. Mercanary - "Hey Guts!" "Why don't you use a smaller sword, one right for your size?" Gambino - "We don't carry any baby sized swords for kids here anyway." W - An extremely determined student of war, Guts was soon brought onto the battlefeild and killed his first man at the age of nine. B - Despite his skill, life wasn't all murder, sunshine and rainbows. Young Guts was constantly abused in many ways that... I don't really wanna go into. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) But these awful things he had to endure kick-started the long, excruciating process of grooming Guts into the SCARIEST man in the world. W - after killing his crazed adoptive father in self-defence, Guts became a lone mercenary. And a damn good one. Recognised for his skill, his was recruited by the mercenary crew called the Band of the Hawk. Led by an ambitious man named Griffith. The Hawk's raiders would be Guts's first taste of comradery and friendship. B - Over the next 3 years, they single-handedly ended a 100-year war. Things were looking up for Guts. Andddd then Griffith summoned a hoard of demons, transformed into a bat monster, murdered all of Guts's friends, and claimed ownership of Guts's soul by branding his neck. If that wasn't dramatic enough, Griffith then RAPED Guts's girlfriend in the pool of his friend's blood as he watched, pinned down with his eye gouged out, and forced to cut off his own arm. W - Definitely not his best day. After all that, Guts dedicated his entire life to murdering Griffith as painfully and brutally as possible. While fighting demons on a daily basis as they are drawn to his brand like moths to a flame. B - But to do this, he needs the right tools for the job. He carries a belt of throwing knives and a pouch of mini bombs even demons can't take. W - He also received a new mechanical hand which houses a flame thrower, repeater crossbow, and a hidden single-shot cannon. Perfect for blasting a demon's face off. B - Surprise bitch! W - But none of that compares to Guts's primary tool of destruction, the giant blade known as 'Dragon Slayer'. B - Massive. Thick. Heavy. And far too rough. It's too big to be called a sword. More like a heap of raw iron. And it might just be the most BEAUTIFUL thing I've ever seen. W - Forged by the legendary hermit Godo, Dragon Slayer was made to... well... slay a dragon. Unfortunately, it was laughed off as impossible to use by anyone. B - Except for Guts. W - Sitting 6½ ft. long and weighing over 400 pounds, the Dragon Slayer is ENORMOUS. Though, not infeasible. In real life, the largest sword ever used in battle belonged to a Frisian freedom fighter, and stood 7 feet tall. Though, it wasn't nearly as heavy, only 14 pounds. B - With a single swing of Dragon Slayer, Guts can cleave through a man wearing heavy armor. Along with his weapon, his horse, and any other people, animals or demons who happen to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time. And after killing OVER 1000 demons, no I did not stutter, Dragon Slayer has bathed in SO much demonic blood that it now rests in both the physical and astral planes of existence. Somehow. Meaning, it's capable of harming ANY supernatural being. B - Even GHOOOOOSTS! W - Guts is an absolute MONSTER in combat. He can move faster than the eye can track, killed 100 soldiers ON HIS OWN in a single night. AND once jumped in the mouth of a giant sea god, cut his way through it and killed it from within. Zodd - "You intend to gamble your life on a single strike?" B - Guts will do ANYTHING to defeat his foes. Including jumping into fire, or allowing himself to be impaled just to gain an advantage. And SOMEHOW he always survives. He's fallen hundreds of feet. Gotten stabbed through the face. Taken a thousand supernatural punched AT ONCE! And even been run-over by an elf... fairy... ...Mothra going supersonic speeds. W - But his disregard for his own safety can be costly. Honestly, the only reason he's still alive is pure, dumb luck and unstoppable will power. B - And if Guts wasn't tough enough on his own, he wears the Berserker Armor. The most INSANE battle gear you've ever seen! W - Activating the Berserker Armor seals off the wearer's nervous system, making them immune to pain and it's natural inhibitions. This allows Guts to fight at his fullest potential, boosting his power and speed at the risk of damaging his own body. B - With this armor, Gut's sword swing is more powerful than a cannon ball. Though the force can break his own arm. But don't worry! The cursed Berserker armor will literally rip and pierce his body to pin the bones and muscles back in place. W - Now don't get the wrong idea! The armor does not actually HEAL Guts, it just holds him together. This is dangerous because, well, even though Guts won't feel pain, that doesn't make him invincible. B - Plus the Berserker Armor also kinda forces Guts to give into his inner demons and lose all sense of morality and restraint. Making him the most violent demon killer ever. W - Violent and COMPLETELY uncontrollable. B - Guts is the embodiment of rage and the epitome of bad-assery. BELIEVE ME! The last thing you wanna do is get in this guy's way. *Soldiers gasp* Guts - "My sword has gotten very dull." "However, it's three times as thick." "And does three times the damage of a normal sword." "You'd better pray you die quickly, or this could be painful." W - Long, long ago, transcending history and the world, an enormous sword was forged. Designed to be the deadliest weapon on the battlefield. B - It was called 'Soul Edge', and it was a BEAST! Gigantic. Powerful. Sexy... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) W - At a daunting 6'1" in length, no ordinary soldier could wield it. But those who could proved UNSTOPPABLE. B - It left no survivors in its wake. Just like my ex-wife at an all-you-can-eat buffet. W - However, a great evil dwelt within the sword. After claiming victory upon victory, and being bathed in the blood and hatred of countless foes, a fire was born inside Soul Edge. B - LITERALLY! It's a demon made of freakin' fire! W - The demon Inferno had one purpose: to infect the world with evil and chaos. But in order to accomplish this, he needed a warrior capable of weilding the true power of Soul Edge. He planned to possess this warrior, and transform them into the azure clad knight of darkness: Nightmare. Inferno's first victim came in the late 16th century, when a pirate named Cervantes de Leon raided an English galleon and discovered the intriguing blade of war. Claiming it as his own. B - But as we know, this was no ordinary flesh-covered sword with an eyeball. Inferno seized this opportunity and possessed the pirate. Testing his body by slaughtering the ENTIRE population of a Spanish port town. Talk about a test drive. W - Unfortunately, while powerful, Cervantes was not the ideal vessel Inferno sought. B - So he made him sit in that town until two chicks showed up, killed his ass, and somebody more powerful picked up the sword. W - That someone was a knight named Siegfried. And this was the body Inferno was looking for. Once Seigfried's hand touched Soul Edge, Inferno began eating away at his soul. Torturing him endlessy, and feeding on his fear and anger. Transforming him into Nightmare. Nightmare was powerful enough to threaten all of Europe, conquering whole armies and devouring thousands of innocent souls. B - If you haven't figured it out by now, Soul Edge is kinda like the ring from Lord of the Rings... if it could CUT PEOPLE AND HUNGERED FOR SOULS! W - However, Soul Edge's power was incomplete. At some point, it had been broken. And shards of the demon sword had been scattered across the world. To unlock Soul Edge's true power, Nightmare set off to find the lost pieces of his sword and repair it. As Nightmare discovered each shard, the power of Soul Edge grew. And so did Nightmare's. He can fight with numerous stances, channel fire and lighting through Soul Edge, and devour the souls of hundreds at once with Soul Wave. Nightmare - Watch this! W - Despite Nightmare's ever growing power, Siegfried constantly battled to free himself from Soul Edge's curse. And eventually, he succeeded. The two did battle atop Ostrheinsburg Castle. But Nightmare's power was SO great, the entire structure was OBLITERATED by a single swing of his vile blade. B - Just like a crazy ex-girlfriend, he figured if he couldn't have that body, no one can. Soul Edge cannot be defeated by an ordinary blade. In fact, only one weapon has ever been able to harm it. A supposedly holy blade called 'Soulcalibur'. Unknown to most, Soulcalibur is actually the final shard of Soul Edge. Reforged into a second sword made specifically to combat it's demonic counterpart. B - Poor guy. How would you feel if some asshole decided to make a weapon specifically designed to murder you. And it kept showing up EVERYWHERE! W - Nightmare has come close to conquering the world on numerous occasions. Yet a warrior wielding Soulcalibur always seems to show up and hold him at bay. W - While Soul Edge seems indestructible,
M - Apart from that pesky holy sword, W - Inferno DOES require a mortal body to create Nightmare. Should Nightmare fall, Inferno CAN risk his own life by manifesting himself to protect Soul Edge. As his very existence is tied to the sword. B - But if Nightmare manages to absorb that final shard, Soul Edge and Nightmare will merge into their ultimate form: Night Terror. A larger, deadlier, flyier Nightmare. W - Flyier? B - Yeah, when one gains the power of flyingness? Duh. W - No matter the time, place, or vessel, few can match the vile trio of Soul Edge, Inferno and Nightmare. Nightmare - "Blood! Darkness!" "I shall drown the world in both!" W - Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all! B - It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! GIANT SWORDS YEAH! Nightmare - At last.. At last, the time has come! Guts - You're in my way. Stand aside. Nightmare - Fool! Tremble in my darkness! Nightmare - Pathetic! Nightmare - What's wrong? Fight me! Fear my wrath! Tremble in fea- True terror... Guts - Die! Nightmare - Impressive. Nightmare - Burn! Nightmare - Drown... IN DARKNESS! Guts - I told you to stay out of my way. Inferno - Darkness... will consume... EVERYTHING! Boomstick - Hell yeah! Now THAT'S what I call a sword fight. While Nightmare wields more power than Guts, this is what Guts does EVERY SINGLE DAY! He gets the shit kicked out of him trying to defeat gods and demons leagues above his abilities, and STILL prevails. W - It's true, all his life-
B - [interrupting] I mean, this guy lives in a world where giant monsters are trying to kill you. Eat you. RAPE you. Or all three at the same time! And that's just Monday. W - It's true! All his life, Guts has had the odds stacked against him. And yet he's still kicking while... everything else is dead. B - "Uhhhhh but Wizard I thought only Soulcalibur can destroy Soul Edge hurrrrr" W - That's also true, in the Soulcalibur world. However, Inferno exists on an astral plane. If you recall, Guts's sword Dragon Slayer ALSO exists on such a plane. Leaving no question that it could destroy Soul Edge. Plus, his Berserker Armor bought him plenty of time to land the killing blow. B - Because it will literally let you fight on until ALL of your bones are shattered, and the last drop of your blood is spilled. W - And it's not like Soul Edge would have any luck in tempting Guts into picking it up and turning into another Nightmare. Not only has Guts dealt with enough demonic shit to know that's a bad idea, he REALLY loves that Dragon Slayer. He's not giving that up for anything. B - Guts was just a whole other calibre. W - The winner is Guts! B - Next time on Death Battle! Lex - It's like the old saying. If you want someone killed right, you have to kill 'em yourself. B - Hey everybody! Click that 'like' button if you like huge ass sword battles. And be sure to share and subscribe! W - In the mood for more action? Check out the latest 1 minute melee between Lucario and Renamon. Yes. Pokemon VS Digimon. It's happening. B - And be sure to pick up 'Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures' on WiiU. We have a video game on Nintendo! Yay! W - Thanks for watching! B - If you need a website, then look no further than Squarespace. I'm not kidding. If this wasn't the best way to create your own website, then why would Jeff Bridges - yes, the dude himself - use it. That's right. Jeff Bridges created the site dreamingwithjeff.com where you can listen to his album of unique and relaxing sounds to lull you to sleep. And it's all thanks to Squarespace. No idea is too far out. Go to squarespace.com/screwattack to get 10% off and bring your idea to life. I really wasn't kidding about the whole Jeff Bridges thing. Seriously. Click the dude and watch it now.
