CONCERN FOR SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. >> Laura: WHAT ABOUT ISAAC OMAR? "GUTFELD!." >> AMAZING SEASON, NUMBER ONE RATED OFFENSE IN THE MBA, KYRIE IRVING, HISTORIC SEASON. BUT THE BIGGEST VICTORY FOR THE NETS IS YET TO COME. P3 THE GREAT VICTORY FOR A NEW YORK IS WHEN YOU FINALLY LEAVE. [APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ >> Greg: AND YET ANOTHER SCOOP MISSED BY WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN, CAROL LONEY CLAIMS THAT DONALD TRUMP DIDN'T WANT ANY SECRET SERVICE AGENTS ON ITS DETAIL BUT THAT'S HARD HITTING JOURNALISM. IF THESE ALLEGATIONS PROVE TRUE, NOT ONLY WAS PRESIDENT TRUMP GUILTY OF INSTITUTIONAL FAT SHAMING, HE ALSO SINGLE-HANDEDLY CRUSH THE LIFELONG DREAMS OF A SHY CHUNKY YOUNG LAD BY THE NAME OF BRIAN. THAT WAS A LONG WAY FOR A JOB. NOW THIS IS FROM A BOOK ON THE SECRET SERVICE, BUT THE ONLY BUZZ BEING GENERATED IS ABOUT THE MOST INTERESTING MAN ON THE PLANET, THAT OLD GUY WHO DRINKS GO PSYCHES, TRUMP. ACCORDING TO THE BOOK, TRUMP ONCE SAID "I WANT THESE FAT GUYS OFF MY DETAIL." HE ADDED, HOW ARE THEY GOING TO PROTECT ME AND MY FAMILY IF THEY CAN'T RUN DOWN THE STREETS? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ADD ANYTHING TO THIS. ONCE AGAIN, SOMEONE IS TRYING TO SELL A BOOK BASED ON A CONVERSATION THAT LIKELY CANNOT BE VERIFIED BY SOMEONE ON RECORD. AND WHAT HAPPENS? EVERYBODY IN THE PRESS CALLS FOR THE SAME SOURCE TO VERIFY IT. THAT IS THEIR CONFIRMATION. A MISS INFORMATION LOOP. BUT WE DON'T DO THAT HERE AT "GUTFELD!," MAINLY BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE THE BUDGET FOR A PHONE. AND I'M REALLY LAZY. BUT ALSO THERE IS NO NEED TO BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT QUOTE IS 100% FACTUAL. OF COURSE TRUMP WOULD SAY HE DOESN'T WANT FAT GUYS ON HIS DETAIL, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE ALL SAY IF WE WERE THE PRESIDENT TOO. HE IS US, WE ARE HIM, HE IS RIGHT. ONE OF THE ONLY REASONS TO BE PRESIDENT IS THE PARKS. THIS IS NOT A GREAT JOB, HALF THE COUNTRY HATES YOU AND YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO WEAR A SUIT AND TIE, EVEN TO BED. AND UNLESS YOU ARE A LEFT-WING SHIELD, THE MEDIA DEVISES YOU. YOU CAN EVEN LOOK AT A WOMAN WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED OF SOMETHING AND IF YOU DO GET LUCKY, HOW CAN YOU BE INTIMATE WHEN THERE'S THREE MEN WITH GUNS NEARBY. I MEAN, I CAN'T COME I PRACTICE A LOT IN PRISON. AND GOD FORBID YOU WANT TO HAVE A DRINK, YOU'D HAVE TO PUT THE WHISKEY AND A JUICE BOX WHICH IS SOMETHING I LEARNED FROM THE GALS ON OUTNUMBERED. HAVING SECRET SERVICE IS PRIORITY NUMBER ONE. AS PRESIDENT, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. HEY, LET'S DRIVE BY MY OLD GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S HOUSE. AND IF ANYONE COMES FOR YOU, THE SECRET SERVICE CAN SHOOT THEM IN THE FACE. I THINK THAT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION. I DIDN'T CHECK, BUT I'M ASSUMING. WHEN I BECOME PRESIDENT I DON'T WANT AN AGENT WHO LOOKS LIKE A COKE MACHINE WITH A HEAD. I WANT HIM OR HER TO LOOK LIKE DOLPH LUNDGREN DURING THE ALLEGED STEROID PHASE ARE CARL WEATHERS AND THE ACTION JACKSON PHASE. WHAT A BODY ON THAT, AND HE NEEDED ONE TO FIGHT CRAIG T NELSON, NOBODY REMEMBERS GREG T NELSON. SEE YOU NEED A SHOW OF FORCE, NOT A SHOW OF FLAB. YOU WANT CLINT EASTWOOD, NOT CLINT HOWARD. AND REMEMBER, THE MOVIE WAS CALLED "IN THE LINE OF FIRE," NOT "IN THE LINE OF DAIRY QUEEN." THIS IS WHY TRUMP WAS SO BELOVED, HE WOULD SAY WHAT YOU WOULD SAY, HE DIDN'T LOWER AT A BAR, HE SPOKE LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE AT A BAR. OF COURSE, TRUMP ALSO DIDN'T WANT SHORT PEOPLE THERE EITHER. SO AS A MEMBER OF THAT COMMUNITY WHOSE HEIGHT HAS BEEN HISTORICALLY UNDERREPRESENTED IN LAW ENFORCEMENT AND ALSO ON DATING SHOWS, SHOULD I THROW A TANTRUM? SHOULD I DRAW MYSELF IN A TEAPOT? OR HANG MYSELF FROM A BOWLING TROPHY? NO, I GOT IT. IF YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE A BULLET FOR THE PRESIDENT, IT'S KIND OF UNFAIR IF THE PRESIDENT IS A TALLER TARGET THAN YOU. IT SEEMS LIKE A SAYING THAT SHOULD BE ON THE CHECKLIST OF HUMAN SHIELDS. IS HE IN REASONABLY GOOD SHAPE? CHECK. AS HE TALLER THAN PETER DRINK LEDGE? CHECK. OF COURSE, THIS SERVICE HAS STANDARDS FOR AGENTS IN THE FIELD. SOME AGENTS -- THEY ALSO HAVE OFFICE JOBS. AND THAT IS WHERE I WOULD WORK. I KNOW MY PLACE, I CAN CATCH A TYPO, BUT NOT A BULLET. I WILL TAKE ONE FROM FOR THE TEAM AS LONG AS IT'S A SPICED LATTE WITH SCAM. PLUS I WOULD HAVE IS REALLY COOL SECRET CODE NAME LIKE "SORRY LADIES, HE'S MARRIED." THIS IS MEANT TO PORTRAY TRUMP AS INTOLERANT CLAIMING HE TRIED TO REMOVE STATS HE DEEMED TO FAT OR TOO SHORT. BOO-HOO, NOBODY MINDED WHEN HE ENFORCE THE SAME STANDARDS FOR THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT. TELLING MEN WHO ARE TOO FAT OR TOO SHORT THAT YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE CUTS, THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. AMONG WOMEN, IT'S KNOWN AS DATING. BACK ME UP. ALL RIGHT, DON'T, FINE. I WONDER WHAT HER ANGRY WHITE MALE THANKS. ♪ ♪ >> ONE OF THE THINGS I LEARNED IN LIFE, NOT EVERYONE CAN DO ANYTHING. WHEN I WAS A KID, WANTED TO BE A BASEBALL PLAYER OR A FIREMEN. I GUESS I'M NOT SUITED TO EITHER ONE OF THOSE. THERE'S A LOT I CAN'T DO. BUT IF YOU WANT A GUY WHO CAN WHITTLE A STICK INTO SOMETHING RECOGNIZABLE, I AM YOUR MAN. WHAT DO YOU THINK? HUMAN HAND. ♪ ♪ >> Greg: INTOLERANT JERK. I WONDER WHAT HER ANGRY BLACK MALE THINKS. ♪ ♪ >> WHAT IT IS? PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID HE DIDN'T WANT A SHORT FAT GUY IS A BODYGUARD? NO [BLEEP]. NEITHER WOULD I. ♪ ♪ SPEWING ONCE AGAIN THE MEDIA EXPERIENCING THEIR TRADEMARK TRUMP WITHDRAWAL. SIX THE NEXT SIX AND ANOTHER DOPEY EXPERT. BUT REMEMBER THIS, TRUMP MAY NOT BE A FAN OF IMPERFECT PHYSIQUES, BUT HE NEVER DENIGRATED THE WORKING GUY AND LAW ENFORCEMENT. YOU WANT A CONTRAST? TRY JOE BIDEN'S RECENT COMMENTS COMMEMORATING NATIONAL POLICE WEEK. AFTER A PERFUNCTORY EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE, HE QUOTED DEEP DISTRESS TOWARDS LAW ENFORCEMENT WHICH IS BEEN EXASPERATED BY THE RECENT DEATHS OF SEVERAL BLACK AND BROWN PEOPLE AT THE HANDS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT. HE'S LIKE A GUY WITH A SORE TOOTH. HE JUST COULDN'T LEAVE IT ALONE. THANKS FOR THAT, JOE. REMIND ME NOT TO HAVE YOU GIVE THE EULOGY AT MY FUNERAL. OF COURSE, THE SLANDERING OF THE PLEA SEEMS WAY WORSE THEN WANTING TO REASONABLY FIT PEOPLE TO PROTECT YOU AND YOUR COUNTRY. AND OF COURSE, IT WAS TRUMP'S INSULT THAT GETS MORE COVERAGE. DO YOU THINK TRUMP CARES WHAT THE POSITIVE BODY IMAGE CROWD THANKS? FAT CHANCE. [APPLAUSE] LET'S WELCOME TONIGHT'S GUEST. WE WERE WORRIED HE WOULDN'T COME BACK. DR. DREW PINSKY! HE'S FROM THE HAWKEYE STATE, FORMER ACTING ATTORNEY GENERAL MATT WHITAKER! SHE LIKES HER PRINCE HARRY. HE'S SO HUGE GETTING ON HIS GOOD SIDE TAKES TWO TRIPS, POST ON FOX NATION, TYRUS! >> Greg: ALL RIGHT, WE ARE GOING TO WEIGH IN ON SOME DANGEROUS TERRITORY. TO SPEAK I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THAT HOMOEROTIC OPENING. I KNOW MY WIFE ENJOYED IT. >> Greg: SOUNDS VERY DISGUSTING. >> I HEAR YOU. >> Greg: OKAY, YOU ARE A DOCTOR, OR SO YOU CLAIM. I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY PROOF. >> HOW DARE YOU. DO WE HAVE TO GO THERE? >> Greg: JUST GIVE ME A PRESCRIPTION PAD AND EVERYTHING WILL BE DONE. ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE OVERWEIGHT ARE PHYSICALLY LESS CAPABLE IN THIS CAPABLE DOWN MY PARTICULAR JOB? >> YES, RIGHT? WHEN PEOPLE BECOME SECRET SERVICE THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH TESTING BEARD BUT APPARENTLY THEY HAVE STANDARDS AND THESE GUYS ALL PASSED IT, BUT IT DOES SOUND LIKE TRUMP. IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE HIM BEING HIM WHERE EVERYBODY GETS FIRED IF THEY ARE NOT UP TO HIS SPECIFIC LITTLE QUALIFICATION. BY THE WAY, YOU MENTION THESE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT, I BELIEVE I'M THE ONLY GUSTY FAD THAT WAS ACTUALLY A JUDGE ON THE MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT. HE SAT BEHIND ME WITH MILANI AND IT WAS AN INTERESTING EXPERIENCE. >> Greg: YOU ARE THE STRANGEST DOCTOR I'VE EVER MET. >> I THANK YOU. >> Greg: I SAVED A PATIENT ON THE PLANE. WELL, I WAS A JUDGE ON THE PAGEANT. YOU MAKE ME SICK, DR. DREW. I KID, I KID. ALL RIGHT. MAPS, WELCOME TO THE SHOW. >> THANK YOU. THIS IS UNLIKE THE OTHER FOX SHOWS. >> NOW, IT IS NOT. YOU WILL SHE WEAR. >> Greg: DO YOU THINK -- I BELIEVE HE SAID THIS, AND YOU WORKED WITH THE PRESIDENT. >> I WAS. WENT FROM MISS UNIVERSE TWO MISS USA OR WHATEVER. OBVIOUSLY HE LIKES FIT LAW ENFORCEMENT. ATTORNEY GENERAL BEING JACKED I MIGHT ADD. BILL BARR IS VERY OBVIOUSLY JACKED. [LAUGHTER] BUT I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT, WHEN I HAD THAT MOMENT WHERE I HAD A SECURITY DETAIL OF FBI AGENTS, THEY WERE ALL VERY FIT AND WILLING TO BREAK A LOT OF NECKS. I THINK IT IS GOOD. AND IN THE PRESIDENT'S DEFENSE, IT IS A VISUAL MEDIUM. AND SO HE WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT HE HAD PEOPLE THAT LOOKED LIKE ME AROUND HIM. >> Greg: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT. ALMOST BECAUSE HE IT IS A PRODUCT OF OUR CULTURE AND A PRODUCT OF TELEVISION, TYRUS, YOU WERE A BODYGUARD. >> YES, I WAS. AND I'M WITH HIM. I DON'T HAVE AN ISSUE WITH HIM NOT WANTING SHORT FAT GUYS OR WHOEVER IS AROUND HIM BECAUSE BEING A BODYGUARD TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF DUDE. ALTHOUGH I DID MY JOB TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, THERE WAS A WAS A LITTLE VOICE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, IF THEY -- [LAUGHTER] I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIS MUSIC THAT MUCH. HERE'S MY RESUME, TWO WEEKS, I'M OUT. >> Greg: SOMEBODY COULD LITERALLY YELL "DONE" EVERY 5 MINUTES IN THE ENTOURAGE YOU WERE TRAVELING WITH. IT'S BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU ALWAYS FIND OUT WHO'S REALLY GOT IT. I DISAGREE WITH THE PRESIDENT A LITTLE BIT, BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS THE OTHER BIG GUYS I WOULD RELY ON. I USUALLY WORKED WITH SOMEONE FROM YOUR SIZE BECAUSE HE COULD SEE THINGS I DIDN'T. >> Greg: YOU MEAN THE GROUND? >> HE SEES BODIES, PEOPLE'S WAISTBANDS. [LAUGHTER] IT'S IMPORTANT, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO'S TOTING AND WHO'S NOT. SPEW AND GOT IT, I CAN SEE THE GUN. >> YOU CAN SEE IT. AND THEN A LITTLE VOICE, IT'S LIKE -- YOU PULL ON, TYRUS, YES GREG? OKAY, THANK YOU GREG. AND THEN WE GO GET HIM. >> Greg: I COULD TRAVEL ON YOUR SHOULDERS LIKE A LITTLE WOODLAND NYMPH. KAT, DO YOU REMEMBER THE BODYGUARDS FOR QADDAFI? DO YOU REMEMBER THE HOT GIRLS? >> YOU TO TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE PART OF THE STORY WHICH IS THAT APPARENTLY THESE BODYGUARDS WERE SO HOT THAT TIFFANY TRUMP BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND STARTED SPENDING A LOT OF ALONE TIME WITH ONE OF THE BODYGUARDS AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT TIFFANY TRUMP ENOUGH BECAUSE I AM MORE AND MORE CONVINCED THAT SHE IS AWESOME. YOU JUST SAID THAT TRUMP IS SO RUTHLESS AND HE IS, BUT I THINK IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO WHOLE RUTHLESS TIFFANY IS. I'M SERIOUS. AND YOU KNOW, JANUARY 19TH RIGHT BEFORE BIDEN'S INAUGURATION, OBVIOUSLY A LOT OF STUFF GOING ON IN HER FAMILY, RIGHT? WHAT IS SHE DO? SHE GOES TO INSTAGRAM AND ANNOUNCES HER ENGAGEMENT TO ANOTHER GUY WHO SHE MET PARTY AND AT LINDSAY LOHAN'S BEACH CLUB IN MYKONOS. LIKE, TRUMP MAY NOT GIVE A
