TREES MUST BE MURDERED, SLOWLY CUT DOWN, DISMEMBERED, AND TURNED INTO PULP BY OIL GUZZLING POWER TOOLS. AT THE TIMES HAS BEEN DOING THAT SINCE 1851. IF TREES COULD TALK, THEY WOULD CALL THE TIMES HITLER, AND THEY WOULD PROBABLY SOUND LIKE JOHN KERRY. ONCE AGAIN, THE SUPERIOR MINDS OF THE TIMES TELLS US WE ARE LIVING SELFISHLY. DON'T BATHE, THEY SAY AFTER SCREAMING AT US IF WE WEREN'T CONSTANTLY SCRUBBING UP LIKE WERE DOING SURGERY. NOT A SINGLE EDITOR WRITER COMPLIES WITH THEIR OWN PRESCRIPTIONS. WRITING ABOUT IS THEIR SACRIFICE. IT DO AS I WRITE, NOT AS I DO. IT'S NO WONDER THAT WHILE THEIR EDITORS CLAIM NOT TO TAKE ABOUT, THE PEOPLE ACTUALLY IS. IT'S A LEAD IS HIM WITHOUT A WHIFF OF IRONING, AND THAT'S WHY THEIR DIRTY DRAWERS AREN'T THE OTHER ONLY THINGS THAT STINK. WELCOME TO KNIGHT'S GUESTS, HE SO SOUTHERN HER HOROSCOPE SIGN IS BUTTERMILK. DAVID McDOWELL. HE IS THE MAYOR OF HANDS OF THE TOWN, ONE. FOX & FRIENDS WEEKEND COHOST. IF LAUGHTER IS CONTAGIOUS, HE WILL MAKE YOU DOUBLE MASK. COMEDIAN -- , AND SHE IS NO LONGER. NOW THAT SHE'S MARRIED, SHE WILL SOON BE BURIED. FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR -- TIME TO GO TO YOU FIRST, YOU DON'T LIKE TO WASH YOUR HANDS, I'VE SEEN YOU NEAR BACK THERE. >> TODAY YOU SAW ME IN THE BATHROOM. >> Greg: YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE YOU KNOW IN THE BATHROOM. YOU DO HAVE CONVERSATION? BECAUSE OF MY REPUTATION, I FELT THE NEED TO CLEARLY OPENLY WASH MY HANDS IN FRONT OF YOU. >> Greg: IF THERE'S ANOTHER WEIRD SIDE TO YOU, YOU HAVE THE STENCH HE CANDLES IN YOUR OFFICE TO COVER UP YOUR OWN STENCH. >> MAYBE HAD BEEN SHOWERING A LITTLE BIT LESS THAN MOST PEOPLE ON A REGULAR BASIS. IT'S THE ONE YOU AGREE WITH THIS ARTICLE? >> IT'S WEIRD. YOUR COMMENTARY ABOUT JOHN KERRY, THAT PICTURE, HE LOOKS LIKE THE TREES FROM THE "LORD OF THE RINGS." IF YOU LOOK CLOSE ENOUGH. YOU AND YOU KNOW HOW YOU FIGURE OUT HOW OLD HE IS? YEAH, ANYWAY. >> I DOMINIC ARE YOU IN SYNC, BIRTHRATES WOULD BE UP AND SHOWERS WOULD REMAIN WHERE THEY ARE. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THE BIRTH RATE IS DOWN IS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SHOWERING LAST. HOW APPEALING IS YOUR NONSHOWERING HUSBAND OR WIFE WHO'S LIKE, I'M JUST PHONING IN COVID. >> Greg: HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE? SPEAK WELL TELL YOU THIS, AND THEY STINK. ONE DAY OF THE KID NOT SHOWERING, TWO, THEN THEY TAKE THEIR SHOES OFF AND THEIR SOCKS OFF -- DISGUSTING. >> Greg: BOYS TENNIS SHOES, IT'S LIKE A LANDFILL FILLED WITH USED DIAPERS. I'VE THROWN THEM ALL IN ONE SHOWER. IT'S DISGUSTING. THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE KIDS. I CAN'T STAND SMELLY OFFSPRING. IF IT WERE MY OWN KIDS, I WOULD HATE THEM EVEN MORE FOR THEIR SMELL. BECAUSE THEY LET ME DOWN. >> YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS THE LIBERAL THING. I THINK THIS IS A LIBERAL THING. CONSERVATIVES TAKE SHOWERS. MAYBE, FINALLY, THESE LIBERALS CAN START TO SMELL THEIR OWN. LISTEN, THIS IS AN EXCUSE FOR THEM TO NOT TAKE A SHOWER. THEY WANT TO SAVE THE PLANET, SAVE THE WATER, AND NOW THEY DON'T HAVE TO USE SOAP. WE DON'T HAVE TO USE ANIMAL PRODUCTS ANYMORE. THEY WANT A FINAL REASON, THESE PEOPLE HAVEN'T TAKEN A SHOWER BEFORE COVID, THIS IS NOTHING NEW AT ALL. >> Greg: ALSO COMMENTS LIKE -- IT'S REALLY GREAT FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY DON'T REALLY SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER PEOPLE. YOU CONFESSED YESTERDAY THAT YOU STOPPED BATHING. >> NOT STOPPED -- I PAID LESS, AND I ACTUALLY ON THE WEEKENDS, IF I'M NOT SEEING ANYBODY, I WILL NOT BRUSH MY TEETH. THE MASK COVERS UP HALITOSIS. NOBODY KNOWS. I MEAN, I'M ALONE. >> Greg: YOU WEAR A MASK ALONE? BECAUSE THE DOGS DON'T CARE. THEY SMELL LIKE DOG FOOD. I LOVE THE IDEA, I READ THIS ARTICLE IN "THE NEW YORK TIMES," YOU'RE MAKING A FACE. >> Greg: I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU NOT BRUSHING YOUR TEETH. >> I BRUSHED MY TEETH BEFORE THIS SHOW. I LEFT MY HAIRBRUSH, AND I DIDN'T REALIZE IT UNTIL LIKE 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW, I WAS LIKE OH. I USED MY TOOTH BRUSH TO BRUSH MY HAIR. I HAD NO CHOICE. >> I READ THAT ARTICLE IN THE TIMES, AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF A LIBERAL TRYING TO SIGNAL HOW VIRTUOUS THEY ARE WITH EYE WATERING BODY ODOR. LIKE, THE STRONGER THE STENCH, THE MORE PROGRESSIVE YOU ARE. LIKE SO RANK THAT YOU'D LEAVE A VAPOR TRAIL. IT IS >> Greg: YES, YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? YOU ARE THE WHIFF OF WELCOME. THAT IS THE WHIFF OF WOKE. NOBODY REMEMBERS HIM. >> THINK ABOUT LIKE -- A COMBINATION OF SMELLING LIKE FRITOS, WET DOG, AND LIKE STEAMY FEET. WHAT ARE YOU TELLING EVERYONE ELSE, YOU'RE A VEGAN? YOU WORK IN AN ANIMAL SHELTER, AND I RIDE MY BIKE EVERYWHERE? >> Greg: IF YOU HAVE ALL OF THAT ODOR, YOU ARE PROBABLY IN ANTIFA, THE ONLY GROUP THAT WILL ACCEPT SOMEBODY WHO SMELLS THAT BAD. BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED, YOU WERE FILTHY. SHE HAS CLEANED UP A LITTLE BIT. I WOULD WALK TO HER OFFICE TO TALK ABOUT THE LATEST THING SHE SCREWED UP, I WOULD HAVE TO WALK OVER THINGS I COULDN'T RECOGNIZE. >> IT'S STILL LIKE THAT. I PREFER CLUTTER TO. ACTUALLY, IN THE PANDEMIC I WAS -- I HAVE TO ADMIT I WAS NOT WASHING MY HAIR, I WAS SHOWERING BUT NOT WASHING MY HAIR. ONLY WAS I GOING TO BE ON CAMERA WHAT I WASH MY HAIR. ALL OF THE BLOGS ARE LIKE, DON'T WASH HER HAIR EVERY DAY, I WAS LIKE OKAY BLOGS, I BELIEVE YOU. THEN THE SHOW BECAME EVERYDAY, I STARTED HAVING TO WASH MY HAIR. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE AFTER I WENT ONE DAY, I WAS GOING TO COME TO WORK WITHOUT WASHING MY HAIR. I ASKED KAM, CAN I GET AWAY WITH THIS, SOME DRY SHAMPOO? YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH? WHICH MEANS I LOOKS LIKE A DISGUSTING GREASE BALL AND I DID WASH MY HAIR, YOU ARE WELCOME. BECAUSE GOING TO SAY -- NO, -- YOU GUYS LOOK EXACTLY LIKE. IT WAS JUST AN HONEST MISTAKE. >> THE IDEA OF BATHING, IS THAT STILL A THING? THE IDEA OF LAYING IN YOUR OWN SCRUB MIST, DO YOU WASH AND A BATH? I THINK WE'VE ADVANCED FROM BATHING. >> I THINK YOU -- >> YOU LAY IN THE FILTH THAT YOU SOAKED OFF? THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DO THAT ARE COWBOYS AND WESTERNS. TO SMOKING A CIGAR, THEY'VE GOT THEIR FOOT UP, AND THERE'S LIKE HARDWOOD FLOORS. OF >> I DID THAT ON SUNDAY, BUT I HAD MY -- >> Greg: DO YOU HAVE A SPITTOON IN YOUR BATHROOM? >> NO, MAYBE I WILL TAKE THAT UP. >> THERE WAS ANOTHER ARTICLE IN THE TIMES THAT WE DIDN'T GET TO, AN EDITOR, A TIMES EDITOR SUGGESTED MARKING THE END OF A PANDEMIC BY EVERYBODY IN AMERICA GETTING ONE WEEK OFF. IN ORDER FOR HER TO GET THE WEEK OFF AND EVERYBODY AT THE TIMES -- RESTAURANTS WOULD HAVE TO CLOSE, BUS DRIVERS, STORES, BECAUSE NOBODY CAN WORK. I'M THINKING, ONLY A WRITER CAN PRETEND TO GO OFF THE GRID SO PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T WORKED FOR YEAR -- >> I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A HONEYMOON -- YOU CAN ONLY GO CAMPING. I'D BE DOWN FOR CAMPING. YOU KNOW, AND DENVER REALIZED GROWING UP, CHEAP VACATION. WHENEVER I BRING IT UP TO KIM, HE'S LIKE, WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I GOT PAID TO GO CAMPING. I HAD TO THANK HIM FOR HIS
