'Gutfeld!': Biden says his uncle was eaten by cannibals

>> BIDENS LIES INCLUDE WHAT HIS UNCLE WAS FOOD TODAY'S VIDEO OF THE DAY COMES TO US FROM THE BIG GUY HIMSELF JOE EMPLOYED HIS UNCLE A WORLD WAR II PILOT WAS EATEN BY CANNIBALS AFTER HIS PLANE CRASHED IN 1944 WATCH. >> SHOT DOWN IN AN AREA WHERE THERE WERE CANNIBALS THEY NEVER RECOVERED HIS BODY. >> HE GOT SHOT DOWN IN NEW GUINEA AND THEY NEVER FOUND THE BODY BECAUSE THERE USED TO BE A LOT OF CANNIBALS ARE REAL AND THAT PART OF NEW GUINEA. >> THE MILITARY SAYS HIS UNCLE DIED AFTER CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN SO ANOTHER FAIRYTALE FROM JOE WANTED TO KEEP MAKING UP THIS WEIRD STUFF? SINCE HE GREW UP IN BLACK CHURCHES IN JEWISH TEMPLES IN A PUERTO RICAN NEIGHBOURHOOD I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BLAME BUT WHAT IS LOST IN THIS IS THAT HIS UNCLE IS A HERO WHO DIED FOR OUR COUNTRY CAT WE KNOW AS A CHILD YOU DREAMED OF WRITING NOVELS ABOUT SHIPWRECKS ARE YOU WILLING TO TELL TALL TALE TO GET THAT DEAL DONE? WHAT'S THE WILDEST STRETCH DOOR YOU'VE EVER TOLD? >> WHEN I WAS A KID WOULD PRETEND TO BE A DOG A LOT I WANTED TO BE A DOG AND MAKE MY DAD DO PIGTAILS TO BE MY DOG YEARS I WAS A LOSER. >> YOU WERE A CHILD WITH IMAGINATION I DID IT. >> AND WEIRD BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW CANNIBALISM WORKS THEY COULDN'T FIND THE BODY LIKE THE EIGHT THE BONES ALSO? THAT'S LIKE A GHOST STORY FROM THE SANDLOT RIGHT? THE BONES EIGHT -- HE ATE THEM BONES AND ALL, NOT ONLY IS IT A LIE IT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD ONE. >> HOW DID HE KNOW? DID THEY MAIL THEM IN AN ENVELOPE AND SAY SEND MORE THE BIDENS A DELICIOUS? >> THIS AND THE OIL CANCER. >> HE'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT. >> HE SAID OIL CANCER TO. >> SPEAKING OF EMBELLISHING STORIES AND MAKING [ Bleep ] UP WHICH IF YOU WORK FROM A COLLEGE CLASS YOU HAVE A MASTERS IN IT. >> THAT'S WHAT I LIED ON MY RESUME TO GET HERE. >> THE WILDEST LIGHTING VIRTUAL VIRTUAL TO GET OUT OF DOING SOMETHING? >> I'LL PULL THE SICK THING MAY BE I WAS A LITTLE SICK MAYBE THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO WHERE I WAS GOING MADE ME SICK SO THERE IS A SHRED OF TRUTH THERE BUT WITH THIS MY FIRST RED THE STORY I WENT OKAY THERE'S MERMAID CANNIBALS BECAUSE THE UPPER TORSO THE DIGESTIVE TRACK OF THE MERMAID THAT CONSTITUTES CANNIBALISM BUT NOW THAT THE WHITE HOUSE IS JUST SAID NO THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN THEY ANNOUNCED AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT I THINK REALLY THE MOST DISTURBING THING IS THAT HE SAID IT TWICE IF YOU'RE IN A CONVERSATION ONCE AND THEY SAID MY UNCLE WAS EATEN BY CANNIBALS BUT NO, HE SAID IT TWICE HE STUCK WITH IT THAT'S WHAT REALLY BOTHERS ME. >> TO BE FAIR LIKE ANY GOOD LIAR HE BUILDS ON IT GOES THE FIRST DOOR HE DIDN'T GET EATEN THERE WERE JUST CANNIBALS AROUND SOME SHIFTY CANNIBALS JUST HANGING AROUND NOTHING WORSE WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE A MEAL OF FOOD AND THIS CANNIBALS IN THE WINDOW >> PLUS THE MERMAID CANNIBALS. >> YES IN THE BOAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF MERMAIDS WERE MADE THAT BE THE OPPOSITE WAY ALL RIGHT REAGAN IN COURT IF YOU HEAR SOMEONE HOW DO YOU GET TO SAY OBJECTION I WILL POINT IN THE PRESENT STORY WOULD YOU HAVE YELLED OBJECTION. >> IF I WAS HIS ATTORNEY I WOULD HAVE DIED LET ME PUT IT THAT WAY CAN'T IMAGINE WAS LIKE TO BE HIS STAFF ON A DAILY BASIS JUST WHITE MECKLING THROUGH THE DAY AND NEVER KNOWING WHAT'S GOING TO COME OUT BUT TO BE FAIR WE CAN'T BE TOO HARD ON HIM BECAUSE EVERYBODY HAS THAT ONE UNCLE OR FAMILY MEMBER THAT EVERYONE SAYS WAS EATEN BY CANNIBALS IN THE WOODS RIGHT? THERE IS A TALL TALE SOMEWHERE AND LIKE YOU SAID MAYBE THERE'S A SHRED OF TRUTH TO IT BUT I CAN'T IMAGINE, IS JUST GIVING BRIAN WILLIAMS AND I'M SO SORRY FOR HIS STAFFERS HAVING TO DO DAMAGE CONTROL THE TIME BUT I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE CLIP OVER AND OVER AGAIN IT SO FUNNY. >> DAMAGE CONTROL IS ONE THING BUT ANIMAL CONTROL IS A WHOLE. >> THAT'S NOT ON THE BINGO CARD, CANNIBALS CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING IN THE BACK IN THE STAFF ARE UNDER LIGHTWEIGHT WHAT CANNIBALS? THAT'S WHAT HE CAME UP WITH TODAY. >> AND THEN YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE CANNIBALS PRONOUNS ARE WHAT'S COMING NEXT. >> DON'T MISS GENDER THE CANNIBALS. >> WHAT'S THE CANNIBAL HERE. >> ACCOUNTABLE ON THE PALE YOUR DIET. >> WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS EAT THE HUMAN. >> BEFORE WE GET TOO FAR AFIELD OR JUST WANT TO CONGRATULATE CATS PARENTS BECAUSE THESE DAYS WHEN YOUNG CHILDREN SAY I'M A DOG PUT MY HAIR IN A PONYTAIL YOU BECOME A FURRY AND THEY GIVE YOU A LITTER BOX ON THE WHOLE 9 YARDS. >> I WAS STILL USING THE TOILET. >> THAT A GIRL AND I STILL AM. >> THAT A GIRL. >> HERE'S THE THING THOUGH IF YOU GO DOWN THE PARADE ROUTE AND YOU LIVE IS A DOG YOU COULD PROBABLY PUT THEM DOWN. >> WHO COULD PUT CAT DOWN? >> NO, SHE KICKED OUT OF IT SHE WAS CLEVER. >> INTERESTING SHE WANT TO BE A DOG AND HER NAME IS KAT BUT ANYWAY. TO GOOD POINT. >> BIDEN HAS YOUR DETAILED EARLIER HE HAS GROWN UP IN EVERY POSSIBLE COMMUNITY THAT THERE IS FROM POLISH TO SCANDINAVIAN TO PUERTO RICAN AND AFRICAN-AMERICAN HE JUST HAS A LITTLE BIT OF, I WANT TO SEE HIS 23 ME PROFILE BUT ONE OF THE THINGS THAT SHOULD BOTHER PEOPLE ABOUT THIS IS THAT IF HE'S SO EASILY LYING AND YOU NOTICED HE ALWAYS SAYS FOR REAL, FOR REAL I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS TRUE, IS ALWAYS UNDERSCORING HIS STORIES WITH THESE EXCLAMATIONS IF HE CAN DO THAT SO EASILY AND HAS BEEN DOING THAT SO EASILY FOR 50 YEARS I THINK WE CAN SAFELY ASSUME THAT HE DOES THAT ON OFFICIAL STUFF TO, AFGHANISTAN WAS GREAT, ECONOMY GREAT, BIDENOMICS WORKS HOW CAN YOU TRUST HIM? >> IN THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO IF YOU GET TOO NOSY YOU GET EATEN BY CANNIBALS BEFORE WE GO GO SEE CAT ON HER BOOK TOUR TICKETS STILL AVAILABL

Channel: Fox News

Views: 334,262

Keywords: fnc, fox news, fox news channel, fox news gutfeld show, fox news media, fox news network, fox news voices, greg gutfeld, greg gutfeld reacts, greg gutfled monologue, gutfeld, gutfeld monologue, gutfeld monologue tonight, gutfeld panel, gutfeld!, gutfeld! tonight, kat timpf, kat timpf gutfeld, tyrus, tyrus gutfeld, tyrus murdoch

Id: 8gBj2E8x2Kk

Length: 7min 51sec (471 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 21 2024