Gut feelings: Truth, or insecurity?

hi everyone Susan winter here thank you so much for joining me in my channel today I'm continuing with your questions and I want to thank all of my subscribers thank you so much this is really impressive and I love the fact that you're following what I'm doing and you're actively commenting and you're supporting my work if you haven't subscribed please do so now I am going to be talking about a question that it's this is a very fine distinction how do we know the difference between our generic insecurities in a relationship and a gut feeling that something's wrong okay I love these questions so it's so granular but you know what they affect us so I'm going to read it is from Alex Alex thanks so much for this so Alex writes how to tell if your gut feeling speaks the truth or its insecurities I've been dating my girlfriend for eight months we love each other and all is great but I feel that something is wrong I don't know why my gut is signaling that she's cheating or if she's just not in it for the long term or if this feeling is insecurity I've been insecure in the past but my gut feeling has also been right in the past okay so here is how I define that distinction is it insecurity or is it a gut feeling that you really have to acknowledge most of our insecurities come from an external situation something happens it's a break in the pattern it's that we notice that our mate was supposed to be home at a certain time that they're not it's that they say there's some place and we discover they weren't it's a glance that happens far too long it's unknowing look that they share with somebody it's taking a phone call in the bathroom or a text message or it's suddenly running out for this or that so there's some external thing that signals a red flag where we now become uncertain of the truth of this person commitment to us okay you can even have general insecurity as a person but you would be fairly calm until you see some kind of physical external evidence right something they said something they didn't say right the gut when the gut is uncomfortable it's more chronic and not associated so much with external evidence you don't have any evidence Alex you're telling me that you know we love each other and all is great but I keep thinking she's cheating now I understand it's wise to question you know like just insecure you know ask yourself I mean did I do I have a fear about I've never got until one year in a relationship without somebody cheating on me and so I'm just scaring myself you know a chronic gut feeling that you can't even place your finger on but you just feel unsteady and uncertain it doesn't come out of nowhere you know we all have moments of insecurity that's every human no matter how confident they want to appear but I think if all is well in your world and you're feeling uncomfortable you've got to acknowledge that that something is occurring that's not showing in evidence and in a case like that perhaps the best thing you can do with your partner is to share this crazy feeling that you have it's bothering me it looks like everything's right in our relationship but I feel like something's wrong I feel like I don't know you're you're not certain or did you got somebody else you've got your eye on and I can't even begin to explain it but do you feel safe enough to tell me the truth see this is another thing we have to establish in a relationship that even if we don't like the information our partner is going to tell us it is so much better to actually speak to us and share what's going on instead of doing it in private and then we discovered that the last year of our relay ship was a lot C we don't want that part of that is that there has to be a comfort in the dialogue I like to set it up in the very beginning with the rules of you know communication or because I don't like a problem later on but if you haven't done that Alex now's the time to share those just say this is a feeling that I have I don't know where I get it from and can you help me with this is there any merit to it you're not bad you're not wrong I just need clarification so it will be very interesting to see what your partner says to you Alex so again the chronic feeling with no evidence that could indeed be that your mind and all your intuition and senses are picking up an irregularity that is indeed occurring okay thank you so much them everyone thank you for your letters I love reading these for you I love the commentary I mean I just I really value all of your input it makes my doing of this and sharing this knowledge so so exciting and rewarding for me so if you'd like to work with me check out my consultation page I can admit it by the hour or by the day if you'd like to see Susan behind the scenes come to Susan e winter on Instagram lots of private time there you'll see if you would like me to come to your city start sharing one severe from because we're kind of going around the world actually to say hi and meet the people that you know I can't go through the camera to meet you though I'd like to thank you everyone and you can also hear this on i art radio on the susan winter show talk to you soon thank you so much

Channel: Susan Winter

Views: 87,962

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Id: ZnEwAM0ZiB8

Length: 6min 5sec (365 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 14 2020