Grandmotherly New Years

Oh Victoria it's New Years they're supposed to be with people you love but nobody loves me do you have people that love you what about that one fellow rodney was his name it's my hamster grandma and even he left me for death no this is my cocoon of love I'm not coming out until I'm a beautiful butterfly we're Jennifer Lawrence I'm not picky what is it about New Year's that makes you so lonely it's the kiss grandma everyone comes together and it kisses at midnight and that's why I'm here with you no one's lonelier than an old person not even me we'll be unified in my misery you know my spleen no no I have a history with doors hey Maggie my dear how are you - what do you say before things get too crazy we start off with the New Year's kiss Oh people don't kiss you don't have enough lip for that to be effective Tenace you big flirt let me end on the best bingo board for Tuesday and I might consider it yeah you got yourself a deal oh right in the diaper oh good did you just make kisses black-market currency right don't give them out my pretzels besides it's better than practicing on trees find a human boy would you trees are better listeners you know every time I answer a door a part of my soul dies and to Margaret the joy I felt receiving your invitation was like Margaret you look quite ravishing this evening I look forward to the stroke of midnight how are you leading on not one but two oddly attractive older gentlemen there's nothing between Eduardo and I except Canasta on Thursday see dates with exotic men at places I can only assume we're exotic when they're called Canasta how are you doing this hmm one thing I don't stand on the street corner begging for affection Valentine's Oh 9 there were desperate times grab up please kidneys your entire body is made of old people we're supposed to be enjoying an evening of being blissfully happy at someone else's misery and here you are stringing along the entire Jerry a tree of the neighborhood how grandma Victoria I'm 90 years old you might want to start taking notes still fresh as a spring roll I'm never eating Chinese again the sex appeal that has blessed me in my advanced age will come to you eventually probably hopefully you know that that's fine grandma you go ahead you flirt with your old man you woo them with your charms explode their pacemakers I don't mind I am young I am vibrant I am losing circulation in my leg oh grandma I'm actively dying you I can't did you not notice that I told you I died every time a door came and now it's gonna be one of your nasty smelly old can he hey Tori how's it going yeah I'm here to get ya here just give your grandma her medicine so my grandma meds Yeah right I do yes usually with pills I could just almost midnight right sorry I'm late I'm usually earlier but Oh New Year's Oh mags doesn't kill you

Channel: Divine Comedy

Views: 19,969

Rating: 4.9114389 out of 5

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Id: FDTBRzGhRCI

Length: 5min 26sec (326 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 31 2014