glee out of context

well I hope you're ready for some form-fitting polyester gay Clark Kent from season 1 of Smallville because it looks like you're going to be the bottom of my Cheerios pyramid after all I've got a gay go-go I've gotta go I don't like you fun I don't like you either I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend I don't like your smirky little meerkat face I don't like your don't just CW air I'm on deep you smell like Craigslist this isn't just about me this is about the team you are such a hypocrite like you even know what that means it means that your boyfriend is full of crap Hobbit normally you dress like the fantasy of a perverted Japanese businessman with a very dark specific fetish but I actually dig this look thank you really really nice people but I think no yeah I mean just because I hate everybody doesn't mean they have to hate me too you know I blame Sam for all of this Rachel do I blame her what did I do I'm sure you did something that was incredibly rude since they're being nice it would be rude if I followed you around and every time you took a step I played a note on a tuba oh yeah go get some moist towels we have to keep Finn wet before we can roll him back in the seat do you ever get tired of tearing other people down no not really cuz you always just seem to be meddling in everybody else's business oh please you guys love me I keep it real and I'm hilarious holy crap I'm a closeted lesbian Ana judgmental [ __ ] which means one thing I have awesome gaydar only straight I am a straight-up [ __ ] right double-stuffed fatty gassy my gravy pants we are just one big happy happy family Santana stay out you're such a bacon-wrapped bug-eyed hypocrite it's freakin hilarious how jealous of Blaine you are every time he opens his dreamboat acapella mouth you just itching to kick him right in the Warblers oh please stick a sock in it or shape yourself back to Scotland I'm trying to apologize to lumps the clown welcome back Lisa Rena I've missed you so much since your family packed their bags loaded them in your mouth and skipped town can't tell you how many times I've wanted to enjoy it crisps pickle but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar I assume you've been working as a baby polisher we're young mothers placed their infants heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine so glad you're back I haven't seen a smile that big since a claymation Abominable Snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist love Santana what if I just hold her BFF about her bf and his manwhoring ways we got a pact what if I broke that back huh what would you do attack me with your exfoliating loofah your wide-eyed keen painting approach of life makes my teeth hurt and my breasts ache with rage I'm pretty sure should have stole my comforter yeah [ __ ] go with God Satan [Music] ladies and gentlemen telling anyone what they can or cannot put to their hair is disgusting I'm a drug mule in the Lima crack district I was forced to sell my legs to science I'm performing on the bathhouse circuit I'm a finance major at Brandeis no no no I mean he wants to do me but we're just friends you're a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD and Will Schuester is a weepy manchild whose greatest joy in life is singing with children and his best friend unique you need to tone it down with the whole boob fit just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer it does the macaroni really captures him I had my first threesome at seven and once I beat up a police horse you remember Leo right we honor st. Valentine a man publicly beheaded for defying his government by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive no you're doing it wrong Daisy I can't do it William I just can't like Eli Roth decided to make a gay horror movie and this is the scene right before we all lead each other but for the record Blaine has an awesome body and a perky and delicious behind that looks like it got paid to perfection by some sort of master chef thanks Tina sit under Uranus I think you're totally sort of high like if I was like in a bunker with you I would totally hit that what are you here to lecture us about Kurt or horrible taste in clothing my dad has cancer thanks Tina you're a menace to the state of Ohio [Applause] [Music] music whose cell phone is that I'm not going on until this rude person leaves this performance is over until you leave people raped my ex-boyfriend don't walk away from me Tina cohen-chang I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Marley and me I have no idea what you're talking about I had nothing to do with the making of that film I can't be racist William has I am 1/16 Native American I'm sorry are you talking to me right now because I can't tell if you're talking to me if you don't point your finger why would someone assume I'm a friend of Alan just because I'm mannish and highly aggressive and have short hair and I only wear track suits and I coach a girls sport and I'm married myself coach Sylvester I've heard you say on several occasions that you don't believe in homelessness you said you considered homeless people urban campers why he rocks eating the Jew crack Asian horror movie little Oprah Rojo Caliente Caliente no you're scar Brittany Locker door it's the capital of Ohio Brittany oh what do you even know who the president is well I am just like its importance DNA to poop rainbow glitter who told you Kurt no yes not gonna happen dragon lady you're gonna come down with Asian bird flu or whatever Tina blow and Wang just god no [Applause] I spend a large portion of every day vibrating with a palpable sense of wild irrational rage where is a cyclops so trying to stumble this way in we can't come here any other trick or treat bada-bing hey what's a guy gotta do to get a candy situation up in here huh shouldn't we be in some sort of grinding union Frankie it's time to fight fire with the flaming flames of additional flaming gay fire come on all sparks in your face is how you get freckles evenly hi I'm Joe with please big ok summer with all the glee club this you're dying to know mr. Khatami dude why don't you just tell us you wanted to pray in Muslim I suggest selling yourself on Craigslist under the heading of men seeking men with butt chin I'm going to take your house your car your extensive collection of vests I mean seriously you wear more vests than the cast of blossom you know this is toilet brush you nickname is Panda Express not Chinese there's a photo Panda Express sandbags slap yourself with a chicken cutlet now slap Britney hey why are you talking can I say hello I guess I just Santana told me never to speak alone with you because you try to steal all of my gold ok if it isn't Tweedledum and tweedle fake boobs team games you may now proceed to the next checkpoint without fear of violence where are you speaking so loud I'm the law and order prom queen candidate here to protect every student at this school from harassment did she I'm walking away from you now where are you going to show everyone how hot and sexy I am I'm not tossing the baby out with the bathwater here I've totally done that ah has life changed since the birth of your bastard child no what are you gonna be for Halloween this year I'm going as a peanut allergy hair but more similar than anything that's a terrible thing to say I don't mean to be a [ __ ] well yeah actually I do sup my hot little Jewish American princess my nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit and there is simply but one person to blame the alcoholic teen vomit fetishist Will Schuester when someone dies it hurts very astute porcelain that's a little nugget of wisdom I'd really like to jot down [Music] Pavarotti showtunes 25% hip-hop 25% classic rock 100% gay I'm sorry for sending you to that crack house don't brush my teeth I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat I was pretty sure dr. pepper was a dentist I got this [Music] [Applause] your paycheck every penny of it Oh God to lawsuit I'm telling you I wish you could have seen it [Music] sort of like that [Music] [Applause] [Music] you know we first met in the bathroom bonding of our moisturizing ritual wow that sounds really not romantic and also very very gay wait okay hold up no me gusta why is sue on the list I didn't do my god you are not fluttering the chicken in here this is your lucky day sir listen if you want to wait I know who can officiate Oh Bert who's Burt Hummel I don't know who it is it's uh my dad stabbed your yep a lot bitchin pure evil I said so what if he's completely hairless and made out of plastic I'm gonna look past the fact that he probably has a disgusting pornstar landing strip I know you don't wait for your appointment at Supercuts oh okay I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home moves in and goes through all your stuff you're offended give a bad name to the entire gay community and you give the gay community cutting-edge fashion that's usually only seen on Puerto Rican pride floats I'm sorry I didn't hear you I was distracted by your giant [ __ ] Steve your boyfriend's bare ass is on one of my vintage flea market chair no [Music] [Applause] wait quiet take [Music] [Music] Wheelz gay kid come on move it Asian other Asian Aretha shaft I think I should bring a gun no I haven't had a solid meal since 1987 and what if I were to just innocently murder you will I'd still have to go to trial probably get off with justifiable homicide did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks well I made by a small diaper for your chin because it looks like a baby's ass I said about a young man in Chicago in 1871 who thought he'd play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one mrs. O'Leary he's successfully ignited its flatulence in a city burned William that young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States Abraham Lincoln I'm so depressed have worn the same outfit twice this week you can't touch this that was very killer we have got something to the other groups don't what fins dancing right you both have dead spouses maybe you should talk I will go to the animal shelter and get your kitty cat I will let you fall in love with that kid who can and then on some dark cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face [Music] [Music] what is your problem Finn it's just a moist talent I could totally sing the songs with Finn but screw him if he thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part for me I love the days when I don't wear underwear full commando I never noticed how nice Rachel's butt is oh crap I think Quinn knows I'm staring at when they pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist she's my ass josh groban look at me even in the heat of battle I'm so elegant stop emailing me this is a restraining order stop sending me nude photos stop calling me I don't know how you got my number I don't know how you got my number again after I changed it but I don't want any more of your edible gift baskets or locks of your hair and I don't want to read any more of those son as he wrote for me best stuff got crazy do I have to go they'll think I'm hoping or as menacing it's not the babies around well if it isn't my sweet sweet porcelain coach Sylvester what are you doing here yeah I'm just picking up some coffee and I like my enemas piping hot actually get ready black girl from Glee Club whose name I can't remember right now Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants damn I feel like such a bad Jew can't stand the sight of a kid's getting emotional unless it's from physical exhaustion and I suspect that the judges are scoring extra for it this year so porcelain quid pro quo what do you have for me I'm sorry coach but you and I are not in goats don't you nailed that down before I gave you my top secret Intel porcelain you just made a powerful enemy because I didn't vote you need to call me before ever you look like a technical hater you trying to copy me it looks like I planned you know what if your hair was longer you never hi I'm Kurt Hummel and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker oh hey buddy I thought I smelled failure we really came together this week as a team yeah a gay team a big gay team of dancing gays seriously don't touch me I won't destroy you I am about to vomit down your back thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair I mean makeover should I correct me coach geez are you okay and your big feet well I'm sorry if my femininity threatens you and if the school board comes here and sees schizophrenic students clearly off their meds talking to puppets 3 2 think I don't have a handle on things well hey hey Kurt Papa this is contraband and if I catch you with your hand up the butt of anything that isn't human you're in a world's trouble here we should actually thank you well then thank me thank you don't actually thank her except porcelain my sweet shrill fragile gelfling I want what imitational the one I organized to destroy the glee club once and for all I said that out loud didn't I I just said that in voiceover now is your great grand uncle in charge of his faculties or are you going to be feeding him because I'll just need to alert the bus staff that I might be changing it it don't diaper excuse me I can hear everything you're saying well then allow me to personally thank you for being part of the greatest generation oh all right here is a children's menu for baby and the early bird menu for old timers and yes of course we have liver and onions what is going on why is there a bear in here you're early she's Oh Brad you scared the crap out of me warn me before you talk in this argument I don't have a leg to stand on [Music] I'm happy to help judge your potential virgins and it looks like first time [Music] well well well if it isn't miss sally field and not without my buffett did you really think I was too stupid to suspect that you would come back here under the cloak of Darkness to claim your monstrous puppet bride you strange tiny doe-eyed pervert kindly remove your fist from puppet Hummels but place him gingerly on the desk hey I would watch your tone with me if I were you busted timber fake well then you're gonna have to cancel Wonder Woman's invisible jet or whatever magic discount bullet train you kids use for your weekly Johnston New York now get out of here go feel shame William Michael Schuester no no no don't even think about it Becky [Music] that's right imbecile homeless teen drifter you'll have to go back to being a full-time spokesmodel for Billy Dee Williams yellow hair helmets for women who couldn't possibly be less blonde vacuum here to see Sue your appointment no dick get out [ __ ] I just got a haircut also if anybody's wondering and the winner of the tacky plastic angel made in the Philippines by a 12 year old child Slade hello losers well you live in the worst neighborhood in Brooklyn there isn't even a lock on your door you might want to look into that unless of course you think the rapist is gonna just move on to the next apartment filled with nubile nineteen-year-old simply because your door is so damn annoying to open I married myself points but I don't think I didn't do because I was busy publicly breastfeeding my baby at Starbuck thank you what a treat stomach turning waste of everybody's time I hate you both sure you might get hit by a bus or stop for pierogies and end up being human trafficked by the Russian mob guys might want to sit down for this I've some huge news you guys got married an adoptive Russian twin babies yes here's the most genuine honest card generous sand dollar let's face it there are good kinds of yeast and bad kinds of yeast but bad yeast goes scat with the yeast is sad burns an itch or a thing of the past and used to stats seven easy steps a precaution makes feeling fresh Febreze I like yeast in my bagel but not in my muffin [Music] and free let's keep sleeping together insert an art gallery in the performance space downstairs I know a gas induced fantasy dance sequence when I experienced one well one hour ago I got a call from detective Sue Sylvester with the LAPD saying that a 50 year old Ohio man with a perm had abducted 12 emotionally disturbed teenagers and if he tried to make a reservation I was to contact the FBI I think young Anakin has a diaper full of midi-chlorians r2 said c-3po as he bottle-fed space formula to the infant jedi who would bring balance to the force the bills wrote exactly zero songs about what it feels like when you tell a girl that you don't think is hot you'll go to prom there because you feel bad and then you think you're gonna get Dominator prom king and then you don't and then the not-hot girl says I don't want to go to prom with you anymore let's sneak a cow into school my dream of being almost naked on a public bus is this close to coming look that homeless guy is sleeping on my face don't thank you do any of you know I called you in here is it too good prepare in case the North Koreans invade through Mexico even though I'm straight and you're gay and I'm blonde you're gay may the force be with you I hate to interrupt the blatantly homoerotic overtones of whatever the two of you are on the verge of crying about Oh agent number one stupid Trouty jo the happy strip in hobo what if we had like sparklers but we're inside that's crazy that's you know I've been meaning to ask you are you boobs getting bigger I look like a gay Thundercat porno what we're gonna be here for a while gay porno mags gay foot fetish porno mags not mine puppy paws it's not mine I go to church every Sunday forgot you're an oddly feminine man what I'm sorry would you mind just stepping outside for a moment while I [ __ ] slap some sense into my friend are your cats making out yes they are [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] get to class furniture and cultures one scary dude this isn't violent this is clever I taped it to my under boot my can-do attitude was born in that room and I skipped all that crap to study the time let's art of crime I'm Hispanic the way was that supposed to be the lesbian yeah isn't that what it's at can I ask you guys something private yes you should move to Israel what are you looking at Jar Jar briefs finally shook the last five pounds do Congrats baby a baby with whose vagina I want to get married now I have champ no Curt jazz hands fine took in a shoot Frankie you see I had my eggs frozen in the late 70s they didn't even have the technology in the late seventies I know I did it myself do you eat a whole chicken every day I eat a whole chicken at every meal [Music] oh I'm sorry I just realized that song might be the national anthem from whatever country you're from you MySite can't read and you wanted the singer dance accuse Burt Hummel of using his tire shop to sexually assault automobiles are you okay you kept making those weird faces the whole song those weird faces those are my sexy faces it just looked like you're having gas pains or something actually very proud of you twinkle tush you're a real trailblazer you know it used to be that just straight ex football players would lurk the halls of high schools after graduation but you've proven that gayest show choir champs at Saks desperately clinging to the past we have to be honest well I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about living on the bayou young Burt Reynolds may I gently remind you that on Wednesday December 5th you joined the Cheerios all right who can tell me who Christopher Cross is he discovered America clothes what to do it a blanket when when I was accusing you of adultery what does that have to do with me cheating adultery means cheating I thought it meant being stupid like being adult okay you guys welcome to the first informal read-through of the untitled Mary Halloran project so I will be playing the role of a Rachel Blane you'll be playing slain and Brittany you'll be playing Nittany whoa I'm guessing I'm jam flirty cert I'm cert like the breath mint let's start with seeing one interior cert and Rachel's apartment who can tell us what an anthem is the bottom of my Nan's pants so close just crack the egg I just don't understand the difference between an egg with the baby chicken inside of it and an egg with it and they're the same thing okay that's really confusing because this is a baby chickens house I pepperoni in my bra those are your nipples right I want to talk about you know that thing that we never told you what that sorry about you guys I just come here berries to turn to drugs this song is for anyone that's ever been cheated on this is insane I didn't cheat on you cheetahs had the fastest land speed of any living animal also please stop slipping bronzer into my moisturizer look the little color I only use lotion on my hands it looks weird if a person just has tan hey okay Kurt wouldn't you love Blaine just as much if he didn't have ten hey you smell like a nursing home I brought you both something what do you have that well it is your online genealogy profile I submitted DNA samples from your hair follicles that I stole from the lint trap and your washing machine and I think you're going to be very surprised with the results it turns out you share a great-great-grandfather one Thomas Anderson watchmaker from Philadelphia which means the two of you are third cousins you can't be serious DNA doesn't lie we'll have a wonderful evening just remember you're about to have sex with a family member porcelain you will wear this flapper dress and perform at nationals as porcelina you already have the lady gate and lady voice and you'll have to start smoking though because this dress is a size two she slashed the tires on my wheelchair 17 times he swapped out my lead blue with mayonnaise she made a fake elevator which she trapped us in and then pumped airborne drugs through the vents and built a small robot that forced us to kiss while it watched and made noises she put a live bear in my house Sue Sylvester came all the way to New York City to see me in my opening night on Broadway honey girl just so that she could walk out halfway through and have sex all over my apartment she cut my dreads off why does she hate the glee club that the gay shaven teenage Tom Selleck I was just told that I was expected to stand up and give a toaster but I just called target and they're closed [Music] nothing wrong no we're just rehearsing you think this is hard fried consuming your own twin in utero that's are you sure that's why I ended up divorcing myself shut up dreidel this is between butt chin and what's in this [Music] oh my goodness I have just been informed by the head Warbler whose name is Tristan or Crispin or Montague or something annoyingly fake no that's not cheese taco Jonah Hill I have cameras everywhere Becky but if it's like a dream secret how can you film that and I'm stop at nothing until I see you homeless in the streets drinking gutter runoff and allowing passers-by to perform lewd acts on your butt chin for money occasionally releasing hounds [Applause] why did you want the glee club to spend an entire day violently projectile-vomiting well I figured they all needed to lose a few pounds and there's nothing like a day-long projectile-vomiting sesh to jumpstart the old metabolism sure the sound of wills voice is like listening to Brian Boitano figure skate across a chalkboard while rubbing together the styrofoam his Tom of Finland ball gag came packaged in this is insane we should all boycott oh no no no porcelain this is happening each team will perform at this Invitational even if one show choirs co-director is kidnapped and held against his will causing him to miss the performance and I will be right back your hemorrhoid pillow what are those will you give America what at least 52% of it will legally tolerant it's means for him look bro kay I don't care what your name is I'm not into that stuff coach I'm sorry I said those hope would be still hot though oh honey I'm the one who's sorry I've been treating you like an unpaid intern what I should have been treating you like a paid intern that kid gay boy creepy incest twins other girl but oh my god they've gone crazy we can't let this happen to us are most of you guys gay how dare you I have a girlfriend we all have girlfriends really yeah well I just came in to drink in the old office one last time and to drop a hot one in the middle of wills desk but that seemed childish so I just peed everywhere I met someone online his name is Walter OH porcelain oh no no no no you will not come out of this alive this person is obviously a cannibal I mean look at you you are exceptionally well marbled if I were on a deserted island with everybody on you I would absolutely eat you first it doesn't even have to be a deserted island there could be any number of casual dining establishments and I would still opt to eat you a mouth-watering delicious corn-fed porcelain rump roast okay I'm leaving and it turns out I was in labor and Britney it was you and I was very lucky because there was a little cow over here and he helped lick you clean and I seems like you're Batman only yay I guess it's like your Batman can do this so can you thought it was you you have you know oh yeah Nelson this is my boyfriend Blaine hey nice to meet you meet you yeah I'm just here with my boyfriend Stuart you wait you guys know each other yeah moans Mars the lesbians of candies jelly beans are the gates of course make this school the best in the state cement my reputation is the greatest educator since mile and then bride off into the sunset on the back one of the five remaining black rhinos on the planet instead now I find myself right back where I began with a singular unwavering mission I thought I had decapitated that glee club well an incident like a genital wart but it has emerged once again Oh fire [Music] now if you'll excuse me out of the corner of my eye I see a fatty who could use a good healthy fat shame my Pakistani doctor has informed me that I Sue Sylvester have developed a duodenal ulcer oh now I've taken to drinking a mixture of motor oil Bloody Mary Mix and bat guano just so I can bleed out died the Glee Club is hosting the Lima Gay Men's Chorus oh no she did it su-eun up Carmen cut me herself like with a knife because she wanted your blood for potions yet you signed this legally binding contract that clearly states on page 43 paragraph 7c - 9 Blaine Devyn Anderson will provide said cheerios duty at any and all pep rallies assemblies Town Meeting state fairs concerts television programs motion pictures video games Republican National Convention I never sign that well that's funny because your signature says you did that's a forgery and you can't prove that it probably could Cheerios regionals is fast approaching and I need a shiny sexually non-threatening gay to hoist up some of the most gorgeous girls in America over his head I have a bird's-eye view of their baby oven and not even be remotely interested and that would be you thank you but I'm just too busy with glee club and student council if you need me back I guess I could do it why are you even here you called me out of class you dismissed go find a new boyfriend maybe Lance Bass is available at RuPaul suit up soldier I have been her on no Thank You Becky I'm not rejoining the Cheerios oh you most certainly are there's something very unfortunate will most likely be happening to you extremely soon are you threatening me uh yeah it will be beyond [Music] [Applause] [Music] this one is for the boys with a booming [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: glowing_ believer

Views: 1,252,770

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Id: DFxPIrvBv6g

Length: 39min 21sec (2361 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 01 2020