Girlfriend Disaster, Instagram Hacked, & Surprise Colonoscopy: Jordan Taylor's Life Lessons

[Music] i didn't have any game i don't remember something about you though what so when i was young you were i don't know what interview maybe like 60 minutes or something i remember the guy like walked into your bathroom and pulled out a book that said like dating for dummies yeah yeah for some reason i always remembered that yeah i was like i probably need that book too oh yeah that was mike wallace it was rest in peace that he was uh yeah he was so good and he went into the bathroom come out and had a whole topic to talk about i think that was where i said i was going to drive the boat boy talk about some things that got some kickback yeah yeah dale says his quote was uh to work in a relationship i'm the one driving the boat that was his yeah i was like if i'm going to be in a relationship oh yeah i'm driving yeah yeah and you got some kickback yeah was twitter around back then nope that's good if it had been you'd have been and you know and now that i'm married i realize that that's not how it works your first mate at the best i'm good yeah yeah you're happy absolutely i don't want the boat right i'm gonna ride over here um yeah that i uh you know we have some similarities in the fact that we were both really shy and introverted i had no game so like when i would my uh my crew chief uh tony yuri senior used to joke that it was the it was the only reason why yeah the only reason why i'd ever get a girl to go out with me was because of the nomex i was probably similar so my first girl i dated was from a racetrack and i think it kind of started from my mom you know johnny o'connell the driver so he was a corvette driver as well and i was racing at cadillac at the time i was i was 20 or 21 and he was like jordan you gotta like who are you dating i'm like i'm not dating anyone and my mom actually went to him like johnny try like teach him something teach him how to talk to a girl or yeah introduce him to someone so johnny like took it you know literally literally i'm like okay and i didn't know this at the time and so the team had like a couple girls to i think like hold the flags or like maybe sell shirts and stuff and he's like oh there's this new girl um they all love her like i love you to meet her i'm like okay i'll meet her so i met her at the track in ohio and she was really nice we went to dinner really awkward dinner obviously uh first date and then johnny's like all right now you invite her to your next race because i was going to go home she lived in ohio next race was in wisconsin road america i was like yeah just fly her out to your next race i'm like okay i guess that's the next step so flies out to the next race super awkward again like i don't know what to do come to the track meets the whole family obviously because my dad's there my my mom and ricky and uh meets everyone's hanging out and then i go home she goes home and we're like kind of planning the next date and like maybe i'll fly up to ohio to see you so yeah that'd be great so go to bed one night wake up the next day for a triathlon at 4 30 and i'll never forget all the details of this story 4 30 in the morning i'm waking up i get a text 4 28 group text with her name and like four others and it says hey i'll see you soon from the number i don't have and i'm like hey i'll see you soon uh who is this and now i'm like getting ready for my triathlon it's like five o'clock in the morning it comes back your worst nightmare the sand monkey what and i was like okay like it must be one of her friends kind of messing around so i'm like i have pretty bad nightmares but the sand monkey doesn't sound so bad like kind of joking around and i'm like no that's you her and another number you don't have yeah and i'm like yeah so i'm like it's gotta be like our friends are messing around and it comes back shut up jordan you don't know who you're talking to you've been going out with my wife what yeah and i was like oh my gosh and so i'm like in shock like i'm like arriving at my triathlon like what the heck's going on and i'm like like i don't think i said anything at this time and he starts sending wedding pictures and i'm like holy cow and i'm like trying to piece it together in my head i'm like trying to convince myself that this can't be true because she's like modeling i'm like maybe you know these are some modeling pictures she has a wedding dress modeling for the wedding magazine yeah so i'm like trying to convince myself that this is okay and uh so i'm like i take it out of the group text and i text him like hey like if this is true like nothing happened don't worry about it i'm really sorry if i'm in the middle of something here like i didn't mean anything um any bad intentions like i obviously had no idea and he's like yeah i know who you are i tracked your cell phone to road america and watched the race and then he like watched the whole race and as the camera like panned across my pit box he had like a picture of her in the pit box like i know she was there with you and i was like oh my gosh like and then he went back to the main text like hey uh whatever name to the brother like hey let's go get this guy what he's gonna be in laguna next week and i'm like holy cow like don't come get me man like i didn't do anything i don't know what you're talking about and then uh yeah and so then it was all true and like she called me crying apologizing and she ended up being like 15 years older than me oh my gosh yeah i was it was crazy that is crazy what an introduction to like the dating world so what did you ever sort it out with this dude with the guy yeah i'm like hey man i'm really sorry i'm about to start a triathlon and i'm gonna probably run as fast as i can now but i won the race thinking you were behind me so i'll call i'll call you after so i called them probably 20 times throughout the day trying to get a hold of him and he never answered never got back to me and then she called like apologizing and then was like wanted to make it work she said like they were separated but not divorced i was like yeah like i'd rather not get in the middle of anything and then so like obviously we broke things off and i actually looked her up a couple years ago and they're still together and they had a baby so what a happy ending yeah so maybe it was like the last straw that brought them back together i don't know yeah oh my god damn that made me so nervous i mean like this are you sweating now what other stories do you got today i got all sorts of weird stories good heaven well okay if we're on the topic of weird stories nudes on the black market i love that you put the titles on there was there no description to that one no no that's it nudes on the black market so do you want that story so a couple years ago my instagram got hacked by like russian hackers and was your password not good i guess not yeah fluffy123 my dog's name yeah so so i'm like trying to figure out how to get back can't get it back for like two weeks and then i'm like there has to be a way to like contact instagram or facebook so i google contact number for facebook because i guess they own instagram uh like top top one comes up yet contact facebook facebook like slash help i'm like this is it so i call the number and like yep i give them my email and my username like yeah okay we see your lock like we see someone in russia has your account i'm like okay like can we get it back then yep give us approval to block their ip address and we can block them and then we can get you in and reset the password okay and then i approve and they're like okay they come back like a minute later okay we've blocked it but they're now pinging in italy and croatia we need to ping these if you give us approval i'm like yeah okay just just do it i love them yeah block it whoever you have to block and then like five minutes like i'm on hold and like five minutes later like they come back and they're like okay we've got some news for you and i'm like okay like what's going on and like so the hackers have taken every one of your instagram photos and edited them to make you nude like they edited all your photos and i'm like what are you talking about and they're like yes and they're selling them they're selling jordan taylor nude photos on the internet i'm like you've got to be kidding me and they're like well we can take this down if you give us approval and i'm like yeah just take them just do it like i don't need to give you approval to do these things and they're like okay and now we need you to go to the apple store and buy a gift card and i'm like what and like yeah you need to go buy a gift card and give us the code off the back and i'm like there's an apple store like 30 minutes for me it's gonna take me an hour and they're like yeah we'll wait for you i'm like that's weird so like i go on speakerphone like google like facebook scams and that was like the number one scam and i was like oh my gosh i'm like holy cow yeah they had me on the phone for like an hour talking about nude photos how do what wait first okay so where did you see this number so so there's no phone number to contact facebook or instagram i found out like you cannot and you googled it and i googled like facebook help and there's a phone number there and somehow out of the country this person sounded they sounded pretty really they're like they knew a lot about bad actors yeah i got hooked quick they got you yeah i mean but they must make a ton of money like i was ready to go to the apple store and yeah give them a code for something and not get any instagram back yeah my goodness so whatever happened to you so then there's like what you do i can't remember how i got it back actually i think there was a portal where you can email like send in notices and i sent it in a bunch and eventually someone picked it up and but i know like a lot of people have lost their instagram because of it yeah so you needed like the two-step authentication or something damn yeah you need two-step authentication right i hate to say this because i don't want the hackers trying to prove me so that was really pretty that was the other thing with it so when they get it the hackers send messages to all your like recent message people like weird messages so like people were sending me screenshots of messages that i was sending from my account like hey why are you sending me these weird links to like other things i'm like that's not me oh my god i hate that man yeah yeah they can't have nothing nice although if you did have nude photos out there that could just be another alter ego did you that is true yeah either come up with something else that would be it right yeah all right bert is going to be the next alter ego if that thing ever happens all right oh man um surprise colonoscopy do we want to go there that's a weird one oh cause these other ones are normal yeah it sounds weird uh do you want that one yeah let's hear it so yeah i guess it's a personal one but it's a good it's a funny story so when i was racing for cadillac in a dalara the dolores simulator was indy and i'd spend lots of time there and this the seat in there was super uncomfortable and one day like my butt was so sore like shooting sharp pains and people are gonna get to really know me on the podcast so like crazy pain like really uncomfortable and so i got home and like i didn't want to tell my dad's a big worry or something and there's no chance i'm telling him or i'm going straight to the er and they're going to be all up in there and uh so so i talked to my mom like hey who's our like i think it's gastro something yeah doctor yeah something like that and so i go see him and i'm like hey i've got these pains like okay yeah we'll um come back monday at 6 00 a.m and i'll have a look at at you and i'm like okay like do i need to do anything do you do this and this and it'll be five minutes i'm like so like i don't have to be put under anesthesia or anything like no i'll do it myself it'll be really quick you'll be in and out five minutes like awesome like i don't want to yeah i don't want anyone else dealing with this or anyone else to know obviously and other than everyone else watching now um so so i get there 6am and i walk in and it's like a proper like medical facility i'm like this is way more intense than i was expecting right off the bat i thought he was just gonna like take a peek down there and tell me what was happening and uh so i go in and they instantly give me like a gown with like the open back and i'm like like this is already weird like i don't need this i was just gonna drop my pants for the doctor i think and she's like okay like take a seat i need to take your vitals on me okay and she's like so who's driving you home today and i'm like no i'm driving myself it's like no but you have to have anesthesia for this operation i'm like no no the doctor said it's five minutes uh i'll be in and out i can drive home and she's like oh that's weird like we've never had that and i was like no i think i'm here for something different then because the doctor said it was fine and it's like okay let me go check so she's like go check with the different nurses and they're like okay like yeah i guess the doctor said this was okay i'm like getting worried i'm like okay like i think it's okay too and at this point like i've committed myself so much you know like when you commit something you don't want to ask any questions like i haven't i definitely haven't asked enough questions to the doctor to know what i'm going in for here with what's happening now like i'm wearing it down they're trying to give me anesthesia and i think he's just going to take a look at my butt and uh so they start they start rolling me they start rolling these down the like the hallways and this nurse comes by he's like oh we got a bad ass like because i was awake and i'm like like what the heck does that mean like you think i'm sweating now like i was sweating profusely like what is happening like what are they gonna do to me in there and like they roll me in and there's a bad ass so like they roll me they roll me in and then there's like all sorts of screens and there's four nurses and i'm like holy moly like this is something and they're like like all right roll on your side the doctor's about to come in i'm like okay i roll over and the doctor like normal conversation like hey jordan like how's it going how's the racing going i'm like hey like i don't want to talk about my racing right now like just get like finish whatever's about to happen here and then this like nurse walks into oh jordan taylor oh you're the race car driver i'm like oh my gosh like what are the chances someone here recognizes a sports car driver like this is just perfect and so i roll over and they're like okay so he's like so this is gonna you're gonna feel a little pressure and i'm like okay and there's like so you watch that screen and that's the camera and i'm like oh my gosh like they're putting the camera up there so they put the camera in i'm like holy cow this is a colonoscopy and uh so like he goes in and i'm like just he's like just watch the screen i'm like no no it's okay so i'm like i'm sitting there like have you guys had one of these yeah so but were you awake okay so no one's been away yeah yeah okay so you are not a badass so there was an option so so i'm like lying there on my side and like staring over there and like at some point like it gets it must hit like a trigger point where it feels like you have to poop like it must be like some sort of sensor or like something in your body like when it gets there like you have to poop and it gets there i'm like oh my gosh like i'm like holding on to the railing i'm like holy cow i'm about to poop all over this guy's hands his hands are down there with this camera i'm like i can't say anything like i can't like i'm just frozen and i'm like shaking like this like sweating and like trying not to poop and he's like and i'm like the nurse must have noticed i was shaking she's like are you okay and i'm like is it normal that you need to poop right now this is your normal sensation and the doctor's like oh yeah totally normal totally normal session like well i think i'm about to poop so he's like i hold on and he starts backing out and he backed all the way out with the camera he's like and i'm like okay well i guess i don't need to poop anymore and then he's like well everything looks okay and there you're good to go and then i rolled out and i was like holy cow i'm never doing that never doing that again and then like when i was like and then even when i was out of it i went out to whatever like the post surgery thing was yeah and a nurse comes like oh you're awake already that was quick and the other night's like nope he was awake the whole time she's like oh my gosh oh yeah so i don't recommend that how do you find yourself in all these awkward situations unbelievable i just i guess i don't ask enough questions like i didn't ask the girl if she was married at first i didn't ask the doctor what i was going in for i just trusted him to say it was a five-minute look yeah it was horrific oh my gosh traumatizing didn't ask anybody if facebook has a helpline because that would have been that have been useful information for sure holy cow wow man that story also hasn't been told publicly oh it has it oh my god there you go wow get ready are we going to be able to watch an im's a race ever the same again i know yeah he's a badass he's a badass you are by definition a badass right wow good for you my god hey what's this what's the uh natural podcast transition from uh colonoscopies feeling like the poop to racing does anybody know that we need uh nope got nothing nothing wow what is the lava lamp life lessons so that was kind of like that would be a lava lamp life lesson right there like always asked questions before that kind of like between two ferns yeah so like i had this like series on my instagram where i did like lava lamp life lessons like the first one was actually always when you go in to date someone always ask them if they're married first oh yeah and then add a few of those where is all this content that's on instagram it still lives there yeah it still lives there like hashtag probably live a lamp life lesson i think you should think about a series a youtube channel yeah i thought about a youtube channel i just i mean i do everything by myself like everything that i film is just literally on my iphone and i usually just prop it up with some duct tape and she'd work for dirty moment well you don't remember this but you i do remember do you remember we did a call yeah we had a phone conversation it was years ago yeah i remember i my impression was you just didn't really want to be on the phone oh really i was probably sweating that day so i was like holy cow no like i said i i we hung up i'm like i don't think he's interested i don't think well i think i was nervous because like usually everything i do is just off the cuff whatever i want i think when i have to like be planned to put stuff out i was like i don't know if i can perform on the spot like if he needs a video by tuesday like i'm going to be stressed thinking of a video yeah yeah yeah so i was like holy cow this might be too much for me like i just do stuff as i do it yeah but that's all right i mean oh dude i'm just saying like well all i'm saying is is like so jordan you have all these stories and all this great content and it's just kind of you got to go find it right yeah so you need you need to put it in one spot for you yeah yeah so people can go to the youtube channel or something this is where it's at yeah watch it it's brilliant stuff and it's brilliant because you're so creative with it and i think that it's not just that you're creative but also there are most race car drivers i think the common logic forget race car drivers athletes are too afraid to put themselves out there that you know there's some of there's some of the the fear of putting themselves out there one of the things that we combat a lot with the young guys is they don't think that their life's interesting yeah you know and there's um there even though we have these giant egos and we're trying to be cooler in ever you know each other there's a part of them that thinks nobody's going to care about this yeah i'm not important right yeah what i do is no different you know and but people do care yeah i think that's why like people like you so much because you're so relatable to like the average fan but he's the one that thinks that way by the way i also have a hard time like sharing because i feel i can you know before i think man this would be cool to share this yeah and then i can think of 10 reasons why yeah and then i don't yeah i have the same thoughts a lot of the time yeah so but at the same time like when i follow someone like if i follow a racecar driver i'll probably unfollow them if they're only posting workout pictures or race car pictures like well you want to know who the guy is you only get the workout pictures right before the daytona 500. from that car guys they're all every one of them's like in the gym season's coming unless it's divided that guy must live in the gym well yeah i bet he does there's a couple yeah like stenhouse yeah and a couple of those guys are like legit in the gym but then there's the other drivers that never go into the gym but boy before the daytona 500 they're gonna get a picture of them in the gym is that because me too me too i'm doing it too guys is that because they gotta get on the scale and and have that number flash or just because they're just a brand new ego yeah like i've been working harder yeah yeah i'm in there too yeah yeah but you're good because it you know you you absolutely have to humble yourself i mean to tell that story right now you could have probably thought i'm talking about the colonoscopy it could have been any of them um but you could have probably come up with 10 reasons why you probably don't want to tell this story on it but yet you you humble yourself to the point and you laugh at yourself yeah and that's what i think people most people are too afraid to do don't you agree yeah but i like i like sharing it because like i even i told my girlfriend last time like these are some of the stories i think i'm going to tell like if i need to i'm like and i told that story she's like wow like that's pretty bold that you tell that and i'm like but like if i heard someone else tell that like if i heard like a driver or an athlete or someone tell that story like holy cow like i can i probably can't relate with that story like most people probably can't relate to that story but like that's a normal guy's problem like that's not a race car driver's problem like race car driver's problem is going to be like holy cow like i had a bad day at the racetrack yeah which no fan can relate to but a driver going to have a surprise colonoscopy like that's an everyday problem like someone else has probably done this situation and i think i would respect a guy telling that story just so i can relate to them and be like that's a normal guy all right guys i know a little bit about cars so believe me when i tell you that tire pros they're the real deal they've got great people great service and they can take care of all your automotive maintenance needs plus there are spots for this show so you know they got great tasting podcasts so check out tire pros follow them on facebook and tell them that i sent you

Channel: Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s Dirty Mo Media

Views: 127,576

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Id: S-bHzYp1q7A

Length: 22min 24sec (1344 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 02 2021