George Santos Kicked Out of Congress, Trump Ate “Too Much” After Jan 6th & a Very MAGA Christmas

previously on Jimmy Kimo live hello s from Hollywood it's Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight Ray Romano Sebastian Maniscalco and music from Paul Russell with Cleo and the cletones and now Jimmy [Applause] Kimel [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hi I'm Jimmy I'm the host of the show thank you for watching and thanks for joining us here in Hollywood California we are it's we are like exactly three weeks from Christmas uh at today are you um four nights into the Elf on the Shelf if you're parent of young kids last night once again we got in bed uh we just start drifting off the sleep and my wife goes oh we forgot to move the elf and so downstairs I went to find a new shelf for the elf which I'm not sure our kids even buy anymore our son Billy is six now the other night he kind of muttered something about it being us moving the elf and I said why do you think it's me and Mom that move it and he said without even looking up he said because it is and yet still for some reason I'm running downstairs in my underwear at midnight to move this thing it's very easy to forget the elves so as a reminder and as a service to all the moms and dads out there who are doing this here's an idea for your Elf tonight it's just almost midnight hopefully the kids are asleep go get the elf uh put him in the medicine cabinet and let him go to town on the Luda or whatever you got in there tonight on Monday Night Football the Bengals were in Jacksonville last night Taylor Swift was in Green Bay playing the Packers here she is walking into the stadium all decked out in red with Britney momes the wife of Patrick and here she is uh leaving the game after the chief's lost youo yeah you're always safe just saying hi it was the first time that the Chiefs have lost with Taylor in attendance and I have to say wasn't a great performance for Swift her applause was disorganized especially in third down situations had a tough time cheering against the more experienced Packers fans it's easy to forget she's still a rookie she still has a lot to learn but whenever Taylor Swift is in a town it's a big deal the local NBC station in Green Bay even had a reporter stationed at the airport Taylor it looks like has slipped away in a moment in time as the two vehicles that brought her to Lambo field drove right by us here roughly 20 minutes ago here at Austin Trel International Airport and then roughly 10 or 15 minutes ago we did see her jet taxi right by us and we also got to meet some young swifties coming here just to see Taylor you you know they're on the plane and so in a way it's sort of like you seen them but you haven't yeah I mean not sort of so much as exactly but yeah I know thanks for driving us here in 14 degrees dad speaking of cheesee heads Donald Trump was up very late last night thumbing out a rebuttal to a story in the new book by former congresswoman Liz Cheney at 12:56 a.m. he posted crazy Liz Cheney who suffers from Trump derangement syndrome at a level rarely seen before writes in her boring new book that Kevin McCarthy said he came to Mara Lago after the rigged election because the former president was depressed and not eating that statement is not true I was not depressed I was angry and it was not that I was not eating it was that I was eating too much that's why they send Kevin in for once I believe him by the way I don't why would he why would he mention this I don't get he can't Reon whenever someone says he has to say the opposite he can't help it call him unstable call him dumb he says I'm a stable genius you mentioned his crowd size was small he says it was the biggest crowd in history say he wasn't eating he says I was eating too much for no reason I would like to I would like to have some fun with this and see what we can get him to contrad dick like I say Trump looks terrible in women's shoes and he's like no one looks better than Trump in women's shoes when I wear pumps people come up and they say they come up with tears in their eyes say Sir we've never seen Cals as sexy as yours and he went on he said but that's not why Kevin McCarthy was there he was at maralago to get my support and to bring the Republican party together only well in that case File that under wasted trip because Trump misspelled Kevin two times in one post the guy who's constantly questioning Biden's mental sharpness cannot spell one of not only one of the most common names in the world also the name of his co-star in Home Alone too okay his favorite son Trump was in um in Cedar Rapids on Saturday where he floated has to be one of his most nonsensical election Notions yet in 2016 we just ran the whole east coast of the country and that made up for California which I actually believe that if they didn't have rigged elections out there if they didn't have all the paper B you know they sent out like 36 million ballots and nobody knows where the hell they're going to or coming from but I think if you had a real election and Jesus came down and God came down and said I'm going to be the scorekeeper here I think we'd win there I think we'd win in Illinois and I think we'd win in in New York yeah yeah oh first of all if Jesus comes down you're going straight to hell that's number one that's no White House no jail Jesus is like you're out and number two you have about as much chance of winning California New York as you do of winning an ice dancing medal at the Olympics zero these rally of his they've become like a professional wrestling event even Fox News had to break in this weekend to announce that what he was saying wasn't true every rally now he he complains about the election stolen he says windmills are killing whales he calls Chris chrisy a fat Peg and then he closes with um his signature female weightlifter routine he got the parents the sisters everyone's there so proud this young girl she's a weightlifter she's a champion they have a quarter of an ounce and a quarter of an ounce she grabs it Mom I'm going to make you so proud mom she's watching up then she gets down [Music] [Applause] get the B oh melan is a lucky lady isn't she anyway hand me those um hand me those nuclear codes again will you and a scoop of that metam musil while you're at it when Jesus does come back he's going to be so impressed by Trump's commitment to Christmas the orange Messiah has a lot of stuff for sale including wrapping paper from his Never Surrender Christmas collection featuring a mugshot photo ironically taken moments after he did surrender for the tree you can get a 3D replica of Mara Lago you can buy a mini faux gold Trump Hotel you can get a Cody Foster designed blown glass Donald Trump head a handmade Trump Christmas stocking full of Slovenian Sudafed there's a Donald Trump Elf on the Shelf um and don't worry K if you do anything bad he's done a lot worse and finally what might be the greatest Donald Trump gift of all introducing the the one and only original and newly redesigned trumpy bear trumpy bears thumbs up let everyone know he will always be there for you just find the secret zipper and pull out the American flag themed blanket and show your patriotism by proudly displaying trumpy bear in your home wait wait what comes out of the secret zipper because it's a you know if you buy two trumpy bears you get his son cocaine bear for free thank you you know well we are going to need something lovable to hang on to because George Santos is officially a former Congressman on Friday Santos was expelled by a vote of 311 to 114 um so back to stealing puppies from the Amish I guess I don't know the house maintenance crew wasted no time changing the locks to his office how funny it would be if they open that door today and 100 purses came tumbling out and while it's confusing as to why they would have to change the locks on an office he can't go into anymore apparently even though he's been expelled this is crazy legally he still has access to the house floor the dining room the cloak room and the gym which that won't be awkward at all you vote him out you're still showering with him George Sandos is basically an ex who still has the key to our apartment and here's an interesting fact oy you remember that Congressman Joe Wilson from South South Carolina the one who shouted you lie at President Obama during the State of the Union Address well he voted not to expel George Santos so I guess his position on lineing has evolved in the 234 years of the House of Representatives George Santos is only the sixth member to have ever been expelled the last Congressman to get kicked out was a Democrat named J James traficant from Ohio back in 2002 um I want you to disregard all of the opposing Council has said I think they're delusionary I think they've had something funny for lunch in their meal I think they should be handcuffed or chain link fence flogged and all of their hearsay evidence should be thrown the hell out and if they lie again I'm going to go over and kick him in a crotch thank you very much so santz is in very good company how long before George santz on our reality she big brother and the mass singer they got to be fighting over the sky like Nike and Adidas trying to sign Michael Jordan but for now at least he's out of a job and and we had to fire two of our writers too they have nothing to do now but we honestly grown quite fond of George Santos's Shenanigans and he he will be missed he'll be missed but he will not ever be forgotten will you you're accused of fabricating almost every single part of your life will [Music] you George Santos is I'm just a regular person Pierce let [Music] your I'm not a fraud I'm not a fake guess what Rosa Parks didn't sit in the back and neither am I going to sit in the back I'm going to give the fashion review of the new lunar suit today I Rise to honor the beginning of Yumm Israel's independence day you not Jewish well I I never said I was guys I'm Jewish I'm Jewish I actually went to school on a volleyball scholarship I put myself through college and got an NBA from NYU most people lie on their resumes he is George Santos also Anthony dealer and at least once a drag queen named qara Rashi were you ever a drag queen in Brazil no I was not a drag queen in Brazil guys I was young and I had fun at a festival I will remember you let's go [Music] M guys you got to relax [Music] you're I've gotten here I can chew and walk gum at the same time I can chew gum and walk at the same time we' know for the [Music] me I feel like w we haven't seen the last of him

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,574,611

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Cold Open, Holidays, Christmas, Elf on a Shelf, Monday Night Football, Taylor Swift, Green Bay, Donald Trump, Liz Cheney, Truth Social, Home Alone, Trump Rally, Trump Merch, George Santos, Congressman, Expelled, Republicans, Democrats

Id: QlbwuXQmfOE

Length: 13min 18sec (798 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 05 2023