Gender Reveal Party Explosion Causes Earthquake

life is something very special and mysterious we develop first in our mother's bellies and over time when we're finished baking mommy blasts us out of her at a doctor's office and everyone celebrates yeehaw destined to live a normal life with normal parents but then there's some people out there that are born for something much more and born to extraordinary parents and how do you know that how can you recognize when there is a special birth coming up well it's because the parents let the world know by conducting a terrorist attack to announce the baby's gender i'm talking of course about gender reveal parties don't let the innocent name fool you it's a wolf in sheep's clothing this when you hear gender reveal party start running because what they're actually telling you is that you're being enlisted into a war zone if you get invited to a gender reveal party it's like storming the beaches back in world war ii like i said last month because gender reveal party terrorist attacks have become a monthly thing now where people are dying at them or being maimed or setting the world on fire with the california wildfires resulting from a gender reveal party this has become an actual plague of egotistical narcissists trying to one-up each other with bigger explosions with blue or pink dust to announce a baby's gender gone are the days of just inviting your friends over and then revealing a blue or pink balloon that you pop with blue dust that flies out to announce it's a boy and everyone goes crazy it's a boy that's not what happens anymore now if you go to one of these things what's likely going to happen is it's going to be some kind of extreme explosion or they're going to bring in like a death row inmate and shoot them but they've already pumped their veins full of like colored dye whether it's blue or pink so they execute them and when the blood squirts it's like blue and it's announcing a boy or something this is hardcore like i said in last month's gender reveal party disaster where two people died you are twice as likely to die at a gender reveal party than you are to die by shark attack that is a real statistic and if it continues at this rate gender real parties are gonna take over vending machine deaths per year it's coming up there it's getting up there and i wouldn't be surprised if at some point you're more likely to die at a gin reveal party than you are in a car accident or something crazy like it's it's getting wild it is absolutely on like an extraordinary upward trajectory of gender reveal deaths so anyway why am i talking about it because again today there has been another disaster of a gender reveal party a family detonated 80 pounds of tannerite at a local quarry which caused an explosion so huge that it simulated an earthquake and shook two different states people were reporting their houses foundations were cracking pictures were flying off the walls and they all just thought they were being brutalized by an earthquake those fools had no idea there was something far more dangerous than a simple natural disaster it was a bunch of idiots with a ton of tannerite i mean how could you not know that though in their defense i wouldn't be surprised if an earthquake did result from this explosion the tectonic plates were probably just celebrating the exciting announcement from the gender reveal party and spoiler alert it was a boy so that's pretty cool that kid's coming into this world and he's already made an impact now luckily wylie coyote the guy who pulled the plunger to blow up all the tannerite turned himself in and maybe facing charges which he absolutely should so that's good news at least they've got the they've got the slippery explosion guru here so hopefully something comes from that but even if like you break this situation down 80 pounds of tannerite is so excessive when you blew that up who was to say that it wouldn't just kill everybody there you know what i mean like that is such an extreme amount of explosives like the shock wave alone could have caused the the carrying mother to have an abortion or something you know like that was so extreme i do believe he set the record for the biggest gender party reveal explosion though not the most damage obviously that record is still held by the family that caused the massive california wildfires a few months back but still a good attempt though i would recommend next time he tries to fire some kind of rocket into space and maybe try and blow up the sun or something like that like some kind of gamma burst i'm not really sure but there's definitely ways to improve this record i don't think it's going to stand for longer than a month or two at this rate there's definitely going to be something bigger next month probably some kind of nuclear submarine detonation that glows up in like a blue mushroom cloud but it definitely was a valiant attempt i just can't even imagine what goes through their head no one gets excited for a gender reveal party literally no one when your friends and family go there they're just pretending to make you feel better no one gives a absolutely not the people who care the least the people on the internet total strangers so it's a big waste of time the only thing people should really be getting excited for is the new u2's baby yeah i just wanted to quickly mention that the new u2s came out today so if you're interested in getting one of these bad boys and this is a bad boy that is a tall and muscular man you can click the link in the description below also i saw a lot of people wondering why there wasn't any fleshlights that's my fleshlight cutlass the attention to detail is spectacular there's like a little juicero at the bottom like the whole thing is wonderful chess on the back i think it's great so i mean if you want one you can click the link in the description below give it a contribute whatever you want to do but it's a beautiful collector's item now if i'm being completely honest i've become a fan of gender reveal parties and i mean that truthfully the lunacy of them and just like this incredible track record of death and destruction for something as innocent as revealing a baby's gender is fascinating and the stories are always so goofy and silly it's like some saturday morning cartoon like it isn't it's hard not to be drawn into them so it's not going anywhere more and more people are becoming narcissistic thanks to things like the internet rewarding them with those beautiful little updos and internet brownie points and so people want those they need those and they feel like a baby and revealing its gender is a good way of getting them because the internet's taught them that they've reinforced that idea because all the wholesome ones are like the big spectacles have gone viral or blown up on social media so everyone tries to get on that train and suck along that titty but it doesn't always work so you end up with like causing an 80 pound explosion earthquake disaster or flying a plane into the water killing two people or shooting your relative with a cannon or creating a pipe bomb that kills your grandmother or starting a wildfire that spans so much of a state in california you know it's this is you have all those disasters that all stem from the same thing you're not going to stop gender reveal parties you can only hope that they can entertain you at this point and so far it's been a crazy roller coaster it's been a wild ride but anyway yeah i just wanted to share with you the latest gender party reveal disaster and uh yeah that's about it see ya

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 1,776,994

Rating: 4.9804745 out of 5

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Id: b7jPVyjLlQk

Length: 6min 55sec (415 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 23 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/hagridscock]

Of course the first person to talk about this is Charlie