I may not say this right because i am new to english. But she has tremendous breasts, yes? Michael, who is this guy? Oh that's Fez.
He's a foreign exchange student. Who did we exchange for him? Jackie where'd you go? I had to get something for you to bite on cause' I told everyone you were having a seizure. Oh I just love Christmas. It's all about good tidings and cheer... and shopping. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus was going for. Well Hyde, it doesn't matter how much a gift cost as long as it's personal and sentimental. You know what's both personal and sentimental? Diamonds. When Michael and I were apart, he realized how much you missed me. I'm telling you Donna breaking up with
him with the best thing I ever did. I thought you said that getting a pedicure was the best thing you ever did? That was last week Donna. Thank you so much for helping with my Home Ec project Mrs. Forman. Well your welcome honey. Now Jackie, you ever made a pie before? No I don't really cook much. I just plan and getting by on my looks. Okay then. Jackie you couldn't find anything? Okay well no offence Hyde, But all you mothers clothes are whorey. What? Oh but they look great on you Donna! Thanks Jackie. Excuse me Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul? Cheerleading camp. And they're arguing and arguing and arguing Okay, no offence Donna. But all this talk about your mom and dad
fighting, well it's boring me. Wait Fez, what are you doing? Oh my God! Your a dead man! In a way I don't blame Fez, I'm very appealing. So have you and Eric done it yet? Yeah we did it I forgot to mention it. So what's the hold up? It'll happen when it happens. Yeah I guess if I were Eric's girlfriend, I wouldn't be in a hurry to do it either. You are way too young to be saying "I love you" Shut up Jackie, you say it to Kelso all
the time and you're like younger than me. Not in love years. I know it sounds impossible but what you just said actually makes sense. Look the sooner you realize I'm a genius the better off we'll both be. Michael's just after me all the time. I mean I understand cause' I'm sexy and all but still. I love it when Eric holds me. Yeah, I love it when Michael buys me stuff. Oh my god you guys! Guess who's
gonna be in the Miss Dairy Princess Pageant. Oh i know! A cow. No. Me! A beauty pageant? Yeah I mean look Donna. It's not enough that we know I'm prettier than everyone else. I want the world to know! Hey Kelso eat that. Alright green jello. Hey Jackie try some I heard green stuff makes you horny. Michael that only works with green M&Ms duh. Could you be any more annoying? Yes. I guess Fez really got me with all of the poems that he left in my locker. Oh that is so romantic. Doesn't Kelso write you poems? No, no but he's not foreign. Your first mistake was wearing pants for car sex. When you do it in the car, skirts are your best friend. Zip zip bim bam your done your dressed your back at the mall. You better watch your back. Really? cause' you should stop spending so much time on yours. Hi Jackie. Oh look it's Michael and his community chest I can totally respect that just be careful though or they'll call you a home wrecker. I can count the number of homes I've wrecked on one hand. Don't worry ladies cause' no one's
gonna label you here. If you guys wanna take off some clothes and shakes and stuff feel free. Not you. I wouldn't call you a home wrecker Laurie. No I'd call you a slut... and a home wrecker. Donna what's wrong? You look sad. I think Eric thinks I'm boring. Do you think I'm boring? Yeah a little. It's not like it's a bad thing. The world needs people like you. Your the grey that makes the colour, me POP! Okay, bye! He usually gives me a kiss goodbye. Yeah to be honest, it kinda grosses me out. Oh my God! He called me a bitch and you hit him and that's what happened isn't it? No. Liar! I am the bitch you love me! Being alone isn't that bad. It's a great
opportunity to get to know yourself. And be comfortable with who you are. Donna I already love myself I just want to French someone. Maybe I'm just lonely. Or I need a sign from like God. I don't know! Maybe I just need someone
to tell me if I'm crazy. Jackie you're crazy. Not you Bigfoot. You're so pretty don't even need to know math. That's so weird. I was just thinking the same thing. I don't wanna blink cause I'm afraid to
miss even a second of your cuteness. I know it's torture for me too. Donna, don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Jackie I pity you because you're dumb. Donna you look great! What could it be? Oh I know! You lost 80 pounds of ugly fat. Haha burn Eric burn! Okay maybe you should spend less
time worrying about being popular and more time being thoughtful, friendly, considerate. Okay can I get a translation cause' that was gibberish. How could I be runner up? If I'm not a rich popular girl I'm nothing. I'm like Donna. Well it's just I'm in the middle of this really good book. Donna books for prisoners. Oh honey it's blush not spray paint. Look Eric and I want one weekend alone where we don't have to be so secret about being engaged. I could even wear my ring if it weren't being resized for me. Can they make a ring big enough to fit your Paul Bunyan hands? Goodnight. Night. Jackie! Turn that off! Donna I need music to fall asleep. See I wear earplugs so I could just barely hear it. But he needs to be loud enough
because I like the vibration on the bed So how am I supposed to get to sleep? Think of something boring you know like school.. or Eric. You know normally I wouldn't cry on your sweater because you know it ruins the fabric. But God this ones just so cheap it won't matter. The person I love most is me. I love me most! You choose you? Look if I could run across the beach
into my own arms I would. How could Steven say I'm not his type? I'm everybody's type that's my thing. You know Jackie, I think maybe Hyde's moved on. No no no no no. You don't just move on from Jackie Burkhart. I'm like the bottle you need a 12-step
program to break my spell. I can't wait until all of Donna's giant clothes are out of the closet. I don't even go in there now. I'm afraid I'll fall into one
of her shoes and never be heard from again. Boy am I glad you showed up. It's a lot of pressure being the only good looking one in the room. Michael is so rude. You know there's two of us. None of this self-defense stuff applies to me. Okay I've said it before and I'll say it again. Everyone loves me. Here's what i don't get. Why would Sally sells seashells down by the sea shore? I mean that's a terrible location for a seashell stand. Hey Donna, sorry I'm late.
I didn't want to come over to all my other options for the night fell through. Good to see you too Jackie. When is Michael gonna ask me? I can't stand the anticipation. This must be how fat girls feel between placing their order and getting their fries. It's better to have loved and lost than to be butt ugly. What's going on with you and your stripper wife? You guys are fighting like
cats and whores. Well I guess it's true what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies fat. Even after you saw my... Book? You're lonely I think it's cute and endearing. I think you mean gross and appalling? Okay what do I want in a guy. Olympic gold medalist. Someone who doesn't talk to the help. Doesn't look like Eric. If your serious about this list, maybe
you should pick qualities that are a little more realistic. You're right. No you're right. No fatties! No baldies!
