Funny Best Man Speech Elmo

now gives me immense pleasure I think the hand over to William before I start I I've only recently found out that there's a sweepstake and I look for my speech today so make yourself comfortable I've gone for an hour and 60 hour and 60 minutes forever anyway oh it's don't alone well go right so good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to my best man's date today I must say it was particularly nice of James and Louise to dress up so nicely for it I'm joking of course but I must admit I do feel slightly on trial today because James has told me that if I do a good job here then I believe best man he's next wedding as well you know sir teacher this week I had public speaking is much like down to a nudist beach the first few minutes are always the hardest so let's crack on with them thank you very much James I'll be after the bridesmaids for your kind words and gifts they have done a wonderful job today and they're only rightly out shown by a gorgeous bride Louise and gentlemen I'm sure you'll agree with me but today is a sad day for single men as another beauty leaves the available list and ladies I'm sure you'll agree with me what today is passed by without much of a ripple I first met James seventeen years ago about 17 or 18 he was relatively new in the area and he turned up for pre-season training with my local football team I remember seeing him turn up on his Vespa moped in his dodgy crush on me and thinking who's this Muppet little did I know that 17 years old we dressed like one make out your own jokes I'll get to that story in a little while James became our first choice goalkeeper although he was rubbish to be honest we had a beer together after football training and our life along a very close friendship began from there that brings me on to one of only a couple of stories that I can tell you about today to be honest because there are many many stories regarding me and James but most of them incriminating me as well so about 10 years ago James and I offer a Saturday night out arrived back at James's house in Hebel Hempstead on a cold winter's Sunday morning to say we were Brian drunk is an understatement because after 20 minutes of James trying to unlock his front door he realized and thought they'd had picked up the wrong set of door keys and we were locked out we went around the back of the house and we could see that he left the very top window open and after about 20 failed attempts of just climbing onto a dustbin we decided we better give up a futile break break in the tent before one of us had an accident so in the end James decided before we froze to death that he should break the window on his front door to get in which is exactly what he do BD waking up the neighbors in the process they already of this story is that James reached in through the broken window and still couldn't open the door because they've been double locked from the outside that will lock by James of course six hours earlier just with those very keys in his pocket but things suddenly worked you know we didn't have any sandpaper after that for a long long time James are specifically asked him today to refrain from mentioning any past girlfriends and sadly let's cut the speech short by a good three seconds why is the magnitude range where our respective issues that danger Louise first met as they crossed bra paths on the stairs when they both lived in the same block of flats Louise tells me that the first time she saw James she thought he was handsome from afar now she thinks he's far from hence the first time James introduced no - Louise I remember thinking out friendly bubbly and easy to talk to she was and I always hoped that they would go the distance it was particularly nice of Louise that night to accompany James in the ambulance with me and seeing Hospital for three hours after I dislocated my elbow however that's a totally different story from then on I would always tell James that she was a good'n and there's ask below to say a definite keeper unlike James of course definitely not a golfing buddy Louise on my wife Claire have now become very good friends which makes it even more pleasurable when we all get together James and Louise have recent recently purchased a house together in Sullivan's where we've had some love and barbecues and evenings recently I think the house needs a bit of DIY work though because James assures me that after today he and lawyers are going to be banging and screwing every opportunity Hey now Paulo Xena apologies in advance that I'm telling you the next story of you've just eaten dinner my room with James about six months ago on another one of our friends stag weekends in Southampton I've left James around 4 a.m. washing and throwing shapes on a night club vegetable and I've gone back to sleep so I was glad when I woke to see James safely back and snoring unbelievably loudly in the next bed in the morning Louise can I please borrow some of your heavy duty earplugs next time I go over and please things I shouted over to James to wake up as we would you to go go-carting startled James woke up rolled over fell out of the bed knocked his head on the side side cabinet and was unable to lift himself back up I sell him bed laughing so hard but it hurt that seemed stop laughing when I realized the extent of the mess he had been in the night before because I could see sick on the end of my bed and I knew the home I hadn't caused it as I aged my way to the end of my bed I was shocked to see that James of Basie's thrown up on my bed and in three pairs of my shoes when they've got back from the club he had managed not deliberately he refused he promises me get sick in every single shoe some of which we're pretty much up to the rim I forgave them immediately though I suppose that's what girlfriends are for skit therapy for me I was told to share that well none of you will know this by let's congratulate to James already James I said to him well done you'll always look back on this weekend is the happiest and best thing you've ever done fitting words I thought at the end of a fantastic stag weekend in Edinburgh it was about six weeks ago my memories are a little hazy of the weekend but a big thank you to all the guys that attended and as far as the stag weekend went Louise I can assure you that James conscience is clean well it should be cleaned you never used it now of course what goes on tour stays on tour but I can't say that we did some clay pigeon shooting we've stinking hangovers rude of me not to mention I owe here I owe a then let's see yeah yeah I mentioned I owe because it was the only one it was p0 a ball plays in one of the sections and he's now a now a member of the CP PS Rui oh the clay pigeon Preservation Society now James James has put some money behind the bar tonight for a round of Jager bombs for the state party which are organized later on tonight although I don't remember drinking any honestly wife the other now we bought James a well-known Sesame Street start pushing that yet to where on the Friday night which went down very well with the Scottish locals now unfortunately most of you did not the light of seeing James dressed up in the flesh but fear not because those that missed it it is only right but I brought our start gets the long term partner big day today I'll give you James Ward aka Elmo everybody there's a little bit shy I think at least go and get it Oh truce have a drink sorry I'm worn out okay now I wanted to share with James and Elmo of course six bits of wisdom I found on the Internet number one never go to bed on an argument always stay up and argue number two the best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once number three always remember these three little words you're right dear number four in times of trouble remember these helpful words from Oscar Wilde women are meant to be loved not understood and this is a very you like number five all you couples here today please turn and face each other and stare deeply into each one in each and others eyes now statistically you're staring at the person who is most likely to murder you number six and most importantly always get on with your mother-in-law I was spoke to my mother in North for 18 months not doesn't that like I just don't like to be director I was also going to mention here that an anagram of mother-in-law's woman Hitler by whoa that way a quick message for Gina the harpist an amazing singer she made me cry today happy tears wasn't she just unbelievably fantastic a quick message to food from the photographer as well Andrew hello from hall pass night onwards there's going to be a photo booth at the end of the waves meal so please as many people as possible go and have their photo taken what let me say how lucky you are James you will leave here today having gained a wife that is warm loving and caring a wife who is funny and who radiates beauty wherever she goes and Louise how lucky you are that you leave today have been going to gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet our last takes opportunity thank everyone who is here sharing in James and Luisi special day and I also have a few messages to read from people who could not be here but wanted to pass on their best wishes to James we're sorry we couldn't make your special day but fell it to emotional losing a special guy such as yourself we'll see you again soon from all the girls at the fantasy palace I'm sorry near Louie's and James congratulations on becoming mr. and mrs. how I wish we were there to celebrate your big day now that is gone off fabulous and all your guests are having a ball rest assured we will have a beer or two or 10 in celebration for you both even though we may may be approximately eight thousand nine hundred ninety eight miles away on our behalf we would like you to raise your glass in a toast for the newlyweds may love be and every step you take in every word you speak and in every choice you make in your life together - mr. and mrs. Ward lots of love Deirdre Peter Kira and Aisling from Perth Western Australia nice bit just readings I also have a message from your cats Bill and Sookie the message read meow meow ha ha meow meow meow Louise and James I wish you both so much happiness for all your lives really wish I was there to spend this day with you but you will be in my thoughts all day lots of love Miriam now whilst Louise's uh mum Margaret oh you're on how it felt to see our daughter get married and she said an excuse my Horace accent don't beat me up please it only seems like yesterday that she was going to bed with her dummy where's the funny out history repeats itself there are no seriousness we wish you both nothing but the best for the future you are a fantastic unique and perfectly matched couple and I hope all your dreams come true and that you lead a healthy long and happy life together Claire and I look forward to being a part of your lives and having you both as part of our lives for many years to come James sorry I've murdered you on the speaker today you know there might be no much I love you thank you so much for the proud honor of being your best man today and on behalf of the entire wedding party I would like to thank you thank you both for sharing this wonderful occasion with us also a special thanks to all the parents without you this could never have happened now it gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise a toast to James and Louise the new happy couple mr. and mrs. Ward everybody

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Keywords: BEST, MAN, SPEECH, ELMO, SICK, GREATEST, FUNNIEST, EVER, FUNNY, BRILLIANT, WORLD, FLUFFED, OPENING, LINE, HILARIOUS, LAUGHTER, LAUGH, GOOD, WICKED, Comedy, Joke, humour, Humor, GREAT, TOP, QUALITY, SOUND, VIDEO, EPIC, Jokes, Amazing, Fun, Cool, Laughs, Laughing, Crazy, Silly, laugh, Video Clip (Website Category), Groomsman, Stand-up Comedy (TV Genre), Television (Invention), Prank, Lol, Entertainment, Wow, Insane, Incredible, Fantastic

Id: 6c1VKR9rEwA

Length: 16min 29sec (989 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 24 2012