Funny, Amazing, Laugh Out Loud Auditions | America's Got Talent

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] good evening what is your name my name is usama siddiqui i'm from plano texas and i'm a stand-up comedian you are a comedian yes do you do this for a living i tutor math on the side but the idea is to to make this the whole thing so you're a teacher right now i'm a teacher right now so this is the first time that you're gonna do it like in a stage like this big right now it's terrible gigs and terrible bars the idea is let's go to the next level do you have like a horrific gig that you did and you like still remember it worst gig i did was my brother's wedding i know i know how can you mess that up i did so bad my dad left during the set i was in a similar situation once when i made a speech at your brother's wedding yeah his wife didn't smooch me you think it was gonna go well and then it did not at all oh well maybe you can redeem yourself tonight this is it we hope the best for you thank you so much thank you guys so much how's it going uh my name is osama no relation okay to the guy uh my mom was terrified after 9 11. she was like osama do you want to change your name to something a little less muslim and i swear to god she said how about hussein very lateral move hussain i was thinking more gregory you know brian would be nice even [Applause] i'm stressed too i'm stressed too i just got broken up with it was an open relationship means you can be with anybody you want i didn't know this apparently the girl can also do that read the fine print and my girl got the first person i made the mistake of asking her this guy's name she told me you ever hear somebody's name and they know immediately that this person is a better lover than you i was like what's his name she's like alejandro i'm like no no [Applause] you you couldn't be with uh eugene you know or or assignment you couldn't do assignment you couldn't do assignment you couldn't do it diamond listen listen if you're not laughing right now if you're not laughing right now your name is eugene every eugene here is like actually i've heard they're pretty vigorous okay yeah so i met this guy and it was a relief because his name was alejandro but his voice was eugene straight up he comes here he's like hey man how's it going i'm like much better now and that's what that thank you guys so much y'all are great [Applause] howdy welcome thank you how are you i'm delightful thank you nice to meet you what's your name please josh blue welcome josh blue what a cool name thank you my parents gave me a stage name so i had to go with it no i did josh blue away from josh i live in denver colorado okay tell us a bit about you josh so uh i have cerebral palsy i like to get that out of the way early otherwise want to let you off the hook you know you're like this guy is drunk man i do stand up comedy i know i look like i'm about to fall over but i i'd get it done tell us why you decided to enter the show this year after the year we've had i think the world is just ready for some laughter uh hear hear yeah i just i'm a laugh junkie man i like that too okay the stage is yours all right buckle up all right let's go sophia [Applause] how's all really good to be here you know i'm not from california but i look like i am just another wobbly guy in the sidewalk i made eight bucks walking over here thank you hey can you guys see this bracelet yeah good speaking sure everybody always thinks that this is one of those copper magnetic healing bracelets like hey does that thing work i'm like oh yeah man i was in a wheelchair last week i'ma put it on this arm next week i better take it off soon though you know i don't want to get too better might mess up my show and then i have to figure out how to be a magic singing ventriloquist or whatever [Laughter] let's just say we're not getting a puppet on that thing oh my god i was back in denver last week walking down the street this lady come up to me i think it's so inspirational that you're out [Laughter] i was like i'm on my way to the liquor store i got eight bucks burning a hole in my pocket i was at a restaurant with a bunch of friends and the server went around the table and took everybody's order and then when they got to me they're like and what will he have my buddy was like i'm guessing to talk with your manager free dinner thank you this is the best make-a-wish ever thank you [Applause] how you doing how are you what is your name i'm gerald kelly what are you going to do for us uh i'm a comedian oh have you been working during the pandemic well doing the pandemic i started doing stand-up comedy in my backyard wow we've had people in the neighborhood that want my audience i charge a little fee love that you know what i'm saying social distancing yeah maybe a couple dollars to keep the lights on i got kids man i got to take care of my children good for you good okay so we can't wait to hear what you have any parents out here love being a parent certain things about being a parent i don't like like i'm not the homework dad you ever get your child's homework and just stare at it and make faces cause you don't know it ah [Music] this the new math no no they didn't have this when i was in school you got to add this attraction one time i did my son homework for him he came home all the homework wrong i thought he had a fight i said man why are you crying the teacher gave me two zeros i said how the hell you get two she said one for me and one for you i have daughters raising daughters is easier than sons my daughter go to school looking one way come home looking better but you ever pick your son from school you can't even identify your son how the hell you get a hole right here little boys don't never know nothing no i just knew it was it was chilly in my chest it was cold in my chest a little girl she bring a report card home to me she posted up little girls they're very smart they put she put the report card on the refrigerator because she know daddy going to the refrigerator i opened the refrigerator up there was a note on the refrigerator hey daddy i got all a's and a b-plus that's the best i could have done i love you daddy i emailed you some copies of fax grandma some copies and grandpa some copies you're losing weight daddy i'm like little boys don't ever bring the report call him they didn't give him out yet i'm like it's june [Applause] that's what i said i'm like it's june where my report card at thank you guys thank you so much is it your time now are you ready yes all right go make it happen little hunter make it happen [Applause] who are you my name is hunter kelly oh my god is your dad gerald yes [Applause] do you want to be a comedian because your daddy is a comedian yes are you better than your dad yes i'm way better than my dad by eric what can he do different to be better i think he needs more personality [Applause] you know he got four yeses i mean he got four yeses because i helped him oh oh god oh my god how old are you i'm seven years old and you know already that you're adorable yes oh my god okay we're ready for you we can't wait okay give it up for my dad girl kelly is a comedian i love that dude but he's a loser why oh my god i'm seven years old let me have the same job the other day he was like are you a hunter are you going to work tonight if you going i'm going we have the same job hey simon can you be my stepdad yes don't tell my dad my dad said don't ever ever get in the car with a stranger but tonight we should go over here [Laughter] [Applause] my name is hunter kelly [Applause] i just don't want you i just don't want you guys to forget my name [Music] so my dad is a comedian i guess you're wondering who is my favorite comedian who kevin hart that's my dude [Applause] in fact we both have a lot of common we're both funny and we're both the same height yeah well i'm a little taller than kev my name is hunter kelly america i love y'all [Music] you

Channel: America's Got Talent

Views: 1,853,582

Keywords: Simon Cowell, Terry Crews, America's Got Talent, AGT, got talent, america got talent, AGT 2022, America's Got Talent 2022, Heidi Klum, Sofia Vergara, America's Got Talent Season 17, AGT Season 17, AGT New Season, Usama Siddiquee, Josh Blue, Lil Hunter Kelly, Gerald Kelly, howie Mandel

Id: oKOP0lthEag

Length: 12min 45sec (765 seconds)

Published: Wed May 18 2022