Funhaus: Best of Lawrence Sonntag

I didn't even know San Francisco was real here's the deal so specific gang and I'm not happy about it okay yeah I'm not happy either boss so what we're gonna do is we're gonna take our sweet road bikes uh-huh and we're gonna cram them down the throat you hear me we do that we're gonna build some hold on get back down now I'm serious here it's like so cool a bunch of kids that got slow thinking problems you know what we're gonna do okay what we're gonna do Oh hold on late comer don't interrupt the boss what go sit down all right so what we're gonna do is to tell you we're gonna take wherever you guys that you had a fast bike yeah thanks I know you're there great teammates you and I oh we're right now we're information yeah we are oh boy how long was your trench coat hmm I don't well I had the one it was Navy it was almost ankle length oh my gosh that was pretty cool police tried to wear it riding a bike once but then the coat got caught in the vinyl sure you did grapes all over my face and grass in my hair what's the craziest thing the F H crew has done all right I know Lawrence did something crazy Lawrence okay real true story was a spring break and this was when I just discovered you could download emulators later girls or 6:00 a.m. so I could get up extra early to play all those games I never got the place throw me the gas station got myself a microwave breakfast sandwich but myself down was I got a long day work ahead of me started playing you in squadron here we go that that's it that's all warrants gone wild crack and open some brews playing GTA with the homies you know hey they're gonna kick me for being idle [ __ ] you dead ring why do I only like small condoms because I appreciate the challenge of it I like knowing that my dick can destroy anything you made it chicks love when any part of your body is too large for the thing you're trying to put it into really turns them on all that's true chick whatever you trying to put your head in the helmet yeah and then she's all like can we just leave the Walmart you're like no give it a wink and girl thank you guys joining me today as I say pretty much every day the only thing I went out of life is to raise my own little anglo-saxon girl yeah then it's true you do say that and I repeatedly asked should have such an opportunity to come up that you guys must help me thank you for dragging us into this hellish purgatory with you sperm Ettore purgatory an old probably the safest age cuz I'm legal but whatever goes goes so I haven't played this before I've only heard heard about it in legend in my dreams but I think that you play a like a kind of a grace coach I'm so proud of you course you think of maybe you'll ever have kids oh it's a toss-up at this point all right I'm in the negative oh she's not making a lot of money for eating so much you do something to make money oh no why don't you do something you're forcing your daughter to raise you I'm managing her I just go home there you go watch those dishes look at this dude who's just like puffing on a pipe and that's what you're doing yes this is the best world I love this video game Lawrence do you ever play these types of games and see them as practice for if you ever had a daughter I mean this is me having a daughter I don't understand the practice part of it she wants to know about music unless you there we go oh she really turned it around I'm really proud of my enemy dog let's see how long this lasts 10 year-olds always stick to their guns Oh another bonus man why haven't I been cramming her in this end we found a gold mine framing her I'm rich oh she's slacking off she's slacking off oh yeah she's like real bad you know for mistakes what is your [ __ ] problem I thought we were on to something oh yeah what the flowers not again God it was going so well for that one month what do you do while she's doing all this stuff you're playing is speed runners and Bulls new character he's unfair the game knows they're gonna die so it is the only time you've ever said that boo foxy rigt so remember when people hated Lawrence Lawrence remember what people hated you oh yeah that was yesterday did you know I can hold my breath for hours that's right I go down and I don't come up this yeah yeah yeah so I'll have a plane with guns so I'm gonna need you guys to help me help Namor the king of the ocean commands it's like a dad who never says I love you they want to make you tough did you see when I was waiting through the water and food and he eats a sandwich in front of you he's trying to talk it's like when Jesus went to Vietnam and he was [ __ ] killing Vietcong and having sex with Laotian women having sex in Laotian women it's like when you never get [ __ ] on your hind your dad has sex with your mom right in front of tritium also known as hydrogen 3 as a radioactive isotope of hydrogen that can I think bees for a fuel for a nuclear fission reaction dr. octopus needed the tritium because he needed it to fuel a nuclear fission reactor he was building if you wrote it's fusion not fission what's fission he wrote fusion oh yeah don't make him sound like an idiot you kept saying vision what did I say that's the point is there's a lot of [ __ ] out there a lot of real [ __ ] trying to poke holes in the ironclad spot of spider-man - no just just angry though opposite gene okay but why was it on the outside because he put it on the inside cuz he need the robot hands put it on the inside he was radioactive or insanity chip no it was the sanity chip and that's why you went insane because the chip got burned out we have business concerns to address I need you all to to come to the office we got it we got some work to do I'm on my way what's your office we have an office now you lose my place here we go soon you guys some invites to my office here who's this who's this hello welcome to my business can you invite your business in I'm here to see Lawrence sonntag yes I'm right here right there yeah if he's available I'd love to speak to Lawrence just like Steve Jobs CEO thank you all for coming Oh Lords is the funniest one of us all let me give you a little tour of the office oh no no let's take a little tour here here's a door what's her name it doesn't open yet but that's Katie yep I'm soon I'm here to see some douchebag aha you made it oh yeah let him in okay so glad you could make it what's your policy on validation I thought her name was Katie Oh Katie yeah sure whatever all right gentlemen everyone's here yep let's uh let's let's go into the meeting room and start our meeting there just sit down here and wait for everybody why does it feel like we're playing at the table no you cannot I want to sit back here Lawrence let me Lawrence that's okay okay everybody please take a seat how did Finn diesel react when he saw you he might be dead oh cage a little bit because she doesn't like to move cage yeah the water just came out of the cage I would give them the gift that that I've received and that is understanding that fake women are better than real women you don't have to teach people abstinence when they have graduated beyond having meat sex in the first place so I just go into the room I drop a little URL on the floor and I walk out and then we're all set to just teaching kids to masturbate well God teaches them to masturbate I just enabled nice work you deserve that come on you're gonna get him Lawrence you know what's a race uh you are riding the great space coaster what's that mean that means that I don't want to spoil it you know I don't want to parade that's fine that doesn't mean that as soon as the race will start somebody will get off and shoot you in the [ __ ] face because GTA people are [ __ ] hey everyone welcome to another episode of open house today we learn about safety procedure and how to not cut yourself oh you're already failing he's bleeding everywhere guys I'm a master of slapstick comedy my dad loved me and he expressed it and the only way he knew how beating his fists yeah cuz never a closed fist he set me down once and he said son you make me very angry but I will never fall my fists and then he punched me with a closed fist to say that is what I will never ever do to you I think it that often and then he put a pillow on top and did it again he'd sent you he'd sent you in the middle of your activator yeah [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] careful with that controller oh I think he won ether they're gonna reconnect that controller or connect a different working controller one that hasn't been thrown across the room all right well we're done cars there all right favorite coupe Lourdes Lourdes ambulance is here for you Oh let's get out of here look like it here oh oh there's a lot of cops the controller does not work and this hurts anything is real right that's [ __ ] great good blew up already [ __ ] this game god damn it I get to be in a sphere booth [ __ ] you this game for 12 hours you don't get to have fun too and 29 [Laughter] your help in a second so what's like that word why did someone give you a bandage you have bronchitis it's good for something called comedy John yeah you can wrap it around your neck Oh is a fascist state I feel like meadow Mon mommy would be neurotic show you our moistening that bandage so being born new Star Wars tip are the same theme Darth lips look damn it filtered beer hey wait all right it's gonna be fast I'm second in a second you gotta use air I feel like Lawrence is still having a good time love now he's just sucking beer through this is a good time to promote our new t-shirt the quintessential gamer yeah as highlighted during this whole sex re I mean don't get the bronchitis on that not my favorite I like the blonde one he looks so much in his natural stage name Brutus I don't want to see and I don't want to see time for you to become a man no not gonna get it otherwise hey guess what till John comes back in as a man I'm hosting this show right now all right I think answer your prompt is basically waffle John tell me right now what's a blue waffle was blue off tell me your right now if don't I don't you're wrong yeah I know three of you should have gotten shocked oh you didn't get shocked okay Lawrence can't feel anything so as somebody who never thought it could get better than trick-or-treating like getting free candy mm-hmm man is it is it wonderful to be a half a bottle of wine in and open the door and have a tiny Batman there and be like oh just scream at a child do you ever have a dream you accidentally had sex with you're like mom or sister or teacher no no every day you have to wake up thinking that I already wake up in a world where you're asking these questions that's the world I have to wake up to every night we sit right next to each other that's the world I have to win I never stop either yeah speak I'm moving soon so I'm gonna need like I'm gonna need some of the strong back why it's like your credit card so that way you can hire movers like sensible human being more than happy to help you move Lawrence you're a grown man hire movers Lawrence no no I'm not don't make that face your smile I'm not gonna do it I'm buffing my fingernails cuz the hell will smart I know you don't add rides holy [ __ ] just realized how wide / big Lawrence's mouth is it is very large very wide what's the biggest thing fit man my own fist really yeah you could do that I think I can right no there's no way it's so cold in here remember you're the one that's quit essential gamer shirt alright the thing is is that when Lawrence beats this I'll know it'll be better than cracker got those rounds pretty quick pretty well I disagree I'm gonna say that I don't think he was doing well at all Lawrence is better than him in every single way see you Craig beat the easy levels and now Lawrence explain the harder levels you broke the game cuz it's making weird sounds I was cuz the thing is about to crack the flaming skull but it did hate Lois I just want you know you doing a great job back there I really admire you for what you thank you you really pissing me off now once I say Welli superior take your pants off alrighty ready for the debut of the night I'll come into my van come into the command center of my van I will greet you there I saw the watch signal and I came here as fast I'll be waiting for you I didn't want to be late I brought some cookies oh hello you've made it thank you for joining me at my place you didn't know I love Dark Souls I would tie for Dark Soul I got a Dark Souls tattoo I gotta be honest I'm thinking about that wine table right now because he drinks lots of alcohol which we have footage of here it is I gotta sit watch his ass a little bad and yeah hey like a trimmer and Pinot Noir please when we arrived in San Francisco I was surprised to find out that Dark Souls have more Lawrence wouldn't shut up about it where's my book I am a Dark Souls lore master I don't have you guys know this I been hours I wrote the book on Dark Souls my dad was very strict it's not in some ways that that means that he was my first Dark Souls Oh Anna Londo why dad enough not a thing for city is that her Londo your [ __ ] idea I think his dad used to hit him or something here's the thing about virtual reality once you put those goggles on you are immersed and more than that everyone around you is immersed it's a total sensory immersion experience and with a game like Minecraft it's something you've never believed in your life before or in your life it looked like he was having an amazing time and I felt that too I was sitting there I was feeling everything with him was feeling the blocks was feeling the zombies I was feeling the skeleton I was feeling the nice lady who was also filming Adam for some reason the guy behind us looks like I got him I got him Lawrence that was awesome right I'm using only knives from now on guys Lawrence is just running ahead so we gotta stick with Lawrence Lawrence is still going can't stop me it's a good distraction though for me go okay I'll hack the pad don't worry about it huh Oh warrants you should have been called Warren I know my name I'm just trying to save Lawrence look at what oh it's pumping out through it to shoot this no it's a knife shoot you stab it breaking yes thank you real bad Moore's like we need to be nice Hey look at that nice hyper [Laughter] Lawrence is the coolest busy guys hey the Guardian guys come back in Lawrence obviously helicopter even for his knife he at 30% [Laughter] [Music] not what about you what do you have to say you gotta plant the seed that grows there it is it's so right no what should we do with our first crop one of them in a vacuum what's the opposite all right hey Doug who was that guy how much you get shake poncho doesn't have any service got you guys some snacks there you go buy some carrots and he brought turkey gravy so what'd you do with that watch that I gave you at my pond is it man I think you should put nug in charge and you go take a break this guy he's got it look at him he's got here up [Music] just looking up alien on blu-ray [ __ ] out of here get the [ __ ] out of here go on no that's close cook chop close [ __ ] out of here nude shoot Amazon account typically hello I'll leave but can I borrow credit card real quick though Wow [Music] what about this ring [Music] whoa [ __ ] Jim it's early [ __ ] now I got to wait 20 minutes this rice lost before any of you well cuz my driver drove me right into some [ __ ] [ __ ] thanks for that you know it's [ __ ] greenhorn ah that's a Green Hornet reference I mean we won when I played yeah my shirt he was just a spin oh that's right pretty long even I did pretty well it's not that hard Lawrence really okay now remember employ your parachute early survive in the sky i man just chillin our deities already know we're you successful oh yeah so we don't know if the play area includes altitude nah probably does Oh boom nah baby wanna take this car kill every [ __ ] I see you are you [ __ ] serious holy [ __ ] Lawrence Wow Wow I want you to look at all the dots on the bottom right Lawrence there's one missing on the orange one who do you think that is oh well we wish you guys the best yeah come on yeah Lawrence is stretching like he's good at the game Lord humble insert game here come along Dobby I said come but Dobby didn't move oh no he was holding up Harry's disgusting slimy sauce and looking at it as though we're a priceless treasure master has given us a sock said the elfin wonderment master gave it to Dobby what's that spud Malfoy what did you say with mr. Malfoy you missed a word I did see I'm Arden actually doctor but here's the reveal Dobby has got a sock said Dobby and disbelief master through it and Dobby cotton and Dobby Dobby is free cries the second guessing your comment joy hmm hmm no no nope who's this guy this old guy's been wandering around I'm coming on Lawrence to this old bastard yeah walk past their work here Lawrence is gonna win do you [ __ ] work here feel it huh I've been trying to like push objects and stuff it's glitching me now I'm stuck oh come on you suck now that's interesting [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Lawrence if you want to drive the car there I just killed sorry you know I have seen that I've seen the transporter about 50 times all right I should draw it all right you drive all right I gotta get out of here I just find a quiet location I'm gonna put on my fingerless gloves you're doing this you're doing it what is this aren't you looking a badass but not hard like Jason Statham just watching strop off points really far away it's really far also we have to spend all night driving through the desert let's pick well we're learning a lot about each other so what's your favorite maybe - I don't care for Jason Steve looks like that video on Jason Statham was in what you know when worries dancing around all weird come on well I want you to be a hole happen the piece is I six weeks ago this is what you will never ever be and I want you to know that you know you're good actor when you try to kill yourself can you imagine being so good at something that you kill yourself cause you're so good at it first of all don't kill yourself but second of all if you're gonna maybe wait until you get maximum spiteful satisfaction from it maybe somebody just like a total [ __ ] and you just [ __ ] hate him and then they kill themselves and you're like you know what I could do to myself right now and then people stop caring about that [ __ ] about me joking aside seriously don't you guys own starships what would you name Oh first of all you can't own a starship well why not no no one you can run a starship but you can't own - expensive does behind us I don't have any more news oh we're dead all right energy [ __ ] damn come on star penis sorry that's captain in the castle can't we never play this game again ha ha ha star penis lives this is on the house pain racing documentary trailer the thing that James and I suffered for one choosing a Huk Huk amici and for a mother Theresa thank you for appreciating my second Susan a hug Huk amici you know it's bad when the avatars anime and and also the name is anime that's like you uh no no not yet been more conflicted about one person than I have been about Mother Teresa she did a lot of good deeds around the world not something good no it's not hot she also like really hated condoms yeah and I'm like cuz she liked getting [ __ ] that everybody Lawrence coming in robbers Wow drunk CEO yeah who stay underneath underneath underneath I actually been thinking about it I might here I'll do it this time I knew he was gonna do it I'm gonna call him a [ __ ] and I hate that I hate that more than anything being called a [ __ ] yeah all right arrabal he's like [ __ ] Marty McFly a flag yeah you care one counts not that one the next one we're smoking that's okay yeah we're smoking that's right James we're on fire baby yeah put your cyberpunk on Punk on you guys don't know this but I'm a professional hacker robot my bag of packing stuff he went home he biked home to get that stuff I got my I got my hacking gloves it's just a beanie no there we go welcome to the prop surely there is a there is somebody probably me that could [ __ ] a demon to satisfaction sure see how cool Lawrence looks yeah Lawrence this is you so you know look it's fun today we're all me look at you we're all cool demons oh sweet this is what it's like to be me all day this is what I see this is my world in fact I wouldn't even know that cuz this just looks normal to me so pretend that I said that instead am I the only one that's super aroused right now yeah Lawrence what are you officially score this game out of 666 what do you give it 65 yeah pretty sure Lawrence has some form of complex disease that just won't go away cold autism well I mean yes I know you have that but I mean they were talking about how sick he's been like cancer are you finally better that was the autism flare yeah oh god no why would I ever cancer could be cancer no but that's like that's you poverty in China wall making cells all weird so when they do the pap smear it seems like it's cancer no ain't no thang but it's also dish yeah oh it gets all on me the shadows all their dirty juices and gels you get on KP so anyways he's better even somebody with autism can have sex is the takeaway right I will go back oh wow namor can't fly for you good out of the way of bullets Namor will defend you on on your approach does any more speak in third person I bet he does it's not like a dick thing Namor is concerned that no one remembers his name so by repeating okay often aha his marketability will go up ah so name wars marketability yeah for know what marketability is name we're very connected name are go to parties what are you playing like a a/c piano or something these are me this is me petting all of my fishy pals as they swim around me okay mmm okay I'm nodding my head because I enjoy this I enjoy my fishy friendz there's a little fruity bridge okay no my feet you free oh I'll give you a little friendly buzz here tap thank you you ass wow that blew up huh ee ride up what did you do I don't know man yeah I did that security check for you Hawkeye yeah check you could have been in the skies when that thing lit up yeah great would've been embarrassing hardest hardest track yeah we did the track the best gamer in the house Loret sonntag I'll give it a quick test run all right Lawrence it's time to trick your way to the track okay boy you show everybody you're not salty you should either you're the best gamer and you know it right trigger is pedal got it left trigger when he breaks all right oh yeah let's go he's not boosting do I need both legs relay to you it is it is boosting bait it easy let's remember you're the best gamer I am it's true top of your phone but part of being the best gamer is also taking the audience on a journey I gotta reverse here yeah all you need was encourage roll off the edge of this time that's it there's a rope where the hearts really turned a corner on that video I like him now helicopter doesn't have a helicopter not yet really okay so time to beat time to be honest here oh I spent all of the money on the office and I have no money turns out operating capital is a thing and I don't have any of it so here we are stealing used needles stronger than me so we gotta win Laurence is gonna get pissed if he loses this game he's never played before Lawrence values the victory of this game way too much I was trying to do it I will be the best to push me pull you player of the world you got it bro just enjoying a good game well spent with good friends he wasn't saying that if he was losing know speaking of [ __ ] rings I used to pitch in cellos and they get subjected something called hair ring which is that a bunch of hair gets packed up in the foreskin around their little penises and then it gets like intertwined to the point that it starts like choking their dick and it can actually kill them because it restricts so much blood flow so occasionally make sure it's all clean please [ __ ] my wife yeah dude you know I'll do okay the Howard Stern thing I will [ __ ] her from beyond through someone threw the subwoofer yeah so I'm at least do it [Applause] just just make sure your wife straddles no because if a police if he waits to around you idiot now you can use the Condor to touch electric things dissident can electracy you've done this before you don't put a condom over your penis come on we've all been there no fingers yeah bear girls have incest but whatever that's cool too you guys ever put on a condom and then you soften up but you just leave the condom on wait you got to shake off all the mom mom push juice oh no I mean it it's true though I know you're right you don't want that stuff to crust up people are gonna know what your mom's probably a GPS is what you think we should be looking no you got a script you got a scribble a map down on it you got to find a piece of paper and chart the charcoal Oh Lawrence is a genius a lot of point clicks where the reward is poorly pixelated sex scenes can you guys imagine a demon even sexier than your mom no you can't where's Lawrence I like that's making water noise this guy's worth interesting what a booth all right I got this I consult live wait who was it which parts that was really well done ninja like that was great you know she was flush man who's flush man he was flush man lives in the water no he's not that flush man maybe if the radar took the radar that sounds like a terrible superhero he might be in a suit I only have 10 health so I can't take a shot yeah hey you guys made a suit made a black suit man black hair [Applause] rhymin where is it going I don't know I'm stuck in running oh I thought you were gonna knock me off oh we don't have to get out okay sorry to help I just sit here now and do no [ __ ] I [ __ ] you there's literally nothing I could do with this scenario Elliot's hair is all over you I didn't know both people know Dave you're doing great know what you know you're doing great why are you in a semi-truck what Bruce get way up what is it I'm sleeping how do we want to sink this one two three doing on three sorry dude sit down so down on the sec okay ready ready 1 2 3 the joke of course II just want you to 142 when I was 13 I was denied candy by my neighbor [ __ ] that lady I agree with you sir I would never deny anyone any candy unless they were over the age of I don't know 31 are you spinning while doing their game fire game wink wink what lazeric oh you could a fair game plate this is licking so jealous creatures oh yeah your tongue I mean I've done the helicopter spins and that's it feels funny and I laugh I guess you kind of are a hero god no oh oh god it's clean your ears out uh-oh you've been a sniper mode I've an ear scoopin for a decade and I've never heard better hey Lawrence oh he's just ignoring me because I'm a woman hey Lawrence no what's up dude hey good job Lawrence the dumbest jacket and looks like Bill Cosby okay here we go oh man there's an X male XML I'm gonna kick you out of every [ __ ] game from now on Jesus Christ he was out of his car just throwing ball he's a [ __ ] I hope it was worth it now that you're good not gonna do anything constructive with your life all you do is ruin what other people make children he sit there and laugh at them and like like they're studying and he just goes in like whites all their notes off the desk you like you don't get to pass your test because I'm bored oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] that was pretty good though thank you it's fun to play video games yeah I mean it's probably better to like give life I mean usually no yeah yeah yeah good no I hope he has kids so there's somebody draining his money every all eighteen years imagine running so fast you become Asian my gimmick is gonna be that I move in a way that's conducive towards CG so much like much like Pirates of your it's a lot of this aha a lot of motioning around a lot of waiting for people to come by me and look at me as I'm doing my little thing it's why you're an animatronic pirate no oh I just on a boat okay be that steamed and has music playing while people come by on little logs Sparrow don't shoot don't punch him dude I gotta freeze dirtbag you son of a [ __ ] we're [ __ ] are you kidding real games for real gamers my new favorite funhouse show but thumper immediately after watching this video thanks Lawrence you're welcome I proved it don't want to throw out the word hero so fun fact that was actually that predated the real games true gamer series even though you can kind of see the formulating ideas in that you gotta see just some real pros a real games there's a spike there my gosh yeah my spikes I told you I'm pushing it I was pushing it there dad told you there's not time enough to push go go wrap myself down with raw steak right on the bed surely the rest of our Avenger team will be here soon [ __ ] I hope so faithful human compete for y'all I got a blues or not wait what a human I'm learning to be human like you and you don't need to sound like a robot I am NOT robot this is how we speak as well call it for as you can just recall it I would ask you to respect our customs whoa that's that's Lawrence nay more exciting hey everybody your ride will be about 15 minutes I need some water I'm drying out the flattens hairs to dry attendant average service free diet coke and water you have salt water do our best to get you there safely and quickly Mike I need salt water I need to splash it on my gills make sure I come I can't shoot our own students somebody clogged the toilet it wasn't me I still need that salt water please like Widow yet again I am stunned by your curvacious beauty you remind me of the beluga whale a dick and balls bold is different than a vaginal bulge longer races us Thank You scientists guilty this is a trick racist and tricks you'll figure it out let's call race to the top you gotta be tricky tree are you okay oh two laps yeah all right once you get the tricks the warrants if we were to measure Joey's [ __ ] what the most bulgy vagina you would go for it oh my so let's say I don't know there's an upper bound on that bruise looks like yeah what's neat I enjoy me a good pooch I'm saying the hot tip you got a in or low so so you it's like that that's stupid you go in low scrape up I how you doing roll about leverage raping yeah that's always a good term rape in our open love to a woman lover you are raping scraping and coarser baby I'm scraping up your course bits your numerous course [ __ ] train this video to the phone house one really makes me appreciate how Achievement Hunter edits our videos this is from Achievement Hunter side I saying very rarely do they cut any footage so you get to see all the action plus they didn't cover the game map with a player cam like funhouse did um two parts for different channels we do a different style of editing that's what we're trying to has better though sure whatever also well the thing I discovered I've looked at our analytics we skew older so chances are you're in the 13 to 50 remain age range little baby and so you probably that you probably like you would probably have more time our audience is older usually it's a baby to get as many people jobs and they don't have 40 minutes watching video so they can come see our side and see our version really long you know long video Laurens is a dick alright I gotta go do adult stuff we solve the truck to still on there [Laughter] not to me nothing oh no no wait is Tom dead no it sounds good already one two three Oh kill themself yes Tana oh damn it chickens on the move Bock Bock yeah Lawrence chicken my gamer fuel god damn it crickets all the [ __ ] brakes [ __ ] [ __ ] and you kept [ __ ] saying it I would have won if you guys shut up Junior laying up leave it leave it there you go oh oh oh look at this this is safe Oh No today we mourn the loss of her idiot see ya alright here we go sweet moves CEO thanks Joe I know I hired you to be my CEO and check that out why incredible what happened I was I was floored by it stud then I lost control of the car [ __ ] come on your dream what are you doing Artesia [ __ ] off guess what plug sockets here we go there's the boys no wars are you [ __ ] loon the CFC it properly enjoyed this episode is represented by glass then you're actually a fast runner I'm DB short trivia well that's a if we got through one episode of talking stockings without an incident then I'd be surprised the real thing about talking stalking the thing that makes this podcast unique amongst all others is it the test it's a test to see who can last the whole race through a truce can you throw around the the stocking stockings back to the week oh yeah little known fact about sell stock is episode one I just farted how many people can the test be farting it exactly this time it se 101 of silk stockings let's emphasize I would say that women embrace the shield upon every family shot one panelists thank you otherwise this becomes a [ __ ] show go ahead Lawrence says the blue is the non-sexual shield and the orange is a warmth it's a humanity don't you have to go to a concert all right I'm gonna go ahead and interrupt here it seems like he's talking about something else entirely we're talking about Blazers oh yeah just just thought it was legs I'd read the comment while you do go Kenan Hansen raiga you can see the other horses balls through his pants oh whoa hey what's up they should've been waving that's a big work do too there we go what's going on I'm trying to get back to my apartment doing that you're on your way let's do it [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] how you were following along with a woman by colliding with her while you're late for your exams I mean that's the fantasy story I'll tell ourselves the truth is I fall in love with a woman months before there's a lot of planning and scouting a lot of timing writing in log books of comings and goings ah it's not easy it seems easy but it's not easy to round a corner and plow directly into a woman and then fall face-first on her chest ladies when a guy runs into you and accidentally gropes you oh he's a lot of man that is not appropriate I said oh no you run into a lady hashtag me to Lawrence um she was wearing like a tight shirt and her her desire was pretty clear we can dropped a bit this could be an empowering foot you know what i'ma say for all my joking I'm pretty proud of the fact that I've never masturbated in public plane engine what a challenge it must be to be a cool teacher in high school because then all the cool kids want to like talk to you and be your friend I went to school early ones because I wanted to ask him about how can one maintain free will and a society dominated by advertising when you inherit so many I was pretty cool wow you must have been like man I am never coming to school early ever again yeah I wore a trenchcoat school Jayne's I wish that you could take unlimited stabs at certain periods in your life because I think it'd be a fun challenge to try and take a teacher out on a proper date back to masturbating in public maybe not um I want to say a majority what anyway I never have all right I'm just saying monkeys jackoff all the time in public Oh our concept of public is just some arbitrary idea made by Procter gamble to sell you soap you won't go out with me I would never date someone I work with was enough for the douchebags those guys who were sitting here thinking about commercials why don't we have her get taste were the good this is your fault at least let's say I don't want to let's say you had a literature I do not want very super nice Phil your sick twisted hypothetical fantasies I'm recalling now that I made it through high school without going on a single date negative nine store in this comment also I wish you guys would do these challenges again but a little seriously we'd be fun to watch it wouldn't Oh shame because he said the thing he or she said the thing in there we go this is just something I'm casually wishing for and then everyone in the subreddit was like you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong so then Lars is like I should think I said you're wrong like a nice measure good oh great Messrs strike he was one week oh there's more guys coming out nice I think I'm good now you got more coming no no anyway there you go yeah that's good yeah oh you like it Creston wait worth it there it is yeah no no no let's go his wife's in the stands right now do you think she cares no she's a sauce her husband gets shattered in your face oh don't stick your finger in him he's dead Lawrence you don't need to keep punching with a stomach you do all the more reason to yeah rip his genitals off Lourdes hide the evidence get rid of the bodies that's a good idea oh yeah right what all right here we go what Oh slain overall I am the most casual normal dude Lawrence is great we're all good characters are changing I'm going got I got this I got this I got this okay Oh went through the wall okay huh safe food safe and sound guy in the blue suit is clear I mean the blue slate is clear pirates clear half-life pirate you know Bruce what you know what I hate what do you hate the law so we're gonna be okay Lawrence why don't you try your intro now you're playing lawbreakers yeah don't look I saw it though oh I have to leave show those thumbsticks reviews in there Lauren oh yeah I got them robot did you actually put that in your mouth that you want to play anymore oh yeah what he needs he needs a fat joint right my kids my Connor to build another fun part Serge I'm ready [Music] careful care mom he's trying to drink it to drop the surge it should be you gain 100 for a kill you lose 25 for a full sprint this helicopter though I have it already and it sucks oh it doesn't it's cool and it's blue and it's expensive what the [ __ ] why is this stupid [ __ ] security guard shooting at me oh boy I hear it I was trying to pick up my good buddy and my sweet helicopter [ __ ] now I got two stars yes hold on these [ __ ] knows that I'm in the helicopters Jameson oh this is what we could've been in oh wow sonship you're in the skies you'd be safe not with you how do you get your voices that high do you all have to check your balls at the door before playing scary games oh man my manly is due to the world I just I mean like greased himself up like a set down at his computer tab sure some [ __ ] what's up on the internet today and then we're gonna sell it off all at one time for ridiculous profits you guys excited about that yeah how much money can we make a lot for me baby I'm going on - this mission yet we finished with our new guys items a poor driver [ __ ] it I'm getting out oh oh the happy employee is a good employee well uh fired employees don't play at all that's give me the [ __ ] call that's a really good point I keep pointing there's no reason alright I'm gonna go get my helicopter that's me that's where I'm going right up there fire bulbs are coming Lords Oh attack helicopter attack helicopters coming for for you yeah where are you gotta make this count Laurence who's the Employee of the Month this time around all aren't you know who know how to pick I'm gonna give it to myself oh come on yeah geez hey try harder next time i I've seen something and I don't know if there's a name for it maybe a LESBIAN circus wheel anyway it's it's if many lesbians almost human centipede style would form a ring on the ground and all of them are eating each other out yeah what's that call all right do we who didn't work I'll show ya hop on the back hold on hold on I want to see Anzio I'm getting a job done oh did it if somebody says it's a dance pad or a DVR mat well absolutely a PDR machine the whole thing that like Lawrence likes to stomp on the floor a big metal handle is how much of those DVR machines oh well I don't want the history of DDR I just want to know how much they are you can be an idiot all right I buy a big ol or how much I don't know thousands of dollars you care so bad that's a bad repel lures couple hundred bucks and what are you set me up build one did you do this in dolls in your dad yelled at you oh yeah that's right yes and then he burned it that's a true story honestly I'm with your dad yeah that's a true story yeah anyway for our bucks and I'll treat your wipers all right good job the first tech in 1996 all over the controllers we only got the one [ __ ] [ __ ] I need people that'll get on the 5 o'clock news and tell everybody to [ __ ] off in the truck nuts that in the road sir alright somebody tweeted at me all right guys we're doing such a we're doing such a good job we did a really good job with my hundred twenty grand worth of inventory right now and it's only gonna get better you know that Bill Gates is worth ninety billion dollars how much you worth what yo Lauren Russian it uh liquid or at all assets oh who is this man come on Lourdes Oh sunroof no damn it ow what do you spool Lawrence and Joel hate well I think for this question was your right to Lawrence all right no it's what do you hate well I mean I hate I hate friends that will wait for everyone else but won't wait for you to come out of the [ __ ] bathroom what trope is each member and what are some flags I don't like this question I'm already getting so when you darest but also aroused at the same time thinking about his first my favorite questions are when they say go down the line of all of you and me funny my favorite ones are the ones where somebody has to me a question than everyone else answers first if you're a become we should probably just clear out we're gonna leave the room we're gonna be okay slick robbery asks is there a moment in your life you regret [ __ ] up and wish you could go back in time to handle that situation differently sure when I totaled my car and haven't been able to afford a new car since or maybe when my ex-wife left me open house is a little overwhelming I would go back in time and I would I regret handling the situation right till ask Lawrence if he wanted to buy my futon which caused him to get into his car to drive to my apartment and get into a car accident I also regret the time that I started Lawrence's webcam before he got out of the toilet that we started doing over Dallas before head she no else is here anymore nobody what do you mean I don't think he can fire missiles don't be so impressed with my my there honor right can you change turrets James Koepp errors cars back there the problem is we can't let ourselves be perceived as a small meek business that means spending a lot of money on aesthetics keeper hero all right let's go my favorite car now is my CEO just back it on up the stairs car wash yeah that's what I wanted to do too so we know James rides a motorcycle although I'm not sure what kind Honda Shadow and if you have questions I've noticed Laurence mentioned he was gonna grab his helmet true my question is what motorcycles I Drive a Honda Shadow it's cool driver - you ride you drive it my motorcycle also has two wheels yeah and a chain whoa and that's a goat Oh on a good day that's as you want it right yeah it's probably more efficient than Jake five speeds how many is yours one but I only need one I would replace one of the tires and then I got a I got a road flat that's hard to do those tires are real bacon yeah how many babies have been thick how many chicks have you had on the back oh they don't really fit back there it's uh it's it's too efficient Oh all right made for me it's like a sport bike yeah yeah thanks cool that is what's a sports more like what is your horn sound like oh it's me yelling really blanks from Peckham and I'm from Dagenham which is which is just a working-class poor places in but in Greater London near Agrabah right I like this comparing ex-girlfriends to British colonies though Lawrence you got any ex-girlfriend stories yeah we've all got our India don't we he got away because apparently it's illegal to keep them if they don't want to stay around well last night I I finished a game I've been playing for ten years so that's cool let me guess Jim's award no angry birds no tango no these are all great guesses by the way is it a Pokemon game also good guests know it was persona 4 well at least make a photo RPG it's a JRPG yeah see I could have even lied about the game and I didn't do that any of those would have been cooler than what I did the Pope of real gamers right and he's 75 percent of the clothes he's wearing [Laughter] those are Nintendo wait no your sucks those are at bet Santa why are you suck [Applause] you suck you wonder [Music] you shot and it was easy

Channel: JayHayz

Views: 409,308

Keywords: funhaus, funhaus lawrence, funhaus best of, funhaus best of lawrence, lawrence sonntag, best of lawrence sonntag, funhaus rooster teeth, rooster teeth, best of funhaus

Id: EaqPwGatlWw

Length: 69min 13sec (4153 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 30 2017