They say baseball is the ultimate American
pastime but we're pretty sure it's actually frozen pizza. We decided it's about time there is a ranking
acknowledging the gold stars and the no stars among all the infamous freezer section cheese
pies. Honestly, Celeste is so bad, it's almost painful
to talk about. The cheese, which the brand claims is 100
percent real, doesn’t taste real at all. It’s gooey, gross, and beyond strange. Their pizza is like a giant Bagel Bite that
really lost its way. Imagine what you would have in front of you
if you sent your 7-year-old into the kitchen to try and whip up a pizza from scratch with
the ingredients you have on hand. That's exactly what Celeste tastes like. Actually, your kid's pizza would probably
taste much better. We'd only recommend it if you're under duress
and have absolutely no other food options readily available. It’s just that bad. “How can you eat right now?” “Eating is the number one way people deal
with stress, okay?” No offense to Mama Celeste, who we're sure
was a very nice lady, but these pizzas definitely need an overhaul. Our expert samplers actually agreed that although
they would never eat this disastrous pizza again, they wouldn’t mind hurling it at
their opponent during a food fight. If you want to have fond memories of your
time as a middle school student, get yourself some Totino's Pizza Rolls. If you want a presentable, palatable frozen
pizza, keep on browsing and do not get the Totino's Party Pizza. We'd only recommend it if you're in a sticky
situation and it’s the only food you have available. “Did you grab anything when you walked out
the door?” “I grabbed nothing but two Totinos pizza
out of the ‘fridgerator and my doggy.” The Totino's sauce is too sugary, the cheese
is bleh, and the crust is flimsy but not in a good way. If you are a full grown adult and still find
Totino's appetizing, we are saddened to hear how few pizzas you have tried in your lifetime. The fact that Home Run Inn pizza has very
few ingredients is mind-boggling. It gives you high hopes because of its appearance,
but it doesn't deliver on taste across the board in terms of its sauce, cheese, and crust. Aside from the fact that the pie has the slight
stench of smelly feet prior to cooking, the real problem lies in the crust. It almost tasted as if it were gluten-free…
but it wasn't. If you are gluten-free, fine, but we all know
you're making some sacrifices in the pizza department. The cheese has a bit of a distinct stench
to it, but not in the good stinky cheese kind of way. Also worth noting, the cheese doesn't really
give you that satisfying stretch-away-from-the-slice sensation that most great pizzas are known
for. If you miss the taste of SpaghettiO's from
your youth, Trader Joe's pizza has the basic and bland sauce to bring you right back to
your childhood. This pizza is serviceable, but certainly not
sophisticated. The crust is decent, with a dusting of flour
on the bottom, which somehow makes it seem more official, but after a lot of fanfare,
we expected a lot more from the grocery chain. You definitely should plan to add some toppings
of your own if you want any sort of enjoyable frozen pizza experience. Remember when California Pizza Kitchen was
the It-Girl of pizzerias? Everyone dreamed of trekking to California
to enjoy the elusive, creatively topped pies, which is ironic since The Golden State is
much more well-known for its juice bars than its pizza joints. My how the mighty have fallen. CPK's frozen fare is pretty so-so. The cheese is okay, but the sauce is bland,
and the crust has those signature mass-produced holes on the bottom. It basically tastes like pizza on a cracker. “Some people think it’s kinda gross.” “I love gross.” In 2013, Nestlé issued a recall of four of
its CPK and DiGiorno frozen pizzas because customers were finding plastic fragments in
their food. “Nestle thinks it’s tracked down the source
to a spinach supplier, but no injuries were reported.” Recalls happen to even the most beloved of
brands, so we're not trying to knock them when they're down, but it doesn't do much
to garner more enthusiasm for the CPK crew. The in-restaurant experience was stellar in
CPK's heyday, but the frozen version of its namesake item is nothing special...unless
you like your pizza with a side of plastic. You want to love DiGiorno because it looks
so dang exquisite when you pull it out of the oven with its gleaming pepperoni and puffy
crust. Despite its claims to be on par with popular
pizza delivery chains it's not. The dough feels a bit mushy in the center
and the crust on the ends is so salty, it borderline tastes like pretzel bread. Look, we've got no problem with pretzel bread,
but there is a time and place for it and it's not when you're eating pizza. The sauce is way too sweet and there's too
much of it. The bread and sauce are excessive, but you
know what's not? The cheese. There's barely any of it, which is straight
up criminal in the frozen pizza world. Also, while the box claims that the crust
has no preservatives, there were definitely a multitude of hard-to-pronounce words on
the ingredient list. Stouffer's Pepperoni French Bread Pizzas are
something of a classic. They've been around for as long as we can
remember and are a solid option if you need that frozen pizza down your gullet so quick,
you're willing to microwave it. Perhaps if we were living in the year 3,000,
we could pop it into one of those fancy hydraters from Back to the Future Part 2. “Hydrate level four please.” But since we’re stuck here in the present,
a conventional oven is best if you have a few extra minutes to spare. The pepperoni has a very distinct flavor,
but the bread could be better. The cheese is pretty standard. It's really a middle of the road kind of pizza
that we're ambivalent about, meaning it's certainly not the most horrible option on
the market, but you could also do a lot better. If it's just you and your TV, and you need
something quick, easy and perhaps not as shame inducing as a large round pizza that would
normally be shared among a gathering of more than one human, the Stouffer's French Bread
Pizzas might be your jam. Screamin' Sicilian pizzas haven't been on
the scene very long, but they’re part of Palmero's, a longstanding pizza maker. You want the Screamin' Sicilian frozen pizza
to be good because the box is so intriguing, but it's nothing to scream home about. The sauce is pretty mediocre and the crust
leaves a lot to be desired and seems very mass produced. It tastes exactly like what you picture a
frozen pizza to taste like, sort of boring and predictable. The cheese is a selling point though, as their
pizzas that include Romano, mozzarella, Parmesan, and white cheddar cheese on top. Again, this one isn't a terrible pizza brand,
but it's not necessarily the bread, sauce, and cheese that dreams are made of. We're really sick of Red Baron getting a bad
rap. Considering its exceptionally low price tag,
it's delicious and deserves some praise for keeping families full and satisfied for so
many years. The Classic Crust is thin and buttery with
cheese sprinkled all over like a work of art. Don't like thin crust? This OG frozen pizza has a variety of different
choices, including their hand-tossed pizzas with a fluffy crust. Everyone in the household can have their bread
with tomato sauce and cheese needs met accordingly. Red Baron is committed to the pizza game in
a very real way. And we already know that haters are gonna
hate. “They hate us ‘cause they ain’t us!” “That’s not what it is!” “Yes, it is!” “No, it’s not.” Some people think you have to be under the
influence of a mind-altering substance to seriously consider consuming one of these
pizzas. But for our money, it’s a drunk pizza craver's
dream delicacy. This might sound strange in a ranking of a
frozen food product but, the frozen pie from Amy's Kitchen somehow tastes really, really
fresh. The crust is just the right combination of
sweet and savory, and the sauce is unique with a real made-from-scratch quality. In terms of all-star ingredients, the sauce,
mozzarella, and basil on Amy's Margherita Pizza in particular are a real showstopper. If you are counting calories and want to indulge,
a serving of Amy's pizza is usually pretty low in calories. There are also plenty of gluten-free options
that would please even the biggest pizza snob. Even further, there are gluten-free, vegan
pies. If Olive Garden was a pizza, it would be Safeway's
Signature Select. While the crust is very good, it's heavy on
the bread. And the sauce has a distinct marinara vibe. It tastes like dipping cheesy breadsticks
in marinara sauce, which is pretty dope if you ask us. But there may be folks out there not looking
for that much dough in their crust. The cheese is fantastic on this pie and seems
to melt really well, if that's even a thing. If you aren't in an area with Safeway or other
affiliated grocery chains that carry the Signature Select brand, you might be missing out, unless
you strongly prefer a thin-crust pizza. Tombstone is a frozen pizza icon and rightfully
so. The infamous greasy pies have a spicy, smokey
flavor all their own. Is it the pepperoni? Is it the sauce? Perhaps it's the magic they make when they're
all baked together. The crust tastes like what would happen if
you took a loaf of white bread, mushed it together, hammered it into a flat circle and
toasted it — and we're totally on board with that. Named after a bar that was near a graveyard
in Wisconsin, Tombstone has been around since 1962 and seems to be aging very well. The no-fuss packaging is also a bonus. Who wants to mess with a cardboard box when
they're hungry for pizza? We don’t! Minimal packaging also makes it easier to
stack more in your freezer, and more pizza is always a good thing. Having a ranking of frozen pizza and not giving
Tombstone a high status position on the list is basically equivalent to pizza treason. Freschetta pizzas are hearty and delicious. The doughy crust reminds you of a crusty loaf
of sourdough bread and offers just the right amount of thickness on the edge. The sauce and pepperoni all score high on
the delish-o-meter, and the cheese does not disappoint or overwhelm. Freschetta really surprises you because you
think it's going to be stereotypical frozen pizza, but it's absolutely delightful. In fact, the brand is known for its amazing
crust. What's the secret? According to the Freschetta website, they
make their Naturally Rising Crust Pizza with real yeast. The result is a crust that rises in your oven
and fills your entire house with the delicious aroma of fresh baked bread. The only thing better than pizza is fresh
baked bread, so give us a slice of Freschetta, pronto. The Newman's Own line of frozen pizzas are
about as legit as it gets. Their pizza motto is "In crust we trust,"
and the tasty, thin multigrain crust is bursting with flavor and has the kind of texture you’d
expect from an impeccably made pizza. The sauce is perfectly seasoned with just
the right amount of spice, and the cheese-to-sauce ratio is so on point. They've really got a distinct flare that makes
you want to come back and try every flavor. Plus, they taste delicious. “This is very excellent. Never knew pizza was so good when it was hot.” This competition isn't really about your macro
counting diet, but if you do want to feel slightly less gross about your decision to
eat frozen pizza, Newman's Own pies have zero trans fat and no preservatives. Also, since Paul Newman was already pretty
dang rich in his own right, his food and beverage empire has gone above and beyond to help those
in need. “Newman’s Own donates 100% of its profits
to charity, giving away more than $400 milion since 1982.” So, obviously, you can attribute your pizza
obsession to your generous charitable heart when you buy this brand of frozen pizza. Check out one of our newest videos right here! Plus, even more Mashed videos about your favorite
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