From Islam to Atheism Then Back to Islam

welcome back to the D show special guest Sheikh Mustafa so I'm Lea competing with you how are the lamb excellent how are you now you are good humble uh you weren't always in a position where you're at you're actually educating people teaching people the purpose of life inviting people to have a relationship with the one who created creation but you were actually fighting against it as an atheist but you are Muslim first so you are Muslim carrying Behati the books of ahadees on your back and then you took a philosophy class and my story takes off from there let's go back it up now let's let's talk from the beginning a little bit give us some highlights how it all started yes I mean I grew up in a Muslim family you can say not very practicing a little bit more cultural than Muslim we kind of went for you know Friday prayers sometimes we fasted Ramadan but that's pretty much it so didn't really have that many Islamic teachings went to Sunday school didn't pay attention didn't really understand what was going on there no one was really interested in that so I kind of grew up that way Islam was just something like as part of a culture we didn't understand what was going on and then in my junior year of high school we took a trip to Mecca and we went for the Umrah the the minor pilgrimage and that was just seeing a different world for me that just changed things completely so there I go into a bookstore and I'm seeing the Kaaba I'm seeing you know Makkah the people there hearing the other on the call to prayer on a regular basis motions there's a lot of emotions there it's like just a different Society never seen anything like this in my life you know and I've traveled a lot and walk into a bookstore and they got actually like you know I see Islamic books for the first time in my life I see translations of hadith the statements of the Prophet peace be upon him I see translations of the Quran and I was like you know what I can investigate this I can you know learn more about this so I buy a translation of the Quran I buy a Suhail body you know a collection of sayings of the Prophet peace be upon him nine volumes carry it back with me on the airplane I say you know I'm going to try to learn about this religion of mine I'm going to going to find out if it's the truth or not so I come back I start reading and I start you know appreciating Islam so you know I'm going to find this out find out I'm my own what is Islam what is this thing that I was raised on supposedly what is this all supposed to mean and I started becoming more interested in I say this seems like it's the truth I start comparing what I know about Hinduism I see you know I can't worship a statue you know something like that I heard thing about Christianity I can't believe that you know like a man is going to be God Judaism that's I don't have the right blood in me you know so these things don't work for me I say Islam is the thing that kind of makes sense you know if we're going to believe in God that's like the the religion which I can consider so I start getting more and more you know learning about Islam on my own reading the Quran reading these books of hadith and I start to have like a appreciation for Islam did you have a teacher did you have someone giving you some direction so that was the issue so I did not have a teacher and the one of the reasons why I didn't have a teacher is you know everyone I had met they seem to be very more cultural than Islamic or Muslim so I don't know who to go to for for knowledge I go to the mosque I hear the sermon it seems like very emotional person has a very thick accent I'm really not interested in this I'm gonna figure this all out all on my own no direction no direction I'm gonna read the text whatever I think the text means doesn't matter what they're saying in the book that's what the way I'm gonna take a call from family or how much directions you get from Papa mama see the thing is you know they may say a few things here and there but it's all mixed with Islam and culture mixed not a culture a lot of culture and I'm very I'm not into culture because for me it's like you know I if I don't understand why this is happening I don't want to follow something blindly how was your basic understanding let's say the the pure monotheism some totally the fundamental belief system how was that you know I I probably understood that there's one God that was pretty clear but anything beyond that adds attributes and you know even though even the idea of you know belief in angels and things which are unseen so the fundamental the core was not they're not really there so I'm reading these books and I'm getting interested I'm learning more and I'm thinking hey this is uh it seems to make sense I start you know I start questioning a lot of things so I said you know let me start praying kind I think we don't I know we should pray but it doesn't make sense to pray in Arabic I don't even know what I'm saying you know and even if I read what I'm saying the translation I tried doing Arabic and then translating in English I'm like this is distracting me let me just start praying in English so I just started praying in English seems like it's not a bad idea seems like a good idea according to your logic yeah I say at least at least you know for me maybe it was a little bit arrogant at the time but at least I understand what I'm saying and all the people around me made my parents my friends family they're saying all these formulas but they don't even know what they're saying right many of them don't even bother to read the translation so I feel like hey at least I'm connecting with God on a deeper level so I know what I'm saying so I'm doing this I'm praying in English I'm kind of praying while I'm driving if I'm getting late somewhere it's better than you know God should except for me at least I'm doing better than what I was doing before so I'm kind of you know feeling good about this kind of having some you know positive healthy pride in Islam start discussing debating with my friends come on you guys got to believe in God look at the Quran this is you know it's a miracle start chart getting very very happy about you know being a Muslim and that's when you know I started you know almost got to a point where I saw some things within hadith that I was reading and I got and I said you know what some of these hadees seem just very strange they don't seem to make sense to me they don't they don't seem to be as like rational as I was seeing in the Quran so I got to a point where I came across a website called like the submitters or something like that they basically said we don't need to accept these hadees hadees has all this weird stuff going on just remove this hadith just go with the Quran only so I basically got into that movement or that group and intellectually on online and I just said you know let's just focus on the Quran some hadith are nice but some are weird so I don't understand them really it's going to stick to the Quran what happened was I go to college get accepted to UC Irvine decide to take a class on philosophy walk into that class on philosophy and the professor starts talking about you know how people believe in so many strange things today you know you guys grew up believing in the tooth fairy you grew up believing in Santa Claus your parents had tricked you about these things and I'm like yeah that's true man my parents you know I remember the truth Fairey I was pretty a tricked into believing in the Santa Claus for a while Halloween all that stuff and then he said how many of you still believe in that and everyone's like come on we don't believe in that and then he threw the bomb and he goes how many of you still believe in God and that's where I was just like you know do I raise my hand why not raise my so does anybody raising their hand at this moment nobody raises their hand except one guy who was the weird Christian missionary guy who like everyone hated he's just like he seems like mentally deficient or something like that you know so something's wrong with this guy so I raised my hand I'm like look I believe in God and just me and him and no one else in the class and I just that was just like a moment for me I'm like am I like this guy is it might be only one like what's the pressures on really the pressures are sweating really I'm thinking what what have I been raised on you know I thought that everyone believes in God I grew up believing like this and that just questioned my faith and it just it just it just changed my entire perception and everything just went downhill from there I became super skeptical and I got to a point from agnosticism not knowing if there's God to basically sliding down into atheism and saying you know what God doesn't exist all this religion is man-made it's all you know it's it's all just hodgepodge it's something of the past we need to get away from it we got a Muslim who left Islam and this is a very sad situation I'm sure many have been affected by this you actually went through it the story doesn't stop there we got more when we come back don't go anywhere Salaam says love all mankind that's why we're sharing this message because we want the best for you and we want the best for all mankind subscribe right now and enjoy all of the content that we're going to be putting out for you thank you peace be with you so I'm like back here on the D show Muslim leaves Islam I don't see your heads off yet yeah nobody didn't come with a machete looking for you no they did not okay because uh now a lot of people they try to use this now that okay you obviously how did your family did they know now that you had turned away from you no I didn't tell I didn't tell them openly but I told them that you know what I'm not interested in praying I'm not interested in going to the mosque don't even ask me to go on Friday anymore it's obvious it's pretty obvious that this this guy is far from the from the religion yeah now what happens okay that's the moment you go in when you're carrying Behati you know the hadith on your back but I asked you how was really your core understanding was kind of very weak tanned have a bright teacher you walk into this philosophy class you come in you know to a gun fight with you know a pencil yeah and and what what after that you left the class really just disenfranchised you're lost now lost your faith is questioned and everything is going out the window yep and then I started you know then that that's when I kind of you know got into a group of friends where I probably wouldn't have considered them when I was Muslims I started getting into this group of friends that are telling me you know go let's go to nightclubs let's go to raves let's just party let's have fun that seems fun huh it's it seems fun at the time he opens up now that's it that every now you know other the shackles are coming off and you know when you're a freshman in college it's like you just dying to get out of you know the the confines of your home your parents have always been kind of holding you back saying it's for your own good now now I mean the dorms in college now I have you know some level of freedom even though my parents are trying to you know spy on me from time to time is this guy you know is he crazy is he doing drugs what's going on so I start having fun and I get I get or suppose it fun you know and I get into the wrong group start going to these clubs start going to raves and kind of strange you know like I'm not really believing but I have like these I kind of sometimes I feel like you know should I should I consider praying should I not consider praying there's still some doubts going on there's there's there's doubts about not being Muslim as well like the way that there were doubts about being Muslim so I'm kind of going in down this road and I get into street racing with with the cars basically so that's the furious kind of like fast and furious basically inspired by all these movies inspired by what was going around in my area so I get with this group and we start street racing and we just it's it's a very dangerous thing I in retrospect I tell people you don't realize what you're doing you know one one mistake you you know pedestrian walking down the street you could just hit someone kill someone and you don't even feel it's like a video game almost in front of you you know so I start street racing and that's going on for a while and one day I just get really upset with my parents I get upset with just everything I'm upset with life I'm upset with the world and I lost a lot of money that my parents had given me in the stock market that day it was a Friday the stock market crashes I lose a ton of money I'm stressed out I'm mad at my parents I got my juicer you're kind of a spoiled rich kid kind of a spoiled rich kid that's just the reality you know I'm driving a Lexus is 300 the same month that it came out you know it was a big deal when it came out so that's pretty much what's happening so I'm really upset and I decide I'm running away from home I've had it now I need my absolute freedom I don't even want to come home on the weekends anymore I'm out of here so I get my stuff I have money in my bank account so my parents had given me everything's ready ready to go jump in the car run away from home never coming back again on my way I'm driving from Orange County down to San Diego it's kind of a windy road all of a sudden Nissan 300zx pulls up twin turbo tries to race me and I'm in a bad mood I'm really upset listening to rock music just you know fueling more anger and I decide you know what that's it man I'm going to race this guy so we race and we're going really really fast and my car spins out of control literally does a u-turn on the freeway at a very very fast speed we'll just leave it at that and for car accident five car accident something like that I don't get injured the car is totaled I walk out perfectly fine people start telling me that you know what God saved you for a reason like yeah God whatever you know so I started thinking about it in the back of my mind and then when the police came to me and so you know what you going to jail that's when I started just freaking out all my pleasures are going to be on all my enjoyment all my fun it's all going to be done what do I do so I start thinking you know what maybe it's time to make some change in my life maybe I need to take life a little bit more seriously so my friends come back to me it's like come on let's go let's just go to the raves man just come back don't worry don't let one car accident you know get you down we're gonna go back into the same lifestyle that we you can always count on those uh good friends right exactly exactly you know so there's that that whispering coming you know they're trying to come to my room and everything and I just decide I don't want to see you guys I just need to figure things out for myself what's going on and that's when I decided you know what after a while of struggling I said you know what there's no one else to turn to so when you have no one else to turn to and you don't even know what to do that's when I started praying and I say you know what god I don't know if you exist I don't even know if I really believe in you or not but if you exist show me that you exist and show me show me why I'm here if there's a purpose in life show me that purpose and before I had asked that probably before but I never put any effort into it so this time what was different is there's more sincerity because I'm saying and I'm going to put the effort in to find you so I'm going to search I don't know where to search I don't know what to do but I'm going to put in my effort you send me something you throw me a little something so I can you know I can find you so that's when I started saying you know I don't want to do this I'm not playing anymore I'm going to be serious about life until I try to figure this out I started going to the library I start reading books on philosophy to overcome some of the things that I learn in philosophy class and reading books on Islam reading books on Christianity I started reading different religions reading more in detail about Islam reading about philosophy and reading all that kind of you know help me start to address some of the questions I used to have but I never got good answers but how is your heart at this moment it's different than it was before because you have a desire to want to know yes instead of covering the truth exactly you're open I'm open now and and now I'm focusing because you know it's not about the worldly pleasures anymore now it's not about you know I'm not gonna sit there and say all read one line off that doesn't make sense I'm just gonna go go go to a raven just you know nothing just just just get rid of it that's the difference you know so now the difference is I'm not gonna waste my time I'm gonna give as much as I can in my life to focus on what what needs to get done and you had read some of the top atheist books yes honey well where was your atheist now I mean it was seemed like it was abandon you was it yes I mean so what had happened I bought a book about you know critiques of God the strongest arguments against God and long time ago I had bought it and I'm like I can re I can respond to all this I'm like okay let me go when I was when I was still a Muslim I'm like you know what I'm gonna show them that all this is wrong and when I was reading it oh man this sounds very intellectual and very rational I go to the mosque for Friday prayer the guy seems very emotional he seems to be getting upset I said you know this seems like it I don't I don't have any response to it right now I still got that book on my shelf but now I'm not just comparing these things for 10 minutes and then going and having fun now I'm going to sit all day with this book and I'm going to go all day and I'm a look at what Islam says if there's any answers about it I'm really gonna sit there and reflect I'm gonna you know keep on asking God for guidance and that makes a world of difference when you put some real effort into it and you have real like sincerity and desire to actually invest time and effort into it that's I think what really really you know helped me that's how that's how God helped me was that the innate nature you know about that Oxford study with the 52 plus the anthropology department in Oxford I did a study saying that innate that belief is innate innate within people yes yeah what was so was it coming out now it was the god hot spot in your brain was that now coming out in it from your heart from your consciousness exactly what happens it was covered up and it gets covered up by our desires by our pleasures and just running after these things now that I'm like you know what this is not my number one priority in life I'm not going to run after you just go and eating in fancy restaurants and just going to go do and have fun and all that now some of these layers start coming up say I'm willing to be open now now I'm really going to go and analyze and that that natural disposition starts coming back this is a really really interesting they've actually done documentaries of Muslims suppose the Muslims who leaving Islam and they're kind of insane struggles so I'm sure you know those who are sincere they also can truly benefit because you were there and now the story is not over we got more to share Hannity show don't go anywhere salam says love all mankind that's why we're sharing this message because we want the best for you and we want the best for all mankind subscribe right now and enjoy all of the content that we're going to be putting out for you thank you peace be with you so I'm like back here on the D show with Mustafa Sheikh Mustafa now do we see this happening more and more that because you're born in a family you don't have that proper direction good examples from let's say from your family teaching you properly and you don't have that guidance from a young age and now you end up kind of drifting off the whole world opens up you can start going to the raves to the nightclubs culture a lot of culture strange things associated with slum they have nothing to do with Islam and now you have people leaving all right it's very common it's very very common and I encounter it on a regular basis on a regular basis so like you know it's not that I'm alone almost everywhere I go I see people who literally that's exactly how I was and I see them asking the same kind of questions and some of them are interested in having a further discussion and others they just they just go away from it so you know I can see them going down the same path and I don't know if someone had asked me back in the day that you know what hey why don't you have a conversation or some of that I might have ran away as well I don't know what would happen to me so I I can relate I can relate to people and I can almost see exactly what they're going through I'm not the only one who who went through this but now you came back not just an average Muslim I mean you went you the journey actually an imam at a mosque in yes spiritual leader you you run the College of Islamic studies I mean how can someone before they get in a train wreck car wreck maybe diet and after party yeah who knows because def is a reality and come at any time before they go through all this drama now maybe end up no no where you actually you ended up somewhere you know figuring out the purpose of life why you've been created you know on a path of goodness how can someone what let's derive some good from this story yeah people don't make the same mistake yeah they can avoid all those uh you know pitfalls yeah I mean I I tell people you know when I tell them my story you know I don't share that often but when I tell them my story they almost some people come up to me and they say you know I wish I had a similar story so that I could change I said no this you don't want this story you don't want a near-death experience you know because you might actually die before you change and you don't need to have an experience like this you don't need to get into a car accident to change this is a wait you know some people they have this and they don't change many people go through something similar and they just go right back into the same life that they went into so there's no guarantee and you don't need this type of experience to change if you have a willingness you have a sincerity you have a desire that you know what you you want it you want to look into this more seriously you realize that you know what it's worth just investigating and finding out you know what the truth is why we've been created in the first place so that you can figure out that you know what if there's an afterlife if God is going to hold us accountable if this is really a test what can I do to prepare for that test to make sure that I pass it you know so people can wake up without these experiences and what my advice to them would basically be is take life a little bit more seriously you know there's a lot of distractions there's a lot of fun and games there's going to be those friends who come they try to grab you and say come on let's just go have fun you know you start you attend the class you maybe you at you you benefit from a Friday sermon you watch a YouTube video and you're kind of like yeah you know I'm gonna I'm gonna focus on this I'm going to be interested in this and then all of a sudden some of us go forget all that let's just go watch a movie and you just forget all of it this is this is something that we should be careful about we really really need to reflect upon yet what can we do how can we change ourselves and the first step in changing yourself is with knowledge actually learning properly or what is the religion of Islam what is the ultimate meaning behind these things what is the meaning behind these rituals why are we doing these things and go beyond all that and not get caught up into all these small things over what if someone says look you had the knowledge you had bohot ebooks on your back and you still left what do you say the thing is there was no foundation and the key is to have a good Islamic foundation because what a foundation does it basically it contextualizes everything I got body books in front of me but I don't know how to interpret these statements that are in there I don't even know exactly who Behati is I don't know when he wrote this book I don't know how we know that the Prophet peace be upon him actually said these things so I just heard this is authentic but I don't have a deep found I don't know how to interpret the Quran if I read it I don't understand you know what does this pronoun refer to us it doesn't refer to something else who's just talking about I it talks about you know the Battle of Butler it says when the incident happened at Butler what is mother mother if you don't have a context you don't know any of these things right so it's very important to have a context and have a very wide understanding like an overview of what Islam is so you everything you read it kind of fits into like a puzzle and you see the entire thing in front of you with that context you understand Islam properly what if someone says we have a theist same situation maybe his friend got him to watch and he says come on all you religious people I got my Christian friend he said you know he's to drink do drugs very party same thing but he saw Jesus in a dream now all right and he's a born-again what's the difference like the difference is that you need you know people say well I had some personal experience or something that that could be a true experience it can be a false experience but there's got to be a way if there is a God and if you know if there's a real purpose in life there's got to be an objective way of us being able to figure out what the truth is and my response name would be you look around the world you look at your own body you look at everything out there and you say you know what who created all these things you start from the idea that there's a creator you start from the idea that all of this didn't happen by random chance the probability of it coming together and it happening is not very is not very strong at all it's it's you really got to have a leap of faith to believe in something like that that all of this is just a product of chance once you establish belief in the creator and that there is a God now you need to learn about that God learn something about him and that's when you go and you look at the different scriptures look at the different religions and look at the core of what are these religions actually teaching and when you come to Islam you're going to find that it has that pristine message it has that message which basically says that there's only one God you should worship that one God and that God when he created people he didn't just leave them in darkness to just kind of figure out things on their own have fun maybe some of them will take it seriously and he didn't leave it up to people to kind of wait to have some kind of spiritual experience where they're gonna you know figure out on their own okay this is what God wants me to do or communicating directly he sent us guidance and the guidance is in people who received revelation we can objectively evaluate that revelation read the Quran see if this makes sense do the teachings make sense we can read a life of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him we can see if he did he have an ulterior motive could he have been a liar does he look like someone who would have made up something like this and undergo all the difficulties that he's coming with so when we use our minds we use our intellects and our hearts are also you know open to this we will arrive at the reality in the conclusion that you know what this is something that makes sense and that's really what a lot of people say when they when they when they look at Islam they come from other religions other backgrounds and they're like none of this really made sense when you study Islam in a proper way within this proper context the thing that people always say it just makes sense it just makes sense makes it just makes sense and tell us we're out of time in short I've really benefited from the college of Islamic studies tell us a little bit in short about this and how people can go ahead this is a great place to start also now yes so at the college of Islamic studies is really it's a program where people can attend live or they can actually take classes online and this is designed we have 18 or 19 different classes it's designed to give you that foundation in Islam so that you don't get lost like I did so that you understand what the context is and it prioritizes what Islamic studies are many people they just pick up the Quran start reading or they pick up a hadith book start reading but they don't have any context behind that and it's very important to have a context you know beyond all that so I would recommend everyone check out our website which is College Islam calm you can enroll in classes you can enroll online anywhere you are any any place around the world we have students in different countries around the world I recommend that people at least try a class and I guarantee you that you're going to benefit and you're going to see Islam in a different light beautiful thank you so much thank you and I'll make one just Oklahoma glad I can mess it up please be real our peace be with you as well Salam says love all mankind that's why we're sharing this message because we want the best for you and we want the best for all mankind we'll see you next time God willing on the Deen show continue to an any piece Li aunty use please 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Channel: Digital Mimbar

Views: 110,085

Keywords: islam, muslim, muslims, islamic, quran, koran, allah, muhammad, mohammed, mohamed, prophet, hadith, sunnah, shaykh, imam, lecture, khutbah, khutba, ramadan, bilal philips, sufi, salafi, hanafi, hijab, nasheed, nashid, almaghrib, dars, halaqa, bayan, convert, revert, shahada, dawah, da'wah, maher zain, sami yusuf, atheism, science, atheist, qur'an, recitation, surah, afasy, religion, religious, deen, madhhab, shia, sunni, Muslim left Islam, Atheism, left Islam, thedeenshow, deenshow, TheDeenShowTV, eddie

Id: XNOgptps5aY

Length: 27min 14sec (1634 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 22 2016