Friend Sets Me On A Blind Date With My 'EX-Girlfriend' After I Dumped Her Three Times Already

cast me 25 male joe 26 male jane 24 female to give you a little background to this situation i met jane through joe's girlfriend at her birthday party last year at first jane was fun to talk to but not even an hour later jane was really into me and tried really badly to hit on me during the party which pretty much ruined my time there as the feeling was not mutual in the slightest bit also at the time i was already with someone so the first impression i got from jane was that she was clingy annoying and just wouldn't stop bothering me unfortunately for me she became part of my larger friend group because she's part of joe's girlfriend's friend group that is a mouthful sheesh and because me and joe hang out a lot and i'm also friends with his girlfriend i pretty much run into her at minimum twice a month so first time jane asked me out was a month after the party i informed her i was with someone and not interested she tried again two months later when i broke up with my then girlfriend again i declined her advances and told her i was not interested i got into a new relationship not long after but unfortunately she and i broke up about two months ago since then as you might have anticipated jane has asked me out again i said no again well that brings us to this week everything has been opening up here and joe had been trying to fix me up with a friend of his girlfriend and would not tell me who he is well aware of me having rejected jane multiple times and the fact i am not interested in her he knows this in detail after a lot of what he calls convincing and i call whining i had no interest in dating anytime soon i've relented and decided to agree to this double date idea of his we agree on meeting at joe's apartment and lo and behold joe his girlfriend and jane are occupying the dinner table obviously intending for my date to be jane i honestly just got so angry that i couldn't even get out a single word turned around and left i've been bombarded with texts and calls about how much of an idiot i am and how terribly i hurt jane and so on and i'm just like i literally rejected her three times i am not interested in her you knew that your girlfriend knew that our entire friend group has a running joke about obsessive jane for god's sake so literally everyone knows it our bio parents died when we were about one year old we went into foster care for a few months then my parents adopted me he was adopted a few years later by his parents too my parents never told me i had a brother and not only never attempted for us to spend time together but they declined when his parents came forward and wanted my parents to let us get to know each other when we were kids and my parents picked a new name for me i never knew any of this until last year when he approached me parents denied at first but eventually admitted to everything since then we've been getting to know each other and getting close since global issue hit i've been spending a lot of time with him and we've been bonding very well he has two moms who are great too they're very nice to him and me and always make me feel welcome and relaxed my parents are upset about all of this and keep telling me that i should keep my distance i'm doing it too fast i'm trusting him and his parents too soon i'm gonna end up hurting myself really and things like that they also don't like it that i've developed an attachment to my birth name and he does call me by that name and i like it i think this is even more of a big deal for them than anything else and then there's my grandma who hates my brother with a burning passion who thinks i dress too inappropriately in front of him because girls shouldn't wear thin clothes robes or swimsuits in front of stranger boys as if he's just a random guy to me she lives with us and if he comes over she always plays detective to figure out what we're doing together her objections are that i dress too immodestly we laugh too much we sit or lay down on bed too close together and worst of all we close the door when we're in my room yeah because she doesn't respect our privacy i should go to jail for these serious crimes so last night parents and grandma had to sit down with me to voice their concerns they accused me of forgetting about my real family and losing my soul what does that even mean they say they're worried about me and will only allow me to continue spending time with him if i agree to three boundaries i am always to be referred to by the name that parents picked rather than birth name i should be a lot more careful about what i wear in front of him this is grandma's rule she wants me to basically dress like her i don't think my parents care about this rule as much my time with brother must be supervised by my parents or grandma that means no going out or at his place or with door closed i find all these rules to be unreasonable and i find their objections to be childish and i think my grandma needs help how do i keep the peace while seeing my brother my friend linda was very adamant about saving herself until marriage we're both 21 females it wasn't even just for her she would shame and side-eye people who weren't married and sleeping together even one of her mutual friends she wholeheartedly believed that was a sin as she was very religious however she got a boyfriend and they ended up sleeping together told me that herself edit she told me he took her virginity one thing led to another and they broke up amicably after that we were hanging out and she went off on a tangent saying girls need to respect themselves and not sleep around that's what husbands are for me does that make you one of those girls linda what are you talking about me i mean you had slept around i explained that it doesn't have to be shameful and she can just not do it again until she's married if she pleases she seemed to be in disbelief that she's not a virgin anymore she also seemed upset that i mentioned that to her i mean we're 21 i hope she knows what intimacy is am i wrong for pointing this out i'm 30 male and my girlfriend is 26. ever since i was in college i grew a fascination for watches i didn't make much money while in college so i would spend money on watches around the 20 to 100 range at most once i graduated in computer science i got a nice job offer so i decided to spend my first couple paychecks on a nicer watch four thousand dollar range i met my girlfriend and started dating her quickly around when i was 27. she's a social worker so she's making around 40 000 a year i'd say i'm making around 130 000. we decided to move in with each other and we rented an apartment together we split the bills evenly for rent place is not expensive but i do generally pay for all our meals outside and do spend on random things like vacations for both of us since i do make more here's our recent problem i've wanted a watch that's generally around the 12 to 15 000 range since i started working when i mentioned it to my girlfriend a couple months back she thought it was silly to spend so much i ultimately decided to buy the watch two weeks ago i was so happy when i got it so i wore it and kept it on for several days we hung out at her friend's place and had a barbecue with 10 people we all wore masks in social distance a friend of hers noticed my watch and got super annoying and judgmental for me buying the watch it's a rolex so everyone knows the name and thinks they're super expensive they asked how much it was and my girlfriend said it's over ten thousand a couple of her friends really seemed concerned that i just blew that much money on a watch i made the mistake of blurting out that i have several more cheaper watches in the 5000 range after one of her friends asked my girlfriend why she'd allow me to spend so much once we got home my girlfriend started crying and screaming at me for embarrassing her at her friend's place and asked me why i wore my watch there i was confused she said that everyone there makes around as much as her and obviously wearing such an expensive watch around them was tacky and snobbiness i told her i disagree i worked hard for where i'm at and this watch to me symbolizes the effort i put in it's personal for me i don't go around telling everyone about my watch i asked her what was the difference since one of her friends there was engaged and had a diamond ring on my girlfriend had no answer and now we haven't spoken for two days so yeah i've rented a room in a great four bedroom apartment for the past year and since my two roommates both are moving out in august i've been offered to rent the whole apartment which is a great opportunity and i've already asked my two best friends if they wanted to sublet the two other rooms and move in with me which they were both very excited to do my one friend indy has an apartment of her own that she's comfortable in so she isn't depending on this to go through even though my apartment is definitely better located and more spacious my other friend leila still lives at home where she isn't in a rush to move out either so none of my friends would end up with nowhere to stay if this doesn't work out leila is very excited and i've been excited with her talking about how we each have a bit of money saved that could go towards improving the apartment and it's been great to have someone to dream with the past month now things took a turn on wednesday leila found out she's pregnant she got on tinder about two months ago and has been having some fun meeting new people and dating which is completely new territory to her and so there is more than one option for a father all of whom she isn't interested in involving she's over the moon over this news and wants to keep the baby and raise it as a single mother i personally think this is a terrible idea she's only 21 she's not in university yet only has a part-time job of four hours a week and has a long history of depression and anxiety disorders possibly borderline personality disorder or something like it she's in treatment to find the right diagnosis has never lived out of her parents home or taking care of herself at all it's her decision and not mine though and i will of course be there for her as i've known her for over 15 years and i love her she hasn't told her parents yet because they'd flip out and she'd like to be moved out before she does tell them she wants to move into the apartment still and raised the baby there with my friend and i we met up on friday and she laid out this plan on how she could work until she knew what she wanted to do in terms of university and my friend and i could babysit together arranging it after our classes she said we each could put our savings towards the baby as we essentially would all be parents i'm just not okay with this at all i feel like university is stressful and i don't have enough time as it is for my assignments without caring for a kid in my spare time i'm 22 and i also like doing 22 things like having friends over for a drink on fridays and sleeping in on sundays having dates over and having an infant in the apartment is just not something i see working out with my lifestyle it's her choice to keep the baby but i don't think it's right to force my friend and i to be co-parents with her i think she has a romantic view of what it's like to care for a small child especially as a single young mother with very little means and though i love her i'm not willing to sacrifice that amount of time and money on her decision to become a parent unexpectedly she's only six weeks along so it's not an immediate problem but i feel like i can't let her move in now indy doesn't know yet but i'm thinking she will have the same feelings as me about the situation layla has told a few of her friends i'm not very close with about her plan as if it's definitely gonna happen and they are very excited for her and kind of hyping her up and further painting an idyllic picture of how she's gonna raise this kid in my apartment i just have no idea what to do right now i don't know how i'm supposed to tell her that this is not gonna work for me and she can't move in here with a baby i didn't directly tell her i think it's insane for her to have a baby right now as this must be a tough and scary time for her and i didn't want to upset her too much i did tell her i have concerns with how it would work out but she wasn't phased at all should i tell her parents her mom is a very sweet and kind person who has always helped her but her dad is a different story and i don't know how he would react i've considered talking to india about it and maybe figure out a way for us to tell her together or something i took the advice someone gave to talk to my other future roommate indie about it we both agreed it was not something we wanted to do at all and we decided to confront her about it together so she could understand it wasn't gonna happen we got together at my place on tuesday and had some tea we just sat down and said that basically we're very worried about her and the scenario that she had in her head about us raising the baby together is just completely irresponsible and we don't want that at all we decided to not lay out the whole thing about her mental health job situation and all that because we didn't want it to feel like an attack on her but more just us setting some boundaries she got really emotional and told us that she knew it was ridiculous but she was scared and in shock and really didn't know how to react or think straight apparently it wasn't even her idea to begin with but some of her other friends we don't know very well who came up with it just sort of pressured her to feel a certain way because they were extremely excited for her she just said that she has been crying every day since she found out and she's so scared for the future and really just wants everything to go back to normal at that point we just said that we totally understand and we of course will be there for her no matter what she decides to do but we really also felt that it would be a lot for her to be a mom under these circumstances so yeah she decided getting a termination would be the best thing for her she said her initial reaction was to terminate the pregnancy but she had a lot of guilt associated with that as she'd been brought up in a very conservative family i'd rather not hear anything about the morals of that decision as i don't think that would really be helpful to the conversation there has been some crying lots of hugs and long talks and walks in the forest and i feel like things are going to be okay they're both staying here until my roommate gets back so she can go through this in a comfy environment without having to pretend nothing is wrong so yeah seems like the plan of moving in together is back on as originally planned and everything will be okay layla was offered some counseling at the hospital about getting through a procedure and the feelings about it which she is starting sometime next week me and my girlfriend naomi are mixed couple with her being korean and me being black we've dated for just under five years now and for the past few months i've been planning on proposing i'm pretty traditional so i thought it would be a good idea to ask naomi's dad for his blessing before i proposed i asked earlier this month when i arrived at their house i was greeted by naomi's mother and father who invited me in after a little talking i told them that i was going to propose and wanted their blessing her mother was ecstatic and her father didn't seem displeased and he told me it was okay for me to propose we talked more and the topic of babies was brought up by her mother i told her that i wanted to have kids with her and she got even happier we continued talking when i told them i needed to start heading home her mother said she would send me home with some food and left for the kitchen me and her dad have a small language barrier between us that's usually alleviated by either naomi or her mother so we kind of just sat there in silence he then told me this i'll clean it up but it was difficult to understand as he isn't great at english you are a very nice young man and we like you a lot we'd be happy to have you in our family but we are not too happy about you and her having dark babies i was stunned and kind of just awkwardly laughed we sat there for another two minutes before her mom came out with a wrapped plate when i got home i said nothing about this to naomi i know i need to talk to her about what was said but i don't want to be the one that accuses her family of being insulting and i know this is probably irrational but the way her father said it put the thought in my head that naomi may not want kids because of how dark i am how do i approach her about this in the least accusatory way as possible okay so for clarification my parents had been married for 40 years but unhappy for at least 10. my mother spends 10 months of the year at her caravan home and two months of the year at home where my father still lives three years ago they agreed to start seeing other people officially ending their relationship but still keeping the same living arrangements about 18 months ago my mother met a man she calls mr spain as he claimed to have a few apartments in spain that he let out as well as a property nearby that he rented out so was fairly well off they apparently fell immediately in love and wanted to get married so my mother rushed a divorce through with my father and married this man a month later i'd known each other about six months at this point we were still talking at this point and although i was apprehensive about this man we all did our best to accept him into our lives a few months later it all turned out to be lies he had no apartments in spain no other house he had some money from a family inheritance but many other lies were unearthed my mother was heartbroken and i helped her file for annulment he seemed to accept but asked my mother to pay him back for the gifts he had bought for our family over ten thousand pounds total but they were gifts he gave of his own choice before the annulment could be completed lockdown hit us and she was told it wouldn't be able to be processed until the courts reopen during this time she started talking to him again fast forward a few months and he's warmed his way back into her life she wants to cancel the annulment and continue her life with him i've told her i don't want to not see her or her not to see the kids but i don't want my family anywhere near him and i don't trust him apparently i'm a heartless witch who won't accept her choices but i think i'm not being unreasonable wanting to keep our distance

Channel: ASK GURL

Views: 33,292

Rating: 4.8798122 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit relationship, reddit ex girlfriend, reddit blind date, reddit set on blind date, reddit break up, reddit affair, reddit infidelity, reddit surviving infidelity

Id: qE1mwF8R7bo

Length: 18min 28sec (1108 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 21 2021