Freedom from Shame

hi guys pastor matt chandler here pray that this sermon this resource uh be used by god in conjunction with you belonging to a local church to grow you and sanctify you in your faith if these resources bless you would you consider giving back to us here at tbc you can do that either through the app or you can go online to tbc resources and give there again pray that this blesses you and grows you in your love for jesus christ so well good morning how you doing it's good to see you and for those of you at home thanks for joining us glad to have you with us on the live stream my name is mason king and i serve as one of the pastors and elders here i also oversee the village church institute and today we're going to be in john so if you want to go ahead and click or scroll or find your way to john 21 you can join me there now as you're turning i want to remind you that during the month of october we're joining together in prayer and we're praying over specific passages and themes a different one each week and so for the coming week we're praying about renewal and we're in ephesians 5 1 through 17. now it's important when you look at history that renewal always precedes revival that the lord stirs the hearts of his people to the things of god to the person and work of god and then he brings about a work in their land and so as you're walking your neighborhoods as you're praying for renewal be praying that for your own heart for your neighbors and for our church you'll be praying through ephesians 5 1 through 17. all right now we're in john you ready man it's just good to have people in the room so here we go last week was chapter 20 with mary standing before jesus in the garden in that same chapter in fact in that later that same day the disciples are behind a locked door because they're afraid of what the jews are going to do to them because the body of jesus is not in the tomb well they're behind that locked door and you know what happens who shows up jesus does he doesn't let that log door stop him jesus shows up and thomas wasn't with them that night and if you've read the scriptures you know that thomas kind of had an issue he doubted what happened and so eight days later they're back in the room behind a locked door all together and who shows up jesus does and then he comes and he turns to thomas and if you're a reader of the text paying attention you would go how does he know you know how he knows right because jesus knows thomas has doubt and he turns to him and he proves that he's no ghost he is seen he is touched and he speaks with them and then john concludes the book by telling us exactly why he wrote it at the end of chapter 20. he says now jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples which are not written in this book but these are written so that you may believe that jesus is the christ the son of god and by believing you may have life in his name now unseen role credits right we've reached the end but then there's john 21 which is the scene after the credits that you're waiting for to see what's coming next right here we are john 21 and when the credits roll i need you to know that you're nine days out from the resurrection and jesus has appeared two times to his disciples and the disciples stayed in town until later in that week until thursday after the feast of unleavened bread was over because they always go home at this point after the big trip to jerusalem for the passover so this is normal they stayed in town but at some point you got to go home and so they went home and before everything happened when they were still in jerusalem you'll remember this from chapters 13 through 17 that the lord spent a night with them and he told them hey things are about to change our whole situation here is about to shift and i need you to pay attention he told the disciples that he had to go so that the helper could come so that the son of man could be both glorified and glorify the father and that night peter pledged i will date i will lay down my life for you lord and jesus told him hang on hang on the night's not over yet all right and so i think about peter just the natural leader among the group the challenger champion of the underdog quick tempered high passion peter first to react first to strike he's full tilt at every turn and you just got to kind of love him for it like people just follow him they do but i'll tell you that peter's had a rough go the last few weeks he's had a rough go and once back in galilee peter decides to go fishing i mean these guys they got to eat right and they got to make some money so peter says let's go fishing and everyone says all right so they go and they spend a night of work in the boat and they catch what zilch nada that has to be defeating and they're about 100 yards offshore they're hungry they're tired light is just breaking on the hills around them and they hear this voice from shore hey boys you didn't catch anything did you now what do you think you're going to reply with can you imagine the way they looked around they're like who is this guy and they responded nope nothing voice comes back okay why don't you try the other side of the boat you'll probably find something there again what do you think they thought yeah right we're going to move 10 feet and we're going to find more fish but they did it they threw that net over and the bible tells you that so many fish jumped into the net that they couldn't pull the net in they only knew one person who had skill with fish like that so john looks at peter and goes it's the lord and then peter peter looks up grabs his shirt jumps in the water swims till he can't swim anymore stands up and then runs through the water to the shore and jesus is there tending a coal fire now the bible likes to point out little details which are really helpful to us because the past is a foreign place and we're not from there and so john notes that it was a coal fire that's the second time in the whole book he comments on what kind of fire it is do you know the first time it was in john 18 when peter was kneeling next to a coal fire and a little girl asked if he was with jesus and peter denied it and then others joined and said surely you're with him your accent gives you away he says i don't know the man i don't know him i swear and jesus has said a dinner oh will you lay down your life for me truly truly i say to you the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times now the text in mark says that when the rooster crowed peter ran from that fire he ran from that fire and he wept bitterly peter has denied the lord that he loves just like jesus said that he would his cheeks drip with fear shame and sadness and now his clothes drip on the beach as he stands before the lord you know that gut feeling that you get when you've done wrong like you've messed up you've done terribly wrong and you can't make it right as much as you want to make it right you know that feeling how awful that feeling is i just gotta wonder what peter felt standing there sopping wet looking at jesus jesus tells them hey bring some of those fish you caught and he makes breakfast for them now john doesn't tell us what they talked about while they ate but he does tell us what happened after and as i was reading i came across this translation that i really like so stick with me it's from the 70s it's a paraphrase it's before the message but we're going for it so here it is verse 15 when they had finished breakfast jesus said to simon peter simon son of john do you love me more than these others yes lord he replied you know that i am your friend then feed my lambs return jesus then he said for the second time simon son of john do you love me yes lord return peter you know that i am your friend then care for my sheep replied jesus now it's this third time all right we've done two it's this third time as i've been studying this is the one that gets me because peter who has lost face in front of jesus his friends and himself this is peter who is ashamed and peter who is supposed to be a leader for the third time jesus spoke to him and said simon son of john are you my friend and peter was deeply hurt because jesus's third question to him was are you my friend and he said lord you know everything you know that i am your friend no defense here for peter and you can almost hear him thinking i've messed up i've denied you like you said that i would i'm sorry lord all i know to do is to say that i love you and you know that i do i love you more than anything or anyone or any one of them i love you and then jesus says the same thing again then feed my sheep feed my sheep shepherd my flock pastor my people and you just got to ask why is jesus telling him to do that over and over like we get the point right i want you to note very carefully that christ is removing shame from peter he is letting him pledge his love three times as he denied it three times christ is restoring what peter gave away and he's doing it for peter and he's doing it for the other disciples who are watching who are going to need to follow peter as they move forward because he's got work to do in the kingdom of god christ takes his shame away so a great question for us this morning is what is shame let's call it the fear of abandonment the fear of not being enough that i do something that makes you turn from me and we all experience this like from a really young age we all know this feeling and from a young age we try to live to avoid shame to avoid people seeing us at our worst and turning from us so we protect against shame and we use shame and it is a tool and sometimes there's a positive aspect of shame but it's not the kind of shame we're talking about today because the kind of shame we're talking about is the kind of shame that says you didn't just mess up you are a mess up that you didn't just do bad you are bad that it's not about the mistake because shame wants you to believe that you are the mistake and so here's peter two weeks and three questions deep in his shame can you imagine the kind of story he's telling himself like when i mentioned shane what do you think of what do you think of what about you your actions your hurts your wants do you feel like are too much to let others see that if they knew you you would be abandoned unwanted or ghosted by those that you love see kurt thompson who's written a great book called the soul of shame describes it as this moment when we're seen at our worst and when the other person leaves the room we wonder if they will come back what about you makes you wonder if they will come back there may well be people in your life who have seen you at your worst who have made you feel less than like it was your fault and they left and they left shame instead of returning with love and we can think that because they treated us this way then this must be the attitude of god we can even think that jesus is kind but the father is mad so the son is mercy and the father is disappointed but again as i shared you in john 14 that christ has come to reveal the father so when you see the face of jesus you are seeing the face of the father he has come that you would know the father so i want you now picture the face of jesus looking at peter on the beach and asking the third time are you my friend this is christ who knew his weakness this is christ who told peter what was going to happen christ who bears the scars of his victory over sin and death and christ who just made peter breakfast can you picture the love on his face and hear his voice you see jesus is not hiding or ignoring what's happened he's actually calling peter out of his head and into reality he's restoring face and removing shame jesus is doing away with the false story that peter is telling himself you know what that false story is how he's blown it how he can't be used by god that he's lost his chance and he's let down his friend he's let down the lord and jesus says this is the work i have for you to do pastor my people shepherd my sheep so many of us believe the lie of shame that we will be exposed as frauds that we are the mistake and in the end god and other people surely won't love us if they see all of us and shame is used against us by sin and daily fed to us by the stories we tell ourselves i just want you to think about this with me think of how many times you speak to yourself each day think of how the voice in your head processes interactions with people you saw on in person or on social media things you said or that were said to you things you did or were done to you now how many of you would say the overall tone of that voice is negative where's your hands anybody how many like it's your critic it's not your cheerleader it's been said that we can feel shame and you can feel shame for feeling shame that is an emotional quicksand that's really difficult to escape and the thing is that the stories we tell ourselves about reality are the stories we eventually come to believe because we repeat them to ourselves the most and sin and satan want the tone of that story to be shame filled that you would doubt that you were loved or you could be known for who you are without fear being abandoned by god because that keeps you from making your home with him and flourishing as a child of god that's a key piece to shame that when we are bound by shame we won't use our god-given talents creativity and confidence because we don't want to be rejected by people but freedom from shame means we can risk rejection from people because the christian story is one of final and unrelenting love from god the father through christ the son the father knows our darkest sins and he loves us as deeply and directly as he loves his son you see jesus is setting peter free from believing otherwise he's removing peter's shame because peter's going to need all the talent creativity and confidence that god has given him because he has work in the kingdom to do and you see friend a person freed from shame is set on the road to use all of their god-given talents for work in the kingdom with all of who they are to point to what is true good and beautiful to live free from rejection or abandonment i just have to wonder what talents creativity and confidence that we have missed malnourished robbed from ourselves or others because of shame because we have looked around for approval and value instead of looking to our maker i want you to think about the g the face of jesus again this whole interaction is an invitation into life into reality both for peter and those with him on the beach you see christ is fully repairing a rupture in their relationship and then christ says i tell you truly peter then when you were younger you used to dress yourself and go where you liked but when you were an old man you're going to stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and take you where you do not want to go john tells us that he said this to show by the show the kind of death by crucifixion by which peter was going to honor god and then jesus said to him you must follow me. now christ has restored peter and he's telling him that the job and the road ahead is hard so you better follow me peter and peter here's this and he looks over at john who's right there he's just right here john's actually it says he's kind of following him as they're having this conversation and john is the beloved disciple right you can imagine how peter's feeling this moment it's john the beloved disciple not the screw-up who denied the lord and just got cross-examined there's john and so peter goes okay that's not great news about me what about him what about him you have to think of the patience of jesus just the patience of jesus and the love for peter that saw all of peter in that moment and he said if it's my wish for him to stay until i come is that your business peter you need to follow me it's as if he's saying peter i have a job for you i have a job for john you are a pastor he is a witness you will lead the church he will be a faithful testimony of who i am and we know that because we're reading his book we're going to read his other book in the spring in revelation you will be a pastor peter and john will be a witness it's about time you realize that your roads are not equal and you need to be okay with that and you need to follow me in reading christ's response to peter's question i've been thinking about this and thinking about the gut reaction of comparison from peter and i wonder how much you and i need to hear the call of christ in the same way that as we deal with our shame our comparison and our cries for fairness there is so much shame-filled competition for attention in our lives like how much of your daily life is spent avoiding shame by competing with the next post story promotion house car vacation sport or accomplishment of your kid how much of your energy is spent in those spaces avoiding shame and the weird thing here is that peter's asking about john and they're both giving their lives to the call of christ it's not about who gets a promotion or a fancy new car or a nice vacation it's not about those things it's about serving jesus and we still compete like this within the church as we envy the gifts of others wishing we were like them instead of embracing how god made us and that sounds like gifts and talents locked in shame to me it's a christian jesus has work for you to do do you know what it is like maybe a better way to ask it is this what kind of person do you think jesus is calling you to be but shame has caused you to hide it to bury it because you are looking around for your worth instead of looking to your maker see thompson says this that lurking deep within us is what satan convinced our first parents to believe that we are not important enough for god to remain with us and here at the end of john it seems that christ has really gone out of his way like he's gone out of his way to show up make a fire cook breakfast and heal a brother and he does that by facing into his shame and calling him to life in fact the whole book that john's written is meant that we would see the ways in which christ has come to show us that god wants to remain with us that he became like us to redeem us and has invited us into life with him and i'll tell you this morning that christ alone can deal with your shame his death on the cross acknowledges our sin for the wrong that it is we confess it to him and each other that we have failed and we do fail and we need a savior and as christians we know that jesus has seen us at our worst and if you can wrap your mind around this including the future bits like he knows all of it that's coming and he has not left us nor will he ever because of this we can enter into relationships with each other and through vulnerability model the love of christ by exposing shame to the light and not leaving it is the ongoing reassurance of christ's love for us that destroys the stories of shame that we tell ourselves and it will be the ongoing acts of faith in that love that allow us to use our talents creativity and confidence for the glory of god it will allow us to make our home with him and do the work he has for us in the kingdom so i want to talk about two ways that shame shows up in our lives the first one is this the first one is when we think i'm not enough when we think i'm not enough i'm too broken for god to really love me to make my home with him or to be loved by others if you knew what i've done where i've been or what's been done to me you would leave until we tell ourselves that i i don't accept god's love because i struggle to love myself i need to protect myself from hurt by hiding and finding my hope and what i can control so you look around instead of looking to god desperately wanting community and hiding where you need help because you don't want to be left alone the story you tell yourself is louder than the story that god speaks over you and the second one is this i should be farther along by now i'm not enough i should be farther along by now i can't be much use to god because i should know my bible better i should sin less be kinder be more successful be a better spouse parent worker manager pastor pta member friend i should just be more god has to be disappointed with me and how much i still give into my compulsions so you're not good enough and you should be farther along by now those thoughts are fed to us on a daily basis and we agree with them and avoid putting them in their place and reckoning with them all the time and i'll tell you i'm not sure which one peter wrestled with but i bet you he heard both of them since the night he ran from the fire i'd also say that i think shame is much more present in our daily lives than any of us want to admit because it drives where we find our identity security and sense of accomplishment we all want to protect ourselves from being less than and show ourselves to be farther along and i got to tell you it is an unwinnable position to hide our humanity and expect to flourish it is an unwinnable position to hide our humanity and expect to flourish it is only through acceptance of our humanity before god and others that we will find life as god has ordered it and i can tell you this morning that the healing remedy the shame the healing remedy the shame is being known by god and others it is trusting that your ultimate acceptance is in jesus unmovable unchanging unrelenting so here's thompson again if relationship with jesus is as much about being known as it is about knowing we soon learn that life with god is not about being right but being loved i think we're so concerned with getting it right we're just so concerned with getting it right we're so fearful of getting the things of god wrong then it keeps us from trusting him from knowing his word and using all that he's put in us to create things that are good true and beautiful but what if you were less concerned about being right and lived in faith that you were loved how would reading the bible change for you if when you read about jesus looking here at peter you saw empathy love invitation in his words instead of disappointment or frustration now don't think i'm telling you that bible literacy is is not important because i work in the institute hey like bible literacy is the lifeline you can't let go of okay the invitation is to learn god's word and see jesus as the fulfillment of all of god's promises god wants his people to make their home with him knowing the bible better is not about getting it all right it's that learning about god helps you see his beauty and believe his character based on his words not the story you tell yourself so how would you live if you let the love of god lead you out of shame how would you live if you let the love of god lead you out of shame and you believe the true story that john has been telling us you need a reminder of where that story is we're in the last week it's been a while so here it is that john has told us that the true light the true light which gives light to everyone came into the world and to all who did receive him who believed in his name he gave the right to become children of god that the word became flesh and dwelt among us and we have seen his glory glories of the only son from the father full of grace and truth in this word christ himself has told his disciples as the father has loved me so i have loved you abide in my love and then he prayed to the father for you and for me they mean that we may one day be with him and see his glory the glory that god the father gave him because the father loved the son before the foundation of the world and the son the word the light of the world has made known to us the name of the father and we'll continue to make it known that the love of god for the son may be in us and i tell you john couldn't have been more clear when he said that the whole purpose of the book you wrote is that you may believe that jesus is the christ the son of god and by believing you may have life in his name jesus came to show the father and to invite us to life with god and christ alone can deal with our shame and free us to walk in union with god using our talents to do work in the kingdom and at the center of this life is a relationship with god knowing and being known walking in the truth that you are loved by your maker how would your life change if that was the loudest story you told yourself what would you stop being afraid to do if you knew you were already loved if you're joining us today and you're not a christian or if you're watching this and you don't believe in jesus wouldn't say that you claim him i'm so glad you're with us i'm so glad you're here because if you know shame well and you want to be free of it christ is the answer if you want to be free from shame jesus is the answer and he's the only one you are invited to make your home at life at your home with god make your home with god and become who he made you to be don't you want that i want that just living free from fear of rejection living before an audience of one so if you want to know more about following jesus i just would really encourage you like go to the connection to after this or if you're watching reach out to someone that you know is of christian call us in an email we'd love to talk with you christian there is power in jesus to be set free from shame and comparison he invites you to live free from fear of rejection because your final acceptance is in him so where do you need to begin exercising the talents creativity and confidence that god has given you to do work in the kingdom let's pray together father i i know that you i know that you love your children you love your children and want us to walk in the light and you hate what steals from your children and so father i know that you long to free your children from shame and that christ is able to remove and deal with our shame by the power of his life his death his resurrection and his current work we can look to him so would you help us would you help us to stop being fearful of rejection and comparison and live for you to make our home with you and to live out the talents the creativity and the confidence in you that you've given us pray in christ's name amen

Channel: The Village Church Resources

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Length: 30min 43sec (1843 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 12 2020