Fr. Joshua Waltz vocation story

[Music] my vocation story starts when I was born right because that's when all vocations stories start but I didn't really really kick in and tell about was about twelve years old when I was twelve years old before it before I even start with my vocation story the reason I want to tell you about this tonight is not just because I want my story to get out there and people to hear it and be inspired and all that garbage the reason I'm telling you it is because I want you to pay attention in this story to how important choices are okay choices are the most important thing you're gonna do in your life you know a lot of people think it's gonna be to be famous it's gonna be make money but the only way you become famous the only way you make money the only way you impact the world is all it's through choice it's a great mystery of free will that all of humanity has its old pay attention to the choices that I made some of them very stupid some of them kind of stupid and then some of them sort of intelligent right and somehow God gets his way in that the only way you glad God gets his way and that whole thing is by two things which I'm going to explain but when I was 12 years old I was a server altar server I was a really good server not even made it to be the Sarah Club that's kind of the big club that sponsors vocations they named me server of the year that's pretty big deal when you're 12 years old okay I was server of the year and so they had this big thing and they they they honored me with this plaque I stole this plaque my mom thinks it's the greatest thing in the world and this plaque you know and I was like this is amazing the bishop would call me up personally they'd say I want you to serve this Mass because me and two other guys were like his go-to guys cuz he didn't have to train us because we knew what we were doing and so serving was a huge thing and when I was serving I was like all I remember is I didn't like Church until I was serving then I enjoyed it because I was actually doing something I was really participating in the mass I remember I love serving fast forward a little bit till I get into high school when you get to high school pretty much all you are in high school right yeah we get to high school serving really isn't that cool anymore you know I mean it's not like you go to a party in your leg hey man I just served it mass I got a serving mass tomorrow what do you got you guys are gonna you're gonna be there or what you know I mean so you really don't talk about it anymore you don't wanna talk about your faith because you're ashamed of it and the reason you're ashamed is because you don't understand it and I didn't understand my faith at all and I lived I lived for soccer okay soccer was the greatest thing it was it was it was everything for me I played in the summer I played during the school year I was on the Olympic Development Programme team I went to the AAU national championships I played through college it was everything for me everything in my junior year my junior year everything came crashing down everything came crashing down we met the state title game okay and I was the sweeper does anybody know anything about soccer I know everybody's like this is big-time football country right and all that kind of stuff so just bear with me the sweeper is the last but yours I'm going to tell you this even if no you understand soccer you're athletes and so you can relate to me on that level so I was the sweeper on the last guy there was seven seconds left in the state championship game seven seconds left and the one guy the forward got a breakaway he beat both of our defenders I was the last guy it was one-on-one Jeff Fischer I still remember his name's crystal clear in my head and as he's Cohen he's getting and I look at the clock and I look at him and it's like five seconds and all of a sudden I see him and he's getting ready to shoot I'm like either I slide in or I let him shoot and just hope that the goalie stops it said I'm not leaving my goalie to fend for himself I slide in he kicks the ball is going this way and the goalie I see him out of Cour my eye getting ready to dive as I slide in it hits my shin and deflects the other way okay three two one the ball rolls over the goal line we lose two to one my fault why are you laughing at me that's terrible we lose two to one I dropped to my knees that day and I wept like a little girl just tears and here's the worst part ready for this all the guys who were playing against the BHS Bismarck high they were all buddies of mine we played during the summer together so later on we went to this big bonfire and all the soccer guys were there and we were enjoying each other's company and whatnot and they came up to me with this box and they had their BHS jacket state champions you know it's just rubbing it in they're like we want you to have this box and I'm like well well what is it I just opened yeah we felt bad for you so I'm like I open it up take off the lid and it's a BHS state championship jacket with my name written on it and I'm like what the heck is this they're like couldn't have done it without you yeah it was terrible aren't those great friends and so I took out through it the bonfire but the point of this is my heart I mean there were demons I figured let it burn to tell whatever so I soccer broke something broke inside of me then my senior year two priests came into my life two priests one was named father now a Monsignor Tom Richter father David's brother and father Austin Vetter who is a native of this land down here I think right the vetters are big down here is in this better ville in the July or something like that and they came into this school and they just took this school by storm and I saw in these guys there was this joy about the faith that I had never seen there was this fire about the faith that I had never seen and so I just entered full bore into religion class like I loved it and I couldn't let my friends see that well I don't know why but we can't let our friends see that we love Jesus right like that's some terrible thing and so every day they would call on me and I had the right answers I started studying I was reading I was praying and all something like this is great and then the terrible thing something terrible happened one day in the middle of class Monsignor Richter point at me and he said Walt see you're gonna be a priest and I was like and all my buddies are gonna be priests me no no I don't know what I'm not never I would never ever do that and I like laughed and these guys are all making fun of me and every day both father Vetter and father Richter they're kept saying and they would you know they'd say stupid stuff like when you gonna join the ranks when you gonna be a man how much shut up just shut up they wouldn't let me go because they saw something in my heart they saw something that wasn't gone yet there was something there and so they came up with this brilliant idea they said we're gonna go to Rome we're gonna go to Rome we're gonna take a pilgrimage to Rome and anybody that can pay for it can come and I was like well that would be pretty sweet but I you know I was like I got stay away from these guys cuz they want me to be a priest I go home and tell my mom my mom's like that's a great idea she's like I'll help you pay for it I'm like oh and soon as I figured you know I mean you could drink beer over there and there was a really cute girl that wanted to date she was going on the trip I was like this is a win-win oh my god and I don't have to really pay so I went on this Rome trip I went on this Rome trip when I was on this Rome trip now be as this is all going on I want you to be very clear about something I mentioned a couple times as this is all going on I never stopped going to Sunday Mass and I never stopped going to confession even at my worst I never stopped those two things and I mentioned that several times cuz that's a choice I made I made a choice to do those two things we go to Rome wonderful place if you ever your chance to go to Rome you gotta go there maybe you've been it's outstanding and what struck me about Rome is this the church I always thought was for old people do get that sense like there's always old people in the church like all there is is old people everywhere and they're just old and they go to church and that's like our faith and I remember when I went over to Rome I started seeing there were these young martyrs these people that gave their lives for the faith and I started questioning my own heart I was like I wonder what I would die for and you know what this is really sad I came down of the fact that I wouldn't die for anything nor would I die for anybody that's sad that's how selfish this guy was I'm still kind of selfish but I'm working on I wouldn't die for anything and that bothered me something hit me hard but I started seeing the glories of the church all the history how it affected everything in Western civilization how some of the greatest minds ever came out of the Catholic Church it wasn't just for dumb people cuz I met a lot of dumb people no most of my friends were dumb I was dumb you're dumb no wait we're all pretty dumb when it comes I mean hopefully now father David and I are a little bit better but for the most part were pretty dumb when it comes to the faith another sudden I heard about st. Thomas Aquinas and like he was this he was what you guys do you guys he was like probably the smartest guy ever ever in the world maybe I know that's kind of bold Aristotle was pretty serious to st. Agustin saying Agustin was this crazy crazy guy he had he had a kid outside of wedlock he was a partier he loved to go around and just it was all about living for the moment all about kidding whatever crazy thing he could get that made him happy was all about him and he became one of the greatest minds in the Catholic Church he became one of the greatest Saints in the Catholic Church st. Paul was a murderer I mean at least we haven't done that right he wasn't a murderer or yeah we're not a murderer but he was and I was like I started thinking about all these people at these huge conversions and I'm like hey maybe this could happen to me maybe this priest thing isn't so crazy and these two guys are fun I thought priests were losers I'm sorry you know maybe you think I'm a loser I don't know I don't care but I was like they have a lot of fun and they enjoy each other and there's there's a you guys there was something inside of them there was something inside of them that lit me up I was like whatever they have I don't know what it is but I want it I want it and you know what it was it was simple it was holiness that's it it was Jesus that's it I just wanted that so we're over in Rome we see all you think lo and behold one night we get this announcement and this announcer is this Bishop Paul's at full who was our previous Bishop before Bishop Kagan and then his predecessor Bishop Kinney were both in town they were in Rome doing what's called that limit of visit AB Limina is every five years the bishop meets with the Pope and when they go to this they get a free ticket that's not really a ticket but they get a free invite and they bring somebody with them to have a private Mass with the Pope and meet the Pope afterwards usually it's the seminarians over in Rome when I was studying over Rome I got to go with Bishop zipper when he came his second time when he's there his first time there were no seminarians and so they came him on they came to Father Richter and Father Vetter and they said we had these invites we want to give them to your group and so they announced to us imagine this they announced to us after the meal one night they say we have two invites to go to a private Mass with Pope John Paul the second and then afterwards you will meet him and he said we're gonna put all your names into a hat we're gonna pick him out and at that moment I put my head down I said Jesus here's the deal if you want me to be a priest you just picked my name and then all sounds like no wait I take that back it just hit me there was there's only 33 of us I got a one in 33 chance that's pretty good and I was like girl you know so I feel stuck cuz I'm a total pagan you know I think like if I break this promise God's gonna kill me and so I sit there and I'm like until we went outside and we prayed and then they pulled out a name and it was Christina and I was like yes they're like what I'm a gay that he's so awesome she's going can you imagine what that must be like you know I'm like oh thank god okay Jesus I don't want to be able to make my name and the second one pulls out and it's my name and I just like sat back on this car and I was like oh no and my buddies are like what I'm just so overcome right now I don't even know what to say and all it's going through my head is you're gonna be a priest you're gonna be a priest you're gonna fear that you know like I was just screaming inside well anyway that kind of subsided and I realized I'm gonna go meet the Pope right I'm gonna go be John Paul the second and chocolate I stayed up all night I was like what am I gonna say the Pope what he said to the Pope hi Pope you know like how's it going I gotta figure out something to say to this guy and the other thing was I didn't have any nice clothes I dressed like a slob like all of you and so I had nothing to wear and so father veteran father Richter gave me their clothes so I was like I had this cardigan sweater on and it was way too big you know like push it up the sleeves and I'm like I'm gonna go see the Pope and so they take us into the papal palace they walk us up the stairs we go around this corner and down this huge hallway and there's Raphael paintings and Michelangelo's sculptures and all this crazy stuff and all sudden we come around the corner we go into the chapel and there's a pope there's the Pope just right there like 10 feet in front of me kneeling and praying and I will never forget if you ever talk to people that went and saw him pray there's something he like groaned when he there was like this like deep sighs you it was like the whole shirt I mean the whole church was on his shoulders he was just interceding for the whole church he got ready we had mass it was beautiful and then afterwards we got to meet him and he came out it was really crazy he came out and he was like cuz this is after his hip he had heard his heavy he had his cane he's kind of like look it up and I was like see old people in the church and he's like guys and then I'm not kidding you he comes over to his this big desk and he throws his key on to his desk and he just goes like this and kicks back and looks around says some in Italian everybody starts laughing so it's the Pope so I just started laughing I didn't understand it ha ha made a joke you know and then we met him one by one and as we came up he would give us a rosary kissed his ring give us the rosary um when I met him you guys I kissed his ring it felt like I was floating like I literally lifted off the ground and I started crying I'm man enough to admit whenever anybody got around John Paul the second they started crying I don't know what I mean it's sanctity that's what it is he just admits God's love and I started crying and I looked down I said Holy Father will you please pray for me and my family and he looked deep into my eyes and he said I will he'll say who so I don't know about you but I had a Pope praying for my family and then afterwards we got done and then afterwards Bishop Kenny who knew John Paul pretty well he's like come up here and everybody left the room and we got to talk to him again he's like where are you from like Bismarck North Dakota and he's like oh it's cold there you know like I'm having a conversation with the Pope you know like I was 18 years old so I come out of there everything now is I'm gonna be a priest now it's like I'm gonna be a priest you know this guy is gonna be a priest and he at this rosary so I have this rosary now here's really this is a catch so I got to get from Rome Italy to Barcelona Spain to meet my mom she's coming over I'm gonna hook up with their tour group uh you know I'm an idiot 18 year old like most idiot 18 year olds and and I came to this train station I had to take a train couple trains to get to roll to Barcelona I get there father Rick - father better there like you okay you know what you're doing I'm like yeah I got this whatever you know just eat your hat on backwards you know my pants down it's no big deal really I'm 18 in case you didn't realize and so they left me so I get into the train station I look up and in in in the the train station there is this huge board and there's I don't know maybe 25 or 30 trains they're all listed and I'm like and I don't speak and I was like huh yeah and there's three trains going to the same place I want to go so I was like well just pick one they must all be the same it's like an airport they all go to the same place so I get on and I I look at the trick the conductor you stand there I'm like this my train and he looks like I see you never trust Italians okay if you ever get to Italy you never trust the ties so I get on the train and I'm you know I'm riding along and I'm like and it stops all the time you know Mike I thought I was supposed to be on a really fast train you know like those bullet trains that fly through Italy and I'm like this is not a bullet this is like I don't know like a covered wagon it feels like and people are smoking in it and it snakes so we get just outside of Pisa and I find out I show this lady sitting next to me she smokes her broken English she's like oh no you're on the wrong train you were supposed to be on the other train and I'm like well well now what she's like I don't know you're gonna talk to people to get to Pisa and I'm like great I'm already late Ben Olsen the train stops just stopped in the middle of nowhere and I'm like everybody starts jumping yelling and screaming and I'm like I think there's like a terrorist attack or something on the train and I said I'm like I'm like what's it was like a happening you know I was trying to use some Spanish and she looks at me she's like strike and I'm like a strike like the trains on strike Mike how long she's like we sat there for six hours just sitting and there's no air conditioning and it's hot it was like July it was so hot finally the train picks back up we get to Pease I walk in I'm like yeah I screwed this up can you help me and he's like oh sure get on this train I'm like okay because I didn't know what I was doing so I get on this train and we're going along and all of a sudden I'm like walking I'm trying to find my place and I'm like looking around there's some really freaky people on the train if you've ever taken it you know it's kind of like the Greyhound bus of Europe and so as I'm walking I look and also I look and there's this room and they're like crossdressers they're they're men dressed like women and they're really drunk am i their cabin is right here and mine is right next to them and all there's no john paul ii gave me that rosary it sounds like i'm gonna pray the rosary cuz i feel like praying the rosary and then all sudden they started beating on my door and they're like hey little boy you wanna have a good time and I'm like no no I just want to give my mom you know it's up I'm praying the rosary and I didn't even really know how to pray the rosary my my grandma prayed the rosary like crazy she prayed the rosary all the time one time she was praying the rosary she got going like a hundred and ten miles an hour I'm like looking out the window because I didn't wanna present rules and like I was just like grandma she's like oh goodness no just rolling the beats so all I remember I didn't know the mysteries I didn't know anything I just knew our fathers in Hail Mary so I was just like okay Jesus this is what I'm supposed to do here I go like our Father Hail Mary Hail Mary Hail Mary our Father you know sound role in the Rosary and they're still beating on the door and I'm like just leave me alone you know and then all of sudden the doors start shaking and I'm like this is where I die this is where horrible things happen to me and I died because the cross-dressers are finally coming to kill me and the door the door opens and two Border Patrol to porter patrol with ak-47 machine guns hmm I had two barrels one in each eyeball and they look at me in there like pasaporte and I'm like yeah and he like looks this is the best part he looks at it and he's like it's not him not who who is on this train that you need guns for you know I bet they're next door check next door that desert so I finally I finally I get in I get into nice France okay I'm gonna give you a little tip when you're on a train don't stick your head out the window I'm sitting I'm coming in Nice France is beautiful Europe in Denis if you ever get a chance to go it's the French Riviera it's gorgeous so I'm sticking my head out and I'm like oh it's beautiful fresh air I got my rosary Oh My Jesus you're so good and all sudden there's a tunnel and I didn't see the tunnel coming and I'm just like as I go and I literally flew back landed on my back and I'm just like so I get up still praying I still got my rosary still holding it I'm like Jesus this isn't funny anymore I get in Denis France I get into Nice France I get out I come up it's 3:00 a.m. I come up to the guy say look man I need to Train I've missed my trains any trains like the the station closes you have to leave I was like I'll just sleep he's like no you have to leave and as I can't get a train the mornings leg will figure it out okay so I walk out in the in Nice there's a there's a there's a plateau on the train station and then two staircases that go down to the main street I walk out catch out of the corner of my peripheral about kora my there's five guys they're over in the core and they're smoking cigarettes yeah I give him the collar it's up that's an idiot you're we're all idiots at that age you're idiots I mean so so much I still kind of him but anyway I'm walking and I got my bag which it's an American Tourister bag it Mazal just have like neon lights on it says like mug me it's la wagon and I look and I look over and I saw walking I see two guys come this way and three guys go that way and so again you know I was like this is now where I'm really gonna die they're gonna steal everything they're gonna beat me up I'll be lucky to live and there are two times in my vocation story that I heard the voice of God like literally out loud I heard the voice of God and this is one of them and it wasn't profound he said run and I took off now here's the best part I didn't drop the bag I don't know why I didn't drop the bag but I used it to propel means you don't side throw it and be like you know and I'm running and just these guys take off after me it is like oh and then all sudden it's like turn laughs and I'm like boom and now I'm down a dark alley you know I'm like funny this is funny and I'm running just as fast as I can and all sudden it's like turn right and go in and I turn right go up these stairs and literally take my bag and throw it throw it at the door the doors burst open I fly through a turn around just like booth hit these locks and when they come up to the door and they start pounding on it I'm just like and I turn around and there's a guy standing there he's like you need a hotel yeah he charges me 70 Franck's it's all the money I had left now I have no money and this hotel okay I don't want to get too graphic about it but this hotel nice is not a very it's not a virtuous town it's a very sinful town and this hotel is one of those hotels that you don't buy a room for the night you buy a room for the hour II and when we went in he turned on the light and cockroaches just but I was happy because I wasn't dead and then he's like here it is bla bla he leaves me I go in and I'm like the bed has been used and so I just kind of pulled the covers back on the bed and I lay with the light on and these guys are throwing rocks at my window yelling stuff I smell cigarette smoke and keep the light on because of the cockroaches okay just like Jesus just get me to tomorrow so I fall asleep for a little bit wake up I get back on the on the train I get to the train I get I get halfway through nice and I have to stop and now I have to there's just layover I sit there I'm just shot I'm dead tired I fall asleep all of a sudden I wake up to hearing my train is leaving now I'm not kidding you this is really like you know in the movies when they're riding in the trains moving that's mean and like I literally jumped on to the train got onto it get into my room I'm sitting there and I'm just like oh thank you I just sit down the only one in this big cars beautiful I lay down the first stop now this is the same year it's 1998 the same year that France has the World Cup so I'm in France and it's the World Cup and these guys which is the soccer like chant you know in the and I like look out and these guys know shirts like one guys in a speedo they have their painted faces but they have flags on Norway or something like that and these guys come through and I'm like nah what are the chances they're gonna be in here so these five guys in me and we had a ball this was the first time I actually had fun they got hammered they were they I don't even know if they made it to the World Cup game but I was telling him about America and they were loving it we had a ball well then they got off and well I don't know what happened to him I just started praying to hell marry forum you know I'm the big prayer guy now and he with my rosary and then I got in very late it was about 1 a.m. when I arrived in Barcelona so I finally get into Barcelona I'm walking and I I'm terrible with directions so I got my let's go Spain book you know so I got my American Tourister bag is my let's go Spain book yeah let's look like an idiot and it says you know get into the Piazza and go north and you'll find the hostel and I'm like I get into the pots and I'm like North is straight I just walk straight and I was I'm on like I don't know this was 36 hours now 42 hours something like that I had barely any sleep because I was just so freaked out and everything was just a mess so I get upstairs he says second floor the doors kind of like cracks I open it and I'm like hello nobody's in there so I'm like well this must be it there's a little bar there and I'm like here's a cache this must be the waiting room so I shut the door and I sit down I'll just I'm just gonna wait well I mean matter of seconds and I was just asleep I wake up there's this little girl and she's like pulling on my coat and I like open my eyes and I'm like what she says what kiss that's mi casa which is why are you in my house and I'm like oh no and and right at that moment her dad comes around I'm just like I am so sorry I just Hospital hospital and he's like it he was so kind though showed me where it was got my room the next day now you guys got to remember something I was supposed to meet my mom my mom for 36 hours doesn't know where I am and if you knew my mom it's a miracle like helicopters and CIA agents we're like coming in to Barcelona so I went to the place rest was to meet them here's the real kicker they were delayed their flights were canceled all this they weren't there so I'm like no I don't have any money remember I'm out of money so I literally have like I don't know like equivalent of $1.00 I go and buy a bottle of water and a loaf of bread and I'm like that's it this is where I died the third time I'm sitting in this and we're watching I'm watching the game of the World Cup this he's about six five six four two hundred and fifty two hundred and eighty pound black man comes up he's like hey man how you doing and I'm like I'm doing terrible as a matter of fact he's like why what's going on so I told my whole story is like he says shoot he's like let me buy you a meal I'm like really he's like yeah you look starving like I am so I mean it's just great made the end we had a guy still conversation I never found out his name and he got up and left and I got left I'm like I'm gonna walk down Las Ramblas which is like Fifth Avenue of Barcelona and I'm walking down I'm like this is great you know I mean Europe I made it here 18 I'm the man should be dead you know and Olsen this lady comes up to me and she's one of those ladies you know one of those bad ladies a woman of the night she's a prostitute and she comes up to me and she said she said again she's like hey little boy you want to come have some fun and I was like no and she was ugly too and I said I said no I don't want to and then this was a crazy part I said I was so at this point I was so like I was at my wit's end I'm like you know I was like no I don't want that I was like and just leave me alone just leave me alone you know when I turn around and there's five guys standing there and they're like what's the matter with her and I'm like oh nothing they're like what you don't think she's pretty I'm like nah she's beautiful I was just worried if I could keep walking and he's and then they start pushing me and yeah I mean I'm 18 and Barcelona on las ramblas with a prostitute and her pimps you know I'm like this is I just met the PO you know and in they push and push and all of a sudden I just flipped I just pooped and I was like leave me these guys are like okay and they just like and I turn around and there's a six foot five 280 black pound black man just like this anyway it was great and I'm like hey and he's like hey man I saw you getting roughed up and I'm like you're the best you know and so you know I was just we set up a little bit and then he left met up with my mom everything was beautiful two weeks later we get were in Madrid right before we fly out we're in Madrid we get three hours to go shopping we go shopping we're going all around I get kind of sidetracked I'm on my own that happens law a little ADHD and along with everybody in this room and as I'm walking all sudden I'm you know I'm just kind of walking down the street and like boom I run in this guy and I'm like hey he's like hey it's the same guy yeah Barcelona - Madrid is a long ways you guys and it was two weeks had passed and somehow we meet in a city of three million people come on heads like this is awesome I was like I've got money let me buy you a meal so I said let's go on and so we're sitting there and we're having a pizza and all of a sudden I see my mom coming and we're talking he's telling me about his trip to tell her about history like does my mom you gotta meet my mom she's the greatest in the world so I was like just wait here and I walk now this place is it's it's there's only one one exit because it sits outside on a patio but it was it's kind of like trapped in Matt come over on my mom you got to meet this guy I made this guy and I come back and I'm like totally God and I look down and there's a little piece of paper and it says God bless Michael now you can say what you want but in case you want to know say Michael the Archangel he's a 280-pound six foot five black man that guy saved my life a couple times and he watched over me and then he just magically disappeared that was again another moment of conversion because you guys when God works most powerfully in our lives is when we struggle it's when were weak it's when we're at our wits end and we have nowhere to turn and that's where he worked powerfully when I got back home I was like um I'm gonna be a priest I'm gonna be a priest I started filling out paperwork I'm like I'm going somewhere this is great and all of a sudden something start creeping in and they're like do you sure you be afraid and I'm like no not really and I was like and then his voice said remember you said if you should be a priest not when you should be a priest like you should get married and then she'll die and then you could be a priest no there's stupid things that go through 18 year old heads and so I didn't join I didn't join I went off to college and I fell away from my faith but I never stopped going to Sunday Mass and I never stopped going to confession even in my worst never stopped my junior my sophomore year going in my junior year of college I had a chance to go down to Mexico went down to Mexico I studied Spanish I'd learned how to surf I learned how to dance it was wonderful there was one moment when I met these two little kids there's two little poor kids if you bear with me I'm gonna tell you this story because it was a huge moment in my life these two those these two little kids and they were this one little girl she was the first one to come up and I'm like sitting at house again I just fell back into this arrogance and this pride and she came up and she's like she's like you want by a friendship bracelet and I'm like they were the worst friendship bracelets you would ever see in your life like I like a dog could have put one together better than this poor little girl they were terrible and I was like no and they were on this nasty it looked like an old plate like gia taped him on there somehow you know and I was like no I don't get away from me and so she laughs and all of a sudden like I'm sitting there way for my buddies to come and like all sudden like cool there in front of my face she's right behind me she's like please and I'm like get get away just and I pushed her I was a real jerk pushed it away last time I'm sitting there my boy showed up I was talking with him all sudden I felt somebody sit down beside she laid across my lap and she's like so I'm like fine okay if I buy one will you go away and she's like yeah so I was like okay you know what I don't even want one of those here's a peso go away and she's like no you have to take a friendship place I don't want a friendship she's like well then we gotta play a game like looking and she's like Aguila a soul which means like son or hawk which is brilliantly heads or tails right so I'm like okay you ready I throw it up in the air catch it she's like so anyway Aguila you lose okay how's a jerk it was a jerk I didn't want anything to do with her she smelled funny too so she's like no Otis Otis we got to do it again we got to do it again I'm like fine I was like flip it up and I like and she's like so and I'm like salt and it wasn't so but I just wanted to do it like they're you and she's like yeah and I was like she was so excited and so beautiful and so cute I was like this is okay it was kind of adorable you know as I flew even the hardest heart right so I flip it up again so we do about ten coins and all sudden her little brother comes over he's even smaller and he's in like tattered rags dirty nasty he's like oh I play I wanna play and I'm like okay you know like we're having a ball right now and I spent like ten bucks on these just flipping coins and I have never met a worst heads or tail player in my life than this little boy he couldn't win his sister I'd like nine dollars and I'm like oh come on just win one and he's like I'm trying does I dig it and I'm like this I'm like this is you man this is all you you ready and he's like yeah so I take it and I was just like who like as high as I could this little kids like and I like will call it he's like so you know and it hits it it bouncy bouncy bounce lays flat and it's the Sun you know so he he picks it up and it does a victory lap around this Piazza just like I was like this is amazing think it's back and I'm like let's get ice cream and they're like yeah you know and they're like wait you know like what and you're like I'll be back in a second and they ran over and I didn't even see her their mom is sitting in the corner just in tattered rags and they take all the money and they literally throw it on her and run back and you guys even this guy's hard heart cracked a little because you know what I realized at that point I learned a life lesson they didn't care about the money they ain't care about the stuff they didn't care about the ice cream they didn't care about anything they just wanted to be near me they wanted to be loved it's something we take for granted every day some might take for granted but I have parents that love me they have a good family I have good friends that care for me to love me and so I don't have to feel that hunger for love I don't have to feel cast out from society like these poor little kids and that changed something deep inside of me so I returned back I returned back to the states and stuff started kind of changing in my life but it wasn't changed yet and so my buddies and I moved into a house up at NDSU me and three other guys we had a good time together we weren't the most virtuous four guys but we had a good time and at one point I remember I woke up one morning and there was a big get-together that we had at our house I like to call him get-togethers and I woke up and and I just said to myself because I was I was dating a great girl for about a year and a half I know it's hard to believe as good-looking as I am a couple girls fell for this guy and but anyway I was dating a great girl I had a job lined up I was gonna graduate and I woke up one morning and just all came crashing down and I was like is this it this is it so now what the rest of my life I'm just supposed to try different ways to have fun because if that's all there is to this life this sucks there's got to be something else and in that moment when I was in this deep desolation I was a real low point I did the one thing a good Catholic guy knows what to do go to confession it's been a while since I've been to confession I went to confession I went to father Peter Hughes in Fargo I don't some of you may remember him me as this old Irish priest and he came up I went into the confessional and I knelt down confessed all my sins and I said as a thanks father and he said what are you let me do my best he's like what are you doing for Lent and I was like well cuz Lent was coming up I'm like well if I give up chocolate it's not like you know and he's like why don't you go to Mass every day for all of Lent I said go to Mass I was like I got an 8 a.m. class he's like wonderful there's a 6:45 a.m. Mass at st. Anthony's that's like 6:45 like that's gonna be hard and he's on a dime he's like do you think it was easy for Jesus to die on the cross and I was like no father I don't you know so I was like fine I'll go to Mass I'll give it a shot I go to Mass so I'm leaving and as I leave he's like ah one more thing I'm like what he's like before you go every morning invite all of your roommates to come with you I'm like they're not gonna want to go he's like just do it ok father so I leave the first morning my I'm still really good friends with him Jason Heydrich he remembers this clear as day the alarm goes off at like 5:30 babe babe babe like click and he's like what in the heck are you doing I'm like I'm going to mass do you want to come it's like no and shut up so I go down and knock it out I'm like they're like what it's like it's like 5:30 I'm like I'm gonna go to church you guys wanna come but what money's like do they even have Church and so none of them came of course and I would go you know I started going to Mass and then it was funny cuz about weekend it was like beep beep click no maybe get a chance to ask him so I would go to Mass and I just went to mass over and over and over and over and over again and it was it was this beautiful time this beautiful time that I just started experienced something I'd never experienced before you know and and and I had constantly just before I finished I constant been ask him for signs and God was so good to me you guys he was so good to me I want to tell you one of the signs he actually gave me this is how good god was to me cuz he wanted me to be a priest he wouldn't give up on me I try to give up in on him over and over I'm sure you guys tried to give up on him too hopefully he keeps holding onto your heart pulling you back and you make good choices but I remember it was it was my summer I worked to cashman nursery in in Bismarck I was kind of like a foreman at the time so I was kind of a big deal big deal as landscapers didn't get and one one job we had we were down at Murray era Southport Jamie you has no Southport in Bismarck it's kind of like this like ritzy sort of town you know part of town these big huge houses and we were putting together all this Stewart doing all this landscaping well one day it was about 105 degrees it was hot and our the main boss guy was there and I said to him I said it was lunchtime I was like can we please go swimming means that yeah I suppose you know we stripped down to our boxers we dive in I had after that you know the my end of my senior year with father Richter and father better they gave us at the end of our at the end of that year they gave us this little metal it was called a scapular medal and they said you know if you die with this on that you know Mary basically takes you to heaven so I was a total pagan so I was like I wore this thing like I don't know like it was greater than the Eucharist you know I was like this is this gonna save my life I can be terrible and still go to heaven sighs like wearing this it was so stupid on my behalf but I little every ward so religiously in such a wrong mindset but it meant everything to me then it really did stop me from some bad stuff and that's a whole nother we could talk for hours hours about this but there was one I would wear it and wear it wear it and so we went swim in this one time and as I came out of the water I was like oh so refreshing I get out and I'm like oh no I'm like where is it and they're like where's what I don't like my metal like if I die I'll go to hell no I'm like where is it I got a I gotta find it and they're like they're like dude you were swimming it's gone I'm like that's like that kid that can't be so I went home my mom's like how was work cuz it's terrible she said what happened I was like I was wearing this chain and you know that chain that the priest came yeah a swimming it came off she's like oh it's okay and I'm like what she's like well just pray to st. Anthony no big deal get over here and I'm like well it's not lost I know where it is it's at the bottom of the Missouri River she's like come here so we pray together we pray I've been she prayed I was like this is stupid this is never gonna work and and you know so I she's like okay done like okay she's like you watch st. Anthony's gonna find it and I'm like okay by the way I love my mother I really do she's a saint and she has deep deep faith but at the time you know we all think our parents are a little crazy and so I get up the next morning and I'm laying there in bed I'm like you know what that would be a huge sign if something like that would you know I'm like talking might sound like this is stupid why am I even thinking about this there's no way get up the next morning come to the worksite the old man who lives there comes down he's guys O'Kane he's like hey does this belong to you and I'm like look at this I think I'm gonna get struck by lightning now like it turn from like a blessing into occurs and I'm like get that away from me I don't want any he's like this morning I was like I was like this it's yeah it's mine he's like well here you go and I was like where did you get that he's like darkness thing I was down on my dock yeah this little guy was great his idea of fishing was at night he would take a half hour to get down to the dock they'd throw his pullout stick it in the pool holder and go to bed any they'd wake up in the morning to reel in a fish he's like as I was reeling in the fish that darn thing must have got caught on this not real today it was insane it was insane I just sacked it I'm like and I came home and I was like did you find it and I'm like I don't want to talk to you it was it was just insane so anyway I go to Mass I mean it's just beautiful and enjoying it and you know at the end of it I started like they would have mass and after mass they'd have adoration so I'd just stick around for a little bit and pray I remember feeling something come into me and I was like I had never experienced this before it was just something that made life more beautiful it was something that made life like more exciting it gave more meaning more purpose and it wasn't about me this thing that was inside of me it was calling me out of me and I would and I wanted to keep it and every time I go and hang out with my friends it would go away and then when I go to Mass it come back and I said I'm sick of it leaving I want it to stay and so one night this is the this is the turning point of everything one night my buddies and I went out to another gathering and as we were there same stuff just it's such a waste of time and it's so stupid it's so fruitless and it's all about you and all it does is build vice and make you just eventually hate life I know a lot of people think it's yeah but eventually the end of that is death its death I know that a very serious note here I know that because six six of my high school friends are dead six are dead mmm and it's all because of that lifestyle when st. John says that the wages of sin is death he means it he doesn't just mean this spiritual death because once the spirits dead body's got nothing for there's no meaning anymore so I was sitting there I was like you know what I'm done with this so I go out to my buddies I'm like hey I want to go home they're like well we're not leaving so you can go I was like it's like five miles so let's just walk like thanks friends so I walked home is the most beautiful walk in my entire life I felt like I was floating on air I was singing I must have looked like I was like completely drunk totally sober but just laughing I'm like talking to Jesus people crazy and as I'm going I'm just like this is the best like I feel so I finally feels something like this is it this is what I want this is what I want to do this is it and all of a sudden this second time I heard God's voice mmm I heard as I was walking by the Newman Center in Fargo I heard go inside to the point to the point not this little like interior voice to the point where I turn around I was like um okay so I keep walking go inside I'm like okay time out you know I'm like looking under bushes because it was it was that loud and it was forceful and I'm like this is stupid like I'm losing my mind you know I'm sorry I just keep my third one go inside to the point you have when your dad he tells you something more than once and there comes a point when he really means it and you know that he really means it and you do it because if you don't bad things are gonna happen so I was like okay okay I'm going chill out it's gonna cuz it my point if the things go through my head it's gonna be locked right it's gonna be locked it's like it was like 1:00 in the morning so I go up but I'm like it's it's gonna be locked do whatever you are you know I'm like it's gonna be it's open you know and I walk inside I'm like crap so I'm sitting there in a like you know I was a real smart aleck even with God I was like now what you know and I didn't hear anything external but there was just there was a sense inside of me that just said pick up and read pick up and read and I was walking down the center aisle and the only light that was on was on the tabernacle this is not gonna pick up and read pick up and read and like read what I'm like what should i I'm not kidding you there's a Bible Lane open on the Pew you know at this time again my pegging this I'm like I don't think I want to read that but I know that's the Bible and they say that's God's Word and I don't know so I sit down and I pick it up and it's from the first chapter of John that's what my eyes fell on and it says the apostles were following this was James and Andrew or John and Andrew we're following Jesus from a distance and that right there that hit I was following Jesus from the distance I didn't want to get too close to him because I didn't know what he was gonna do I didn't think I thought maybe he take everything away from me I thought he my friends would make fun of me I so I kept him in it I liked him but I kept him at a distance and then said Jesus turned around and looked at them and I'm not kidding at that moment I saw the face of Christ look at me and said what are you looking for and internally I said it was just like what are you looking for man you've tried everything what are you looking for and I said I want to see what it's like to not live for me and then it says the next line jesus replied come and see come and see and at that time I will admit for about two hours I just wept the Lord Jesus Christ said to me if you're sick of living for yourself just come and see what it's like to live for me come check it out and from that point on I graduated from college I went down I applied for the seminary I went into the seminary and I went in with this mindset Jesus you just tell me to leave I want to get married so you just tell me to leave and he never told me to leave and I'm telling you right here I can stand before you as a witness not because I want you to be priests and sisters and a life of gee a life lived for Jesus Christ is the most exciting life that exists in this world because it's the most unpredictable you don't have any control and it's what we're so dang afraid of in the modern day and age we want control I got to provide for myself I got to get as much possible stuff as I can so I'll be happy when happy - that's never true the more stuff you have to quote the great rapper biggie smalls the more stuff you have the more problems you have it's the only thing that idiot got right more money more problems more stuff more problems the free person the person that experiences this life as it should be experienced is the person that doesn't have anything the person that's completely surrendered everything that's detached from everything that lives for others and I can witness to this to you tonight because I have lived it I have lived it and I know the truth about this life and I want to save you from heartache and pain and so your choices in this life are the most important thing that you're gonna do and every day you were either choosing for God or against God and the great God is the source of life and the more you choose against him the less meaning your life has the more you choose for him the more meaning in your life has and you might sit back right now and say father you're an idiot you don't know what you're talking about trust me I know what's going on I know what makes me happy you think you know what makes you happy but I'm begging you I'm begging you two things two things I ask of you tonight and these will make all the difference in your life that you never stop going to Sunday Mass and that you never stop going to confession God will get his way in your life if you never stop doing those with a heart that desires Jesus that's that's it you guys I'm asking two things a combined total in one week will take about an hour and 10 minutes an hour and 10 minutes is all you got to do and Jesus will get his way in your life there's freedom there and there's beauty there I never I never dreamed where Jesus would take me never dreamed the life I would have and it's the greatest life I could have possibly imagined and was all a gift

Channel: Bismarck Diocese

Views: 111,679

Rating: 4.9007092 out of 5

Keywords: Catholic, Church, Bismarck, Diocese, Diocese of Bismarck, Bishop Kagan, Kagan, Vocation (Quotation Subject), Roman Catholic Church (Religious Organization), vocation story, Priest (Occupation), Priesthood (Profession), vocation director, Catholic priest, vocations, What do priests do?, Is God calling me to be a priest?, should i be a priest?

Id: JqATi2zbaBw

Length: 55min 23sec (3323 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 06 2013