For anyone feeling like a failure.

there's something inside of me that I've struggled with for a long long time I'm addicted to validation I care about what people think I want people to like what I say and like who I am there have been periods in my own life where I've based my own sense of my own value off of what other people think how many people are watching my work and I think I care so much about this topic because I'm terrified of the flip side I am terrified of humiliation of ridicule and rejection I don't like that I operate this way the part of me that is afraid is the part of me that wants to control what other people think of me but I know that's not possible I know that's not how any of this works I don't want to talk down to any of you and say look I used to deal with this but now I know how to not give a [ __ ] about other people's validation because that's not true I still struggle with this but there is an idea that helps me navigate this for much of my life I've looked at things in a sort of binary optic there's winning and losing there's right and wrong there's good and bad we see this in sports somebody has to win same for election taught this in school and religious texts we tell this to ourselves and each other and I see the validation attached to winning to being right to being good and I often judge myself against that standard and I judge myself very harshly because I'm not always winning I'm not always right I'm not always good I mess up a lot and I'm very unkind with myself when I do and that's almost like making it doubly worse you know it's almost like multiplying the pain interesting thing though is that as I get older as I'm looking more closely at this I'm realizing that there is another option a third choice and this is what that is in culture throughout history you find something a little bit bizarre despite coming from different time periods and different civilizations there are recurring characters and these characters fictional characters stories that are told are models for people for Behavior the famous Swiss psychiatrist young had a name for this he called them archetypes and his theory of archetypes stated that this was like innate human knowledge that was passed down from our ancestors now he himself landed on 12 archetypes okay and there are variations on all the characters but then there's also plenty of other sets of archetypes the Greek gods were another set for example Enneagram is another set of nine there's no exact number this is just a method for organizing patterns in human behavior and psychology why am I talking about archetypes well an archetype is a set of ideas an approach to life if you will and there's one archetype that I'm obsessed with lately it's an archetype that speaks to me and that I think holds great wisdom and that archetype is the fool allow me to explain I really think this idea is going to resonate with a lot of you and offer a different approach to life I think for most people the immediate association with the fool is negative it's this sort of stupid character you know to act foolishly is to act in a way that is unwise with bad judgment but it isn't that simple that's one interpretation of the fool quickly though my perspective on the fool changed as I began to dig a little bit deeper the fool dot thinking is wise but the wise man knows himself to be a fool that's Shakespeare and it's one of my favorite quotes I think of all time the character that says that line is touched on he's the Court Jester the wise man knows himself to be a fool basically the insinuation there is that maybe we're all fools I find this extremely fascinating check this out throw cards are often used for fortune telling maybe you already heard of them maybe you had your fortune already told with tarot cards but the interesting thing is that they weren't originally for that they were originally playing cards and in this particular application I'm not very interested in their fortune telling use I'm much more interested in their symbolism they originally come from Italy in the 15th century and over the centuries a sort of mysticism has been developed around them and in every deck of turtle cards is a fool now there are 78 cards in a deck and we can split them into two categories the major and minor Arcana there are 56 minor Arcana cards and they Loosely correspond with the modern day poker card deck that you're likely a lot more familiar with and then there are 22 major Arcana cards and they're numbered from 0 to 21. the major Arcana represents what we all share in life and the very first card in that set of 22 cards is the fool the number associated with the fool is zero it's neither negative nor positive it's a blank slate it represents Beginnings unrealized potential the fool is commonly depicted as a beggar or a vagabond very few possessions in many esoteric systems of torocard interpretation there's a theory if you will the fool is interpreted as a protagonist of a story and the remaining 22 cards of the major Arcana represent the path that the full takes to the great mysteries of life it's a metaphor life is a Fool's Journey an experience that a person must incorporate to realize the potential to realize their wholeness in this way the fool is actually a hero and the fool makes for an ideal hero because they're unafraid to aim high to face the unknown to try new things and therefore they are deserving of change in the most common depiction of this character in a Tarot deck it's this young man who's standing at the edge of a cliff and only a fool would go over that Cliff right only a fool would embark on the journey if they knew really that contained if they knew what was in store for them and yet they go for it anyway it is through attempting things and through failure the fool gains experience to me the Fool's a reminder a reminder of the extraordinary transformational quality of curiosity curiosity is not just for the naive it's powerful life actually doesn't just have to be about success and failure it can simply be a series of experiences to be had the fool doesn't let these things stop them from going on their journey and there's tremendous weight that is lifted off my shoulders when I allow myself to fail it is this fear of failure I think that paralyzes me it is this thing that constricts me that makes my world smaller I'm afraid to be a fool I'm afraid to let myself be ridiculed to make mistakes I'm afraid to be misunderstood but we all feel misunderstood sometimes we're all fools when you Embrace that the world opens up in such a spectacular way I wear myself out by worrying so much what other people think but the fool is a reminder that there's another way the fool is not afraid of being seen as silly or stupid or just simply be misunderstood it is only when I analyze these feelings very closely that I realize that I'm clinging on to something that I cannot control I cannot control what other people think of me I cannot control how the world perceives the things that I make or do when you make something and you release it out into the world it is no longer yours people are free to come to the conclusions that they come to and this too is liberating because in many ways somebody's conclusions say more about them than they do about you I feel like in many ways the pursuit of greatness is blinding and it can lead you to miss the point of course I'm saying this to myself more than anybody else and I find myself often looking for a modus operandi that can help me navigate the criticism of others this approval of others and there are a few things that resonate more deeply with than this archetype the fool does not wait for permission the inner fool is a liberator because he does not allow you to take yourself so seriously I've been looking for answers my entire life and to be honest with you if anything it just feels like I have more questions than ever I think our only choice is to do as the fool does and take each day as it comes and to treat life as one long game we may all be addicted to validation I know I certainly am but I still aim not to let that deter me from embarking on the journey that I meant to go on that I think is what it truly means to be the fool I want to talk briefly about the sponsor of this video skillshare who have been giant supporters of my work for years now super grateful for their support and I've been a long time believer in using the internet as a way to feed your curiosity to learn new things I've said this before and I'll say it again it's been incredible to witness the evolution of this website and how far it has come over the years skillshare offers a tremendous amount of courses on a variety of topics everything from filmmaking to photography to journaling it's a great resource for tapping into your own creativity you can learn motion design on there you can learn how to play the guitar there are actually three courses that I've made that are available uniquely on skillshare one is on how to find your voice online one is on how to speak comfortably on camera and I also made one on how to document your life in an intentional way I think it's a very powerful tool for finding meaning in all of your experiences you can get a free month trial if you use the link in the description consider checking them out it really does support my work thank you skillshare for your support and thanks to all of you for watching foreign the courage to be disliked a message to anyone struggling under the weight of criticism you will be disliked try as you might they will never be pleased the more you bend the more they shall ask for until there is none of you left [Music] where then do you find the strength to Bear their knives their indignation and fury their disappointment how can you stand on your own two feet as they call you names their actions may spark Rage or sadness or fear in your heart do not let this stop you from putting down the shield do not defend yourself or fight back no matter how much you make for it be naked so that the blinding light of your North Star May Shine On Your Skin do not Harden your heart your heart needs no protection no matter how much they claim to dislike you let them discredit you misconstrue your words spit on your name be the fool the words say nothing of who you are or where you'll go a beautiful Adventure awaits you so long as you open yourself up more and more until you tell you even the angriest amongst them the dagger that might kill you only then will you find that they cannot do what they want to you if you bury your soul the house may burn you will be free [Music] foreign

Channel: Nathaniel Drew

Views: 166,732

Keywords: validation, the fool, wisdom of the fool, the fool archetype, fool, fool's journey, what is the fool, archetypes, jung, jungian archetypes, archetypal lessons, what is my archetype, what can we learn from the archetypes, ruining your life, motivation, mental clarity, nathaniel drew, nathaniel drew mental clarity, seeking validation, how to be a better version of yourself, the tarots, tarot cards, for people feeling like a failure, how to overcome failure

Id: wknpnAJChYM

Length: 10min 12sec (612 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 18 2022