Flat Earth: A Measured Response

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Whilst i applaud the effort, as i do when most breadtubers create well made videos, i think this Sartre quote has relevance:

"Never believe that anti‐ Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti‐Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past. It is not that they are afraid of being convinced. They fear only to appear ridiculous or to prejudice by their embarrassment their hope of winning over some third person to their side."

I think that perfectly sums up the anti-intellectualism and related anti-SJWs of today.

(I did enjoy it though, in a 'eating a whole box of muffins in one morning' way)

👍︎︎ 119 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

ALL HAIL LORD SOBEK

👍︎︎ 210 👤︎︎ u/mostlycharmless9 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

At first I was skeptical of why he bothered with such a zany group as flat-earthers but the conclusion to the video brought it full circle in an elegant, important way.

👍︎︎ 146 👤︎︎ u/saintnixon 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

Loved the Philosophy Tube cameo

👍︎︎ 143 👤︎︎ u/ayyndrew 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

Philosophy Tube and Upisnotjump in one video? I like it, too bad he cut Big Money Salvia and Jen though.

👍︎︎ 69 👤︎︎ u/dacdan1 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

I found with his videos, you have to push through the first half+ of "okay, but who gives a shit" before it turns out it was a great video to begin with.

I love it, for the same reason I love Natalie's Incels, because it doesn't vilify those people everyone likes to shit on, including me. Those people have honest feelings and intentions and that has to be tent to, not just by the right, which has been excellent at exploiting them.

It's makes reacting hard though, when you see someone who is talking racist/homophobic/or other inhumane crap. What's good praxis now?

Shut that person down, harsh, and stop them from spreading further bs violently (not talking physical violence here). Or do you tent to them with some understanding and try to include them to our world.

Seriously, the right is excellent at the latter, in their fucked way, we should do it better too! We need those ordinary-people racists / homophobes / etc to swing to our side. At least those who are not too far gone.

👍︎︎ 26 👤︎︎ u/ThisIsMeRightThere 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

When I first saw more and more people talking about the Flat Earth Theory on social media, I thought it was supposed to be an ironic thing that everyone was in on and that the joke was "lol no one could actually believe this stuff." But then someone I know IRL turned out to be an unironic Flat Earther who stopped talking to me when I giggled at the idea of a Flat Earth convention, and then I realized the whole thing wasn't as ironic as I thought and I got worried.

Great video by the way lol.

👍︎︎ 51 👤︎︎ u/NSFDoubleBlue 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

When he was showing the lunar lander shirt dude I almost had to stop. The cringe was so bad. How does that guy have no self awareness.

👍︎︎ 45 👤︎︎ u/nstern2 📅︎︎ Jan 01 2019 🗫︎ replies

Hbomb brought up something at the end that I wish someone in LeftTube would talk about more. As he said, people flock to these ideas on some level because it gives them something to hold on to, something to help explain why things are the way there are, and why it sucks. It is the same reason that, on some level, I think people (specifically early 20s white dudes) join up with alt-right and reactionary movements. It gives them an easy way to understand why they're broke and unhappy and can't get a girlfriend and why they're so isolated. And in addition, it gives them a community and a family, and I feel that's even more important honestly.

Flat Earthers have a community, they have Facebook pages, they share memes with one another, they have a convention, they've got pillars of the community like Mark Sargent. Its something the Left could really learn from. I think we should learn to be a community more, we should learn to support one another and be out in the world and have conventions and love one another just a little bit more. Cuz nobody's gonna learn about the left or wanna join the left if its all just arguments about praxis or theory and no actual action or involvement. Flat Earthers manage to have followers for a reason.

I know the above wasn't the precise point of Hbomb's video, but it got me thinking about all that. Just my 00.02.

👍︎︎ 12 👤︎︎ u/mandolin6648 📅︎︎ Jan 02 2019 🗫︎ replies
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[blissful serenity] [haggard groaning] Hello! It's me! That guy who does those videos! VERY OCCASIONALLY Aw, man, geez! I love balls! Did you know that as of, maybe, two hundred years ago, everyone thought that the Earth was flat? Aaah, that's actually a joke! I tricked you! It's a pop cultural myth! People have thought that the Earth was a sphere... ...more specifically, an "oblate spheroid", for, hundreds, if not thousands, of years, if you accept Ptolemy's writing as evidence of that speculation. [Ptolemaic raspberry] For, at the very least, hundreds of years now, it's been pretty much widely accepted that the Earth is a globe, which means that the modern Flat Earth movements that exist aren't contiguous with any past movement. These people aren't regressives who want to go back to a certain set of beliefs. These people are *progressives*. They believe in science and reason and evidence. They want understanding of the earth to move forwards—off of the edge of a cliff! Which theoretically exists now! The Earth might have an edge! *That's* exciting! And today I wanted to look at some of these people's reasons for their beliefs, their evidence, and I wanted to see what we, as independent thinkers, can make of their findings. See you in hell, you little LIEBALL! Nyaah! Oh, fuck! Oh, J-, aww, Jesus. So, I'm not kidding about Flat-Earther-ism being recent. There are numerous Flat Earth societies that have been around for, like, 200 years, but usually they're just a couple of people now, just keeping the lights on, and even then, they were seen as weirdos by most people. Then, on Facebook in the early years, there were people who were, like, opening joke pages, pretending to be a Flat Earth society, and it was just people having fun making silly, sort-of fake memes, and, it *is*, let's all admit, VERY FUNNY to call someone a "GLOBEHEAD". But then, I don't know, society utterly fucking collapsed when I wasn't looking or something, because now, in addition to some people believing that the free market is real and a good idea, some people believe the much less harmful and ridiculous fairy tale that the Earth is flat. As of 2015, Flat Earth membership has grown massively, and now there's even a full Flat Earth Convention! With people flying in from all to take part and pool their collective knowledge. Even some celebrities have voiced support for the movement, like Logan Paul, who's universally known for making well-thought-out decisions and famous rapper... Little Robbie currently has a GoFundMe up, asking for a million dollars to send up drones and weather balloons and satellites and rockets and stuff, and I kind of admire his, uh, commitment to science. He's really willing to put other people's money where his mouth is and find out the shape of the Earth. But what caused Bob to think the Earth was flat in the first place? Let's find out and dive into the first documentary I saw while I was researching Flat Earth, Odd TVs "The True Earth": - [Odd TV] (MORPHEUS) Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison for your mind. Buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye. - [Hbomb] (BORED) "Take the red pill, like in The Matrix. The Matrix is a good movie." Oh God, I've gotta make out that Night in the Woods video. - [Odd TV] Our daily observations of the Earth are consistent with a flat and stationary surface. Most, if not all, ancient civilizations knew that the Earth was flat. - [Hbomb] Okay, that's an interesting start. Um... Okay, so, philosophers and linguists and discourse-ists and those "Ivory Tower Marxists" I've heard so much about argue incessantly on the concepts of knowledge and truth... They're all wrong, and I'm right, and here's how it works: people don't simply "know" things. People *believe* something to be true or, to put it another way, they *think* they know something. What Odd TV actually means here is that most ancient civilizations, or at least some of them, depending on how far back you go, *thought* they knew the Earth was flat. And he's ascribing "KNOWLEDGE" to them so that they "DEFINITELY KNEW THIS" in order to make it seem more credible that that thing is true. - [Odd TV] The people of today would say that ancient cultures were ignorant and unaware, yet they accomplished great feats that we still can't accomplish to this day. - [Hbomb] (UNIMPRESSED) The ancient Egyptians built the Pyramids, so how could they be wrong about unrelated issues? The ancient Egyptians that Pharaohs were living incarnations of a humanoid god with a crocodile's head named who was the 'Lord of Semen' and helped the sun move through the sky, presumably, by...blasting it with...sperm. The ancient Egyptians this thousands of years ago, and yet every year, we deny the Sperm Lord his offerings of mummified crocodiles, (MARIK ISHTAR VOICE) and once more we THREATEN TO AWAKEN HIS ANGER!!!! - [Odd TV] Those of you who think this technical difficulty was planned... - [Hbomb] Oh! I forgot about this part! This video, in particular, is great because, okay, spoilers, there aren't *that many* pro-Flat-Earth arguments. There's a couple of people who keep trying to come up with new ones, but, really, there's, like, five main ones, and then everyone keeps, kind of, ripping them off and... rewording them and coming up with slightly different ways of saying the same thing over and over again, and *this* documentary goes one step further and, rather than remaking those arguments for an 18th millionth time, it actually just borrows clips from videos people have already made. It's great. - [Odd TV] This is live on the air, okay? I'm gonna zoom in on the Earth in Photoshop, -> Image -> Adjust -> Levels, and I'm gonna bring the levels up. Uh oh! What is *that*? Why is there a square box around the Earth, allegedly taken from the "scientists" on the Moon in Apollo 17? And people wonder why I don't trust NASA. *That's* why I don't trust NASA! - [Odd TV] I mean, they're always asking me, saying... - [Hbomb] Uh, wait a second, mate, wait, wait, w— Hold on a second. Let me get my mouse. Let's quickly create a new image. Let's make it 3000 x 3000 pixels, 72 pixels per inch. Let's do a DEEP FAKE! Let's fake our own PALE, BLUE DOT!! That's not it. It's not a dot. You gotta hold Shift to make it perfectly circular. Don't make *that* mistake next time, globalists! Ooo, look, that's some Thaaat's an ocean, ahh, that's the land we all live on! That's *exactly* what Ptolemy's map looked like... [Ptolemaic spitting] So, if we were to do this adjustment right here with with the image levels... turn it all the way up... You'll see that there's no, uh...nothing, nothing goes up. Nothing goes up at all. Wow, look. If only they'd properly cut the Earth out, NASA could've gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling Photoshop users!! Let's save it as a JPEG and let's make it medium compression. So, this is, like, an average amount of JPEG compression for an image on the Internet. Now, let's, let's quickly open up our Untitled 1.jpg in Photoshop ourselves. Now, let's tuuuurn the levels up. Ohhhhhhh, my God! Ohhh, my God!! It's a Fake Earth Picture that wasn't cut out properly!!! It's JPEG compression, you fucking idiot. Okay, I'm already incredibly bored of this documentary. It's the same music clip playing over and over for 30 minutes, and, and it's jarring, having all these other voices that just, kind of, come in... It's... it's just not... it's just not very well-made, and I've decided to just move on to other people's videos, which usually make the same point anyway. We might even run into one of the videos that they stole! But one thing I do want to bring up is, uh, a meme that I saw posted here first, and I've seen it around since then, towards the end of the documentary, and when I was watching the first time, I had to pause and just kind of laugh at it. It's... it's this picture here. It's *so* fascinating. It's *so direct*, and it doesn't get what it's really saying. Like, just, maybe don't brag *too* triumphantly about how you... YOU DON'T READ BOOKS. Anyway, one of the main folks credited with getting the BALL ROLLING in Flat Earth... ...that's a little joke from me to you... is, uh, Mark Sargent and his video series entitled "Flat Earth Clues". I've now heard about two or three dozen people say that this series is what really got them into the whole thing and taking it seriously. (READING) "Are we inside a Truman Show enclosed world thousands of miles wide?" (MOCKING) "It's just like in 'The Truman Show.'" Oh, God... No, no, be nice. Be nice. "Growing up on South Whidbey Island, Washington, Mark Sargent started his career playing computer games professionally in Boulder, Colorado. Oh great, a fellow gamer! He *must* be reasonable! Early in 2015 he released a series of YouTube videos titled "Flat Earth Clues", which delves into the possibility of our human civilization actually being inside a Truman-Show-like enclosed syst— ...you already said "Truman Show" earlier in the description. Like...at least reference a *different* movie. In other words, *this* is the video series that everyone else is cribbing from. So we should probably check it out, shouldn't we? (ELDRITCH VOICE) Two hours... (NORMAL) I've always wanted to d o this joke, and this actually took me two hours. Well, *that* was a waste of time. Okay, I've now watched Mark's entire 14-part (plus extras) series about how the Earth is flat, which took a couple of hours... and...what really jumps out at me is how shockingly boring and unconvincing it is. Like, you'd think "this is the original one!" "This is the one that got 'em!"...and it's a slideshow with, like, a guy kinda rambling, and he talks like he...he's REALLY convinced. He KNOWS the Truth! And I assume people, uh, believe this because they're like "well, he...he *sounds* really into it! He must...he must be onto something!" But it's... it's, like...really, REALLY unconvincing. In order to summarize the point in any one of those videos that they make, you would have to edit around...and cut across in time so much to kind of... formulate the actual point so much that it would feel deceptive, like I'm, sort of, pulling some kind of trick by... trying to get to the point he's making in a simpler way. And the evidence that he refers to is so thin on the ground, that it doesn't even meet any burden of proof for it to be something that I would need to debunk anyway. "Part 7", for example, "Long Haul", is the one that really sticks out to me. It takes him 10 minutes to effectively say "I looked up some flights and I think they show the Earth is flat. That's...that's *all* he had to say, but it takes... TEN MINUTES. I promised myself, when I was researching something like Flat Earth, that I would try and find the strongest possible versions of any argument that I responded to or debunked, because, with a movement as...as big and full of all kinds of, sort of, amateur people as Flat Earth, it's very easy to find someone making the point very badly and go "HAH!" and then pretend you've discredited the entire argument, and I don't want to do that. And I just want to acknowledge here that it's really weird that the guy everyone credits with "getting them in on it" is... The videos are BAD! Like, watch them, please! If you can stand it. It's just not very well put together, and that's just a bit weird to me, 'cuz they're suppose... they're supposed to be the best ones! Take the "Long-haul Flight" one I mentioned already. Two months after that came out, someone who's clearly seen that one has already honed the point that Sargent was trying to make down into one that's actually a good video, and that video has, like, six times more views. We'll get to that video in a second, but first, *if* the globe model *is* wrong, what's the alternative? I think it's time we looked at what a Flat Earth map actually looks like. This is a poster I had made of Gleason's New Standard Map of the World. It was made in the late 1800s... and it shows (what purports to be) what the Earth *actually* looks like when it's flat. Now, this isn't the *exact* map that Flat Earthers use. What they use is a *version* of this that's projected the same way. There are lots of different ways you can project Planet Earth. The Gleason map and other supposedly "slightly more accurate and realistic" Flat Earth maps aren't actually just made up from something. They're based on a type of map projection that already existed, known as: *Not* named for its creator, because I just made that guy up. And that projection method isn't completely useless. It's not just a silly picture. It's good for being able to tell what angle and distance you are from the North Pole. This is *really* accurate to where you are in relation to the North Pole, especially compared to other projections, where the North Pole is, like, the wrong size or in the wrong place, because, otherwise, you wouldn't be able to see it properly, because flat maps are just inherently always a bit wrong. It also, as you can see, looks pretty nice. In fact, a stylized version of this projection is used as the logo for the, uh, UN. Because they're in on it. Obviously. The most notable things about this map: the North Pole is now *directly* in the center of the Earth, and...instead of there being a South Pole anywhere, it's now encircling the entire Earth in a giant wall of ice. Now, I know you're thinking: "does this map hold any water?" And the answer is: "That's what the ice is for!" By the way, does that mean global warming is now, like, way, way worse? Because, like... ...if the ice wall melted, all the water would flow out, and...we'd all die of...No-Water-Itis. I mean, on...on Globe Earth, we'd all just drown and then boil instead. YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! Another "feature" of this map is that what used to be the Southern Hemisphere is now much further away from *itself*, as it were. Australia is now *much* further away from Africa or South America. And...also, everything is increasingly distorted the further out you get. Australia is now much, much wider than it used to be, even though people have actually measured Australia, and it's about as long as it is wide. But clearly Sobek got to those guys too. How does this affect travel? Because... Obviously, now that all the shapes and distances are very different, especially in the Southern Hemisphere, surely, flight plans would be affected by this? They'd have to account for the non-curvature of the Earth and everything being in a different place. Well, luckily, this is something Mark Sargent and the clever Disc Boys at the Flat Earth Society say actually makes MORE sense on a flat Earth! MMMMMMMMM?! Here's a video entitled: "The Earth is FLAT ~The planes help to prove the plane". It's got over 900,000 views. This is the video that I would say is something of an improvement on the arguments that Mark Sargent makes in his video, entitled: "Long Haul". The arguments are still wrong, but they're made better, so points for that. Plus, that pun. I mean, oh boy. He looks up trips from Sydney, Australia, to Santiago, Chile, and notes that getting there requires multiple stops at other airports that are relatively out of the way and inefficient on the Globe Model, but on the Flat Earth Model, they form an almost straight line. - [rollingthunder42] You have to actually get up into the Northern Hemisphere and then come back down. So, that doesn't make any sense. So, I mapped it on the Flat Earth map, and...whoa! - [Hbomb] (VERY IMPRESSED) "Whoa." This is a huge thing for Flat Earthers, because, unlike all the stuff they have to just ignore or prove is a big lie that didn't happen, this is something which, supposedly, proves that the Flat Earth Model is true. Mark Sargent says this is the thing you should start with if you're trying to explain the whole thing to someone. - [Sargent] If you are looking to show someone how to view the Flat Earth from a practical point of view, *this* is the example I would use. - [Hbomb] (WEARY) Mark, you could have *started* with that and not waited until Part 7, like, an hour in. Please, hire an editor! There are so many counterpoints to this, I don't know where to start, really. I suppose we should start with It makes far more business sense for airlines to offer shorter connecting flights that can be used as part of a wider trip than ONE direct flight to the ONE place that ONE group of people might happen to go. You know airports aren't magic? Like, it takes a certain amount of time for a plane to take off and land on a runway, and there's only so many runways. You think London City Airport, with its miniscule, piddly little has the time to furnish flights to Chile? What...what are you...what are you talking about, mate?! That said, that doesn't mean that long-distance flights like this never happen. There's actually a direct flight from Sydney to Santiago: Qantas QF27. It goes non-stop and takes *way* less time than the non-direct routes. On a Flat Earth map, QF27 would take far *longer* than the supposedly direct paths, and also, the distance would be so much longer that the plane would run out of fuel and crash in the ocean. How does this guy deal with the existence of this flight or a flight with just one connection that doesn't go the direct route on a Flat Earth map? Well, they actually *do* pop up on his flight tracker. That's the first clue I found to these flights existing. - [rollingthunder42] But I don't think this flight ever takes off. Uh, it's available only Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, also. ..to kind of pinch you out and make you do something different. - [Hbomb] He *actually* says that they're not...real. - [rollingthunder42] I don't think either one of these two flights are real. Um, they're just kind of there to... um, keep guys like me from figuring this shit out. - [Hbomb] He sees through Qantas' dastardly trick to... sell tickets to a plane THAT'S REAL. You can...you can WATCH...there's...FOOTAGE OF THE FLIGHT! Look, why would Qantas do all of this just to make people think that the Earth was a globe?! W... what do they get from that? Like, what's the...? I... (PERPLEXED) I don't understand! The guy tries to do Johannesburg to Perth, too. - [rollingthunder42] And, once again, we only have one non-stop. -[Hbomb] (WHISPERING) Almost as if there's...reasons why you wouldn't have that many flights going that one direct flight...almost. - [rollingthunder42] Uh, these two in black...this is, uh, non-stop that they have to Perth, but the reason I put these in black is because I don't think they exist either. - [Hbomb] Oh, no, of course not. I mean, I've actually met someone who's been on that flight, but whatever! Maybe they're in on it too. Maybe I'M in on it, too. HAIL, SOBEK! We need to keep everyone thinking the Earth is a globe! That way we can... Um, uh, hang on. One second... *phone dials* Yeah, why are we doing this again? - [Lord Sobek the Bountiful] Ehhh, I thought it would be funny. - [Hbomb] When he maps those supposed "more direct" trips he found onto the Flat Earth, and by I mean "draws shit, squiggly lines that in no way match up with the flight plans", one of them doesn't make sense on the Flat Earth either. It goes all the way out of the way to Sydney before it doubles back and heads to Perth. - [rollingthunder42] Uh, these are all the flights to Sydney. So, it still looks like a pretty long shot to Sydney. Um, but who knows? Maybe...maybe *this* map isn't even correct. Who knows? I don't know. - [Hbomb] (GIGGLING) mmm hmm? MMM HMM? MAYBE...! Maybe... THIS MAP. OF THE FLAT EARTH. ISN'T. CORRECT. MAYBE IT'S TH— (LAUGHS) ...maybe... (CHORTLES) Another thing Flat Earthers dispute is the curvature of the Earth. I mean, if it's flat, it can't be curved, can it? Well, I guess it could be slightly convex, but they don't bring that up for some reason. The main way they do this consists of filming horizons or finding footage of horizons and saying: "WELL, I DON'T SEE A CURVE!" Which, uh, you can't see the curvature that close to the ground. Perspective doesn't work that way. And then they go on to assert that all footage that *does* show a curvature from high up is faked, either on purpose by, like, movie studios working for NASA, or accidentally, through flaws in camera equipment. Some types of wide-angle camera lenses distort perspective, and almost all small action cameras, like GoPros, have very wide-angle lenses to film as much as possible. The assertion Flatties then make is: "Well, the appearance of a curvature is therefore the result of looking at the flat horizon with *these* lenses, and if you correct the footage, the Earth is *clearly* actually flat, Like in this video by the channel called "Flat Earth", although, apparently, its original name was "TheMrKingTuts"...? *Someone* rebranded. (MARIK ISHTAR VOICE) Where's the curvature of the Earth? NONE OF YOU CAN DEBUNK *THIS* VIDEO! Anyone with half a brain can see how they use deceptive wide-angle fish-eye lenses to deceive you—" (NORMAL VOICE ) You can't use the word "deceive" twice in a sentence. That just doesn't scan. Oh, and in keeping with Flat Earthers' just copying each other all the time, this video is literally just taken from another channel. Now, in my opinion, this is the actual closest that Flat Earthers have ever got to actually being right about, uh, anything. Here's a quick test I did with my old GoPro. The GoPro's wide lens means it can see a lot at once. In fact, it even saw the trash I was sure would be out of the shot and didn't bother picking up. However, this perspective is distorted. I can tell you right now my floor is flat and doesn't curve downwards here. As I move the GoPro closer to this totally normal-shaped Sex Museum postcard, we can see the distortion become even more exaggerated. The beautiful Pride flag is ruined! It looks like Graham Linehan has touched it. This is me holding a measuring tape, just to give another reference. The curvature of the Earth is definitely susceptible to being exaggerated by wide-angle lenses, but like with JPEG artifacts, you can't just move a slider and say "ah ha it proves them right!" It's not— I'm gonna use my video editing magical skills again to show you something. There isn't, like, a magic "Fix Fisheye Lens" button in a video editor. Whenever I've had to correct fisheye-lens footage for a video. I've had to do it by using an effect that corrects distortion and then dialing in the angles manually. And this stuff is really hard to do by eye. The best technique for doing this is to find something you know is *supposed* to be flat and then correct until it *looks* flat. See? That tape turned out to be there for a reason. A clever trick! I'm gonna give you three guesses...what...part...of the footage...Flat Earthers use... when they are trying to correct footage to prove that the Earth is flat... Did you... did you get it? It's hard to see, but the correction is *clearly* too much if you know what to look for. On the ground, certain things curve in weird directions just slightly, and, at certain angles during the video, the earth starts to look slightly *concave*. - [Odd TV] Our daily observations of the Earth are consistent with a flat and stationary surface. - [Hbomb] I just want to acknowledge how fucking funny it was when I was watching this documentary for the first time, and it fades from a thing saying "OUR WORLD IS FLAT!" and... it's a wide-angle shot that's not been corrected properly, so it looks like it's curved. It's fucking... it looks like the planet is CONCAVE. How do you fuck it up *this* bad? From this high up, the Earth's curvature would, in fact, *be* visible, but probably *very* slight. You'd have to use a ruler to make sure. But *exactly* how curved it would have been is hard to tell because of the nature of the footage filmed with these lenses. - [Chris Madsen] You know, the reality is: the Earth is flat. You can't actually see the curvature of the Earth from the window of a passenger plane. They don't go high enough to show more than, like, a degree or two, basically. You *can* see the curvature of the horizon, but only from high up, and I mean REALLY high up. Not airline high, not even Mary Jane high, I'm talking U2 high. Come on in here, Not that U2, silly! Ha! We have fun. I mean, of course, the Lockheed U-2, a high-altitude spy plane used by the US government. You might remember the U-2 for: 1. It's operating height of 70,000 feet [21,336 m], almost three times the height of a commercial aircraft! 2. Violating international law numerous times! 3. Getting caught violating international law numerous times when it turned out it wasn't very good at spying! 4. Getting shot down over the Soviet Union in 1960! 5. Getting shot shot down in 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis and contributing to the Cold War nearly escalating into full-scale nuclear war! Luckily, the US government gave up on illegally spying on other nations with a shit plane they can see in 197—, sorry... 198— wait, hang on... *googles it* THEY'RE *STILL* USING IT!!! Here's James May, the least shit guy from Top Gear, taking a ride in one. You can see that at You can see that, at conventional airplane heights, the horizon is fairly flat. Hopefully, this early shot of the horizon looking really flat establishes that the lenses aren't distorting anything here. As he reaches the maximum height, the atmosphere stops being breathable, and the sky starts to turn black. At the higher altitudes, we can finally see both the... *staggering* beauty of our little, blue world, but also a slight, yet pronounced, curve on the horizon. So, I think it's fair to say that, in conclusion: "Ha haa, the Earth's curved slightly! I win!" This has just been a brief rundown of the Flat Earth points that I feel are, at least, *more* credible than the rest. They get increasingly weird and tangential from here on out. For example, almost all Flat Earthers say that the Moon Landing was faked, because, if we actually went to the Moon and took pictures of the Earth, and it showed that the Earth was a globe because it's in different positions in different pictures... Pbbbth, we can't have done *that*! So, the Moon Landing has to all be faked with the extra caveat that goes on top of the regular Moon Landing conspiracies, which is that it was all done simply to make people think the Earth was round for some reason. They try and counter the fact that you can't see things on the other side of the horizon by claiming that cameras with long enough zoom lenses, like the Nikon P900, can actually show things that should be *behind* the horizon, which, uh... ...no. (SNICKERS) That's not what's happening! The camera can see *further* than your disgusting human eyes! Which...I thought the point was they were the only things you could trust! But no, apparently, *now* we're supposed to trust the Globeheads at Nick-On! I've pronounced that company's name *both* of the ways that people pronounce it now! So, *everyone* gets to yell at me! Also, Mark Sargent has *actually* said this! He thinks that the Moon gives off its own "cold light" which makes things colder, and therefore proves that the Moon isn't just a rock floating in space. It's part of the big "firmament" that some Flat Earthers think— Just one second. Arranging this to be in the shot properly makes it actually really hard to dial. I want you to appreciate that. - [Popular Gaming YouTuber UpIsNotJump] Hello. [Unpopular YouTuber Hbomberguy] Hi there! Is that popular gaming YouTuber UpIsNotJump who also, incidentally, has a *Master's* in Chemistry??? - [Competent YouTuber UpIsNotJump] Yep! This is the third time I'm recording this, because I got my lines wrong the first time, and then the microphone wasn't on— - [Frail YouTuber Hbomberguy] (HAGGARD COUGHING) Excuse me. Uh, can moonlight make things cold? - [Smart YouTuber UpIsNotJump] No! The Moon reflects light from the Sun, and the intrinsic property of waves is, basically: all waves have energy because they have a frequency. It's just...the nature of...the universe. - [Pleased YouTuber Hbomberguy] Oh, okay! Cool! Thanks! Great, that was easy! Uh, bye! [Unsure YouTuber UpIsNotJump] Wait, wait.... You don't want me to do a...funny sketch or something? I can...I can do a joke here. - [Disinterested Youtuber Hbomberguy] Nah. The video's looking too long already. I decided to leave in the tangent about fighter jets, so it's...probably not worth it. - [Desperate YouTuber UpIsNotJump] No, wait! Don't go! I can... I can prove mathematically that this is the correct way— - [Rude YouTuber Hbomberguy] (HANGS UP) This all, I feel, leads to a necessary and important question: if all of the evidence for the Flat Earth is so... well, easy to throw out, ...why do people *actually* believe it? Because they're stupid. Bye! (YOUTUBE SHILLING) Would you like to build a beautiful website easily...........? Good! So would I! No no no no no. No, we're not actually gonna do that. That would be unreasonably rude. Let's take these people a bit more seriously than that. Some of them are clearly very knowledgeable. Some of them have, like, big, important degrees in serious fields. They know way much more than I do about all kinds of actually useful things. Uh, some of them take evidence very seriously, clearly, and they believe in the scientific method. Not all of them. Some of them are not...actually very knowledgeable about anything and seem to think Donald Trump, uh... is...is a genius, and...also, he's THEIR GUY! And he secretly knows the Earth *is* flat and he's gonna EXPOSE NASA! I suppose it would be disingenuous not to talk briefly about the really weird people. In fact, the misogyny thing, in specific, is really surprising. One of Mark Sargent's inner sphere—sorry, "circle"—Patricia Steere, gets a *lot* of hate from other factions of Flat Earthers for supposedly just being in it to be popular. Or some go even so far as to say she's actually a secret CIA plant designed to make Flat Earth look bad and/or trick...people with her appearance into...making them believe the...wrong version of Flat Earth...? Uh... - [MAG UGLY TRUTH] You better wake your ass up. All of them is fucking Satanic puppets! Yes, that's why they flash this one on TV, knowing that a body was put there by the CIA on YouTube to distract the masses that want to learn the truth! Yes, the Earth is flat, but you can never take it from these sodomites! Of course, they go lead in the wrong direction. Wake your ass up! There go your "patricia speere" right there! It is a plant by the C.I.A.! 100%! -[Hbomb] Frankly, even the people who like Patricia are *super weird* about it. I mean, Mark himself made a video just dedicated to how pretty he thinks she is, which, like, it... It's... it's fine! It's okay to find someone attractive! That's okay—but... it's a bit weird to, like, make a video about how pretty you think she is, right? Ugh. Still not as bad as the people who think that she's a "Deep State plant" designed to make Flat-Earther-ism look bad, though. Or the people zooming in on every picture of her face they can find in order to speculate that she's a... secret trans woman...? - [The Limitless Channel] And I know what a 44-year-old female looks like. You are... a 20-something— - [Hbomb] Being a woman in a conspiracy theorist movement is apparently grounds to have your body, history, goals, agenda—every single tiny thing about you—speculated upon. You know, I try and jokingly make fun of people when people act weird on the Internet. I keep it light. But honestly, this stuff is so fucking disgusting. I'm not even gonna make a joke here. Patricia's wrong about the Earth being flat, but she deserves to be in a movement that's better than this shit. Come on, guys! To be honest, the people treating Patricia like that and the people being mega racist on Flat Earth Facebook pages seem to me like the real "plants designed to make Flat-Earther-ism look bad". They don't make it look as bad as *this* guy does, though. - [Hbomb] Aw, no! Everyone's gonna think I'm trying to misrepresent Flat Earthers as misogynist and— Flat Earthers don't inherently disrespect women! Okay? It's just... A LOT OF THEM *HAPPEN* TO! - [Hbomb] Aw, he couldn't wait to bring Hitler up, could he? Geez. Ooo, *that'll* make his beliefs seem credible. Pbbth! Oh, that's surprising. Like, two days before this video was going to go online, that guy's channel got deleted by YouTube. Huh, I wonder why. I guess it will always remain a mystery... Oh great, I accidentally went to the shitty side of YouTube. You click on ONE vegan Flat Earth neo-Nazi rapper— (LAUGHS) I just had to say that phrase, but it's all true! And now my recommendations are full of the really WEIRD people, who seem a BIT like they might be using Flat Earth as a refuge for some kind of deep, existential emptiness, and film themselves walking around in public, asking people if they think the Earth is flat in a...Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot, and...yelling at people at a bar. -[Jake the Asshole] You're saying that he...he DIPS HIS...HE DIPS HIS NOSE DOWN?! - [Random victim #1] I'm done with this, I'm done with this. This is SILLY, dude. This is hilarious. - [Jake the Asshole] But you don't know how?! You see there? I tried to have a conversation, and, of course, they don't like it because they start losing the argument...'cause they can't make any real points. - [Hbomb] Ah, my favourite kind of reasonable debate: the kind where you walk up to someone in public with a camera and demand they debunk Flat Earth. He seems to be following the Ben Shapiro strategy of making videos, where you give it a title, like: "Ohhhh, I kicked their asses with my Smart Boy Brain!" ...and then you actually watch it, and it's them making a complete ass of themselves. - [Fabulous proprietor] Thank you very much, have a great night. You're disturbing our guests. - [Jake the Asshole] OKAY! - [Fabulous proprietor] Byyyyye! - [Jake the Asshole] IT'S GOING UP ONLINE!!!!!!1one 26000 SUBSCRIBERS!!!!11 - [Hbomb] (MOCKING) "You think you can destroy ME??? WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW"— (CRACKS UP) fuck... Jesus Christ. - [Jake the Asshole] Anyway, I think this was a productive day. - [Hbomb] (GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY) Oh God, in this one video he's got a Lunar Lander shirt on...that he's made...? "Lunar Module? Or Homeless Tweaker'z Shelter?" And he's going around filming random people on their day off from work, or at work, asking them if they think the Earth is flat, and they keep awkwardly nodding and saying he's right in the hopes he'll go away. - [Jake the Asshole] You ever seen the Earth curving? - [Random victim #2] ...no. Me neither. You know why? It's because the Earth is flat, and it doesn't spin. Look into it. When you get home, go on YouTube and check out the Flat Earth. - [Jake the Asshole] And that spiel, where they say it was, uh, Stanley Kubrick. - [Random victim #3] Okay, yeah, I couldn't remember his name. Jake the Asshole: Kubrick! That was the rumor! Who... whatever it was, it's Hollywood trickery! - [Hbomb] It's SO awkward, and he's SO sure he's owning people and looks smart! I'm getting sympathy anxiety for the people he's talking to. It's just...aaaagh, no, stop it! - [Jake the Asshole] Well, let me ask you this: Do you think that looks more like a lunar module or a homeless tweaker shelter...if you had to pick one... Just, if you had to pick one... - [Hbomb] WHY did he choose such an unwieldy quote to use on the shirt he designed...and then was going to say a lot in a video...?? ...WHY is THIS his opening to his convers—? It's... it's SUCH a TERRIBLE shirt! WHY DID HE—?! So I'm wearing a shirt now. I recreated it to try and understand what the deal is, what is going on here, and... Frankly, I still don't get it. It was a complete waste of time. Um, if I ever open a merch store, and you see this shirt on it, uh, it's the one shirt that I made of these. So, um, I'll sign it or something, if you want. PLEASE, do not wear it in public, though. NO ONE will want to be your friend. So yeah. We...we probably should at least acknowledge it. Some of these people believe there's a global—sorry, "flatal"—conspiracy to control the world and... eat everyone's minds. Some of them are misogynist, and some of them are REALLY racist. - [waykiwayki] It could be one of these, uh, bloodlines in this sort of elite. - [Hbomb] Uh, oh, it's the Rothschilds, is it? Oh, okay...uh, that's normal... And some of them are...vegan neo-Nazi rappers! But I'm sure EVERY movement has its share of problematic people who embarrass everyone else and who they wish would go away. I can't think of any left-wing YouTubers who are like that... OHH, it's ME, isn't it? Dispensing with the...really, sort of...WEIRD elements of the movement, the question still remains: why do people think the Earth is flat if the evidence is so bad? Frankly, I'm not very good at figuring out why other people do things. I just do what Sobek commands me, and, in return, he ensures that my harvest is bountiful, and my sperm is never-ending! So, we're gonna have to turn to an outside source to do all of this "deep thinking" stuff! Let's find out what popular Talky-Thinky Man Phil O'Sophie Toob has to say for himself, shall we? [inappropriately dramatic music] [weirdly dramatic train sounds] [door-knock] Hey, Ollie! I was just wondering: what do philosophers think of people who think the Earth is fl—...? I'll just reference the video you made a year ago. It's fine. [flees in terror] [inappropriately dramatic music] [crashes into the North Sea] - [Announcer] Mr. Mark Sargent. [applause, cheers] - [Sargent] For the rest of the scientific community, I come bearing a message: I like science. I always have. I flew here on the back of science. - [Hbomb] Oh, you flew here, did you? I wonder what model of the Earth THE PILOT USED— No...don't be mean.. Don't...sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't be rude to these people. Stop it. Carry on. Just stop it... - [Mark Sargent] You've taken what should have been simple observations and twisted them to suit your needs and make us feel small. We're not small, and we're not an accident. In fact, we ARE the new scientists. - [Hbomb] (LOSING CONTROL) No, Mark, don't say that. I promised I wouldn't... you can't... oh FUCK— - [Marik Ishtar Hbomb] There's a NEW science in town, baby! And an inordinate amount of it is based on... what logo... the UN uses!!!! (GOING MAD) (NORMAL VOICE) Okay, so, I deliberately avoided bringing up Mark Sargent's videos too much because they're not very good, I don't want to make Flat Earthers just look bad by pointing out how absolutely ridiculous the videos that got them into it are, and...I just don't want to be MEAN to someone just because they're ignorant and wrong. But you know what? Fuck him! It's 8:50 pm on Christmas Eve! He just said he's "the new fucking science"! THIS is my present to myself. I'm gonna fucking dunk on Mark Sargent for being obviously wrong. You know that whole logistics thing I pointed out earlier? Here's how he brings it up and debunks it: - [Sargent] Now, this is where you come in and say: "Well, it's probably an isolated incident...or some strange connection thing." "You know how the airlines are!" Oh no, my friends. [triumphant cacophony] Mark Sargent's video doesn't even acknowledge the existence of nonstop flights. In fact, he says they don't exist! - [Sargent] The first part of the clue is the utter lack of nonstop flights from anywhere in this hemisphere. Flying from international cities like Sydney, Rio, Santiago, or anywhere else close by, - [Hbomb] So, now it becomes clear why so much of Flat Earth is pointless fluff, or speculation about all the people who must be in on it. They have to avoid making quantifiable claims, because otherwise, when you put it in terms that can be proven or disproven, there's a chance your ACTUAL reasons for believing what you believe can be OPENLY demonstrated to be wrong. The Earth can't be a globe because there's no non-stop flights across countries in the Southern Hemisphere. Oh wait, someone googled it and it turns out there are? I meant to say a bunch of weird waffle about how we don't really know what gravity is. So, let's ramble about THAT instead! - [Sargent] What is gravity? - [Hbomb] (MOCKING) My worldview feels so much more safe when I'm talking absolute fucking nonsense. (MOCKING) Has everyone seen The Truman Show? (NORMAL VOICE) Oh, and while we're at it, Mark: it's not cute that you fucking hold your microphone on all of your podcasts like this. It makes for terrible audio. We can hear you're fumbling with it constantly. Just put it on a stand! The person you're...you've been streaming with for, like, years has a stand! Why have you not copied her thing? USE A STAND! ALSO! It's very clear you were wearing clip-on mic when you came out to do this speech, and I guess you fucked it up, because the audio didn't work! - [Sargent] Okay...? This pick up? I'm gonna do this just in case. - [Hbomb] So you decided you had to use the on-board mics, and then you weren't even them right! So a guy had to come and correct you! - [Sargent] Oh, we're gonna do both? Sorry about that. - [Hbomb] Why do you have so many problems with microphones?! If you just googled |how to do sound", your videos would have been, like, 30 percent more bearable! - [Sargent] Whose video was that with the Moon in the clouds? - [Steere] Yeah, and I don't even think that was the Moon. That looked like the Sun. - [Sargent] Was it? - [Hbomb] J...GAH! WHY ARE YOU SO BAD (FROM LAPTOP SPEAKER) AT EVERYTHING, MARK?!! (NORMAL AUDIO) YOU DON'T—... YOU'RE NOT EVEN A GOOD FLAT EARTHER! I HAVE TO TALK AROUND YOU, OR IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU PEOPLE LOOK STUPID!!! AND YOU THINK *YOU'RE* THE FUCKING SCIENTIST???!! FUCKING JESUS CHRIST (CUTS RECORDING OFF) I think what really gets me— [knocks skeleton over like a clod] [reflective silence] In his video "Flat Earth OR Why Do People Reject Science?" Philosopher Oliver Thorn says that Flat Earthers don't actually "reject" science. See? He's being very clever with his titles! CLEVER BOY! Check his videos out! But they're actually embracing an alternative viewpoint on science, which he compares to Direct Realism. He's right. These people are... ATTEMPTING a form of science, and I think that's what really gets to me about them. Not simply that they're pretending they're scientists who have "secretly found the truth". Those people are a fucking dime-a-dozen! Saying that "science is good, and you know it, and you're the genius! Everyone else is wrong!" is basically what being a YouTuber is. People like Mark are right to want to question authorities on issues. They're right on to question everything they know about reality and the society they live in, and...that's because at the center of Flat Earth—not the North Pole—the ACTUAL center of the ideology... It's core is a tiny, shining fragment of a systemic critique. It's the beginning of trying to understand what's wrong with our society and what to do about it. You know...Flat Earthers and people like them who embrace alternative solutions like... eating raw meat...in fact, um... Jake the Asshole, Flat Earth Boy, Yell At People Man eats raw meat a bunch. It's disgusting. I almost threw up watching one of his videos. You know...people seek these solutions because they perceive, on some level, a problem, and... They're right! Something is wrong with the world right now. The world is figuratively on fire! World leaders are asleep at the wheel. There's NOTHING in place to prevent another MASSIVE financial crash which will destroy thousands, if not millions, of livelihoods, and... Ecologically speaking, on top of being, you know, figuratively on fire, the Earth is LITERALLY on fire! Wildfires are getting worse! Temperatures are shifting all over the place! Ice is melting at an ASTOUNDING rate! Even on a Globe Earth, the Edge is coming fast! So, I can't blame anyone for feeling alienated and lonely about living in, you know, late-capitalist society. You know, at least under feudalism, we had job security! So, of course people are gonna try and find something that helps them cope or...seems like a solution. I mean, that's why you get cults! That's why you get Scientology. That's why you get Jordan Peterson supporters. You know...SOMETHING is wrong! And we can all tell! And...some people have arrived at a solution that doesn't really work, or, at the very least, makes them feel LITTLE BIT better! Some people feel REALLY good! Like...they're really owning the Marxists by not eating their vegetables...until they get scurvy...and then...that's where the problems begin, isn't it? Because...believing these things isn't a solution and...it's not really accurate about what the problems are. The problem isn't NASA. The problem isn't the Earth being flat. The problem is something else. If you're a flat Earther, and you made it all the way to the end of this video, Wow, this video was way too long, but I watched fucking dozens of hours of your documentaries, so, I guess...I guess you owe me. But if I can give a little word of advice... Your're right to feel that something is wrong. Because something IS wrong. Just...maybe keep looking for the source of what that thing is, because... The Earth is not flat. The Earth is an oblate spheroid. I heard one guy say "oblate" once, and that was it. I just...now I say it every time. Just...keep looking. Keep trying to figure out a solution And maybe next Christmas, Mark Sargent... Will be Marx's Sergeant. That's a good one. Oh God, my hair looks awful! And, uh, see y'all next year! I'm gonna do more videos next year! I promise! And I'm gonna do that charity stream soon! Gonna play Donkey Kong 64 all the way through until...I fucking die! I'll raise money for a charity! I forgot which one it is! I don't wanna do another take, 'cause it's bloody freezing in here! I put this on for a reason! Uh... This used to light up, but...it doesn't. [Kissing Ancaps by Eric Taxxon plays] (COUGHING) Excuse me. Can moonlight make things cold? I feel like I'm ACTUALLY being rude to a person by doing this! I'm really sorry! RAWR! [eldritch madness]
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Channel: hbomberguy
Views: 2,665,884
Rating: 4.8650017 out of 5
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Id: 2gFsOoKAHZg
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Length: 45min 17sec (2717 seconds)
Published: Mon Dec 31 2018
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