First Time Watching "Dwight K. Schrute" - The Office

[Music] [Laughter] i is it the main character no it's him oh the assistant's a reasonable manager that's his title yeah not resistant this isn't to the reason what is going on michael is um sick and he wants one of us to rescue him i'm coming michael i'm going to save you what's up with me michael why don't you call your girlfriend i don't have a girlfriend but you said you went out of this weekend it was all made up just someone come okay anyone anyone but dwight what was that [Music] oh [Music] [Music] [Applause] he's still going dwight huge he forgot your bumper hello please don't send dwight look red and swollen that's what she said that's awesome so yesterday dwight found half a joint in the parking lot which is unfortunate because as it turns out dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs let's go over some of these symptoms of marijuana use shall we you tell me who this sounds like slow moving inattentive dull constantly snacking shows a lack of motivation to work with generally with four exceptions but someone committed a crime and i did not become a lackawanna county volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends by the way i haven't hi linda dwight schrute assistant regional manager you might remember testing my urine a few years back when i was applying to be a volunteer sheriff's deputy we test a lot of yarn mine was green oh right how are you i'm all better so i need you to do some work on the saint andrews account i need your urine i may need some filing done what kind of filings cumberland mills how are you and how did you get my resume oh no no i'm very flattered don't get me wrong i'm just not sure that it's my official resume or if it's something that maybe a satisfied customer posted online what does it say under martial arts training [Music] oh okay i'm gonna have to supplement that could i have your fax number would i ever leave this company look i'm all about loyalty in fact i feel like part of what i'm paid for here is my loyalty is it supposed to be star wars [Music] that's great is that great because they accomplished something what was your mile time about seven i could be dead on a skateboard well that has wheels yeah well my feet don't and i could still crush that time really dwight how fast are you let's just put it this way last weekend i outran a black pepper snake really i am fast to give you a reference point i'm somewhere between a snake and a mongoose and a panther man what is taking toby so long about this oh i'll just time him later and you'll compare the times yeah are you ready now my exact reason i can't there's i don't know i did just make him run around the building and i have no intention of timing him oh this isn't even a stopwatch it's a digital thermometer what is on your face is that a disguise id badges are long overdue security in this office park is a joke last year i came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag i set up my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch can you imagine if i was deranged okay with all due respect to everyone here i think the most worthy opponent of you is you that is correct unless there happen to be measles present so let's just say that dwight has come at you with the throw punch now how would you dwight defend against it easy allow me to demonstrate i am attacking myself with a throat punch here it comes block grasp wrist as such and what if he comes at you with the other hand because he does have two good points second throat punch absorb the blow groin punch hip block elbow to the gut uh oh up to the nose no you're not ah oh my god he's making you look like such a fool he really is but not for long ow god instep oh not again are you let go you let go oh you're right okay hold on i don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand the important thing to remember jim we always have what is called the element of surprise he's crazy thanks i'm on it okay 30 minutes or less please come back save the receipts hey what let's see if any of these hey dwight dwight i keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office i saved jim's life with a can of pepper spray i had velcroed under my desk people say oh it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace well i say it's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally like a stranger on purpose yeah no type of straight he had the blow dart on the toilet is my greatest dream come true welcome to the hotel hell check-in time is now checkout time is never this is my room no and the sheets are made of fire catch any rooms sorry we're all booked up hell conventionally the co-owner with satan okay just so i understand that in your wildest fantasy i do you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil but i haven't told you my salary yet go 80 thousand dollars a year once i'm officially regional manager my first order of business would be to demote jim halpert so i will need a new number two my ideal choice jack bauer but he is unavailable fictional and overqualified they will cost you your life elaborate the worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it they need to fight their own battles if saber really cared about our well-being they would set up hand desanitizing stations a simple bowl at every juncture filled with dirt vomit fecal matter exposing yourself to germs is the best way to make yourself stronger so by that rationality if i had to sneeze i should just sleep on you yes i would welcome it you're welcome the principle is sound to avoid illness expose yourself to germs enabling your immune system to develop antibodies i don't know why everyone doesn't do this the office is crazy maybe they have something against living forever in the amazon but it has not yet been imported to the united states who is the king of austria joseph ii who is the king of prussia friedrich wilhelm iii who is the king of england why the tyrant king george of course i don't care what jim says that is not the real ben franklin i am 99 sure he said 99. [Music] [Laughter] oh i have a wig for every single person in the office [Music] creed and the indians were well they they got who the indian what the what's that indian girl oh it's like mindy or something something like that bro they all got their own like videos you're familiar with those yeah i've seen every episode every i see every single one right i was crying he was so mad what's his name what's the black guy's name oh stanley all right guys go to the other reaction

Channel: CartierFamily

Views: 381,060

Keywords: DwightKSchrute, TheOffice

Id: mm2XZC42vKs

Length: 11min 22sec (682 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 18 2022