First Day Of Prison: Real Stories

creditors who went to jail prison what went through your head on the first day my first night in county jail was surreal to say the least my summer of drugs and drinking had culminated into stupid crimes and there i was my mom wasn't going to pay bail i had to learn my lesson that lesson turned out to be eight years in a maximum security prison county jail i slept with my shoes on the first night thinking i was going home any day i viewed myself as a kid even though i was 21 that somehow it wasn't really happening everything was routine breakfast tv exercise tv cards tv cards tv cards six months later they wanted to make an example out of me eight years in state prison in ny you do 80 of your time so it ended up being 6 years 10 months that first night in state prison completely different ball game first leaving county jail you're in shackles legs shackled to the guy next to you so if you try to run you better hope both of you are really good at convict three-legged racing the bus brought us under the prison hundreds of inmates into what i would call a factory of processing humans for incarceration searched stripped cavity searched shaved showered deliced waiting clothed waiting all while hearing the noise of a couple thousand inmates above you not knowing what kind of madhouse you're stepping into not much choice at that point the most important thing i realized is just accept it you're there time will move faster if you get to solid routine and just follow direction they can't stop your time but through can slow it up i've been out longer than i've been and now and have my life back on track i was definitely going to be dead from something stupid so i was rescued rather than arrested don't go to jail kids being separated from everything was the worst how was your relationship with your parents after this i think the first thing thing that went through my mind was how can i mentally prepare myself to survive this then when you get moved to your cell it changes instantly who's sizing me up after that while laying on the blankets i'm going to have a lot of unpaid bills when i get out i was in jail not prison one this sucks too oh the people are a lot nicer than i thought three this is gonna be boring four food sucks five i have to crap in front of everyone six this sucks that was jail for a month in a large pod about 30 people on bunk beds in a large open dorm with two tears no cells just big dorm it was life some people were buttholes but most were okay just trying to pass the time while doing their time played chess worked out did some writing the books were all like middle school level though and very uninteresting my experience exactly scared little 21 wyomi was crapping bricks as i carried my little tub of underwear and toothbrush etc down the hall to the pod put on a stock face and marched right to my bunk set myself up and realized that this was gonna be boring as fricken nobody was gonna freak with me went to jail for shock treatment and had to stay two weekends seven a.m saturday to 7 a.m monday you go in for processing get naked and then spread your butthole and cough they take you to your cell and you meet your mates hopefully they are cool most likely will be if you are staying for a short time realize there is an actual toilet two feet from your bed this is where people crap sometimes while you are trying to sleep that's the weirdest part breakfast is at 5am saturday night we got to watch a movie everyone seems to be friendly during the movie and will yell out funny phrases or catcall when a sexy lady shows up on screen short of it as i basically read louis lamar books the entire time that i borrowed from my cellmate also got the nickname chainsaw dave because i grind my teeth when i sleep they said it was as loud as a chainsaw pretty badass nickname for something so mundane i was sentenced to jail for three months and did 67 days relentless anxiety for the months leading up to it and then within like 10 minutes of being there i knew it was going to be fine walked into a room with like 30 dudes watching the prices is right one person i knew from high school two people i knew from college the dorm had a cappuccino snack and soda vending machine probably like 70 percent of the people there were butterflies doing a couple months for their second dui 20 non-violent small time drug dealers me 10 dads who couldn't edit won't pay child support i worked in the kitchen for 12 hours a day slept for eight watched tv for four i did a couple weeks in county and it was mostly tweakers who were doing their annual detox it wasn't so bad because it was the calmest and chillest they ever were in their normal lives one guy even made a big speech turned off the tv when he heard something racist we all got a freaking live here together my dad is a storyteller and went to prison three times he got out the first time for two weeks before he went back for two more years he got out again before he went back and only days later for violation of parole he never went back because his new cellmate was an 80 year old man who told him i've been here since i was your age in case you're bad at math that's 60 years i have no chance of parole and i know i'm going to die here you think being here for however long you're in for as bad imagine knowing there's no way out you best straighten yourself before you end up like me son my dad never went back on an unrelated note this was the same man who my dad practiced chess with every day for two years i still have yet to beat my dad at chess sounds like the plot of every jail movie spent the night in orange county lockup got bailed out but not before listening to a hardcore african-american with dreads and tattoos hitching that he'd been profiled because of his car and when he got out he was going to get the biggest dang dodge pickup with a dixie flag in the window and a kkk sticker on the bumper the short gun rack too them dang cracker cops ain't never gonna pull muay black butt over again funny guy the loop is heck on earth handed the my passport to the guyad customs on my way through o.r tambo he looked at my visa funny said never seen one like this before and my heart kinda dropped into my stomach almost immediately i didn't really think much just went into a numb sort of survival mode and tried to keep a low profile no white boy in his right mind lets himself get arrested in south africa fortunately they stuffed me in a cell with all the other illegal immigrant types for a week as a white american i had a kind of celebrity status i hadn't expected everything was cool pakistani muslims sharing food with ugandan christians christians sharing weed with muslims while i ran look out i kinda missed those guys by the time i got out ha i got stopped at o.r tambo for having some weed in my carry-on which i packed by mistake they let me go after about half an hour but i missed my flight i was broken so were my glasses so i spent two days in the airport without food and half blind waiting for the next flight good times had to do five days for probation violation boozehound drug addict i failed a p-test the first day consisted of me checking in at county and sitting and booking for 24 hours the booking area had the most uncomfortable chairs created if there is a heck it will be filled with these hard plastic chairs that are impossible to sleep in it sucked all i could think about was how much this sucked and how i had no one to blame but myself decided right there to start taking the mandatory addiction classes seriously and start trying otherwise i would just end up back in jail surrounded by pedophiles and violent offenders which is not pleasant best thing that ever happened to me i got put in max for felony assault up to 80 years after this dude tried to force my girlfriend now wife into a bathroom with him at a bar i only threw one punch but he wound up falling though a plate window and slicing arteries after two days in holding with people coming down off of all the drugs mh etc and the transfers trying to start fights with everyone i got sent to 23 hr lockdown in apod which is reserved for violent offenders one skinhead dude was in on 23 counts of various forms of homicide manslaughter so crap got real fast cell got tossed at one point and they questioned me i didn't say crap which in hindsight was smart since when my cellmate got back he asked a guy across the way if i said anything and then he introduced himself to me after that we were cool and he vouched for me saying i was in there for some real crap god knows how long it was before this happened i was ticked by like days time stands still my cellmate had been in for two of his six years with repeated trafficking felony firearm battery on an officer well got back from a hearing super excited saying well if i plea to this or that i should be able to get out in a month he was dead serious but inside my head i knew there was no way but something about his conviction while staring me dead in the eyes made me realize that there is absolutely nothing else going on in his head but trying to get out that night while brushing my teeth i remember staring at myself in the mirror thinking i truly believe i'm getting out tomorrow too that was the most eye-openingly present yet emotionally detached pit of realization i have ever fallen into i was lucky though my charges got dropped on self-defense after bar surveillance showed him touching me first so frick that i make sure to avoid situations that might put me in that situation i don't have crap to prove to anyone it used to be frick cops now it's freak jail i'm never going back nearly killed a guy with one punch for trying to rape my girl seems worth some serious cred realizing as the acid wore off that this was in fact not a dream as i originally suspected and the stack of previously illegible pages of charges and huge bail some that i thrown all over the cell was probably important whoa this be story time after leaving the four-week intake prison i found myself following a 10 hour bus ride shackled in a school bus without windows in a maximum security prison with a towel two pairs of boxes two pairs of jeans two shirts a toothbrush and a bar of soap i hadn't showered in two days and not smelling like crap is important in prison so i made my way to the herd shower and got in now i wasn't scared necessarily but i also wasn't super enthusiastic to be showering with a bunch of dudes of course i turned on my spigot and starting soaping up and dropped my precious bar of soap onto the ground the shower was silent as i turned around and stared at my soap slipping away on the floor all eyes were on me i had to choose quickly so i did what came naturally i starting laughing out loud i just roared with laughter after a few seconds everyone in the shower started laughing with me in that moment we all shared in the absurdity of our situation and enjoyed a good prison shower rape joke laugh it also really helped quell my biggest fear about prison actually which was that i was going to be raped i was a youngish white man who didn't know anyone and wasn't affiliated with anything and i was going in alone but that day gave me a lot of confidence and strength my first thoughts were about being raped after that day my biggest fear became that i'd relapse while inside what the frick did i do i was extremely intoxicated and woke up when it was time to get out of the back of the cop car i think i was in shock because my heart wasn't even beating fast or anything oh this is serious i seriously fricked up i shouldn't be here i'm not a criminal i'm gonna have road tell everyone i went to jail now my mom is gonna be furious my siblings are gonna be disappointed i should probably pull my head out of my butt etc the offenses were numerous i was caught with a friend who had coke and some of the people who gave statements exaggerated i stole borrowed a bicycle to get out of the country and back home got pulled over and had an empty beer can not mine in my car got hit with opening talks finally i threw a big rock through a picture window for literally no reason except i could there may have been more but it's been a long time and i keep my nose clean these days try not to think about it much that i had irreversibly freaked out my life and if i was smart i should probably take the first chance i can to kill myself and be done with it rather than continue living my life as a disappointment to myself and everyone i love i was arrested at 5 p.m questioning booking transfer etc i am not given a bunk assignment until 3 a.m i am 6 feet 3 and 330 pounds built but fat more of an out of shape wrestler wrestler when i was assigned i listed all of my medical problems diabetic high bp long list the buzzer goes off guard opens door and then slams it shut the sound the freaking sound the atmosphere crap the first words i hear in a deep southern voices boy you gots a pretty mouth come sleep near daddy i stopped frozen the loudspeaker comes on and the guard yells get to your bunk now i go in the 30-man two-tier tank and straight to my bunk never slept thinking how to protect myself fight fight to the death let them know that your bite and fight dirty never closed my eyes buzzer goes off the day room is open i see the person who yelled out at me a 70 year old man in a wheelchair bald and bali alive i see other old men who can hardly walk i was in the hospital ward infirmary sick tank etc the old man couldn't stop laughing you should have seen your face boy they did that to every person that came in at night freaked them out turns out they were the coolest bunch of people i've ever been with they gave me the rules of the tank no fighting no stealing no freaking etc second time wasn't as nice i was thrown into a zoo spitted 20 times on my way to the bunk assignment when one hit me directly in the mouth i went berserk and fought got my butt kicked nicely never got spat it again boy you gots a pretty mouth primal fear right there i yawned every time i walked into a new room bc it was the most neutral expression i could think of i was afraid if i didn't smile i'd look aggressive or angry and that if i did i might look cocky or weak so i yawned here comes the narcoleptic i was arrested while trying to schedule a diversion class i had missed missing the class violated a plea bargain stemming from a dui i had gotten months before i was immediately taken to processing this was a friday about noon unfortunately the court was full for the day so i didn't get to see a judge until the following monday i was put in a group cell with about 30 people at first i tried to keep a low profile i grabbed a book off a shelf and began to read it was some silly romance novel but it was all that was available then some gangbanger saw me reading he took my book and started yelling look at mister smartypants reading books over here he thinks he's too good for us i was scared shitless i wanted no part of a jail fight i just wanted to read and get through the weekend luckily a guy who was often in jail did a really cool dude came and put the banger in his place gave me the book back and asked you know how to write too can you help me write a letter to my girl i proceeded to help write letters for five six different cellmates it was surreal i became a protected guy all because i helped some bad dudes communicate with the outside world the letters i wrote were amazing one guy had me tell his gfs how much he wanted to lick her butt seriously one guy had a newborn at home he was out buying formula when he was picked up for a parole violation his household had no phone so his fiancee had no idea what happened to him or their car for three days he cried when we were writing the letter i was humbled by the experience i got sentenced to 10 days for missing the class and got out in five total i ended up getting high fives and hugs from some of my cell mates as i was released all in all it was a positive experience all things considered though that's like a movie man frick just gonna chill and mind my own business it was truly the worst experience of my life miami is not a place you want to get locked up it's truly appalling conditions i have no idea how it's even legal to keep people like that i have no idea how it's even legal to keep people like that dehumanization of criminals revenge fantasies fueling the use of prison as a form of brutal punishment beyond simply removal of freedom lack of reform and rehabilitation as priorities in the system significant underfunding justified by all the above i'm a pretty straight arrow by nature so i don't think that i really allowed myself to process what was happening until the second or third day of my four-day stint in a county jail in kansas at that point i just wanted to go home and get the hard part over with facing my parents honestly the hardest part was the first night they didn't have a bed available for me so i spent the night alone in the drunk tank on a hard concrete floor after that i got a cellmate a mat on the floor and all the western paperbacks i could read in three four days the short version of my arrest was that we were bored engage in some fireworks related shenanigans and were just unlucky enough that those shenanigans were observed by an off-duty deputy at home with his sick wife karma my friend was sent to juvie for a month when they found a pocket knife on him after getting into a fight at school he was a pretty good kid but found out his girlfriend was cheating on him with another guy so he found the guy at lunch and pummeled him he said he was just in his cell crying the first day he thought he was going never going to see anyone again or that he would get killed in there afterwards he said he didn't talk to anyone but that everyone was generally nice to him in there i never really got that thought process why go after the guy your girlfriend is cheating on you with and not go after the person who is actually doing the cheating it's like the person is in denial that their significant other has betrayed them so they have to put the blame on someone else this isn't so bad after i realized they do not do a full cavity search on intake the guards were mostly cool god how long are you staying at the resort me six months god holy frick you kill a guy me no just a fight god well should have killed them probably got in less time i also got out on work release which was a sanity saver i'll keep this in mind lol was in jail for a month speeding and dui mixed with missing first court appearance got me a 90-day sentence with 60 suspended went into jail that day right after my court appearance i wasn't scared really because i live in a small city just let down like you realize your whole life is to not go to jail ever then you're there and you realize that this is now your life guards talk crap real crap so you can stay longer it taught me i never want to end up back in that situation again i was 23 and served my 30 days i'm 28 now and actually i'm glad i went through that because i was very reckless as a young adult i was arrested at mardi gras one year for battery on an officer with injury oops up until this point and since then i've been pretty much straight as a board i think i've had a whopping two speeding tickets and one parking ticket in my life i'm early forties got hauled into the new orleans jail freaked out of my mind here i am a tubby white geek kept to myself in the booking area finally got to my cell well into the evening they hold another inmate out of the cell to make room for me so i've instantly made at least one friend tried my damn nest to sleep but i'm a snorer sue who didn't really sleep didn't want to wake up the other guy in the cell spent the day talking to the guy he was in on drugs we talked about our life experiences i got out on bail fast forward a few months and i've plead guilty to a lesser charge of battery on an officer and get sentenced to 17 days having spent one night in i steal myself for 17 days of boredom i'd researched a lot and had my wife sent me a cissp book to study while i was in since the lesser charge wasn't a felony i was stuck in an open dorm with lots of other inmates that was a trip you feel like a new student walking into a full classroom where am i going to bunk who's already eyeballing me to screw with me i chose a top bunk of a bunked and an older weathered guy said hey man don't sleep up there a big guy like you should be on the first one here's an open bunk right here and pointed me towards an empty rack i took it and was extremely on alert trying not to jump out of my skin was this guy looking for someone to drop the soap in the shower or was he just a decent guy turns out it was the later we talked like adults he helped me understand the routine i gave him the extra food i got i was barely able to eat most of the food there he shared some of his extras he'd give me his apple sauce for example all in all a decent guy he was in for drugs and theft as were a lot of the other inmates and while i'm not proud of what i did lemme tell you if you've got to go to jail being able to say that you're in for battery on an officer played down from battery on an officer with an injury certainly doesn't hurt with the other inmates going to op is some serious crap it's a rough jail to have to be held and i've heard some horror stories it's supposed to be one of the worst in the country got arrested for marijuana a while back i spent the first 30 hours alone in a booking cell in a turtle suit i mostly was just be because i wasn't suicidal and wanted to know what was going on when i'd get real clothes when i could call my family etc at one point the next morning they brought over the inmates from the housing blocks that were going to court and put a couple of them in my holding cell to wait hindsight they were probably more unsure of me than i was of them because turtle suits automatically made people think you were crazy after finally getting cleared by the psychiatrist they let me change into orange's real underwear and pants never felt so good and took me to the housing block i remember being intimidated when i first walked in because people will swarm you when you're new to find out what you're in for and whether you want detox meds that they can try and bribe you for i wasn't the worst part was the food and additional lockdowns because people wanted to be hard asses overall experience zero stroke 10 wouldn't recommend the first time why is everyone watching me make my bed i didn't know the proper sheet tying procedure every time after that who's got a coffee for an envelope wanna play spades look at that guy try to make his bed 36 hours in the drunk tank everyone was super cool played spades and the losers had to do push-ups everything stunk especially the food dang my kids and i bet each other using push-ups as currency good to know i'm preparing them for many possibilities trying to figure out who i could trust to release my wallet to so i could bail out without my parents finding out they found out last time i went to jail i went to central booking to schedule my community service i was immediately handcuffed right out the cars and was pit bull chained to a chair for one hour very confused they told me that due to the discretion of the warden and the pending trial that technically i was innocent until proven guilty they were going to give me straight time the booking officer who i watched his lunch for an hour in the back claimed he had called the warden which was a lion said i was just going to go to jail instead i asked for some phone numbers out of my phone which was sitting next to me in a bag they refused i had no phone numbers nobody knew where i was except that i had gone to jail to schedule my community service and was immediately strip searched and thrown into a concrete box in the first few minutes of sitting there i realized that all the dumbest that i have done to get there really wasn't worth it it was terrifying demoralizing and really really boring the food was horrendous they neglected to give me my three meds i was on despite the fact i was a seizure risk life pro tip stay the f out of jail crap they pull like that is bs i went to the courthouse on the correct date and time to pay a minor in possession ticket class c misdemeanor and the judge threw me in jail just because he wanted to make a point no one knew where i was either if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Internet Is Fun Studios

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Keywords: first day of prison, first day of prison funny, first day of prison stories, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to

Id: NPQXmg52d2k

Length: 27min 4sec (1624 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 11 2021