Fiancee Wants To Quit Job To Be A TRAD WIFE Because Of TIKTOK... Should I Cancel My Wedding?

my fiance wants to become a Trad rif after a wedding and I am tempted to call off the wedding as a result should I call off the wedding I'm a 29 male my fiance's 27 uh I'll say her name is Kate I've been with Kate for four years engaged for one due to get married in July and I do love Kate and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her but lately she's been becoming serious about becoming a trap wife after getting married and I'm having a hard time getting on board I was in very surprised and asked her what made her suddenly desire to just stay at home and work to my talk she said Tick Tock of all things so what this really comes down to is I think a lot of people are just running away from the fact that they're insecure about their future and they're just latching on to things that they see on social media I'm sorry I'm I'm calling the ladies out on this one the amount of times women have told me I want a farm I want a farm I want a farm so I could get our own milk and then get our own cheese and grow our own crops and I'm like [ __ ] all your plants are did you can't keep aing Fern alive and you want to do what people see these things through the lens of social media and they're convinced that this is the life that they want you're not getting a farm and all those animals are going to be better off because they don't have you this morning I asked my toddlers what they wanted for breakfast and they both said cereal so cereal it was and we got started right away I made two types of cereal the first one was chocolate chip cookie cereal so I Mi some flour peanut butter maple syrup milk and chocolate and formed that into a dough then I rolled tiny little balls and flattened them out to resemble put those in the oven as well for about 10 minutes once those were done I let those cool have you ever asked yourself why it is that tradwives and other conservative female influencers who promote traditional gender roles have all the time in the world to make cereal from scratch but somehow never seem to record themselves doing essential domestic labor like vacuuming trying to get a a particularly nasty stain out of a shirt or scrubbing a toilet okay if you're una aware this is a huge fed right now it's basically these women who call themselves Trad wives and they're like I'm going to make bread from scratch and I'm going to quilt a skirt from my 2-year-old or whatever they're constantly doing stuff like this and this video genre is incredibly popular so he's talking about this let's watch it's always something that strictly speaking is unnecessary and they are doing the hardest way possible because the answer is that it is for show it is all a performance in his remarkably preent 1899 book the theory of the Leisure Class Thorston Vin coined the terms conspicuous consumption and conspicuous Leisure suggesting that those with wealth and power no longer having any economic production to contribute themselves instead contribute to the production and consumption of leisure those consumption practices those leisure activities are conspicuous precisely because that is how the Leisure Class signals their difference from the working class signals their exceptionality and their superiority facts cuz at the end of the day if you're an actual Trad wife in a regular marriage that's not with some really rich person you don't have time to you don't have time to make cereal you're actually taking care of two three kids you're probably going to be going to buy stuff managing the day-to-day household you ain't got time to be you're going to buy [ __ ] bread okay you're going to buy your [ __ ] bread what are you talking about you're not going to [ __ ] sit here and do it you're going to buy it why cuz i't got no time cuz I got to go back home I got to pack lunches I got to do the house I got to clean I got to do laundry I got to help with homeworks I'm I'm not going to do the [ __ ] bread I'mma buy it same thing with baking a pie I'm going to bake a pie shut up I'm going to trift at best I'm going to trift at best I don't have time to sit here and be like contemplating no I got [ __ ] to do [ __ ] need to be titty up in the house ain't nobody got time for that most of you don't have a house and don't know how how much it how much how much time how much time consuming it is you're going to sit here and be like Oh I'm going to do this [ __ ] for I'm going to make pasta fresh pasta it takes long ain't nobody got time for that like a working class [ __ ] that that like you got a normal job and a normal payout no you don't cuz you're Tria so you don't work so he has to work twice as hard well you won't have to hey what did you do what did you do today honey all today I Made bread yeah Made bread go buy it stupid I got why bakeries are popular even in the most traditional places it's cuz people go to the bakery to get it done cuz it's too time consuming I got to wait 3 hours for that [ __ ] to bake let me buy who's here making cereal nobody's making cereal pasta I could understand why because getting stor pasta is easy pasta is not the same easy still still kind still timeconsuming though still time consuming but pasta like even for Italians for example they make a lot of their own pasta or they go to the play that make the path or they are really good or yes yes fair if you have access to that not a real tread life that's all say remember in the 50s no you don't remember cuz you were not born I don't remember cuz I was not born too but in the ' 50s you know there was some wives you know when they got together you know and oh look I baked the pie that and you were better than the one that that bought it oh no it's homemade when you receive someone at home I had time to bake the pie myself right right cherry pie that I make oh yeah it's home cook oh you're so good that and it's just the same thing yeah but it's on Tik Tok and it makes me whenever they're telling you oh look I made this from scratch it's scams I'm better than y'all cuz I do this on the regular even if they don't yeah sorry about that better than a speak because you think about it she's like I asked my toddlers what they wanted okay they said they wanted cereal let me make it from scratch shut up oh shut shut up stop they're better than us because they are so wealthy and well off that they have nothing more important to worry about and if we were to ever see tradwives perform essential productive domestic labor or see their husbands perform any domestic labor at all that would in fact mark them as failures as tradwives as Vin wrote in 1899 again he could have written it yesterday application to productive labor is a mark of poverty and subjection it becomes inconsistent with a reputable standing in the community because these videos are not instructional they are maybe inspirational but they are always performative this is not real labor this is symbolic labor is nothing more than social signaling that this woman and her family belong cuz like I want yall to think about the whole video her makeup's all done she's in a night gown so she's like kind of sing she has everything done here then she's got the wooden Bowl everything is perfectly laid out the kitchen exemplarily clean at all times like this is this is a set it's a it's like a little film set for her her thing it's like the only person that I've seen all done up when they cook is yada and she's on Food Network so it's going to look good for TV that's the same thing as a performance and it is also how she builds and signals her value if you are the sort of person who operates within an exchange economy that assigns high and low value to human beings because her value to her husband is not in her ability to care for the home or care for the children right anyone who is able to engage in this level of conspicuous Leisure has somebody that they are paying to do all of those things no her value is instead in in her ability to perform the role of trophy wife and to be the ultimate realization and personification of her husband's socioeconomic prowess because tradwives are conspicuous consumers yes but it is the audience's consumption of tradwives that truly makes them valuable to their husbands that's a ridiculous video I'm sorry that that's ridiculous at the end of the day should you be able to do this if you want to absolutely but this new obsession that everyone has with being a tread wife especially in a day and age where that Financial possibility is dwindling like crazy it's a bit concerning that I'm seeing how popular this new fat is and look I can understand that this movement has grown popular in the wake of telling women that having a job is the most important thing in the world the counterbalance to that from a feminist standpoint is the reality that like being at home for your family taking care of them is also a wonderful thing and so I could understand that messaging becoming more and more popular as a lot of women felt unfulfilled bu by having a career but I think it's important not to just ve off in the other swing of the pendulum so hard the reality is financially most of us are not going to be able to live that life most of us are going to have to work both people in the couple are going to have to have jobs so the more that this Tik Tok stuff sells us thing the more you start to real like realize like oh this is a weird thing I actually read a story recently oh I what read the story bit of background we live in a major city uh I earn an average salary she earns an okay salary working as a store manager to together we earn enough to pay the rent for a small fat flat pay the bills and have small amount left over for some small luxuries take out go into the movies Etc takes forever us to make substantial savings most of which are going to this wedding but we are doing okay and that is with two incomes while I do earn more than her it's not Mega Bucks more and we drop just one income we would just be surviving true her salary isn't anything glamorous but it's enough to help pay the bills and add to the savings pot now for the issue shortly after New Year's Kate and I were just chilling on the couch after workday when Kate brought up the post seding life and mentioned the idea of becoming a Trad wife after marriage I had never heard of this before and asked her what that was she explained that it meant traditional wife and it was for wife that stayed at home cooked looked after the household chores including cleaning and cooking and more importantly looked after the husband by attending to his needs I said that sounded like a housewife and she said it was more than just a normal housewife because a TRD wife does everything herself to look after the home in husband without any paid to work run R run because because being a tra right there in the formulation of it no no no it's not a housewife I'm better than that that's that's what it is I'm not a housewife no no no no no no no no not a housewife I am better it's she wants the position she wants the the the title the title sounds exci exciting I'm a tried to you know what being a tried wife is is a privilege it's a privilege yep yep you do not her or you make enough for her to be a tra wife my also big question is y'all ain't got no kids y'all ain't got no kids that's not a tried wife y'all ain't got no babies that's a [ __ ] that stays home and do nothing you a leech you a leech I want to be a tri wife no no they don't want to do [ __ ] that's it also I like how she's like no a housewife is different than a tread wife cuz a tread wife does everything in caps to look after the home well what does that even mean well you going to I mean that that doesn't justify that's just that justifies me not working and not bring money I do everything here so you bring the money so what is she going to make cial from scratch too and it's added on top of you know what let me Google what's the difference between a housewife and a tread wife that's a good question there's no difference but she wants to make it sound like she's better than that you know what it's saying it's saying a TR off as a housewife with a social media spin they're basically branding it different aand but it's what it is I was thrown off guard by this is Katie has never shown desire to just stay at home before and the only time it was discussed was in relation to kids which we said she was happy being a stay at home mom for when the kids were young because on her salary we'd probably be paying more for child care anyway that makes sense no that no that's fine that's not the same thing that's not the same thing that's not the same okay good I'm glad they they distin they distinguish that okay more to the point the idea of her just staying at home all day and cleaning cooking is a bit strange to me when we live in such a small place red flag between the two of us we can clean the whole flat in half a day it takes me about half an hour to vacuum and mop all the floors for example when I self processed that I thought she was joking but she was dead serious I was then very surprised and asked her what made her suddenly desire to just stay at home and work to my talk she said Tick Tock of all things apparently there are videos and Tik tokers that are these tread wives that talk about how great the lifestyle is and how happy their marriages are these tread wives claim their husbands are always happy and home life is the best so Kate wants that for us too yo bro bun that I told her that wouldn't make me happy it makes no sense we live in a small flat requires low upkeep we can't afford it again I understand our income is great but it's pitiful she gave a non-committal shrug and thought that was the end of and I thought that was the end of it nope she approached me again a few days later with the idea I told her I was against it I try to PR more about why she wanted to suddenly be a Trad white she kep banging on about Tik Tok and how she really does feel that her staying home would be the best thing for our marriage she keeps bringing it up and now it seems she's adamant I can't get anything more out of her a part of like it's good for our marriage I watched him of these Tik Tok videos I'm sorry but they come across as really creepy these rwise seem to do nothing but dress like Lucy ball and cook bread from scratch it's bizarre and not something I'm looking for in a lifetime partner your partner got influenced by Tik Tok I don't know how much more I can tell Kate about how much I'm against this and it's falling on De ears as a result I'm seriously reconsidering our relationship good this is what I think I think a lot of women and a lot of men feel a lot of insecurity about their future and when you're in a job field you don't like cuz you chose a wrong career or maybe you're feeling unfulfilled with your life you look at these women on Tik Tok and you're like oh maybe if I stayed at home I like caring for people I like caring for my boyfriend I'd love to care for the house and that would make me feel fulfilled now that may be true for some people but it's not going to be true for all of you the same way not everyone is built for a lifelong job not everyone's built for a Trad life not everyone even has the ability or the privilege to not everyone's going to be able to work in the field they're super passionate about you know some of you want to our poetry for the rest of your life it's not possible for everybody okay so what this really comes down to is I think a lot of people are just running away from the fact that they're insecure about their future and they're just latching on to things that they see on social media be the people who think that they're going to be entrepreneurs they're going to make it big the guys who think if they just go into crypto and then they're going to be rich and they're going to be fulfilled everyone's looking for quick way out that's essentially what it is whever you look on the internet this is just another version of that I know guys who are like I'm going start a a I'm G start doing the online shop I saw this course on Andrew T that's another one everyone is looking for the quick way only fans girls are doing it everyone's trying to find their way out of the Matrix if you will and the truth is there are no easy answers it is very hard to find your place in the world and in that insecurity I can completely understand falling for these fasts it just doesn't make it healthy and I think Trad wife is just another example of that a lot of you guys are going to be stuck at home with the kids and you know how many times you hear about women like I'm going insane having to take care of these kids all day long I just want to put them in daycare I'm [ __ ] sick not everyone's built for so just careful what you try to bite on to and secondly I hope this fan dies because it's just not financially responsible and it's not reasonable for most of you and you really just see that you just really you just see the the op the the the the the positive side of it you really see the good in the glimour and everything and stuff Oho she looks so good ohoh she's cooking it's great and she's saying my marriage is great yeah cuz a person has a means for that but you're going to be Trad wife and you're going to make all everything from scratch and then he's going to have to beer with his boys and it's like you never spend time from you never spend time with me tread wife you need to do some cooking over there I'll be with my boys drinking beer that's also that yep cuz you're tra now you can't say much fact my part of the job is I brought I brought I brought the money I brought the money up and you cook and you clean I don't have to take you out I will eventually but right after you do the the dishes I I'll say I'll say this too it's not fun I'm always stuck with the kids that's your job definition okay we should we should be have a weekend out nope no the kids the kids are not in kindergarten they need someone true so that's your try to wife Ash enjoy anything else you grew tomatoes once and you have a cat and all of a sudden you think you're the queen of animals and and and and vegetables stop a farm is just but anyways let us know what you guys think in the comments below how do you guys feel about this whole Trad Quan Trad wife phenomenon Tran I don't know what it is Tran is a good name what's your name Tran know and I want to try wife

Channel: Aba N Preach

Views: 642,422

Keywords: aba preach, reaction

Id: QONsRnaouGc

Length: 17min 17sec (1037 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 04 2024