FGHT Dallas: Submission vs CONTROL

sorry Dorries [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] sorry [Music] [Music] spirit that puts the God [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] ah [Music] Freeza back he's a great guy only way to you see tell somebody I love you and I'm praying for you yeah let's say bless him Jesus there you go sometimes people forget to pray pray right now bless them long man man I want the very best for you that God has a man I pray that the blessings of the Lord will overtake you amen and that you live every day in the divine favor of our God I'm so glad to be here a man I'm glad to be in the fellowship of the believers on a family night service mothers bring your daughter's fathers bring your sons and let us worship the Lord together amen I certainly honor the Lord tonight for lady Danielle a man clap your hands and praise the Lord for her been gone for dr. Shirley Murray a man tonight thank God for pastor and sister Dimas being with us amen the four gospel holy temple in Karlin number two a man I did this somebody they love Church he'll be with us tonight he'll be with us in Garland tomorrow night then he'll be in his service Thursday night a man just love God love church and I think God for them a man been here with us and maybe I don't know your name or where you're from but I want you to know that you are welcomed here and all the times come back as much as often as you possibly can and don't forget about those that are joining us a man by way of u24 gospel in the house would you think God for those that are joining us amen whether live or at another time or date a man I appreciate the Lord for this opportunity look at somebody and tell them neighbor there is a word from the Lord amen and I am a lover of the word of our God I love mine I brought mine did you bring yours come on hold that power up thank God because everything else is going down but what but the word of our our god we've been talking for a couple weeks a man out of the book of Ephesians the fifth chapter I believe we started at verse number 22 a man through what is it verse number 33 a man but I'm not going down tonight a man a man a man I'd like to call your attention to the book of Ephesians chapter number 5 and verse 21 a man Ephesians 5 in 21 and we'll we'll start here let's see where we where we end you know I long for the day when y'all take the time limit out for me so I can preach till around 11:00 or something like that look at y'all some of y'all already know at what point you're gonna throw that church finger up in the air the one you think make you invisible when you put that up ain't nobody see you we see you walking out of here a man a man but it's so much in the Word of God a man that that that that we need in this hour a man I can remember times when people didn't put the preach on the time limit a man if he preached till 11:30 we were just in church till 11:30 a man and then after church my daddy was gonna talk to about 12 12 15 2013 a man we wasn't trying to rush home a man but I understand ain't makin Saints like they used to Ephesians 5 and 21 when you have it say man read what the Bible says submitting yourself submitting yourselves one to another one to another in the fear of God in the fear of God read that again submitting yourselves submitting yourselves one to another one to another in the fear of God in the fear of God now let's read it together everybody submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God and I want to talk tonight a man submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God what does that mean submitting yourselves one to another end of fear of God I want to talk to you about submission versus control because a lot of us have relationship in marriage completely misunderstood we think that people should fear us and do what we say Papa says wives obey your husband and we think that's a license or badge that we wear in order to get people to do what we want them to do and you know people don't want to talk like this unless they they trying to get something done and they can't get it done no other way then they want to put about what a Bible said no no the Bible says submitting yourselves one to another now we've already talked two weeks on what it means to love as Christ loved the church but but this preface is that particular portion of Scripture it starts out in the 21st verse saying submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord look at somebody gonna just say submission verses control you know the relationship between a husband and wife is only as strong as it can be when it's built on the spiritual foundation of God's instructions and the two natural pillars that we call compromise listen unless we're gonna be a pop quiz after the sermon is over compromise and what and communication you have the instruction of God but our personal responsibilities are in the area of compromise and communication what is compromise compromise being the willingness to recognize the other spouses legitimate right to have a say in the direction and in the governance of the home you've got people that just want to put a rule list on the refrigerator and everybody walk by read it and comply that's not what compromise is somebody didn't understand that when you get married you marry somebody that's not a child of yours you know there's a different way you you talk to adults and you know some of you if you ain't careful you you you'll find yourself telling people I'm all the way I'm a whole grown man you can't talk folk and feel like just because they sign your check they can't talk to you in the kind of way and you let them know in a moment I'm grown just like you are when it comes down to understanding what compromise it is being willing to recognize a legitimate right it is not something that somebody is asking for that is not rightfully theirs simply by virtue of the fact but they're in a relationship a marital situation with you it is not only for the direction but also the governance of the whole now what is communication communication being the sharing of information whether it's verbal or nonverbal between the two spouses it is the way the spouses interact one with the other and you've got to understand that both of these are realistically arts and I said all the time it's the art of compromise and the art of communication you've got the learn how to communicate and you've got to learn how to compromise if you don't understand that but you are setting yourself up for a failure in relationship you've got to know that without these two elements our home would be pulled apart as nobody would be able or even willing to learn about the other spouse you've got to know brothers and sisters that the Bible is still right when it says therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh the Bible is right he meant when it says that they've got to cleave and they've got to form now one flesh and people look at that as only a symbol of sexuality and intimacy but I don't believe that they met I believe that it has to go deeper and the physical you know that's a lot of of what people are looking for now amen in marriage they get say man I gotta hurry up and get married because I want to stay same and let me say this to you marriage is not the answer for sex problem y'all can get mad at you old Paul said it's better to marry than the bird he said better that's not the optimal thing Amen the optimal thing is to get delivered because I have found out that if you have problems in your flesh and problems Amen maintaining your discipline as far as the self is concerned then average is never going to solve that problem you've got people that are having all kinds of issues now and just because you get saving the devil chips and they're the first thing you say is that I better hurry up and get married before I pass out and fall back in the fornication well that's not the answer marriage is not the answer for undisciplined behavior amen it is not the answer for sex problem you know what the answer is it is real biblical deliverance because you can go into a marriage with a sex problem that y'all can get quite like this stuffing in the Bible amen you can go into Mary Amen with a problem having a lack of discipline and just because you're married don't mean that spirit is going to leave you alone as a matter of fact you've got people who are in a marital situation and they still cannot govern themselves properly because they were still undisciplined the behavior amen you've got people now got a beautiful wife a wonderful husband sitting right there in the house wit up and you know you still have people that are bound by pornography yaris and up in here magazine then a whole woman loves you and just wants to spend some time with you you know what that is that's a sex problem that's an undisciplined behavior y'all get quiet tonight he meant some that's not the answer you need to bring yourself submit it to the Spirit of the Lord and ask the Lord to change your heart and to crucify your flesh as you are willing to live for him every day I always say nothing because you know the Bible tells us that there are certain privileges that God have given to people who are married amen that's what sexuality is all about it's a celebration of love between two married people and I said all the time if you ain't married you ain't got none to celebrate amen so it's nothing wrong with it as long as it's done in the proper context of marriage amen anything outside of that is wrong that in the sight of God but y'all listening to what I'm trying to tell you tonight hey man so if it is wrong Amen that means that you've got to ask God to reach down on the inside of you and deliver you from that spirit that's pulling you to do the wrong thing in the sight of the Lord and so listen if that's not done then what your father said do it and still making excuses for those undisciplined areas of your life y'all hearing what I'm trying to tell you amen if you don't cover that if you don't get rid of that you find yourself making excuses for it hey man I'm better here you go hey man and now that you can have sex in the context of marriage now that's not satisfying you just not approve and so no brothers and sisters amen the problem is not that you need a husband the problem is that you need to be delivered well y'all show get quiet for me tonight amen that's the problem and we're singing now but you've got to know that without compromise and communication things will fall apart in your family if you don't master the art of communication the art of compromise then you are actually gonna be living in one house amen but everybody is going to be doing their own thing and so we've got to get rid of this now get rid of that understanding because that is not in accordance with what God has declared is right and proper can I tell you this the Bible tells us Amen that we are not our own as a matter of fact he tells us in first Corinthians the seventh chapter our selves Amen if you're married you don't own it your body hey y'all ways saying I'm not like that not spiritually you don't say your spouse no the Bible says you give yourselves to each other in the understanding of what is right and what is proper for them to have that's an important part of marriage amen it's not the only thing but it is important and you've got to know that when God calls us to compromise what it shows is that you recognize that you are not in this relationship by your self well I'm looking for the Amen section tonight that recognizes the fact that you are not in this by yourself I believe it was two weeks ago I made the statement and I'll make it again because it's true and now that it was two weeks ago when I said it marriage is not the place for selfish people y'all hear what I'm telling you tonight it's not the place for people who do not understand what compromise is all about because remember you are taking two lives and trying to force them into one situation and anybody can tell you that's not the easiest thing to do it can be done and don't let me scare you away because I told you when I was getting married way way way back in the day a man people used to talk and the way they talk it would almost make you shudder to think about marriage y'all lights don't get cut off you're gonna do this you how you gonna be in each other's throat and you don't get put out I mean they give you all this stuff that's going to go wrong and the reality is that's just what happened to them because they didn't do right by each other or leave about themselves can I tell you now rich is beautiful if you'll get in it and rock it the way that God has ordained and just because somebody else had a bad experience does not mean that you are going to have a bad experience in your relationship just because your mama your Amy your cousin your uncle a man and you're great on twice-removed got divorce that does not mean that your marriage is doomed to failure as a matter of fact if you will build your marriage of the solid ground of the Word of God you will find that there is nothing impossible amen and cannot be accomplished you got to know Amen that you're not in it by yourself so you cannot come in a marriage according to its the my way or the highway attitude and you know you've got some people like that they are just so uncompromising that it's that way or its no way at all and you wonder that they really just want to marry themselves what is my purpose of you not you but I never wonder why people are like they are what makes them so dominant so domineering so overbearing what makes them so nitpicky in a relationship amen to the point to where you've got to have your way or no way at all what did you see growing up that said to you that if you trust anybody else in the relationship it's not going to work and the only way this marriage is going to work is if I get in there and do everything my own way you are guaranteeing that the relationship is going to have a whole lot of trouble y'all can get quite a mochi token a lack of compromise will only bring about greater conflict because everybody in the relationship is going to fight for the opportunity to prove a point if you cannot compromise that means the only thing is for everybody involved to try to prove that point and try to make sure that everybody knows that I was right and that you were wrong but brothers and sisters that's a dangerous place to be because when it comes down to being the competition of who's right and who's wrong and who's more right than somebody then what you're going to find is that those issues are going to transfer us in the present situation and you're going to start having problems in other areas when you start that competitive spirit in your relationship and everybody now is out to prove that you're wrong and I'm right then what's going to happen is going to set such bad blood in the relationship that you're going to start to have problems in areas had nothing to do with the original situation that's the reason why you've got to learn now a member art of compromise you've got to learn that every time you get into a situation it just don't have to go your way you want to know that you're legitimate you want to know that you have a right to your opinions you want to know that you have a right to be heard and sometimes even though you may have the greater point you got to ask yourself is this really what I want out of my relationship see I've been trying to tell people with a whole lot of us is that we just don't know how to step from the situation what do I want do I want to be right when you're just so dead set on proving the fact that you're right you're going to damage somebody in the process and when your home is geared toward being right and showing somebody else that they're wrong that means after Wow you gonna do what you gotta do to win and that means if you gotta break that heart if you got to hurt their feelings you always say nothing if they gotta go without you're going to do whatever you wanna do to win because the Bible tells us that everywhere of a man is right in his own eyes all you want to do is prove a point then even when they show you the error of your way because you got over into competitive mode well y'all Shogun quiet tonight that's what it that's the danger of a competition because even when it's time for people to say I'm sorry you notice you came but hauling fire nobody now willing to say I'm sorry it is such a competition now but even when you got wrong listen it's one thing to compete with people I've ever in the world but the one place you are not have to compete it's right there in your own house leaving me out here by myself this is the problem in so many homes everybody wants to be so right so bad that they're willing to forego the peace that means more than being right and once you get into this stuff now you don't stop until somebody is crying you won't even stop until they know not to mess with you next time you just gotta prove a point and you don't even care how you're damaging the other person this is the danger being somebody that's been unyielding and unwilling to yield and what a marriage turns into a competition then what you find is that people start putting the squeeze on you until you recognize them as the legitimate partner in the relationship now the air is just bad you keep wanting to get your way I don't never have a say I can never say nothing you don't never listen to me and all of that now if you say I need some salt next time you eat ain't none but salt in the food just what's the problem and you said I don't even understand what did I do to you and they don't even have to be men you did today but you have introduced that spirit into your relationship that now causes people not even to be able to get along now trash piling up maybe you're gonna take the trash out you don't cook down with food that's what's in the trash can you take it out just not stuff though he makes sense but you got a competition and everything is now a standoff because nobody understood how to govern this home listen I know you are the king of your castle I know you know queen of the house but now you need each other y'all ain't said nothing I know the natural to devil to tell you that that that ain't it I heard a man say the other day a woman told him yeah yeah I know you're the king but I'm a queen is your ain't nothing without me cuz if you need a queen in order be a king he said no all I need is the kingdom me no Queen in order to be a king oh you need a kingdom but in the spirit and you got to walk with each other for the welfare and the benefit of this home and just like I said last week I said again and that is know normally when you're building a marriage this is what compromise is necessary because once you get into a marriage you can't say normally normally I told you what and let me tell on myself the first year I was married I took a whole lot of things for granted I just did I just felt like I gave you my last name your murmur now we do things the way Murray's doing no matter what I said that's just you know I look back on it and I can interpret my own actions and I remember growing up on Thanksgiving we went to my my mother's mother's house on Christmas we were with apostle and sister Mary and and and we stayed all day because I wasn't married and so that was that was my family and so growing up that's what I normally did y'all laughing like y'all know the end of the story I haven't even told y'all yet and and I remember the first Christmas that we were married we were over apostle and sister Mary's house because that's what we normally did and we would go we would eat some of us would take a nap get up eat again sit around and talk to about 10:30 11 12 o'clock then we'd go home after we fixed to go plates and I remember the first the first Christmas we were married we were we were at a pond summers house and I guess around maybe about five or six o'clock Danielle said Herman we need to go so I can go to my mother's house and I was like oh okay but you know in my mind I guess I was in but that ain't what we normally do and so she came back around probably 7:30 8 o'clock said Herman we you know III want to go see my mama and I'm just you know my mind is not even in her in a rush I'm not in a hurry because this is what's normal to me and so then around 10 o'clock she says Herman she says I need to go to my mama's house and see my mom and them on Christmas I want to go it's ok here I come listen I'm really not as bad as some of y'all have painted me out already I haven't finished the story and and and and III would only fix that the gold plates and all that got my gifts and and and she was already in the car and when I got out to the car she was crying even you don't turn over come on now I depend on you she was crying and I felt horrible I deserve it go ahead and crap because thank God I had a a mind I felt destroyed behind that she's crying because I'm acting like I normally joking that is normally when you get married everything is acting like people ought to be happy just to be with you compromise I said it before this is nothing to do with normally marriage building a marriage means that it's going to take more than just you to make this work listen anybody that's used to working with more than one person can tell you it is going to work we've gotta work together we can't work against each other we can't work outside of each other you always saying that we can't work around each other we got to work together thank you Ephesians 5 and 31 says for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined his wife and they two shall be one - a part of compromising is recognized and with strengths and weaknesses lying and situate in your lives so that the end result is a successful marriage a part of compromise is recognizing that you ain't strong in every situation know you got a lot of arrogant people that think they can do everything and they think they can do it better listen sometimes you gotta get back and let people do what they can do it does not make you weak because you recognize that somebody else has a greater strength in an area than you do you can have a weakness but that don't make you overall weak a man you've got to recognize where strengths are you've got to recognize what you can do recognize where other people are more proficient and it's sad because now in a place to where husbands and wives can't work together because they're still too busy competing with each other now he's angry because she got a raise on the job and now she's making $200 a month more than he is now he has an attitude don't set her straight I don't care how much money you make I'm the man of this house if you got to keep saying that then chances are some a right communication let me hurry it's so much more than just your words but they are your words in a big part we think of communication talked about compromise let's talk about communication sometimes we think that it's the conversation of words when it could be also the conversation of conduct because your conduct is what says to people that you believe what you say that you believe it is it is the validation of your words what you do proves what you really believe don't don't listen to what a person says watch what a person does because it is the action that a person takes that validates the words that came out of their mouth and so yes it's more than just words but words are big part of it you know there are a whole lot of marriages many marriages on the rocks and some of them are destroyed tonight because of words because it words people don't understand compromise on communication go together they're so unyielding that that their fingers like I told you I want to win and I think I said it last week when you get into that mode then it's not about you really hearing anything it's not about you wanting to know what another person thing so what they believe the only thing you want to do is be heard because you feel like your words are so much more important and so much more right than anything that could come out of their mouths and so even though they have legitimate conversation and even though they have legitimate reasons for saying what they say a person that is uncompromising will never sit there and listen to nobody as a matter of fact when disagreements come about and they are inevitable I didn't say arguments I said disagreements because remember you're two different lives trying to come together as one and so whenever those areas of disagreement come when you are uncompromising it is it is only because you're not willing to hear anything you want to be heard and like I told you last week that's the reason why when people start argue and I don't believe in argue and I don't believe in the raising your boys if you got to do our lap then something right in this house especially when both of you say you're saved you got to save people and stuff getting out of hand like that to save people that I mean the atmosphere so hot the popcorn popping in the pantry you just everything just going off and and you throw in dishes and listen and you save and got the Holy Ghost and you gonna take a cup and throw it across the room that's conversation that's the conversation of conduct you're gonna take a plate and smash it against the wall then the Bible gives us space for anger he said you know anger is a human emotion so he said anger but sin not and some of us are going beyond just anger they made me angry listen I told him last night you've got to be emotionally healthy enough not to do everything that come to your mind you can't sit there and say well I did it because they made me angry now you're just not emotionally healthy because if you emotionally helped it couldn't nobody make you do nothing I told him a good friend of mine said if Paul and Silas could be in jail and they chose to sing praises and pray to God then don't tell me somebody made you so angry you can help yourself you just got emotionally unhealthy and now you thought it was better I've been sitting down and compromising and talking about now you sitting up I mean do you think if that cup had to hit him Lord Yahweh's and then somebody's forgave him praying like they need to pray even faster and you gonna hit them with a cop don't do that you you you can't do that that's the conversation of conduct but when you're not winning a compromise all you want to do is get your point across and that's the reason why you don't even listen anytime you gotta argue like that NATO matters shutting up and ain't nobody listening nobody then that means that communication has effectively broke down at that point you just need everybody go to your neutral corners until you have the sense enough to sit down and be what God wants you to be which is a discipline child of God because of your own discipline you're not trying to hear anything that's the reason why everybody trying out talk everybody have you seen that no don't don't but if you have you've seen people like that start talking and everybody talking normal and then the other person jump in and you're a rebel - shut up yet because you ain't through making your point you know what that was about you being heard you didn't wanna hear nothing and at the point where you were gonna be forced to hear you raise your voice so that you didn't have to compromise something they right and then the problem with that is if you keep talking out the wild you gonna say something you regret oh because when you just want to win that means your words are get sharper and sharper and sharper and sharper than what they just said after a while you talk about your mama's can't cook and in her own backwards and and all this stuff and then now everything is up in the app now everybody's just mad everybody angry and the thing is that's an emotion and the danger in talking out of your emotions is that emotions will change and when your emotion change are you a mad no more now you don't say some stuff that they can't forget and now you ready to move on Randy 11:35 then they still sit up there because you don't got them an anger mode and now you run around the house acting like what not ever going wrong you want some water no I'm gonna no water I'm gonna hear the popsicle you won't why you don't start up all this anger and now you ready to move on and be done yet being angry and the fact that you walk around smiling making them even angrier that they walk but you do and you don't start about his atmosphere cold out of marriages destroyed behind words I was reading a story I guess it was what's today Tuesday Sunday about a woman that went went to therapists and she was saying my marriage is in trouble I needs help and she kept talking to a therapist was trying his best to help out and she just kept talking and therapist said I tell you what the next time you and that man get in trouble take a glass of water drink a mouthful of water don't swallow it and just swish it around in your mouth and just keep swishing and keep swishing it and keeps swishing and keeps swishing it and keeps swishing it and then when things die down then swallow it she came back a week later she said you saved my marriage she said I don't understand what in the so that water had to do with the problems I was having in my marriage and the pepper said it wasn't done in the water it was just the fact that while it was in your mouth you couldn't say nothing the problem was you to know how to shut up touch somebody and tell them keep a glass of water next to your bed you know about now y'all laughter the Bible says started to be quiet you know what that means that means you can actually get to a level of education about setting up you need a master's degree in shuttin up because a whole lot of things ain't wrong about women I'm talking with men to a whole lot of things can be avoided if we just stop talking so much and learn how to properly communicate get me James three and five through eight and now you didn't close your Bible did you now how much time y'all gonna give me cuz I got a I'm gonna turn the page in just a minute it's a lot on there James five three through eight read what the Bible says three three and five okay even so the tongue read out it's a little member and it boasts great things behold how great a matter did y'all hear that your tongue is a little member that boasted great things behold how great a matter a little fire kindling your tongue what are the smallest muscles in your body probably but look at the damage it can cause look at what a matter a little fire kindling Wow my eyes have started with a single match thousands and thousands of acres on fire and it all started there's a little match and and a whole lot of trouble in your house can start with that little turn in your mouth because you didn't know how to be quiet and and because you want it to be right you know what that's a selfish spirit that that's almost demonic I didn't say you're demon-possessed I'm just saying that's under the influence of the enemy that makes you want to damage people just so you can feel better about yourself that's sad and you say you read up how can you read off somebody and everything that come to your mind comes out of your mouth I don't care you if you if you if you see it or if you found it it ain't got to come out of your mouth that look wrong in your mouth it's responsible for destroying a whole lot of houses keep reading and the tongue is a fire and the tongue is a fire a world of an equal world of iniquity read so is the tongue among our members uh-huh that it defile it the whole bar it'll defile your whole body that tongue would get a ring around your eye now your eyes suffers because of your tongue I tell them streets trying to talk to people like they crazy and now your eye all the way closed up because of your tongue walking up to people what you looking at okay the tongue has caused people to die and faith fatal shootings and and fights the tongue is responsible for even taking people's life look at that tongue pinion look at somebody turn on watch your mouth breathe and set it on fire uh-huh the course of nature and it is set on fire of hail Reeth for every kind of beasts every kind of beast and a bird and a bird and of CERP serpents and of things in the scenes in the sea is tamed they are all tamed and actually that they they they tame eagles and hawks and and sometimes you see them flying and swooping and a man sitting there with a glove on and they'll come from way up out of nowhere and land right on that glove they don't aim you see these people charming snakes they sit down a snake just and they've been down and kiss a cobra on the head they got bears riding tricycles in the circus lions jumping through hoops and whales at SeaWorld and and all kind of stuff they tamed it out but the Bible said that tongue in your mouth they contained the beasts of the field but they turned in your mouth okay child I almost told you something that tongue in your mouth that tongue it's set on thighs of hell real and had been tamed of mankind uh-huh but the tongue but the tongue can no man can no man say it is an unruly evil full of deadly poison oh honey on your lips but pausing on your tongue no man can tame your tongue with men it's impossible but not with God you know what if you still flying up at the mouth you need to be delivered if you sit there I just couldn't help myself and you sitting down your hands shaking and you just trying not in general sense um Fatima you made me say no you need to be delivered and in relationship in marriage this is the person you say your love but you love them but you willing to sell short of hurtful things just a winner's argument do you really love the Bible said no man ever hated his own flesh you love him but you know there's certain things that you can say that get him and me an egotistical anyway you know and you just got to learn how to talk to each other cuz if you ain't careful you'll give each other complexes you know and I said all the time you really got to be forgiving because every word is not a malicious word I'll say that and I get it sometimes people do but now just because they do at times don't mean they do at all times because every time a person makes a mistake in communication it's not with malicious intent you understand what I'm saying sometimes men just don't think they nobody said nothing sometimes men just they'll say whatever comes to mind you know you walking in the store and you over there in the section looking at a dress what you're doing over here in a size 8 why are you going to the petite section he didn't think about that now you don't got this complex he think I'm big and just he didn't think about it don't get angry because everything wasn't done with malicious intent sometimes men just don't think first and I'm one of them sometimes we just don't I told you I was in Sweet Georgia Brown looking at I want to say some of the healthier foods on the menu but I was getting something to eat and a man in front of me called himself I told you this before flirting with a woman that was in front of him she had two kids and and and he called himself flirting with her and he thought young and proud he looked and he said is it a girl or boy and she turned to her listen listen if you don't know for sure don't even ask them kind of questions don't ask a winner you do or how old is your child don't ask them questions and he said is it a boy or a girl and she turned around I guess he thought she was pregnant and she turned around and she looked at it he knew he messed up and he tried to recover he was smooth he looked at the two kids in front of said Devon right they're never there so Fred I can't tell with your support liar sometimes let me go on listen sometimes they just don't think let me hurry up my time is running out but you should honestly love each other enough not to say everything that comes to your mind even though you know what you have in the chamber can end the contest of words you know all you got to do is say that one thing and that's gonna shut this hole you didn't got that the champ you done said every night after the last time you lost the argument and now you even set up late at night trying to figure out a good when you don't got a goober now you got it in the chamber you just waiting on to say something cuz you know you got to shut the whole argument down you know when you have those kind of expectations you'll start baiting conversations hoping they bite that hook and when they bite that hook or you know you been you doesn't set the scene for you to kill them with this one but if you say you love them is that really the damage that you're willing to cause sometimes you can say something that goes deeper than just the person's ears sometimes it'll break their heart sometime to break their spirit and you don't want to ever say something that you'll spend 20 years apologize and forth and every time something comes up and things are not going right and you think you done moved on and she say remember that time because some things people don't just get over like that they have to learn to live with it y'all getting quiet I told you there was a there was a gentleman that came two years ago to one of our services and he got up and he was getting ready to read the scripture and when he started reading the scripture I think it was his upper dentures came out his feet fell out of mine and right before they got out of reach I'm gonna stop because you know they yeah but it's not laughing y'all gonna get old his teeth came out when he did he caught him with his lip and that he was with his teeth hanging out and he caught up some of y'all with that caught him with his lip and when he did he could push them back up in now and I was sitting right next to his wife in the service and she hollered up to the pulpit that's all right baby that's all right and he started reading this and he went oh and you're not thinking about it sometimes sometimes don't we wish our words were like his teeth that when they found out we could hurry up and catch them and pull them back in the problem is were saying like that once that word come out of you you can't catch it you can't pull it back in once you say it they heard it and you know what I didn't really mean it it's not an adequate excuse when it really hurts somebody oh I didn't mean that but if you didn't mean that you wouldn't have said it but we were just argued yeah but but yeah it was too detailed you didn't said it been thought about that that was in your heart harder that you just didn't mean to say it but it don't mean that you wasn't thinking it and you don't think it's true and now you're gonna spend all this time trying to explain something you gotta learn the art of come listen God can help you to shut up and if you don't know how lift your hands right now and ask God to teach you how to shut up I didn't see number one hand going up in there so that means I should have all this marriage counselor yeah what a good advertisement sister Mary wrote a book if you don't have it go back to the book store before service is over and get you a copy of the power of silence silence is powerful you don't to say everything whether it make me look weak if I don't put up a fight no it dont that just means you're smart enough and mature enough to realize that you got bigger fish to fry get me proverbs 15 in one dance turneth away wrath but grievous words Cerebus words stir stir up anger you stir that up and now you got a deal with that situation you stir you made the atmosphere conducive to this argument you started up you mix that stuff up you played in it until it just got out of hand and a soft answer turneth away wrath sometimes you got to understand the power of a yes dear the power of a okay but now you saw someone that's the dumbest thing I've ever had it about you have just lost the peace in your house you could have cut that off just like that with all right but now here it is three hours later you sitting there trying to win is she gonna be quiet you doin started a soft answer turneth away well but Grievous words stir up anger let me hasten when you master the art of compromise and communication you own your way to a healthy marriage compromise and communication allows for the bringing about a mutual respect that forever allows for mutual submission you have to respect each other to submit to each other and so a household should be governed by the principles of mutual respect that allows for mutual submission in this way wives submit to their husbands as the head of the home plant get no amens y'all do know that the husband is still the head of the wife right I told you you find a whole lot of women's conferences and women this and how many times do you hit these women conferences that the man is still the head of the home they don't talk about this is the me to error I don't care what kind of error it is the husband is still the head of the wife and so in this way the wives submit to the husband as the head of the home and let me say this and he don't have to be saved for you to submit to him see that's how a whole lot of people mess up you ain't got none tell me cuz you ain't got to hold it goes well listen he's the head of that boy y'all sure getting quiet cuz you thought because you were saving he didn't that gave you permission to go home and up into your house boy I need to hang my head here ain't nobody saying that don't give you permission just because he ain't saving ain't got the Holy Ghost amen and let me say this how long did it take you to get it you got people that took them fifty years to get saved and filled with the Holy Ghost they've been saying three months and because a husband came engine shine I can't stay with him I'm not pleased to dwell you're out of order well y'all gettin quiet now can I tell you you can say they'll give you permission to divorce nobody the Bible said if you're bound don't seek to be loosed that's what the word says don't seek to be loose but he says if you conduct your civil right then you can be used of God to sanctify your unsaved spouse instead of trying to jump out why don't you ask God to let you be a shining example of his love and His grace but she's got to submit and he don't have to be saved stop telling him that he's not your head because he's not saved if he's the head of the family he's the head of that home the Bible said if you submit unto your husband as unto the Lord hey man you got good people out there all you got to do is just be an example and they got a watch y'all some of them are just watch in your life and here you are you changing your whole attitude because they rushing into the church and it took you 50 years to get here and not that nice woman that wasn't save you was all nice cuz y'all was out there hanging out at the clubs together and yeah I was doing this taking pictures and smiling and holding hands til your sweat and all this kind of stuff and then soon as you get saved now all of a sudden your demeanor change you're talking to him crazy because he ain't hurrying up and coming in the church and getting saved you are out of order and let me be the first one to tell you you're out of order because you were nice as a sinner and now you're angry as a saint because he's not rushing to the altar you are out of order man you take it upon yourself doing stuff and disrespecting him in the home you can't do that no if he still the head of the home you don't make decisions without his without his consent or without his involvement you talk about stuff you don't just do stuff you don't do something don't even communicate with know about it and he look up and it's just done and you ain't sitting on him and you expect that he just got to live with it you are out of order and God's gonna get you a husband that go for you too if you're out of order God is going to record with you after wild because you're hindering people from knowing the truth of the Grace and the love of God by how you're treating them in your own house so mutual respect brings about mutual submission husband's must also submit to their wives not as the leader don't submit to her as your leader but you submit and that you have a loving duty to be sensitive to her needs that's the level of your submission understand your duty to be sense to her knees get me first Peter that three and seven likewise likewise ye husband's dwell with them according to knowledge dwell with them according to knowledge and that word knowledge if you look it up it really means to understand them dwell with them according to understanding dwell with them read giving honor giving honor unto the wise unto the wise as unto the weaker vessel as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together as being heirs together of the grace of life how that your prayers be not hindered that your prayers be not hindered dwell together with her in knowledge which means in understanding you should seek to understand her and and there was some theologians that felt like uh that what he was alluding to was her physical needs but that's not just it if you think that's how our marriage is you're sadly mistaken it's so much more than that you can be as wonderful as you want to be in one area and you think that's the area that really matters it's not because when the deed is done and it's over you still live you don't just come home or come together when it's time to do that there's a whole lot of other stuff goes into a marriage and you got to dwell with her but the understanding or with knowledge and listen to what he means he means you've got to use what you understand about her to help you to dwell with her understand the secret understanding and so you're able to dwell with her and live with her and you're successful because now you're not treating her like you would a slave a child or an employee but you understand her and your understanding allows you to dwell with and some people need to get that man she's not your child you don't treat her like a child you know you don't talk to her like a child get out of my face now listen you don't you don't talk to nobody that way are y'all hearing what I'm trying to tell you because I counsel people and they'll sit there and they'll tell me the stuff that they say and then wonder why things are not right in their homes wonder why there's a problem that seems like it can't be south because you don't treat nobody that way and now she feels like you didn't walk away you wanted another child you don't treat her like she's a slave you come in the house take your clothes off and they right then in living room she doesn't clean up the house or he doesn't cleaned up the house and you come in and just throw stuff everywhere no you don't do stuff like that because you didn't marry a maid well y'all getting quiet now you didn't marry no child you married a wife and the Bible says that when you marry her look at what he says he says out of her in net what he says he says to honor her that means that even though she's got to come subject to you you should honor her so that she don't feel less than in this relationship she'll submit to you but in her submitting you honor her so that she's not feeling like she's a lesser partner in the relationship I love this woman I love the fact that she honors you as her here don't sit there and want to be a king on the throne and treat everybody else in the house like subjects that's not how you run a successful marriage the Bible teaches that in this type of imbalance it can lead to your prayers being hindered some people wondering why they can't get ahead why does that things are not going right why is it that my life seems chaotic and out of order and you don't even realize God said that if you are this type of connection in this type of Union and you cannot handle it in a proper way he said your prayers will be hindered you're praising him because you don't know how to do things decently and in order God will punish you for how you treat your wife God will punish you for how you treat your husband and now you're trying to come together and things enough and you want to pray about that stuff but then that other stuff is feel chaotic and you're okay with that no you know what this tells me this tells me that since the Bible teaches us that we have responsibilities to each other the only way that a marriage can work successfully cannot be through control it's got to be through submission but that means you have to give people something to submit to you've got a lot of men that feel like because they're male biologically that you should bow down and do everything that they say just because they're biologically male that just makes them the cream of the crop and because you're just a poor woman you should do everything that they say but mail you got that wrong you don't lead a family about control you live and govern yourself in such a way that it becomes a pleasure for this woman to submit to you and you know what I found out I found out over the years that a woman loves a strong man I'm trying to tell you what I know she love a strong man she want a man's man she want a manly man and when a man is what he needs to be a woman don't mind coming subject to that kind of man you know what I have seen I have seen I have seen a heart and lesbians that look like if you look at him you wouldn't hardly be able to tell the difference between them and a man but I seen a man the man a alpha male come up to him and talk to him and you know what I've seen I've seen a a hard hard hard lesbian start blushing because it's something about a man being who God called him to be that makes the submission a whole lot easier now y'all want me to hurry up I see you're yawning but I got a few more scriptures I want to open up to you if you wanted to submit give us something worthy to submit to if you want him to submit to you mutually give him something worthy for him to submit to you want her to treat you like a king and this is the third eviction notice she's got in the last 12 months and it's not that you don't have a job because you know what I found out too I found out that if a woman really loves a man and he's been a man like he's supposed to be a man a woman would live in a car with him if she knows that he has done the best that he could do that he was a man if he found her hard times she ain't gonna leave him because he's a real man she'll sit up on the bridge with him because she loves him and she know he loves and he honors her but when you makin $5,000 a month and she look up and still get me picture notices on the dough then she go ahead and get a second job and start sitting the money on herself I just feel like I ain't a man on my house no more you got to give her something to submit to well y'all get quiet you have to be a man the Bible said in business be men how do your business right give this woman shopping to submit to rather than trying to control her give us something that she don't mind coming subject to you're trying to push her over with all these other people on that side and then you want her to just submit now you you're really just trying to force this woman you don't want to compromise and so you're trying to run over this woman you're going out doing all kind of stuff with all kind of people and she found out about it and you said what you're gonna do yeah that's not you're trying to control her you think she can't do no better than somebody sorry no give us something to submit to because if it's going to work it's not gonna work because you point your finger and saying do this and go fix me a sandwich and go in here and listen no Lord listen and if she get up and goes you know you got the right one thank God did you got the one you got because you tell some of these women get him don't get fix me a sandwich you'd be crazy to eat it when she come back she being that wife on the back of the refrigerator with the meat and everything get him but then you you crazy don't talk crazy then say kid man cook me something the devil is alive we going out tonight to control is to dictator exercise dominance but if you have to force her to do anything what kind of marriage do you really have if you confident joking half to death and that woman just land over the bed acting like she don't hear what kind of marriage do you have a man you know that said you sitting at the table chokers you ain't get them do the Heimlich on you sitting there living she still even waiting to see if God about to deliver up what kind of marriage you got that's it what are you patch on your back your call just sit there let your choke what kind of marriage you got you've got to live in a way that allows your spouse to be comfortable submitting to you because they have something worth submitting to bring qualities to the table learn the art of compromise and communication brings something that allows them to be proud of the fact that they're with you and that the two of you are in it together to make this work submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord stand to your feet part of any marriages is being able to forgive that's a part of it being able to forgive some time we're taking things personally that's really not personal at all sometimes people have just made a mistake but you've got to recognize the fact that they are better than their worst selves they're better than the mistake they made it wasn't malicious sometimes it was just one thing they did wrong and you can hold it one thing and act like they ain't no good because of that one mistake they made they're better than the one thing that they did wrong you can't base a whole marriage on one thing anyway you know what the Bible says if you don't forgive those that trespass against you your father won't forgive you you got a whole lot of folk testifying I thank God I've been forgiven but then I'll go right home still hold this stuff over people hear it they did five years ago then you'll say I forgive you but every time some come up here it come finding its way into the conversation you really didn't forgive you know forgiveness is a choice it's something you can do if he says to forgive that means forgiveness is within your power to do and the enemy is after marriages now he's trying to destroy him trying to tear them apart and people are listening to this new-age foolishness they're trying to take out a governor marriage and and listen find everything you need all your instruction in the Word of God this right here this is what's going to determine whether it's successful or whether you're just looking for mess up a downfall a marital collapse soonerlater if you learn how to be who God called you to be work on you don't try to change nobody else work on you make sure you're giving people something worth submitting to men and women because if we've got to submit to each other that means everybody needs to bring some qualities and some values to the table you shouldn't have to force it you should live in a way that they're pleased to dwell with you every head bowed every eye closed if there's somebody at tonight it's not saved and you don't know him in the pardon of your sin I want you to come to this altar to name Amen come on if you're here you need the Holy Ghost I want you to come if you have a need in your life I want you to come I want you to come that's it hallelujah the enemy is trying to destroy he's trying to tear things apart but there's somebody here tonight that's willing to fight for what God has given you and you don't want to just give it over to the devil and let him tell your part come on the power of God is real come on maybe the enemy is trying to destroy your marriage I want you to become I want you to come and let's believe him let's believe him sometimes you just these guys got to teach you the things that you don't know stop acting like you know at all sometimes if you knew better you do better you just have to ask him God the things that I'm eating or not the things that I don't know show me teach me give me instruction I didn't start this journey to watch everything collapse around me I want to do you we'll come on let's believe him tonight if there's another they're coming come come on they're coming that's it come on that's it that's it teach me Lord teach me what I need to know show me what I need to do they're coming that's it come on they're still coming we're gonna get this right we'll be an example to the world of what God is able to do when you put him first and do it his way elders would you'd come there are some that want to be saved some may need the Holy Ghost would you pray with them hallelujah [Music]

Channel: Full Gospel Holy Temple

Views: 19,231

Keywords: full, gospel, holy, temple, Bishop, Herman, Murray, Jr, Apostle, Convocation, holiness, god, jesus, heaven

Id: n8woeO75QoI

Length: 83min 52sec (5032 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 26 2019