Feeling Like I Need To Get Off Trail (raw & emotional) | Appalachian Trail Thru-Hike 2023

hour I woke up and my eye is so red and it hurts to keep it open and it's like non-stop watering I've just been laying here with my eyes closed because it hurts I eventually got it done I packed up so this has been actually like the third or fourth time I've woken up on trail and had my eye just be red and really painful to keep it open so this morning I was actually proud of myself I woke up early and then I started to pack up and then I just kept laying back down and closing my eyes just because it was just I don't know my eyes wouldn't stop watering it was painful I do have 30 day contacts in um and I last switched them out in Pennsylvania so I switched them out it was probably time but I don't think that was the issue but I think maybe having some of the the new contact and the solution maybe helped a little bit but I don't know I also looked up the weather this morning every single day in the forecast has some sort of rain so that's great uh it looks like it might start raining any second right now so I'm starting hiking with my rain jacket on and hopefully today can be a big day we'll see I think it would be cool to end at the barn door hostel I haven't made a reservation just because I'm not sure if I can actually make it 22 miles but maybe I'll reassess the situation at lunch or at some midday break and I think it'd be really cool to stay there because then maybe I can use them to slack pack tomorrow and I think that would be really good for me so we'll see that's the goal taking a little bit of a break right here it's almost 11 o'clock right now and I've hiked five miles this is kind of the top of a climb right here so I figured it was a good spot to sit down and have a little break my eye is still super irritated and it's really sensitive to light and the combination of that and just being overall tired it's been super hard to keep my eyes open I don't have sunglasses I actually just got rid of them yesterday because I noticed that the lenses were turning black it's probably from the amount that the the case was rubbing against the lenses so yeah that's a little bit of a bummer um I'm just gonna stop and have some Wheat Thins and then continue on yeah my blisters feel fine today but now my eyes hurt so it's always something this section of the at is not well traveled right where I am right now and I just pulled three ticks off of my legs so that's not fun I was kind of tempted to just walk along the road for this section instead of in the woods because I knew a lot of people don't go down this section and it's not as well maintained but I did it is kind of tough to stay positive lately also the bugs are really bad but it just seems like nothing about this through hike is enjoyable at the moment today's Monday I'm hiking Tuesday and then Wednesday I have my first zero day and over 1 000 miles so I am really looking forward to that I've just been walking back and forth on this little section of Trail for a really long time because I'm just having a lot of trouble finding the motivation to keep going north at least for right now um if I kept going north my next road crossing is in I don't know 12 miles and I don't know if I can get there tonight I can't believe I'm doing this and I'm like giving myself a headache from overthinking this situation but I turned around and I'm hiking back south to get to a trailhead because I want to get picked up and go home this is my first time crying on the Appalachian Trail and I always said I'd I'd hike until it's not fun anymore because I don't want to do something that I don't think is fun so I don't know if I keep going north I wouldn't get to a road crossing for another 12 miles and when I woke up this morning I thought it would have been easy to get to that road crossing and I could go to the barn door hostel and I don't know escape the rain tonight um but as I'm climbing up smarts Mountain I just I I just have no motivation to keep hiking North I stopped for a while I've taken the longest breaks I ever have coming up here like this is not normal for me um so I turned around and now I'm hiking back south to the smarts Mountain Trailhead it's like 2 30. and I'm hoping Chet can come pick me up after work he probably works until five so the earliest he'd probably get here is 6 30. I don't know I just feel like I need a break I'm just pushing myself way too hard I just don't think it's fun anymore I say don't quit on a bad day but the next 70s are gonna be all rain so I don't know I won the next good day I'm gonna have this cry and think about it I calmed down a little bit I'm so pretty upset and I'm so excited to go home tonight I'm back at this look out because they're service and if I just go down to the trailhead right now there's not going to be any so might as well just stay here until Chet's on his way so I know for sure he's coming he said he'll come right after work so I'm really thankful for that I'm less than an hour and a half away from my house so that's good but yeah I think I just need sometime at home to do absolutely nothing like I don't know I just need some some good self-care time and I'm also looking for a step back from Trail food I think that's also something I'm super sick of at the moment I look at my food bag I resupplied yesterday it was a crazy reason why I got so much stuff definitely enough stuff for three days and nothing looks appetizing so I think I just need to just eat some eat some good real healthy food take a step back and make sure my mental health is okay before I get back on the trail I wonder if I would still feel like this if I didn't see seven days of rain in the forecast I don't know there's so many like what ifs but I don't want to think about the posts right now I'm just doing what's best for me in the moment can you see the amount of bugs here ah this is the whole Trail I've got my eye time to leave this little spot I've been here for over three hours I mean it's a nice spot to just wait out but I'm gonna head back down the mountain to the parking lot and then chat will be there soon and I'll go home and I have no idea what is in store for me after that I could be home for two days I could be home for a week I could be home for a few months I think those are my options and I will definitely be guys updated one last look I'll see you down there almost home nice check gonna go get some Five Guys for us I think that'll make me feel a little better right I am home I ate dinner I showered I get to wear my glasses because as I was saying earlier my eyes were just super red and swollen and sensitive so it's gonna feel good to take my contacts out for a couple days and wear my glasses instead today hiked a total of about 10 miles I bailed about a quarter of the way up smarts Mountain before I turn around and went back to the trailhead got back home later what was it like nine o'clock um I'm sure I'll have more to update you tomorrow tomorrow is most certainly going to be a zero day and yeah I'll explain more how I'm feeling and what my plans are tomorrow so good night and I'll see see you then

Channel: Taylor the Nahamsha Hiker

Views: 63,000

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Id: k3hQsxf0SrM

Length: 12min 12sec (732 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 24 2023