Fear of Adversity || NBF 353 || Dr Shadee Elmasry

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[Music] m sing all oh my heart e okay I think we're good yeah think the that's weird welcome everybody to the Safina Society nothing but facts live stream on a gorgeous Tuesday Sunny warm here in the great state of New Jersey where we're going to continue on today uh segment number one we're going to talk more about this this book Ed depression anxiety causes and treatments um we talked the first one he said fear of uh what was it not knowing the reality of Life the first cause not knowing my Origins not knowing my reality of Life second one fear of the future fear of the future and fear of the future he said this example of the train ride essentially you you get kidnapped in the middle of the night you wake up on a bed on a train nobody who starts distracting you and saying Hey listen um the trees are outside of really nice the food they're about to serve you really good food they're about to have an Entertainer come and and entertain us these questions are irrelevant these things are just nothing but distractions and in fact the more people try to distract you you got to in start to imagine it's nefarious the more the distractions the more nefarious it get it's one of the reasons why our religion has a cast a lot a long Shadow against play and distraction right it's a big problem so why are you distracting why don't we get to the real core issue who put me on this train where are we going what Authority you have to put me here all these questions and here is where uh the book which we're reading from you can get it from Noah it's Noah books but you probably get it from um from Amazon fear of failure in the future he talks about so there's the overall fear of where is life going the mic has gone a bit funny says ala 213 H Instagram does that it's fixed never mind oh it's Instagram sometimes thank you for alwe 213 fear of failure of the future is that the immediate future people f fear the immediate future and this happens to people they get this state sometimes that overcome with with worries about the immediate future he said this this is the second cause of fear uh is the fear of failure fear failure can be in the academic field in the work field in business in trade and Agriculture and it's all comparison itis the disease of comparing yourself to other people I love what Einstein said he said if a a shark Compares himself to a pigeon he'll never succeed and he's a shark versus little pigeon walking around eating trash in the city or whatever you can't you never uh uh compare yourself to somebody who lived a whole different life born in a whole different scenario comparison is the biggest source of depression for a lot of people which is why social media magazines TV music probably have caused as much good as they're used for they probably caused triple or qu quadruple the amount of grief for people sadness and grief because nobody you're taking like the 0.1% of you know genetic fortune and you're elevating it you know to the highest height and everyone therefore has to look at that and become feel feel um you know insignificant about it fear of failure can also be when someone finds himself indulged in sin without any hope in Allah's forgiveness the common denominator here is the fear of future failure this is the second cause and one of men the main sources of psychological anxiety this cause needs to be explained first so he said God forbid Allah forbid that your heart is devoid of faith in Allah and that your conviction is B of belief and trust in him therefore when you are young and you go to school you look at the people around you notice some are successful and others fail so you think to yourself will I be from the former or the latter if I'm part of the failing group what will my life be like how can I build a future how can I get married how can I achieve my desires and Ambitions if these worries constantly surround you and you repeatedly give into them they will eventually take root inside of you and turn into a type of depression and anxiety this is the cause this is the case when your soul is devoid of belief and Trust in Allah another example would be if you started projects in order to earn a living and this kind of work involved some risk and you start asking the same question will I be successful will I succeed will I uh be a complete failure Etc right well who will tell me the future who will tell me what is going to happen because this is so uh it's uh it's so um nerve-wracking people want to know the future that's why people go to uh these these types of what are they called um they go into that field of of superti to find out like what is the future because I can't stand this future what I can't stand the suspense you can't stand the suspense because you lack TAA right uh you lack Ean you lack trust in Allah if you trust in Allah you should be actually very relaxed that's the truth you should actually be extremely relaxed if that's the case and that is how you build a different kind of imaginary scenario based on unreal fears that fill your head and what a shaan promise he promises you fear he fears the people that he's assigned to he's assigned to people that you're supposed to make them afraid so we don't know the future but we know who owns the future we know the script writer of the future right or wrong that's the key we know who who wrote the script in the book of Destiny if I know who wrote it that I should be relaxed right even if he has to judge against me or against what I desire right at least I know I know it's that that's just going to be a temp temporary and in the long run it's going to be good and that's what Muslims do we focus on who is the author of the future and we also focus on who is the author of the present so it's not all these people doing things in the present no it's Allah making them do things so yes they're responsible legally of course for the KP of those deeds but who's the creator of them that's why it's important to know to knowe creation and kesp Allah creates and people earn and they're legally responsible for what they earn But ultimately the Creator is Allah himself and that's what gives a Muslim relief the more you think about Allah you realize everything is in his control so why do I to even the future I don't know which way it's going to go but I know the author is Allah subhana wa tala the future and if the future is in the hands of a vicious person who put it in his hands who put it in his hands when the heart is devoid of this trust in Allah that anxiety takes complete control at first the anxiety is normal even though it is painful for example when you return home and try to go to bed you'll toss and turn it's normal to toss and turn for a while without any sleep because you're thinking about something right what's the end result how's the project going to go am I going to get hired am I going accepted eventually Allah blesses you with sleep this is the normal situation for normal people who have a little bit of anxiety and that's why it's actually a Sunnah to do for 30 minutes before you sleep some calculated thear of the Prophet before they slept and they calculated to be about 30 minutes if if you sat and did th for 30 minutes in your bed before you slept before you laid down just sitting upright in your bed you'd find yourself sleeping a lot easier however the moment you wake up all the stress comes back to you and all the anxiety comes back to you now every time lasts longer and longer because you're indulging these terrible thoughts you know that sometimes it's not even just the dean that helps us with there are some people with common sense with uh people with with introspection who are not Muslims who have recognized this and realized it's all about the thoughts that I allow to to to settle in my head yeah these thoughts and the best way to get rid of bad thoughts is to utter good words to utter positive statements impacts your mind when you utter them it impacts you forget it impacts others but it impacts you and you start to to believe that things are going to be be okay this is what likewise if you're down and you just force yourself to smile you your state changes you state you change the state of everyone around you and then you benefit from yourself and from them too this is well known he says the person who constantly fears the Spectre of poverty always Embraces the dreams of riches and eagerly strives in search of wealth in this life if not for himself then for his children whom he will leave behind when this person has a soul devoid of trust and Allah and a mind lacking certainty that Allah is the one directing the entire universe he ruminates this situation with huge pains and suffers as a result Spectre of poverty hardly ever leaves him alone that's because if you think that you're going to attack poverty and you're going to attain wealth then clearly if you're a rational person you're going to have to admit I have limited powers and my opponents I have finite resources the wealth out there is finite when you look at it and my competition is many I'm competing against 10 20 guys and I'm only one guy so I'm not chances of success are very little but when you when you change your perspective and you ask and you tell yourself who who is truly in charge and what did Allah ask us he asked our body to put in the effort and our heart not to worry that's what Allah asks us your body must put in the effort and your heart must not worry promises you poverty poverty is not just in anything poverty is in every in in not sorry not just in money it's in everything Poverty of wealth poverty we talked about the midlife crisis right we talked about the midlife crisis people get and they feel that their beuty decrease saying they're they start wondering is this going to be my life forever what do you mean forever you only got like 20 more years to really live and then you're an old man after that it's not going to matter and the midlife the Muslims have a type of midlife crisis which is where all the second wife talks come into play most people it's like a joke right but like but when when you when when when you are married to someone it's not a joke anymore because it affects them so I'm telling you so many people they just joke about this and they talk about it even somebody L even ask me you wear is your wedding is halal to wear wedding room it's Hal to wear a wedding room right I I personally don't wear one I don't wear any jewelry on my wrists and hands because I lose them in woodoo and everything like that shower all this I find them it's a headache right but I don't wear one but that does and but I am married and I wouldn't even contemplate the concept you're going to just to completely flip your life upside down but you're also lived your life with with a person for this long you're going to throw that out where's your sh where where's your sensitivity to the person that you're living with it's not just about us ourselves and what he's saying in this book is that a person will get into such a depression that he starts to uh to to to be completely self-centered and worried about his own happiness right all he worried is about is his own happiness and he becomes completely insens and that's why these guys in the midlife crisis of depression they get these depression and they leave everything abandon their kids your wife lived with you 25 years and you're just going to abandon that say forget the fact that I mean love in a marriage is something that it's something that is reproduced daily what's going on is there alternate sounds or something people keep saying they hear stuff what is that that's so weird what what are there sounds coming out of the computer what's going on it's like a rainbow effect wait there's nothing here a rainbow effect in the audio no like there's nothing on our side but I just went on YouTube did you hit a a button or something there's no button we don't have anything like that like in in Road did you hit a button or I anything no that's so weird all these people are saying what is that sound that was weird so weird further back Harris is saying I'm what I'm hearing a rainbow but what do rainbow sound like what does a rainbow sound like I don't know what they're saying like it was like look look in your hand if maybe your cord is hitting something on the road uh device it's not touching anything right now maybe before but I didn't know we had that if that's true that is sh aib there was a random these are colorful buttons you see these yeah that's what I'm saying they have they have sound sound effects yeah yeah maybe I actually hit it I didn't know that like a twinkle star effect or a dream effect or something like that so weird oh that's what they're saying like a Disney fairy tale effect oh yeah you seear that oh that okay rewind it listen uh go back to hit hit the buttons and you'll you'll hear and see put put the phones on it's just so you know what's what let me try this yeah I don't want to like okay I mean put the headphones on you w hear hold up I actually don't know what yeah maybe you got to put your headphones on cuz you won't hear so weird I didn't know we had that did you like click it or something I mean like maybe I accidentally clicked it but I did not know that sh je let me try this Kenneth leech is like I thought this is a new part of the show yeah so you so accidentally hit that with your mic probably probably yeah this is a bird CHP right here we turn it off now what's this one that's that's a rainbow oh that's like a drum one okay by the way you know that you can insert any sound effect you want you can insert you can that's pretty good yeah you can insert any sound effect you want in those that's crazy I we had you just open the software and you drag whatever you want each button to be and by the way yeah see that all right that was like a little pause check out what's going on so back to the point of the midlife crisis of these guys that have these midlife crisis and usually you you don't always see it with Muslims right but they become so depressed that all they can think about is alleviating their own personal pain even if that causes a ton of people other pain and he goes and and I've saw it in New Haven I don't know if it was midlife crisis or what but Dr Jimmy Jones he told me the whole story that a whole generation of guys got this uh second wife idea in their heads they all did it and all of them their families were destroyed he said this is why the message is empty he told me the message is empty this place was buzzing with like five six seven families this is way back right in the the right after 9/11 era right they all got this in their heads and they all did it and none of those women are they they don't live like that yeah same way as we don't live like that and destroyed all those families and where is your sense s nor said it's not just always at the moment where is your sense of uh responsibility where's your sense of respect where's your sense of sensitivity in terms of he was saying this about a man wanted just to divorce his wife right and he said where's your responsibility like where is your there are other things besides your own feelings okay and and that's why marriages and love is something that has to be worked on you know we're putting up a company for this oh yeah it's something that has to be worked on the what you put into it is what you get out of it it's not something that just develops on its own what's more important what's more valuable Love or Money you have two options right now a very bad marriage and a lot of money and you can't change either one or a very good marriage and a little bit of money can I have no marriage and a lot of money you're going to take a lot of money but what are you going to do with the money then right then I'm going to pay for a divorce no so but you can't change either one most people say no life will be better if you have love in your home and enough money to live then a lot of money but misery in your home life will be so love is more important than wealth wealth takes work love also takes work it takes respect sensitivity all these things and these people when they don't put the work into it then all of a sudden that bank account of Love is empty you think that whatever you do afterwards you're just going to recreate the same problem because you don't know how to do it right it's not the person that you you have issues with it's you yourself don't know how to produce don't know how to produce love from yourself and others there are ways that you could do this so they destroyed their Community with that completely and he warned he was like of course he knows the ruling is the ruling but he was like warning severely against this it's like guys in their midlife they always talk about it and and think it's a light subject but it's not a light subject and it's not something that um people should play games with you play games with other people's lives let alone when you have children it's your your kids are involved and you completely destroy your families don't play here's a rule of thumb you don't play games and things that are extremely serious in life if you get those things down right you don't have to worry about anything else right you don't have to worry about anything else you could be very lie heart about everything else in the world if you take the certain core things and you just focus on them and get them right the first one is your IM and your a and the people you surround yourself with the second one is your family life you got make sure that family life everyone is happy in that family and one of the I can't remember where I was reading where was I where were we reading it uh were we with yya or what when he said that oh it was Imam Malik Imam mik who said I think he said the intelligent man is the one who makes himself lovable to his family I think it I think it was yodis the wedding yeah he said Imam madik said the intelligent one I believe he said the real man is the one who makes himself the most lovable person in his house who it chucka Chuck chucka or Ryan speech CH Chua at mbic right huh do you can make yourself lovable the prophet wasam said give gifts sensitivity also not bring not talking about things you know is going to hurt them not laughing at things you know is going to hurt them like often times some guys laugh about this oh I'm going to take a second wife like you're hurting somebody you may think it's funny and you say I'm not just a joke but you're it's a sensitivity right it's like a boss come and say you know what how about how about your sheh we we love sh right how about you know what get myself a new B batch of mids right what if what if what if our Sheikh said that to us like oh shoot I don't know if he's serious is he joking right like how would we like it if if aik said that to us let me get a whole batch of new mids or an employee he said that to you right like I don't know is this a joke it's to me it's not a joke right certain things to you is to others as a joke to me is not sensitivity is one way to earn a lot of love in your family generosity forgiveness and Al ultimately you got to give away a lot of time there is an article in the New York Times the curse of the new generation is the amount of success they have at their hands the curse of the new generation is that they have so many opportunities there's no room for kids and in some cases so much success there's no room for a spouse no room for marriage some people are so good at school they go on from school to medical school they're so good and they get offer all the fellowships and they get all the way up to um you know the highest levels in their field because they're so smart but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing because now those offers are almost too good to refuse but the moment you accept it you're actually refusing marriage and that's what happens and then what happens when you invest in those and you're 40 years old and you're not married are you even marriage a bull honestly you're probably your first marriage is going to be a dry run that's a disaster you're going to have to learn all the lessons right you go to age we hit age 40 you're stuck in your ways do you know how much hassle that just a baby's going to cause to you right and you may feel like I can't take my foot off the pedal I got to keep going and but the baby's going to take away a lot of your time you have to make a choice so there is uh can you pull up the New York Times article today are you registered for the New York Times Good why are you registered for New York Times you're like 20 years old why are you into New York Times are you like mature or something or what that must be it right I only read El in the New York Times okay oh he's got a list so he's very mature man right so what do you pay what do they pay now a dollar a month still or is it $2 a month they keep raising the price my that's free with his college that's good for you good for you pay wall blockers I don't know don't ask don't tell is Haram to use a pay wall blocker don't ask don't tell I'm telling you get things right in your homes in your Dean first in your Dean pick someone who's agrees with your Dean yeah I'll tell you where a Dean doesn't matter where neither of them care right where neither of them care if but if both of them care they need to be on the right opinion the same opinion otherwise in anything like if you if you're both political people you can't be opposed you care so much about certain views you have to have the same views right certain things my theory certain things in marriage have to be the same view and certain things should be opposite the same view should be in the core things right the opposite view should be in temperament like I rush and she thinks right yeah like that temperament yeah I uh uh I uh want to use intimidation she wants to use negotiation like those things you make a perfect pair and and and both and your kids also get to see the Spectrum but main views religious views whatever you care about have to be the same you got to be in agreement on this right or else you're going to have a clash um you get that your Dean right and when you guys get married you got to know what to put a ahead of your of of of marriage is only Dean that's it nothing else should be ahead of it career should not be ahead of it parents in a sense to a to an area where if if it's not taken away from someone else's rights that's their condition so for example a dad cannot say to his son um I need you to come and join me we're going on a trip oh but yeah but my kids need me here don't worry about that come or a wife a dad cannot say I need you to divorce this guy he's a bum complete bum divorce this guy or he says to the son you need to divorce this woman or the usually it's the mother tells her son get rid of this woman that there's rights for other people so you need to be with them provided that it doesn't uh aggress upon someone else's rights your job with your family with your parents is as Allah says when they reach old age with you so a man will be responsible for his mother father and in the absence of a son for his in-laws than his in-laws too what is that banging out there is that a kid playing or are they construction I think it's construction can you just take a peek out this window is it construction or I hope I don't want anyone ruin that patio that those pavers are gorgeous pavers I don't want anyone ruin that so take a look SM something also she like on this thing like you notice that a lot of people in marriages the reason it doesn't work out is cuz they don't have the same Playbook they don't have the same you need that's why you need to both be on the same page you need to have okay when we have a disagreement where do we go back to that's what you see in the modern day and age right you have like this person's operating on this framework and the husband's on a different framework so when they disagree it's like how do you solve a problem you have to have the same meaning when there is a question in life where do we go back to right the questions about life question about right and wrong like what's our resource we don't have to know the answers but we have to know the resource like this is the law book right here if when there's a dispute about right and wrong this is where we go right and then there needs there's something there's not going to be in the law book like which school are we going to go to is not going to be in the dean which specific thing are we going to do which home are we going to get which neighbors are we going to choose to to live next to all those types of things so now you need a methodology and I'm telling you the best methodology is a one of the heart which is sensitivity to the person in front of you care more about the that of others than yourself right if you always care about yourself that's the Abode of business that's the Abode of the marketplace that's the state to be in in the marketplace when I go to the marketplace I'm not going to do charity when you go put your resume out to interview at a job it's not charity to say you know what I'm going to scratch the interview you take the job no one does that right that's why the contracts in Islam are I'm coming for myself and there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing immoral about that nothing on Islamic about that is we're coming together on a deal but I'm willing to forgo most of what's mine but I'm and I'm going to give you extra that's what our taught us mahm Shabib teaches us uh in and he says right and and that's what's most important so it's not just about what is my rights you're going to get your rights but you're not going to be happy there's a big big difference between getting your rights and being happy right Allah subhana wa tala promised the Arabian Peninsula that he will fill them because of the dra of ibraim he will overflow them with resources do they have the resources or not yes are they happy or not are they successful or not they're not successful right yeah they're successful in having resources but are is it an improvement to their Dean and the umah no it's not so there's one thing about getting your rights there another thing about being happy and being happy in your home it's all about being selfless anyone who's done spiritual training right learns selflessness you'll be you'll be so happy everything will come back to you it's what Imam madx said the intelligent can someone find me that quote find that quote about IM Malik I don't even know what the Arabic is right that's a problem yeah so when it comes to these subject matters you got to be sensitive about it and you have to not what these guys do when you see them having their midlife crisis right going off and acting stupid thrown their whole life away to get a sports car and get um you know an someone half their age and it turns out you know she's going to dump them in the future anyway I think um just put just say that maybe someone's got an article on it right what do you say about those people they never fight like met two couples who say know we've been married for this amount of years and we've never fought once I only believe one of them which one of them like you talking about said the prophet and say Khadijah no no no Ahmed oh you talking about in our time I don't know they must have like um you know some kind of personality uniqueness to them you know it's what is going on back there I couldn't see construction must be the construction I didn't see any kid not be ruining those papers I'm telling you my husband gives Aiden money to his mom more than what he gives me should I be okay with that I don't like this what don't you like the amount that you get or that he gives his mom more because we know that the prophet did say when he was asked who is most worthy of my goodness he said your mother then your mother then your mother then your father so your question should not be what he gives his mom your question should be is his gift to me make me happy right forget the the mom don't compare don't compare because he has religious responsibility towards his mom we don't forget that okay all right what's the other one there is in the he says the default to have multiple wives if you're able to do justice yes that is interpretation of some but I believe it's this is more if you ask me and if I look at the around us they always talk about this through the it's not we're changing the ruling of but it's and it's also it's also just basic common sense of are you're going to do are you going to advise people to do something you don't know how to do so that's why things come to a standstill in certain things it's like Nobody Does it therefore nobody can push other people to do it right we have no reference point for this and many people ask me all the time you uh when you say this ruling oh would you let your daughter do it or would you do it I say no I wouldn't I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't let my daughter do it right and even if my daughter comes to say let's say crazy hypothetical no I'm okay with it yeah you you may think you're okay with it but we have no reference point for this I'm not going to mess that's why I said I don't mess around with the most important things in life you do them and you be very conservative in them conservative meaning the way that I've seen it work even raising kids too the best way that's why I love shik's answer the best place to live is the place you were born because you have reference points right you have a history with that whereas you go to somewhere else you it's it's all all question marks you don't know what you're getting and what you know is always safer than what you know the main things in life are your faith your family and your finances after if you get these things and you treat them right with Allah tal you'll be safe with everything else you don't have to worry about anything else after that your your IM and your AA your marriage and your household and your family and then your finances that could mess a person's life up got to have a way of earning right and you got to give it time every day I'm telling you the way of life the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam gave his sahab is very different from what we're about to read here in the New York Times where people can now go to the moon in their careers they could do so well in their careers and it's tempting it's tempting to to to live your life trying to be the most influential the most successful the most everything but there are costs to that sometimes I wish like I long back for the old days where there's no worries about having to say anything on social media or anything like that and you live a very simple life Allah protects you from many other things and this way of living makes a lot of people feel regret I I can't believe that he's doing it but I'm not that's not really in the end of the day what gives a person satisfaction happiness a lot of these people as we're going to see here they're imbalanced they're completely imbalanced their family lives are messed up their spiritual life is filled with grief was chatting with him the other day about about grief and sadness and he said it often comes with Fame that Allah tal through asbab usually through means through errors through asbab through a means brings grief to a person and he said to preserve him because the the world can get so big in his head and he's giving so much attention to it he forgot Allah and the way to bring you back is to pour bitterness into your heart this is what we call and you can never Escape it even the greatest and the of the they can and they have no mistakes they receive the comes to them without reason for no reason we may get receive because we messed up with something we fell into a uh debt we said something wrong that bothered somebody we have a problem at work problem at home so this causes Cub into a person and makes that person flee to Allah that's the real reason behind bad things happening but what about those people who are Kum their deeds are perfect their Dean is perfect their H they give to people is perfect their beh they're Oran their per their their their speech is perfect doesn't go overbound doesn't insult anybody so there's no sa to make them grief you know fall into grief or have a problem he said they get it anyway Allah pours it without a sub pours that on their hearts without a sabab to increase their return back to him so there's no escaping of these things but you have to understand the reason they have to understand the reason it's to make us turn back to him so these lifestyles are very very illusory it's an illusion let's actually see what the article says young secular po politically Progressive men women having children has become something of an afterthought liberal conventional wisdom encourages people to spend their 20s on journeys of professional personal and professional self-discovery and self-fulfillment children are treated as a bonus round something to get only after leading a long list of achievements getting a degree forging a satisfying and wellestablished career buying a house cultivating the ideal romantic partnership the standard let me tell you something I talked to a Sheikh the other day just chitchatting with one of my colleagues he said to me there was a huge program in his mid and I said how'd it go big were there I said how' it go he said honest truth is I was excited for the program how when all that stuff place was packed 2,000 people so he said to tell you the truth I didn't go right he said as I had accidentally promised my daughter I'd take her out on that Friday night and he said to tell you the truth I took her out we hung out we stayed out late we came home everyone was asleep we took out the cereal and watched TV for an extra half hour and then I we went to saw her up to sleep and I went to sleep he said we said wah that was the most satisfying Friday night I ever had and he's like speaking at a different message every night you think that every week you think that he sits in front of two 3,000 people every single Friday night if he's on his tours right you would think that's the most satisfying thing he said said by Allah lot no and he said nobody knows this is not something that's ever going to be out there the most satisfying things tend to be things that nobody knows right I'm telling you how to live uh based on these people's experience and these books and all these things that are pointing to what is the prophetic way and is far greater than the Western Way the individualistic way of climbing a mountain of your career and being up there alone yeah people came and took pictures of you and write articles about you then they leave and you stay alone and that's the problem the the standards of Readiness for family he says are at at once so high and so vague that it's hardly a surprise when people fail to reach them indeed the data suggests that people are having children later than they used to and having fewer than they'd like I actually accidentally insulted a whole crowd of people that I was talking to the other day and I said talked about the only child sometimes people have one kid some they have two kids and often times the happiness of kids is not in one and two it's in the group right it's in the group when there's three and four four is maybe the best number because you have even numbers two and two three someone may be left out are you but then I said I went off on the whole um only Childs like they're awkward they have to learn social skills they never learned how to share I went off right and I said wait a second who here his only child like half the room their so no offense to them but it is fair observations though right for progressives wanting to have children has also become a kind of ethical imperative gender equality and female empowerment demand that women's self-advancement not be sacrificed on the altar of M these are this is a satanic lie a cheat just to cheat you out from the thing that will make person the most happy it's one of those things that you hear people say but you don't really believe it until you live it yourself this is going to make you the most happy right why some people when they have a lot of big family and kids they end up not having the most success in their career I'll tell you the number one reason they don't feel the need to they don't they're not driven by demons they're not they don't feel the need to have that success anymore right and when you look at a guy like Steve Jobs because he was rejected he has such a big hole in his heart that's why he was working 24 hours a day because a huge hole in his heart when his parents gave him up like that and he doesn't know who his real dad mom and dad was right turned out his dad was a waiter at a restaurant he used to go visit all the time right imagine you discover just imagine the psychology of the trauma of a person who discovers in middle of his life the waiter that serves you the food right is your dad he said after that I didn't want to talk to my dad he gave me up so why would I want to talk to him but he did leave him bigger tips so here I think they're telling a lie to they're they are not think they're lying to people and it's a satanic trap to Shan does not want you to enjoy the nma of life life and children is also what makes you a better person CU now you are a teacher whether you like it or not you are an IM whether you like it or not in Islam you're an Imam whether you like it or not the moment you have kids you're their sheh not by your words but by your behavior how many people that I knew who uh in the dean side of things were more on the Wayward side but as soon as they got married and had kids they got to bring their kids to the Quran right right they got to bring their kids to hips and just dropping them off transforms them just dropping the kid off right hey Omar I have an idea for you Omar I have an idea the the color the navy blue there whatever color you choose put that behind the hand but put the words above the hand okay armar is becoming like a graphic designer you see you see what I mean you got do you got do yeah see if that works that'll be a cool effect yeah see he's got the he's got a list of layers yeah there you go uh it's kind of sort of kind of sort of works but you see the idea Armor's becoming a graphic designer here securing female autonomy means under no circumstances should a woman be rushed into reproductive a reproductive decision why are you preaching whether by an eager partner or a toned deaf chatter about ticking biological clocks I don't think that's chatter I think that's real biological clock ticking that's real unreserved enthusiasm for having children can come across as essentially reactionary over the past few past four years we've conducted interviews and surveys with hundreds of Young Americans about their attitudes towards having kids these and and I just advised some brothers that uh had like a 10-year plan and Mar getting after C marriage was not part of of it and I'm like who fooled you this is going to be the best thing that you do right this literally is the best thing that's going to bring you the most happiness jobs come and go all the time money is easy to make by the way anyone of you out to make money it might take you a while but I believe if you ask me that there's sort of a universal law when it comes to money if you want it and you'll do what's needed to make it within the Halal you'll get it if you go where it's at you'll get it knowledge is when you learn you realize knowledge is it's not hard to get go to the right people at the at the amount that you can read the right books put in the right time you will have knowledge in 10 years you'll be knowledgeable people will be asking you for durus right same thing with physical fitness all these things are not hard but things that involve other people are far more sensitive because you can't control other people the way you can control money you can't predict how they're going to react you can't take them for granted they're far greater of a gift than any of these other things how many fools have you seen in life um miss out on all their kids childhoods they miss out on all their children's childhoods just to make money wow what a waste what a waste forget their Dean right which they're going to regret that as they get older and they start going to the Grave that you're going to regret this is a summary of this whole article I told you he was smart amassing stuff has destroyed you and killed you okay over the past four years we've conducted interviews and surveys with hundreds of Young Americans about their attitudes towards having children these conversations Reve that the success narratives of the modern liberal life leave little room for having a family women who want kids often come to the realization belatedly at some point in their early 30s the so-called pandemic Panic years if they're lucky their partner if they have one will fall in line if they are not they face a choice of returning to the dating pool freezing their eggs single parenting or growing up uh giving up their hope of having kids of their own so Shayan wants to lead you to this desperate decade that's his goal and the colors of the colorful things that you can do in your 20s it's an illusion he that he uses to get you into deep into your 30s without this family support system that's going to make your life good and happy and better and alleviate a lot of your anxieties that happen from outside you know the outside world uh that's his goal I believe Shan's goal is to get you to be sad fear sadness that is the goal of el in this way the logic po logic of postponement that has been promoted by liberals and progressives and bolstered by overblown optimism about reproductive technology robs young people of their agency who wrote this article how many children they have and even whether they have them at all is increasing a decision made for them by cultural conventions yeah it's your your brain is manufactured to think negatively about these things because of how many things you see in Hollywood in shows where you know it's a negative right this is not and and mentioned in his speech that every single there were prophets who married and Prophets who didn't marry but the Quran does not mention any single Prophet who didn't marry even Prophet yya himself say yya did marry before he died before he was executed he was killed this is just not a recipe for unhappiness it also reflects deep confusion there is nothing inherently unprogressive about embracing the prospect of children even Simon B the philosopher who was among the first to critique reproduction and family as instruments for the oppression of women of women acknowledge that shaping the character and intellect of another human being was the most delicate and most serious undertaking of all while certain conservative visions of family life such as tread wives and Silicon Valley pronatalism no doubt have little to offer those on the left our fellow progressives need to stop thinking of having children as a conservative hobby horse and reclaim it for what it is a fundamental human concern if the left is against children won't you die out they try to take your children they try to take our children right yeah you know that Sim lady said yeah she said I don't think that women should have a choice to stay at home and raise children because if they did then too many of them would take that option she knows her own kind right knows her own kind uh you you have kids for how long are they kids only a few years right but career and job that stuff is always there it's always there but you have kids for such a limited amount of time right the family recognized the seed of customs and Traditional Values has long been Central to appeal to the appeal of conservatism any people who want to destroy right who want to destroy any people who want to destroy a people should destroy their families first because then you can control them easily it wasn't long ago that Republicans and Democrats fought over who could rightfully claim the party of family values Bill Clinton while campaigning for president against George Bush assailed the Republican party's commitment to families as little more than hypocrisy where are they he asks when there is no health care for pregnant women when too many children are born with low birth WS okay but in time the Liberals and progressives came to shy away from publicly embracing the American family as a symbol and an ideal do these people not know how humanity is structured people where do they come from right don't they come from they like the structure of it's like being against the mitochondrian right like what is the structure of humanity at large does it not come from from this so after Mr Clinton was impeached in the wake of his own family values hypocrisy and George W Bush was elected with the help of energized Evangelical voters familyfriendly rhetoric became anathema to liberals perceived as phony intrusive and toxic the notable exception was gay marriage which they're all about was legalization was one with the help of arguments that promoted the virtues of families so every June we have to Pro we have to really promote a lot of this because that's going to be our reaction let's see who wins out in 50 years the people who Embrace a way of marrying the opposite gender and having kids or those who are sicking with the same gender and dying of diseases which is the truth a lot of diseases there is one even now that someone sent me an article that soared recently a new STD that is prominent amongst gay men so who do you think is going to win out over 50 years the the group that has to uh win over converts by paying Netflix and or or getting their lobbies to pay movies to make sure that 40% of the whole operation is gay that group or the group that's going to go marry and have four kids each you all should aim to marry and have four kids each to support the um four two will just replace you one the third one if he you got to make room for accidents back in the day they used to have to make room for Wars we don't have to but you got to make room for an accident maybe something will happen to one kid maybe that kid won't reproduce right four you got covered your insurance right today the left proudly defends the sanro sank right to abortion and reproductive Justice while almost entirely Sid stepping the question of whether having children is a worthy project to begin with the Stark polarization of today's public discourse has only heightened the left's weariness of kids both private and politically if you hate kids so much why are you taking over Disney all right Disney should be totally conservative like who is your customer base are you people not aware of who is showing up to these things who shows up to Disney they should be totally conservative all their movies should be conserved if they have any brain right think about it teenagers 20-year-olds kids that go to you know like Marty gr they don't go to Disney these aren't the people who like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck like they should be a 100% conservative company because that's your customer base you'd probably win over so many people if that was your customer base if that was your your your focus on there their their business would double and triple how many you know how many moms are not going to see inside out anymore because that turned out to be all about LGBT now see you don't you don't you guys don't know these kids movies but there are some of these kids movies that um were popular amongst kids now they have sequels and third one fourth one and everything but eventually they turn gay they have to right to get to secure the investment or to secure the ability to get a reward an award or whatever but then again you're sacrificing your actual customer base this it makes no sense I heard that's the same lifestyle for the for eventually eventually yeah Progressive policy defeats uh are often met with anti-natalist grand in members of the ecological activist group birth strike founded in 2018 declared that they were protesting climate in action by refusing to have kids there's another thing too when Allah loads the way of a people he makes them love not having kids as a favor for Humanity because if they had kids they'd increase so you're doing us all a favor when you don't have kids because if you had kids Chan are he's going to be like you 90% chance people follow in the footsteps the philosophy of their parents 90% only 10% change I would say right overall liberal family chances are they have liberal kids conservative family well they have to fight against Netflix and everything else so maybe 50% but I believe it's a curse on people whom Allah does not want to to more of them he makes like the last curse he makes them not want to have kids so that the Earth will be free of the likes of you when you die whereas you know the people in this room if you have kids if you all have four four kids it's going to be much more people who fulfill your what you believe is right even if you die they'll keep it going right the following year shortly after proposing legislation for a green New Deal representative AOC broadcast progressives hesitancy to reproduce in the face of climate change to her 2.5 million Instagram followers when she said it does lead young people to have a legitimate is it okay to still have children children the Supreme Court's Do's decision which overturned the constitutional right to abortion in 2022 has also made liberals and Progressive more uneasy with the idea of starting a family a year after dos the Reproductive Rights journalist Andrea Gonzalez Ramirez wrote that she had been constantly having children in her early 30s before The Supreme Court's decision to put an end to all that I have never been sure that I desire to be a mom let alone that I desire it enough to assume the risk these days however the door is shut I choose myself so that's a common sentiment and what is going to happen to you you will be extinct you want to know what being extinct looks like my development maybe have what 100 homes 60 homes in I don't know it's a whole bunch of streets and colde acts right I think there were three ethnic first owners the homes the first owners of them were like three all the rest were whites it's probably now the opposite now probably now the opposite every single new owner in the last 10 years in this development have been Indian Pakistani Arabs they've been the owners the new buyers that's literally replacement Extinction right before your eyes huh yeah what goes up like everywhere else but that's not the reason that the whites aren't buying right they're just where are they just ask any old person from South Brunswick what was life like when you were 30 years ago when you were you know in the middle of your life don't say it was like Americans all white Americans right and then South Brunswick slowly has just become completely Daisy right Edison same thing mouin and Edison no different ask the old people there what happened right so these are the Suburban areas these are the people who own homes they own four five or three four bedroom homes that means they have kids so go to the schools I my my son just took the sat out of school at a public school that's where the testing center was I get there and it's a South Brunswick Vikings and it has um like a white person with blonde hair as the logo so I was like no they they should change it to the South Brunswick cricketers when I rolled up to drop him off where are the Vikings I see cricketers right people who playay Cricket should be the logo not a viking or change it to [Laughter] wiking how they pronounce Viking right yeah that choice is not in common in a recent study 34% of women ages 18 to 39 reported that they or someone they know had decided to get pregnant due to concerns about managing pregnancy related medical emergencies that might sound like a worry about abortion access but the study suggest that dobs intensified ambivalence about having children more generally indeed the women who said they were forgoing having children because of dobs about half lived in states where abortion rights were still protected it's just an it's a weird thing I mean You couldn't possibly get an abortion hundreds of years ago except through some weird techniques that may or may not work probably right I'm assuming it was hard so if everyone followed what you're following here we wouldn't have had Humanity population would have dipped a long time ago it's so important to study this stuff because if the prophet was said half the dean is ncah it's half the dean deserves that much attention we got to find Imam mic saying this and most intelligent of you is the one who makes himself most beloved in the house that's going to be uh by the way there's for for as much as careerism is um often times sensitivity in your home is shamed but the Hadith of it's shamed as like you're being softed what's some of the terms that they use for this um what do they call it being a s right being a simp if it's Haram if you're per permitting something Haram right being a de youth if you are permissive of what is unlawful if you are permissive of what removes your Shah or your we can say uh your your um self-respect your self-respect that we could say is you're you're is that blameworthy stuff uh thing deth there's two definitions that I've seen for the de the one who allows his wife to literally do Zena or the one who allows his w women to go out looking indecently not following the Shar outside the house I found too different can you look up the or something see what the Mia say about that do you have I have it here let me look it up for you here get the book I want to know what the malakis in specific said just out of curious osity does that includ a personen doesn't have auor no just the women of your household that you have authority over yeah is that just your wife or is that your your daughters too your sisters you don't have control over they they're that's the responsibility of their dad so daughters yeah and but they they they often have a type of thing where um I don't know they're like embarrassed to have a sense of sensitivity uh but that is what's going to make your life happy right but on on the on the if you're worried about being called a deth or being called weak or something weak is something that permitting permitting what is unlawful or permitting what is disrespectful to yourself no one said to dishonor yourself look up um deth with a with a Deb there was a poor guy came on a YouTube video the other day and said guys why are you calling me deth I'm not de youth right I'm not deth I'm like why would they call this guy deth click on the thing he got him and his newlywed wife in every single video hi we're here we're doing this and that's the thing and yeah you brought it upon yourself to call you a deth to put your H this is my wife and she just got me these nice gifts why are you broadcasting your whole personal life to firstly don't you worry about hassad that's number one number two that would that isn't that isn't right some of those guys may have a point in in in a attacking you with that it's not the way we're supposed to live one can't help noting the irony in permitting the conservative movement to alienate them from the question of whether they want to have children so are we're so slowly going to the part that conservative is for have kids be married and have kids Progressive be single which is be extinct or be good or be extinct yeah but the part is the part is in framing of the issue is flawed the question of children ultimately transcends politics and deciding whether to have children we confront a philosophical challenge is life however imperfect and however challenging however fraught with political disagreement and disaster worth living is life worth living now they're asking to be sure having children is not the only way to address this question but having children Remains the most basic and accessible way for most of us to affirm the value of our lives and that of others this is in part because becoming a parent represents one of the greatest responsibilities one human being can assume for another and is also because the perpetuation of human life is the condition of possibility for every other thing we care about committing oneself to long-term leftist causes like economic environmental racist and social justice is more than just compatible with embracing children and family life it presupposes a willingness to take personal and Collective responsibility for Next Generation raising nurturing and educating those who will decide the fates of our country and our planet surely progressives and conservatives will give a vastly different answer to those questions of what raising children ought to look like blah blah blah all right that's the end of the article I don't understand why that's essay about this saying like you can be about the environment and also kids like she's trying to she's trying to save it she's trying to trying to save it for uh for the progressives hat doesn't have definition doesn't have that because I gu it's not very it's not a term that has rulings related to it perhaps it's just a sinful state or sinful thing do look it up in any other it's not going to be a sh term like because there's no legal basis um I don't think that yeah exactly I don't think there's a hookum connected to it there's sinfulness connected to it but there's no like um uh chain reaction ofam that would for example if someone apostate is there's a chain ofam your marriage will be nullified on the spot inheritance nullified on the spot all deals with you nullified on the spot your wealth goes to the state you're going to get um for three days and then there's a punishment so there's is just like a sinful thing that you're doing but there aren't immediately uh there maybe you could say actually U it could be something that a woman could seek a separation from if he's a de with the daughter something like that right but look it up anyway I want to know if if the dominant position is that it's the man who allows his SP his wife to do his and daughters to do Zena or just going out in decently without the the the the requisite clothing to be worn bet or body to be covered I should say there's on the term yeah let's take a quick breather while you guys look it up let's go tobani GRT we support GRT as we know hey can I ask you to increase the size of that so I could read the different nations there they want to Prior they and then Bangladesh is second in terms of so in terms of need uh they mentioned Syria first and then Bangladesh after um India 130 lbs you can slaughter a cow get on their nerves for that 17th of a share is 1939 pounds Uganda Malawi Morocco India Pakistan ringia Bangladesh North razza Yemen and Syria you can go to GRT you can click what you want and pay them for your qubani to go to those places in case that for example uh you don't have a local cow a local goat a local sheep so you can do it there I'm I'm going to GRT I'm going to send the link in the chat I'm just putting up the screen right now yeah so this is the GRT website you guys know the drill so far we got bunch of nothing so you guys got to run those numbers up so this is just starting today so click and uh at least get us out of the the the the zeros and the goose eggs get us out of there so that we can get these get these gentlemen going yeah they've been requesting for a while you know for us to push this and we weren't able to last time but in before comes around you guys keep it up all keep it up for the rest of the stream uh either one of those images that you have so we can get it rolling anything so the theme here are you happy it's Faith Family finances but Omar this is a very gloomy picture that's the point that's the point all right up to you should be happy or sad um we're talking about the thumbnail as you know we he makes them on the spot here um why don't you try let's see what it looks like put some uplifting colors yellow color maybe a nice fields are you not happy are you sad up to you um my local mid instead of having a Aid Carnival is hosting a Fourth of July Carnival I emailed them with a strongly email they no response am I the jerk here how could they not maybe are they having the E carnival on the 4th of July no that would make no no sense right because it's way off now I think it's a fair question Hungry Hippo that's hungry hippo there fair question Hungry Hippo we're now on the open QA for the next half hour after we covered sources of Happiness are Iman remembrance of Allah a good family life in which you are beloved in your household in which you're you will not earn love to your with your family if you're not sensitive with them and often times our society is shaming that too and really all parameters have to look at are you permitting what's unlawful and are you humiliating yourself that's it say said don't humiliate yourself that means don't sit around a group of people and say bad things about yourself and finances is the third thing this month of June we really should actually put a lot of focus on the importance of marriage and the organization that we're starting up soon is was focused mainly on General well-being of people outside of religious theology studies but we narrowed the focus down to men and women learning how to be good husbands and wives we all make mistakes but you could still be pretty good right and married couples getting better at being married that's our response to this LGB liq stuff is to respond with not to say don't do that but do do this and don't do that because in our Dean we negate and we promote that's really what we're going to we're we're putting that organization together young guy like yourselves you you take classes you need to take classes now how to be a married man what does it mean to be a husband what does it mean to be a dad what do all this stuff mean you all know that it's more important than your jobs if you had a wife and a job and I put a gun to your head and you're going to lose one right now which one you lose L job you're going to lose your job right right wife or Job wife or Job wife or job everyone here would lose their job over their wife right how much studies do you do for your job how much stud how much Pharmacy can you possibly study is always studying what is it a seven-year program now sixe six-year prog it's a sixe program it's ba it's basically a ba and an MA right f d it's a farm D it's a six-year program and you would give it up out of heartbeat for a wife right but how much studies did you do in having a happy marriage and how to be a husband zero it's not in our culture it's not in the culture to study these things right it's not in the culture to to learn how to communicate and communication with a woman is not like communication with a man I don't care what anyone says communication with your wife is not like communication with anything else okay you need to learn this stuff needs to be taught you got the definition of the day youth I got like six classical dictionaries six classical DI abu's St Abu hanifah who this very vague so far he doesn't have any jealousy from who enters in his health all right he has no shame when it comes to his wife see but I'm trying to pinpoint it to an actions very Ary very Ary because you go to West Africa North Africa their behavior is very different than Iraq and Yemen very different Behavior shf noted that this is why he wrote he rewrote some of the yeah when he when he moved to Egypt what do they call in this dictionary says I think this type of person who is constantly putting his wife on Instagram and YouTube shorts and all these real and whatever and he's has a young attractive wife that everyone would look at for pleasure okay not to be vulgar about it but that's the truth and those call you deth you might be a de right declared you [Music] so here you have right so he we don't pray behind him and his testimony is not accepted so yeah we have to say that there's AR involved no doubt about that right and it's almost like you you you know it when you see it yeah you know these guys that's they keep that oh they keep uh they keep her on their lock screen keep who keep the wife all down up in the makeup that's not right actually anything that's on your phone you should remove your women of your family from your phone what happens if you lose your phone what happens if it's unlocked somehow someone I know there you can lock your phone but still I'm sure there's ways around that right and huh NSA NSA for sure it's actually really dangerous I've seen like you know with AI and stuff going going around there's some like women that you know have some pictures online it could just be their face and then there's some creeps online that take their face AI it and make naked pictures of these women just for fun like and it doesn't take any work right like you just go on AI it's it's not very difficult for someone to doen in scho like crazy that destroys your life especially women destroys lives insane well you know the only solution for the a picks is ramp up the technology until no pick is trustworthy ramp it all up don't make it a skill that someone has that a few people have such that most pictures are trustworthy and then the AI sneaks in no ramp the technology all up to the point that Society at large recognizes no pick is trustworthy and you don't have to ask is it AI you now have to ask is it real right what's a proof that it's real not that what's a proof that it's AI regardless of AI though I think the fact that there's a picture of some with that right even if they know it's fake that's still looking at that it's like that's crazy like what is ruling for someone who works with the government in a non-muslim country and cannot pray during working hours you have to make the effort and Allah will help you it's one of those things Allah always helps a person uh get to fulfill their obligatory prayer so in this government job do people have snacks do they smoke do they go to the bathroom do they do anything like that so Salah may take Les time than that yep Bim said should we as parents counteract all these new shaitanic West was by going fullon traditional having many kids raising our kids to be marriageable as young as possible forgoing uni for girls Etc no I would say go with the or of what the successful married couples have in your in your community don't try to do something new go with the or of what the successful married families have in your community hey is there a link for GRT did you put the link up good that's that's what I believe you should do right go with the of the scholars the righteous people the pious people how are they living and going about and you don't need to swing the pendulum all the way because it'll swing back I was talking to a friend in in uh Canada and he said the Catholics of Quebec were at a point where they had they were having nine and eight and seven kids per family believing in the Traditional Values but those kids grew up in such a loud and crazy household and didn't like to see sometimes the depressed moms at the end of their you know in the middle of Life surrounded with diapers and urine for the last 20 years and depressed sort of and physically exhausted by all these kids and physically not in shape anymore and they get depressed so the girls then went the opposite route guys and girls went the opposite route right so you don't want to swing the pendulum you just need to click it back and we have to take this stuff seriously um as serious as they take promoting their liit AQ we we should promote this and be serious about it and not take it as a laughing matter uh not telling your daughters the danger of hyperfocusing on higher education and delaying marriage is borderline criminal says Joseph n yeah you you do a lot of things but you have priorities you have priorities there are priorities your priorities your faith then your family then your finances after that increased sexual Freedom led to the decimation of the family which results in a loss of family identity and as a result you have individuals who are easily prey to movements and governments if you make Dua and someone else had a dream that happening and informs you of that happening what does that mean Allah Adam it could be a true dream that it will happen for you and Allah knows best it could be chocolate wallow says the problem is that some father s push University and career even more on daughters as a safety net just in case okay here's something that's important I think it there is some there is value to those things because an educated person if it's the right education is always going to be a better spouse and family member in the first place right it that doesn't mean there's only one way to get educated but uh the other thing I wanted to mention is a lot of guys who are asking uh for their wives to cover 50% of everything like that's an that's a bid that developed in our communities too the guys themselves are asking for that because he wants to you know I don't know get better stuff in the house and all that stuff he'll go on vacations or build a bigger home so he wants his wife to so we have to know that that's a s from her if she wants to it's not obligatory it's not an obligation the question yes SE what is the question what is it he was confused as to why there is like an issue in the community with people finding b you know he's like how's it possible with like the number of Muslims it is a good question if there's so many Muslims around why is it so hard for people to get married I think people are very picky the egos are very high I think they're like very very picky and um when you have an ability to you know order your your your your cappuccino or your your drink or your frap with five layers of choices right and they get one wrong you return the the drink right and in the past you had three choices right you could have it with milk or without milk with sugar or without sugar so four black no sugar black with sugar cream no sugar cream and sugar we had four choices that was it right hard to get it wrong but now people have like so many layers of choices what kind of milk half and half oat milk regular milk skim milk almond milk I go to coffee shops right and I don't espresso they don't know what to do ES then like before they put it in their system they'll be like just the espresso like yeah you know and then and then I'll I'll be like or I'll just order the drip coffee they'll be like do you want room for milk and I'll be like no I just want the coffee yep too many choices they can't even understand it's a foreign thing for them for some that just want the raw yeah the ra problem that represents like it's basically representative of back in the in the older times you have whatever wherever you live right in your village or whatever in your city probably going to marry some girl that you know from like childhood there's not many choices and you're not going to be picky because you don't have any choices she doesn't have many choices you don't have many choices and that eliminates all the those those questions in your head and you go and you make it make it work you become happy sometimes too many choices is no good both are both sides are picky I would assume I can't you know in that example it's like yeah you have a village but like you you knew her you know yeah that's true I think also the families if they know each other it's a lot easier an aunt suggests a nephew to a whatever that's usually how the old world used to work and in a world where um if you have neighborhood mid you might chances might be better yeah you know neighborhood mid I think also like there is an aspect of like the safety net yeah so you know what that person's about you've seen like in the in the older days you you know their family there's no hidden games or tricks yeah I think today it's like you know people can move around so quick right like someone's lot people get tricked yeah someone maybe like this person he hasn't been in this community he's came here last year right and you don't know what he's about so you got to do a lot of like exactly know if you're in a community why would you marry someone who's a a newbie some people are also scared of that as well choice and I think that's a factor it's like yeah committing to that all right here's another one he says how do I get out of slippery slope of fearing what is unseen unknown and what's to come such as Jin fear of conflict black magic fear of persecution torture and death conflict fear of conflict is an important chapter that's coming up in this book but if we fear of conflicts all of these fears you can remove them from your heart by the vi of don't forget who's in charge that's it these things are not autonomous things that can attack you there are only means by which Allah tests people so yeah is that the could you should say for that Melody says modernity plays a major role in decision of marriage among Many religious and non-religious groups what's acceptable in a society and what's not yep and what is has modernity fared have they produced beautiful nice young small villages with everyone's happy no they produce huge cities where everyone's a stranger and they become weirder Every Generation Um just talking about you know these uh modern approaches towards family and that whole the whole modern world has success in many things but how to nurture a family in a community and a neighborhood is not one of them right that's that's a fair assessment mity has done amazing things in medicine amazing things in communication amazing things in the spread of information and knowledge but one thing it hasn't done is improve people's family lives everybody goes talks about the old days when they want to talk about family nobody talks about the old days in medicine because you did good in medicine right you you talk about it like in in in the negative sense man in the old days you have to be awake when you get your teeth pulled out right today boom Novacane what is it Novacane huh lidocaine what is Novacane then in that's something else so maybe the old days like way back the medical attention was terrible right now it's great sometimes they they used to oh yeah sometimes you know the medical attention was terrible back in the day now it's great so these comment tropes that people say all the time there's a reason for it because it's true right aami that goes to the Bosnian message should I perform group thck that comes after the F with them yes do it with them no problem are we allowed to pay other people to make Haj for us while we're still alive man do an of sham video please yes in we will be can we consider a Hadith into yes we can consider them but if there is a on the same subject we go with the m the does not supply an exception to the mut is knowledge part of risk anything that you benefit is part of your risk either Halal Oram penser 7 says I've seen in the last 70 years in Chicago as well talking about the replacement right if You observe a way of living that does not in prioritize marriage and children and you've come to believe that it's corny and tacky because that's what society's made you believe and manufactured that in your head you will go extinct it's just a fact of life yeah what's your opay marriage stud temporarily is okay delay for studies yeah temporarily is okay uh yeah like what's like the agewise age wise yeah yeah mid 20s mid yeah uh go to the uh Instagram see if there's any questions there cuz someone said go to Instagram should Muslims wage economic war against the adverse West that's something for these governments to they're they're forget War they're mimicking them and running um to them and trying to do exact live exactly as they do is it okay to have a preference says Osman for a wife who does not work or is that controlling no there's nothing wrong with that controlling is different controlling has nothing to do with the working or not working controll is it's a personality trait whether she works or doesn't work uh controlling is different but if if you want to marry someone who doesn't work there many people have done that there's nothing wrong with that when should a newly married couple be looking to try for children everyone's going to be different that's in your situation for example if you're studying abroad maybe better idea when you come back let's go to those big questions there those long questions on Instagram real quick before I have to go does a son with a non-muslim mom refuses to dress the Muslim standard uh in public deth no he's not firstly you don't you don't have to uh you don't order your mom around in the first place even if she was a Muslim and Allah doesn't ask you about that what Allah asks you about is your spouse your wife and daughter so Allah will ask you about that can you give us a list of books you recommend reading English and Arabic but okay we we'll go through through books another time okay also is is it okay we read that one what is the definition of indecent we go by the Shar and even within the Shar like within the there could be something sinful but the society wouldn't deem it as indecent even the Muslims right uh let's take the some of the biggest countries Muslim countries Nigeria Indonesia um Malaysia Egypt Pakistan there is we have the rules of Islam no doubt about that and we have there is the by the Shar is even just showing your hair it's by Shar but that Society overall will not deem that indecent because there's so much of it indecent with would now become like uh in the of society be far worse than that and that's a sign of a bad yeah that's a sign of a bad right so so a person it's fathomable to say someone who is not wearing hijab but no one would describe as indecent but that's an accusation on the of on the society that we have now a lower measure than the bare minimum that Allah put for us everybody turns around and Whispers when they see a man walking with his wife in Subhan Allah in full Subhan Allah is it in the power of Allah to forgive disbelievers who rejected The Message of Islam on the day of judgment or is it impossible since Allah revealed the Quran that they will go to hell so this answer to this question is that um it is possible for Allah to forgive anybody re by by his uh uh there's no inconsistency in that however by what he's told us it is impossible he told us he told us something that he will let's say ABAB is in the Hellfire okay so by Shar because he told us this now we can say it's impossible because Allah's promises in the Quran and his explicit statements like that in the Quran will not be will not be changed if we believe them to be changed then at that point we wouldn't trust anything okay final questions what is say saying that 90% of my 90% of my family still doesn't talk to me and they don't want to see me either because I'm Muslim this has been going on for 33 years now how how should I treat them I think that you could keep sending lobs like um to test if they're willing to talk or not and be and be friends again why sometimes Sons or Daughters of righteous people go astray because your judgment of righteous is limited to what you see them doing in public and is limited to the outside so the phrase righteous let purely approach the phrase righteous here does not necessitate righteous and it does not Cate complete someone could be very righteous in himself but he doesn't know how to raise how many people they pray every Salah in the Masjid but hold on they're at every event in the Masjid but what does that mean they're not at home they're not at home so you don't know what your kids are doing at home do we need to touch need W do to touch books that contain quranic verses and the answer to that is no if it is a mus the majority of it is Quran then yes so sufan I hope I answered your question on taking yes they can be they are in a as the of a that if someone were to go against to disbelieve it he won't become a cfir and he may be a but he won't be a cfir and if that Hadith has a with what is we go with the and we just suspend the we suspend the meaning the the implication of it we don't suspend we don't deny that it's we don't deny that the prophet Salli wasallam said it but we suspend our understanding of its implication and we will make our to be what's would not supply a an exception to the m okay just wanted to clarify something people are asking about the um donations so if you go over here right here it's on the screen um it says that after you donate you can type in where you intend uh your donation where you intended intended for uh whether it's a small animal large animal what country uh stuff like like that a couple people were asking this one that's a question you said there was a couple people asking what did they ask they were just asking like how do I uh specify like uh you know like when I donate where do I put oh I don't know don't click the Donate button doesn't it give it uh yeah that's why I just mentioned it right now that once you donate it has like you can read it right here it's steps right here good click it click donate let's just see what it says I mean once you donate then it get has a comment box oh good so there you go then after that you can specify whatever you want to very good we're at 153 not bad out of 10,000 Alexander says what's your advice for me as a new revert on anti-islamic household and working at a work that doesn't recognize break time for Salah I'm struggling to make my five daily prayers this is inallah going to be your biggest struggle and Allah will help you trust me it'll take a time some time but Allah will help you and one of those things that conventional wisdom Allah always helps people pray on time if you put the effort Allah will help you but put the effort talk to the boss say listen I'm I'm not I'm going to cut for my lunch break but I'm going to need another coffee break and I need a very small space to put my rug out and say my prayers Allah will help you same in your home you go upstairs lock the door and pray things like that uh go up to what Hadith is that person asking about scroll down what is that what is the Hadith in the first place what's more Bel to me is child than freeing [Music] child that's Abu is saying so what are we worried about that for it's just okay let's read the whole Hadith here says can be in his suffering not in his sin right and in his anger and his reaction to society right that could be one this is this is so first when the prophet said the son of two people who commits the child of two people Z is the worst of them the son of the the adultery is the worst of them the first is that he was talking about a specific person right that that man that woman committed Z this is their kid he grew up he's he's actually worse than his parents that's one possible meaning for that Hadith okay [Music] so I again he emphasizes that it is specific of a specific person okay and in this he's saying that the the father is who the prophet was talking about right but the people then uh mistook it and transmitted it as the son it's the father of that boy of Zena is the worst of the three that's what the prophet meant okay specific person so here the proof of that is that when people mistakenly said the son uh of Zena is the worst of the three when the prophet had meant the father of the son of Zen is the worst of the three Omar used to correct them by saying he's the best of the three this is a great example of a Hadith that can be completely misunderstood it's all [Music] he says no what actually has been transmitted is the son of Zen is the worst of the three so he is the worst of the three in certain aspects in his birth in his lineage and how he came about to be so the nature of how he is born is the worst of the three he's not saying about his character he specifically how he was born so he says it's possible that the circumstance of your birth impact the way you live and your behavior it's possible he said it's not uh uh you're not safe from that possibly being the case so it's it can be understood to mean that because of the circumstance of your birth and that is they call it that sperm is filthy that fluid is filthy he saying that that may influence a person's behavior in the future and Allah T said about that people said about how could you have be pregnant without a husband your father was not bad and your mother was not immoral meaning the people connected good birth to good kids marriage birth through marriage good behavior therefore bad birth bad behavior uh and so Allah is mentioning it confirming that line of thinking we have created for Paradise for Hellfire many men and women uh Jin and humans and he said the child of Zena one of them created for J of course that's that's because not all of what apply to and nor can you know right nor can you know and it may be yes created for that but he changed he overrode that with his deeds this is how to do with the old days of slavery you buy a slave turns out to be son of Zen you can return [Music] him as for Omar saying he know he's the best of the [Music] three so why does IB Omar say no no don't say the son of Zena is the worst of the three he's the best of the three why because of the two have committed Zena the one he's completely innocent of that right he's innocent of it it reached from that Abu says the son of Zena is the worst of the three may Allah have mercy on Abu he heard wrong so he trans so he answered wrong theth has nothing to do with this she says there was a specific hypocrite they used that he used to harm the prophet peace be upon him so the messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam said who will take care of soand so for me okay they said oh messenger of Allah with all that he does he's the son of Zena with all that harm he does to you the prophet he's the worst he's the worst of the three the adulter the adulteress and him the fornicator the fornicator and him so again it goes back to know the prophet was speaking of a specific person okay and Allah says no one carries the sin of another person right he says because this hypocrite he used to harm the prophet peace be upon him his mom and dad entered Islam and he didn't so the prophet wasallam said he's the worst of the three right even though yes it's known that they committed Zena and they produced his boy but he is worse because otherwise what Omar said would be correct he's most innocent and they're guilty another narration froma says the son of Zena is worst of the three if he acts like his parents because his parents were born pure but they made a mistake now you're born impure and you made a mistake so you have double the issues all right so here's another story about it is that there was three there was three people a mom and a dad and or a man and a woman and the son of adultery fornication so one day the mother said to her son son you are actually not the son of the man that people think you are you're not the son of my husband here you're actually the son of another man sorry to point to you who committed fornication so he killed her and what's worse Zena or murder so for that reason the prophet said the son of Zen is worse is the worst of the three because he committed murder whereas the other ones committed what's this book from send me screenshots from here onwards yeah we can't do the because I have to run and take someone somewhere sub [Laughter] Allah Allah fore
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Channel: Safina Society
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Length: 112min 41sec (6761 seconds)
Published: Wed Jun 12 2024
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