Why dodo you still readd
the e newspaper? NoNobody doeoes that a anyre. lilike to kekeep up onon loc n . Likeke the pololice blotter. h, mosost of thehese arreses
arare Cleveleland. Anthe e arrestining officece. JOE:
Can hehelp you, , sir? CLEVELELAND:
I'm doing my maiail route,e, J. JOE:E:
Maybe e u'd bebe more cocomforte tatalking ababout
down a at the ststatio You'u're right. It is momore comfortable here. ANNOUNCECE
The polilice statati: comeme for thehe racl l profi, s. Is thahat-- is t tt you?u? OhOh. Ye. . A friendnd invitede
to this s charity y ball. A frfriend? She's 100!0! Whatat are yououp to?? Nothining.
I I enjoy heher companany. Older r women are culturured,
woworldly. I'veve got notothing
be dedefensive e about. HeHer husbanand sseded away. She apappreciates s my friends. I'm provididing compmpanionsh. Dogs arere known f f that.t. . (grunts)s) PePeter, I n need youu
to mowow the lawaw ItIt's o o of controrol. I can'n't mow ththlawn, , Loi. n oare ouout there,e, grazazing in t therassss. Where'd they go? (knocking) DONNNN
ClevCleveland? Y You okay y t? Cleveveld! Wha-Wha-a-What? What? Oh. . Yeah, yeah. I'm m fine. Mmms
a a od toioilet dreaeam abouout myeieighbor anand his l. Peter, I I don't c care
who's grgrazing.g. The e lawn looookserririble. Get t out erere and momow it. Why can'n't Chris s mow ??
He's o old enougugh. Look, I'I'm all for Chriris
mowiwing the lawn, but yoyou got totoeach h him. FiFine, I'llll dit t tomorro. r with very muscscular thihigh. "T"Thigh" ththe,
nice to o see you u l. e and d here, I amam quafified
toto be a zozookeer.r. ThAnd I'm m sure you you'ralll
wonderering how w mu I c can sq. FoFor that a answer, y you'lhahe
toto go to m my Inagagram, YourThighnesess99. Now, I'd like e to open n up
the floor fofor questitions. -Y-Yes, whatat fd dodoes the b .
-N a about thehe bird! NoNow, who w wants to o see me p
ovover this s fence from a a standining start? a a little " "igher.r."etp Lookok outelelephants!s! -(thududs)
-(elephants s trumpetiting) So, e(chuckckles) ppy
they w weNo to t t zoo?? Well, , that's the zoo.. (crickets chirpiping) Is that a didiamond-enencrust? This? OhOh, ye, , I-I've h had . NoNobody's owned onene of thoe
fofo80 yeaears! WhWhat are y you up toto? You alreready d d this. I'm not t trying
to show skepepticism.. My heaead is tooooeavy!! to L Lois, "3,3,00h pepercenti" Okay, ChChs, nowow, if youou'e
goa lelearn how w to mow a a l, the fifirst lesson is ththat
yoyou always start b by 7:00 a, befofore everyone wakekes up,
including roososters. (eine e sputteriring) What t the...? Hey, shut upup! PETER:R:
You u shut up!p! Ohrereal origiginal. NoNow, you grgrab this pull corord liko and give it a a nice harard ya. (engngine spututring)) Can I I change m my grip? (engngine sputters, ststarts) Wow,w, much bebeer. It a a more fafamiliar m moti. For the rest, , you can n just h
ththis how-t-to video on YouTu. What's g going on,n,uys?
I'm CoCorey, herere to keke your lalawn mowg
ilills to ththe next l lev. But, first, makeke sure
you subscribe e to my chchann, Coreres Worlrld. OkOkay, w w let's ststart
thatowower. Diyoyou know
Corey y got crcruited byby IS? He d disappeared, and d now thes
is guyuy doing I ISIS videde -and t they thinink it's C Cor.
-(beeps)s) AsAssala a alaikum, , guys! This is Corey,y, here toto tak
about t making a a dirty bomb withthtuff y you can f find
ininour kikitchen. Grt t Caesar's's ghost!! Chris and a chchby
little f friend? It's's like inin my eaeam! Hey there, Chrhris. You know, , I've beeeen lookig
for r a muscleley-armed d ung fa to m mow my lala. SoSorry, Mr.r. Herbert, but I don't eveven wantt
to mow this s lawn. YoYou could d bring your fried
overer there to help y you. Come o on, Herbebe.
RoRope this s calf. Would d $600 a week
change y your mind? Uh, would it?
(chuckckles) You got a d dea! I lilike to mamake a little ft
unununder there.ble. I call it Fort Dix. Diyou u hear thahat, Dad?? 'l'll pay usus $600! Uh, yeahah, did-did you not t r
ababout Fort Dix? lalaying clalassical m music Oh, , Adral,l, you've e been soo
toto me thesese past w wee, with m my husbanand gone and me a alone to o te
to his m massive e estat Yoknknow, helplping youu
ghght have b been difffficult were youou not
so utterly charmrming. (chucklili):
Oh.... Pl, , helping g you
hehelps f forget my own country's troroubles and d my struguggle to s se
our natitional f flowe the Maevevallia orchchid. (gasps))
Thatat's my favorite f flowe. And pet t charity. (gasps))Reallyly? I've devevoted my life
to raisising money to saveve . What a a coincidence. ana e coununt. u Thcoununt? Yes, o of Monte e Hall We likike to Octctober in Zuri. AhAh, yes,
the bebest placece to Octotor. ThThe secretet, wevever,
is t to October Zururich but in S Septeerer, to avovod
the e obnoouous Octobebering cr, savingng Octobereror Pararis-
Novembererg therere-- thececemberingng in Palmlm Bea
in Novovember and,d, in Dececember,
Januararying, ofof course, as a always, i iGstaadad. Dececember inin London.n. YoYou, madamame,
e e a cream-m-faced loloon. Count,t, I don't believeve
you'veve met the admiralal. WeWell, he m maye anan admira, not adadmirable.e. y Panty drop. SwSwoo CoCommercialal. (classicical musicic playing) (indnd) SoAdmiral, y you must t haveadd
quitite the mimilitary caree. YoYour honorors are impressiv. Is thahat medall
a streretcd-ouout carnivival pe? Thank k you for r notingng, Co. It meansns a lot f from a man
whwhose top p hat lookoksuspiciciously
like a aAmazonazon Echo withth a cardbdboard bririm. Why,y, wha-whaha-what
a prepeposterousus notion! -Alexa??
-No,o, don't say that!t!
-(beepeps) -W-What the e ll
are you u doing hehere ) ThThis is mymy scam.
Nobubutt out.. NoNow, whyhy would I do thatat,? These ololbags a are goingng to. SoSomee's s going toto end up
withth their m money. (s(sig)
Look, alall right,t, there's no reasoson
to s sabotage each othther. ThThere's plplenty of Newport
heiriresses fofothe boboth of . Maybybe we couould even n lp
each othther. ExExactl Two con n men like us
working g together? We'll be setet. Like a a passiveve-aressssive
alarm clcloc CLCLOCK: Uh,h, Ion't't know
if youou'vnotiticed, but t the sun's been u up
fofor, like, an hourur. No, no, no, no,,
you u don't have to geget up. Let t yo wifife do eveverythi. Ju k keep sleeeeping.
Yorere a good d husband.d. I'I'm sure she doesnsn't fantae
about yoyour contrtractor, who's alreready downwnstairs
workining on.... WeWell, I cacan't realallyigurut
what h he's rkrking on.. Oh, I knknow: your wife. Hetherere, Chrhris! And what's your r pal's nanam? I'm PePeter, sirir. YoYore bigig for youour age,
n't yaya, Petey?y? Yeahah. Doctoror says
eat t too muchch candy.. Ain't t no shameme in being chu. YoWhy, w what's ththisoy. (gasps))
Wow! H How'd you do ththat? It wasn't t a trick.k. It w was stuo yourur neck. Oh, yeahah. metitimes
I I fall aslsleeon c candy. T. The wealthieiest heireress
all o of Newporort. -The HololGraill
for r guys likikus.
-Who i is she? That's's Margareret Wowoworth
Carringtgton V S Schumacheher ChChanel Aststor Livingston
Compte d de Saint-Exuperyy MountbatatteWindndsor
ArArmani Rooooselt Von TrTrapp kekenham Heaearst Montgomeryry Rothchihild
Johnson & & Johnsonn Twillslsworth Dolce Gabbbbana
Von Zweieir Send M Montgomerery De LaRaRot Lannister Van n Buren BuButterwh
HoHow I Met t Your Mother Wrigigley Louise-Dreyfyfuss
Ludwig Morgan StStanley Dumontntamborgrghini
Forbes H Hige e Winthropop ChChanel Rememi Martinin
Fitzwilliam m Kennedyy MoMotel Six x Fairchild
Brooook Pritzkzker Davenport VoVoStolenen Monty P Python
liswororth Astonon Martinn Haveverbrook Z ZifLaududer
Hilton D DuPon Kincaid WiWinslow CoCoors
Oviatt Marlboroughgh Pembroro Huffifington
Bush M Mlon SiSinclair llenencamp Statarbucks V Vanyke
Third ird Montgomemery Marrioiott Barrirington Chadswh
Big LeLeague Chew Chesterfieield Kensisington
Booth h Bishop Lobottttom Nottitingham
isteterburger r Burgermemeisr Tudor HaHapsburg
Roefefeller Onassis. (gasps)
MyMy God. YoYou mean tan the heirrn VoSchuhumacher
Chanel A Ast Livivingstonn mpmpte de SaSaint-Exupupery
Mountbatatten Windndsor Armani Roosesevelt
Von TrapapWykenhnham Hearsrst Montntgomery R Rothchildld
Johnhnson & JoJohnson TwillslswortDoDolce Gabbbbana
Von eieiger Secondnd Montgomomery De LaRoe
Geico Vao Vanderbilt Lannister VaVan Buren n Buttereh
How I I Met Yoururotherr Wrley y Louise-D-Dreyfusss
Ludwdwig Morgagan Stanleley Dumontnt Lamborgrghini Fp Chanel Rememi Martin
Fitzwilliam m Kennedyy Motel SiSiFairirchild
Brook PrPriter D Davenportrt VoStololen Montyty Pythonn
Elswsworth Astston Martin Haverbrorook Ziff Lauder
Hiltonon DuPont Kincaid d Winslow w Coors
Oviatttt Marlbororough Pembroroke Hufuffingtonn
Bushsh Mellon n Sinclairir Mellencacamp Starbucks Vanan De
Third Montgomeryry Marriott Bararrington n Chadswh
Big g League C Chew CLongbobottom Notottihahamtn
MeMeisterbururger rgrgermeistr Tudodor Hapsburg
RoRockefelleler Onassis fortu? Exacactly. ShShe goes b by "Pip."." -Pipip? -P-Pip. Be t tryingg
to s schmooze her for r month. The ononly catch is
heher 95-yeaear-old husband is stiti hangiging on byby a tha I can't t make a m move
unl hehe dies, whh,h, hopefulully,
is any day now. If w we can chcharm her,
we'l'll be setet for lifif No moror, like a l laughing g hyena.. (l(laugh
I don't t sound dedesperate, (l(laughs)
I'm not t a ry c capable p pred. (l(laughs) M My falyly's back
at t the d w waiting f for m. (laughs) I I think t this
is the d day I s starve totoea. auaughs)
JuJust kiddiding, hahave no faf. (lauaughs)
But I'm a very i involved d un. (l(laughs) (engine sputtetering) Dad,d, shouldndn'te atattach ag
toto theowower? ThThat's toooo much work.
JuJust mow w with the blower always p pnted
towardrd Joe's l ln. Hey, will yoyou put a a bag
on that t thing? BONNNNIE: Justst pp ininto yourd
ifif y havave to. I'llll be down in a miminute. HeHey, boys.s.'ve gogot some c s
d spececial grape juice e r you. Comeme on d d get it, , Pete. eet. BuBut,r. H Herbert,,
you u alys m made the e cookis with the large pill
in the c center for me. Sorrrry, Chrisis.
HeHe jt gogot to thehem firs. I thoug Iht wawas your f favor. ("Torn B Bween T Two Loverer"
playayg) ♪ Y♪ Jusust becaususe
ththere's sosomeone elelse ♪ You were the fifirst realal l♪ I e ever had d ♪ ♪ And all the t things
I ever said ♪ ♪ I I swear t they ilill are tr♪ ♪ Foror no one else ♪ ♪ Can havave e pae part of f ♪ ♪ I g gave to y you ♪ ♪ Torn bebetween twtwloversrs♪ ♪♪ L Loving bobothf yoyou ♪ ♪ Is brbreaking all the r rule♪ ♪orn n between n two lovevers♪ ♪ Feeling l like a fofool ♪ ♪ Ling g you bothth
is b breakg g all the e rules♪ l l right,
now lelet's ckck it up a a not. ♪ Come onon, shake e your bod,
bababy, dodo that cocong♪ ♪ Youou knoyoyou can'tt
contntrol ururself anyny longe♪ (gruntnting excicitedly) There shshe is. . Briaian,ooook. (c(coughing)g) the end?d? You . I dodon't know,
bubut now's s our chance. (sighs)) hatete myself f for doining th. Is tt t a Cats P Protectivive Le
pipin on your r lapel? -W-Why, yes.s.
gaspsps) ItIt's my fafavorite charity. I loveveats. I' devevoted my y life
toto hpingng them. I likeke thipaparty. Pussieies. -C-Coc
-Cock. m sosorry, genentlemen,,
t t my husbaband is fefeelinill and stepepped
into the men's l locker roroo. Wod yoyou be so o kind
aso chcheck on h him? -Well,l, I'motot sure
if we'e'll babable to fifind h.
onon't worryry. I'I've got a a very thick, yelw
totoenail fi(b(beeps)p on my p . SENSOR:
Ew. . Ew. Ew. . Ew. Ew. Ew, , ew. Ew! STEWIE::
Got hihim. Do you t tnk he's dead?? QUQUAGRE: : Get the e hell ot
of m my face, , Brian. WNo. Quagagmire!? -T-Thas whwhat I saiaid.
-Oh.h. O sororry. I didn't, I dididn't heaear yu
'causese of the e prosthetic. Hey,y, just chchecking t tsee
if the o old man i idead.. -Oh,h, hey, guguys
-Geez, h how many y ofs
are doe doing thisis c? I' g got no chchance, hahave I
A tertrtiary chaharact l like . You momost certatainly do o t.
I don't t even thihi 're e going toto give yoyou
e e dance you reheararsed. (o(orchestrara swells) -You'r' Margaretet's husbaba?
-That's s right. Listen, , roie,,
you'u're out o of yo l leagu. YoYou think k you knowow how tog
a a woman whwho's seen a dodo o? Wait, but howw
can n you be married?? You don'n't even l livtogegeth. S" I say, " "Yes, I w was."
And thatat's it. Wellll, you'veve clearly invesd
a lolot of time into t this. And d t two o fellows s like s could d cause itit all
to fall l apart. -Who's this tromombone?
-I'm the guy whwho enjoyeyed like h hl
shoppingng for thihis ttlele r. (s(sighsLoLook, therere's pley
ofof money t to go aroround, and d I don't t know how much e
ofof this I can takeke, so I'll l ma a d deal
with youou gs. If you c can help p me
"wrap thisis up," if you you know what I meaea-
take her skydiviving, something g that migight, you u,
overwhwhelm her r derly y hear- I' splplit the e estate
th y you two.. to kill l her, get the helell . All right, I gotot to run.n.
It's'ser birirthday. ♪ Happypy bthdaday ♪ CaCarringtonon Von Schumacher♪ ♪ Chanel Astor r Livingstston
CoCote de e Saint-ExExupery..♪ I'm,m, uh, jusust gonna a ha hee
fofor a minunute ♪ Von Trapp W Wykenham m Hears♪ ♪ Monontgomery y thchilild
JoJohnson & n & hnson n ♪ ♪willllsworth D Dolce Gababba
Von Zweieiger ♪ ♪ Sececond Montntgome D De LaRe
GeGeico ndnderbilt ♪ ♪ Lannister V Van Burenen
Butterworth h ♪ ♪ How Metet Your MoMother ♪ Wririgley Lououise-Dreyeyfu ♪ Dumumont mbmborghinii
Forbeses Higbee Winthropop ♪ ♪ Chahanel Remimi Martin
Fitztzwilliam m Kennedy ♪ ♪ Motel S Six Faircrchild
Brook PrPritzk D Davenportrt♪ ♪ Von Stotolen Monty Pythonon
Ellilisworth Aston Marartin ♪ ♪ Havererbrook ZiZiff Laudee
Hiltlton DuPonont ♪ ♪ Kincaidid Winowow Coors
Oviatttt Marlborough ♪ ♪ Pembroke HuHuffingtonon
Bush Mellon n Sinclairir ♪ ♪ellencncamp Stararbucks VaVaDye
Third d Montgomemery♪ ♪ Marriotott Barrinington Chadsh
Big g League Chew ♪ ♪ Chesterfield d Kensingtgton
BoBoh Bishshop ♪ ♪ Lonongbtom m Nottinghgham
MeMeisrbururger Burgrgermeiste ♪ T Tudor Hapapsburg
Rockefefeller OnOnassis... ♪ at's a a... that's a a frelyly oiled h hin. (Herbertrt a Peteter laughghi) Petetey, let's play horsey. (Peteter gigglglin Thatat's it! It's time e you did d all the k
anand I goofof off witith . HeH. LiLike hl l it is. (Peterer and Chris gruntntin) JeJesse,s s this reaeally happp? You'rere going d down, oldlda. I n'n't the onone going g down
You'u' going down. No way.
I'm m gonna popound your ass! u're s seeming k kind of c cky,
andBoo,o, cocky!!c. Oh! (b(bh grununting) Why y are you being
suD-D-D-D-D-D-Dad?? Ye, ththis is mymy dad. (moans) WeWell, he o oft saiaid he wand
toto expdede all ovever me. He finallyly did. Sorry y I t jejealous, D Dad. Th's's all rigight, Chriris. Hey, didid -No.get a littltle
arouoused-Me, neieith.re wrestl? I amam Herbertrt! (ice c cream truck musicic play) -(kikids lghghing)
-I am HeHerber I am Herbert. I I am Herbeber. GoGood Quahohog, enining. UhUh, let's,s, uh,
let's dodo that agagain. Good e ening, , Hog-quo,o,
I'm m cker T Tom. Nopepe. Good a afteveneningnoon,n,
HogTgTomQuo o I'merTucuck. Quo Goodniningnoon, TomerTucu, I'm niningningafafrevenQnQuo,
NoNoonhog. : Newpwport's wealthiestst heire,
Margaret W Woolworthth-- holy G G,
I'm not t reading g l thatat- was s found dedeadn heher hoe
of an n aprentnt heart a atta. idid you...?.?
-No.o. Didouou? NoNo. You ththk Quagagmire di? (k(knock on n door) You, uh.h...
you guys a actually y did it. And d de it t look
like a h hea attttack. Wo I I, uh.... I didn't t think
you had it in yoyou. I... I I guess y youhougught wr. Listenen, I-knknow therere's bn
meme bad blolood betweween u but t I-I promomise,
it won't't happen again. I I hope yououan fororgive m. Well..... just wst watchouour . Well, , a deal's's a deal, so here'e's your s share
of the e estate. JuJu sign n here. -We're rich!
-We're r rich! oth h laugh) WeWe're richch, Stewieie. And no flip jokeke
can n take that away.. ntlememen,
dudue to a d dastrouous investt in a Mindy y Prectt
amusemement parkrk, Miss Woooolworth e etcetera,
didied owingng $18 mililli, for whicich yoarare now liliab. We o owe money? ok, , Stewie,,
it-i-it uld d be worsese. cou could be dedead, likeke Ma. You'u're right. Poor t thing. I guguess she just d died
of naturur causeses. . I'm fifinally ouou
from underer that crcrusng d d. I dodon'needed this ananymor. Yes, that's s right.
It was a Meg s story. ("Conga"a" by Miamami Sound Mace
playining) ♪ C Come on, , shake your bod,
babyby, do the conga ♪ ♪ I know w yocan'n't contntrl
yoyourse a any longeger ♪ ♪ Feeeel the rhrhythm of the mc
gegetting stronger ♪ ♪ Don't you fightht it
till yououe trieied it ♪ ♪ Do ththconga a beat ♪ ♪ Everybobodygathther 'rounund ♪ L Let your r body
feel the heat.t... ♪
