Family First Conference - February 26, 2021

well good morning it's j3 of the family first conference and uh we're here to take you behind the scenes i know you're saying we you know yesterday i did it with pastor ivan but it's good to have my brothers back at the desk and they're in red this morning i think they did it for me yes we did we are glad i'm i'm not getting in that we are not imagining that some of us anyway we are matching yeah i'm not matching i'm not mad but we have coleman love yeah you know he don't have that he doesn't even know what that is well i have the brother and sister in christ love christ's love okay so you got the red blood of jesus yes yes yes orange is not in the bible i'll give you that i'll give you oh i'm gonna let you have it i'm gonna let you have it covered in the blood of jesus i hope you covet this morning yes uh how y'all feeling this morning man feeling great excited you know about uh this last day it's been an amazing conference every word shop and the teaching um from apostle has been absolutely amazing so i'm i'm excited for what's going to happen on today so many practical topics again on today so feeling good feeling good yeah i mean it's gotten better can i say gooder gooder and gooder it's just every day i mean it's just been building and building and and what's been given out is so is bishop mckissick say so applicable you know so on point you cannot be a part of this and not get nuggets and tools to help your life and your marriage so i'm excited we got another day let's do it another day and make it a great day i want you to like and share this with someone matter of fact create a watch party if you know somebody sync that's single maybe they've been through a divorce you definitely want to share because our morning workshop is really about overcoming divorce and the unmarried state and this is going to be real good we've got a relationship expert we've got uh pastor ypj and so we're gonna be going to that in a little bit so make sure that you invite somebody uh share share with somebody last night was awesome apostles gonna be sharing and preaching this morning it just it you're right it keeps getting gooder and good or better and better and uh if you have not downloaded the uh are registered to get the free blueprint free amazing family then make sure i still can't believe that and i just want to say because you said we're doing life after divorce yeah and you know and you've shared your testimony and how awesome it's been and i just i think so many people think that life is over after divorce and you've set the stage and set the standard that life is not over just because somebody walks out your life right last time i checked god didn't jesus didn't walk out and i'm just saying you set the stage and not only can you go forward but you don't have to exist you can enjoy life so i think that's going to be an awesome awesome workshop today i think that's so true because one of the things you see i don't know if you've ever noticed it but like it's like they're single when you they say your status your marital status single divorce widow marriage right like why do i have to keep checking right and so there are so many times that the society wants to put this label on and it's almost like okay can i not grow beyond this do i have to live in my failure and we're not even talking about talk about that during the workshop really how do you handle the failure of divorce because it is a moment in time where you have to look at okay i didn't this i failed in this area but it doesn't mean i'm a failure that's right yeah and let's be honest it's not just society it's the church yeah the church has so demonized and stigmatized yes and then they label you and then label you to limit you yes you know and i think i i mean listen i think you all really tackling this topic today yeah says a lot and i think it's going to be liberating and a blessing to many people who struggle with it who feel like they're defined by it right and who are confined by a church that can't handle it and don't understand the love of god and then they miss the treasure in the person yeah they miss what's in the person imagine if you had just said i'm done i'm gonna go get in a corner cry and stay there right imagine all what's in you and all that you're doing what you've done for the last three years excellent right you know we would have missed out life's not over just because you got divorced life's not over because somebody walked away i always say this somebody that you know wants to walk out of your life they may not see the treasure but god sees it and other people will and so you have to make up your mind you want to keep going so today's topic is so prevalent because it's going to impact a lot of people yeah and here when you even think about singles you know there's a divorce stigma but there's also the single stigma and so instead of enjoying that state right it's like everybody's in a rat race to get to the united states yeah you're not really prepared and so you know we we talk about how the single person is supposed to care for the things of god but then it's almost like but if you're single you're not you're not good enough to to be on this platform you're not good enough to hold this position and i think that whole dynamic has to change even for the single person to say life is not over because you are walking this with you and god because you are in a single state it doesn't mean you're not whole and no right we've given that misconception sometime to people like you need to find you know a lot of times when you go to family events it's like so when you get married right when you're having kids can i just enjoy this stuff yeah you got to learn to love you you're supposed to be successfully single before you get married right you know that's all about understanding you're separate unique and whole you don't need somebody to complete you yeah you you have somebody compliment you but not complete you so you should enjoy your successful state before you get married because if i'm not successfully single i may struggle in my marriage because i'm putting expectations on you that god never intended for you to meet and then here's the other thing i don't know you know y'all know i'd be on social media this whole new thing on social media of a person calling themselves a relationship expert but they're downgrading women yeah i'm telling you you you're not worthy of a high value man you're not worthy right and then the because we haven't discovered who we are in christ yeah and who he's called us to be i'm watching women buy into this right right and degrade themselves because of what i have yeah you know like i was listening i think i was in clubhouse the other day and the girl was like well i have kids and i have this and so that that makes me lower on the totem pole i'm like wait a minute yeah i have i've successfully raised children right that doesn't devalue me that takes my value up to let you know what i'm capable of that's right but we allow people who don't have accurate information or true revelation to speak into our lives and give direction and then we wonder why our lives are in shamble because you got the wrong voice yeah and you know i it also says something about who you believe god to be if if you believe that god needs you to have a partner for you to be used it is an insult to the creativity of god absolutely that god made me a whole person i'm not a fraction right looking for the other half of me i'm a whole person and you have to learn to love you yeah before any i tell people all the time when they say i just don't like being by myself well if you don't like being with you right who do you expect no that's right exactly right how do you expect somebody to like break with you and it's really you know uh the bible talks about in whatever state i'm in there to be content it doesn't mean that i'm not striving for another state it doesn't mean i don't have a desire for another thing but i'm gonna make the best of the situation that i'm in we're all been in this pandemic how do we as pastors we had to figure out how to make the best of the situation that we're in right and that's really what life is about that's what family is about there are some times in family where you have turbulent seasons yeah times where you have taxing seasons but how do i make the best of even the turbulent seasons of life i call it bob and weave you got a bob and weave and i just want to you know i think one of the things that you demonstrate is you got to love you yeah if you love you you won't accept anything less than somebody else loving you you have to love you and bob and weave and so even with you know if you got divorced you bob and weave in the pandemic you bobbing with it's all about perspective i can try to survive or i can say i'm going to be victorious in this situation and state yeah so yeah i i i i hope some pastors watch this first session because there are so many pastors who don't know how to minister to persons who are going through or experienced divorce right they just they don't know how to counsel they don't know how to guide and so i'm praying if there are any pastors that are on right now you need to listen to this session this morning and everyone that's been in a divorce going through a divorce i really believe some people are going to be liberated this morning and fall in love with you yes right that i think life's not over it's not over i fall in love with you and understand really love is important because i've got to make sure my love walk is right with loving myself yeah because i want to make sure nothing hinders my love relationship with god absolutely and so many times we let the the the this level of love the relationship love on earth make us miss out on what that relationship love that god wants to give us because we're measuring up to other relationships so make sure you share this with somebody we've set you up for a moment make sure you share this make sure you go to newlight.org family to get your blueprint for family get your confession it's a confession in there for singles whatever state you're in there's a confession there for you and i'm gonna take you to the word shop check this out with love mcpherson and pastor ypj well hello everybody welcome to a family first conference and if you're going to talk about family you've got to talk about the changes in family and the changes in your life i am single i have been divorced and so i wanted to have a conversation for unmarried people like they say or single people uh and you may be unmarried because of divorce because of widow um i thought what better way to have a discuss a topic like this uh than to bring a relationship expert because you know you got to prepare yourself before you get into the next relationship and i think that's where some people miss it so i want to bring to the stage love mcpherson y'all know i love love y'all know i love her hey miss love mrs love i love me some dr irish y'all know dr i is why she is the one listen for everybody out there i think i'm her favorite i was i'm a very big client i don't know i'm a client it's something somewhere deeper than a client but but but there's so much love there is there's a lot of love and then of course i friend who i really we kind of walked through these last 10 years 11 years together uh we became friends kind of right at the point of when we both started going through our divorce well actually we were out of our divorces so let me clarify that before anybody start any rumors uh and so let me introduce you to my friend ypj so he can bring the male perspective pastor ybj what is up with this i have nothing to say how you doing i'm great friend i'm so glad we could make this happen and happy to uh before love starts diving into us you know um why don't you both introduce yourself i'll let love introduce yourself first and then ypj pastor ypj you can introduce yourself well i am love mcpherson relationship expert and um i have been in a relationship with my husband his birthday today shout out to his birthday uh and that's for 37 years i have two daughters and a host of other uh people that i love and call daughters and sons and all that good stuff and so just really excited about today absolutely and you are now the featured uh one of the featured marriage counselors on uh real housewives of atlanta yes absolutely i'm excited to be on that platform being able to make a difference and any any marriage that opened the the gate opens up i am there for you any relationship it doesn't have to be marriage as i say because you're there for singles as well and oh yeah we're gonna get into this in a second but pastor ypj introduce yourself well i'm pastor y pj and unlike love mcpherson who's a relationship expert i'm a relationship failure but i'm the senior pastor of faith alive ministries here in the city of south indiana i have been divorced for 10 years this year and i've learned a lot on my journey as a single pastor as a single leader especially married young without a lot of information the church does a great job on informing us to get married but not always the most efficient on how to stay married and so i've learned a lot and i just try to use my experiences to help others but i'm nervous because i feel like dr mcpherson is going to die you know every time i do something whether i brace myself because some kind of way this thing turns so uh let's get into it you know i've heard you say um ypj and you know we've had some i'm excited about this conversation because people get to see a candid conversation we're very transparent in our journeys and uh you know i say it takes two people to fail a relationship but i know some things not to do next time around if i choose to go that route and i will learn some things so even for married couples that are watching this you're gonna learn a lot just by listening to what we say i think one time i did a thing on lessons of divorce that could teach married couples because there are some things that we learned but we've all said this love you said it ypj you said it how important is you taking time to recover from a divorce and i don't like to say recover but heal from a divorce how important is that healing process and you know we just talking so whoever wants to jump in it first go for it i will say this asking that question is uh equivalent to being hit head-on in a car accident by a semi truck and saying how important is it to pause and be healed it's everything it is your future it is your productivity um your normalization of life actually requires you to pause and heal it it's not a maybe i should maybe i shouldn't it is mandatory you want to add something to that because i got a question based on what she just said you want to add pastor wifey j i think that was a phenomenal analogy and i think that we do downplay the necessity of healing because we're in such a rebound culture and we care so much about what people think we don't want the former person to think we fail so we try to rebound to show some measure of success and ultimately we end up hurting people we're trying to find healing from so i totally agree yeah absolutely i i have a question because you said pause and heal and a lot of times when we when i hear the word pause i first kind of internalize and think and realize like when i got divorced and i went through that there was no time to pause i had the kids i had the church how do you heal along the journey because we think okay if i could just pause and heal you know even you know houston has been turned upside down i'm trying to get things together there's really not a lot of time for pausing but how do you pause with everything that's going on around you and focus on yourself and your healing process for me i got divorced in 2010 um and again i had to become mom and dad there was the football practices the you know making sure the boys were good and i'm still in the middle of the disciple and then you also have the other person who's going through their journey so how do you really pause and heal and uh i think egg love how do you do that you know and let me tell you something this is not an easy thing then that is an absolute wonderful question because where you are pausing there are parts of your life you can get to pause from there are other parts of your life that you don't get to pause from the main part of your life is you pause in the area of the place you were hurt it's just like your physical body we don't have to stop our arms from moving because we hurt our leg okay but you do need to pause in relationships intimate relationships romantic relationships because you're not well to function in that area you may still be okay with them as a mother you still may have to call in other people because your leg is not working you may need somebody to come in and babysit your kids and take some load off but you but your arm still works okay so what you want to do is understand where you got hurt now let me tell you something for some people they got hurt much more deeply than others some were absolutely sucker punched by infidelity or or something that really really happened that they discovered or you know things that that you know beyond what you even know others had a lifelong time of slow death and from somebody who could have been mentally ill from somebody who could have been narcissistic from somebody who could have uh just emotionally abusive and that's not a just that is emotionally abusive physically abusive so some people have a long slow believing god hoping and a wishing then hope deferred makes the heart sick what is that discouraged so the discouragement is there the the the feeling notice the terms you all are using failure failure failure so now you have just labeled what happened in that relationship as failure that now let me tell you something two people who sit here who are highly successful highly driven who have done things in life that most of us are admiring and wish wish to achieve and to be able in one area of your life to say failed guess what you won't quickly go back there you will not go back there because you not even you don't even know what to do with failure the term failure is now believing in your vocabulary so it's kind of like well let me pause on this because i don't know about this failure thing i got to be sure that i'm sure but the problem is you have to depend on somebody else and be vulnerable to somebody else to help determine the outcomes you don't get to you get to determine in other areas of your life but you have to be vulnerable in a relationship you got to trust you got to hand somebody your heart and say please please please handle it with care this is a fragile thing somebody could just say i don't feel like dealing with your heart throw it down somebody can say oh let me use somebody i got about three hearts up in my head so i juggle all three it can be all kinds of things somebody could just walk away from your heart and you say ah i better hold on to my own heart i got this i'll pat it i'll build a fence around it i'll build walls around it i'll make sure it looks real pretty i'll put add some glitter and make sure it looks okay but i ain't gonna hand it to nobody you know she does this to me all the time she does this to me all the time no he didn't have the tissue that's the tissue i think she said so much in that and so i'm gonna i'm gonna call on my friend to help me with this questioning of her uh how we gonna go through this because you said so much in that and that's really recognizing i think that's one thing we don't do as and not just as people that have been through divorce in our single state from going from relationship to relationship we don't identify where we hurt and what kind of hurt yeah it's just they're we're so busy in our society to put a label on it oh we broke up oh you know it didn't work out oh that your divorce oh your widow but we don't stop and identify the hurt and until you can identify it then you can't really bring healing to it you go to the doctor they say tell me where it hurts tell me your pain level but it's something about when there's an emotional pain broke up in a relationship you don't want to talk about where it hurts and this is the one that's how you really thinking what's that what's that look for oh no i i i personally appreciate everything that dr mcpherson said especially concerning the reality of addressing the hurting space i had a misconception that life couldn't go on without me so my thought process was oh i have to keep going i have to keep going but i soon discovered when my body was overwhelmed with trauma and my heart couldn't take anymore my physical man stopped and they did not do it with permission it just said oh you don't want to stop so we'll stop you and i discovered something the church kept going life kept going and i realized in that moment i do need to take some time to heal me because i was dealing with ptsd and i didn't know it that yeah that put me in trauma so i'm now at a space where i can accept that there are people that are just going to have to be upset with me removing myself for some time to deal with the areas of my life that need to be healed and whole because i'm really no benefit to anybody if i'm not addressing the areas that are broken you know that's so so important and i'm gonna tell you why because the way that god created our bodies is that physical pain and emotional pain go through the same neurological path so the body does the brain does not process physical pain on one side and emotional pain it feels the same so when you are going through heartbreak you literally feel physical pain that's why people can take a tylenol study show and actually help heartbreak pain that and that's not strange to us that's why people get high that's why they abuse alcohol they use chemicals to stop physical pain and so what i'm saying to you is this when you're talking about the physical pain of relationships even when you're in let's let's go even to before you get into people say oh that's this you they they separate physical abuse from emotional abuse the truth of the matter is people they did a study and they looked at people's brains and they saw that just looking at the x did they say the x was abusive looking at the x that they had broke up and divorced from literally it triggered physical pain centers in their brain now imagine in a same house every day physical pain that you're experiencing in that relationship physical pain that you're experiencing when you all are having those interactions well imagine the stress uh um hormones and the stress of chemicals that are releasing your body stress is a silent killer imagine that over over a large period of time know that when you begin to feel that physical pain fight and flight kick in adrenaline you literally physically can you say they didn't punch me they punched you with their words you already said life and death are in the power of the tongue that's real that's real your church as you say that it ain't just for faith it is for relationships too life and death are in the power of the tongue and so therefore a emotionally abusive person can because of the way we are created can slowly take you out of here listen so you just brought up another thing and that's the triggers and it's going to tie into my next question is and because now that like for me personally jay is 18 jonathan is 18 so there's a whole new level of parenting as we get ready for him to go to college and you know there's the signing day and so there are triggers like you said they're you know you think oh i'm good and then something happens and it triggers you when are you really how do you know when you're really recovered because it's like you know you even said it earlier like i don't want to do that again let me hold my heart let me protect my heart and then you you jump out there and you try again or you you're now having to interact maybe more with the ex and then it's like okay uh yeah i didn't know i felt like that so how do you know when you really recovered is that you want me to to mention that or do you two okay i will i'll tackle that with pastor ybj you could also mention it because you had to go through your recovery process um one of the things that i will say about that is this it's one thing to be triggered that is an emotion we don't have to be led by our emotions what you want to do is say how did i respond to the trigger when you are very unhealed you react to those triggers so the trigger is just turning that ain't the bullet coming out okay what do you do once the trigger happens that is the indicator of your healing process not the fact that you feel something you understand and so the fact that that that that i still might have some kind of emotion around it you know what i do i stop and i say what do what what am i feeling and why am i feeling it you have to stop and and and hear the pain feel the pain and examine the pain don't run from the pain pain is not always bad if i step on a nail that pain is a good thing because at least i know it's there i don't have to get my foot cut off okay so i know i'll stop and say oh that something happened pull that nail out go make sure i get it treated that was a blessing if something is in my stomach and i feel something i was like what is why why am i feeling like this the first thing you start saying is did i eat something is it you know you start asking yourself those questions when you are triggered by something that happens you've got to stop and say why am i feeling sad or why am i feeling lonely today or why am i feeling anxious today why am i feeling you know whatever so you ask yourself and then how you respond to that is you know what this is something coming back to try to take me and take me out of here this is the my identity trying to change and shift out of who i really am and know who i am in christ so now you go and reinforce your identity that the divorce tried to snatch from you because satan is always after your identity you're born in the image and likeness of god he knows that the best way the very best way to steal your identity is one thing trauma because trauma distorts how you see yourself it distorts how you see others if i can if i can he operates in stealing the law of love from you love the lord thy god with all that hearts on my mind a lot of times we focus on that nope how you gonna love me who you don't see can't love your neighbor who you see every day oh okay well let me love my neighbor nope nope nope love your neighbor as you love yourself so now you gotta go back to the self-love again but if you are saying i'm a failure in the area where i am supposed to be teaching on and preaching on and all this other kind of stuff if you allow satan to say failure failure failure or you allow satan to say um you are less and less and less than or what you those child healed voices the inner critic everything coming up you got to protect your identity at every cost because he's here to take you out because if you know the love of god not i'm not worthy if you know the love of god you will be mighty into exploits yeah i want to i want to say with me i absolutely agree it was my maturity level was revealed by how i was responding to my feelings yeah it was the time if i felt a way i needed to talk to somebody but as i matured i could feel away and it didn't require me to have a download it didn't require me to say something negative or even sometimes when you feel a certain way you go to god with your frustrations like god why would you let me see that and why would you but every time you start to feel it the feeling may be the same but the reaction isn't the same and that's what you realize you're growing when you can take control over how you respond your feelings soon follow when they fade so now i got to the point where i saw my ex and it didn't affect me at all there was nothing she could do to trigger me and at that point i realized i had healed it so for me and i absolutely agree about trauma i had to do a case study on trauma because i didn't realize i was in trauma i thought trauma was something you just automatically feel all crazy and i well the truth is a lot of it is suppression that pops up at the most unopportune moments that can really really bring massive problems to your life so that absolutely ctsd ptsd all that's very very real but how you respond to your triggers is really what shows your level of maturity i totally agree absolutely that's so good and like you said you get to the place where you see or you have the experiences and you don't respond you move from reacting to responding and having a calculator respond you know i know even just recently i was like oh that would have bothered me before i'd just be like oh it's good whatever but and that's how you grow and i think what most people don't realize while we there is a category of divorce when you're single and you're dating these relationships bring in a certain level of kind of you know and i know it's a thin line when you start talking about because some people go all the way to soul ties but there is the trauma from these broken relationships that you have in your life and it could it it can not even be a sexual relationship because when you have friendships and you've given yourself to that friendship and that friendship fails there's the trauma of that relationship and it almost it's and like you said the enemy uses that trauma that's that spirit of mammon because it gets you to question god it gets so now something else becomes the influence in your life the hurt the things that have you gone through are now the influence in your life instead of you trusting god and having a confidence in god to always see you through but i think this is so important that we deal with this and as singles you really look at it and say i may not have been through a divorce but there are some relationships along my journey of singleness that have caused me to react the way i'm reacting or respond the way i'm responding so let's let's talk about this the single person i'm going to shift to this just single person not divorced not little is it okay for you to say i just don't want to be married again [Laughter] you know what let me tell you something i say this i it is absolutely 100 okay for you to say i don't want to be be married again however your motivator cannot be fear it has to be assignment it has to love you cannot operate in fear on any capacity because if you fear love or you hear me say a thousand times if satan can get you to fear love he gets you to fear god or or turner against god because god is love so whatever we do we can never allow the the association of love to be attacked in any way subconsciously or on the conscious level because that that's just we just can't operate in fear that's that's not the spirit in which you make decisions about legacy about future about destiny about generational you that's not fear is not the the basis in which you plan what god has planned for you i agree i think a lot of people refrain from engaging in relationships because of fear and then there's some people that are just selfish and they're just so selfish that they're like i'm just too selfish to be selfless to make a relationship work which if you are a selfish believer you have a character flaw because we're built on servitude everything we do is based on servitude for me as a single man one of the greatest frustrations is it seems like the more you build as a single the more difficult it is to find someone compatible to come alongside with you and value what you've done because a lot of people um that i've met they have their own personal agendas and that's that's fine they have their own misconceptions about ministry and i don't blame them for that but your your goal is i don't i don't not only want to protect my heart i want to protect what god has graced me to be able to do i have a ministry i'm responsible for amazing people this woman could be great to me and be toxic to them so it's one of those situations where i'm always concerned about god i really need something that is compatible to every aspect of who i am and that's intimidating to a degree but it goes back to what love makes pearson was saying about fear we have to grow in our trust in god trust in his word and in our patience and pursue we don't rush into ruin so we have the opportunity to get to know people and another thing i say is a single it's okay to recognize a person isn't for you you can be on a date be like you know what why should we drag this out any further you're a nice person i'm gonna have to let you be offended but i just don't see this going anywhere yes and the older i get listen i just can't yo it we go out one time and i'll be like um no so i you know i just think that i used to be so young i was so concerned about everybody felt but now i'm very concerned about my purpose my destiny and making sure that i bring someone into my space that understands not only the totality of who i am but i'm able to understand the totality of who they are reciprocate reciprocate properly that's awesome you just said a whole lot so yeah yeah so you know deep like this compatibility thing and i love that you said it from a male's perspective because it's almost like you know as women we have all these lists of what the male should be and what we want the male to be like and then we have to so we have all this list of what we want the man to be like how we want the man to be um and everything that he should be and then you you're not even compatible to the list of the man you know that's been the latest thing like the latest thing is you know uh with this whole i'm sure i'm not gonna even call his name because i'm not gonna give him that i know what you're talking about i know i know what um but you know it's like you have this list of the man but then as a woman you're not really compatible to the level of man that you've listed and i don't think you have to downgrade yourself but i think you ought to prepare yourself for the level and be clear about what you're really compatible with because i think that's the place where we miss it is that we're not really clear about who we're compatible with so i'm gonna throw that to you loving this whole compatibility thing and and i don't know who you're i may or may not know who you're talking about but but one of the areas that you probably will know who i'm talking about but when we talk about high value men okay we need to know what high value what we see as high value what pastor ypj is saying is this you may look at one thing as high value but if you don't see the godly things and the the the assignment on my life and what i have and who is depending on my ministry as high the the highest value if that is not the highest value to you you're not compatible with me and so literally you know um we have to we have to redefine what high value is in our life but we have to define it according to the word of god and then when we become that high value person to match it when we bring value to the value we need to see what is necessary because here's the thing even as women when we're talking about help meet that ain't you is so kind you is so beautiful you are so important that ain't gonna help okay and this is if you need legal help then you are you you have what it takes to to make that happen if you need medical help you're gonna go to get the doctor you're gonna get the lawyer if you need legal help this is what we're supposed to bring so if you see somebody who is a pastor who is responsible for flock and people's lives in the direction of ministry and and growth and things like that when you see that and you say i'm on the path of going in this direction because i want to make sure this is going that's fine keep going in the assignment that is of your tear however you have to be on the same going in the same direction to be of even high value to him you've got to know what is it it what is it that you actually become boned of my bone and flesh of my flesh and this is what i mean by this when bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh it literally means like an extension of me so if i was sitting here if if this was a my husband and me and our hands we just continue to extend meaning this i like to use this analogy i i talk about the when i was young i um years ago brought a heart a desktop you know the desktop with them big old fat things in the back you know but big old clunky things i was playing around on it because i first desktop i had coming from corporate america that i was on desktop all the time but i didn't i waited i was trying to get something up and i couldn't and you know what i called my friend whose husband was a in computers i said i can't get this to work he said did you put the program in oh back then was those little floppy disks they were free um put it in and voila word you know all the all the programs you can be a man and say i got the hardware got everything i need i got the hardware you can brag about your hardware but until you put in the software that's and i can say i got i got what what's wrong with these men i got the software i got all the information in me i got but you can't do nothing you'll sit on the shelf without the hardware so if you're talking about producing you got to be bone of my bone flesh of my flesh we both got to work together we cannot have an individualistic mindset we both have to be in agreement we both have to be compatible when when they brought the the woman to to adam it was like oh but look at this monkey though adam i mean he said that ain't suitable for me he didn't have no problem saying scoop the elephant gold nope you keep on keeping on that ain't that like he said i sit now and and now i don't apologize for saying you're a nice monkey but you're not suiting up suitable for me but the father we get from god we'll say i don't know it don't look like it's a lot more in the line just give me the monkey and so we're ending you end up in a relationship that's not suitable or fit for you which goes into what i always say about being equally yoked it's not necessarily do they have the label of christian it is are you going in the same direction because they used the yolk to make sure the oxen we're going in the same direction and many times we're like oh they look good oh they got this in the in their bank account oh they got this but y'all going in two totally different directions and so i agree with ypj i'm at the place now in my life like i don't have that kind of time i don't have the kind of time or the energy to waste in something that's not suitable and not compatible for me if i've got to keep explaining to you why i do what i do and there's always this competing thing of how i my why i live my life the way i live and how i live by faith you're not the right person for me in this season of my life it doesn't mean that i don't think a guy can have kids the whole kid conversation unless you're financially able for us to have nannies and all of that kids say see because i understand and now 18 i get and i'm not even done because you know it's a kids have a requirement so it's not like oh let's just have a baby no that requires a level of time that requires a love of investment for where i'm going that may not be in the unless we got a whole lot of help now we may consider it but if we you know you you're not bringing that to the table then that's not a conversation and i think as singles we would save ourselves some heartache we would save ourselves some time if we're more honest with ourselves about what's compatible so how do you come up with what's compatible with you well i know that a lot of people assume compatibility means that we are similar in every aspect but like you said it's more it speaks more to purpose and direction because what makes relationships exciting and interesting are the different nuances in areas where we are not the same but if our mindset is on development and building then we can benefit each other with our slight differences or whatever i'm most certain that you know doctor fisher and her husband are not identical in every way but they have a mindset to move forward in agreement and dr i when it comes to compatibility christianity does not guarantee compatibility so you are absolutely right paul and apollos they were both serving god and couldn't stand each other four seasons to the degree that they said you could feel the tension and they had to go two separate ways yeah this misconception of you got the holy ghost i got the holy ghost we compatible that is not true it's not true at all it speaks to common interests common goals common faith i'm not going to serve jesus and you serve shabbat it's just not going to work for us to go in that direction so i think for me right now i'm looking for a foundational compatibility and characteristic so we can have something to actually build on and if an individual is saying yeah i am going in this direction you're going in that direction it's a good start and from there we can begin to kind of decipher what's what but again for me compatibility doesn't mean we're the same in every way but it speaks to our direction and which way we're going yeah and it doesn't mean same thing i'm saying like it doesn't even mean that you all have the same profession i think many times especially in the church when it comes to our field you know if he's not a minister if he's not in the 5-4 she's not in the ministry i i mean of course you don't go get somebody who's so clueless about what you do but that doesn't necessarily equate to a relationship now i know love and i'm getting ready to wrap this up and give each one of you because we're almost at our time um our last kind of nugget but like i know miss uh mr mcpherson he'll sit in on some some some counseling sessions but that's not his thing education is his thing the next generation is his thing so it's got to stop trying to put the person that god and and how i say this but that's fitly joined for us in a box that was never created to be it yes and you know adam had already named all the animals well that wasn't he's wrong when she showed up for adam ruth had an assignment for boaz joseph had an assignment for mary so everybody else is you looking at everybody else's box saying oh if i just had that i'd be good you couldn't handle that person you couldn't handle that package you couldn't handle that suit you got to make sure you got the right person that is for you and fitly joined for you so look go ahead and this is what i'm going to say to you uh when especially singles whether you have are divorced and about to go back whether you're single and and looking this is what i'm going to say to you when you make selections um for for your your next mate you must you must you must have the mindset of god where he sees generations don't think about what you need here and now no company will ever be successful if you sit and think about what is here and now i was in my 20s when i got married but my husband's character not his money because we hadn't we just got out of college his character carried us through 37 years not his money not his car none of that stuff so what you want to do is if somebody has good character and ready to build on it because just because you're good for right then life continues to bring you stuff at every age group life continues to bring yourself you're like oh you you're at 37 years you're good no no no no no we're never good because marriage is a character building factory so what is what happens now in our old age we got i'm not old but but and as we're older as we move into that that realm what we have to do is say we're not going to be old and cranky we're not going to be old and sleeping in the separate rooms we're not going to be if they're the challenges of our 20s when we're raising kids are not the challenges of now so you have to be future minded you have to be legacy minded you got to think god sees generations he always talked in abraham isaac and jacob so as you begin to think generationally what is the assignment and and as you make choices make sure you are considerate of the assignment that god has on your life because he chose abraham because he believed he would teach his children you know i want to tell you that you don't have anything to say after that i was about to take up an offering okay we got a minute and 30 seconds left why pj give me a 30 second nugget to singles singles it is so imperative that you become familiar with who you are in totality and the only way you can maximize who you are is by developing your relationship with god first and developing my relationship with the creator the creator teaches me about me then i become confident within myself i love myself i develop myself and now i know my value now if i know my value i'm able to treat others better and i'm able to recognize that those who don't recognize my values so i'm very cautious of who i access or give access to so i would encourage every single i know many of you want to be in relationships that's normal you want to have interactions that's a good thing but you become a greater asset to others when you really know who you are and you can't really know who you are until you brought your relationship with god come on now yes that's how you my brain see yeah you had something well it was still some little ointment down up in there that you had to release yes the 32nd nugget is you all first of all make sure that and this is what i always say i like to love to end on this is is always choose love because love never fails choose love and so the the how to reach me did you say you want to know how to reach me yeah uh instagram uh love underscore mcpherson lovemcpherson.com is my website um that's where you can find me facebook love makers everywhere love mcpherson i love it love has a workplace uh course that she does like if you feel like you can't afford group counsel i mean individual therapy counseling uh do the workplace and i love the workplace because even i am i've signed up for the workplace and sometimes i can't get to it but those times and i have the access to it wait a minute and so i want you to make the investment of course we've got resources in the church i've got table for one pastor watching what are you working on now because you're always working on something uh just getting through 2021 but uh other than that no right now i'm actually i'm actually writing a book i'm finishing a book and i know everybody's been on me about it just some inspirational quotes and whatnot and i'm almost done so hopefully that will be released in 2021. yes stay with me look up pastor ypj on everything and you'll find me well this has been great thanks love for helping us with our single stay thank you such a pleasure for dropping those nuggets and telling us it's okay to say you can say it in a nice way we're not we're not really we're not compatible for each other like this is cool but you're a nice person though you're a nice person that's how you gotta end it so it stays right you're a nice person though all right we're gonna go back into the main set thank you all i trust you've enjoyed this workshop take your life to the next level you're a nice person you know you're so nice that's that is such a blow-off quote but you're a nice you're nice bishop mckissick you're a nice person you're not going to be able to be honest yes and standing your truth i think yeah yes i think you got understanding the truth yeah listen and you know you said something in there where a person has a list of what they want in a mate as far as compatibility but then they aren't coming up to the level right of that compatibility yeah you you a little raw and honestly you know i just be trying to help because you want them to have a house you want them to have you know good credit but your credit is in shambles right right you ought to present your best self you know you autumn you don't one of the things i decided to do in my single state was i wasn't gonna put off my dreams or desires or wait to experience life waiting on maybe if i'll get married again no i traveled my career you know i kept my house yeah those are things that you should strive for and i i see so many times especially with single women it's like well i'm gonna wait to get the house till i get married right right right i mean you have to have the mindset of what you want to attract the mindset of what you want to draw and not wait you not wait you need to be able to display what you bring to the table versus waiting for somebody else to bring so i think that's so good you got to love you it goes back to we're saying before you got to love you and have the mindset that you know you have value so you're looking to draw value not waiting for somebody to give you value you know what's been so amazing about this year's conference is you know you know people hear uh apostle and they hear mom they hear you preaching on faith and being in faith and so many people think being in faith means being in perfection yeah you know and i think what's been amazing about the conference this year is that you all have been so transparent and all of the word shops and dad's teaching has shown that being in faith does not mean you are in perfection right but being in faith means that the challenges of life don't get authority over you right and that you overcome them and that you learn to manage them navigate them and learn from them it it's been so transparent this year um and that's been really powerful for people yeah to get those kind of practical principles i think that transparency brings another level of application because when i see your humanism when you allow me to see it and how you navigate through that in spite of flaws and setbacks and all that and you are still then working faith it helps me to see a greater dimension of application for me because if i think that you're you know at this level and you know you're way up here then many times i think what you're sharing i have to become that but when i hear you teach it from a place of humanism and i have flaws but flaws doesn't negate faith right absolutely which is why the blueprint for an amazing family is so important there is a confession for a married state because no matter what state you're in you should be confessing god's word yes you know the bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue while the lessons are phenomenal and i want you know you need to listen to the lessons faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of god but there are confessions in here there are scriptures in here so that if you're not at the place that you want to be you can confess the word of god so that you can get to that place of loving yourself you can get to that place of understanding my children may not be what i what i you know what i desire them to be but i can confess god's word over my children i can make sure that my children are confessing it so that's why i love this is because it gives you what to say right and it's and how much is this it's free and it's absolutely great you know many times i can't afford it or i have to give up something to get that and so forth this is free right there's no excuse this is absolutely i mean how how how in the world do you turn down or not take advantage of free teaching from apostle ivy hilliard yeah just saying those words makes me sound crazy like how do you not take advantage of i like that my wife says she likes free or a good discount yes and there are eight lessons eight lessons on maximizing the family experience and we also put in there uh the apostles conversation that apostle and pastor bridget had on being a caregiver wow handling bereavement because the reality is over this last year every family i don't really know anybody that has not been affected by somebody true transitioning and you know passing away i don't know anybody i mean the numbers so we got to know how to handle that so that just because they're gone and not here on the earth it doesn't cause us to lose our joy so they share very transparent about that then we also added at the beginning of covet i did a panel with educators because as parents you've got to know how to navigate your kids through this whole new season and i'm looking forward to tonight because we did a panel on parenting but the free stuff yeah that's just so amazing yeah that is amazing free to think that this whole conference has been i mean you registered but it was free right and then you're getting all of this revelation and information for free and then you have downloads for free right there's just no excuse for your family not changing absolutely here's the thing that i like about my father and his moving forward with vision and idea and his prophetic voice it's one thing for a prophet to tell you dangers ahead right but it's another thing for the prophet to say now here is how you avoid a fatal crash yes he said in the prophetic word god said in the prophetic word that this would be a year that families are under attack right okay we've got the word but to take it this step further and say now here are the tools right yes so that you don't hit the wall head on right but you you know how to brace yourself you know how to protect yourself i'm appreciative of that because you know and you we've all experienced the people that prophesy no first of all is it a real problem right accurate right number two they tell you that but there's no application what you can do as you navigate through right yes right and that's because you know dad has a prophetic unction but he's also a teacher yes and and dad's concern and passion is teaching people how to live in faith and so he gives us the practical principles to help us walk through the prophetic utterance that he gives and that's once again how are you given something free from this voice of a general yes and you don't take advantage of that yes it's a map it's you know we look at the hilliard family we look at how they are how mom and dad are how the children are and we you know many say i want to do that i want that but then he gives you the map yeah right it would be it would be ridiculous to say i want to go to this location and not rush it in and follow the instructions right well you simply have to download this punch in the information download it and follow it where will your family be this time next year if we simply download this information and make application your life and your family is waiting to change it's just waiting on you to take action right now yeah and i love the the just the the like you said the transparency you know even pastor ypj in that last segment you know we don't want to say divorce is a failure but it is a failure it is it is an area of i didn't you know whether it's one person's fault or the other person's fault it didn't work out right and then i say this to in singles when you're dating and those relationships don't work out you've got to know how to bounce back you got to know how to not give up because there are so many times you have singles who have experienced broken relationships or families not even single husband and wives experience broken childhood yeah and they bring that into the marriage and so you're wondering why your home now in this season isn't where it should be is because you're still carrying all that badge instead of getting the tools to mend it if you would go and pay for the doctor right and you follow the prescription of the doctor right if you go you know and you you hurt yourself and you follow the instructions of the trainer right if you want to get stronger in your health you're going to get a trainer or you're going to follow exercise regimen if you want to get you know better in your health you're going to go to the doctor and follow the regimen of the doctor but why is it when it comes to the things of god right we say okay here are the resources that you need to listen to and apply to your life but yet well i think that's too much yeah right right i don't want to do that right yes right no no it just shows you need to get it you need to get it you don't have any questions for the doctor but you got all the questions for the man or woman of god right you take all the medicines they give you don't even know what's in it but you take it but then you got questions for the man or woman of god take this medicine for free yeah and it will change your life it really comes down to what do you want to do you know when you want to do something you make it happen right when you don't want to do it you come up with excuses and you put the blame or deflect on other people there's no excuse we all have issues everybody has issues in their marriage but there's a way out and that's what's so awesome this whole week has been talking about the way out of where you are so we're getting ready to hear from him right right but what are you looking forward to today i know we've talked about uh the first day was on the consecration then we had collaboration what's your what are you looking forward well listen i know y'all gotta uh he gave y'all a tip but let's leave something for the man of god cause y'all both bishops and the lord i wanna know what you don't don't give his message but what are you looking forward to well you know what he's gonna deal with today on offense i'm looking forward to that because i i get offended easily tell the people yeah what i do i get offended easily tell the people you know and and tell the people and my glossolalia has various lords have various layers they gotta get what your what my glossolalia my tongues oh yeah it does is anything with flossing all the way so i'm using that one i want you know i'm glad you were able to say that though like we've been friends for years and actually we met prior to even new light we telling that story no we're not telling the story oh i'm being left out on this one okay no i'm coming back i'm coming over okay but we've had some in our just our friendship we have had seasons where well you offended me that's why we're best friends but we've worked through that because if you stay stuck in a fence you'll miss out yes on the long-term benefits of that relationship right so that that's all i wanted to say we've navigated our offense because you've offended me sometimes i never offended oh my god oh lord bishop real quick because we gotta give it to the man of god what are you looking for i'm looking forward to the truth setting us free today but no it's gonna be this thing on a fence is i'm looking forward to it because i got rebuked last night on the set so i'm offended so i need to go sit at his feet and get you know i need to get healed of the liver it's not like we gotta take some issues to the altar i don't know what's going on but what i do know that's about to happen is our apostle has a word for you y'all get this number up share this with everybody this is a lesson that no matter what type of relationship you're in even in the work environment you need to hear this lesson awesome i give you our apostle for our morning teaching moment hallelujah hallelujah this is the day the lord's made i will rejoice and be glad in it i tell you we've had an uh an awesome morning and then for that dialogue on the set is just something but this morning we've had an awful awesome dialogue and the whole dialogue there on recovering from divorce i think is much needed in the body of christ and the transparency of pastor ypj and dr i i think it's going to be helpful you need to share that with others simply because others you need to hear that perspective it's a faith perspective and i know it will be a blessing to you amen and amen now for our morning teaching of course let me just encourage you again to get your blueprint uh you know the blueprint uh has all of the information in it that's going to help you build your amazing family and uh faith comes by hearing hearing by the word of god and we're going to give you these downloads you'll get them right away and you can go to work right away uh building your house your family as it were on the word of god all right i'm going to pray and then we're going to get into the lesson today i heard their comments about offense and all of that sort of thing but let's see let's see what the lord has to say to us today father in jesus name thank you for this time together around your word i believe the people have ears to hear hearts to believe and receive and our lives will be transformed by the word and father in the name of jesus since you know his name by name situation by situation is with great confidence we believe you will tailor this word for every situation that is our prayer so in advance we give you along the praise the glory honor and adoration for all that shall be accomplished all that shall be revealed in jesus name amen and amen now listen um we've been teaching on investing in building family investing and building family you've heard about the prophetic word and that sort of thing that the lord gave me and along with the prophetic word he said to me that teach the people how to make the investment in family now what i need you to do is make an investment in others by sharing this right now if you'll share this right now i guarantee that this these next 40 minutes will be life-changing our foundational text comes from luke chapter 6. whosoever cometh to me and heareth my sayings and do it them i will show you unto whom he's like remember it says i got to hear and do hear and do all right he's like a man which built his house house metaphor for family he's like a man who built his house and dig deep that's the key that's what you're doing today that's what we've been doing all week digging deep all right and laid the foundation to form a rock rock symbolic of the word of god and when the road when the flood arose and the stream beat vehemently upon that house uh watch this it could not shake it and and could not shake it why because it was founded upon a rock so when you build your life your family on the solid rock of god's word i'm going to tell you that it will not nothing will be able to shake trouble may come and it will come but it will not be able to shake you our first lesson was on the consecration joshua told the people get ready for a journey and that was our lesson on wednesday night and then yesterday morning we began to deal with the collaboration appreciating the agreement factor appreciating the agreement factor when through consecration i make a decision that god has set me apart to be a catalyst in my family and my family will get the overflow of my relationship with him now i'm on the road to developing a consistent character now then the collaboration when i understand the power of agreement when i understand the power of agreement now i understand it's worth me dropping my rocks it is worth me doing whatever i need to do so that i can have this agreement factor working in my life on last night we dealt with communication and that is the discussion with the intent to agree so that we can stay on focus with this uh building my family and building my relationships in a solid way so that nothing can shake them i close that out we're talking about the story of the compass i've shared that so many times the essence of that story was that you must always trust the word of god and that's my introduction today because today we are going to talk about offense i'm calling it the confrontation but the confrontation watch this is not necessarily you confronting others but you confronting yourself look at this passage there in in psalms 119 165 great peace have they which love thy law law meaning thy word watch this and nothing shall offend them oh i love that i love that that's so powerful it says now i can live at a level where nothing ever offends me oh jesus watch this i can live at a level that people's foolishness will not offend me i can live at a level where people's malice will not offend me watch this and i will be able to hold on not just to peace but great peace put that scripture back up there i need to talk about this great peace have they which love thy law and could end the word of god remember we see the word law here we're not necessarily talking about the law of moses but here again it's a metaphorical for the word of god and nothing as a result of this word of god that i love that i embrace that i trust in i can live a life where absolutely nothing will offend me let's get to talking about this because god taught me this lesson y'all know what i got to do god taught me this lesson years ago when i'm in the little raggedy run down building i'm at a very dispressed part of my life i had just come out of a church fight and my heart is all messed up i am totally offended i'm offended with people i'm offended at god i'm telling you it's i'm in a messed up situation here and god comes to me and he says to me he says i got great plans for you son i have great plans for you but i cannot use you with your heart like it is and that is because i was full of offense full of hatred yeah i hate going in judgment i was full of unforgiveness and god says now in order for me to get you where i need you to go i got to get you got to deal with this i'm talking to somebody in order to go where god wants you to go you got to deal with the offense factor in your life and that's what we're going to confront we're not talking now about confronting others we're talking about you confronted areas confronting areas in your life where you are holding on to offense amen and amen all right so god taught me some things i'll be referring back uh to the little raggedy building god told me i'm gonna teach you how to live by faith taught me uh that he said i'm going to teach you how to trust me and i did not know that one of the important lessons in this whole dynamic was this lesson on offense now let's talk let's see let's name let's let's define offend offended the state of resentment and negative response after accepting a perceived intentional or unintentional violation of one's persons that is believed to have had the goal of causing pain harm and disrespect short order is listen i'm in a state of offense i'm i'm always i'm responding negative i'm uh i'm i'm resentful because i believe you were trying to hurt me i believe you did this uh you know you've been you may it may have been unintentional on your part but i believe you trying to i believe you're trying to hurt me i believe you're trying to cause me pain you may have even caused me pain and that is why i'm in this place of offender number one number one i want to understand the dynamics of the attack of offense of of uh of offense i want to understand the dynamics of this attack matthew chapter 18. matthew chapter 8 says but whosoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me it were better for him that a male stone were hanged about his neck and that he would drown in the depth of the sea oh my god watch this woe unto the world because of offenses for it must needs be that offenses come so we we're not going to be able to avoid them but woe unto the man by whom the offense cometh so it's crystal clear crystal clear that jesus addressed this matter of offense he addressed this matter of offense because really it's inescapable and so since i cannot escape the offense attack here in the earth i gotta know how to deal with it and then he says listen don't you be one who uh who who is in that offended category or be the perpetrator of offense so let's look at the diversities of offenses let's look at the many diversities of the fence number one that an offense can take place because of mistakes against us in other words we feel something was done directly against us all right this offense was taken when the prodigal son there uh prodigal son's brother prodigal son's brother uh he got offended because the daddy accepted the boy back yeah and the daddy accepted the boy back through him a party and he said i've been here all this time and you never threw me a party he took offense it was he felt that that was a blatant disrespect of his long-term commitment boy that's so easy it's so easy for people to take offense after they have believed they have been overlooked number two is the malice offense the malice against us and that is when uh it is unmistakable that they're trying to hurt you unmistakable that the person is trying to do you harm you know now stephen didn't have to wonder whether or not they met malice when they were throwing rocks at him it was blatant and there are many times there is a blatant attack of against your person against you physically many times all right that you understand uh it can't be it could be a cause of being offended all right let's look at the third one here is misguided expectation of others now this one is i like to call this the ricochet ricochet offense now what do you mean it's because really the person took offense and they weren't even involved in it i think of absalom and how absalom took offense at his father david yes he did he resented david because uh eminem raked and raped his sister and uh he thought surely he thought surely dad's gonna do something about this but he didn't and as a result of that he built up this offense against his father and many times people misread situations and when they as a result of misreading situations then they take on offense how could you do that to him how did you do thus and so and boy how many times have we seen that in family because you don't have all the facts and how many times have we seen that in church you don't have all the facts something didn't go down like you thought it should have went down i should have gone down and as a result of that you took offense you know especially in the church said it oh my god church family city and a personal may have been uh terminated from the staff you know uh uh and that perk well what if i they've been there 20 years well you don't understand what happened they stole a hundred thousand dollars you understand but but the church didn't get up and tell everybody that but because you didn't have all the facts then you took offense it was ricochet i call that ricochet all right watch this now here's the he and the scripture teaches uh uh uh another situation of being offended like that that was john the baptist and it came to pass when jesus had made an end of commanding his twelve disciples he departed thence to teach and to preach in their cities watch this now now when john had heard in prison the works of christ he sent two of his disciples and said unto him art thou he that should come or do we look for another jesus answered and said unto them go and show john again those things which ye do hear and see the blind received their sight and the lame walk and the lepers are cleansed and the death here and the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached unto them and blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in me holy right there because jesus is saying watch this john why are you asking these questions why did you send your disciples here to disrupt my meeting i'm telling you in the midst of his meeting john's disciples as it were raised his hand and says john wants to know now john's in prison john wants to know are you the one or should we be looking for another what he's trying to do he's trying to discredit jesus yeah he's trying to discredit his cousin oh this is a family matter too oh yeah and that's what's going on you follow me and jesus says now wait a minute oh let's think about it let's look back wasn't john the one that baptized him wasn't john the one that heard the voice from heaven this is my beloved son in whom i'm well pleased hear ye him i mean i mean wasn't this the one that wasn't john john was there why is he asking this question john is offended why he's in prison and jesus has not come to see him he's in prison and watch this some of his disciples have left him and now are disciples of jesus john couldn't take it he's offended and in that offense moment he strikes out at his cousin you never look that like i know i know he didn't look at that he strikes out at his cousin and and jesus says hey don don't be offended don't be offended in me now the next verse is down i want you to see what jesus says he says verily i say unto you among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than john the baptist notwithstanding that he is least in the kingdom of heaven that he he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he wow now jesus had the opportunity watch this to strike back at his cousin he had an opportunity to strike back at john but he did so what does he do in the place of being offended he applauds john he applauds john he said i'm telling y'all listen in other words and it was instead of throwing light on this this intended you know uh resentment and rebuke what jesus does is he says ain't nobody like john i tell you john he's not he's not trying to change history he's not trying to throw now that's what we want to be we want to be at the place that when we are attacked that we don't we don't take it as a resentment we don't take it and try to strike back at others but we take it watch this and we turn it and we don't change history because we don't forget the past because of a momentary offense moment amen all right all right now let's look at the fourth one the fourth uh offense it's offense against others uh this is offense against others and that is you know uh peter attacks the soldier soldier wouldn't arrest in him he's resting jesus but peter attacked him and many times we can get we uh because of what's happening in another person's life we take on that offense and then that's the most offense of what i call mistaken potential against others and that's paul's uh paul uh you know he was he defended the the uh the gentiles why he took offense as it were because of how they were treated now the target of an offense i need somebody to document this and it's a the target of an offense is your peace because your peace holds everything together and that is what is overlooked what is overlooked the whole resentment crowd and vindictive cloud what what it it what is missed in it is that the enemy is attempting to steal your peace that's what's at stake that's why when we go back to our original text it says great peace have those who love thy law who can trust the word got it and nothing shall offend them so what's at stake is my peace and i got to understand that because i've got to properly focus on this because now let's talk about the devastation of offense number one it's devastating because it can block revelation you can block revelation see once i get a fan i see this all time when a person gets offended at their leader offended at their pastor then they don't hear anything they say they get offended at their uh a child gets offended at their at their uh at their parents on here nothing they have to say so there's this blockage that comes when a person takes on offense so it blocks you getting revelation understanding guidance and wisdom from them and it'll even pull you out your set place it is that thing that causes flight whether it's flight from your church whether it's flight from your organization whether it's flight from your family i got to tell you that that's the that's the thing that you you shut off these people many times they have given you wisdom to have to have you where you are uh but at the moment of offense i mean it blocks your the ability to receive from them number two it is the devastation of broken relationship devastation a broken relationship and at that moment you don't mind abandoning the relationship you forget all of the good and all you can highlight is the bad i'm amazed at how when people get offended that they'll try to rewrite history and i'll just keep moving on that one amen and amen all right now there is the devastation of what i call breached resolve now what do you mean all right they're still in the relationship they offended but they're not giving a hundred percent anymore they're not giving not giving 100 in this marriage i don't know if it's going to stay if it's if we're going to last i'm not giving 100 in my church because you know they didn't call my name they called everybody else's name so you got a friend that you understand no no no no no no you know they didn't they they didn't come to my my husband's funeral i know i know i can't i can't deal with that you're offended you got it and what's at stake now is you have now opened the door for your peace to be robbed amen and amen all right and so there is no longer the caring effort that has to be there so your resolve has been breached all right all right number four number four is the devastation of blindness to reason what do you mean and that is when you get irritated like this watch this then you become irrational you become irrational and you'll make i'll say it like this you make stupid mistakes stupid mistakes you offended so now you're going to go get high you're offended you're going you're offended so you're going to go get high you're offended so now you're going to break the law you're gonna do something dumb got it because that's what happens and like i said you know being offended a person said that i and it was you know i can't take credit for what i heard so i don't know who else who said that i would give him credit if i knew it it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die and so i've seen this so many times that people go on binges got it because they're offended and they think they're gonna hurt the other person you're not hurting anybody but yourself and that's where i was in a little raggedy building i'm full of offense i'm full of hate man those other going on with their lives and here i am i'm locked down you follow me i'm locked up my whole life is locked down who am i talking to today my whole life has been locked down because i've been offended they hurt me they shouldn't have done me like that all right now so now let's understand the discipline against offenses the discipline against offenses oh i love this y'all know when i use my word discipline come on put one word this when i'm worth discipline that means what come on now come on class enforced obedience discipline means i don't i mean i feel like doing it but i'm going to do it discipline means watch this that you know i am going to for i'm going to press forward to do it because it's going to require this a deliberate effort all right so let's understand this discipline that i have to have i want to look for us at the profiles of the savior's management of of offense moments what yes because remember he is the mold from which we uh form a perfect life he's the blueprint for how to live he was the scripture says in all points tempted like we are yet without sense i got to look at jesus how did he manage moments of when he when he could have been offended i got to look at that because i can learn from that we already saw the one with john the baptist but let's look at that it says here's here's a statement now since jesus is the mole from which we shape a perfect life and he was in all points tempted like we are ah uh let's examine his life to see if he had potential offensive moments yes he did his hometown folk the hometown folk he could have been offended with them as in matthew chapter 13 you go look it up yourself john the baptist was on the list that he could have took offense with him his family and friends he could have took offense with them and especially his friends you know uh the bible says his friends you know they turned on him one day and said that boy's out of his mind where the scripture says he's besides himself he started they said that dude is crazy i mean really uh the religious leaders he could've been offended at them they were always trying to tap uh uh uh uh attack him his own staff you know his own staff this bible says he knew they were offended at some things he was teaching them and then you know the bible says and they all forsook him jesus had multiple opportunities to be offended amen so living in this life does not mean that i'm going to live by faith and i will never have the opportunity to be offended but scripture tells me if i love the law if i will embrace his word i can go through these moments of potential offense and not be offended i can do it i can do it we're going to show you how in just a moment so now there's the exhortation to the saints uh uh about offense moments so the bible the bible is not silent on this let's walk through some of the scripture because remember it's based on the word of god let's dig down deep come on i know you're hurting i know you're but let's dig down deep and let's find out what the word of god says and like that pilot like that captain told me when i was learning to pilot my boat let's trust the compass on this if you will be able to do that then you will be able to live beyond offenses it's so good to live beyond offenses so good god taught me how to do it nothing shall offend them what do you mean nothing i thought you said the other day you got angry at so and so i did but i got out of it because i trust the law i trust the word i don't harbor it i have the opportunity but i just pass it by i'm telling you i understand it's not the will of god for me to live being offended and oh yeah i go through situations where i could be offended where i could change the history i ain't doing it not doing it because i've choose to i've chosen to live beyond offensive and i keep my peace i can you know what i got to say if you've been around me any time up close you hear me saying i ain't mad with nobody i am not angry with nobody i just have such peace in my life i'm going to talk to you about that and just a little let's keep walking through this more if thy brother shall trespass against thee go to him tell him his faults between thee and him along if he shall hit thee thou hast gained thy brother all right but if you will not hear thee then take with thee one or two more that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established and if you shall not if he shall neglect to hear them tell it to the church but if he neglect to hear the church then let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a republican what is jesus saying here he said at all possible try to work through it that's all possible try to work through it now i i can't break that whole thing down but in essence he's saying listen try to work through it if at all possible if it means bringing somebody else on to help work through it i've had to do that and sometimes i know a person got offended it wasn't i mean i had i wasn't intending to do anything to hurt them but and i knew somebody who knew both of us now hey call hey listen uh hey can you can you do something to help us mend this or just pray for us on this now to the degree it all depends on what the degree is uh but what jesus is saying now he's saying try to work through it let's look at another passage another passage a high-tempered man stirs up strife but he will slow the anger of peace's contention so it says now if i can control my temper now and control my temperament i won't be so easily to fall into offense all right now see some of you all uh uh and i'm i'm i'm transparent on this some of y'all are like me got this suspicious nature i got a suspicious nature and so my okay how you know you're supposed to cause when you lose something you think somebody took it all right and i got you they got you when you lose something the first thing you think is somebody took it you ready to blame somebody okay i'm just i'm just i'm just okay i ain't judging you that's not you don't worry about it but if that is you that first thing well that's me so i have to i have to have to deal with that part of me that's part of my my nature i got to deal with that so i have to i have to shut that thing down right away because i'm about to get offended at somebody and i don't know who they are but i'm really about to get offended well that's how that's a hot nature so i i i'm hot tempered at that so over the time of years i'm not as hot tempered as i was at in at one time so i'm just telling you it's something you have to work at so what is jesus teaching what is a uh uh uh uh proverbs teaching is teaching you not to be high-tempered don't be a contentious person now let's look at what uh uh what uh uh jesus teaches in luke chapter 17 and verse one then he said to his disciples it is impossible you see this word it is impossible but that offenses will come but woe unto him through whom they come it's impossible to live without the opportunity of being offended yeah it's impossible but you don't need to be the one who causes the offense and i want you to look at this all right watch this look at verse four it says all right well i i i'll go on go go back to verse two let's read it out let's read them it would better for him that a male stone be hanged about his neck and he'd be cast to the sea then in that uh that then that he should offend one of these little ones that's how personally jesus takes this offense take heed to yourself if thy brother trespass against thee rebuke him and if he repent forgive him and if he trespasses against the what seven times of the day and seven times in a day turn again to thee saying i repent thou shalt forgive him wow now you can understand why the disciples asked the question they said the disciples responded lord increase our faith that's a hard one there now let me say this now he's not telling you you got to trust everybody you forgive i want to throw that in there as we move in he didn't say that you got to trust everybody that you forgive but you got to forgive everybody who offends you if they reque i mean you got to do that you're not doing it for their benefit you're doing it for your own benefit and we'll see that a little later now let's look at the apostles teaching on this whole matter of forgiving trespasses in colossians uh chapter 3 colossians chapter 3. put on therefore as the elective god holy and beloved bowels of mercies kindness humbleness of mind meekness long suffering forbearing one another all forgiving one another if any man have have a quarrel against thee even as christ forgave you oh so also do ye so what's the bible telling us it is it's telling us to be forgiving people and if i'm adapting that and adopting that to my heart then when people get out of line no matter how the offense comes i'm willing to forgive then in ephesians it tells me damn it says i love this inefficiency uh he says let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good and used to the edifying and that it may minister grace unto the hero all right and grieve not the holy spirit of god whereby you're sealed until the day of redemption let all building this wrath anger clamor evil speaking be put away from you with all malice isn't that amazing and be ye kind one to another forgiving one another even as god for christ's sake hath forgiven you so we have this mandate to be a forgiving people a mandate for being a forgiving people i'm going to talk to you about that i just need you to hold on with me now hold on with me now now here's my next point that peace we got to understand that pete the peace that sacrificed through the mismanagement of offense i told you about that earlier when we looked at the beginning uh and here i am now i'm going back to the regular building i have sacrificed peace because my mind i mean i could close my eyes and i could see how those people had treated me i could see it i could see them in court conniving with their lawyer i could see the deacons who raised their hands at the jail at the jail yeah i got arrested and they put me i got arrested on a sunday morning for trespassing in my own pulpit i'm gonna be a trespasser my name on the sign out front my name on all the church buses and my name is on the program uh the church program to bring the message that day yet they had got the illegal restraining order against me and they hired a security guard or a policeman and he and when i came to church he said you can't be here here's here's the um uh here is the restraining order i say sir look at the date on that restraining order that data on restraining order is incorrect he didn't care about that he arrested me so i got arrested on sunday morning i remember when i go when i go to jail and uh jail yeah see when i get the deal i'm gonna talk paul and silence we're going to talk about that yeah uh-huh yeah all those who've been in jail over here i'll be right back yeah praise the lord watch this now so listen so and and i could see through the bars when they had to come in and swear that i had done wrong i never forget that deacon's hand i was shaking but i could close my eyes and i could see that thing but i was being tormented i was being tormented now some of you you're being tormented by past defense you're being tormented by something that you're gonna have to learn to let go so you can have peace amen amen understanding the special power of this peace oh this peace is amazing i want you to hear what god says about this kind of peace all right first of all look what he says there uh look at what he says there i want you to back up now and let's get this first john chapter 14. john chapter 14. i want you to see this it says peace i leave with you my peace hold on to that my peace i give unto you not as the world giveth give out unto you let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid jesus now he classifies this his peace should hold on to that he said this peace i'm about to give you the world has no understanding of it jesus all right now now let's look on let's move on let's move on let's understand the power of this piece second corinthians chapter 13. it's finally my brother this is the amplifier farewell rejoice be strengthened perfected and completed made what you ought to be be encouraged and consoled and comforted by uh be of the same agreeable mind one with another living peace and then the god of love who is source of affection good will love and benevolence toward men and the author and promoter of peace will be with you we're talking about a different kind of peace a different kind of peace all right watch this now what i am not talking about is the peace of god oh yeah it's the peace i'm sorry it's the peace with god now the peace with god is what happens when i get saved i'm at peace with god that's different from the peace of god romans 5 1 therefore being justified by faith we have peace with god that's one thing through jesus through our lord jesus christ this piece of god is totally different watch this now i want you to see this ephesians chapter six there it says verse he says and having having showered your feet with the preparation to face the enemy with the firm footage stability the promptness and the readiness produced by the good news of the gospel of peace isn't amazed in the armor of god one of the pieces of the armor he says feet shard with the gospel of peace so this peace is like an armor oh stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me all right this piece of god is like a spiritual armor and this piece of god let's look there in psalm in our efficiency now oh i'm in efficiency fishing i want to go to the efficiency and then i think i may jump back but but in deficiency it tells me this and if um um no no i'll tell you what i'll tell you what let's do this let's go no let's do this i want you to do this let's let's let's look at philippians chapter 4 philippians chapter 4. all right it says and the peace of god which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and mind through christ jesus what it says now the peace of god which passes all understanding is going to keep my heart and my mind i'm talking about a different kind of peace and this piece is not based on circumstances this piece is not based on uh this the peace of god it's not based on circumstances like the world's peace so it doesn't always make sense to the carnal mind paul says it is a peace that should pass as comprehension it doesn't seem reasonable that such peace could exist in the midst of the problems and troubles christians go through but this is divine supernatural peace it cannot be figured out by the human intellect i'm telling you that's what is at stake when you choose to hold on to an offense that's what's at stake and understanding this now i think we're ready to pursue this pathway i think we're ready the bible teacher teaches us there in isaiah chapter 26 isaiah 26 saying it says you will guard him and keep him in perfect peace peace and constant peace whose mind both his inclination and his character is stayed on you because he commits himself to you commits himself to the word leans on you leaning on the word and hopes confidently in you and so trust in the lord commit yourself to him lean on him hopefully confidently in him forever for the lord god is an everlasting rock the rock of ages my god my god listen to me now this is what's what you're about to do you're about to release all of the things that people have done for against you because now you're about to rise up and you're going to live at a level my god and it starts with forgiveness whoo is it that simple wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute it's forgiveness i want to be quick to forgive because god perfects what's concerning me see forgiving is not letting you say well if i forgive them i'm going to let them off the hook wait a minute okay come on come on let me talk about it i'm talking to you now because you you're more concerned of what's going to happen to them and this is what god told me i'm in a little raggedy bill he says now some your vindication doesn't come with the uh hurt that comes with those who try to hurt you your vindication comes with the continued manifested blessings that i will pull on your life i will let your enemies live long enough for them to see me bless you amen what god does for one in principle he'll do for another so i'm going to forgive i'll be quick to forgive because god perfects what concerns me i'm quick to forgive because god is the god of recompense he's the one who pays back he's the one i'm be quick to give for god is our vindication he's going to vindicate me i don't have to vindicate myself i'm quick to forgive why because god blesses the peacemaker amen amen god blesses the peacemaker all right what's this pathway to sustain the management the proper management of a fit of an offense moment what what do i have to do man of god i'm glad you asked because i'm just about ready to wrap it up all right number one i don't take offense by controlling my thoughts my thoughts i understand it's the devil that will shoot the fiery darts to exploit how i'm thinking about a situation i gotta make sure i got the right team around me that don't feed that you got you don't let him do that to you you're gonna let that happen you got that's the wrong team if you don't have people around you who can say no no no no you know yeah hey let's look at it another way let's pray for i mean i'm sure and you have to train the people around you so they are not agitators amen because i don't need my thoughts agitated number two don't don't take offense but i can't about i don't i'm going to control my tongue i'm not going to be so quick to spout off and and to say something negative and to attack them i understand what's at stake my peace this incredible peace is at stake i'm not going to do it i'm not going to take offense because i'm going to control my temperament that's my attitude and so we found out in scripture that if i keep my attitude right i can walk through this time where i am being attacked and where the devil wants me to hold on to an offense so he can steal my peace i watch this i'm not gonna let it happen well how do you do that i'm glad you asked hebrews chapter nine it says how much more then with the blood of christ who through the eternal spirit offering himself without blemish to god cleanse your consciences from acts that lead to death scripture in in the emperor on the in the king james says dead works so that you we may serve the living god that's the power of the blood of jesus and as i close today um in those days i mean i'm in a little regularly building and uh i understood that this forgiveness is a decision and then i said to god but it still hurts so god how do i get past the hurt i'm talking to somebody today because you're saying man of god forgiveness is not the problem but it hurts how do you get past the hurt i have had so many people that i ministered this to and it says that's the power in the blood i know you hear all the time we sing about the blood the blood but i'm telling you there is this cleansing power purifying power that cleanses my emotions so god taught me then today we go to him and confess the blood of jesus over my emotions the blood of jesus over my mind and that would eradicate the pain and it did even and i said you got to do it once but i'm saying over and over and over until one day i was walking in the store and walked up to one of the guys that had been one of the ring leaders in this attack against me uh at the church and i was sitting there talking to him standing there talking to him about his family and everybody and that sort of thing and then when i walked now he's looking at me kind of strange you understand and i walked away and the holy spirit said you know that was don't you and i'm going yeah that's what he said think about it i said oh my god i have really gotten past that because that was a genuine love and concern i had forgiven and the pain was gone and that's what i am telling you you are capable of doing because you got the nature of god on the inside of you what do you mean the nature of god on the inside of you it's amazing when we look at jesus he refused to be offended what he refused to be offended all throughout his ministry even watch this when they whipped him up to him he didn't take offense when they nailed the nails in his hands didn't take offense when they nailed his feet didn't take offense when they pierced him in the side didn't take offense why because he was looking beyond that day jesus and that's what you have to do you got to look beyond that day of challenge that beyond that day of offense beyond that day of being hated on and you've got to understand god's got a peace that surpasses all understanding close with this confession they're going to put it there father in the name of jesus i choose to live a life free of being offended because i trust the power of your word to prevail over every situation i take authority over the deceitful thoughts of the enemy to cause me to think negatively about others and their unproven evil intentions toward me i choose to cast down every imagination of any unproven plot to disarm defame to discredit me or my loved ones amen amen i declare the precious blood of jesus covers my heart to eradicate any hurts pain shame the enemy attempts to impose on my life for the intentional attacks of others i choose to forgive the intended offense in the name of jesus i choose to live free of suspicions and speculations and assumptions because i believe no weapon formed against me shall prosper and every tongue that rises against me is brought to note in jesus name i'll only declare all things are working oh yes all things are working together for my good and the lord is perfecting all that concerns me i rejoice that others get the overflow of my relationship her glory with jesus and the love we have for one another testifies of jesus to the world where is god when i'm being offended amen amen where is god when i'm going through a season where my haters seem to be getting the upper hand where is god i want to tell you i know where he is david tells me where it is where is god psalms 23 says he is preparing or take i got to stop y'all he is preparing a table for me they're in the very presence of my enemies he's about to give me a greater anointing he's anointed my head with all what and my cup is running over surely goodness and mercy follows me all the days of my life amen amen how about a time father thank you for this word it's fallen on good ground and it produces fruit we take this confession to heart and because we love thy law we shall not be offended in jesus name amen and amen and amen all right y'all it's offering time it's offering time it's offering time let's celebrate this offering time and um i don't have our statistics and on where we are but we believe by what you just met amen that's what we believe we believe it's men and what we believe now uh god told me to have people sow uh celebration seed amen and we've already given ourselves no it's time to celebrate you're gonna live a life free of offense this is your friend's free a friend offense free celebration seed amen and you gonna live with such peace so i need everybody to do something all right you know if you were here in service we'd pass an envelope give you the opportunity to give i can't pass an envelope through the screen but i can ask you to give to support the efforts that we are engaged in and to give because watch what women what i told you my giving is expected by the lord all throughout the scripture you can see where he asks people when they come to worship bring an offering secondly my it establishes my lordship when i give to him i'm demonstrating i'm trusting you god as the source and sustainer of my life when i give it eradicates my lack it goes to work on the lack in my life not just the financial lack the bible says there that he he will release in my life all grace for for all sufficiency amen in my life and then finally i give because it expresses my love to the lord so the lord said this week ask my people to give that god that seed that is a celebration seed so would you do that they're going to put it on the screen i'm going to pray then after i do that i'm going to throw it back to the office i mean through to the main desk there and boy i got to tell you i'm all fired up boy i start shouting i got to i know that if you get this word and uh you'll se let's seal this word with a seed today father in jesus name we thank you for the opportunity to give that my brothers and sisters who are listening to this now who will listen to it later i thank you father that they will adhere to this offering moment and we sow our celebration seed in jesus name and father in the name of jesus we thank you because we choose to live this way we have your peace that surpasses all understanding in every situation in the name of jesus father we thank him then we have now all sufficiency in all things so that we may abound to every good work in jesus name amen and amen you say well how much should i give listen many of you are still working on that celebration seed from wednesday night god still take it on your heart going to obey god on that no matter how big it is do it and watch god work but today if you'll just do a 20 seat everybody who's watching come on do a 20 seed or more you know i i love the 52 seed that's what god told me years ago to i asked people to do a 52 seed and believe for god do something in 52 days the whole wall of the in jerusalem was rebuilt by uh nehemiah and the group in 52 days that's something i mean i mean i mean god just told me to do it so many of my partners and friends know uh to target their faith for a 52 seed but i want you to do something today do something i don't have to two dollars do what you can let everybody give let's seal this word with a seed all right now are they ready for uh to go all right all right let's go back to let's go back to the main set and i'll meet you in there shortly praise god amen what a powerful word on a fence and of course the apostle says sow a seed for this you know you need to sow a seed so that you won't easily be offended by your family members and friends you know because the sea a seed is something that is going to grow and produce harvest in your life so i really want to encourage you to put sow that seed so that you want will choose not to be offended because it's a choice it is an absolute choice and you can't have fruit until you sow a seed that's right so if you want the fruit you need to sow the seed today and i promise you it will be a blessing for your family it will also be a blessing when you this lesson blesses me yes you know i'm an only child yes your only child we know you don't get offended easily do you yes i do and then you know following in my dad's footsteps and people wanting me i get easily offended and i remember the first time i heard dad teach a lesson on a fence it blessed me yeah and then to hear it again today and how it's a choice to be offended yes people don't offend you you get offended that's right and that is such a blessing to me it was i was watching you know the comments as dad was preaching and i was watching the comments and and how it was just hitting people and what they were saying and you know offense is real and nobody's above being offended but it's a choice like you said and today's seed is so important yeah because when you have a word like that that really resonates in you you know you sow into that you're so into that you obey the instruction and so into that because offenses will come they will absolutely come but i make up my mind ahead of time that i'm not going to be stuck dad said something in the message he said when you're offended your whole life is on lockdown and the people that offended you there moved on to today sometimes people don't even realize that they've offended you right you know that's true even in family a lot of times people don't you know they'll say something and a lot of times they don't even realize it's an attempt to like for example with him being an only child you know uh for you know just hypothetically just say when he first got married or when he was a recent get married pastor kim would say something like you're so selfish right right so he could easily be offended but basically it was hers trying to bring to his attention right that you're you know you're acting like an only child instead of seeing the blessing in her challenging me to change exactly i made the choice to be offended right because that did happen it's real i remember you know when we first we've been married for 29 years but we early on maybe five years in my wife shared something that happened before we got married and um you know and god told her to tell me and i got offended i'm mad i'm upset and this is we weren't even married it probably wasn't even dated no and it took me about well we've been together since i was 14 she was 15 but you know but we weren't you know we weren't married we weren't engaged and um and i'm walking around upset and mad and i'm offended and i remember the lord i'm trying to spend time with god and god said i'm not even hearing you right now right who do you think told her to tell you right and i had to go and repent and free you know ask her to forgive me offense is a real thing right and your spirituality does not negate your humanity exactly it will jack you up if you don't take authority over and choose to not get offended so don't today is a day to sow this is a message you sow on today you sow into it because it is a powerful application of how to be free from the fence yeah and we see you know in in the word of god it's scripture every time a word was spoken especially in the old testament a seed was sown they would lay it at the at the foot of moses they would lay it at the foot of the man of god because that's in in the biblical day that's what or who it was and so the seed was sown in affirmation of the word that was spoken yeah and it was also the tangible expression that you got it you understood it and you're going to live it and so the seed you sow today is the tangible expression to god that you receive this word on a fence today you're going to walk in the principles of it and it will change the spirit of your life the trajectory of your life is going to change yes because of this word today it it blessed me it really blessed me and you know just the revelation on the fact that you don't have to be offended yeah that one scripture that says that you don't have to be a fan yeah so that's the whole thing is that you should sow into nothing else but the revelation that you receive from the word of god and so um i really want to encourage you so we don't know where we are in the budget but i believe we're probably over the budget so it's not about a budget right now it's about you sowing into where you believe god wants you to go and to sow into so that you won't be offended yes yes yes also you blessed us today awesome awesome awesome i think as you were sharing your testimony just about how you were stuck and you when you were up you said you closed your eyes and you could see the deacon's hand shaking through the bar and we we could we could see that like as you're sharing that which lets us know how real that thing was to you right i was trapped i was trapped i was trapped i was tormented i was traumatized it was it was amazing uh and and i looked like i couldn't shake it yeah i got it i couldn't shake it and i keep showing that picture because god told me to show it and because that was a messed up season in my life man i mean in that place i i i contemplated suicide wow so i don't throw rocks at people i know what it is to be so so so far down that you don't ever think you can come up yeah and growing up as a boy preacher i never saw anybody come out of it never i never saw anybody come out of a church fight and it was like after you went through a church fight you know you had mud on you right and nobody would touch you again yes and that's where i was it was like you know there's no way out of this and then god says i'll show you something i i think that's what's so powerful about your teaching that your teachings are not just things you learn from reading a book right your teachings come out of your life experiences and how god has brought you these are convictions of experience yes not just something you read that's why whenever you put the little raggedy building up it's always because it's showing people that these are things you've gone through and the lessons god has taught you and your willingness to share them with others is so powerful and that revelation that you got in that little building in that little closet amen that revelation and your willingness to take a stance then and then then have the victory to then teach others it's helping us because it just sets this template that you can overcome you don't have to stay stuck in a fence you know but you were in it deep and you were able to come out and if you could come out applying the word then everybody else can do the same thing if we just apply the word right and you know i just want to minister to those of you who are watching that are family members especially husbands and wives those of you who are married because there are often times that your spouse will say something or do something to you that will offend you but even if they don't ever come back and ask for your forgiveness you got to let it go because it's holding you in bondage when you're holding on to an offense and so i really want to encourage you to just really take this message even if you have to go back and watch it over and over again i really want to encourage you to do that because you know a lot of times we are holding on to stuff and it's it's trapping us like it's almost like you're in a rat trap and you can't get loose because you're holding on to something and your mate has already gone on to the next thing to the next subject to the next whatever you know and uh i really love dr eisen uh panel this morning with love mcpherson and uh with the ypj which also goes into this whole thing about offenses you know uh because of course when you go through a divorce you can have an offense against the person who you divorce you can be mad at them or even when you when a person a loved one passes away you know you could be offended by the fact they left me here yes you know and so you have to decide i'm going to get past it so that i can heal and i can grow you know yeah amen so we've got a couple of announcements one i just want to remind you women who win meets inner circle are april 21st 23rd so excited about it so i'm excited about the opportunity to minister to those of you who would like to come we have limited seating for those of you who want to be in the building april 21st through the 23rd and then of course we'll also have a virtual experience that's exclusively for those of you who register and want to be in a part of the exclusive experience it's going to be great you tell me it's going to be great so how do you register go to the women who win.net that's the women who win.net amen and then let me just say to those of you who registered in 2020 if you registered in 2020 we're going to refund you your registration because we couldn't figure out how to put your registration on this year and then we didn't know if you wanted to come or if you wanted to not come so we're going to be refunding your registration so you should be getting your refund no later than uh march 15th in the same method of payment that you paid your registration so we'll be refunding that back to you as well and tonight yes tonight you have an opportunity john to really be a blessing to this amazing ministry am i right it's it's it's i'm always excited about the opportunity to sow into apostle and pastor b yes the their lives are exemplary the trajectory of their lives that's the word and all that's the word for the week but it's it's to have a to have an opportunity to sow into them to tap into that grace and just to say thank you for all that you've shared so consistently down to the years it's a awesome opportunity so i always get excited about when they give us a privilege to do that tonight's gonna be fantastic and you know we people hear these words we we say tap into that grace and i want to be very clear you're not you can't purchase yes a connection that's right let's be clear on that when we say tap into that grace this is a spiritual thing because your seed is a spiritual expression so when we say we're tapping into that grace god allows a connection to happen when you sow into ministry and so yes you will tap into the grace that is on the life of this amazing ministry so tonight we want you to come prepared they've been giving away free all week long all week long i can't believe that but the currency of time yes that it took to put this together yes to be a blessing to people ought to lead you tonight to really sow into and it's going to be the blessing for you yes more than it is for anything else to be a blessing to heal your international ministry and one of the things i think about is you know so many times when somebody is a blessing to you someone is consistent in the natural there's people that do things for us and we we bless them right we go thank you and so forth you let alone when you have a spiritual application now and you know apostle and pastor b have just so given of themselves freely again and again corporately to us individually and so tonight yes we seed into the grace but we also we come to say thank you yes we come to say we are so grateful our lives are the better nobody doubts that because of a pause on pastor b and we're selling into their work hilliard international ministries is doing things to change people's lives so we're sewing into their work to support them and paul said he told the church he said because of your fellowship your support with me you have a right to the grace that's on my life and so as we support their work god gets involved in our work so don't miss tonight tonight is a great opportunity amen amen well it's almost time for our private behind the scenes with the pastors and their spouses and their families so we're going to go off now and we look forward to seeing you tonight is it six o'clock tonight uh no i thought it was something happens at six and doctor i just left yeah the uh parenting independent parenting pandemic at six pm tonight so join us at 6 p.m tonight on whatever platform you're on right now we look forward to seeing you on tonight at 6 p.m 30 on saturday oh 6 30 6 30 over that day 6 30 6 30. check your email check the schedule that's just online but 6 30 we'll see you there and uh thank you so much for watching and for being a part continue to sew your seat when you go out i know a lot of people like to so after they go off so i want to encourage you to do that and we'll see you tonight at 6 30. there is nothing like this blueprint for an amazing family resource that i want to send to you absolutely free if you will reach out to request it now now it has the faith-building mechanics necessary to build a strong family and to overcome those setbacks to a quality family life there are daily affirmations for the husband and for the wife and for the unmarried and for the parent and for the children along with extensive easy to understand teachings on the keys to maximizing the family experience and i want to send you absolutely free now reach out now by going to that special link and giving us the information right now and so give us your prayer requests and your request for the blueprint for an amazing family life now be sure to get back online to enjoy the rest of the conference reach out now and send that to me right now and request it you're going to be amazed when you get this in your hands

Channel: New Light Church

Views: 1,232

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: tDj3kjQ7TII

Length: 139min 20sec (8360 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 26 2021