Family Drama | The OG Chronicles | Oprah Mag

you do have your opinions but i don't look at that as butting in i look at that and sharing my opinions okay [Music] so one of the many things i learned from my time in the oprah show is that every family has a little bit of drama or sometimes a lot of drama because we like to help we like to help y'all okay resolve your trickiest family dilemmas okay let's go okay so someone says i've been secretly texting my sister's ex-boyfriend oh no we can't deny there's something really special between us what you doing that for they've been broken up for about two years now and we've tried to break things off but we keep going back to each other what do i do stop it as maya angelou would say stop it now stop it now wow it breaks the girlfriend different coaching family code yeah this is interesting years ago i think i'd been dating steadman i don't know i've been dating him since 1775. so we've been together a long time but we early on in our relationship um i was doing these shows with my sister slept with my sister's husband my sister slept with my boyfriend and all that and gail said if you ever catch me and steadman you know boinking around fooling around or you catch us in bed she shouldn't even be mad at me because she should say i've lost my mind take me to the hospital yeah that i would never be upset she goes call someone yes put me in the jacket and have me carried off because you will know that i had lost my mind that's just my mind that that you just you can't be mad at him yeah my boyfriend and i are moving in together after a year he's a great guy i'm pretty sure he's the one but because we live in different states my mom has only met him twice she's super strict and full of opinions and judgement like that looking at me go ahead i haven't told her yet so i haven't told her yet but i want to send her the message that i'm 30 an adult capable of making my own decisions how do i break the news to her before we move in together or after when it's already a done deal you know what i think about this number one i think she should break the news before and when you're 30 there really isn't much your mother can say she really can it's really your decision she's just going to be full of judgment yeah yes well some mothers would be full of judgment but i think ultimately every mother wants their daughter to be happy that really is a bottom line do not tell her after it's done you should always tell people things when they're already in a good mood don't tell them when you're already arguing about it and then saying we're moving in this is what i always say patreon i do think it's something if the mother doesn't like him but this is it should give you pause i would say i would say it should give you pause but also i would say parents don't understand what i learned years ago from this expert on the oprah show that there is a time to manage and there's a time when you become a consultant and you have got to understand your mother's got to understand by the time you're 30 she's just a consultant in your life so you can take the advice or not take it but if your mother really really doesn't like him that is also worth noting because parents really want what's best for you and oftentimes they can see things that you can't i love my in-laws but they are very overbearing about how to parent my one-year-old this is not good even though i'm still breastfeeding i caught my mother-in-law feeding my daughter formula no that's not good how do i tell them thank you next how do i tell them thank you for the advice but she is my child oh my goodness your mother-in-law is wrong about that i'm not a mother-in-law but i hope to be a mother-in-law one day and so help me i know you'll tell me if i become one of those but i really hope i won't be a mother-in-law that's butting in yeah and i will tell you you do have your opinions but i don't look at that as butting in i look at that and sharing my opinions okay your mother-in-law is wrong she should not be giving your baby formula if you don't want your baby to have fun but shouldn't she involve her husband in this discussion to say listen husbands are often and they're like feel like they're being pulled between their mother whom they love and their wife whom they love and so husbands try to stay out of it okay ever since i started working and supporting myself my family back home has started asking for money oh this is good for you they often make side comments when i mention i'm going on vacation or when i buy myself something new oh not good i want to help them as much as possible good but i also work hard and deserve to treat myself how do i draw the line so here's what i told myself the lesson i learned for myself and the lesson i teach all the girls at my school in south africa who all come from challenged backgrounds and every one of the girls that comes to my school is the first in her family to actually break the cycle of poverty to be able to go to school and break that cycle i say to them your life is like a pie you have various slices in that pie you have your relationships you have your work you have your responsibilities to your home your rent or your mortgage or whatever and your family should be just a slice of that pie they're part of your whole life they're not the whole life they are a part of your whole life you get to decide you do how much of your salary your time your energy you want to give to the family you make that decision and they have to be okay with it and if they're not that's okay i'm a dad and my daughter's boyfriend just came to ask for her hand in marriage i like him but i don't think he's the one for her i'm worried she is settling what do i do if he thinks that the daughter is happy it really isn't his decision to make you should voice your concerns and once she tells you why she wants to be with him if she is happy with that you have to be happy with that every family has its issues its quirks we thank you for watching let us know in the comments what topics you want us to talk about next you can watch more videos like this on oprahmag.com see you next time see you next time

Channel: Oprah Daily

Views: 359,771

Keywords: Oprah Magazine, OprahMag, Oprah videos, Oprah Winfrey, O the Oprah Magazine, Oprah Mag videos, OprahMag.com, Oprah and Gayle, Gayle king

Id: aXWN2qb0Z7o

Length: 6min 17sec (377 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 17 2019