Ex-Ultra Orthodox Jew Teenager's SHOCKING Twist

they're not really equipped with anything to leave they cannot speak English read and write when you leave you're going to lose your family your friends everything after everything that all the Jewish people have been through you're gonna now just leave millions of people died for this [Music] welcome everyone another episode of on the edge with Andrew Gordon got Joseph Krauss here and Joseph will he'll tell us of course but he grew up in one of the haradi communities uh ultra-orthodox Jewish communities I'm Jewish myself I'm particularly interested in all of these kinds of Worlds and things and Joseph left that community and that was very very difficult I think and difficult on the outside as it often is once you're on the outside so we're going to talk about all of that Joseph yeah why didn't you start by just telling us a little bit about the community you grew up in what what it's called in particular because I know there's a few different kinds and and how it's different compared to what people might be used to yeah so um I grew up in Curious George and um it's a small village in Upstate New York um and it's it's the satmar community and they also have another like part of that community in Brooklyn but the one in Curious Joe Upstate is much more strict and especially much more basically locked up there's literally a fence around the thing and nobody really leaves like you know so that's that's where I was all my life and like I've never been like even though I was only maybe like an hour away from the city I've never really been to the city and if I was I was only in one little circle in the city and never really saw the world so a lot of people have a hard time understanding that because on my birth certificate it says I was born in Manhattan but uh whatever I'm a U.S citizen maybe third generation but yet um I left a couple years ago so I'm speaking English but at first I couldn't speak but I still cannot read and write and like very basic things um even like how simple Street works I didn't know like to get to the studio to record I didn't know how to like navigate the GPS everything is a struggle to do and especially financially you know yeah well that's that's an interesting thing as well I think uh there's a stereotype about Jewish people Jewish people have lots of money or whatever uh and it's horrible and I spoke to someone yesterday who's an academic in um Ultra Orthodox community so was he left as well uh Zalman Newfield um and so he was talking about how that's a total myth and you just hear about the very very rich Orthodox Jewish people but all it's very difficult with without a the right training and background to then go into business and work with the rest of uh the Western World so you say you you've only recently learned English but your English sounds there's always a slight accent right but it sounds pretty fluent I mean how that it surely you didn't you must have known some growing up not really it's hard to explain like a lot of things including English some things like I would know it maybe even better than other people but then very basic things I wouldn't know so um I don't know I think also Jewish people are I don't know maybe this is like stereotyping but like smart like we are in in school like 14 hours a day you know so we do a we are very academically active so maybe that that sharpens a person's brain to later be able to pick up faster stuff but but that's not really see that's it's the same thing like saying Jewish people are rich it's a nothing is is no thing is is Cut and Clear on any racial group like actually growing up um I was told like a lot of things which kind of makes you brainwashed still want to stay in the community like for example um one time um the principal of this of the school was yelling at students who were misbehaving um saying you're acting like the shower them from Harlem and it means like it's it's basically like a negative it's not the n-word but it's like a negative way of saying um like yeah so I used to think like you go to Harlem I'm gonna probably die but I was in Harlem a couple times I I just moved to the city and it's it's perfect it's beautiful so yeah um I forgot where I was going with this but no but it's a really good point because you that that is something very typical to sects and Cults and things where you know the outsider is the bad guy um of course it's not just Cults that have been denigrating black black people for for years and and Harlem and stuff like that and then you you know I haven't I haven't been there but you say it was it's fine so yeah that's a very particular thing that's done to keep people in their Cults um and so so what kind of things were going on I suppose as a child aside from this fence which sounds crazy I never heard of this fence that's around this place what kinds of things would be strange for us but to you at the time felt normal I have to give a real disclaimer about the fence there isn't that much a physical fence there is a bigger fence than a physical which is an emotional offensive but actually I like to say that there's a fence because when people don't hear there's a fence they don't think but it's not a lie because technically in the in the Jewish religion it needs to be out of so you're able to carry something on Shabbos whatever it's complicated thing but technically there is actually a fence that you can hop it over but there is a small fence it's like a wire a wire but like a fence like if there's overpass it'll be a wire but around the whole Carousel there's actually a fence but it's it's a very easy fence to jump over you know it's not like the Mexico uh water but psychologically it's very difficult for people people who don't know about that that's um Friday nights and and on Saturday after until the next sun set on Saturday uh Jewish people are not supposed to do any work if you go to Israel which I've done many a Time many times you you have to get into a lift or an elevator that that just goes on every floor so you don't do the work of pushing the button for the particular floor um and there are some there are sometimes these wires or fences and things around certain areas that allow you to do specific things which is so strange but it sort of works with modern technology so you can push a pram or I don't know what what's the word in American for pram like a thing with a baby in it um there's an American word for it you don't say pram um I can't what is it trolley I don't know yeah but you can push the thing with a baby in it and and that's okay because there's the fence and the what is that right am I getting this right about what the fence is yeah yeah so I don't know but uh all these jewishness especially in the orchard there's so many headaches and and they get stuck under details actually original hasidism Right started as a movement because that's what I understand right two three hundred years ago Judaism was so um tight you know everything was so stupid like you basically lost a point like a lot of things in in the religion in any religion starts off with with something that makes sense a concept right okay like let's say with modesty right like woman and man like certain things but then the boundaries becomes weird and then you completely lose the point and you're completely off track from what you originally want to accomplish and just becomes extremism so the same thing is with uh with with uh Judy is like it was it was very like you know what I mean by tight like very like like like a person with a broom up his ass you know yeah I always say upset but you know what obsessive compulsive disorder is not really it's a disorder you know when you feel like you have to keep touching things you touch the the light switch on and off and yeah some people they feel it like OCD yeah that's what it is that's what it that's the long word for OCD so that's what I sometimes think of with some types of Hasidic Judaism yeah so so they completely lost the point Judy's a I'm thinking I might be wrong but that's what I understand right like 300 years ago so it came somebody started this hasidum movement and by the way I think a lot of people always ask me here's the answer what hasidism is all about in my opinion right how it started and he said you know it's not about all the the OCD and being so crazy about everything like the elevator like that wasn't the original point the original point of Shabbos probably was just a day off to relax right yeah God rested on the seven days so chill it wasn't about make your life harder right I think so so can this guy said let's make a new version of of in in I know a lot of people back then 300 years ago was very anti most Jews were very anti-hassidism it was like it was almost like hasidism was a the rebellious movement But as time came by they saw that was the only way that Judaism was gonna survive because in order to survive you need to become really extreme so you know what I mean so so I guess that's how it started um but they completely oh so but like moving forward 300 years later now what everyone has citizen started they also lost a point they're like completely off it started off to be back in the day they were all focused on learning a lot like 60 hours a day like learning and being like very like like litfic let's fish with people maybe I don't know man and so then when you're you're upbringing then when you're a child like what yeah like I guess I'm just going back to that what were the kinds of things that were just like oh the to you was normal but was quite weird to me it was normal but it was quite I don't know what stuff that stuff that felt normal to you because you were a child who grew up in this community but for other people who are not from the community this would be like hey what what are they doing that's that's different you know what kinds of things would were they I don't know after I leave sometimes I say stuff that we used to do and people laugh and now I don't know but uh when I grow up first of all I didn't really see the rest of the world so that's all I knew right I never had to Growing Up Until I was like 18 years old when I left I'm 20 right now um I didn't know anything else right so um yeah so but um in there everything was normal that's all I that's all I know I mean I need I knew things was crazy but I thought the world is crazy whatever this is this is all I know if you grow up in a prison you only know the prison right that's that's what you think is this is normal Prison crazy right yeah yeah so what kinds of things then like uh I guess you had to what are they called the hair that you grow on the side the pious yeah what was that for I don't know that's just something to do it at three years old uh maybe it comes originally from the again like originally the Bible says don't cut off the end of your hair but eventually none of these things really goes back to an original commandment or original meaning of meaningful reason it's just that's why it is and we don't think about it and we just kind of went extreme and looking weird and acting weird and and doing [ __ ] up things what what kinds of things uh made you feel different and maybe that you might want to leave um growing up there was a lot of things not everything I can talk about right now but um there was there was a lot of a lot of uh pain a lot of uh a lot of restrictions a lot of criticism you know like every every movement in your life is controlled like controlled how you think what you do how you eat how you there's so many so many rules so many things um you know and and there's only one framework within the community of how how how your life needs to be shaped and nobody can go a little bit different even even within Judaism so you know they're even anti-israel so it's like there's only one way and that's the way there's no other way you can have to live your life that is preset before I was born everybody already knew how it's gonna when I'm three years old they're gonna shave my head I'm actually shaved right now but even more like I'm bored shaved and um leave two long things like that make me look weird and put a big black Yama call my head and uh then go to school be there 18 hours a day and all the crazy things is gonna happen not getting uh a proper uh secular education and or anything like not knowing how to read and write yet 13 years old you can have your bar mitzvah you're gonna have to start putting on the wires on your hands and um that's it and then you're gonna have to get married when you're 18. and maybe you're gay maybe you're not gay but you're gonna still have to maybe the girl is a lesbian but you're still gonna have to get married you're gonna have to have 20 kids pop a baby each year until it's like not possible anymore like psycho not psychology like biology like how many one how many babies can a woman have [Music] yeah my great grandma the a holocaust Survivor her name was yita Schwartz um she had like at her funeral 3000 uh descendants uh yeah see I think she was the biggest uh Holocaust Survivor with you know and everything I'm gonna say Yiddish expression I don't know how to say it in English but growing up all the time I hear the word saying it means victory in Hitler okay so it's have you ever heard yeah once when people say um I want they want you to lose right like they they don't want the haters right so but then you like laughing and like yeah see I told you like so I actually have a YouTube channel right and this is actually the time to properly say so everybody go check it out um so there's a lot of haters though for over there from Hasidic people like they don't have internet but they're still some like if you look at the comments like a lot of people are hating whatever so what did I want to say oh right so so like if a lot of of a person gets a lot of hate sometimes you wanna show them you know my English is not good I'm thinking of a lot of Expressions but I don't know how to say it in English but it's great man yeah you get the point right so you're trying to you're trying to give like a victory like the last laugh right so growing up everything that happened everything that was done was set and it means alert you lost you wanted to uh kill at all the Jews he killed six million he thought Judaism was going to be gone after that right but here we are so that's why they had so many kids that's why they have such a strict religion um to keep everything um so because like I said only extremism well in a way survives like that's why when you turn on CNN it's extreme on one way you turn on Fox News it's extreme on another way nothing is neutral nowadays you know if you want to keep your party if you want to keep your community you want to keep people thinking a certain way you need to go on the extreme so unfortunately there's a lot of victims on on any place whether it's Amish community whether it's Hasidic Jewish community uh you know I don't know too many others but I'm sure the world has a lot of problems bigger than this but yeah you should watch this channel you should watch this channel we've got uh Jehovah's Witnesses uh some some parts of Mormonism um there's a there are quite a few different groups of Scientology is one of them the one Tom Cruise is in that's really interesting point you make that um they sort of became a lot more extreme after the Holocaust almost in defiance of Hitler in defiance of that and now it's just so like filled with anxiety and like like everything is so tight now yeah yeah and I'll go back to I didn't finish up on my grandmother um she she had 3 000 like how many kids I think she had I don't want to say the wrong name but maybe 20 kids she even had a kid who died um and this is after the Cause right I think she had like kids before the alley Colston all kids died and then she started or maybe not whatever but yeah a lot of people had to start over again but she had the biggest family when she died right so but every time when when she came to my uh let's say yamaka it's called option when you get the curls and everything she most likely said Hitler that was my goal here we go we we rebuilding so everything that was done was done in pain so why am I saying this I don't know but maybe that's part of how you can't really judge him you asked me to talk about like there's a lot of anti-Semitism so and there's a lot of like the New York Times wrote an article about this and about how there's not education I was part of that article and it's very important um but there's also a lot of hate which I which I which I don't disagree with that and and if you want to see a defense here's your defense maybe because here so but that's not really an excuse because somebody was just traumatized there's a lot of veterans from any war and they don't have that excuse to abuse their kids like that oh yeah I was a veteran World War II so now let me go abuse my kids for five generations I've never heard of that it helps us to understand though doesn't it isn't it an entire Community who was taken uh away because of who they were and then they try to that happens with all minorities where they maybe not veterans uh as such because they're quite disparate like different people and they're not neces they're not always but they do form a community uh veterans and so they should um but I suppose when it's uh a minority of sorts they do often come together and they try to be stronger together and to push people on the outside away but then as you have you as you've said it can cause some very uh intense things so I think it's possible to to warn people against being anti-semitic because of the actions of these people and and they only make up a small percentage of Jews anyway uh but also we should be able to criticize the the bad stuff right yeah 100 and you know if I don't know who's gonna listen to this or how much but if if it ends up going viral or whatever this is a very important thing with the education um people don't realize like I think I've seen the statistics by 20 20 30 right which is like in a couple years they're going to be 30 of New York City public school school system is going to be um Hasidic kids right and New York city has the biggest uh um what is it called school system of the whole us so there are there are a big percentage like even from Jews they the community grows so fast they maybe only started with like 500 people 75 years ago after the Holocaust but that's what that was their goal to Victory against Hitler one of their goals right that's a at least a word that I heard a lot and I'm sure my father and grandfather growing up here every single day so um they grow I've heard that the Hasidic Community doubles every 15 years so if they have a they're very they're very big but still very small right now right they're not even like a million people maybe there are just a million when you calculate every single person but if you have 100 100 000 people now in 15 years you have two um 200 000 then 400 and a million you know then it once you reach high digital numbers before you know it New York is going to be another Israel except not Israel because they hate Israel these guys but but that is you're absolutely right and that's one of the things that's worrying about Israel itself uh because these guys often the the Hasidic people in Israel vote a lot more right wing uh and then they don't have to go to the Army but they enforce that the rest of the very secular communities yes in Israel has to go to the Army but also I was just I just say I was fact checking what you said about the 30 because it seems insane but I'm reading here in Times of Israel that yaphod and it's not New York it's Brooklyn which is part of New York of course a big part of New York an organization pushing for reforms in the Yeshiva system has projected that by 2030 30 of Brooklyn school children will be ultra Orthodox nearly all of whom study in yeshivas is that that can't be all Brooklyn sure it must be 30 of Jewish kids no no Brooklyn it's a listen it's it's already like this come to New York City and you will see they're everywhere right so I I'd say it will be another Israel will be another Jewish State um why do you think they're against Israel I don't know maybe because they didn't want other people to join Israel they wanted to keep even from Israel they wanted to keep their own Israel back then they were so small like 50 years ago so all you can do is be anti-israel but give it another 20 years and they're gonna try to take over New York which they've kind of already like every politician if they want to win in New York state if they want to win a seat in Congress or in Senate from New York City you need to have the Hasidic elections otherwise you're not going to win they're so big and they're both very strongly right and and they have no idea about politics the rabbi tells 500 000 people everybody needs to go vote for Governor Cuomo okay everybody follows like a sheep that's a lot of power in the hands of one or two rabbis isn't it we've got to be careful though Joseph not to be seen to be saying which we're not that that Jews are trying to take over whatever you know because of the stereotypes and no no that's not what I'm saying see I'm just saying oh so why am I saying this I'm saying because we need to be careful and make sure that uh the problems are being taken care of now when it when it we still can and when it's still easy and also you know it's always better take up take care of a problem faster but once they grow it's going to be harder to take care of it they're going to be more powerful now I'm not saying even if if the entire New York State is Jewish populated there's still 50 other states there's still a whole country the conspiracy of Jewish people controlling the world is is [ __ ] as anti-semitic it's wrong to say and I I totally don't agree with that um with that being said there is some problems within the Hasidic Community it's like saying Christians control the world and blah blah blah because and then you have this little Amish community somewhere in Pennsylvania they don't even did nothing like right like Amish Stone represent like Christianity or whatever it's it's just good old-fashioned anti-semitic stuff that people try to doing and uh it's and it's wrong yeah yeah no I agree with you and it's it's something that I mean the first people to be scared of this are are Jews themselves I mean just just like Christians might might be the first to be affected by any kind of extreme version of Christianity uh the extreme versions of versions of Judaism I mean just I I don't want people thinking that I'm somehow related to this and now that you've left Joseph I don't think you want people thinking of you in that way um and we're both Jewish people and I don't like the image that it shows to the world at the same time I've had a lot of the same people that you've had you know the haters or whatever I've had some very angry people messaging in and saying it's anti-semitic to criticize the the that Community look what what is what is if you could and it's not easy to do I know but if you could sum it up and like a minute what is so so bad about having to grow up the way you grew up what was what was just so people understand I didn't really prepare what Keynotes to say and over emotional but it's it's it's everything like people always ask me why do you leave is there one thing that happened no there it's a it's a list a list of lists of millions of things every single thing um it's it's just so horrible people people live in pain um you know like hate every minute of their life in there everything is controlled they don't agree with anything that's happening in their life and they have no other choice other citizens just not their head and you're like yes I agree I'll do as you said yes master whatever and there's nothing they can do you know take take the beating and that's it so and and they don't they're not really equipped with anything to leave because if they leave they're like stepping into a jungle they cannot speak English read and write they know they don't know anything about the world um they are that when you leave you're gonna lose your family your friends everything and and also the community is brought up in a very high standard like quality of life and a little bit kind of like high quality to make you feel like [ __ ] when you leave like any little change and also um high quality as in community like outside world maybe isn't that much of a community people are more like independent right like you don't but over there they get you used to community very strong and when you lose that it it's a it's a big shock you need we're like wow so there's no more community it's not that there isn't you need to figure out which I still am figure out where in this world there's this whole world you know right I'm working to get my Swiss citizenship right now from uh my father at like I think like after the Holocaust that's actually what I saw my Rabbi Escape right the co-fal of gisler so who's that the the grand Rob by Joel titlebomb that's like Curious Joel is named after him oh why what did he do no I think so after the hot by the Holocaust he escaped from the Nazis to Switzerland all right so so somehow I'm a Swiss citizen I don't know how but I don't have it yet I'm working on getting it but I probably will be able to get it um yeah so because you know Jews never know what happened because technically I'm not a Jew I don't identify I'm an atheist right but I guess if I take a DNA test it will say 100 Ashkenazi do it right so you never know I have experienced anti-semitic stuff towards me even though I keep saying I'm not Jewish but they say you have an accent where you're from so I said that's where I'm from but I don't like that people and I just tell Jewish so I'm still gonna get the hate from the anti-semitic people sometimes [Music] um so yeah it's always good to have another another citizenship I forgot why I got into this citizenship you're absolutely you're right it's it's necessary if you're from a minority that needs to be protected in some cases really you need to be able to go to places in case bad things happen I did one of those um those tests and I'm 95 or 96 Ashkenazi Jewish and then there was like some other stuff like Iberian which is Spanish Portuguese and I was like where the hell is that I don't know I don't know if we have like a Spanish Milkman that I didn't know about or something that was met my mom uh uh no that didn't happen and then I I don't know so you get all these different things I don't know hey when you were when you were younger growing up was there stuff like the matchmaking uh were you supposed to go with a certain girl or something like that yeah I left at 17 right before I turned 18 so that was the age that I would have been told hey here's here's the girl make 20 babies build the community let's go so what did you have any like girlfriends that you you were able to choose to to go out with or or no I didn't know nothing about sex at that point anything um it's I just know at 18 years old that's where the average age when you get married or at least you start looking I'm about 20 years old and most people in there are married that's how they're able to build the community very rapidly they would get married even younger if they could but the law doesn't allow but there's actually like a see now because the community is so big there's already sub subgroups so like and and Upstate in Liberty New York they have a community called bresler violi Road and and he makes people he said his goal is to make people married as young as 13 years old and he constantly have his people get married under 18. so so 13 is his goal so telling a 13 year old born a 13 year old girl or or different age groups a 13 year old girl maybe I don't know I've I don't know the actual marriages in this community but he already has hundreds of followers right maybe a 13 year old girl with a 25 year old man I that that will probably seem good to him I don't know but it's really scary that stuff so so that that was okay so you didn't have to have the matchmaking stuff you didn't know about that well that seems crazy to me because teenagers that's like in in the outside world is so much what we talk about and we're obsessed with a girl or a boy or whoever it is yeah and all of that stuff so so did you have to well no you know what I'm skipping ahead I want to go what about your parents your family did you have a good relationship with them or a bad relationship uh I never liked my parents um we're going to talk about my family right so my my parents are [ __ ] okay so um I'm sorry to say it but like it is what it is yeah yeah some people are going to be like oh you're so rude to your parents they're always your parents but that's what it is I was abused as a child by my parents um I probably should have called the CPS or but I didn't know their phone number I didn't know how to how to talk to them um but yeah I can tell you a lot of stories I was locked out in the cold when I was a kid I was beaten up by my father and everything um but it's not like you know I just didn't like them and and they were always constantly fighting each other and they were forced to be married because the rabbi told them that I wanted to get divorced at one point what I heard they hid it from me right they told us that mommy's just going for a vacation with you for a couple weeks until things clears out but they're almost gonna get divorced that's how bad things were and the rabbi is like it's very rare to get divorced in there and that's also part of the reason why I'm so lucky that I left right before I right before I got married because people get married a lot of times they want to leave but they're already stuck you're not going to be able to get your kids when you leave it's very complicated so you're already stuck so and and and divorce is very rare in there so now this maybe has not but still it's like compared to the rest of the world divorce is is almost not happening in there so um yeah so uh so my parents were forced to get to stay together and when they came back when I was like maybe in third grade the only thing they were constantly fighting the only thing where they were United in their marriage um and fighting is very traumatizing right there's like chairs flying in the air and stuff and I'm standing in the middle the only thing that they were United on was um on abusing the kids but with what with religion so every every commandment every every law or every made-up law from the religion they would abuse me with and and you know just trying to make my life miserable not only my siblings and everything so oh yeah it was just a miserable miserable life in there and it's not I didn't laugh only because my family about my family is obviously part of it I don't want to have anything to do with them and they don't want to they don't want anything to have to do with me you know what I mean so I it's fine I like it that way do you think they were um attempting to because because they couldn't control their own marriage they were trying to control you guys like because the marriage wasn't going well they they were abusive to their children yeah um the the marriage didn't go well I don't know what what was wrong like but they got married in the first place not wanting to get married right um so it's complicated but there's so many things like uh um yeah I've heard like a lot of things so I don't know I don't know it's it it I just know I never like my family I don't know why there isn't one thing that I can tell you know my father on one time took a knife and he started cutting off my throat I can't really tell you that I could tell you my father is running after me beating me a lot of people can think that happened to them but it happened like on a constant basis my whole life when I was younger I got beaten up more when I got older I was Stronger so I could run faster and kind of like fight back it makes me so angry to hear I want to like I want to go and speak to your father you know I want I want I I'm so angry but and I'm not the only one this is what happens in a lot of families a lot of families that happens I don't know about their marriage but the father is just abusive towards the kids in that way and and what I mean in that way I mean in the in the religious so you use religion as a weapon against you you know I'm trying to think of an example where people would use uh a certain thing to abuse other to use as as a stick to to be meet other people you know to abuse other people yeah I know what you mean I know what you mean it's just like that's the excuse It's somebody's an abusive person and then religion is like the excuse to do it with it's it's terrible with that and then so how was it I guess when you started I mean how did you tell them hey I'm out of here you know I just uh it okay the story that I left um it's been a while so I knew that I was gonna leave I I don't know it just kind of happened slowly it was it was on the on the off time from from school like on the holidays and I I could we didn't have a Yeshiva for me to go and whatever so and and I already kind of knew I'm gonna leave I'm so lucky that I left you know once you leave even if you're out for one week you see everything you're like there's no way going back now right so I don't know I've never when I was 13 years old I didn't I always knew I didn't agree with this I'm gonna maybe leap but the fact that I left I don't know something else could have happened I would have stayed and that would have been the rest of my I don't know like it's not like I know oh yeah I'm gonna leave like most people don't leave and I'm sure a lot of people and I'm half friends we talked even people who believe less and everything because at certain times in my life I was fooling my own mind to believe in everything we were being told but then I had friends who were like laughing they're like are you serious you believe in this crap like silly State yeah but yeah and they're staying and they ain't married they have kids now right they're getting married right now I talked to some of them and yeah they they're already getting married and having kids so they don't believe in it and and they continue the cycle continuing the cycle right that's that's what it is and the same thing with abusing the kids like the Holocaust Survivors maybe they were abusing their kids because they were traumatized from that cause but then continuing on at some point there's no excuse anymore so where was I going oh when I left so yeah I slowly knew um so I I talked to like uh believe it or not I didn't know who to call but I thought it was if I I was sorry first I got a smartphone um and I I got it see I don't know where long I I didn't like I don't remember I keep like going back but I think it started with me getting good with the taxi driver like a non-jewish taxi driver and my parents didn't know and I would go to to a farm where I used to work when the school was off and he would uh let me use a smartphone for a little bit wow and and like I I used to talk it was like a 30 minutes Drive every day back and forth and we talked a lot not thinking back he was like probably like not even speaking with English I don't know he was from some country and and whatever um so he he had a um yeah so and then he helped me like it was crazy and then I actually went the last year before I left I was I was in Canada that was when the covet happened that year um I didn't I went to uh a school at Yeshiva in Canada and then so actually also I escaped Canada two weeks before the learning year ended I couldn't take it anymore and I left I I had a friend and I told them my parents know that I'm coming home but I they didn't so he took me home through the border and and you know how I got into Canada the SEC so I don't know I feel like people are gonna get bored because the things doesn't make sense I'm going like all over the place but the way I got into the second time in Canada in the middle of the year so you get you know school break type of thing in the middle of the year right so the borders to Canada were locked right the covet how did I get in a lot of Hasidic people they did commercial vehicles right and smuggling I got smuggled into Canada so so escaping to get into the years was easier but it was still like locked down as 2019 right and 2020. so yeah I I got it I got back two weeks early and and that's when I started like I for that couple weeks I had a job a little bit over there but I was already like completely what is it called disassociate is that a word like yeah like disconnected you know from the whole thing like that was the first time like they have to fill in right that you wrap around your arms the the black wires um that was the only the first time that I stopped completely for weeks not putting it on I I never wanted to do that even if I didn't believe it because I just didn't want to break the cycle from the day I turned 8 13 to the day I stopped but oh then I was like you know what [ __ ] this I'm gonna break this like like a lot of times I say even if you don't believe you can't leave you really after everything that all the Jewish people have been through you're gonna now just leave like millions of people died for this yes I am going to leave I don't care I'm gonna break the cycle you know they died for your for you to have freedom to choose that's what you they died for the same thing as in America right now like certain people are like yeah we died for you I don't know what you died for like that's it they want they want you to live a certain way saying that you didn't have to die you know what I mean like I that's not what I want to live you know you died for the wrong cause it's for you it's for you to have the choice I suppose that's what it should be that's what I think but not saying that people who died are not victims and and and whatever and it's not sad but you know what I mean I think it's also part of life everywhere people are dying you know so so so so you've gotten back from Canada to home and then what how do you tell the parents no so those months and weeks like um I don't know I was already like completely I didn't talk to my parents and they already kind of give up they saw the fight is over I'm already like at this point like what was I like 17 I was built I used to have like even bigger muscles to hurt now you know whatever so it's just like they couldn't really phys it used to be always a physical thing that would force me to do stuff right um do the things that but it couldn't really been like that anymore and um yeah and I already like talked and I I got a smartphone started like doing a little research in my little abilities um seeing and I was like yeah this is what I'm gonna do and uh and and then I actually called a suicide hotline because I thought they were gonna it was like well I'm gonna call the police now I want to say hey I have a question like what would it be like if I leave and like can you so and I talked to like a really nice lady over there um and she is she's she helped me she um she explained like I had these final questions like what will happen like will anybody ever want to date with me or something like that because whatever and whatever she basically reassured me that like everything will be fine like yeah you can leave and whatever um and yeah so in the meantime that I was talking to her um and like keep making sure because for me it kind of seemed like the mental fence like you need to escape and even though there's no fence like you need to just take off and and Escape [Music] um so in the meantime she told me where I'll be able to go buy clothing and she helped me on the day to tell me where it is like a barber shop and whatever so she sent me out with like a a huge shelter not far actually from where I lived but like it was outside I thought I already escaped complete New York I didn't know it was only like 30 miles from where I live but it was like it was in Middletown New York right so it was far away so um so yeah I got there um oh so in the meantime I had a lot of money in the bank I always save my money and that's probably part of the reason because I knew I was gonna leave one day and I need without money you're you're asked okay you need to have a fund um so and now the money is dried out but I saved up from I said I worked in the farm I did all my life I worked really hard I saved up the money now I need to get the money so it took me probably like a month or two to manipulate I don't even remember they wanted me to go to the Hasidic school and back to school and whatever do this and that so I told them okay so I want my money I want to deposit it into a bank account so that took a couple weeks and then I said oh the bank says I need my ID I need my passport again you please give me my password okay they said I needed a Social Security number that no they didn't actually say that but I lied to them so I can get all my documents the day that I got and then but in the meantime it took months because like in the meantime they painted our house so we had to move to another place and they said oh it's in the safe I couldn't be like I need it right now like it's gonna also get suspicious you know like why you have everything wait a minute you have all your all your documents that's the most important thing right oh so this was just to clarify this was before you actually left and you were planning to leave yeah yeah like the final steps and then the day that I got I think the last thing I got was my birth certificate I had everything so I had a check with all the money that I had so that way even if the check wouldn't work or like it turns out I I had to get another check from my father actually after that um because because it expired I couldn't open a bank account to turn 18 without parents um but that way I had proof I could say because he always took my I gave my money you told me you need to give me your money I'll save it for you right now I how am I gonna prove that I had a couple thousand dollars and he needs to give it back to me right so I had a check then I can say yeah you know that's that's what I was thinking um so and I actually ended up getting it so the day that I had all my my my social security card my my passport my my birth certificate I think that's all I needed uh I just took off and left and yeah I went to that shelter I went I got a haircut and bought clothes yeah and look at what I was wearing I I didn't know like what anything about fashion I just bought anything I bought like girls pants I didn't know I could really whatever yeah so oh man that's so crazy that's incredible to think about does it make you emotional to think about those first few days you were what 18 years old suddenly out on your own and basically homeless yeah I was still um I think like six months ago to be 18 um so I was still a minor was during the heavy part of the covet so first thing all these youth shelters were on lockdown it was it was crazy at first you know yeah the first part of my life I'm I've only been like two years but the first part of it was very hard it was because of the covet added on to everything else so anything I was trying to do was lock down and restrictions you can't do this you can't do that the schools were still closed right so he and neither that education very importantly and all the schools were closed this is it's incredible to think because yeah you didn't really speak the language you didn't have the the education and the tools and things what what do you do next where where can you get a place to live in a job and things like that well the struggle continues it's still it's still not the the happy part at the end of the story but um uh yeah I'm seeing I'm seeing a great future ahead okay well that's good I mean so what have you been doing like the last two years have you been able to find any work I've been having minimum wage jobs here and there um you know uh yeah I actually very great news I just got my real estate license oh wow cool congratulations yeah yeah it sounds crazy like I don't know how to read and write but yet I passed uh part of it is because I was always listening to on the little hotlines that were you not allowed to real estate stuff that's all I know like in that Community is very real estate oriented like a lot of people do that so and yeah it works really hard I got it but I don't see really I'm gonna be able to cash it out but I just got it so I'm gonna have to sign up with a broker see I don't know but like yeah right now I'm really struggling like I don't have any money I don't have anything I don't have any education so yeah I mean if anybody want to help me I have social media so come message me on Instagram we'll put links and things below below the YouTube video to your Instagram and your um your YouTube um as well and anything else you want really you want I mean people to people you want to you wouldn't work right yeah I'm I am looking for a job yes um especially like a job that like is gonna like somehow help me I need to somehow be able to make money just to eat and live pay my rent and one job you can do is the the real estate one because you just passed the exam yeah but then you actually have to to get the exam and to actually go into the the job is two different things yeah like I'm gonna have to write emails and and do the document I just really understand the concept of real estate like a lot of things you know about it and I had to study I had to pay a couple hundred dollars for the course and I like constantly with my little reading skills read the book and then I just had to get like a 70 score on the test it's not it's not hard to get it the the license but to be able to go in to turn it into a job and make any money off of it that's a different thing yeah you got to give out your CV to like a million real estate agent places yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's difficult man that is so hard and do you ever speak to your family at all like they're not going to help you are they no my family knows that I struggle whatever they don't want to help me I don't want to talk to them really but I I actually kind of am in contact with them especially like more like whatever yeah it's on and off but more like I only want to talk to them about technical things like hey I need I still need my check like after the after I turned 18 open a bank account let's get let me get my check back please and then whatever like now I said I mentioned the Swiss password I'm probably gonna have to talk to them some point about that uh whatever any Tech in my family right like uh but I don't know maybe one time about like helped the whatever I don't know like there's always something any technical things that I need to speak to them um for business right would you say that you despite the struggles that you're happier on the outside that you ever regret not being in that community if I could if you asked me if I could the last two years which was hell if in a way if I could change it um would have I went back and and just skip the hard part where because at some point my life is gonna get good it's good because what am I trying to say I'm saying is it hell to leave so you should say no I'm saying when you leave it starts off as a hell that's that's the whole thing that I'm trying to advocate here to not to get educated the people over there so people can leave people are not completely disabled and uneducated and uneducated here meaning a person cannot read and write people won't whatever you can imagine of a person being completely unknown like from a third world country that's what it's like so for people when they leave it's very very hard so but eventually you get to live whatever life you want a free life what have been some of the the nice things what's some of the positive things in being outside I mean for example have you found any sort of romantic love and things like that I don't like to talk about um no not really no but uh no yeah okay okay fair enough see it's hard it's very hard to dating because um you know I don't know like I it's hard to get girls or guys whatever I'm into but um but yeah see I know one day it will it will change yeah yeah every every every good life has humble beginnings you're a very handsome and nice man you must it must be any any man or woman or whoever would be lucky to have you it's uh I don't know it's it's hard it's I I also thought like I'm very handsome but uh I guess handsomeness doesn't I don't know if it's see I'm always thinking if I'm gonna get the money that will well people always say money doesn't buy happiness I think it does like not that money will be the end solution to everything like you could have the ultimate amount of money and still not be happy but whatever problems I have or whatever I want to accomplish if I have adequate money I'll I'll be able to fix like I want to get educated right now I have no money to even start like even if I want to get into a GED program or something which I haven't found one people always say they are but they aren't right um there aren't any programs there that is like useful to me I've been in one of those programs it was on a very very high level compared to where I am so um you know I cannot read and write so and a lot of other things I haven't heard like basically I I don't even know what an essay is okay so um so a couple months ago I didn't even know the word essay but I still don't know what an essay is I don't know anything so could you get help from other former Hasidic Jews I think of people I know like Harvey weisberger and Julia Hearts yeah there are organizations I don't want to talk um [ __ ] about other um not people other organizations but those organizations sounds in theory very good but they don't really offer a whole lot you know I'm sorry but that's just what it is you know they I guess it's a great uh what is it called like networking uh organization too I met some good people through that organizations but not really that they can help maybe they need better management I don't know but yeah there isn't like they're not like oh yeah we will really help you we got this amazing Pro you're still kind of all alone out there and try to figure it out without much support um but yeah I know it sounds very negative everything I'm saying but but listen that's what it is also back to the question the last two years as bad as it may sound from some aspects I would have still chosen the struggle over over still being in there so from here on it only gets better somebody told me um uh uh what is it I forgot the exact thing but basically that when you're in the community you uh oh climbing the hill right so whatever I don't remember the point but when you're in the community you're never gonna you're always it's only gonna get worse from there right once you leave it may be bad but it's only gonna get better from there right everything every day gets better better maybe someday you feel like it took five steps forward and you went 20 steps back but in like the stock market if you look at the big picture you went up right so same thing same thing is is with anybody who leaves them in my life how I see I see it already and I know it's gonna get better so it and I know I'm gonna be like very rich and successful and happy but it starts off like that and I knew see that's why it took me a couple months to like make the decision because I I really wanted to understand with the little information about the world I just wanted to confirm that there's another we got a word that the world is not a box it's a circle so once I once I got that information I was like I'll leave and I'll figure it out after after I leave yeah and you you like the outside world then you is it is it was it crazy for you to see like I know you started going on the smartphone of the taxi driver but to start to see the world like the internet and TV and all the stuff out there see once you leave you also need to learn that not everything on on the Internet is like real and whatever like you need to like also realize that a whole lot of things is not the way you think it works from certain places you see it you know what I mean what what is your new source right where like what I used to live Upstate New York not now I live in the city but I used to think if I'm gonna come to the city like I said like Harlem or whatever um Manhattan I'm gonna get probably shot kill you commented in reality it's not like that right a lot of things you're being told even in the outside world again not every not everything is only not every bad thing only happens in there so you need to really learn everything you're like a toddler right you're constantly like an AI in mind you're constantly scanning and seeing new things airing new things learning new things comparison and contrast to see this versus that to understand because at first when I used to look at the world I thought everybody is the same I thought the homeless person on the street um drug addict looks the same to me then the successful person on Wall Street and the same person that shops at ShopRite they all they all look to me the same it's like some like if a person who didn't grow up Hasidic will look at the Hasidic people that all look the same but really yeah there's so many different lives within there so and and sometimes all the lives with with the and within the Hasidic Community could look bad or good but it's not so you need to find your own path what what outside this community you know yeah I suppose you're saying like you you go out with so little information that because I remember I interviewed someone called Emily green and I mentioned this sometimes because it amazed me when she left the Hasidic community in London um she went to a job interview and she didn't get the job and it was because she was wearing jeans instead of uh like suits trousers or whatever you're supposed to wear and she was like I had no idea that jeans were not the smart thing you know I thought jeans were the it looks the same to me that is very interesting yeah exactly that's what I'm saying like we don't understand like yeah including especially right like um certain things I I always watch the interviews that you have with other people like me I don't have like when I'm getting asked questions I don't have all these ideas like maybe now I'm gonna I add more ideas but like usually I don't know like I can't really think of certain things but yeah that's so true like with the clothes you you think that one thing is cool or one thing is the way you do it but really that's the the complete different way because at first everything looks the same you think like you know but that's what I said you when you live through it you only go up from it you go you've got loads of ideas and you're very you speak brilliantly about these things I mean when you if you've listened to the other ones with like Julia Hart and Javi weisberger I mean Julius Julius I think in her 40s or 50s I don't want to offend her if she's younger than that I don't know how old she is I listen to the one with Javi yeah yeah she's got to be what 34. I don't know I'm seeing her soon actually in in London because she's going to be in London um but uh yeah I think you've got a you I think you're right you're going to keep working hard and you're going to find a way hey where can people find all your stuff like Instagram and YouTube so my name is Joseph Krause so if they search on on any like YouTube and Instagram especially j-o-s-e-p-h is Joseph Krause is k-r-a-u-s and on Instagram it's Joseph cross18 and on YouTube it's just Joseph Krause so there's a couple like yeah fake accounts you make sure you follow like I have like about 9 000 followers right now so if they see it that that's the one okay guys make everyone make sure to to find Joseph Krauss on YouTube and Instagram I'll put the links below as well and if you've got work for him he's very hard working and very intelligent and he'll do a great job for you so do get in touch do Reach Out gotta help our guests um and uh yeah thank you Joseph and everyone keep watching I'll put the videos with I think Julia Hart and Javi weisberger keep on watching the show and uh see you all next time

Channel: Andrew Gold

Views: 69,036

Keywords: andrew gold, on the edge with andrew gold, on the edge, podcast, interviews, jewish, hasidic, ultra orthodox, joseph kraus, chavie weisberger, julia haart

Id: TK8q9f3nGfQ

Length: 60min 40sec (3640 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 24 2023